


Project Iphigenia

by FrostedGemstones22



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, F/M, Greek Mythology - Freeform, Space Colony ARK
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-26
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2018-05-23 08:19:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 38
Words: 209,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6110628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrostedGemstones22/pseuds/FrostedGemstones22
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bellamy and Clarke are set in an arranged marriage on the Ark at the ages of 5 and 10, in an effort to ease the gap between the richest and the poorest of civilians. But, with the hope the pair find love together naturally, no one tells them until their 18, but pushes them together periodically. As it turns out, some loves are truly meant to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Why am I posting this when I already have like a thousand other stories going? Why am I posting this at 5 am when I have a class tomorrow, need to go and get gifts, have an anniversary dinner, and might go to a midnight movie? Why do all my Bellarke fanfics have really long names or names I can't spell without checking (Blame the greeks!)
> 
> These are the questions I ask myself, and yet I post it anywhere.
> 
> So this will be an AU that I've been wanting to start for a long time, or one that takes place with Bellamy and Clarke falling in love on the Ark. I've seen them before, and I really wanted to try my own hand at it. I also love me some Arranged Marriage tropes and saw a story about some historical arranged marriage where the parents didn't tell the kids, they just kept pushing them together and they eventually fell in love on their own. That was basically the whole inspiration here.
> 
> This takes place with the idea that the revolt of the lower stations happened not around the time they were trying to get to earth, but about 10 years before. They had time to ease the tensions, which comes into this story. Not to say those disgruntled feelings won't vanish totally, but, I suppose you'll have to see.
> 
> When I first began writing this, I thought it might be just a one-shot (albeit, like a 15,000 word one), but I now realize there's so much story I want to tell that I can't help but make it a multi-chap. I can't promise that updates will be common, I just wanted to get this one out there to test the waters.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

"This has gotten out of hand, Abby. One time is an isolated incident to be aware of, watch, but usually is soothed or dissolves away. But five? Great, stars..." Thelonious Jaha's voice was rough, and his eyes traveled around the Medical Bay with sadness and regret. The newly appointed Chancellor wrung his hands, looking to one of his most trusted friends helplessly.

"I have redefined my opinion of luck at each incident." Abby agreed dryly, "The first time, it was lucky we discovered the plan before it happened. The second, that we stopped it only moments into it. The third time, I thought we had evaded disaster when there was only a man who lost a tooth. The fourth time it was that no one had to stay overnight here, just minor scratches. But this time?" She had the same tone of desperation, shaking her head as everyone flitted around, tending to burns and scars and injuries of the men and women, "This time, I consider it lucky these people are still alive."

She met Jaha's gaze with a deep frown, "Next time we won't be lucky." There was a certainty in her voice, a certainty that Jaha knew deep down to be true. He nodded gravely, licking his lips as he considered his next words with caution.

"Next time, I fear you are right. We will lose people. It will not just be an incident, but a rebellion, or dare I say, a mutiny." His voice was so quiet that Abby almost didn't hear it. She understood the need for scrutiny; no one wanted to incite panic among the people on the Ark, not before this could be taken care of.

Jake Griffin jogged into the Medical Bay, an emotionless expression planted on his face.

"The damage?" Jaha asked softly, wincing.

"Fixable." Jake said, and both his wife and Jaha relaxed. He led them outside to a place where few people walked, but despite this, no one talked until they made it back to the Griffin's residence.

"Clarke is with Wells at your place." Jake said, using the keypad to unlock the door, "I figured that this was a talk we didn't need children to hear. They are well occupied with ice cream and chess." He said, breaking into a small smile.

Jaha seemed disturbed though, shaking his head. "Wells could have been in that area. It's a common route he takes home from school. If he'd just been a little early..." His hands shook, and he couldn't even finish his second.

"But he wasn't." Abby was quick to comfort him.

"And Abby says the injuries just need time to heal, but no one is really that bad off, right?" Jake said, looking to her for confirmation.

"Yes, of course."

"The area that was damaged in the explosion is far more minor than we thought. Two families need to relocate while we fix it, but other than that, it shouldn't take much more energy."

"The energy to fix the underlying problem though..."

Jake and Abby exchanged glances. Both realized that their friend could not be soothed, no matter their words. But neither denied the problem at hand. Jake did what any sensible friend would do; he got a strong drink for the three of them. Jaha hardly glanced at it.

"I feel as though I have already failed, and I've hardly led our people for more than a six months." Jaha said brokenly, "Perhaps it's a sign I should stand down..."

"Nonsense!" Abby's voice was firm, "It's not you. Diana may have had these problems too, had the timing matched up. The unrest I think has been brewing for ages." She said.

"If you can't fix this, you might be right." Jake said, and Abby sent him a hard glare, "But, we know you will, of course." He added at his wife's look.

"I've been talking with Diana. I did just after I heard." Jaha admitted, taking a swig of his drink.

"Do you trust her?" Abby's voice was suspicious, "You did, after all, take her job."

"She was voted out naturally, as happens. She hold no ill-will. We want what's best for our people," Jaha's voice sounded as though it was pre-recorded, meaning he'd thought of Abby's accusation before, and had already prepared a speech. Jake wasn't sure he even believed it himself but Jaha was grasping at straws by this time.

"She's aways had a better way with the people." Jaha reminisced, sighing, "Not the Alpha station people, or even the Power Station, but the people with the smallest houses and scarcest funds. In a way I have yet to master. These have been orchestrated by those people, of course I would go to her." He added, sounding a bit more confident. Abby leaned back into her seat, but did not relax or break her narrowed stare.

"What did she say?" Jake prompted, leaning in, curious.

"The lowest workers feel as though the government is running almost like we are kings or queens. There is a great divide between those with means and those without that is becoming more and more apparent everyday. The rich marry the rich and become wealthier, the poor marry the poor and struggle. They feel undervalued, unnoticed, and horribly judged as those compared to people like us. The children at school are the only times the different wealth levels interact, but after that? Who was the last person that didn't live on Alpha station but Mecha, for example, that you took the time to talk to?" Jaha raised his gaze to his friends. Abby bit the inside of her lip, hearing his truth, despite wanting to reject it.

"Ah..." Jake nodded, "I see."

"The children are the key." Jaha said, leaning back, swirling his drink around his glass. His tone suddenly became very serious, "I think I have an idea to fix these ideas. I've been considering it since I met with you, but even before that. I'd already heard the rumblings of these thoughts from the lower stations. It's crazy, and it is much to ask but not only do I ask this of you as a friend to support me, but also to consider that I truly feel like this will mend the problem and we will have peace again."

His tone was hopeful, and Jake and Abby shared frightened looks. They seemed to have an internal battle between them, unspeaking. Jaha did not interject, just watched the rapidly changing looks between them, even if they did not quite yet know what he was asking. Jake seemed against it, but finally, he gave a long huff.

"Fine." He said, "We trust you, you know that? Only because we trust you. Not Diana." Jake said in a clipped tone.

"I know, and I cannot thank you enough." Jaha said, for the first time, relaxing.

"When do we hear this plan?" Abby asked.

"I am holding a meeting of the officers and council-men to announce my plan and hopefully gather participants. You will know then." He said, and stood, "I will go see if Wells is okay. I'll send Clarke back your way." He said. The door shut with an audible click behind him.

Jake looked at Abby, frowning.

"We don't even know what we just agreed to." He said, angry.

"Jake, we have to support Thelonious. We both know he is what our people need in a leader. I'm sure he's thought very long and hard, and it seems whatever he's asking of us, he will do himself. We should trust him."

"I do." Jake said, standing up to wash out the glasses, "I am just worried that whatever his plan is won't be enough. These people are truly hurt, and it's going to take a lot to fix it. I don't want Clarke to be collateral for whatever this is."

"I know..." Abby sighed, running her hand through her hair, "But we have to have faith, don't we? Thelonious would never put his son or our daughter through something he didn't have faith in the safety of it."

Jake opened his mouth to answer, but Clarke burst through the door. The five-year-old had smeared and dried ice-cream around her mouth, and her smile was dazzling.

"Guess what mom! I finally beat Wells in chess!"

PROJECT*I

The meeting room was packed. Not only was it just the council that Jaha had invited, but it was also the officers and any representative of the people that could be crammed into the usually stuffy room. Jaha looked calm and collected, much different than the nervous man Abby and Jake had seen at their house three nights ago. Abby sent looks over to Diana Sydney every once and awhile, thinking she looked far too pleased. Everyone else looked worried, or even the slightest bit hopeful. News of the explosion in the Alpha Station made by a small band of men from the Factory Station traveled fast, as all things did aboard a relatively small space craft. Although the three responsible had been floated yesterday, and usually that would consider a problem done and resolved, there was still tension. It was because everyone, just as Jaha had predicted, realized the deeper problem.

As it were, the men's thoughts were not singular. Although it only took three people to orchestrate a bomb that could have killed people, but luckily only injured, their sentiments remained deeply ingrained within various other Arkers. You couldn't kill an idea, not formally. This was exactly where the problem was. Kill one, three more rebels emerge. The frequency of the attacks since the first one proved this idea quite eloquently.

Most were there looking fearful, because they realized this too. They also knew the problem was growing more violent in nature, and feared murder would start next. The few people there from the lower of the stations- the Factory Station- held near smirks on their faces, hoping that this meeting would be a settlement to their demands, even if they themselves didn't quite know what that was. They just had a sense they'd been wronged, and it should be about time the stuffy Alphas fixed...something.

Jaha had assured Abby and Jake before the meeting that Diana thought his plan was a good one, and that the few Factory Worker representatives she'd spoken too had found it equally as agreeable. Abby still had little idea what it could be, but she recalled what he'd spoken of in their room. The children were the key. She felt this to be significant, but she couldn't even begin to imagine what that meant.

"I'm glad everyone could make it today." Jaha culled the quiet murmuring with a single, confident statement. Everyone quieted, gazing at him, breaths held, "We all know why we are here. Most have figured out the problems that reside within our Ark. We are all equally responsible for letting it get this out of hand. The stations have retreated into ourselves; our friends are our neighbors, our children marry each other, our jobs reside within our areas. We hardly leave, and even more rarely make more than small talk with someone who is not from our living quarters."

Abby observed the way people rocked on their heels or bit their lips; just as she'd felt shame, they did too.

"I do not condone what the men from the Factory station did, but I am horrified as that I understand them, for what have we truly become? We are meant to be kinder than this, more accepting, more integrated." He said. He looked at Diana, who nodding in assurance.

"We cannot fix the hurt and neglected feelings of the lower stations that have been fermenting for years, but we can work to make the bridges between the stations bigger, and the gaps between one way of living and another less obvious. I plan to put a program into reality, one that proves that we of the Alpha station, and the remainder of the Ark people wish to fix these feelings with actions instead of empty words. We as adults can do little; we have been living as we have been for far too long. You can attempt to fix things, make a better effort, but within a year or so I fear it would only go back to the way it was. Our children, however..." He locked eyes with Abby, and she felt her breath stop. This involved Clarke.

"Our children are young and free of prejudice. They are all together in one school, stations mixed. My son speaks fondly of a smart boy from the Agro station, and teaches a young girl from Mecha station chess. Not only will they be the next generation, but hopefully one that is better than us."

Jaha took a breath. To the normal listener, it was a casual place, a place not unusual to inhale, and didn't last any longer than it should have. But to Abby, it seemed to last an eon, as she hung in between his words waiting to hear what she'd agreed to and wondered, in that brief moment, what kind of awful mother she was. Jaha looked at her, hardly a glance, and she saw so many emotions in his eyes, and it frightened her.

She saw an apology first, something that unnerved her. She saw unsureness, replaced by a firm conviction and the desperation to fix a problem he didn't know he was inheriting, and didn't fully know how to deal with, but understood he had to do something. She saw the stormy resolution in his eyes, the kind of sureness that made him more than just a singular man but truly a leader, the belief that this is what had to be done for his people to survive in peace.

That look Abby understood. It was perhaps the only thing that kept her grounded when he opened his mouth again, and what would keep her grounded through the many years that his next sentence would change.

Thelonious looked up, all traces of doubt vanished from his eyes, and this was reflected in the people. He had the courage to speak something that hadn't ever been done before, but by God, Abby hoped it worked.

"My program will match children up from different stations with the intention of, one day, a marriage between them. It is called Project Iphigenia."


	2. Chapter 2

Murmuring broke out among everyone. Abby couldn't gauge anyone's reaction, not even her own, except for her husband's. Jake was one of deep hurt though, almost betrayal. She bit her lip; Clarke had always been a father's daughter.

"I know it sounds almost crazy, but I am putting my own son through it. Abby and Jake- who you know as trusted officers- have also agreed to put their daughter though it."

Suddenly, all the eyes were on Jake and Abby. Jake was all but frozen, and Jaha was sending her frantic looks from behind the staring eyes. Abby stepped forward, finding her voice, albeit it was cracked in the start.

"Yes, yes. We have." She said, almost in a daze. She took a strong breath inward, "We trust our chancellor, and we truly believe that this is how things will be fixed. We are extending an olive branch and we urge you to do the same."

"Trust you with the lives of our children?" Someone from the back of the room sounded shocked.

"I understand that it is difficult, and we're not asking anyone to make choices right away. Anyone on the Ark can sign a child up to be put into consideration for this program. We don't intend to make any matches hastily; all children will be reviewed for their tendencies, family history, personalities...we will make sure all matches are as safe as possible. We hope to also choose children ten and under. If during the time before they turn of age and a half turns out to be dangerous or otherwise, they will be broken from the contract immediately." Jaha said. This eased some thoughts, but Abby saw that Jake still had a deep-set frown upon his face.

"Flyers will be hung tonight. If anyone has any further questions, the can come directly to me. The deadline to submit a child's application is three weeks from now. Meeting adjourned."

People filed out of the room, until all that was left was Jaha, Abby, and Jake.

"I hope you're not to upset, my friends." Jaha said apologetically.

"This is too much to ask." Jake said, his voice quivering, "I could never make Clarke..." He with-held a stifled gasp, "No. I won't."

"I understand your hesitance. I wish it were simple enough that Wells could marry from love instead of obligation." Jaha agreed wistfully. Jake still remained coldly focused on Jaha, "I will make an agreement with you. For the purpose of helping me, Clarke will be interred. But if she is truly unhappy and wishes not to marry her intended by her eighteenth birthday, I will release her off all accountability and compensate the family of her intended with enough money to move up to the Alpha station, if they so pleased."

"I think that's a fair agreement." Abby said, "Right Jake?" She prompted, a threatening tone lurking beneath her question.

"Fine." Jake said, "On the agreement we don't tell Clarke. If she wishes to marry the boy, it will be because she's fallen in love with him." He said, and turned stiffly around, leaving Abby and Jaha alone. Abby let out a whistle.

"That went better than I thought it would."

As soon as Aurora saw the poster, she knew what she had to do. She'd heard people gasping about the Chancellor's plan long before she saw the poster, but couldn't let herself get too hopeful until there was palpable truth, and not just the rumors of the wash girls.

She shoved herself to the front of a gathered crowd, eyes widening as she read the words on the printed paper.

"You gotta think the Prices and the Princesses of the Alpha Station are getting the worst end of the stick, yeah?" She heard someone say to their friend, "We move up in station, but they move down."

"Good!" The friend said pompously, "About time they got knocked down a few rungs."

"My son could be picked." A different woman said, gulping, "Stars, I could be rich! Powerful."

"Any of our children could be, theoretically." Aurora heard herself murmuring.

She ripped an application from the bottom, already with the firm intention to sign Bellamy up. Her initial thoughts dove to Octavia, her illegal daughter. To have her son marry into a family wealthier than theirs, not even someone on Alpha (the sign had made it very clear that your child would only be matched with a different station), would be incredible. The Factory station was almost the lowest of the low, so anything her son could provide to help an extra mouth in an already struggling family would be incredible. This sign, this decree, was the answer to every prayer she'd ever made.

She felt guilty that she thought of Bellamy second, when Octavia wasn't even the one being signed up into a marriage of someone they didn't know and maybe wouldn't love. Truly, deep down, she knew it wasn't fair he was placed with such great responsibility, when it was her own stupid mistake that landed them in this mess. Bellamy deserved the opportunity to gain more from life than what he currently had, to have his own bigger place and own things, instead of feeling tied to his mother and sister his whole life. She knew she'd put the thought in his head, unwittingly, and he'd feel guilty if he ever left, because her son was such a good person. To force him away, at a chance at happiness...yes, Bellamy deserved that.

Aurora Blake was on of the first to submit her application to the program.

That singular action, the ripping of the page that Aurora Blake would hand in a mere hour later with her son's name scrawled across the bottom, would change Clarke and Bellamy's lives forever. From that moment, they were intertwined. Unmovable from the other. Their paths shifted in a way that neither could have ever imagined.

At that moment, Clarke was five and she knew that you could fall in love with a boy, because of her mom and dad, and she might have though a couple boys in her class were 'cute' but then again it might just be what she though she was expected to say.

Bellamy was 10 and all girls were yucky, except his sister, and most were stupid and giggly and that made him uncomfortable. It would be years before he began to see them as something he might want. Both of their thoughts were lightyears away from marriage, but here they were, 5 and 10 and although both were unawares, it was going to become so in such a short time.

As Aurora tucked Bellamy into bed that night, Octavia snuggled up against him, she smiled gently and hoped so much he'd be picked. He was such a good kid, and she knew he'd be a good husband one day. She hoped that this would be what would bring him everything he'd ever want, and best of all, maybe someone he could truly love and learn that you could have that, after watching his mother fail in that aspect time and time again. It was what all mothers wished for their sons, of course.

As Jake tucked Clarke in, he hoped she'd match with someone kind and gentle and compassionate. Someone who would treat his princess like a queen, and would never hurt her. It was what all fathers wished of their daughters, of course.

Perhaps, it was that wish that two people whispered so intensely that brought them together. Or maybe, it would be a much simpler explanation after all, that being that sometimes two people are merely meant to find each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yay, second chapter! I realize it's a bit short, but I do think that these chapters are going to be more like small moments instead of a long narrative. I mean, we're going to attempt to cover from when Clarke is 5 and Bellamy is 10 to when Clarke is 23 and Bellamy is 27. So, yeah, lots of stuff to pack into one small fanfiction :)
> 
> I hope you like this, and I promise, more interesting stuff will come the next chapter. You can encourage me to get it out faster by leaving a review/kudos!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yay! An update! I'm about five chapters ahead right now (we'll see how long that lasts). I also made a rough plot line, so I know where I'm going and such. I think I'm going to try to get these chapters out every 7-10 days. No promises, but it's good to have goals.

The program was overwhelmingly successful. Thelonius was pleased to report back to Abby and Jake that it seemed almost everyone had responded it with positive attitudes. There were the few negative naysayers, but those people were present at any situation ever. There were hundreds from the lower stations, as he'd expected, but what he hadn't foreseen was the support from the more well off stations.

"It's thanks to you two." He said, "People trust you and your judgment. I had more that one person tell me that hearing my own son would be in the program was nice, but hearing Clarke would be as well truly made them believe that this could work."

"So, you think you have enough applications?" Abby asked.

"At the time of the closing of the applications today, 38% of the youth population has been entered." Jaha was beaming. Although the number was not even half, he considered this a colossal victory. He'd expected the number to be 7 or 8 percent, if he was being generous. But 38? That was mind-blowing, "The families that are not chosen will receive a consolation gift for being so generous to help the better of the Ark. While the amount may not make much of a difference to a person in a higher station, it will be very well received to those in lower ones. These people offered their children knowing they might not be picked with the hope of something better. They deserve a little back in return." Jaha continued.

"I think that's right." Jake said, nodding, "When will you have decided?"

Jaha let out a long breath. "These things take time. We need to be extremely careful. I would like you, Abby, to go through medical histories and decide which children would not be applicable for this sort of program."

Abby stared at him, and let out a strangled chuckle, "You want me to go through about 200 medical histories?"

"As I said, these thing take time. Optimistically, I give it 5 months to pair things properly. Realistically, 8." He handed Abby a pad, "I don't expect you to do it all in one day, obviously, or for it to take away from your job. You can just do it when you have time. Also, this way you know anyone your daughter will be paired with will be of good health." He pointed out.

"Fine." Abby agreed, "Only because you asked."

It took 5 and a half months to figure everything out, get all the couples squared away. In the end, there were 22 couples. The first hundred or so people had been whittled away for various reasons; bad health history, history of problems within that family, or psychological tendencies, and a million more. After that, Jaha locked himself away, only bringing in an expert of some sort every couple days, trying to craft the best matches he possibly could. He made a point to observe the parent or parents and the child to see what they were like. He tried to make sure that there would be an opportunity for these children to grow up compatible.

He only found 44 people worthy and in right enough state, as he informed Abby and Jake privately. To the public, he said that it was because this was the first run, and he didn't want to over-fill the experiment. Perhaps, he said, if this went well the idea would be brought up to be done once every generation. 22 couples were hard enough to track as it was.

The couples were not announced publically to everyone, mostly because Jake and Abby asked him to. They didn't want to tell Clarke at all, but hoped that Jaha's match would be on the mark. After considering their appeal, he realized that it might be best after all, so that the children had every chance of growing up with a semblance of normality surrounding them, instead of stardom or jealously or even hatred. On the day of a couple's marriage, he would release the announcement they were part of the project.

He also helped the secrecy of it all would help embolden those not within the program that fell in love with someone in a different station, as it would be normalized and hopefully get to a point that those in the program could just as well be those out.

If a parent or a child wished to make it known, that was his or her own choice, but for now it was held under tight secrecy. Everyone that submitted an application, chosen or not, received a small sum to make sure that someone couldn't deduce other than Wells and Clarke- who were obvious participants- who was partaking in it. Jaha made careful visits to parents to announce the news.

The last pair of parents he was visiting was Abby and Jake.

"I think it might be helpful to have a group of the children in the program, just an after-school sort of situation. We cannot possibly pretend to understand what they will go through, and it might be nice for them to have a support group."

"We still don't plan on telling Clarke. Wouldn't it be obvious if almost all the children were paired up and she and her partners were left? She's not dumb, Thelonius." Jake said.

"I never thought she was. But as it is, most parents seem to share similar sentiments as you, the hope their children will fall in love naturally. If at most, it seems one or two parents intend to tell their children right away. One or two pairs out of 44 students? Hardly obvious."

"It does seem like a reasonable idea." Abby was nodding, "A network of others. Well thought out."

"It will also encourage bonding among the stations. I will create other groupings of parents that wish to push their children out of their comfort zone in the same way, but obviously not with them in the program." Jaha said, thinking out loud.

"I suppose..." Jake frowned, "I have been wondering what you think the success rate for this will be? We have far more people in the lower stations than the higher, so it's obvious that most of the participants will be from those places. Also, by the numbers, those stations produce the most delinquents."

"I do hope that perhaps they will be told when they are older and the prospect of a better life down the road will assure them they don't have to turn to felonies such as stealing or selling illegal items. As we also know, most of the delinquents or offenders were doing it for harmless reasons, like feeding a family or getting medicine for sick children. If we were in a kinder world..." Jaha shook his head, "I truly couldn't guess. I just hope that this will be enough."

Jake grunted in agreement.

Jaha pulled a sheet from his bag. "Every family has one, for reference, and all have been very reasonable and promised not to let anyone see the list. They are of course parents, first and foremost, and their main concern is their children."

Jake and Abby grabbed the paper anxiously, their eyes ravenously eating through the page to find their daughter's name and the name that would one day-God willing- be their future son-in-law.

"Bellamy Blake?" Jake read out loud, "Where is he from? Do you remember, honey?" He turned to Abby.

"I scrolled through 203 histories, Jake. I couldn't even recall Wells' by this point." She said, laughing. Jaha was prepared. He had a table with the boy's information ready for them. The pair of parents fell into silence as they absorbed everything about him.

"Whose his father?" Jake said, frowning, as the area where the parents were listed only had a singular name.

"I think I recall this." Abby said, putting the tablet down, "A woman came in, clearly anxious and distressed, pregnant. She had no husband. I asked her as kindly as I could if it could have been an assault, but she very firmly wouldn't talk about it. I always had a feeling the child was conceived in poor circumstances, but she already seemed like a good mother. I get feelings of that, you know?"

"Are you sure this boy is the best match for Clarke?" Jake asked, his eyes still glued to the singular parental name.

"His mother is the hardest worker I know. She was recommended to me a couple years ago on very good assurance she was the best seamstress on the Ark, and I couldn't agree more. She is a good person, and does her work diligently and it is always well done. It is not many mothers that can single-handley control a ship, but she does it well."

"And the boy?"

"From every teacher he ever had, I heard the same things over and over. The mountains of praise. He is unwaveringly respectful, incredibly intelligent, a harder worker than his mother-, which I didn't quite think possible, but most of all the kindest soul, they've met in a very long time. Between you and me, I truly think I gave you the best choice of all the boys we got. The circumstances of his birth station are unfortunate, but nothing that could have been helped. I think that now that he has doors opened and opportunities laid out he could do something big. His teachers even laughed about him being Chancellor, and I know they don't say that about just any student."

He let the two think about what he said.

"I look forward to meeting him." Abby finally said, smiling, "I do think that this is a very good choice, Thelonius. Hopefully it will play out in our favor."

Miles away, at the Blake room Aurora couldn't believe her luck. Jaha had only just left after giving her possibly the best news of her life. Her son not only had been chosen for the project, but he was to marry Clarke Griffin of Alpha station. She could have never hoped for something more prosperous than this.

She knew of Clarke's parents and found them, besides the current Chancellor, to be two of the most honorable people aboard the ARK. Abby Griffin was known by trade to treat almost anyone, despite their station, and had gone to lengths more than one to save someone who other doctors might not deem worthy. She'd actually met Jake Griffin once; she'd patched a rip in his work jeans for him, although she doubted he recalled. Although the job had been laughably easy and not more than a ten-minute fix, Jake had been so kind and bright and had insisted on giving her a bigger tip than she could ever deserve for that small of work.

She had no question in her mind that the daughter of these two star people would be anything but kind and compassionate and lovely. She didn't know if Bellamy would be able to fall in love with her, but this girl gave him a damn good shot at that.

Bellamy carefully opened the door and shut it quickly behind him, returning home from school. They never let their door swing too widely open, in case Octavia was out and about for some reason.

"Mom, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" He questioned, and Aurora wiped her eyes. She hadn't even realized she'd been crying happy tears until he said something.

Octavia, hearing her brother's voice, shoved back the floor tile. "A voice I don't recognize was in here. I couldn't her what he was saying though. It sounded boring though." She said, detangling herself from the knot she twisted herself in to stay comfortable in her small space under the floor.

Panic ran across Bellamy's face.

"No, mom, is Octavia-," He asked, his first thoughts that the man in here had found out about his sister.

"We're still safe, Bellamy. I was getting some good news, that's all." She assured, taking her son's hands in her own, "Some very good news."

"Oh," He relaxed, "What is it?"

She contemplated telling him, for a brief second. Then she recalled Jaha had told her that Clarke's parents wanted it a secret. She could understand their hesitation to tell her, Clarke was only five after all. Bellamy-and Clarke for that matter- did deserve to know, but not today. One day in the future.

So, she instead brought out the small sum of money Jaha had gifted them so no one would be able to tell who was in the program or not; everyone who applied got a thank-you gift of money. Perhaps for Clarke, this sort of money was just enough to get trinkets or something to save for a dark day and spend all in one. But she could stretch this gift for months, starting with a special dinner.

"We get a nice dinner tonight. Anything you want, Bellamy." She said, holding up the bag.

"O can decide." Bellamy said quietly, his eyes widening, "Where did you get that?"

"I won a contest." She said, which was true, "And you should decide tonight Bellamy. You deserve a moment of what you want." She said, which letting him pick the dinner choice was the least he could do now that she was signing his adult life away. She hoped one day he'd understand what she did and why.

"If you're sure…" He frowned, tapping his foot, "Do you think you could get us Turkey and Gravy? Like that meal we had once for Thanksgiving?" He asked softly.

She patted his cheeks, and kissed his unruly black hair. "That sounds wonderful Bell, I'll go right now."

As she was closing the door, she was accosted by a sometimes friend. They were friends only because they ran in the same circle of, well, outside business. And, if Aurora was being perfectly honest, she couldn't stand her. Friendship indeed was a very lose term.

"Jaha made rounds today. Bell a lucky winner?" She asked, right in Aurora's face. On one hand, Aurora was extremely tempted to brag. What mother didn't want to tell everyone she knew about how great their child was? But she withheld her bragging, thinking of not herself but her son and her future-daughter-in-law.

"Seems not." She said, and that was all she said.

"Awe, real shame, you know." The woman snapped her lips; somehow she had bubblegum, "Too bad. Don't feel too let down, though. Not everyone can as perfect as my son, Dax-he was picked, don't you know? You do well anyway, so, you know, you'll still be fine."

Aurora forced a smile, "You're right. We'll be perfectly fine." And indeed, she had no doubt about that. Her son was marrying the Alpha Princess; there was only one, so obviously Dax had matched with someone else. And this was the victory she silently rejoiced in her heart all the way down to the food distribution center.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, an update a week :) I hope y'all are excited. This is their FIRST MEETING! I love writing Little!Clarke and Little!Bellamy. There're so adorable :3

The first time Bellamy and Clarke met was at a dinner set up by Clarke's parents, not soon after the matching pairs were announced. It was a dinner with a two-fold plan; to introduce the betrothed couple (without telling them) and to meet his mother, and discuss the now imminent future of their children.

Bellamy and Clarke had never truly met before this, Clarke was five, just beginning to go to school during the whole day, and Bellamy was ten, already a level above where Clarke would be at school. Some of the other couples, Abby had to think, at least knew each other in the broadest sense, but her daughter would have never met her future-husband before in her life. She didn't know which was better.

"Clarke," Jake motioned for his young daughter as Abby finished preparing the dinner, "You have to be nice tonight. We're meeting some new friends, okay? You'll see them a lot after tonight." He said carefully, looking directly into her eyes.

"Why?" Clarke scrunched her nose, her tiny voice ever curious.

"Because..." Abby answered, looking at Jake with a caged expression, "They are our new friends. Wells' dad is trying to encourage people to make new friends. That's always fun, right?"

"Yes." Clarke agreed happily, "The teacher says that new friends are a good thing. I make a new friend everyday in school."

"This is no different." Jake said, and he and Abby both relaxed.

"Is the new friend nice?" Clarke asked, "I only make friends with nice people."

"Of course." Jake didn't even hesitate, although he met his wife's eyes, and he knew she was hoping the sentiments were true. Jaha had assured everyone with unwavering confidence that the program developed specifically for this experiment was technological and groundbreaking and examined every aspect of the possible candidate's lives like each piece was a different number of a code to match them absolutely perfectly in every way. While they'd had no trial run to see the results, he was sure that the couples would be very compatible, even if Jake doubted it- Clarke was five! How could anyone properly gather who she'd be or what she'd like so young? Abby reminded him they were binded in now, and that they needed to have faith in their friend.

"Good." Clarke said, going back to carefully paging through an old magazine that her parents owned. It was torn in many places and almost all the pages were crumpled, but Clarke loved running her fingers down the stunning figures in dresses no one on the Ark had the luxury to own.

Outside, approaching the Griffin's housing unit with a sense of covertness, Aurora was having a similar discussion with her son.

"Are you sure we should be both leaving the house?" Bellamy was stunned; his mother or himself were always in the room to make sure no one found out about his sister. His mother had drilled this into his head a thousand times over and he was almost sure this was a ploy to get him in trouble, in a weird way, although his mother would have little motive for doing so. Still! The principal of it remained, and Bellamy felt very uneasy about leaving his sister all the way on the other side of the ship totally alone. His mother had left her with a piece of cake; something either child rarely got, mostly to appease her.

"We have to be here, Bellamy. It's for the best of us." Aurora reminded him again, "We're going to meet some people. They're very nice, and you'll be seeing a lot of them, I'm sure." She said.

"Why?" Bellamy nervously glanced around, feeling out of place in the posh atmosphere of Station Alpha.

"Well..." Aurora hesitated. She didn't want to spill anything she wasn't supposed to, so she thought on her feet quickly, "Why shouldn't we make new friends?"

"Because you told me that O should be my only friend." Bellamy whispered, almost angrily. A twinge of guilt twisted in Aurora; she had told him that. It was better this way, if Bellamy relied on his sister as his go-to friend. Therefore, her illegal daughter would always have someone to keep her company, and also Bellamy's friends would never wonder why they were never allowed to his place. The more people that ran within their circle the more likely Octavia's chances of being found out were.

Aurora had mixed feelings about this match. On one hand, it was very advantageous. If she were going to risk her children for the better of both their lives, eventually, perhaps it was just they got the best possible match that they could. On the other hand, she knew that her son's match's parents were both on the council, and if they ever found out they'd be obligated to report her. It was dangerous, but the gamble might just pay off in the long run. If they played their cards right...she had to hope.

"How old is he?" Bellamy asked, "Shouldn't I already know him?"

"She." Aurora said, watching as Bellamy's face contorted to an unreadable expression, "It's a girl. She's younger than you. O's age."

"Oh...okay?" Bellamy sounded unsure. Obviously it couldn't be the best thing in the world, being expected to play with not only another girl (his life was filled with girls) but also someone his sister's age.

"She's apparently very intelligent. I think you'll like her."

Aurora had occasionally seen the bright happy ball of sunshine in the halls that was her son's future match. Clarke Griffin was always grinning, always shaking out her golden hair and laughing like everything was hilarious. Her happiness was infectious. Perhaps her quiet and reserved son needed a girl like that in his life.

"I'm not saying you have to become best friends with her." Aurora sighed heavily, leaning down to stand at Bellamy's level, toughing his shoulders, "Just...be nice to her? Try to see good in her? Okay?" She pleaded. The worst thing in the world she could imagine happening was that Bellamy would hate his future match. She didn't know if she could rightfully make him go through with the wedding then, and she wasn't even sure she could call anything off.

"Okay." Bellamy finally relented, but he still seemed nervous, "I've...I've just never been to this part of the Ark. My clothes seem so dirty in comparison." He admitted quietly. Aurora held her tongue; she'd been here causally enough, doing 'favors' to keep her children both fed and clothed and somewhat happy. The housing stations of the Alpha station were very nice and roomy, and she felt a burst of glee inside her that if all things went well, one day he'd be living her too.

It reminded her why she was threatening everything she'd tried so hard to protect...for Bellamy, her sweetest boy, with the heart of gold.

"You look perfectly fine, Bellamy. They're people exactly like us, I promise. They just live across the Ark."

They knocked on the Griffin door exactly at 2000 hours, and both parents opened the door promptly.

"Aurora, welcome!" Abby was grinning, and Jake was also looking very pleasant behind her, but both had an air of tension to them. She saw the tightness of their shoulders, the smiles that didn't quite reach her ears, and so on. Aurora felt it too; such odd circumstances to be meeting! Of course, she hoped she'd get along with Clarke's parents, and she'd only heard good things about them (even about those on the Factory station that never had anything good to say about any Alpha Station inhabitant) so she was soothed in this regard.

"Are you my new friend?" Clarke poked out between her parent's legs, sizing up Bellamy. Bellamy, although towering above the girl by a good couple feet, felt her gaze burn him down to size. She was so confident, everything about her oozed self-assurance and an air of leadership that he didn't even think was merely because she lived on the Alpha Station. Some people, as his mother said, were just born to be leaders.

"Uh..." Bellamy stumbled, looking at his mom with wide eyes, "Yes?"

"Okay." Clarke decided, "You'll do."

Bellamy stared at her, uncomprehending. She sighed, and threw her hand out, "You're supposed to shake someone's hand when you meet them. That's good manners." She recited, "I'm Clarke." She prompted boldly.

"Bellamy?" It came out as a question. He knew his sister was a headstrong type of girl, but this girl was a thousand paces above that in a different level that he didn't know how to classify.

There was a soft chuckle above him, and his mother was looking at the two of them knowingly. Bellamy didn't understand the look, and he wouldn't for a long time. He could at least concede that yes, this girl was different than most girls, and perhaps being around her wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. He had half been expecting a stupid five-year-old that was shy, but this girl seemed to not even know the meaning of the word.

"Dinner's ready. Perfect timing. Won't you come in?" Abby said, stepping aside.

Bellamy couldn't help but marvel at the space in here. It was at least four of his put together, and there were doors that led to other places still. He couldn't imagine what he'd do with all this space, all this room! And dinner, oh stars, it already was making his mouth water. He saw a glimpse of it through the arch to a little kitchen, and was stunned at the sheer amount of food and the quality.

Dinner at his place was often a quiet affair without much fanfare. His mother assured they never went hungry, although often Bellamy felt he could do with a whole other serving. Meat was especially expensive to get, and only happened on rare occasions, so usually their meal was some sort of bread with a soup with washed-out veggies and a bean. On better days, it was rice or a noodle- those were the exciting days. If his mother played her cards right, they got an egg or a fruit. Those were rare though.

His mother worked extra hard to get them enough food. He was ten, but he already had an inkling of what his mother did to gain them excess (he'd found a book on sex about a year ago), and he admired what she did for them. He knew that even if it were just he, like the law said it was meant to be, she'd still work just as hard for him. His mother was the best person in the world; second only to his sister who he loved and felt a deep responsibility for like nothing else.

Bellamy was herded to an actual dining table where he had shiny plates and glasses that he'd never seen sparkle as much as he did now. Abby filled a glass with water, and he drank it all in one gulp. She chuckled a bit, and filled it again. Never-ending water, wow. Already, he was thoroughly impressed.

"I hope you like burgers. It was really some of the only meat I could get on short notice." Abby says, as they'd only made this dinner a reality a day or so ago.

"We'll eat anything." Aurora said, trying to make her voice light, "Bellamy's only had burger meat a few times, but likes it, right?" She said, nudging him. He nodded. He couldn't fully recall what that was, since if anything they got chicken for their protein, but he was very hungry and everything smelled good. Even if he didn't, he couldn't imagine turning down food.

A small part of him felt bad. He wished there was a way to take it home to his sister, she'd love this, he thought as his plate was loaded with more food than he'd get in a couple days' time. He glanced at his mother, but she was smiling as though this was commonplace for them. He wondered if she was doing this so they didn't stick out, their inadequacies were not compared, their poorness not obvious.

Bellamy was floored that he could have seconds and thirds, if he was hungry, Jake told him. His mother scolded him for shoving so much food into his mouth, but Jake just laughed and told Bellamy to eat as much as he wanted. Bellamy couldn't recall the last time he'd had so much to eat, and soon his bloated stomach felt sore. What truly surprised him was that the little girl Clarke ate as much as he did, keeping up with his pace. Abby tried to tell her daughter to stop and eater slower, or less, but Jake interjected again pointing out if Bellamy was going to eat until he was happy Clarke should too. This was, after all, a celebration dinner although Bellamy didn't know for what. What he did know was he already liked Clarke's father. His overall attitude was pleasing and comforting. Abby, he wasn't sure, but he wasn't going to be rude.

When Abby brought out a plate of chocolate squares, Bellamy wasn't sure if he could eat it.

"Brownie?" She asked, cutting the squares.

"I don't..." He mumbled, sniffing forward, "I've never-,"

"You've never had a brownie?" Clarke's voice was shocked, "Give him a big piece then, mom!" She demanded, and turned to him, smiling widely, "It's my favorite!"

He couldn't turn down the desert plopped into his hands and even though it hurt, he forced himself to eat it, licking the frosting off his fingers. It was quite good. His mother refused it, and Clarke had a piece almost as big as he did, but there was still a whole pan left.

"Well, we'll just wrap it up. You can take it." Jake said decisively. Aurora shook her head.

"I couldn't." She frowned, "I mean, you cooked it and bought it."

"Please, take it. Clarke does not need more brownies." Abby said, sending Clarke a teasing glance, "She'd eat the whole pan in a day."

"I always need more brownies!" Clarke protested.

"See?" Jake said.

Bellamy grinned in pleasure. He'd get to try those delicious treats again when his stomach wasn't so overfilled, but also this meant Octavia would get to try it. She was going to love it!

The plates were taken away, and Abby brought out a washcloth. Clarke had abandoned the table to go over to where there was a collection of mismatched chairs, but Bellamy lingered behind.

"Can I help at all?" He asked, trying to be polite like his mother had always taught him. He caught her proud glow at his words across the table. Abby seemed very surprised, even jumping a bit.

"No, of course not. You go play with Clarke. Let us clean up. Don't even worry about it." She said, handing a second cloth to Jake, "Clarke!" She called. Without saying anything else, Clarke jumped up, coming to stand in front of Bellamy. She rocked on her soles of her feet, hands clasp behind her back.

Bellamy's eyes surveyed the room. It was so clean and white, or in varying shades of beige, as compared to the grayness of his own section room. And books! His heart thud fast as he noticed a whole slew of books on the shelf that he'd never seen before. All he wanted to do was reach out and read them all, or at least start one and-

"Do you play chess?" Clarke interrupted his train of thought. His eyes snapped down to the girl, and his cheeks grew hot. He'd heard about the game that many people used to pass the time but...

"No, I haven't." He admitted.

"Well it's easy to learn." Clarke said, grabbing his hand and leading him to where a hodgepodge painted board covered in various small objects sat, "I had to find my own set." She said, seeing his eyes look at it. He paused; if a five-year-old could learn a game, surly it couldn't be that complicated?

"Okay." He agreed, sitting across from her, "Teach me."

Clarke's eyes lit up in sheer delight.

Back in the kitchen, where Abby was wrapping up the brownies in a cloth parcel bag and Jake was cleaning plates, Aurora tried to step in wherever she could to help, but Abby was firmly against it.

"Really, we're the hosts." She said, "Don't feel obligated."

Aurora had to admit she was surprised. She didn't think they'd be stuck up or pretentious, but everyone on the Alpha Station sort of had that air to them, regardless. It was mostly because few people truly got to know them, only in passing or when they were being punished. But the Griffins were a perfect family picture of love and humility.

"I really am so thankful for this." She said, holding up the bag of brownies that Abby put into her hand, "Bell will love them. But don't feel like you should give them to us, because if then-,"

"No." Jake said softly, stopping her, "We give it to you because that's what family does. And we will be one day, aren't we?" He pointed out, "Family helps each other."

Aurora couldn't find words. The gratitude and the full meaning of his words gave her unparallel hope for a better future for both of her children.

"I...does Clarke know?" She asked, changing the subject. They might have changed their minds for it was possible. More than once in the past couple days, Aurora was almost about to tell Bellamy.

"We don't want to tell her." Abby and Jake exchanged glances, "Why now? She's five. She doesn't need that sort of pressure on her. Also, we rather hoped...if we keep pushing them together...it would happen naturally?"

"Every parent wants their kid to fall in love with someone." Aurora agreed, "I wasn't sure if that was possible because of this, but Bellamy deserves better than what he can get where we are now." Her words were blunt, striking. Abby and Jake were suddenly painfully aware of their own privilege, "I won't tell him either. Maybe you're right. Maybe it will all work out."

"I think it will." Jake said, cutting the darkness of the conversation with a smirk, "I'm great at convoluted plans to bring people together. How do you think I managed to get this woman?" He questioned, and Abby and Aurora both laughed at his comment. All their unease around each other had seemed to melt away. They spent the next hour talking about their own children, asking questions about the other, eventually moving into the living room and sitting on the chairs near where Bellamy and Clarke were very determinedly playing each other in chess.

Bellamy did have to admit that chess was harder than he thought, but maybe also because Clarke had clearly had much time practicing. It took a couple times to get the movements right, but soon he found himself fully engrossed in the game and the strategy. And heck, for only being five, Clarke was almost a good match. More so than he liked to admit.

But in the back of his mind, he was always listening. It was something he'd picked up with always being paranoid his sister would be found out. He was cataloguing everything he heard in the posterior of his brain and processing it within the time span of him watching things in real time. It came in handy more than once, hearing the guard's footsteps before random checks, or people that didn't know how to knock before they entered houses. He realized, belatedly, that his mother seemed oddly interested in Clarke's life, and Clarke's parents about his. It was a strange back and forth between the two, and the way they talked...it wasn't quite all normal. Yet, Bellamy didn't know why and wasn't even sure if it was worth contemplating. Chalk it up to just another thing he didn't know yet, he supposed.

Soon, his mother realized they'd been out far too long (he hoped Octavia was alright) and they went to the door. The parents exchanged good-byes, ensuring in earnest that this would happen again soon, before they were leaving. Clarke waved to him, already yawning, and Bellamy managed a nod. His mind was whirling.

As he walked back to his own Station, he wondered if this was not unlike the way his mother went away with the guardsmen captain every so often and then they suddenly had another portion of the broth? That he was indeed astute enough to recognize the feeling of a trade or agreement, but of what he couldn't possibly imagine.

In any other situation, he'd press to get the bottom of it. He was fed by the thirst for knowledge, to know things, quite constantly and liked being in the center of being filled in. But today, he felt his convictions drop away until he saw he'd lost the will to care if it was. If he was being entirely honest, it was for purely selfish reasons. He'd loved the food there, the feeling with Clarke's parents, playing chess with Clarke (which came down to playing a refined game with a friend he already wondered if they also appreciated his sense of awe for classical things) and the endless books lining the shelf. If he wanted at all to ever go back there to be able to eat such good food again and read those books, he would do best not to poke around at the underlying reasons. It likely was too good to be true but this was one fairy tale that Bellamy- who often never got enough food to keep his stomach satisfied, already knew every book at his own place by memory, sometimes felt a little alone even with two family members that weren't the same as friends- never wanted end.

So, Bellamy Blake did the first selfish thing he'd done since he could remember...he let his feelings on the matter go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wasn't that just the most adorable thing you've ever read? Ahh...
> 
> Next chapter you get to meet some of the other couples ;) There will be QUITE a few familiar faces!
> 
> Remember to leave a review!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's almost been two weeks! I'm in the middle of my exam period and I'm actually updating this during a time during my class where most people are doing evals and I don't have the mountain other other assignments due in front of me. So...
> 
> But that last episode, oh my god. I actually cried when I saw them all being loaded onto the Drop ship. It was weird looking at all of them not knowing each other and thinking that they had no idea what they'd become to one another...I like the ark flashbacks :) But at the same time I have so much fun making my own rules about what it was like on the Ark in this story, I don't want the canon to ruin it XD

School had a three-week break, unannounced, which was a very strange thing indeed. Clarke didn't find the occurrence strange, as she'd only been in school about six months. Even Bellamy didn't find it odd, since he'd only been there five years. He did hear however, the murmurings and the discussion that there hadn't ever been this long of a school break in well, ever.

Everyone knew vaguely that back on earth, there were long breaks from school periods called 'vacations'. On the ark, it was a rather illogical sort of thing to allow-everyone was needed to work their jobs almost always because there weren't all too many people but far too many jobs, there wasn't anywhere to take your family on vacation even if you did get a long break, and they found that children that had a long time to do nothing usually got into trouble-and unfortunately, if you got into trouble here, something ended up breaking and could threaten life of the Ark, you ended dead, or you ended up in the Skybox. Therefore, the only weekends were allowed to children, and the only way to opt out of school was to take on apprentices around the sixteenth year, and into an actual profession by seventeenth.

So, the three weeks were unprecedented and taken with much apprehension. There were a couple of children caught, but they were the stupid ones anyway, but most kids were so confused by the weeks off and no comment from Jaha and were extremely cautious. It likely wouldn't ever happen again, but the children could hope.

There wasn't much change on the outside to the children when they came back, but all the teachers had been sworn under an oath about the pairs made with instructions to observe them together and report back, for no one was with these children more than the teachers. The only obvious change to the students was that some kids got switched around (pairs put in the same room if they happened to be in the same class rank) but this happened occasionally, so no one really considered it. Even if they'd heard their parents talk about the pairs in gossip once, it would have been impossible for them to guess who was together anyway.

Also, after-school groups were set up in old classrooms. Clarke was thrilled to go to one, because this meant more time with other people instead of sitting alone in her room. She was very happy to find Wells with her in this special after-school group. She'd known he'd be going to one, but there were five different rooms he could have been assigned to. She also recognized a couple other children from the Alpha station. She dropped her book bag by the door and bounced over to where her best friends were sitting.

Bellamy's mother also told him he was going into a group, met with hesitance and protesting. She'd seemed to switch her opinion about Bellamy having friends quickly within the last couple weeks, something he found to be very strange. Now that he had the opportunity to meet other people, maybe form a bond with a couple guys his own age, he wasn't even sure if he wanted to. He'd actually much prefer to be back in his room, reading Octavia a book (or quietly reading to himself, if he was really lucky that day).

He found himself frozen in the threshold of the room he'd been assigned to, because apparently this after-school thing was wildly popular, and saw a sea of about thirty or so heads between the ages of five and maybe twelve or thirteen; all he knew, not much older than he. Even with all these people, fear and a sense of loneliness when he realized he didn't truly know a single face. He saw a couple he'd seen during class, but he'd never made an effort to get to know them, for fear of them finding out his darkest secret. He was about to turn around and go home, tell his mom he was feeling really sick, when a blonde child stuck her head among the throng of kids.

"Bell!" Clarke's whole face lit up, and he instantly felt a tiny bit better. In the three weeks since the first dinner at her place, he'd been over two more times, once for a lunch, and once to watch a movie he'd never seen with her family. Both times had been incredibly pleasant experiences. He'd grown to like the can-do little girl, although he still wasn't sure why they'd been introduced as friends in the first place, "Bell, over here!" She was waving wildly.

He got a few odd looks, being called over by not only a girl five years his junior but also the Alpha Princess herself, but it was better than sitting alone because he didn't know anyone else. Clarke didn't even seem to notice the looks. He wondered if it was because she was too young to register it or she simply didn't care.

There were two kids sitting with Clarke, two boys around her age, and one girl. One was a boy with slightly tanned skin and an old comic book in his fingers, and a ratty and oversized beanie slipping down over his eyes. Every couple seconds, he'd push it back on his scalp when he couldn't see, only for it to slide back down moments later. The other kid had dark skin, and was watching Bellamy with narrowed eyes. The girl was pitifully small, and had the palest skin Bellamy had ever seen. It was nearly translucent. She had so many freckles on her face, it was though someone had dumped a year's ration of pepper on her cheeks, and her eyes were an deep brown color that seemed to look right through him, but at the same time she was just staring at the wall. Her hair was a light strawberry color.

Clarke grabbed his shoulder and sat him down forcefully. She did that a lot, he noticed. It was obvious she liked to be in charge. Neither of the boys found it strange, therefore, he figured she must be like this with them too.

"This is my friend Bellamy, guys! I met him a couple weeks ago. He's from the Factory Station." She said it so casually, with no hint of disgust or pity like the usual Alpha Station people he met. The kid with the beanie nodded to him, and the dark-skinned boy just narrowed his eyes more. Clarke didn't notice either reaction.

"Bellamy, this is Nathan Miller, but everyone just calls him Miller so you should too. And this," She pointed to the other boy who was still watching him, "Is my bestest friend in the whole world. His name is Wells."

She didn't say his last name, but she didn't have to. With a jolt, Bellamy realized he was sitting across the table from the Chancellor's son. He'd never felt so star-struck in his life.

"They're both from Alpha station, where I live." Clarke added, although neither surprised him. Obviously Wells would live in Alpha station, and Bellamy had gleaned Miller's housing assignment from the comic book he held. Only the wealthy could afford things like that. Besides, most kids stayed friends with kids from their area. Although he wouldn't put it past Clarke to be friends with people from all over, it made more sense they grew up around each other.

"And this is Bree! I don't know her very well. Wells brought her over, but she seems really nice." She assured, as though Bellamy was possibly worried Clarke was introducing him to a killer or something, "You're from Mecha, right?"

The girl only nodded, and it was hardly a nod at that, but Clarke seemed pleased with herself.

The rest of the day was spent with the four of them taking turns playing each other in chess; Bree shook her head every time someone offered her a turn, just watched. Wells was remarkable; he could see the moves before anyone made them, it seemed. He sniggered at Bellamy after loosing once, which Bellamy did have to admit, was humiliating for him. Not only did he loose to the most powerful kid on the ark, he lost to a 5-year-old. He wasn't going to say anything, but Clarke turned to Wells angrily.

"Don't be so mean, Wells!" She sniffed, a deeply disappointed tone in her voice, "Bellamy had never played before. I only taught him a couple weeks ago! Of course you'll be better than he is. You're not going to make friends by laughing at them."

Wells seemed almost guilty at her words, offering a muttered apology to Bellamy. Miller chuckled.

"Three weeks. They've been teaching me forever and I still suck."

"You'll get it eventually, Miller." Clarke assured. She was always so sure of everything.

"I don't care if I never do." Miller seemed unconcerned, "I like watching you two play it." He motioned to Wells and Clarke.

Clarke almost said something else, but Wells had already re-set the board.

At the end of the day one, Bellamy was more impressed than everyone by Clarke's spunkiness. There was just something about her that intrigued him, made him curious to see what she'd be like years from now, when she was his age or older. He wondered if they'd still be friends (or whatever they were now) by that time.

Bree was…well, silent. He thought she'd maybe said a singular word the entire time. She always seemed to be on the lookout, as if something awful was coming. Her eerie stare made him feel uncomfortable.

He liked Miller a lot. The kid was so unassuming, but so easy-going. He took all of Clarke's lecturing, he hardly responded to Wells' comments, and he was truly nice to Bellamy. Just like Clarke, it seemed he couldn't care less where a kid came from.

Wells, though?

As Bellamy walked back to his house after the day was dismissed, he couldn't help but replay the movement of the boy's eyes. He was ever watching, trying to connect two impossibly shaped puzzle pieces. Like Bellamy suspected, Wells clearly knew that there was something odd going on, but didn't know what. He was astute enough to realize that changes like this don't happen without reason, without an end game. Whatever it was, even he didn't know, his father wasn't telling him. Bellamy couldn't figure out if that was a good thing or a bad thing; because, granted, Wells was five and there was a whole lot that a five-year-old didn't need to know.

But did he like the kid, even though he appreciated his seemingly intuitive feelings that neither Clarke nor Miller seemed to have? He wasn't sure. The fact that he knew something was up was possibly the only thing Bellamy could figure out about him, even after observing him for an hour and a thing was obvious though, and that was he looked at Clarke like she was the sun and the moon. It was a little nauseating. Clarke hardly seemed to notice. To Bellamy, he couldn't imagine Clarke ever liking a guy like that (when that would start to happen, of course. She was a little young now), because Clarke needed someone that matched her strength and fury. Wells simply did not have that fire, or at least, not yet.

He wasn't sure it was something you could learn though.

He saw Dax leaving the same room at the end of the time, and very specifically stayed far away from him. They came from the same station and their mothers ran around the same 'circle' but Bellamy couldn't stand him. His mother was arrogant and obnoxious, and Dax was exactly the same. He waited until the redhead was out of sight to begin walking back home.

"You live in the Factory Station?" A quiet voice asked behind him. He turned to see a small blonde boy looking around nervously.

"Yeah, you?" He asked, although he was pretty sure he'd seen him bouncing around the halls where he lived.

The boy nodded. "I don't know the way back. Usually my friend walked with me…she's not in a group, though." He admitted.

Bellamy scrutinized him. He seemed far too small to be in school as it was.

"How old are you?"

"I'm going to be five in a month!" He said, and Bellamy nodded to himself with understanding. Schools took every kid from a singular year, such as year 2116 for example, instead of the antiquated way of doing it over a September to a September like the ground people had. He'd forgotten that when school started up again, it was also a new year.

"Well, come with me. I'll help you find your home." He sighed, "I'm Bellamy Blake."

"My name is Grennon." He said, cautiously coming to Bellamy's side.

"Got a last name?" More often than not, Factory Station homes were arranged by last name, or at least by letter. With so many of them, it was the most practical way to organize the station.

"Lee."

"Okay, Grennon Lee. Just…follow me." He said. It didn't take long to find the Lee Household, and his mother thanked him profusely, admitting she'd forgotten his usual buddy wouldn't be with him. He told her it was no problem, and, he'd be glad to walk the kid home on the days they both had the group together. Something about his big liquid eyes reminded Bellamy of Octavia.

Speaking of which, Octavia was waiting anxiously for him when he returned.

"Tell me about it! What about Clarke?" She demanded before he hardly had time to latch the door closed.

"She's been so excited to hear." Aurora said from where she was mending a jacket. Bellamy looked back to Octavia; she was always excited. She didn't have any other way to meet people except from what Bellamy described of the outside, and he couldn't fault her for being curious. Any usual five-year-old would have nearly canvassed the Ark in their natural curiosity by this point, but Octavia was stuck here.

"Well," He said, settling in, "I met some new people- Miller and Wells and Bree, just to name a few." He noticed his mother's sharp stare when he said the second name, but he ignored it, "They're Clarke's friends...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AWW BABY DELINQUENTS!
> 
> Hope you like that! Please remember to leave a review and kudos! I promise to get the next chapter out on time next week!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, new update :)
> 
> So I am officially done with my second year of college! I did like totally nothing today. Such an odd feeling, to have all this time without having to be stressing about an assignment or this or that...now to just wait for my grades. Mhhh...those...

As it turned out, through Clarke, Bellamy met many new 'friends', some friendlier than others. Wells was always seemingly unsure of him, and that was perfectly fine because Bellamy wasn't sure about him at all either. His father was trying to do good things, but trying and doing were two very different ideas. They did bond over one thing, though. It the mutual acceptance that they were perhaps some of the few that were curious what had made this change- the after school groups, changing up of classrooms, and ect- occur. They both had noticed people they didn't know staring at them in the halls. For Wells, that might be normal enough, but people looking at Bellamy and whispering was a whole different matter entirely.

While he had soon figured out that there were a total of 44 of them in this room, and he did learn all their names by the second year, there were a couple ones that he saw or talked to more than others.

There was Raven, a girl with even more fire than Clarke (he didn't think that was possible) who had black hair that was never combed down properly and was notorious for taking things apart and almost putting them back together. She was getting better at it, granted.

There was John Murphy (Murphy, there were too many Johns to call by their first names), who Bellamy had no real reason to dislike, but he couldn't like him because his whole body told him something was off although he was a perfectly nice kid, if not a little grumpy. He was young and sarcastic to the bone. Sometimes, Bellamy got the impression the kid was following him around, copying him. It did flatter Bellamy that anyone would want to emulate him.

There was Monty who had snuck his best friend Jasper into the group because they'd been separated and they were firmly best friends who wouldn't leave each other behind. There was better food and toys here, so naturally, Monty insisted Jasper migrate to this group. His stubborn sense of loyalty and protectiveness toward his friend reminded Bellamy of his sister, so he helped Monty (along with Miller, Clarke, Raven, Wells, and sometimes even Monty) to hide Jasper from anyone finding out. It had been years now, and he was pretty sure the attendee was turning a blind eye, but officially, no one could know he was the 45 person.

There were three girls- Harper, Monroe, and Roma- that all stuck together in a clump and he wasn't even sure if they had defined personalities yet. He remembered Roma best of all, but only because she had a stupid puppy dog crush on him which he found to be increasingly annoying. He avoided her at all costs.

He made some of his own friends too, and some were even his own age. There was Benny, Hendrick, and Brad- he went to their houses pretty often, and they never seemed bothered he didn't invite them back to his. He hung out with Clarke far more often, though, so perhaps they just weren't good enough friends to expect that of him. Either way, sometimes it was nice to have guys going through his classes he could sit with during the day, instead of alone like he once had.

As much as he liked having friends, as it were (most of them were his sister's age), the guilt and nervousness about leaving his sister alone while he was here always made him a little on edge. Some days he was more acutely aware of these feelings than others. He felt bad that he got to experience all this and she just couldn't.

To be perfectly honest, he enjoyed the nights with Clarke's family much better. He never understood their partnership, and why his mother wasn't equally encouraging him over to Miller or Brad's houses or whatnot, but he didn't want to complain. About once a month, he'd go over there (sometimes with his mom, often not now that he was growing up) and they'd cook for him and he'd spend it with Clarke the rest of the night. It was easier to relax here than in the after school group, although he couldn't imagine why that might be.

Once Wells brought up the idea of figuring out what was going on to Bellamy-three years of both of them trying to figure it out, and Wells finally had an idea. He caught Bellamy alone as the class let out. Miller had left early that day, having to go home to help his father with something. Clarke was off somewhere else with Bree. He didn't dislike Bree after all these years, but honestly she'd given them all so little it was hard to form much of an opinion of her. She had her big doe eyes that seemed liquid and it seemed she might start crying at anything that was said...she was mousy, and that was fine and dandy, but Bellamy already knew they had perhaps two things in common and they'd both exhausted both topics within knowing each other. He couldn't imagine what Clarke might have to talk with her about, but maybe it was 'girl things' he wouldn't be interested in anyway.

He brought his attention back to Wells, who was starting to explain his plan.

"If there's anything to know, it will be in my dad's office." He said knowingly.

"Why tell me?" Bellamy asked, eyes narrowed, "Can't you just go in there?"

"Unlikely. He always keeps it locked when he's not in there. The only way I see getting into his files is a distraction while someone sneaks in."

The reason Bellamy had been invited to a movie party at Wells' house that following night was now obvious.

"So you want me to raid the Chancellor's private desk?"

"No." Wells said, and Bellamy honestly felt relieved, "I'm doing that. I'll only get a little bit in trouble if he finds me. Clarke would kill me if I got you locked away in the Sky Box." He said it so casually, and Bellamy had to restrain his twitching jaw. People like him got locked away for less, and he never wanted to be there. If he got in trouble, he knew it wouldn't be long before his sister was discovered and his mother was floated.

"So I have to make a distraction." Bellamy still didn't like this idea, "Why can't Clarke help you? Your dad likes her."

"She doesn't believe there's anything going on." Wells said, "She thinks all of this," He pointed back to the room, "Is just...natural." He grunted, unable to find words, "You're one of the only ones that Clarke trusts, and therefore I do-not much though, and that thinks there's more to this whole situation than we're being told."

"You don't trust your father?" To this day, it still surprised Bellamy. Wells was shoe-in to be Chancellor one day himself, and he was the crowned king of the Ark. The very idea that he'd have so little faith in his own father was startling.

Then again, Bellamy understood. He never even knew his dad, so he had little reason to respect or believe any older man's authority.

"I know that sometimes a chancellor must do what's best for the people, not for his family." Wells' answer was guarded, but it was good enough for Bellamy.

"Fine. What do you expect me to do?" Bellamy asked.

"Nothing big. Wait until my dad's in the study, and then spill your drink on the floor. Spill someone's. Accidents happen. Clarke will undoubtedly go get him, and I'll trail after and slip in when he comes out to help matters." Wells decided.

"Okay." He agreed.

Clarke had peeled away from Bree at this point, waving good-bye and saying she'd bring something to Wells' place that night, and bounded up between the two boys.

"What are you talking about?" She asked, hope glimmering in her eyes. She knew it was obvious the pair tolerated each other, for no particular reason, and Bellamy understood she hoped perhaps they were becoming friends.

Wells gave him a glance mirroring his own thoughts; unlikely. But neither said that, instead Wells smiled at Clarke.

"Just talking about chess and how he can stop being such a wimp, you know, win against me one day, if he's lucky." Wells whole demeanor changed around Clarke. It was barf-worthy.

"Yeah, sure. I'd better get going." Bellamy said swiftly, "I'll see you two tonight." He nodded, and went back to his room.

That night, twelve children piled into the Chancellor's living room. Well, Bellamy wouldn't say 'piled' since they all fit quite comfortably, and there could have been room for maybe two or three more. There was Bree, Clarke, Wells (obviously), himself, Raven, Murphy and Jasper, Miller, Murphy, Ana Woloshcuck, Brad Grahn, Benny Edl, and Leslie Hettrick- all people from their 'after school group'. Obviously by three years now he knew everyone fairly well, and no one was outright mean to one another, but there for sure groups that were closer to certain people than others. They didn't have much of an opportunity to talk to people that weren't in their after school group, and Bellamy didn't see much point. He had all the friends he required right there.

"Let's get this party fucking started." Benny said as he plopped himself on the couch, grabbing the popcorn bowl from Clarke's hands while she glared.

"Don't swear. You're in the Chancellor's house!" She sounded horrified. Plus, she was only 8, and eight year olds hardly swore as it was. Thirteen year olds didn't swear much either, unless you knew how to. Benny's father 'swore like a sailor', his mum said, which was an extremely antiquated phrase Bellamy didn't much understand.

"Shit, sorry. I mean, crap?" He looked at Bellamy, "Is that considered a swear word?"

"No, Ben. But, maybe…stop talking?" Ana chuckled. Everyone knew he had the dirtiest mouth out of all the 45 kids, teaching even the supervisors that checked in sporadically some new terms they'd never encountered before. Word was he knew how to say at least one swear word in every language that still existed, and then some. Admittedly, Bellamy hadn't helped the cause by helping him swear in Greek and Latin. But, shhh, his mom doesn't know that he knows those sorts of naughty words. He didn't hear it from Bellamy, if he was ever asked.

"Hey everyone." Jaha greeted the children as he came from the kitchen with a couple bowls of snacks, snacks that kids like Bellamy or Ana only got when they turned a specific special age like thirteen or sixteen or something. All the kids became instantly stiffer, muttering greetings, except for Wells, Clarke, Nathan, Bree, and Murphy (only because Murphy hardly respected any authority figure as it was). He waved them goodnight, and turned into his study, the door locking with a distinctive 'click'.

Halfway through the movie, Wells caught Bellamy's eyes and nodded. Bellamy had placed his own drink precariously close to the edge, and also close enough to Clarke's and Jasper's that if he just...he threw his body forward as Jasper reached for his glass, causing him to knock all three of theirs onto the floor.

"Darn it." Jasper's face turned ashen, "I didn't mean to Wells, I swear."

"It was just an accident! I'm sure Chancellor Jaha won't be mad. Not if we clean it up right away. We should tell him." Clarke was quick to comfort him, and of course, had a plan.

Right as Wells had predicted, she jumped up after setting their now-empty glasses back upright, knocking bravely on Jaha's study door. Wells was a shadow behind her, and no one seemed to notice, everyone petrified the next thing they'd see was the four gloomy walls of a Sky Box cell.

"Everyone, relax." Jaha almost laughed, "It was an accident, an one that is easily fixed." He said, "Clarke, Nathan, come get the cleaning supplies with me? Jasper, you can refill the glasses." He said. Bellamy shot a glance behind them to see Wells' figure disappearing into his father's study as the door closed softly behind him.

Wells returned right before his father finished, slipping back by Bree with an emotionless look on his face. Bellamy tried to catch his eyes all night, but the boy was very quietly avoiding his looks. It wasn't until the next day of after-school session that he managed to pin Wells alone.

"Well, Wells?" He questioned.

"I found nothing." Wells muttered to the floor.

"It sure doesn't seem like you found nothing." Bellamy scrutinized him, "You wouldn't be acting like that otherwise."

"There was literally nothing. I'm acting like this because I'm trying to accept we might be wrong, that maybe it is nothing. Maybe we're over thinking it." Wells snapped, pushing away from Bellamy.

"Like bull." Bellamy snorted, "You know something, and you're not even going to tell me? I should have known better." He stalked away, angry and upset for trusting Wells.

He dropped the subject, and just hoped Wells would eventually feel guilty enough to tell him or it would slip out, but it never did. He did start looking at Clarke differently, a pronounced sense of longing even though she still existed right in front of him. Yet it was as though he felt she was too far away for him to touch, and every glance at her for months after the incident was pained. He looked at Bree with similar eyes too. He glared at Bellamy, but this, of course, was not out of the ordinary at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I realize we've had mostly chapters from Bell's POV, but that's just because Clarke's so young her story probably wouldn't be very interesting XD But we will start to get some now that we're beginning to move through the ages of the children in some of the next chapters and all.
> 
> Below I have a list of all the children in the program. I already have the couples planned out of course, but I'd be interested to hear who you think are going to end up being together? There's quite a lot of OCs just because I didn't think it would be reasonable for ALL of them to be from the Sky Box. So, if you don't recognize a name, it's likely an OC!
> 
> BOYS: Bellamy, Lazurus, Wells, Aloysuis, Miller, Benny, Murphy, Marten, Monty, Hendrick, Dax, Grennon, Atom, Mat, Sterling, Tom, Simon, Karl, Armin, Toby, Keshawn, Brad
> 
> GIRLS: Clarke, Bree, Harper, Raven, Monroe, Trina, Roma, Fox, Sarah, Felice, Ana, Zahira, Marisha, Jovana, Uma, Kran, Cadence, Leslie, Caylie, Stasia, Teal, Jezelia
> 
> Of course Jasper, Octavia, and Finn are other kids that will make appearances in the story, but they're not in the official 'group'. Remember to leave a review!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry this is a little later than I originally promised, which isn't because I didn't have it written (I did) but just because I've been at home with my family and transitioning from living in my college town and back into my hometown. Anyway, I'm sorry it's shorter- especially since it's been so long. But the one after this, and the one after that are really long!

Of the three years thus so far that Clarke had known Raven, she'd never met either of her parents. It was the oddest thing, since Clarke was sure she was at her best friend's house fairly often.

She knew, somewhere, that Raven didn't have a dad. It was not uncommon for people to be without dads, having a father somewhere but not wherever they were, but it wasn't an occurrence Clarke became aware of until after she left the safety bubble of the Alpha station. Most kids there had a mom and a dad, or a dad and a dad, or a mom and a mom. Well, they had parents, and she never imagined there was something beyond that, until she'd met Bellamy, who didn't have a dad either. Wells didn't have a mom, but that's because she died, not because she wasn't there. Clara Wells was a bright face on the photographs, a happy memory around the house, always talked about with a smile. In this way, Clara was still there.

She wondered where Raven's dad went often, but Raven never talked about it, so Clarke didn't want to ask.

She knew that Raven had a mom, but Clarke had never actually met her. She'd seen her shadow lumbering drunk about, or watched her figure under a pile of dirty blankets shift in sleep, but never once had she talked to the person that birthed Raven. Raven never talked about her either and didn't ever seem concerned by the fact that most times Clarke was over her mother was missing. Perhaps it did bother her, but she was far too used to it.

That's when Clarke realized she was not only gifted in the way that she was born into a life where her parents were important enough to get whatever they needed, but more than that, she was born into a life where she knew both her parents loved her unconditionally. Raven didn't have either of those things, but yet, Clarke never felt she was weak because of it. Perhaps she liked Raven so much because the girl taught her so much about life that Clarke merely had never taken the time to think of before.

One day they were playing at Raven's house and Raven was showing Clarke one of her newest inventions. Raven had stood on her tip-toes to tuck it back into the hidey-hole she'd dug out so her mother didn't take her inventions apart to trade it for whatever she traded it for, and turned to say something to Clarke. The item came tumbling down, having not been put away fully, and the next thing Clarke knew, blood was welling on Raven's scalp. It just wouldn't stop bleeding. Clarke had seen her mother deal with situations like this all the time, so she didn't worry or panic, but calmly brought Raven (who was freaking out just a little) to her mother. It was really deep, and it needed stitches.

"I should call your mother. She'll want to know what happened and how to best take care of you. You need to be careful for a bit, Raven." Abby said, reaching for the comms.

"She won't respond." Raven said, gingerly touching her scalp, "Call Mrs. Collins instead."

Abby paused, mouth hanging open, looking for Clarke for an explanation. Clarke didn't spend a whole lot of time talking about the lives of her new friends, especially Raven, because she was under the impression it was Raven's life to share.

"Her mom isn't around a lot, and when she is she's...sleeping." Clarke didn't want Raven to be taken away from her home, especially when she knew how good Mrs. Collins was to her.

"My mom works a lot." Raven said, a lie it seemed she had used more than once, swinging her legs on the table, "Mrs. Collins takes care of me during the day."

"Oh, sure." Abby seemed hesitant, but called the number nonetheless, and soon it was the next-door neighbor bustling into the medi-bay with her son trailing behind her. Finn came up to Raven, worried, and Raven brushed his concerns off. Clarke had gotten to know Finn very well; he was Raven's best friend (tied with her, she liked to think). He always was giving her extra food and making sure she was happy. He lived next to her and understood her problems in a way Clarke never could, and for this, Clarke was grateful he was around.

Abby attempted to contact Raven's mother next, but to no success. She tried four times, all reaching an empty tone and no one on the other side of the comms. It seemed no one knew where she was either.

Raven was instructed not to tumble around but to be very cautious for the next couple weeks while the wound healed over, to come back to Abby every week to check on the progress. Mrs. Collins settled Raven into her own bed in her unit, and she and Finn went out to get some dinner. Clarke offered them some of her extra coins she kept on her, because after getting ten stitches, Raven deserved something worth her while.

When they were alone, Clarke couldn't help but feel tears spring to her eyes. Which was silly, since she wasn't the one who'd gotten hurt and seemingly spilled half her blood over the floor.

"Clarke, what's wrong?" Raven asked, almost going up to scratch her head, but pulled back at the last second.

"I just...you don't have much of anyone." Clarke felt guilty for living in a place with a mom and a dad who would drop everything if she got a paper cut, where Raven's own mom couldn't be found when her daughter was bleeding onto the floor. It was moments like these that Clarke wondered why someone had kids, if they were just going to ignore them. She wanted Raven to be loved because Raven deserved to be loved, and it angered her that her mother didn't, "No family, Raven."

It was the first time she'd brought it up to her.

Raven stared at her, confused for a second, before laughing a bit-not the response Clarke had been expecting.

"Of course I have a family." Raven said very matter-o-factly, "It's just not the one you think."

"What do you mean?"

"I have Mrs. and Mr. Collins and Finn, I know they'll always look after me. I have you and Jasper and Monty and Bellamy, and you guys are always giving me extra food or making sure I have enough when Bellamy doesn't have that much himself, he still gives more. I even have Murphy." She said. Clarke frowned.

"Murphy?" She didn't dislike him, she just noticed that around everyone his natural reaction was to go on the defense, and she didn't think it was possible for him to connect with anyone other than his slightly weird admiration of Bellamy.

"I know, he's grumpy, but I'm grumpy too and so we can stand each other." She shrugged, "He doesn't bring me food or clothes that don't fit him like you guys do, but he walks me to class everyday, now that Finn and I are in different classes. He and Finn even get along, I think."

"That's...nice of him." Clarke gave a low chuckle, figuring if anyone could deal with Murphy, it was Raven, "I guess you do have a family."

Like Clarke thought, Raven was always making her challenge what she thought she knew.

That was the day that Clarke learned a family didn't mean just a pair of parents and a baby, but it meant those that looked out for you and loved you. She'd always been upset that she didn't have cousins, aunts, or uncles like the people in some of the old books she'd read about did. She was upset she couldn't have a little sibling, that her family was so contained in itself, just a little pod. But if she thought about what Raven said, which she found herself doing quite often in the years to come, perhaps she had more of a family than she'd thought.

Years later, she'd muse upon how lucky it was that her mother hadn't done anything about Raven's situation. If perhaps Clarke had not been so adamant about taking care of her friend, or she'd just been another person that Clarke didn't know at all, Raven's fate may have ended much differently. If there was an inquiry about her mother, chances were her mother would be deemed unfit and slapped with a child endangerment felony, and that would lead to Raven's mom being floated.

That would have left Raven as an orphan, and orphans upon the Ark were not a well-off group. While it wasn't illegal to adopt an orphan even if you already had a kid, since you weren't the one that birthed them, most family units only had room for three. It was, in most families' cases, unsustainable to take on another mouth to feed or find a place for them to sleep. Those that could take on another kid usually could only take on one, and there were far more orphans than parents that could take them in. Sometimes these orphans ended in the Skybox, nowhere else to put them. Sometimes, these orphans laid low under the radar, underfed and underclothes, sleeping out in service tunnels and begging for their next meal. They often had to resort to crime and this ended them up in the Skybox, and that always led to being floated at 18.

Clarke knew Raven was resourceful, but even the best of people got beaten down eventually, and she didn't want to imagine what it would have been like otherwise. Raven had a mom-a shitty one- but her mom did her singular job and kept Raven somewhat safe.

As much as Clarke hated her, she sometimes felt the need to thank her for that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this story has given me a really interesting way on deciding how I think the way things on the ARK would go, and we'll get more into this into later chapters. This, the discussion on orphans, is just a small part of it. I suppose that this story-although mostly Bellarke- is so much more than just that.
> 
> I think this story also is beginning to show you at least one more ship ;) I pretty much ship Raven with almost everyone- Raven/Wells, Raven/Monty, Raven/Jasper, Raven/Rowan, Raven/Murphy, but I can only really see Murphy with Raven. Tho I was so happy in the season finale to see my trash baby so darn happy :) I can ship his happiness.
> 
> BTW, if anyone wants to discuss their thoughts about the final with me, I'd totally be into it.
> 
> Remember to review with thoughts and such!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost posted this early, because I'm back home and bored...don't get your hopes up, but I might start posting chapters every five or so days...hmm, we'll see!
> 
>  
> 
> I've also decided that at the beginning of each chapter I'll start writing 'x-many years after start of project' to help ground y'all where we are, since now we're starting to see one or two events per year going to happen.

Four Years After Start of Project

He was fourteen and she was nine the night he received one of the best gifts from them. He often told Clarke all the stories and histories he'd told Octavia. It was really cool to be able to tell them twice, to a person who didn't complain she'd heard them all already. And Clarke always seemed to focus on his words, trying to memorize it. She was always curious where he knew it from, and he brought the singular book that held a couple of myths he owned, and explained the rest his mom taught him.

It was his fourteenth birthday, although he was already surprised Clarke and her family remembered, and Clarke was hiding something from behind her back when the two settled onto the couch after dinner to watch a soccer game or play chess.

"Happy birthday." She said, thrusting a gift into his lap. He picked it up. It was a battered copy, but still a fully copy (as far as he could tell) of Ovid's Metamorphosis. He'd heard his mother describe the book, but to her knowledge, all copies had been destroyed. If anyone were to ever want the metaphorical goldmine of myths, this was it. He'd been asking around about it for years, but everyone either had no idea what he was talking about, or told him it hadn't survived.

"Where did you...how...I..." He clutched the book, staring between it and Clarke with wide eyes.

"Sarah Helm." Clarke said, naming a girl in their after-school group, "She can find anything on the Ark, you know." He hadn't known that, but obviously it was true, "I asked her about it a couple months ago. I'm glad she found it in time for your birthday."

"It must have cost a fortune." His head hung a little. Books were expensive, because few could own them. He would never have enough money to repay the favor to Clarke. The obvious gap in their financial lives were oh-so-clear in moments like this, and remembered where he was and, more importantly, who he was, especially in comparison to her.

"Bell, don't even think of the money. We wanted to." She looked at her mom and dad, who were hiding to see his reaction, "I mean, you're my other best friend, besides Wells."

"Really?" He asked, tilting his head. She seemed quite chummy with everyone she met. And they wouldn't have ever become friends if their parents hadn't set them up with whatever their goal was. Then again, perhaps her and Wells would have nothing to talk about if either of them were born outside the Alpha station. But still, to hear that she considered him a best friend was...an interesting development.

"Of course." She said, but offered no further explanation. Clarke's parents were grinning ear to ear, and he wasn't sure if it was the present or something else.

When he returned home, his mother was waiting for him.

"Happy birthday, baby." She said, kissing his head, "I'm sorry I couldn't get you a piece of cake this year." She said apologetically.

"S'fine." He murmured, "I had some at Clarke's."

An emotion flitted across his mother's face, one he couldn't quite place. On one hand, maybe she was pleased he had someone to give him what they couldn't afford, but he knew it must be killing her that she was incapable of providing things like that. She had her pride, and pride was hard to let go of.

Octavia picked the book from his jacket before he could stop her. Her hands were like a bandit; in fact he didn't even realize she'd taken it until she had it in her hands.

"Another book Clarke borrowed to you?"

"No, actually, it was my birthday gift. She gave it to me. She had one of our friends track the copy down." He said, and blushed a bit.

"So she took the effort to find it, it's not just a book she already owned?" His mother said, but he didn't know why this was something really significant.

"Yes?"

Both his mother and sister stopped what they were doing, and gave him wide cheesy grins that reminded him of the look Clarke's parents had given him.

"What?" He asked in confusion. Living with two women was never easy.

"Oh, nothing." His mother said, turning back to where she was sewing something, "Right, Octavia?"

"Yep. Nothing at all Bellamy." Octavia agreed, but her tone told him it was anything but.

"Give me that." He said, snatching it back, "Be careful with it, alright? You have to ask me before you use it. Not just that you 'forgot', really, ask me before you touch it again."

"Because it's from Clarke?" She said with that same grin.

"Because it was a gift." He said, trying to understand her look, "And I mean, yeah, because Clarke gave it to me."

For once in her life, Octavia hardly put up a fight. Usually anything that was his was automatically hers as well, but today she put up her hands.

"If that's what you want." She went back to where she was practicing sewing on some scraps of fabric, in the middle of making clothes for her doll.

"I do." Bellamy said, still studying her. It was not in her nature to just give up on something, even if she hated whatever she was fighting for. Bellamy didn't think this book would be up her style, but it was Octavia he was talking about. Her simple shrug about the matter unnerved him.

He decided not to think about it too much, or about the smiles his family gave him. Girls were weird, and he could spend his whole life trying to depicter their language, but at what gain? Instead, as he began to read each word carefully to fully appreciate his gift, he had made up his mind he had to one-up this gift. He had to find something better for Clarke's birthday.

Bellamy found Sarah the next day, in section. Although the girl was his age, and half his size, she had an air that terrified most people. Something about her laser gaze made her seem unapproachable, hardcore. She sat on a desk taking with Tom Haggard and Hendrick Horn, the two boys doing some homework, while she was preoccupied with something else.

As Bellamy approached, he saw she was stabbing herself with a little needle with something dark on it over and over methodically.

"What are you doing?" He asked, frowning.

"Tattooing myself." She said, thrusting her arm to Bellamy for him to see the start of an outline but he couldn't tell of what, "What did you think I was doing?"

Bellamy wouldn't have even been able to take a guess. He sort of knew what a tattoo was, and he also knew not many people had it. Not only was it frivolous, but also it was an infection hazard. While it wasn't necessarily illegal, it wasn't popular among most of the Ark citizens.

"Doesn't that hurt?" He asked, watching as beads of blood popped up as she tapped her skin with the needle. She gave a casual shrug.

"It's worth it." She put the needle down on the table, wiping away the excess ink and blood with a rag, holding her wrist to the light to see the progress, "Sup?"

"Oh, well, Clarke told me you got a book for her to give to me-," He began, and Sarah's eyes snapped to his.

"That book took me ages to find, Blake. If you don't bloody appreciate that I swear to the moon-,"

"No! I love it." He said, shaking his head, "I wanted to see if you couldn't find something for Clarke's birthday."

"Oh." Sarah relaxed, leaning back against the wall of the room.

"A journal, or I don't know, something she can draw on. She likes to do that." Although Clarke was only 9, Bellamy could already see she had artistic skills beyond that of a usual child.

"Journal, ouch. That might be tougher than a book." Sarah rubbed her chin. While books were kept upon the Ark, and mostly just passed hand-to-hand, when a journal was filled it was basically useless. It was an antiquated system of recording; most of the things done upon the Ark were done on a computer. Nevertheless, Bellamy was sure there had to be something floating around.

"I don't have a lot of money." He felt his cheeks blush red, "Not like Clarke's family had…" He admitted. He didn't want to get his hopes up and then have Sarah tell him she needed money they didn't own.

"Sarah, his mom's a seamstress!" Tom said, and a glance about something Bellamy didn't understand passed between the three, "Right?"

"The best." Bellamy said quickly. Sarah nodded softly.

"I think we'll be able to work something out then, Blake. Come with me to my place after this. I'll tell you what I want done." She said.

"Thanks." Bellamy breathed a sigh of relief, "So, uh, how did you find this?" He asked, taking his book from his bag.

"If I told you, I'd be out of business." Sarah said, chuckling. Bellamy nodded, returning to where Clarke sat.

"What was that about?" She questioned.

"Just thanking her for finding this." Bellamy said, setting the book on the table.

After section, he bid goodbye to his friends, following Sarah to her house in the Geo-Sci Station. It was second in luxury to the Alpha station, and not far from where Clarke lived. A lot of the most important workings of the Ark happened here, including meetings with the chancellor, and he felt a little self-conscious being here. He'd gotten used to the way Clarke's station felt, but this place felt so much less welcoming.

Sarah's house was only a smidgen smaller than Clarke's, although with far less items scattered about. He felt unsure, rocking on his heels in the doorway.

Sarah returned with a box of things, and opened it on her kitchen table. Beautiful scraps of clothing fell onto the hard wood, along with an assortment of mismatched beads in an old tin.

"You know Zahira, right?" Sarah asked.

"Of course." Bellamy said, a little offended. Zahira was another person in their after school class, and by this point, he knew everyone. He could even rattle off a few identifying qualities about each one, if someone asked him too. Sarah looked like she didn't believe him, so he sighed and said, "She's the vegetarian and the neat freak."

"Well, if you gotta be like that." Sarah huffed, but nodded, "Anyway, she's my best friend and she's from Power Station, you know?"

Power station was situated right in the middle of the hierarchy of the stations. It wasn't well off, but it wasn't good of either. It was just…there. The kids there got one and a half to two square meals a day, and sometimes had three to four pairs of outfits.

"Okay…?"

"Well, her family still does quinceaneras and she's my best friend. They were just going to re-use her mom's old dress but that one's pretty ugly and I've been saving this fabric and stuff for a special occasion and she should get her own dress. I found a needle to sew it myself, but I'm no good. If your mom makes her a beautiful dress, I'll find you that journal." She said, "You look surprised." She observed.

"I just…" Bellamy looked down, a little ashamed.

"You thought I was going to ask for something for myself, huh? That us upper-level people were snooty and arrogant and greedy? I thought you were better than that Bell, what with you and your little Alpha Princess."

"Don't call me Bell." He muttered, for only special people called him that. Then, a second later, realizing what she'd also said, felt his face grow hot, "And she's not my princess."

"Right. We have a deal?" Sarah didn't seem to care either way what he thought of Clarke. Sighing, he looked at the assortment of fabric.

"When is the party?"

"In two months, but I'd like to give it to her in like a month and a half."

Bellamy looked at the box she was handing to him. His mom was plenty busy as it was, he wasn't sure she had time to make a princess dress in that much time, but it was for Clarke. He'd help sew or help make ends meet somehow if he had to, but he'd hate himself if he didn't try to find Clarke the best birthday present ever.

"Okay." He agreed, taking the box, "I'll ask her."

He arrived home, and Octavia nearly tackled him.

"Is that from Clarke? What's that?" She asked, grabbing a strand of taffeta from the box. Bellamy snatched it back. Often, he came home from Clarke's with something new; a book neither of them had ever seen, extra food, a shirt Clarke no longer and was far past useful wore but knew his mother could use the extra fabric for. A lot of the time, he let Octavia take it if it was a gift, or read the book first. He felt it was only fair.

"You're late, Bellamy." His mother frowned, "You know you need to tell me if you make plans. Not that I mind, I jut want to know."

"I'm sorry." He ducked his head, "And no, it's not from Clarke." He set the box down on their cluttered table, and Octavia looked on with big eyes. His mother set aside the guard's uniform she was mending, raising an eyebrow.

"Mom…do you think you could maybe make a Quinceanera dress from the stuff here?" He asked quietly. He looked behind and saw his mom had a stack of things to mend or make nearly spilling off her bed. It was a long shot. His mom began to shift through the things.

"Theoretically, yes. These are high-class things. But Bellamy," She gave a long sigh, and he just knew she was going to say no.

"It's for Clarke." He blurted quickly, before she could tell him something he didn't want to hear, "Not exactly." He quickly told the deal Sarah had made with him.

"I feel bad. I have to get her something as nice as this." He picked up his copy of his new favorite book from his bed, "I don't know how else to get anything."

"For Clarke, of course I have the time." His mother's mood changed instantly, "I can make it work."

"Look, you don't have to say that." Bellamy felt guilty, and rubbed the back of his neck, "I can figure something else-,"

"No." His mom grabbed his wrists, "I will have time. It's just going to take some careful planning, but I will make the dress."

"If you're sure…"

"I am. You're right, Clarke deserves it something nice, and you should give it to her." Her smile was warm, but also held something familiar he'd grown used to after four years, but he didn't know what it was. It was an odd hope in her smile, a promise of something he didn't understand.

But he ignored it, because it might be some stupid girly thing anyway.

A month later, two weeks early, Bellamy smuggled a beautifully crafted dress to Sarah's house. She nodded with warmth when she saw it, and gave it to Zahira during section that day. Zahira cried so hard that she couldn't even find the words to thank her friend and everyone insisted she try it on.

"Your mom made that." Clarke observed when she twirled about the room, "I know the sorts of things she makes."

"She did." Bellamy said, looking at her.

Clarke's face broke into a relaxed smile, "It's so wonderful. I hope one day I could own something as beautiful as that."

Bellamy had a feeling if she ever asked his mom, she wouldn't hesitate to make her something too.

Within three days, Sarah had found him a mostly unused journal, still with a handful of clean pages. As an extra thank you, she also managed to find some stubs of colored pencils.

"I've never seen my friend so happy." Sarah said, although Bellamy wasn't sure why she was inviting him into her thoughts, but he found more and more people telling him things lately, "You did good, Blake."

On Clarke's birthday, his gift was the star of the party. She insisted that he sit down and let her draw him in the first page. He objected a lot, because in his mind there were so many better things to draw than his face, but Clarke was extremely firm about it and made him sit for a whole two hours while she painstakingly sketched his profile.

Clarke was the type of person to draw with or on anything, he had realized. And she did, often. Whatever she could sketch a faint outline on, she'd do. She only used the journal he gave her on rare occasions for her best work. She pulled it out sparingly, perhaps once a year, and it was always a masterpiece.

As the years wore on, he was always ridiculously proud that he was the one to give her such an important item in her life. Whenever she pulled it out, a picture already formed in her mind, he would notice she would look his way if they were in the same room (they usually were) and he was happy she thought of him when she took it out.

But he wouldn't know any of that now, not as he finally heard Clarke announce she was done and he got to look at his portrait. She was only nine, and she wasn't a savant by any means, but he could tell there was artistic talent within her so strong and natural. He was thirteen and he might be able to draw a half-decent stick figure, if he was in the right mood. Clarke, though, was on a whole other level.

As much as her drawing improved, and she drew other faces of important people that all progressed with her skill, he liked his portrait was from when they were both so young. It was when they were both innocent, ignorant of the future, bright-eyed and no inclination of anything that was to happen after this day. He always looked back on that portrait when he thought Clarke wasn't paying attention, and he smiled.

That was the day, that he would later reminisce, he really began to like her in all the important sort of ways. The day she drew him with her little stubs, lip caught between her teeth, nose crunched, and eyes so bright and seemed so perfectly happy to be drawing Bellamy Blake, acknowledging him in a way no one ever had before, and no one ever could the way she did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DAWWW AREN'T THEY JUST THE MOST ADORBS?!
> 
> Btw, if anyone wants me to make a photo album somewhere of what all the OCs look like, comment in your review! I have face claims for all of them, but I suppose I'll only post it if you're really interested in knowing.
> 
> Remember to review, lovlies!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All you Murven fans, you'll like this chapter, I think. This is where the story starts to intersect with things we know to be canon from the show, which I find to be pretty fun. There's so many missing threads that I enjoy being able to sort of string together and make it make sense. You'll get more of these events, for those of you curious how closely this story will follow the story line of the show, but if I told you which, i'd be spoiling the surprises ;)

_Five Years After Start of Program_

Death was both a clear and unclear idea upon the Ark.  
On one hand, no one died of easily preventable things anymore. Medicine was almost at its peak, and with so few people on board, equal health care was a no brainer. No one tripped into streams and drowned or fell from trees and broke their spine. Things like that couldn’t happen, so in some ways, many people were safer and lived longer. In this way, accidental deaths unless you were a builder or something akin, were only myths. So were deaths by things like cancer or other soul sucking diseases. In this way, it was unclear. Unless you were a doctor, you probably have never seen a dead body.  
But the strict rules upon the Ark, capital punishment, also made it quite clear. Everyone knew someone somehow that had been floated. The very idea of death, that someone wasn’t around anymore, wasn’t a foreign topic even to children. Somewhere in the back of their minds, every child realized that likely one day they’d know someone who was floated, or even worse be there to see it happen or experience it themselves.  
Yet, many of the children in the program were lucky enough to be spared of this for a time. Bellamy was arguably the most knowledgeable; as his mother had made it frighteningly obvious from the moment she realized she was pregnant with Octavia what would happen if anyone ever found out. She’d taken him close to an execution that day, and made him watch as Diana Sydney slammed her hand down on the button, sending a woman who had only forgotten to return a tool to the tool shed on accident, but it was still considered theft, into space. He didn’t see her face as she froze to death while she gasped for breath, but he didn’t need to. He knew he could never breathe a word of his mother’s secret. He had to walk around with this weight everyday, and so the horrors of the Ark were not far away but very real.  
It was five years into it when the reality of such things, of the smallest of errors and choices, could land you in the Skybox or floated…and it was, as always, a warning.  
By the time Clarke was ten, she split her time between three places, it seemed. Quite a lot of her time was spent at school or the after school club; the older she got and the more casual it became, the more she wanted to be there. If she wasn’t there, she was at home with a friend because she hated being alone. Sometimes it was a group, but often it was Raven, Bellamy, Wells, or someone else in her little clan. If she wasn’t at either of those places, she was in the Medical Wing with her mom.  
As a child, her intrigue had made the entire doctor team chuckle. While most children might be afraid of a heart lying on a table, when Clarke was five, she poked it a couple times (Before being scolded). It was then they realized that she had no fear of such gruesome things, and every doctor was trying to one-up the other by showing the Lead Doctor’s daughter a weirder and grosser thing. She enjoyed this game.  
But, beyond that, she listened and learned. While seeing someone’s thumb bent completely the wrong way was sort of funny to her, she was equally as interested in seeing how they put it back to where it should have been. She absorbed every tidbit of information with vigor, and the joking soon turned that she was every bit as knowledgeable as the newly apprenticed kids just starting. She more than once had corrected a kid at least 8 years her senior on something medical when she was hanging around.  
It was very clear to everywhere where Clarke would likely end up, and her mother couldn’t be prouder.  
Once, her dad got a little jealous and tried to take her to work with him the whole day. She’d never found anything more boring in her life.  
But, as knowledgeable as Clarke was on many thing, she had yet to experience ‘A Breakout’, or at least fully understand it. They happened every five to seven years or so, she was two the last time one happened.  
Even though they were fairly safe and well cared for in between these metal walls and many earthly things that had caused people to fall ill couldn’t hurt them there, the resilience of a sickness was shown clearly that every so often, something came up.  
When it did, it was a problem. They all shared the same air; you couldn’t get rid of polluted air. They all shared food. They were all trapped on a floating metal object thousands of miles from earth. So, although it was not common and on earth it might not have even been considered dangerous, when a breakout occurred here it was indeed a big deal.  
Sometimes they could fix it, Abby explained to Clarke, sometimes they could figure out the cure or they had it on hand. Other times they couldn’t, and it would be days or months or years before they had a cure, and in that case hard choices must be made.  
“For the good of the Ark.” Clarke was young, but she understood the gravity in her mother’s voice. They couldn’t let someone with a sickness get out to the main areas of the Ark and give it to others. They couldn’t even afford to have them lay on a bed, hoping it went away, for the doctors might get sick too.  
There wasn’t any formula to realize when A Breakout had happened, but Abby had been a doctor for many years and her intuition was fine-tuned. Therefore, when two people came in with suspicious coughs, she quarantined them right away. The other doctors shifted nervously, and Clarke realized the heaviness of the room and put down one of the battered anatomy books in the back of the room.  
Abby came out of the quarantine area, tugging her facemask down, and only nodded. The silence that followed would haunt Clarke, because everyone recalled their first Breakout in different ways, but Clarke saw it unfold like no one else.  
“What are the symptoms?” A doctor close to her mother’s age asked.  
“Fever, rashes, bloodshot eyes, shaking, and coughing.” Her mother rattled off, and every doctor there began to take notes.  
“…And?”  
Her mother shook her head.  
Clarke felt numb. Her mother had explained the procedure to her about a month before, when someone made a joke about A Breakout and half of the people in the room glared at him like he’d said something incredibly offensive. Because it was. Many people died, and it was of no fault of their own other than walking in someone’s way that coughed in their direction. Some fates were cruel.  
In this case, where there was no cure that they knew of, anyone exhibiting any symptoms was collected and…  
Clarke flinched. She’d seen death. She’d looked at the lifeless eyes of man upon a table, standing straight without flinching. She’d seen the dance of death as a person hovered between life and no life, and she hadn’t even blinked. But to think that these poor people’s best option was to be herded into an airlock and the door to the black void opened behind them was almost too much to bear. That was the best option she reminded herself, if the sickness didn’t kill them first. And it was, of course, for the good of the Ark.  
And then she was sent off to school.  
Looking back, as gently as her mother had explained it, Clarke often thought she was far too young to be told such things in that detail.  
She was far away in her mind all class, and her friends noticed.  
“Clarke.” Bellamy said, and she looked up. From the thinly pursed frown on his face, she realized it wasn’t the first time he said her name.  
“Yeah?” She pushed a strand of hair from her face.  
“You’re somewhere deep in space, girl. We said your name like five times.” Raven said, and Clarke tried not to flinch at the words she said, not when she knew people were being rounded up to take to an airlock soon.  
“I’m just…” She wave a hand, couldn’t even finding the strength to lie.  
“You can tell us, Clarke.” Jasper assured, leaning in, “You look really concerned.”  
“I can’t.” She whispered, trying to fight back tears. Only the council knew, and it was up to them to covertly find all those that had the symptoms Abby had listed, bring them to her and keep things quiet. If they told everyone they were in the middle of A Breakout, panic would ensue. A Breakout was one of those things you only realized after it was done.  
“Clarke…what’s going on?” Wells said, coming to her side, “It has something to do with my dad being called into a meeting today suddenly, doesn’t it?” She saw the backs of her friends straighten immediately.  
“Yes.” She whispered, biting her knuckles.  
“You know,” Bellamy said, frowning, “And you can’t tell us?”  
She shook her head angrily, biting her lip and trying not to cry. She was angry with herself, because she was far too old to cry when she was frustrated. But she was also angry that this is how it had to be done, knowing in her heart that it could be anyone that was sick, because sickness and death didn’t care much for titles or power other than taking it away.  
She looked around the room, counting each head, because at least each head she saw was another person that would be okay, and she couldn’t dare to lose even a single-  
“Where’s Murphy?” She asked, feeling her entire body go cold. She didn’t love the guy, granted, but he was part of their little group, and Raven liked him so that was enough for her. She prayed that Miller would say he just went to the bathroom, but Raven frowned.  
“He looked really bad this morning, so his dad kept him home.”  
Clarke reached across the table, grabbing her hand so tightly that Raven winced a bit at her grip.  
“What symptoms did he have?”  
“Clarke, what the heck is going on here?” Monty asked softly, whispering.  
“Raven!”  
“Uh…” Raven was flustered, licking her lips, “His eyes were sort of bloodshot, and he was coughing a bit, shaking really hard-,”  
Clarke stood suddenly, still holding Raven’s hand, and dragging her from the classroom. Naturally, her better friends followed. They could technically leave at any time, but most liked to hang around for something to do, so other than those that thought Clarke had gone mad, no one else found it strange she left.  
“What is happening Clarke?” Bellamy demanded, grabbing her shoulder, “If it’s A Breakout, we have the right to know.” His eyes were hard, but she saw fear behind them, a fear she’d never seen him have.  
“Where does Murphy live?” She questioned Raven, and her weak voice was answer enough for everyone. Wells eyes widened to saucers, Bellamy backed away and muttered an apology before taking off toward his station-at the time she assumed it was because he feared he might be an orphan after all this was over, only having one parent to begin with, so she didn’t think about it much, Jasper and Monty exchanged startled looks, Miller bowed his head, and Raven wrenched her arm from Clarke’s grip.  
“No.” She shook her head, “You don’t think-,”  
“They’re going around, collecting them. There’s no cure.” She whispered brokenly. Raven was shaking a bit, and looked terrified.  
“What do we do then?” Her voice was as courageous as she could muster.  
“We have to find him before someone on the council does.” Clarke hardly even thought of the consequences, or the possibly they could get sick. Murphy was part of their group, and she didn’t leave any of her friends behind.  
“Clarke.” Wells said, voice low and dangerous, pulling her aside to talk to her alone, “Perhaps we shouldn’t interfere. The council is much older than us, they know what they’re doing. He might not even be sick.” He reasoned with her.  
“I don’t care if the council is wiser, this is our friend, Wells. Murphy might be annoying, but it’s not like he’s ever been mean to you.” She said.  
“He doesn’t like my dad.”  
“Wells, you can either stay here or come with me.” Clarke said, raising an eyebrow.  
“What do you expect to do, really?”  
“I don’t know.” Clarke said, “But I have to try.”  
“Fine.”  
“Fine, what?”  
“I’m coming with. I don’t approve but-,”  
Clarke let out a relieved sigh, stopping him halfway through, “I know. So…thank you.”  
“He lives this way.” Raven whispered, and the band of children scuttled through the Ark, all the way to a moderately stationed room, somewhere in between rich and poor.  
The door was already unlocked.  
There wasn’t a parent in sight, but Murphy lay in a crumpled ball on his bunk, shivering and coughing into his hand.  
“Shit.” Jasper said, which, although Clarke didn’t condone swearing, thought it summed up everyone’s thoughts perfectly.  
Murphy turned around, and everyone stepped a foot back automatically, except Raven who knelt by him.  
“Hey you ass, you missed section.” She said, trying to keep her voice light.  
“I’m sort of dying here, birdie.” He said, attempting a smirk, but couldn’t quite get all the way there. Clarke swallowed thickly. His hazy eyes flickered to Clarke, “That bad?” His whole body slumped with a sort of realization.  
“We’re here to save you.” Miller said, cautiously coming over to him, “We don’t let our own go without a fight, man.”  
“Gee, thanks. A group of ten year olds here to rescue me.” He said. Sickness made him humble, and that was as close to humble as Murphy got.  
The door creaked open, and Murphy’s dad entered. As soon as he saw Clarke, he slammed the door shut, locking it.  
“You!” He said, backing her up against a wall, “You’re the daughter of the Head Doctor.”  
“Yes, Mr. Murphy.” Clarke squeaked, and saw the rage in his face, and that sort of wildness scared her.  
“What’s wrong with him?” He demanded, pointing back at John as her friends remained frozen in fear, “What is happening to my little Johnny?”  
“I-,”  
“I saw the council members doing ‘routine checkups’ and scanning numbers. They’re checking everyone, and for something. What is it?” He said. Clarke’s eyes gazed past him to Murphy, who looked so small and defeated, “Well?” He demanded, jarring Clarke back to him by grabbing her arm and shoving her a little. Immediately, Wells and Jasper surged forward to try to protect her, but she shook her head. He wasn’t angry like he was going to hurt her; he was merely terrified for his son, and he was in the dark. Any moment they could knock on the door and take him away forever…and somewhere, he knew that already.  
“You know what’s going on, sir.” Wells said quietly from behind him, and he spun, staring directly into Wells’ eyes.  
“It’s true.” Clarke whispered, “Murphy…he has…it. We were here to try to, oh, I don’t even know.” Clarke said and she saw tears gathering in Raven’s eyes, because she was pretty sure everyone now knew hiding him was pointless, since they were checking numbers.  
Mr. Murphy stumbled back, stunned, and before anyone could say anything else, he bolted from the room, leaving the children alone.  
“They’re going to float me, aren’t they Princess?” Murphy asked, picking up a nickname Bellamy had called her. Usually, she hated it. But today?  
She sank to the floor, unable to answer him at all. When she met his gaze, she saw his nose was running and he was trying not to break down.  
Everyone else sat down too.  
“We might as well stay here until it happens.” Jasper said.  
“You all have a death wish.” Murphy said, rolling over onto his back, but somewhere, Clarke knew he was relieved he wouldn’t be alone.  
Bellamy found them sometime later, and he joined their silent vigil. He seemed a bit more relaxed than about an hour ago, and he just sat down by Clarke, close enough to her that Wells sent him one of his usual glares.  
But his father never returned, at least, not to the room. It was Abby who found them instead, the little group of pre-teens with tear-stained cheeks and the boy who shivered despite having three blankets around him.  
“We need to take John in.”  
The walk back to the medical bay was silent. Abby sent the rest of the children home. Bellamy and Raven were the most hesitant to leave, Raven glancing back at John’s supine figure at least five times, and Bellamy holding Clarke’s hand up until he parted ways.  
“Where’s his dad?”  
“Alex Murphy was found with these in his jacket pocket.” Abby’s voice was level as she handed Clarke three vials.  
“This is for basic vaccinations. It wouldn’t have done anything for him.” Clarke said, staring in confusion at the medicine.  
“I know.” Her voice was so devoid of emotion that Clarke caught on quickly.  
“No.” She shook her head, looking back at Murphy, “They can’t…he was trying to save Murphy!”  
“Many people have had better motives for doing what they do, but these are rationed and he broke a law.” The only consolation in the whole mess was Clarke could tell her mother did not approve.  
“He’s not even going to be able to save him. It was for nothing…” Clarke whispered, watching as Murphy was put into the room with at least ten other Arkers. She couldn’t stop her tears now.  
Her mother tried to get her to go back to her room, but Clarke made herself a deadweight when her father tried to pick her up. If she had not been so stubborn, Raven might have been crying for a different reason the next day.  
She was there to see the most intelligent researcher Doctor come up to her mother with a single prototype vial for this Breakout. It wasn’t even assured to work, and there was enough for a single person.  
Clarke shoved herself off the workbench, striding up to her mother.  
“Use it on Murphy.”  
“Clarke.” Her mother set it on the table, running her fingers through her hair. She looked really tired, “There’s a council member in there, you know.”  
“Murphy is a kid mom. What if I was in there? He’s younger than me! He’s the only kid that got sick. He hadn’t even lived.” She pleaded. She blurted out every reason she could think of. Her teachers did say she excelled at debates.  
“Clarke, this isn’t something for a kid to decide.” Her mother said firmly, “This is for the adults.” Yet, Clarke already feared Abby had made up her mind.  
She saw a new face appear in the medical wing, and sped away from her mother before she could talk to him first.  
“Jaha!” She cried. He was like her uncle, but she also realized the unique position he was in, “You have to save my friend, John Murphy. He’s dying in there, or he will die, and there’s only one dose of medicine and I can’t have him die! Please, you have to convince my mom to use the medicine on him!” She was crying so hard she could hardly get her words out. She understood, in a detached sort of way, how she must look; at ten year old who was too innocent to have truly experienced death pleading and crying and throwing a fit.  
“John Murphy, you say?” He asked, frowning.  
“He’s in my after school group. Please, Jaha, please!” She begged.  
She watched as Jaha patted her shoulder and took her mother aside. She never saw the end of their conversation, because her father grabbed her and locked her in her room, but she kicked against him the whole way there.  
The mood in the after school group the next morning was palpable. By this point, everyone knew.  
Raven was pretty much inconsolable. Finn was there, which was usually not allowed (Jasper was an exception), but they were close too and Raven deserved every ounce of courage today.  
Murphy didn’t show up, and Raven sobbed.  
But the next day, he did. She tacked him to the ground, which Clarke frowned upon because he was clearly still weak.  
“I tricked you, didn’t I?” He asked, laughing as he grabbed his chest, “When I didn’t show up yesterday.”  
“Don’t you ever!” Raven shook her head, hugging him and trying to wipe away her tears, “You absolute jerk!”  
“I didn’t know you cared, Raven.” His voice was faux-astounded.  
“Of course.” Raven wasn’t joking now, her voice serious, “You’re my friend. It means everything to me. Loosing you would be like losing Clarke or Finn.”  
After the discussion with Raven about family, Clarke understood that loosing him would be as bad as loosing a mom or a dad. He was her family. He seemed to know this too.  
“I’m just teasing, Raven.”  
Clarke thought for a long time after that Murphy was saved because of her, and because she proved how much she wanted him to live. She’d never begged for anything before. Later, after the realization the after school group children were to be married off and such and this had been decided and monitored closely, she wondered if it was because he was too important of a pawn to lose when it came down to it. But that day, when she was ten, she didn’t have the foggiest of ideas, and merely thought it was her determination that saved him.  
The execution came two and a half days later. There weren’t many people here to see them off, because no one but the council and the doctors knew. On record, the sick people couldn’t be seen because they might contaminate others. The doctors were giving their most valiant effort, trying every drug and remedy known to man that they could do, but in the end it wouldn’t be enough. It was simpler to tell the families and public they died off one by one from this horrible disease than to admit that the most logical option was to float them because diseases were unreliable bastards.  
“Most people don’t think logically when they’re upset,” Abby had told Clarke, who felt sick and weird to know this was happening.  
She was there when it happened, because she was waiting for what would come next. But she also felt obligated to be there, to stare at the faces of the 12 people that she begged her mother to pass over instead of John. One she recognized quite well, it was a councilman who she’d seen sharing a glass of moonshine with her father once or twice. He was attempting to comfort the rest of the people.  
She looked away as Jaha pressed that horrible red button.  
There was a silence after the scream of the air rushing out into space with the bodies of the sickened that Clarke felt was the most pressing thing she’d ever felt. Jaha murmured a quiet prayer, and then there was another silence.  
She turned around, and saw Raven, Murphy, and Bellamy emerge from the shadows. Murphy was looking remarkably better, a little color in his cheeks now. His eyes had lost the bloodshot look yesterday, and his cough was only once or twice an hour instead of all day now. Abby had taken his blood this morning and declared him free of sickness.  
Raven was here for Murphy, obviously. He hadn’t said it outright, but Clarke knew he wanted her here. Or, at least someone. Bellamy was here for him too, but he looked terrified. It was an expression Clarke couldn’t place, that stirred something deep within her.  
“Should we wait for your mother, John?” Abby asked kindly, giving a weak smile to Murphy. He scowled.  
“Don’t bother. She’s-,” He broke off, shaking his head, “She’s just not coming, alright?” His voice was sharp like broken glass. Above her head, Clarke saw Jaha and Abby exchange glances.  
“Well, then…” Jaha nodded to something off behind them, and the guard that had found Alex with the stolen medicine pushed him forward, his hands tied together. Murphy was right beside Clarke, and they were close enough to feel his shoulders stiffen.  
“John…” Alex said, “You’re…you’re okay?” He sounded incredulous, and Clarke was horrified no one had thought to tell him his own kid had lived. She looked at Murphy, who always had something to say, but his lips moved and nothing came out.  
Clarke’s heart rattled in her chest.  
As the guard moved Alex Murphy into the box, he struggled, stalking up to Jaha.  
“This is your fault, you know.” He said, narrowing his eyes, “We, as the public, had a right to know what was going on! Why would you condemn a child so easily? What kind of monsters have we become? You have a son, you have to understand the pain I felt, that I would have done anything to save him. Especially when it seems like nothing was even trying to be done.” He spat in Abby’s direction.  
“I have a son, so I do sympathize.” Jaha truly did sound sympathetic, “But rules are rules, Alex. You knew them well. We cannot let it pass, no matter the circumstances.”  
Alex regarded him for a hard moment, then looked away. “John.” He spoke softly to his son, “Come here.”  
Murphy came forward, and when he was inches away, Alex reached out and hugged him so close to him that it seemed for a moment they were one. It was a death grip, one that Clarke could tell he never wanted to let go of. He was whispering things into Murphy’s ear as he stroked his hair, and he saw Murphy shaking, trying his damn hardest not to cry. Finally, the guard began to pull him away, and John stumbled forward, trying to hold onto him for as long as possible. The door closed behind Alex, and John stood, watching him as stiff as a statue. Clarke couldn’t even imagine what was going on in his mind currently, and it was a position she never wanted to be in.  
Jaha’s hand hovered above the button.  
“Wait!” Murphy turned around, and Jaha was so surprised that he paused, “I know from Clarke telling Raven and Raven telling me that you had one dose to use, and you chose me. I’m no one, it didn’t have to be me, but you let it be I, so I know you aren’t as awful as I sometimes thought. Spare my dad, please! He was just trying to save me. It’s my fault I was sick, I probably was somewhere I wasn’t supposed to be. You can keep it a secret; no one will have to know. Or tell them it was mistake, he didn’t have the medicine…I don’t care…just don’t kill my dad.” His voice broke, and in the years Clarke had known him, he’d never once expressed as much emotion as he did now.  
Jaha, for his credit, did stop for a couple moments, but it was far too fleeting.  
“Rules are rules.” He said sternly, and before John could say anything else, he slammed his palm on the button. In that moment, less than a second, Alex was gone.  
Clarke went to comfort John.  
“Get away from me.” He lashed out; eyes wide and wild and something darker that Clarke didn’t think a ten-year-old should have yet.  
“John, I’m sorry.” Clarke whispered, and he flinched at the use of his real name.  
“Let him be.” Abby said, gently touching her daughter’s hand, “It’s always difficult.”  
Clarke looked back to see Raven, the only one he’d let near him, hugging him. Bellamy was invited back to Clarke’s place, and both their thoughts were miles away with their friend. There wasn’t much talk at the dinner table, nor afterwards.  
“Are you okay?” Clarke questioned after her mother and father had retired into their room.  
“What a question. It’s not my dad that was floated today.” Bellamy’s answer was short, flat.  
“But you looked so haunted. It was terrifying, Bell.” Clarke said, studying him, “So, are you okay?”  
“I…” He twisted his lips into a frown, “I asked my mom today what happened to my dad. She’s never talked about him and I didn’t ask. But she told me he’d died during A Breakout. And after seeing that this morning, I think he was floated for being sick and my mom just never even knew the truth. It brought up some uncomfortable truths.” He said honestly, “And, “ He got a more guarded look on his face, “It just made me think about mistakes people might make in life…how easily…” He gulped, “Never mind.”  
“No, I get it.” Clarke said. He almost laughed.  
“You really don’t.”  
“What? Because I’m from Alpha station?” She felt offended, and her voice rose.  
“No, it’s not that.” He pressed his forehead into his palms, “It’s really…one day, and maybe I’ll tell you.” It was so vague, but he’d already confided so much in her today that Clarke let it pass. Besides, maybe he would tell her one day, and she recognized some secrets were more violate than others.  
“I hope Murphy’s alright.” Bellamy changed the subject.  
“Raven’s with him, I’m sure. Those two get each other. They’re both jerks at the best of times, so I think they’re the only two that could stand each other’s attitudes.” She said, grinning, “I mean, I love Raven, but she doesn’t sugarcoat anything.”  
“And Muphy’s just an ass. But he’s not the worst kid.” Both were grinning a bit more now, sharing their mutual love of their friends that were ‘complicated’ more than half the time.  
“I just hope…well, you know, it’s never easy seeing something like that.” Bellamy twiddled his thumbs, “I just hope-,”  
“He’s not changed.” Clarke finished for him, “Yes, I agree.”  
Neither could have known, not definitely, but it came as no surprise when things did change in Murphy that day. If Clarke could count the days back to when the moment his heart began to darken was, it would be the day his father was floated even thought he pleaded with Jaha. Yet, how could anyone truly blame him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you tell I love Murphy? He's totally my trash baby. Also, I just find his whole 'origin' story to be so complex. Literally, he's such a faceted character, especially shown after the finale of the season. In my head canon, I like to think that all the good in him was his father, because I'm sure his father knew the risks to try to save him, but tried anyway. How did he survive in the real timeline without Clarke if I imagine it went down like this? Hell if I know XD But it was interesting, once again, thinking about diseases and breakouts and protocols on the Ark because there's just so much about that life we don't know.
> 
> A lot of you showed interest in seeing the pictures of the OC, so I am working steadily on getting that up on photobucket or something, but be patient! I will for sure have that up by the next chapter! I'm so far a head at this point, because all I want to do is write and make fanfiction.
> 
> My TV shipping has been sad because not one but TWO of my OTPs were killed brutally. I am (always will be) a hardcore SkyeWard shipper for AoS and I was so sad when Grant died in a way he can't come back that I re-watched the entire first season in a week. I've only been reading SkyeWard fanfiction since the finale :( I met Brett Dalton in person and he's such a great guy and really ships it too which makes it SO SAD.
> 
> AND THEN on Reign, they're getting rid of the one character I'm basically still watching it for, and literally killed two of my main ships in one episode and ONE IS MY OTP. I was a hard core Greer/Leith shipper and that ain't happening, and but I am forever a Mash (Mary/Bash) shipper and although he sorta professed he still loved her I learned that Torrence Combs was leaving the show after this season, basically killing another OTP.
> 
> At least I still have Bellarke...
> 
> So, if you were/are a Skyeward, Greer/Leith, or Mash shipper out there, I am with ya in this sadness!


	10. Chapter 10

Six Years After Start of Program

It was after that that they began to see death more frequently, like Alex Murphy had been some sort of catalyst. Many adults would have told them they were lucky to be spared until over ten to understand death on the personal level most now did, for a lot of people saw it at a much younger age.

No one could really ignore that one of their own had lost not just a friend, but also a father. Now, almost six years and counting in this after-school group, there was a sort of kinship between the people, an invisible thread that connected them all, despite the varying personalities.

There was only one photograph of Alex onboard the ARK, and that was his council sanctioned work photo, like everyone got when they started their assignments. It was understandable why Murphy wouldn't have wanted that to be the only reminder of his dad, so Clarke took the matter into her own hands. His father's final smile had haunted her for months after, the smile he gave when he hugged Murphy and whispered his final love into his ear, and so it was all too easy to draw it out in perfect detail. She sacrificed one page of her sketchbook to hand him it, and although at first he just stared at it with half-anger and half-pain, Raven assured Clarke that he never went anywhere without it anymore.

"That was a nice thing you did." Bellamy told her, knowing more than anyone how special the notebook was to her.

"He deserved it." She said, never taking her eyes off the movie they were viewing, "It as his dad…"

And although Bellamy didn't understand fully what it meant, for he never had a father, he liked Jake Griffin well enough at this point to realize the despair Clarke would feel if he was floated. In some ways, when he let his dreams get far ahead of himself, he found Jake to almost be like a dad to him as well.

Clarke thought about that day often, and how it had started to change her view of everything she'd been raised to think. She couldn't understand how her mother did this so often, and how the faces and last sounds of those that were floated didn't horrify her.

For the good of the Ark was beginning to simply not be a good enough reason for her.

She was glad to find later that others had similar feelings. The story of the execution of Alex got around their group soon enough, what led up to it and how Murphy himself almost died. In the quiet moments, when the teachers weren't near and no one had passed by the door in an hour, they whispered. Clarke heard most of it, and she was relieved that maybe to think such things weren't as crazy as she thought.

"You gotta wonder," Monty whispered once, breaking the silence while Wells and Jasper played chess and the others watched, "how that could be right?"

"When I'm on the council," Aloysius, or Al as most called him, a capricious child who had grand dreams to be a politician one day, "I'm going to try to fix that. There has to be a middle ground, you know?"

"Not fair, no way. Murphy can be a little out there, but his dad was a great guy. He didn't do it to be selfish, and that should count, right?" Stasia Huron proclaimed louder than most.

Even Bree had a comment on it, "I understand why it was done, but that doesn't mean I agree with it." She was shaking with anger when she said this; the closest to exploding with emotion anyone had ever seen her.

Bellamy had, by far, the most unsettling comment, which he only shared with Clarke in private, a night where both her parents had gone to a meeting. He'd seen them leave, and Clarke had asked him what was bothering him, since his brow was so deeply knit.

"I've been replaying that night. How they just executed those sick people and then slowly I heard the families getting notices about how they'd died under the illness. It was sporadically done, at least it seemed. They were all too good at making the people believe there was nothing that could have been done, and that they weren't just thrown into space. If they've lied about these things before, and they can do it without even flinching, what else have they been lying to us about?" His eyes met Clarke's, and she shivered under the intensity of his gaze.

"I don't want to think about that." Her throat was dry, "I imagine there are a lot of secrets on the Ark we can't even phantom. The worst might be done by my own parents." Her eyes clouded, and Bellamy sighed, swearing under his breath.

"Clarke," He murmured, "I didn't mean to…your parents are good people. Some of the only council members I trust implicitly. I didn't mean to imply that they'd-,"

"My mom was the one that visited families. She lied, I know she did." Clarke cut him off, twiddling her thumbs, "I would have come to that conclusion myself, and only the stars know how much I've been thinking about that day anyway. I think it would be stupid of me to assume they're perfect, you know?" She chewed on the end of a small pencil, "You got to realize eventually that even your parents have flaws."

Bellamy didn't point out that heavy lying was a little more than a 'flaw'.

The most surprising conversation she had about it happened with Wells. He was always stoically silent when someone was expressing their views, so she thought that all that time he was biting his tongue against fighting them. That he sided with his dad, as would be naturally assumed, and he might dislike the way they all had lost a little bit of faith in his father and the system.

But once, when it was just the two of them alone like the time before the groups and such, he caught her off guard. All they were doing was making cookies for their after school group (at Clarke's insistence; she wasn't sure he loved everyone there, and probably wouldn't have made cookies in his free time) and so it wasn't even like Clarke was asking him to pony up his views on the matter. It just came out.

"I think my dad and the rules are wrong." He said, so out of the blue that Clarke dropped the cookie she was icing.

"Darn it." She muttered, looking sourly at the now ruined circle. She set it aside; perhaps she'd eat it. Nothing should be wasted on the Ark, "What were you saying?" She'd heard him, but she almost wanted him to have a moment to redact it, in case it wasn't really what he thought.

When she looked into his eyes, she saw he was dead serious.

"My dad taught me from the day I was born that the survival of the human race as a whole, getting to the point when we can go back down again and touch the ground, is more important that the lives of any one individual person." He repeated, a textbook phrase that by the time you grew up, you'd heard two million times at least.

"I used to believe it." He seemed deeply troubled, "Used to think that nothing could change it. But this? The way they just…" He swallowed, "I don't know Clarke. I…he's wrong."

Clarke watched him carefully, thinking about it.

"So when you're chancellor, you're going to change all this, huh?" She questioned. As much as one disagreed, what could a couple kids truly do other than hope for a better future. Wells seemed to relax, his shoulders sagging.

"I guess." He muttered, "But maybe I wouldn't even get elected, since I don't think I agree with the biggest thing about us and the Ark that there is." He sighed, dejected. In a way, Clarke understood. Wells had always been groomed and he had naturally assumed he would one day sit on the council, and perhaps lead them all. He'd taken the assumption in stride, and maybe he wanted it too. But to learn everything your views are based on are faulty? It sort of shook up your whole plan, didn't it?

"I've been thinking about it a long time. How I don't agree with things my father does. Like-," Wells cut off suddenly. Wells was articulate; he almost never misspoke. Yet now he frantically frosted cookies, glancing at Clarke and hoping she didn't ask.

"Like what?" Wells should know Clarke better than that.

"It's nothing."

"Well, if it upsets you, it's not nothing." Clarke took the cookie from him, placing a finger under his chin and gently lifting his face, "Wells, we're best friends. I would trust you with anything, and you can trust me."

"I can't." He shook his head, "It's not…" He pressed his lips together.

"Wells." She used her most authoritative voice, "It's not healthy to keep secrets!"

He looked at her, still unsure, and opened his mouth.

"If I t-," He never finished, because Benny smashed in the door.

"Guys! Come quick. Something's happened."

Immediately, they abandoned their cookies and all thoughts of the previous conversation, for the anxiety in Benny's voice wasn't anything usual.

"What's the matter?" Clarke jumped to catch up with Benny's long legs.

"Bell and I, we were just hanging around, you know?" Benny said, "And then we saw some guards carrying off a kid, and Jovanna was sobbing behind him. Some shit went done, Clarke." He sounded terrified.

They reached a small alcove near Benny's house, and already a small group of their after school people had assembled around her. Jovanna Weizoreck was on her knees, sobbing on her hands. Bellamy was at her level, trying to talk softly to her.

Clarke elbowed her way to the front. She obviously wasn't a great friend with Jovanna, her being a year older and having a different group of friends, but to see someone that she knew in a more intimate way so upset was painful, plus as Benny had so eloquently put, 'shit went down'.

"Jo." She whispered, "Hey." She put a careful hand on Jovanna's arm. Jovanna startled, blinking up at Clarke with wide eyes.

"People are starting to notice," Bellamy whispered softly to Clarke, as he got up to peer over the crowd of just their friends, "We need to get her somewhere else."

One of Jovanna's better friends from the group, Kieran, pushed forward and put Jovanna's arm around one of her shoulders, while Clarke took the other. Wells and Bellamy helped move the crowd as they brought her back to Clarke's house.

They only let a few people in; Wells, Bellamy, Kieran, and Benny because Jovanna looked a little overwhelmed. Clarke got her a glass of water, and Kieran whispered softly to her.

"Do you know what happened?" Clarke questioned Bellamy, who followed Clarke into her kitchen.

"No. But she must have known the guy the guards came from." Bellamy was frowning, "They were close, I gathered."

"Did you know him?"

He sighed, "Recognized him from a class or two, he's my age. His name is Kevin or Melvin or something like that."

Clarke nodded, bringing the water back to her.

"What happened?" Wells knelt by her, "Hey, it's fine."

"Nothing's fine." Jovanna gasp out, trying to collect herself as she took the glass from Clarke's hand, "They took Marv. He's going to the SkyBox."

"Whose Marv?" Benny asked bluntly, scratching his head. Jovanna drank the water, taking deep gulps of air. She was able to speak a little clearer now.

"My friend. We're neighbors, even if he's 15 and I'm only 12. He's really good at computers, and-," She broke off, fiddling her thumbs, looking cautiously at Wells.

"Hey, whatever you say, total confidence. I won't tell my dad. We just want to know what happened." Wells said assuring her, and Clarke nodded with relief at his words. She didn't want Jovanna clamping up because the son of the chancellor was there.

"Well, he's really good at finding ways into places and all on the mainframes. I mean, I guess it's not exactly legal, but it's all really stupid stuff that why would they care about anyway? But yesterday he said he found something really big, and he needed to tell me about it. It was a huge secret of something. We met at the place where we usually talk about quiet stuff, but before he could tell me, guards appeared out of nowhere, saying he committed treason." Her lip quivered and she began sobbing all over again, "They took him away, and they won't tell me why."

"And you don't know anything about this 'secret'?" Bellamy narrowed his eyes.

"No. Well, it apparently had something to do with me, but he never got the chance to finish." She finished her water, "If it's all the same to you guys, I don't really want to talk anymore." She said sullenly, and Clarke nodded to her, and pulled everyone but Kieran away from her.

"Let her mourn." Clarke said, although it seemed Benny was dying to ask more questions.

"You're not curious?" He asked, throwing his hands toward her, "What if it's about us too; this 'big secret'. Why would it just be about Jo? She's not exactly extraordinary." He scoffed.

"I'll ask my dad." Wells said, scowling, "Maybe it's all a mistake. It has happened." He said. He excused himself, and Benny and Bellamy left soon after, taking Jovanna back to her room with Kieran.

It was two days before Clarke was alone with Wells again, and she was all too curious. She wasn't going to be obvious about it, like Benny was, but she did want to know if this was something she might be concerned about.

"It wasn't a mistake, apparently." Wells said as they walked home from section, "Worse, he's in solitary. Apparently whatever it was…that secret…" He let out a long exhale.

"Shit." Clarke rarely swore, but the circumstance demanded it.

"Yeah."

Clarke let them walk three more steps before she asked, "I think I recall you were telling me a secret too?"

"I can't." Wells stiffened immediately.

"Oh, come on, we've been through this!"

"I can't, and not just…" He bit his lip angrily, and almost looked close to tears, which was unfamiliar for Clarke, "They took Marv away so they might-" He broke off, kicking the side of the hallway.

"Take you away?" Clarke finished for him, "No way, I mean, you're dad is the chancellor! Plus, I mean they probably tagged him a while ago for his actives, and they knew when he opened something sensitive. Who am I going to tell?" She said, "We're safe."

"It doesn't matter if my father's the chancellor." Wells said in a low even voice, "He would lock me up, I know it. He would have to." His lip quivered, "I'm sorry Clarke, but I just can't tell you. It's safer if you don't know either. They might figure it out and come for you."

"I don't care."

"You would though. I can't do that to you." Wells reached the door of his house, "Please, Clarke, just forget about it. For me, your best friend?" Damn, he played the BFF card.

"Fine." Clarke bit out, angry, and she spun on her heels, "Don't tell me." She wasn't truly angry with him, but she was frustrated at the situation. She'd never seen Wells look so terrified of something, and so sure that if he told her, his father would have to arrest him. She trusted him, and if he was positive of the outcome, she knew she couldn't budge him. He was unsuspectingly solid in that sort of way. So, although she never again asked him about it, she never stopped wondering either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think we all know what Marv found out. Poor Marv!
> 
> Anyway, like I said, the photobucket is up and all :) Here's the link (take out the spaces for it to be functional)
> 
> w w w . s61. photobucket user /frostedgemstones22 /library /Project%20Iphigenia?sort=3&page=1
> 
> The 'partner' and 'job' places are currently empty, and will be updated with the story. There are some little tidbits there to know and all! Let me know what you think? Did certain OCs look how you expected them? Tell me!
> 
> Also, for those of you that have tumblrs and would like to follow me (and feel free to ask me anything on tumblr! I love connecting with my readers) my tumblr is frostedgemstones22. I mostly just reblog nerdy 100, HP, and Marvel stuff, so If y'all like that, I'm the blog to follow XD When I get asks about my stories, I answer those too!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm updating a bit early. It will be explained in the bottom notes! This is another sort of Murphy-centric chapter (from the POV of Clarke and Bellamy), so not so much a 'Bellarke' chapter, but still I think important. And I just wrote a really adorable Bellake scene in a chapter coming down the line, so no fear, we are getting there!

Six Years After Start of Project

"Got any threes?" Jasper asked with sly eyes, the only thing visible above the fan of cards in his hand.

Clarke begrudgingly handed over her three. Jasper made a big show of picking out the card from his hand and matching them down on the table with his many, many pairs. He then scooted slightly to the left, turning toward Bellamy.

"So…got any sixes?"

Bellamy cussed, and handed him a six. The entire rest of the table groaned.

"We need to adjust the rules." Raven announced, "You've literally had twelve turns in a row!"

"Yeah, how do you know what everyone has?" Monty agreed, glaring at his friend and looking at his meager pile of cards, "If I didn't know better, I'd say you were cheating. But since I'm here playing against you, I don't know who you've roped into it to pull it off."

"Murphy." Jasper replied, totally straight-faced.

"Yeah, right." Raven rolled her eyes, "I know that he's decided you're worthy enough to be his friend, but he has to know I'd whoop his ass if he was playing against me." She raised her voice, daring him to come out.

"I'm just joking." Jasper adjusted his big goggles on top of his head, a recent birthday present from Monty, "I guess I'm just that good." He winked. The table shuddered in unison.

"Just what your ego needs." Clarke shook her head, knowing it was a moot point since he had at least triple how many pairs everyone else did, "Remind me to get on your side if we ever play poker. Are you good at that, do you reckon?"

"Well, maybe." Jasper shrugged, "I've never actually played."

"Me neither." Monty said, and Jasper began to look around the table. Clarke shook her head, only ever seen her father and Jaha with some other men play when she was supposed to be sleeping.

"Who do you think would have taught me?" Raven asked when he looked at her.

"My mom taught me once." Bellamy said, "But I don't remember."

Wells just raised an eyebrow, and that was enough of an answer.

"Dang. I'm sure someone in the group knows how to play, though." Jasper raised his head above their circle, "Probably Sarah, or maybe Benny…"

"I know how to play." Bree's quite voice shocked everyone.

"Jesus!" Jasper jumped a foot in the air, "I for-," He broke off when Wells gave him a harsh look. But Clarke knew what he was about to say, that he'd forgotten she was even here. But it was hard to recall she was, since she was so quiet and hadn't even gotten a single pair yet.

"You do?" Wells even seemed shocked. Her pale skin blushed as red as a tomato.

"Well, sure." She said, and her voice shook, having so many eyes on her, "My dad and mom like playing with a deck they made, in their free time. They play for money, to get enough to get by. They're pretty good." She spoke mostly at her hands, which were situated in her lap, only meeting Clarke and Wells' eyes.

"Will you teach me later?" Jasper grinned, pushing himself across the table, "I mean, I gotta see if I'm as good as that. And if I can get some extra money, ca-ching!" He rubbed his fingers together.

"Sure." She said, "What kind do you want to learn how to play?"

"There are different kinds?" Jasper sounded dumfounded.

"Black jump or something, is one…" Bellamy trailed off. Bree almost smiled at his mistake.

"Black Jack." She said, and sighed, "I'll try to get my deck from home. It's easier to show you than explain it verbally." She said.

"Can we play for money?" Raven said, "Because you know, I could always use it."

"I'd just win it all, but sure." Bree said, smiling innocently. The entire table was stunned, never having Bree speak so plainly or make a joke like that, and she seemed almost surprised at herself, retreating back behind her wavy ginger hair, "But whatever, you know." She shrugged.

"How bout we all bring a little something, and we re-group tomorrow?" Bellamy said, "And you can teach us."

"Sure." She said softly, and excused herself quickly, "Tomorrow." She said almost to herself.

"Well…" Clarke waited until she was gone, "I've never seen that side to her."

"She's not a robot, Clarke." Wells muttered, "She does have a personality, you know."

"Could have fooled me." Jasper threw his feet onto the table, "I think that's the first time I've ever heard her tell a joke. Really."

"She just is shy." Wells said in frustration, "She only opens up to those she trusts."

"Is that anyone?" Raven scrunched up her nose.

"Obviously Wells." Bellamy said, eying him up, "You're speaking from experience, right?" Wells' gaze seemed to harden as soon as Bellamy put that upon him, and his expression soured.

"Being nice to people isn't a crime, Blake." He said. Clarke could have sworn that when Wells looked away, Bellamy muttered something along the lines of 'you should take your own advice'. She rolled her eyes; the constant pissing contest between these two for no apparent reason she could see was totally annoying. And whenever she confronted either of them about it, they'd claim they liked the other 'just fine' and Clarke was 'imagining' things and they weren't trying to compete with each other. She wasn't fooled though, and she legitimately had to wonder whenever they said that if perhaps they really didn't know that they were doing it?

She asked Raven about it later, Raven claimed not to have noticed.

The next day, she met up with Raven and Bellamy and a handful of loose change in her pocket. To her, it wasn't really all too much to lose, but she knew for others this might buy them a whole meal. Since being put into this program, she'd become strikingly aware of the difference of the stations and she hated it with a burning passion.

"Where's Wells?" Bellamy asked, surveying the area around Clarke suspiciously.

"He's with Bree, helping her bring the stuff." Clarke said. Bellamy sniffed.

"Good."

"You see?" Clarke sighed in exasperation, motioning to Bellamy whilst looking at Raven.

"What?" Bellamy asked, frowning.

"That you and Wells are obviously in some ridiculous contest to better the other." Raven said casually, and Bellamy scoffed in offence.

"We are not!" He said, "But if we were, I'd obviously win."

Clarke ran her fingers through her hair, but only looked at Raven with a half-crazed look. Raven was stifling laughter.

"You're right, I see it now."

"Women." Bellamy shook his head, "Don't know what they're talking about…"

"Oh! Before we pass by his area, can we pick up Murphy? He'd kill me if he missed out on a chance to make some money off people." She giggled, and Clarke tilted her head.

"Where has he been? Now that you talk about it, I haven't seen him in class a couple days." She felt guilt for not noticing.

"Well, uh…" Raven twirled her fingers; "You know things have been hard since last year, right?"

"Obviously." Bellamy nodded, sharpening his attention.

"His mom…she's in a bad way, you know? It was just kind of going off the handle once or twice a month at first, but now she's drunk just all the time. I don't even know where she's getting that moonshine from, but Murphy hasn't been able to eat meals some days. I share what Mrs. Collins gives me with him."

"Stars, Raven, shit." Bellamy cussed, "Why didn't you tell us? We would have helped?"

"And let it get out? That this is happening?" Raven straightened her back, "No. He's too proud to let anyone else help. And I understand it, what it's like. My mom's the same. You can't…" She tapped her foot, "It's really something between me and him. You might just make things worse." She said, looking at Clarke. Clarke realized she'd likely come to the same conclusions as Clarke had about becoming an orphan and those sorts of ramifications.

"Is he okay, though?" Clarke asked softly.

"He's managing. He's actually stronger than even I think I am sometimes." She gave a grave smile, "Especially since his mom wasn't always like this. My mom is all I've ever known."

"What was his mom like before?" Clarke asked as they made their way to his place.

"She wasn't great, you know. I don't get what his dad saw in her, but whatever. His dad's love for him was so clear, and I think Murphy's even a semi-good person because of his father's influence. His mother though…" Raven shook her head, "I shouldn't speak ill of her, never mind."

Bellamy and Clarke shared anxious looks.

When they reached his door, there wasn't any sound coming from behind the door.

"Murphy?" Raven banged on the door, "You still alive, buddy?" She chuckled, trying to lighten the mood, "C'mon, you should come out. We're playing poker for money. I'll cover your fee." Clarke knew this was a generous offer on her part, since she already had so little.

They waited a bit longer, but still no answer.

"Maybe he's out?" Bellamy said, sticking his hands in his pockets, "We should go."

"No, I'm checking up on him." Raven said boldly, fishing a key from her pocket to his door.

"How did you get a key?" Clarke asked.

"Copied it, but shh…" Raven waved her hand, ignoring the fact that this was technically a crime. She opened the door, and cautiously pushed it in.

The room reeked of alcohol. It was trashed and dirty, and even though it was small, it seemed to hold an insurmountable amount of just garbage.

"Wow…" Bellamy whispered, "Is it always like this?"

"No." Raven said, and took a step forward. Something crunched underneath her foot, and she screamed and jumped a couple inches back. There was a blanket thrown on the ground, and Clarke cautiously lifted it back. Bellamy made a retching nose, holding back vomit.

"Holy fu-,"

"Is that Murphy's mom?" Clarke asked Raven. Down on the ground was a woman with the palest skin Clarke had ever seen, bloodshot eyes, and vomit dripping from her parted lips. Her skin was cold, and she was dead, and had been for awhile. Raven had tread on her hand.

Raven was covering her mouth with both hands, and nodded.

"She wouldn't let me touch her. I couldn't…save her." A voice sounded from the back of the room. Bellamy stepped over the body, squinting into the darkness.

"John?"

"Hi." Murphy's voice was flat, and he uncurled himself from the ball he'd been holed up in.

"How long has…" Raven's voice came out muffled, hands still covering her lips.

"Not that long, it doesn't smell yet." Clarke said, having seen death a couple times in the clinic.

"Only half an hour, not long." Murphy's voice was so devoid of anything, no anger, and no sadness it was so different than when his father had died last year. Something was off about it.

"We need to get rid of her body, John." Clarke said as softly as she could.

"Okay, fine." Murphy shrugged. Raven's face was deeply knit with worry, and she went over to sit on his bunk with him. Clarke instructed Bellamy to stay behind too, just in case, and she ran back to find her mom.

Two hours later, Karenina Murphy's body was taken away, and his house sealed up to be deeply cleansed and eventually given to another family. Murphy was led to the Chancellor's room, where he now sat on the couch, staring off into the distance.

Clarke couldn't help but feel her heart clench when she looked at him…he was an orphan now.

Mrs. Collins and Mr. Collins had shown up with Finn not soon after, since all news traveled fast upon the Ark. A death like this was especially juicy.

"You're not going to send him to the Sky Box, are you?" Clarke asked Jaha, "Please, don't."

"Of course not." Jaha said with only a minor hesitation, "It's a tragedy what happened, and I'm sure something can be worked out." Clarke didn't comment upon it, but he seemed really unsure.

Raven was sitting solidly by him, and Murphy even let Finn sit on his other side, something he hadn't let Bellamy or Clarke do.

"We want to adopt him." Mrs. Collins' voice rose from near the wall, and Jaha turned to look at her along with Clarke's parents.

"What?"

"We…we want to take him in." Mr. Collins said a little louder, confirming his wife's statement, "It's rarely done, sure, but it has been done. It will be tight but we'll make it work." He said, and in that moment Clarke truly understood what kind people they were.

"As you said, it's just a tragedy. He deserves something good in his life, don't you say?"

Jaha, Abby, and Jake were all equally stunned.

"But…why?" Jake questioned, "Do you even know the kid?"

"We know Raven is fond of him," Mr. Collins smiled in his direction, "And Raven's hardly fond of anyone. She is like our daughter too, and if she thinks so highly of him, he defiantly deserves another chance."

Clarke slipped away as the adults continued to discus how this would go, and how her parents could help with the new addition to her their family. She saw Bellamy standing guard protectively over Murphy, and nodded to Clarke. He may not like to admit it, but he cared deeply about all his friends, and she was sure losing a parent knocked some other things loose inside his head.

Finn was in the kitchen, grabbing some water for Raven and Murphy. Clarke pushed herself onto the counter top.

"I hear you're getting a new brother." She said, tilting her head, curious to how he would respond.

"Oh, thank stars." He said, running a hand over his forehead, "I was the one that brought it up, you know." He said.

"Really?" This truly surprised Clarke.

"Yeah. I'd do anything to make Raven happy. And losing that kid to something that would have come out of this would kill her." There was a tinge of longing in his voice, something that Clarke had heard in someone else's tone somewhere, but couldn't place it.

"And you're getting a brother." Clarke repeated, raising an eyebrow. The word felt foreign on here tongue.

"I don't hate him, not completely." Finn said, "I tolerate him like everyone else. But second chances, right?"

"Your whole family seems to have a thing about second chances." Clarke snorted; grabbing the extra glass he couldn't carry himself.

"It's not done often on this Ark, so we try to make them happen wherever we can."

The legality of the choice went quicker than usual; Clarke knew Jaha had a heavy hand in that, and although it would be unfair for the Chancellor to play favorites, it was quite unusual that Murphy was able to bunk up with the Collins so quickly. A construction worker who had been friends with Alex Murphy built a bunk above Finn's and Clarke's somehow managed to procure John's old mattress from his bunk.

Clarke took it upon herself to organize people to routinely check up on Murphy. While Finn didn't dislike his new 'brother', it wasn't fair to expect him to be mentally there for him every hour of the day. Plus, Murphy had grown on her, and she'd be damned if she let him go through this transition alone. Many others agreed.

"He's sort of like mold. Grows on you over time, and also pretty interesting." Jasper said, which wasn't exactly the comparison Clarke would have had, but it was acceptable.

Raven spent more time with the Collins than she ever had, but on the times she was unavailable, a few people who had offered would hang out with them too. Clarke started it up, Bellamy joined a second after, Jasper and Monty agreed quicker than she'd expected, and Miller was the last to say he didn't mind going over there. It was three more people than she'd thought she would get, so she was relieved. It was imperative to her that they prove to Murphy that he would never be alone, even if his parents were dead.

Somewhere, Murphy knew what they were all doing, but he'd never said anything about it, and Clarke thought maybe he sort of liked it.

Bellamy took a lot of the 'shifts' that Raven couldn't make. He wasn't sure if it was because he understood the problem Murphy faced on a deeper level, or if he felt a twinge of sympathy for Finn. Finn wasn't his favorite person, and on any given day he'd actually chose Murphy over Finn, but the sudden appearance of a sibling was something he understood well…even if he could never say. He figured Finn was his job to watch as well as Murphy's. If Octavia had been shoved at him at the age she was now, he might have gone mad.

Nine days after his mother had died, Bellamy found himself trailing the familiar path to where Raven, Finn, and Murphy lived. Raven was dragging her mother out of some awful place to bring her back to her apartment, so she couldn't be there with them.

The door was open, and he saw Finn twisting metal figurines on his bed, his past time.

"Where's John?"

"Uhh…" Finn looked up, wincing, "I got a little involved in my work. He said he was going out…somewhere…" Finn bit his lip, "Dunno, I'm sure it's just to get some more water or something, my mom said we'd run out today." He shrugged, not worried.

Bellamy was not quite so convinced. He bit the inside of his cheek in annoyance, and spun on his heels. He checked the water station first, but found no Murphy, and no one said anything about him coming by in the last half-hour.

He ran into Raven in the halls.

"Did you find your mom?" He asked. She winced, but then frowned.

"Aren't you supposed to be with John?"

"He wasn't there when I arrived. Finn was too busy making a zoo to notice him leave."

"What?" Raven's eyes widened, and Bellamy felt a swell of relief. Someone else understood that John wandering off after an event like this wasn't something to be calm about, "We need to find him."

"What about your mom?"

"She can wait. The worst that will happen is she'll have another flask of moonshine…whatever." Raven waved off is concerns with an air of blasé, "My concern is John."

"Where do you think he'd-," Bellamy began to ask, but his eyes lit up with realization the same time Raven's did. They exchanged looks, "No…you don't think."

"If everything was taken away from me so quickly, I'd want to try to get it back too, wouldn't you?" Raven asked softly.

They ran through the halls back to Murphy's old station, ignoring three people that berated them for nearly knocking people over in their haste.

The yellow warning tape that had been pinned up over his old house's door had been ripped down, and the door was open. There was nothing munch in the house at this point, everything taken out to be re-sold, taken by the Collins, or burned because it was beyond use, but the carcass of the house would obviously remain.

"John?" Raven pushed open the door without waiting, "He's not here." She spun to Bellamy angrily, although he realized her anger was a projection of her fear.

"But he was here." Bellamy touched the broken tape, and saw a couple drawers on a build-in-desk were ajar.

"Bellamy…" Raven's voice quivered, "The fuel line for the kitchen is broken." She was standing next to the cabinet that was usually locked, and it had been broken into. The fuel line for the stove was snipped, and gas dripped onto the wood floor, but mostly, it was empty.

"Matches!" Bellamy said suddenly, "I remember seeing them in this drawer. I mean, it could have been taken out, but if it wasn't….oh, fuck." Bellamy said running both his hands through his hair.

"We got to find him!" Raven pushed past Bellamy, "He's making a mistake."

"If I were going to do something like this…what would I do, though?" Bellamy thought out loud.

"It's obvious, Blake!" Raven huffed, "He's going to the guard that took his dad in."

It wasn't obvious to Bellamy, but he trusted Raven's words. They knew the guard lived somewhere on Agro Station, and they pushed through the crowds of people. Dinner rations had just been released, and the station lay behind them, so they fought against entire families from the Agro Station of people eagerly getting their dinner.

"There!" Bellamy pointed to someone turning a bend a couple yards in front of he and Raven. John Murphy looked shifty, with his hands stuffed into his pockets and his hood thrown up on his head.

When they caught up to Murphy, they found him staring at a puddle of liquid on the floor that flowed under the doorframe and a singular match between his fingers.

"John!" Raven flung herself between the door and her friend, "What the hell are you doing?"

"Move aside, Raven." Murphy muttered, "I need to do this."

"What? Make the biggest regret of your life? Have the blood of three people on your hands?" She demanded.

Murphy recoiled as though he'd been slapped.

"You think I'm trying to kill him?" He asked, sounding shocked and very much offended, "He's on duty, his wife is getting dinner, and his son is in school. I'm not a murderer!"

"We never thought you were." Bellamy said softly, trying to diffuse the situation. John swung around, noticing Bellamy there as well.

"Ah, King Bellamy is here to save the day." He sneered, "Where's your Princess?"

"She's not my-," Bellamy began to object, but stopped, realizing he was straying from the main focus, "John, what's this going to accomplish?"

"It will take away their home, everything they have. It's what happened to me, shouldn't they deserve that to?" He asked dully, twiddling the match between his fingers.

"It's not his fault he arrested your dad, John. He was just doing his job." Raven said firmly, placing two hands on either side of his face. He stared at her, and his stony façade began to shatter.

"If it's not his, then his death is my fault. It has to be his, Raven." He said, shaking.

"I'm not going to try to tell you it's no one's fault." Raven said softly, logically, "But it's not between you or the guard. And even if it were, do you really think doing this would make you feel any better?" She asked, "They'd figure out it was you. Is your revenge worth the rest of your life, because you're going to end up in the Sky Box and then you'll be floated." Her voice was shaky and very close to tears.

"I know it would." Murphy said, "Because I can't stay feeling like this, so I have to do something, and this is what I should do." Despite his tense tone, he didn't push her away.

"You still blame yourself." Raven said, and Bellamy watched as something was shared between their eyes, something he couldn't understand.

John spoke after a long moment, his voice raspy, "How could I not? Do you know what my mom told me…the day she died? She told me it was my fault, she blamed me, and if I hadn't gotten sick…my dad would still be around. She told me she hated me and she'd rather I had died than my dad."

"Fuck, John." Bellamy murmured, "You never-,"

"Told you guys? How could I? Maybe she's right. Even so, I didn't want your pity!"

"No." Raven's fury in her voice startled Bellamy, and it seemed to have the same effect on Murphy, "You're worth a thousand times more than what your mother said. You can't help getting sick, and your father loved you enough to risk everything for you. She's jealous because of how much he loved you. And you are never allowed to say that you deserve to die, okay?" She said.

The waver in her voice seemed to break Murphy, and he dropped the match as his legs buckled under him. Raven caught him gently, helping him to his knees on the ground, holding him steady.

"I didn't even know if I could do it." He admitted, "I was trying to convince myself to just light the damn thing when you arrived."

"You're a good person, that's why. Your everything your father was." Raven whispered, trying to hide her own tears by burrowing her face into the top of his head.

Then, for the first time since his father had been floated, Murphy cried.

Bellamy excused himself, feeling embarrassed, as though he'd stumbled upon a deeply intimate scene. And perhaps he had.

He knew what love was, of course. He knew that there were pure forms of love in this world, although rare. His mother's love for his sister and himself, that family love, was in his opinion one of those rare things. But the love that people dreamed about, the love of sharing yourself with someone else and everything that came with that, he didn't really know if he could recognize it. It was never a secret his sister and himself were from two different fathers, and so his mother wasn't a great example on that type of love. When he first met Clarke's parents, he thought maybe this was what it was.

But the realization, looking at Murphy and Raven, that nearly bowled him over was that he had been wrong. This, their love, even if they didn't say it out loud, was the closet thing yet to that pure true passionate love. It wasn't perfect, because it was hard to find pure love, but it was the closet thing he'd even seen, and they were hardly teenagers. He would have never pegged the two grumpiest people he knew to be his example on love, but that was what really told him it was the truth. When they were together, and no one was watching, they were two entirely new people, changed for the better.

Clarke arrived soon, out of breath, with Finn. He'd gone to find her as soon as Bellamy didn't return within a timely manner with John.

Clarke took one look at the puddle on the floor, Bellamy standing and looking awkward with his hands in his pocket, and the interlocked fallen figures of Raven and Murphy. She took action.

She instructed people to clean up the fluid as best as possible, and helped Bellamy drag Murphy away. Raven didn't leave his side that night, and even Mr. Collins let it slide when they fell asleep in his bunk that night.

"I'm so sorry." Finn tried to apologize to Raven, "I was so caught up and-,"

"He could have done something awful. I know it's a hard change, Finn, but did you even notice he felt all this?"

"He's good at hiding it."

She tilted her head, "It's pretty obvious to me." No one had the heart to tell her she was the only one that saw right through John Murphy. Even Clarke admitted to Bellamy she couldn't have seen this coming. No one really blamed Finn.

Later that night, lying in his bunk awake because Octavia's foot was digging into his back, he thought about what might have happened if no one had caught Murphy.

Not even Jaha's protection would have been able to prevent sending him to the Sky Box, and likely on his 18th birthday his execution would have occurred, just as Raven had said. He hadn't really thought through her words until now, when his mind wasn't racing. It made his whole body shiver with a cold sweat for a moment, and then he relaxed, because Murphy was fine…he wasn't going there, not today, not ever. He managed to get to sleep that night, knowing at least in his own thoughts that maybe he they have saved that kid today.

Three days later, Murphy thanked Bellamy privately, and added that if he ever told anyone he was grateful or he wasn't perceived as a porcupine with a headache (Bellamy's own paraphrasing, of course), John would punch him. All things considered, Bellamy was pleased with this, despite his threats. It meant he was beginning to heal. He never told Murphy, or Clarke for that matter, but that day on, he made himself promise he'd watch Murphy in case he ever needed someone besides Raven…Bellamy didn't know if he could lose a friend, and that's exactly what John Murphy was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So obviously in this chapter I think we really start to see the ramifications of the Project directly affecting the original timeline. Obviously in the show, Murphy would have succeeded burning the house and put into the Sky Box...But what a change that the Collins adopted him!
> 
> If you guys liked the bit about the group ALMOST playing poker, you should go check out one of my other Bellarke stories (it's a one-shot) called 'Can't Read My Poker Face'. It's a Season 1 AU on the ground where the delinquents actually do get around to playing poker and naughty things happen ;) Leave a review if you like it!
> 
> I mean, I think obviously you all can see that I love the bromance of Bellamy/Murphy but one of my other favorite bromances is also Jasper/Murphy. I mean, you might all be going 'what?' but someone pointed out that in the 'Join or Die' episode when Pike was beating up Murphy, Jasper was one of the first to protest it and try to help Murphy, and on the first day on the ground, Murphy helped Jasper. I think these two are a fun dynamic to do!
> 
> Also! If you want to see any specific scenes upon the Ark (not like, big things but the kids doing cute things or something) I'm looking for just a couple things to fill an upcoming chapter or two, so I'd like to year y'alls input about what you'd like to see!
> 
> So, why the early update? In three days, I will be getting onto a plane and going to Italy to study abroad for six weeks. I don't really know when I'll be able to update again, I mean I hope I'll have wifi, but you never know...If I get a lot of reviews, it might encourage me to update the day I leave (Sunday) but even so, no promises, but reviewing would certainty help me chose to spend the little time I have left to do that! Next chapter Bellamy chooses his job!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M IN FLORENCE, ITALY! I'm all good, guys. Settled in, had my first week of classes, and now I FINALLY have some downtime. But I'm not complaining that I've been a little busy ;) I'm just constantly amazed; if you live in the US, it's so odd that at literally every turn here is another historical building or statue...they're just everywhere...and all of them never cease to amaze me...lordy I have to walk by the Duomo everyday and each time I see it it literally takes my breath away :)

7 years after start of the program

Bellamy looked at himself in the dingy mirror by the door before he left that morning. He wasn't sure why, but in all it was about to be the start of a momentous moment in his life, and somehow he felt like he might not look the same after it all was said and done. Maybe, silly as it was, he wanted to look at himself-as a 'child'- one last time before he plunged into what it meant to be an adult here.

His mother seemed to notice his hesitation, and came up behind him, brushing his hair back and settling her chin on his shoulder. Now, at 17, he was far too tall for her to rest her own head on his like she did when he was little.

"You ready?" She questioned, "It's a big day."

"Of course I'm ready." He mumbled, shaking her off of him, a little embarrassed, "I mean, it's not that big of a deal."

"Of course it is!" His mother scolded, "It's a huge deal."

"Yeah, especially because I'll never know that feeling." Octavia huffed from his bed, falling dramatically back down onto it. Now that she was 12, and entering the dreaded teenage years, she was surly almost all the time and usually quite bitter. Often it was over something ridiculous, like Bellamy's fries being slightly more salted than hers were, or that she broke a nail while hiding during a 'random' room check. Her anger today was justified though, because it broke Bellamy's heart. He felt bad at once. She wouldn't ever get this chance.

Now that she was growing up, the reality of the situation was on his mind all the time. It was all fine and okay to hide her as a child, but a life living secretly wasn't a life at all. Was it right to really condemn his sister to a life in his room, to live and die here and never really see anything ever?

In his weakest moments, such as when he was talking excitedly about something and her eyes dimmed and he slowed down enough to realize that she had no idea what he was describing and she never could, he wondered if maybe the better option was to fess up? His mom would be floated, and Octavia would be sent to the Sky Box but at least now, under 18, she'd have a chance with a review board to be pardoned, which was the best option she had.

But to think he was weighing his mother's life, and possibly Octavia's on a random thought killed him. He would feel guilty about it for days after that.

"Technically, you're a seamstress with mom." Bellamy said, "You've taken over half her work load and one one's noticed a difference yet!" It was the truth. Aurora had taught her daughter well, and her skills were a match for her mother's. Bellamy knew this wasn't something Octavia was happy about for she was far to jittery to really be pleased doing such menial work.

"I don't even know what I'd be if I got the chance." She muttered, rolling into a ball on the bed. His sister was a strong person, and usually anger replaced her misery, but that sentence made her seem so broken, so vulnerable…

Aurora looked at her, her face resting into the frown she was wearing much more often, unable to help her daughter's pain. His friendship with Clarke did a lot, even if she didn't know it. It gave Octavia things she could only dream of. It gave his family a little extra money so that his mother didn't have to resort to her usual dalliances, and could spend more time with them. It was a protection that he hoped they'd never have to use. He tried to imagine how much worse it would be for the three of them if he had never become Clarke's friend, and it was unimaginable. Not only because of all the nice things that would vanish, but because she was his best friend, despite their age differences still. He didn't trust anyone, not even his own family, in the way he trusted her.

Aurora turned back to Bellamy, trying to erase any sign of her sadness away, for this was usually a day mothers and fathers celebrated with their children. Bellamy was used to his feelings being pushed to the wayside to keep Octavia happy. It might bother another kid, but he would give up anything for his sister. Feelings were a small price. Besides, she needed their mother far more than he did.

"You should go. You don't want to be late to school. Mess up that perfect attendance record." She said, patting his shoulder, a hint of a joke with it.

"The teachers would surly come knocking down the doors it that happened, wondering if I was dying or something." He said, but his laughter was a little forced, "I'm going, I'm going."

He cast one last troubled look back at Octavia, before finally forcing himself to leave.

He met up with Benny Edl at one of the crossroads. His friend's fiery red hair was spiked, and he was practically bouncing up and down. Coffee was a rather rare beverage here, not particularly useful nutrition wise so it was only grown sporadically, but it seemed like Benny- on good days- had down a gallon of it. It was harshly juxtaposed to his bad days, when he was lethargic and as bright as a black hole. Clarke had said in a detached sort of way he was 'Bipolar', words that didn't mean a whole lot to Bellamy, and even less could be done about it. There were records that back on earth they'd had medicine to help with such things, but it didn't exist here anymore.

It was luckily on such a week like this he was on one up his up swings. Bellamy always wished there was something he could do for his friend, but alas, other than just being there, there wasn't much.

"Man, can't believe this day's come." Benny said, "My mom fucking cried, man. Like, I don't want to deal with that this early. Your mum all sad too?"

"Yeah." Bellamy answered, although Aurora wasn't sad for the reason most other moms were sad, not entirely at least.

"I mean, it's not like we're leaving or anything. Stars, can't imagine what my mom will be like on my wedding day. She cries at everything!" He shook his head.

"It's a big step." Bellamy shrugged, "You got any idea on what you're going to chose?"

"No way." Benny laughed, "You'd think an entire year to think on it would have prepared me, ya know? But I'm still going in there blind. Hopefully I got a couple options."

"You're from Power Station. Even with no help, you'll do okay." Bellamy said, sighing in resignation, "A lot more choices than I'll have."

"Man, shit, I'm sorry." Benny said, "I forgot that-,"

"Hey, whatever. I'm good at adapting."

They had reached the entrance to the classroom. He could tell Benny felt awful, but dropped the subject, mostly because Bellamy would bit his head off if he talked to him during class. Bellamy was a straight A student, and he wasn't going to let noisy talkers change anything, even if this was his last week of classes. In was a quiet realization that everything, all his efforts to be good and get the grades any parent would be proud of, lead up to this week. And, soon, they might not matter at all.

He wasn't sure what he would pick either, even if he got all the choices on the Ark. He was caught between duty to his family and the wants of his soul. He knew it was a problem many young people grappled with.

Today was the day that they would choose their jobs that they would likely stay with for the rest of their lives. Anyone who didn't take today seriously was an idiot.

There was a well-defined system upon the Ark to take the children through this stage of their lives. When you were in your 16th year, you went to school in the beginning of the day and you toured the jobs on the Ark the rest of the day. There were over 150 possible jobs you could be placed into, and you saw them all. You were supposed to begin to judge them, and they were judging you. The leaders of each job gained teacher's notes, behavioral comments, grades, and basically everything they had on you. They looked at what they needed or would need and made their choices as well. It was a mutual selection process, and as Jaha always said, there was a job for everyone, even if it wasn't clear of wasn't what you originally wanted.

For some, it was painfully obvious where they'd end up, like with Clarke and becoming a doctor. She wasn't the only one though. It would feel like a betrayal if in about five years Jezelia wasn't a chef or if Hendrick wasn't offered the now-open meteorologist chair.

For a lot of people, it wasn't that easy, nor was simply wanting something.

The ugly truth of it was that a lot of times, people chose within their stations. It was one of the biggest complaints of unhappy people, one gripe that Bellamy could align himself with. He, as the lowest station, might only get five or six options, and most of those would be scummy or dangerous work. People like Clarke would get nearly everything opened up to her. It was the way this worked, and he despised it, as did many others. He had never felt so embarrassed as the day he had to explain it to Clarke when she was shocked that he didn't think he'd get a lot of offers.

When they entered the after school room, and saw their futures in white envelopes, he knew he wasn't the only 17-year-old who froze. The offers would be in those lists, and two days from now, they'd be submitting their final choices and that would be the end of their school days as they knew it.

This, the after school group, wouldn't end. It had long ago stopped being sanctioned and more was an accessible room to hang out with friends. He couldn't imagine not coming here to see people like Miller, Jasper, or Murphy.

"Do you want me to just read it out loud to you and get it done with?" Clarke broke him from his thoughts. She was holding the envelope in front of him, taunting him, "Or are you too scared?"

"It's a scary thing." He said, snatching it away, but didn't open it. All over the room, other kids his age had already tore open the seals and had given moans or sighs of relief.

"Can't be worse than what you're imagining." Murphy said, sounding bored, "Can you get it over with so we can go back to normal and all? All this 'adult' talk makes me want to gag."

"You're not too far off." Raven teased. He pulled a face.

"Longer away than you. You'll obviously be a zero-gravity mechanic." He said. Raven was another one whose job was clear, if she were a higher-up station holder, that is. She tried to not let her smile falter.

"We'll see."

"Just open the damn thing." Monty said, "I'm so curious?"

"In due-," Bellamy began to say, but Jasper had already snatched it from his fingers and tore it open unceremoniously, "-time."

"Just look at it, won't you?"

Bellamy took in a deep breath. He didn't want to admit to everyone how terrified he was that he'd be disappointed about what lay out in front of him. He saw Clarke give him a reassuring smile out the corner of his eye, and that was all it took for him to be able to look down.

"Holy shit."

"What?" Jasper tried to lean over the sheet of paper, "Don't leave us a-hanging!"

"I just…" Bellamy's brow furrowed, "I have nearly thirty offers." That was more than he'd ever heard a Factory Station kid getting. Some people had tall tales about it, but damn.

"Yay!" Clarke clapped her hands, and took the list from him. She was the only person he had been willing to let do that, "You got some really good choices." She said.

"It seems like you have a personal favorite." He said, seeing how her eyes were glued to one.

"Perhaps." She said, but he had a feeling she wasn't going to say, not yet. He was a little glad; Clarke was the one person that might have the ability to sway him. He had already zoned in on two, and already his logical side and his emotional side were battling it out.

"Man!" Benny came swaging up, "Not a bad handful for me." He said, "Twenty-three." He said proudly. Bellamy couldn't help the smug smile on his face held up his own.

"Thirty."

"What?" Benny dropped his own page in surprise, "Yo, Princess? Did you pull some strings for your guy Bellamy here?" He asked, slinging an arm around Bellamy's shoulders and looking at Clarke. She turned red.

"He's not 'my guy', first off." She said.

"And second?" Everyone leaned in, curious now.

"There is no second, actually." She said, biting her lip.

"You didn't answer his question, though." Jasper said.

"I think I did." She said, and from Wells disapproving frown, Bellamy did truly wonder if she had pulled some strings. He found himself not caring, but instead feeling ridiculously happy that anyone would put in such effort so he actually had a decent choice. The fact that it was Clarke made him glow a bit brighter.

When he brought the sheet home to show his mother, she was only searching for one offer. As soon as she saw it, she handed it back.

"You know the choice to make, don't you?" She said softly, "The right one, Bellamy."

He did, and he was starting to hate it. His heart couldn't just let this one go, no matter how hard he tried to detach himself from the idea of what he could be. This battle continued for two days.

By the time the Griffins invited him to dinner to celebrate his last day as a 'kid', he was grateful. He felt as though he wasn't capable on deciding this all on his own, and needed the perspective of someone who would be unbiased to his choice. Also, he had a burning question to ask them.

Halfway through dinner, he gained the courage.

"Mr and Dr. Griffin…I have to ask. Did you have a hand in getting me so many offers?" He questioned. Clarke's parents shared impish grins.

"We hardly had to do anything Bellamy, you're a good kid." Jake said with a quiet chuckle.

"I just…I know I wouldn't have gotten any of these good ones without some sort of help." Bellamy said, "So, thank you. Really."

"You would have done just fine on your own." Abby patted his shoulder; "You're the top student in your class. Good attendance, stellar grades, and being a good person is rewarded, you know?"

He bit his tongue, for this may be true for the top percent of the kids here, but he felt she was woefully unaware of the true nature of life for him. Clarke seemed uncomfortable at her words, now that he had told her the stigma against Factory Level kids, even if he was top of his class.

"We wanted you to have the most choices. You deserve that much." Jake added, seeing Bellamy's awkward smile, "And, like I said, I didn't do much. Just dropped your name once or twice. People know you." He pointed a fork, "You any closer to deciding? Clarke said you were having a tough time."

"Yeah, still am." He rubbed the back of his neck. His mother would tell him the choice was easy, but it wasn't, not to him, "It's between the position on the Guard and the teaching position."

"Honestly," Clarke set her fork down, speaking up for the first time the meal, "I'm surprised it's not already chosen! You're meant to be a teacher, Bell!" He had a feeling she'd fought to get him this offer.

"She's right, you'd be great." Jake agreed.

"I don't know." Bellamy gave a long sigh, wishing he could explain things to her. Getting on the guard would open so many doors to keeping his sister safe and bettering their lives in general. The pros were innumerable; his mother might not have to sleep with guardsmen so often because he might become privy to these 'random' searches, he could steer suspicion away from having a sister, he could even create diversions or other methods to keep her safe for last ditch efforts. But the thought of doing something he'd wake up everyday and be so happy to do it…

"You can tell your students all the stories you've told me. They'd love them as much as I do, really." Clarke said, "And my dad learned that the history professor is stepping down, so you could teach everything that you love."

"Really?" Bellamy perked up, but then his face turned into a frown again, "I don't' know…my mom is just really gunning for me to take the guard position…" He added, which wasn't a lie.

"Well, I could see you being a good guardsmen." Abby said, "I almost didn't have to say anything, they were already considering you. My faith in you just helped them decide. I told them you were a leader, and they're always looking for that. It's what would make you a good teacher though, too. Or a politician, and I almost told Jaha to put down an offer, but I couldn't see you there unless you were representing a career."

"Leader?" Clarke scrunched her nose, "I thought they needed kids that could follow orders?"

"Well, of course. But eventually all the current higher-ups will move on, and they'll need someone capable to lead the guard when they're not there anymore." Jake said, "You're pretty good friends with Nate Miller, he's talked about you to his dad more than once, and you know his dad has quite a lot of pull. Abby placed your name in front of Shumway, and I guess one of his Inspectors- Grubs or something- had already done the same."

Bellamy tried not to wince. The only reason that the Inspector had done so was because his mother had sex with him in return for that favor. He hoped that since the Griffins had made it their mission to get him a good choice, she'd done significantly less than she would have had to without them. And how could he refuse this, not when his mother went to so much trouble?

"It's a dangerous pick, though." Bellamy said, speaking of what he'd heard of the Guard.

"I'm not concerned about you finding it difficult." Jake said, his lips pulled into a wide grin.

While the Guardsmen accepted the most kids out of any profession, the training cadets when through were also rigorous and unforgiving and usually only the top twenty or so made it through. If you had been a cadet and were let go, your job choices were even slimmer than before. You had to be confident that you had what it took, because with even the smallest twinge of doubt, you wouldn't survive. It was also just a dangerous job by nature, and sometimes you were killed doing your duty. It wasn't all the time, or even often, but all the other jobs were generally safe, so even once and awhile was a huge difference.

"Whatever you decide we will support you with." Abby declared, "You'll make the right choice for you."

Bellamy left dinner feeing even more conflicted. Clarke's parents were so insistent that people should chose what they wanted and not what their parents expected of them, because otherwise they were miserable. But they couldn't possibly judge his situation, as it was unique, and he wouldn't hate being a guard. He just knew he wouldn't love it the way he'd love being a teacher.

He purposely avoided going home and instead found a quiet alcove to sit in, staring at his hands and wondering what in the world he was going to decide.

But he couldn't stay there forever. It was nearly curfew soon, and to be caught by the guards would likely mean that they'd retract their offer, and the worst thing would be a choice being taken away from him before he could ever decide. Besides, he'd have to explain to his mother why he was dinking around instead of home and he didn't want to let on how difficult this choice was for him.

This was the beginning of adulthood, they always said. But he didn't feel like an adult at all, nor prepared to go into a job he would be in for the rest of his life. But he didn't feel like there could have ever been enough help from the Ark to prepare him for such a choice.

His mother was already asleep when he returned, which he was grateful for. He slipped into bed, careful not to wake Octavia, but he just couldn't sleep. He stared at his wall, wide-awake.

"Bell?" Octavia's voice was so soft he almost thought he was imagining it. He turned around, and saw her scrunched up in a ball, just as awake as he was.

"Hey, O, you should be asleep." He said.

"Don't worry about me. How was Clarke's?"

"Good." He whispered back, "Like always."

There was a long pause.

"Have you decided on a job yet?"

He gave a long sigh, staring at the thin cotton blanket they shared.

"No." He couldn't lie to his sister; he'd never been able to even get the tiniest lie past her. Soon, it because more reasonable just to be honest, "Mom thinks it should be easy. Maybe she's right…" He expected another bitter response that even though her age group would be deciding in five years, she never would be, but it never came. Instead, she played with a loose thread on her sleeve. He could tell she was trying to find the right words for something, so he waited.

"Bellamy," She rarely used his full name, so he listened closely, "Don't chose the guard."

"What?" He said a little louder than he intended, and both he and his sister lay frozen for a couple moments, waiting to see if they'd woken their mother, but luckily she was fast asleep still.

"Just…" She pressed a finger to her temple; "You've given up everything for me. You never can have friends over, you have to give up half of everything you get, you never get to be fully satisfied with a meal unless you go to Clarke's…" She met his gaze, "I'm not stupid, Bell, I know what me being your sister means."

"Octavia, I would never-," He began to say, wanting to try to make her understand that he would gladly give those things up for her, a thousand times over.

"You don't care." She finished for him, giving a weak smile, "I know. That's why you shouldn't choose it. Fuck mom, you know? This is your life, one that will eventually leave ours. You should be allowed to be happy. You'll make a great teacher."

"But you-,"

"Don't worry about me. You've given me everything, I can't ask for anything more. We will survive. We have up until now, right?" She whispered, and leaned forward to kiss his forehead, "Make the right choice for you, Bell." She murmured, lazily rolling over, clearly settled enough to sleep.

Bellamy, on the other hand, would stare at the ceiling all night.

When morning came, he pretty much knew his answer.

His palms were sweaty walking to the classroom, where it would be a short day, just long enough for each student in his grade year to meet with someone on the council that would record their official choice, and then they'd be done with school…forever.

"You ready?" Benny clapped his back, "I think I got it all figure out."

"Me too." He gave a weak smile.

In all, there were ten people from the afterschool group graduating in his year. They sat alphabetically today and it sat him next to a kid he only knew by name, and Marten Cottingham, someone from his group. Naturally, he turned to Marten. As he did, he contemplated how years ago, before the group and all; he might not have had the courage or even want to talk to anyone. He wondered how lonely his life might just be if this hadn't started up, or if his life maybe would have been led to a different path.

"Blake, you ready?" Marten asked, leaning back in his chair. The line was moving steadily, and soon it would be his turn. He almost wished he could have had a 'z' last name, somewhere in the back.

"If I said no, wouldn't change much." He said, "You got good choices for your offers?"

"What I expected." Marten waved a dismissive hand, "It's in the family, you know? Don't really think I'd go anywhere else."

"Water works, then?" Bellamy recalled Marten was from Hydra station. Just because some people fell outside of where their parents worked didn't mean everyone did.

"Been shadowing my parents since I was like seven. At least I'll go into it knowing what I'm doing." Marten didn't sound all too convinced.

"But really, if you could pick anything, what would it be?" Bellamy asked, lowering his voice, and Marten shrugged.

"I never thought of anything else." He admitted, "What about you, Blake? I hope you got at least a few good offers." He said with sympathy.

"I got enough." Bellamy knew that he meant no ill-will to assume he might be lacking in choices, since most from Factory would, but his assumption still hit a nerve.

"Will you be happy?" Marten turned the question he'd been getting to around. Bellamy contemplated his choice he would say when he walked in there. He gave a smile.

"Yeah. I will."

"Good." This seemed to relax Marten, "At least one of us is sure."

Not even a moment after, his teacher was calling his name. He walked into the little side-room and was greeted by Clarke's mother.

"Abby, I mean-," He said, and tried to backtrack when he noticed Jaha sitting beside her.

"It's fine, son." Jaha raised a hand, "I know that you are close with Clarke's family."

"Chancellor." Bellamy wondered what was so monumental about their class that the chancellor himself was in attendance?

"So, Bellamy." Abby said, bringing up his file, "What have you chosen?"

"The guard." Bellamy said, and he tried to read Abby's face for disappointment, but she had a neutral expression.

"The guards will greatly benefit a mind like yours." Jaha said, which was all that was said upon the subject. The rest of the meeting was times to report back, rules of his new position in short, and other very political like things. When he signed the contract, his fingers didn't even shiver.

The choice really was easy. On his way home last night, he'd been nearly positive he was going to chose to be a teacher. But when Octavia opened up, begging him to chose that other job, he realized she was willing to give up safety for his happiness. And for a selfish moment, he was going to take it. But the more he thought about it, the more he realized that just because he was a guardsman didn't mean he wouldn't ever teach anything again. And it was the best of both worlds. It was a compromise, at least. He was willing to do that much for someone he loved so very much.

As he was let out through a side door and into the halls, the reality of the situation struck him. He was done with school forever, and he was now a cadet in the Guard.

While on his way to the after-school area, he ran into the very person he was hoping to find eventually.

"Chief Miller!" He said, nearly bowling over Nate's father.

"Bellamy! I just got the update." The chief was grinning ear to ear, "I don't like to admit I play favorites, but I was hoping so very much you'd chose our little slice of life on the Ark." He said, "Miller speaks highly of you, and your grades speak for themselves."

"I actually wanted to talk to you about that." Bellamy said, biting his lip. He was glad he ran into Miller instead of Shumway, because the latter was more stern and less likely to hear his request with respect. Also, he felt safer telling Chief Miller his true feelings.

"I'm all ears." Chief Miller said, motioning for him to continue.

"The choice was hard. Really hard. I think if circumstances had been different, even by one factor, I would have taken up a teaching job without a moment hesitation. But it's not, and I know I can be happy here, but…I'm a leader, I'm not a follower." The conversation at Clarke's house returned to him, "And…I know it's years and years away but there has to be a position of someone teaching something within the guard, and I don't know how frequently it opens, or if I'd need to go on a separate track, but I was hoping to make that possible one day. I really hope I don't sound arrogant, but I don't think I'd be content as a mindless gunman." He wondered if the last part was a little too brutally honest.

Miller studied him for a couple seconds.

"I appreciate your honestly." He began with, and then gave a smile, "And Blake, we never thought you'd be happy as a 'mindless gunman' either. Certain people are…well, we take an interest in them, see how they do in the first two years of training, and yes, we do pick out a special few to groom for certain jobs, one of them to train new cadets. I'm sure we would have picked you out eventually, but just do your best as a cadet, and I will keep this conversation in mind. Shumway believes you are capable of great things, Blake, don't let us down."

A relief washed over Bellamy. Maybe he could have both worlds?

"I won't, I promise."

"Bell?"

He turned to see Clarke around the corner, watching the exchange between him and Chief Miller with a crestfallen expression.

"Clarke." Miller nodded to her, and she barley gave a response. Bellamy felt as though he was approaching a fury as he came up to her.

"You picked the guard." She said, frowning. He knew that she had really done a lot to get him the teacher pick, and he felt awful.

"Yeah." He tried not to sound depressed, "You know, there were a lot of things going into the decision…complicated things." Did he ever wish he could just be honest with her, "I'm sorry. Are you upset with me?" He asked, cringing before she answered. A Clarke that was disappointed in him might be the worst thing he could imagine.

She looked taken aback.

"Upset?" She said, "Bellamy…" she put a hand on his arm, "I couldn't be upset. It's your life. I mean, I just thought you'd be so good as a teacher, I could really see it. You love teaching. This means that there has to be something holding you back, something swaying you. I understand there are probably some factors about choosing that I don't understand because you haven't told me. I'm not asking for you to tell me today…I just hope one day you'll trust me enough to tell me."

"Of course!" Bellamy answered before really considering it, yet the thought that he wouldn't tell her about Octavia one day seemed unreal. It was a certainty that one-way or another he would.

He stayed far longer than was usual in the room, dreading the reactions of the two women at home. It wasn't as though he was regretting his choice or he wasn't proud of his new job- in fact, nearly everyone had congratulated him on his choice (and he noticed nearly no one congratulated Marten, the new water worker), at least three people told him they felt safer now that he was on the guard, and Wells gave him his first compliment ever (saying that he couldn't imagine Bellamy doing anything more worthwhile). Still, he hung behind.

"Won't your mom be proud, though?" Clarke asked, noticing his hesitance.

"Of course." Bellamy said, but this wasn't who he was the most concerned about. Although he didn't know how his sister would find fault, he was sure she would.

Soon, he had to face the facts.

His mother newly bowled him over when he reached the door.

"Your guard outfit came! My son, a guardsmen!" She said, attacking him with kisses, messing up his hair.

"Hey, ma, be cool." He laughed, spying his jacket laying across a chair. A blossom of pride opened inside his chest.

"I'm going out. I've been saving my coins for a reason to celebrate, and this is enough. I am going to get the most delicious option they have tonight." She insisted, kissing him again, and left him alone with Octavia.

"How could you?"

"It was my choice, O." He said sternly, but reigned to the fact that he was correct about his sister.

"I told you to pick the teacher." She said, her voice rising a little, and he shushed her. These walls were pretty thin.

"It wasn't the right fit for me."

"Bullshit!" He startled, unsure of where she'd learned such a word, "Why couldn't you just do this one thing…for yourself?" She said.

"I didn't have to. And it will help-,"

"Me?" She finished.

"Well, of course it will."

"I don't need you coming to my rescue all the damn time, Bellamy!" Octavia grit out, "I hate being useless!"

"You're not useless. I don't feel bad about choosing the guard. I want this."

Octavia was close to tears, but she was desperately holding them in, her eyes puffy and face bright red. "So if I wasn't around and you got these same choices, you're saying you wouldn't hesitate to pick the guard again?"

"Of course." He said, and it seemed convincing to himself, but as he had realized long ago, he couldn't lie to his sister. Her lip quivered even more, but it was with anger, not with sadness, "What's so wrong about wanting to do something for my baby sister?"

"The fact that you have one! The fact that you felt he need to 'do something' for me, when I never asked you to! You love being a martyr, don't you? You're going to complain about this for years to come, bring it up in spite when you're angry with me that you could have had it all. I am a burden, I am a life changer, I am sadness." She said, and then, so quietly he almost missed it, "I wish I had never been born."

"Octavia, please, don't say that." Bellamy begged, feeling tears spring to his eyes, and reaching forward but she swat his hand away. His mother opened the door to see both her children near tears, something wrapped in tinfoil balancing on her fingers.

"What is going on?" She asked as she locked the door behind her. Octavia refused to answer, just shoved back the table and opened the panel on the floor and crawled inside, something she rarely did willingly. If she could have left and stewed in her anger outside, she would have, but it was impossible.

"I'll go." Bellamy whispered, "You…I'll eat later. Talk to O." He whispered, his throat tight. His feet led him to Clarke's, although he didn't realize it until her mother was opening the door.

"Oh, Bellamy." She crooned, seeing his face, "Clarke!"

Clarke was there in a moment, pulling Bellamy in, and grabbing him a washcloth to wash his face with.

"Tell me what's wrong, why are you crying?" She sounded afraid. She'd never seen him cry, he realized. He opened his mouth.

That night, he almost told her. Instead, he found a different answer when the secret refused to leave his lips, no matter how hard he fought to let it out, one that wasn't all together untrue.

"I just realized I'm an adult, and it's sort of scary. What if everything changes? What if we're not…friends because I have a job and you're still in school?"

"Nothing will. I'll always be your friend, and you can always come here. I won't let you slip away from me that easily, Blake."

He gave a tiny smile and she grinned wide.

"See! You look better already. Why don't you come in? We can play chess and I might let you win."

Even if she didn't know, being with her, it almost made it all better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is anyone surprised? Did anyone think he'd end up choosing the teaching job instead? Let me know :)
> 
> Also, I'm getting to the part of the story (by the point that I've written up to at least) where children of the group start coming into play! Yes, children :) And although I already have the Bellarke child named, I'm just lazy and caught up in my studies here in Italy. So comment with some names, and I'll put them into a bowl and choose randomly for the couples, so you might get to see one of your names in future chapters ;) Feel free to give me as many as you want!
> 
> And gosh, who watched that finale of Regin and just URG. Got rid of one of my favorite characters to go on a 'soul journey' when HE NEEDS TO STAY WITH MARY, killing one, maybe killing another? I'm not even sure I want to watch the next season...sigh
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this :) I do hope I'll be able to update weekly, it seems I'll have the time. If I don't get around to every week, I sincerely apologize in advance, but wi-fi in Italy where I am is tricky and who knows what adventures I might get up to ;) Have a good weekend everyone!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone wishing me well in Italy :) I've had a pretty good second week in all! I've started actually developing my photos in a darkroom (one of my classes is basic photography) and I think they look sort of badass ;) But man if I had to develop all my photos like that, I wouldn't bother taking pictures anymore. It's a lot of work to do, especially since half of it is in the dark! My other class is a History of Fashion in Italy and we got to go to a fabric fair the other day, where people that make yarn basically bring their wares in and companies go to pick fabric to make their collection, so I got a 'first look' if you will at the colors that will be the 'in' colors for next season, along with trends. It was such an amazing experience, and really eye-opening. Plus, I got some free swag. Not much, but not complaining! I also got to go to the Pitti Palace which has the most AMAZING gardens there. If you're even in Florence, take a day for that. They're HUGE! I've also found a lot of really good restaurants, of course, including a mexican place (Lordy I was craving that) and a place that sells Dr. Pepper (my weakness XD). The only unfortunate thing is that I hate the taste of coffee and they don't really make chai lattes here.

The first six months of training was hard, if Bellamy was being completely honest. He woke up at 5:30 everyday, to be at the training center by 6:00 am. They stretched, and then did physical exercise for the next three hours, a variety of different methods from taking laps around the Ark to doing things like the climbing wall or lifting weights. They got an hour break to rest and shower up, and then until lunch at noon they went through the law book of the Ark in meticulous detail, usually taking quizzes on it. After the two-hour lunch the entire Ark enjoyed (except for when it was his turn to guard the Lunch hour, every first Tuesday of the month, and his dinner shift was every second Friday) they focused on skill work. This rotated between sparring with a partner, shooting a gun, going through different high risk scenarios to defuse, and doing puzzles or riddles to sharpen the thinking mind. This usually was the rest of the day, and they were done by five pm, because apart from the Lunch or Dinner shifts, cadets didn't patrol the ship until they were fully trained. By then, they'd get hours and it wouldn't be from 6 to 5, but a variety of times. Bellamy counted down the days.

The end of the day was always the most nerve-wracking. Their teachers would confer, and there was a great big board with the names of all the cadets that had chosen the guard's life. They had begun with fifty candidates. There was only room for 20. The teachers would arrange their names by how well they'd done today, and the culling of the lower students could come at any moment. By the end of the first year, they'd be down to twenty and the second year of the training would be more tailored to what kind of guards work would best suit them.

Even thought Bellamy had stayed solidly within the top eight (it would be five, but not everyone had perfect days, obviously), he never lost the fear that one day he'd mess up really badly and the would be the end of it. It had happened to more than one kid, so it wasn't an unrealistic fear. But maybe that acute fear was what kept him going and made him a good cadet.

One other student from his group had chosen to be a guard with him, Ana W. He liked her immensely.

First off, there was never any question of 'something' between them, just because it might be assumed since he was boy and she was a girl. Somehow, they both just knew it wasn't meant to be, and neither had truly felt anything for each other besides friendship. And although Ana was a laughable 5-foot nothing else, and weighed less than 100 pounds, and had a face that resembled a sad kitten, they had learned early on not to underestimate her. She was, in fact, better than most the male cadets and dirtier than them too. She had the most shocking jokes, and swore with the ease of all the teenage boys. She could fit in with them as easily as she could the girls, but preferred the company of her men, and (besides Bellamy) had already almost slept her way through the first year Cadets. He could, from a view outside, acknowledge the fact she was hot, but she'd never really made him go red like the other cadets. He didn't obsess over it too much.

She was…something else.

The only thing he didn't like about her was that she had very loud and vocal ideas about the government, and some of the older guards had grumbled about her, worrying that any guard that disliked their way so much might not make the best guard. But everyone was entitled to his or her own opinion, and besides this, she was a good person to befriend in this draining sort of work. She stayed within the top five recruits. Perhaps, if she was a shit guard, it would be easy to out her for her opinions, but she was good and you couldn't turn away a good possible guardsman here.

He found out very quickly that he didn't like a grand majority of the guards that held rank above him. He already hated people like the inspector that his mother traded sex for information with, and found those types of people despicable. But more than that, a lot of the older ladies and gentlemen that could boss him around made their way to the tops of their class by being cutthroat. While as a child he (like many others) had seen Commander Shumway as one of the coolest and most moral people around, just because he was the head of the guard, but his ideals were shot down quickly. It left a bitter taste in his mouth after every meeting with him, and almost made him disheartened about the whole career. If it weren't for a handful of good people, like Chief Miller, he wasn't sure he'd be able to stomach this job. At least Miller held almost as much pull as Shumway, and once had caught Bellamy's forlorn look at lunch and came to sit by him. The very fact that he knew what Bellamy was thinking about said a lot.

"There's a lot of corruption in the guard." Miller had murmured under his breath, "And it's hard to acknowledge and continue with it, I know. But just work on being the best person you can be, and hopefully you'll make it through so they'll be at least one more good person that the Ark can trust." He said, an apology in his eyes.

That was all that he said, but it got Bellamy thinking. About how they could make things better, how he could become the best person he could. Right now, at such a low rung on the ladder, he couldn't do much, not today or tomorrow or next week even. But one day…maybe he could do more.

It bothered Ana too, which was a relief. But then again, he figured that she saw it even more clearly than he did, being a woman trying to get into the guard. For every female, there were at least twenty men.

He couldn't tell Clarke these disappointing thoughts though, he would hate himself forever if he was the person that shattered her innocent illusion of life, for she should be allowed to bask in it as long as she could. His sister never got the chance and she was bitter more often that not now, and to see the smiling bright ball of sun that was Clarke Griffin go out would utterly destroy him. He couldn't tell his sister because it would only confirm her still stalwart conviction he picked wrong and would be unhappy one day, and he couldn't tell his mother because she was just so pleased and she likely already knew, and maybe he was a little angry she'd never warned him. For these reasons, he was glad that he had friends outside of Clarke like Benny, and more recently, Ana. Benny complained all the time, so he was a safe bet, because he was usually too busy complaining about this or that to recall what Bellamy had gripes with, and Ana understood his angers because she experienced them too.

"Sometimes I wonder if you can't fix a broken system." Ana said after particularly disheartening day, "And the best solution is to overhaul the whole thing."

"I don't think we have the capability to do that." Bellamy replied, although the idea made him uncomfortable. He didn't always like the way things were run, but at least they were being run. He'd feared that trying to fix the way they did thing would only lead to chaos, something no one could afford on a metal ball of humans hurtling around the earth. They could all die, "Look. In one hundred years, we'll go back down to earth. Things will change then, the rules we have now can't fit with the rules down there because everything will be different."

A sad look overcame Ana's face. It was a sad look many wore, the look that they'd never get to see earth, or really appreciate it, if they were lucky enough to live that long. He bit his lip uncomfortably.

"Hey, chin up. Maybe the earth will be ready for us before that?"

"I've read the histories, Bellamy." Ana gave a sigh, "It won't. It couldn't be. It's something we have to accept."

Accepting this was something like a rite of passage, a coming of age. When you were a kid, your parents undoubtedly told you fairy tales about going down to earth or swimming for the first time or smelling rain, even though they'd never experienced it themselves. And for a time, you held onto that hope that maybe it would be different, and you'd get lucky. Maybe you'd go to the earth early, and you hoped and dreamed about it the way you might dream you would be a princess or that dragons were once real. But when you got older, you had to realize that you would be dead long before any humans would touch the earth again, and you would die in the same metal walls you were born in.

The only thing that gave Bellamy faith was that soon, parents would be able to tell their children about earth and it wouldn't just be a fairy tale because some generation would actually get to experience it. If it wasn't going to be him, but maybe his grandson or granddaughter, Bellamy could accept that.

As despondent as Ana was, at least it got her mind off the very flawed system of the Ark rules.

Bellamy liked to think once it all worked out, but things had changed in the hundred or so years since they'd come up. Rules were rarely revisited or modified, even with changes to the way things ran. But in all honesty, it was a wonder to Bellamy they were all still alive. And he was going to do his best to keep people that way, and one of the best ways was being a guard.

As it was, though, guard training left little socializing time, at least at this stage. Even when he did get time off, he was always so exhausted that he crashed wherever could. He'd taken to sleeping on Clarke's couch, because his house was unsuitable to daytime naps for reasons starting with an 'O' and Clarke never seemed to mind it.

"You work too hard!" She'd tell him, poking him awake for some food.

"Someone has to." He replied, giving her a wry smile. He didn't want to tell her how many people were cut, and how suddenly it could be. He didn't want to worry her, "And I like it." He also didn't want her to think he wasn't happy with his job, and it wasn't always entirely a lie.

The hardest day yet came a little after that six month mark, when there was forty people left and the stakes were so much higher than before. It was announced that today they'd be sparring against fully-fledged guards instead of against their own cadets. Shumway's reasoning was that eventually they might have to fight against someone bigger and older than they were, someone with more experience. Bellamy didn't see the logic, unless they were trying to take down an ex-guardsman for some strange reason, but he wasn't going to shy away from a challenge when each movement was so carefully watched.

This was also in part why he offered to go first.

He saw a smirk on Shumway's face across the room, an odd expression to him in response to offering to go up, and Shumway motioned forward one of the biggest guardsmen, built like the lumberjack named Paul Bunyan he'd heard tall tales about. Bellamy didn't know if it was decided long before that he would fight this guy, or if it was just because he was going first, but really the only thing he could think was…fuck.

He stepped into the boxed-off area, trying to size up his opponent. Usually, he found himself being able to catch a break with his fellow cadets; if they were favoring a leg, how strong they were since he was with them everyday, obvious weaknesses he either collected in his mind or could spot easily. But this guy was like trying to read a statue.

He lasted all of five minutes, and even that might have been an overestimate.

Usually, against his fellow cadets, he had a win ratio of just over 67%, which kept him in good graces. The best fighter only had a win ratio of 81%, and each round Bellamy won a couple more than the last time. And, even if he didn't win, he could hold his own for almost twenty minutes, playing the defense, but here he couldn't even do that.

He only got a singular punch in, and it was like he was punching a wall of steel. He took more hits than he managed to land, and he didn't even get the chance to tap out, instead a punch to the face left him out cold.

He was humiliated.

He woke up against a wall, his face aching and Ana peering into his face, along with a cadet named Keith.

"I didn't win?" He asked sarcastically, and Ana gave him a thin smile, although she was biting the inside of her cheek, a tick she had when something wasn't going well.

"It was pretty bad, Blake." Keith winced, waving a hand in front of his face, "He's up, sir." He called back to Shumway.

"Can you stand, son?" He asked.

"Course." Bellamy scoffed, pushing himself up against the wall. Yet, as soon as he reached his full high, his vision swarmed over.

"Whoa!" Keith jumped forward, "He might have a concussion, sir."

Shumway gave a tense nod, "Take him to medical." He said, "Cadet W, you stay here." He opted to call Ana only by her initial, claiming her last name was 'too hard to say'. Bellamy personally thought it was because he was just sort of an ass.

"Yes, sir." Ana said, and she sent him a worried look.

Keith helped support Bellamy as they scuttled out of the guards area. He was glad everyone was pretty focused on the current spar at hand to notice him having to be taken to medical. He realized that for the first time ever, his name might drop below number 8, and this scared him.

Halfway there, they ran into Clarke.

"Bellamy! What happened to your face?" She questioned immediately, reaching toward it.

"Just a spar during training." Bellamy grumbled, "Nothing bad."

"Commander's worried he may have a concussion. I'm bringing him to medical." Keith said, and Bellamy felt his face grow hot. Clarke tilted her head at his expression.

"I can take him from here." She announced.

"I'm supposed to deliver him to the medical bay." Keith said, staying firm.

"And I'm the daughter of Abby Griffin," Clarke argued, and a realization dawned on the kid's face, "I'll obviously make sure he gets there. You wouldn't want to miss training, would you?"

"Well…"

"If anyone comes after you, just tell them that you handed him off to the Chief of Medicine's daughter. He's in good hands." She assured. Keith's expression flashed between them for a second, then he nodded and spun on his heels. Clarke took his place where he once was, although Bellamy was feeling a lot steadier now, and started veering to the left.

"But the med bay-,"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you might want to avoid everyone realizing you got beat up during training." She said, raising an eyebrow. He saw they were heading back toward her place.

"Are you medically authorized to treat me?" He teased.

"I've seen my mom do concussion checks enough. The rest of your face I can't do much about anyway." She paused, "I thought you were good at sparing."

"Yeah, until Shumway puts you up against a fully-trained guardsmen." Bellamy grumbled.

"That's like suicide!" Clarke squeaked, "No wonder you look like someone hit you with a crowbar." She added. Bellamy glared at her.

"The guy was like a mountain. I'm sure I would have been fine against anyone else." They had reached her door.

"We'll never know that, will we?" She chuckled, and her house was empty, which wasn't all too surprising.

"Aren't you supposed to be in school?" He questioned, and she sent him a deadpanned look.

"Supposed to." She coughed, "But don't want to. One nice thing about being an alpha kid is none of the teachers really tell on you if you miss."

"So what?" Bellamy asked as she set him on the couch and went to get something from the kitchen, "You just didn't feel like it?"

"I had cramps." She said so casually that it took him a moment. He lived with two women; he wasn't oblivious to female things.

"Ah…"

Clarke returned, and he was glad she shushed him so that they could move away from that topic. She checked him over, before leaning back on her haunches.

"No concussion. But if you start vomiting, have headaches, or you start not being able to think clearly, come back to my mom." She instructed.

"I thought you said you were qualified." He teased.

"You didn't have to trust me, a 12-year-old with exactly zero actual medical training." She pointed out. He nodded along, but he trusted her, medically trained or not, since she hung out around her mom as much.

"Now for your face…" She held up a mirror, and Bellamy winced at the site of it. He had a nasty bruise already forming around his eye, what had likely been the punch to knock him out. His nose was crooked and there was dried blood spilling onto his cheek, plus he had a split lip that kind of hurt now that he was aware of it.

"I'm going to re-set your nose." She said, and placed her fingers on either side of the break.

"Wait, maybe you shouldn't-," She cracked it back, and hurt like hell, "Ow! Are you sure you actually know what you're doing?" Diagnosing something was one thing, but setting bones back in place was another. It really hurt, and since this was his first broken nose, eh wasn't sure if it was supposed to.

"I've done three noses already. It's a common problem here, you'd be surprised." She said calmly. She took out a damp rag and began to clean off his face.

"I could clean myself off, you know." He murmured, but didn't make a movement to stop her, watching her eyes narrow as she gently wiped away his blood. She got to his lip, and he jerked back.

"You're such a baby, Bell." She rolled her eyes, "It's just a split lip, although he may have hit your jaw too…" She trailed off, "Either way, the nose probably hurt more."

"I'm just sore all over." He mumbled, but let her continue wiping off his face, "I've never gotten hurt this badly in a spar. If they do a random culling today, I'm screwed."

Clarke's movement stopped.

"They wouldn't! That's not fair, I mean, you were clearly mismatched." She argued.

"Fair isn't a word in the guardsmen, Clarke. And that was the point! I'm not always going to be evenly matched against someone." He said sorely, "Maybe that's part of the whole thing and I just failed."

He stayed with Clarke for another hour or two. He told Clarke it was because he wanted to be sure he wouldn't start showing symptoms of a concussion, but in reality, he was terrified to return. All he could imagine was his mother's disappointed face if he'd been cut. Eventually, his anxiety about not knowing overcame his fear of humiliation.

"Hey," Clarke grabbed his wrist as he headed for the door, "If you do get cut, I won't think any less of you, you know?"

Hearing her say that made him feel a little better.

Class had been dismissed for the day, because there were hardly any members walking around, apart from those coming and going from shifts. As he came back to the cadet's room, he saw Shumway by the board and his heart clenched.

Shumway was a stoic man that not may people liked. His respect was born from fear, quite unlike Chief Miller whose respect was born from his caring personality. If he was going to face fate and be cut, Shumway was not the optimal person to have there to comfort you.

"Sir," He greeted, nodding as he came in.

"Ah, Blake. I take it no concussion?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No, but Griffin wanted to keep me in case any symptoms popped up." He said. Shumway gave an even nod.

"Rightly so. A concussion gone unseen can make things very difficult, and it's better that we would know now." He looked Bellamy in the eye; "We cut the lowest three cadets today."

Bellamy's heart plummeted, and he felt like he was going to barf. Was Shumway here to personally kick him off the training team? He stepped in front of his commander to see the list of names…but none of the names in red were his own. Confusion knit his eyebrows as he scanned the board…and found his name at number four.

"Sir?" He turned, "I'm number four. I…I was knocked out."

"Would you rather be at the bottom there, with the three cadets currently cleaning out their lockers?" Shumway questioned, "I'm sure one would be glad to be joined back in."

"No!" Bellamy backtracked, "I'm just…a little confused on my ranking."

"Guardsmen Packard is the best sparer we have. He's never lost a fight, not even against fully trained guardsmen that are much wiser than he is. You made it," He checked a sheet, "Four minutes and thirty-eight seconds against him, Cadet. That puts you, against everyone who's ever gone up against him, in the top ten percent. You should feel very pleased with yourself." Shumway put the sheet back into his pocket, a smirk as Bellamy's face moved to shock as he digested what his commander was telling him, "I was waiting for you to return to tell you that you did good today, Blake. I will be watching the continuation of your training very closely." He turned on his heels, leaving Bellamy glancing with pride at the boards, as his whole body slumped with relief.

He'd made it another day, and he had the praise of the commander. He'd get a split lip any day for his achievements to be acknowledged at such a high level.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SHUMWAY WHAT YOU UP TO? That man is creepy as hell...
> 
> And btw I am still open to getting baby names! I won't be picking for a couple chapters yet, so if you didn't get the memo last chapter or you're a new reviewer and you want to throw your additions to the pot, you still have a chance!
> 
> Many of you seemed really not all too surprised he kept the guard job last chapter. A lot of you secretly wanted him to pick the teaching position. I think many of you think that I always knew...truth is, I didn't. I had two different ideas of where the story could go if he picked either one (lots would stay the same, it would just truly be minor differences) and I liked both equally. I wasn't even all that concerned about staying true to the show because we do deviate at some points. In the end, I literally flipped a coin XD Bellamy actually just as fair of a chance for it to land on heads while I was writing it and for him to have ended up as a teacher! Just thought that was interesting and worth sharing!
> 
> Remember to review :) Love, Lex!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's a couple days late! I went to Venice with my class this weekend and it left me with not a lot of time! So there's a lot of notes at the bottom of tonight's chapter, so BE SURE to check those out :)

Seven Years After Start of Project

"Streamers? Where did you dig up these things, girl?" Raven asked, pulling out the colorful paper rolls from a box Clarke had just thumped on the table.

"Family heirloom," She said, although she was only half-joking, "But no, seriously, rip these and my mother will never let me borrow anything again." She said in a more tense tone.

Murphy had a strand in his hand, perfect position to just rip it down the center, until Raven sent him a nasty glare. He seemed to still consider it, but rolled his eyes and threw it back into the box.

"99 cents." Jasper wiped off the grime off the packaging and chuckled, "That was like nothing back in the old world, huh?"

"Yeah." Monroe nodded, "Seriously, that would be like getting these things almost for free!" She said, unraveling a pink one with a sigh.

"And now they're passed down from generation to generation like an expensive watch." Monty finished, "Weird."

"Who do you think brought these on originally? The world is ending, but hey, let's bring some streamers, right?" Harper joked, and a couple people chuckled.

"Maybe it was someone's birthday soon?" Clarke shrugged, "Hell if I know."

"What do you use these for anyway, other than like once a year for a birthday or something?" Raven asked, standing on a chair to carefully loop the streamers around the poles, without breaking them, of course.

"I don't even know. Last time I remember seeing these was like at my eight birthday party." Clarke chuckled, "But I get the sentimentality. They really do make a room." She stepped back to admire the handiwork of her friends.

It was the last day of the year cycle, meaning that in two weeks the second round of their friends would be choosing jobs as adults, and also that today Bellamy's position in the guard would be secured. It wasn't even a question he'd be in the top 20, no matter how much he worried. Clarke knew he'd be fine. Once you were in that group, you would really have to break a big law to be let go from the guard. He'd been holding his breath the entire year, as if expecting that when he let it go, it would all fade away. He was one of the best cadets they had, Chief Miller talked about his achievements often. His worry was stupid.

It was cause for celebration for the rest of their friends that had chosen jobs this year as well, since now that the first year of their training was done, they would likely get to do fun things instead of grunt work. To be relieved that the ten people who had left the school group and rarely had time to come to the after group anymore could breath a little easier was always cause for a celebration. And Clarke was going to give them just that.

"Where do you want this food?" Roma asked. Everyone had pulled a little something together and let Roma go and barter for it. She was well liked in the kitchen, and it was cheaper to get raw items than fully made items, and she had the ability to transform them.

"That looks delicious, Roma." Jasper said, gravitating toward it. She slapped his hand as he went for a mini-sandwich.

"Paws off, Jordan." She said, holding the plate above her head, "Wait for the party, okay?"

"Set it here." Clarke instructed. She'd taken hold of his project from the get-go, since she'd been the one to bring the idea up. There were obviously older people that could have been in charge, and maybe it was because she was an alpha and had connections or maybe it's because everyone recognized she wouldn't let it be shitty anyway, but they let her take the reigns of it with little complaint.

And, if she did say so herself, it looked amazing in here.

"Wow! I didn't even recognize this room!" Sterling said as he came in, and she let a happy smile curl on her lips. Exactly the response she was looking for.

She couldn't wait until everyone was here having a good time tonight.

Across the Ark, Bellamy stood stiffly in line at the graduation ceremony. There were still 25 cadets and only 20 spots; so 5 cadets would be let go today during the ceremony, which was possibly the worst way to go. They had no idea what their rankings were, and Shumway would read them off. Knowing your ranking that got you into the Guard was a source of great pride, everyone recalled theirs. It helped the older members of the guard chose who they wanted for squads or special positions. It was a point of bragging for parents with children within the guard.

He saw the men close the doors, and tried to discreetly look out of the corner of his eye to the crowd. They weren't supposed to break the line, but he needed to see his mother there. She sat, looking happier than she'd see him in quite a long time, and he was relieved she'd chosen to come. There was an empty seat next to here that had not yet been filled, and that was a punch in the gut. It was as though it was Octavia's seat, or meant to be, but it could never really be filled. Guilt filled Bellamy in an instant.

He caught Ana's eye as he moved his eyes back forward. She gave him a slight quirk up of a smile, and he was glad she was there. He wished Clarke was here, in a weird sense, but maybe it's because he wanted those he was closest to and she for sure qualified. Other than his mom and Octavia, his closet friends were Clarke, Miller, Ana, and Benny. Ana was obviously on the stage, Miller was here like he was every year because his father was the chief, and Benny had his own graduation ceremony he was currently attending. He hadn't told Clarke, so there was no reason for her to be here, and he was sort of regretting it now, as he stood on the stage, the hot lights flushing his face. Seeing her reassuring grin would have made him feel a thousand times better.

Why didn't he invite her, he mused as a guardsmen stood to deliver some opening remarks about this year's cadet class, pretty standard stuff and all. Why hadn't he?

He realized he didn't really have an answer. Why should he also came to mind, as a rebuttal, and as he stood ahead, focusing on a dot in the metal wall, he found he had a thousand reasons to. None of which had apparently entered his mind hours before, that is.

"And now…the rankings." He snapped back into focus.

They started at number 20, which was a painful way to do it, in his opion. While it held anticipation for those watching, it only aggravated him on stage. As the numbers ticked away, he had to reconcile the fact he was either higher up, or not in it at all. He could imagine the feeling now if number one was reached and his name wasn't called at all…it was a feeling he frankly didn't want to face.

Keith, the kid that had helped him after his spar, was awarded 14th spot. It was respectable, since every spot was valuable and a number 20th placed guard was still a guard.

Ana received number 5; something that Bellamy could see irked her. Her jaw clenched as she accepted a little plaque with her name and title. By all means, if they really were judging them, being in the top 5 was a stupendous number. She really could be set for any job she wanted within the guard, or at least better shifts than Marc Scarlett, Number 20.

And his name still wasn't called. He had thought he'd made it in, but now, as number three was called and it still wasn't him, all those nasty doubts that kept him up at night haunted his mind. Worst, he imagined Octavia's tone when he'd lose about how he should have chosen a teacher and he'd never be choosing between being a janitor or factor worker.

"And our best cadet, who has jumped leaps and bounds each week, and dare I say possibly one of the best we've had in years…Bellamy Blake!"

His legs felt like jelly as he went to accept his plaque. Someone whistled loudly in the background; he was pretty sure it was Miller. He not only accepted his plaque, but Shumway pulled him into a photo with him, something that right away rose him to that category of 'special'. Getting a photo with the commander meant you had friends in high places, so to speak.

And he was honestly surprised. He was sure he wasn't going to be called at all, and somehow he'd pulled the number one spot. It wasn't like he didn't work hard for it, but he just never assumed he was good, and maybe that's what got him here to begin with.

"So you're Shumway's favorite now, huh?" Ana asked, looking angrily at his plaque, "I guess if someone besides me has to get it, it should be you." She admitted after a tense second.

"Thanks, Ana. I thought you should have at least been 3," He said, and shrugged, "And I mean, what will it hurt to have his favor?"

"He's creepy! I wouldn't like it." Ana shook her head, "He watches people…he seems to collect them more than forge connections, you know? Latches on to people that will be useful to him. If he wasn't the Commander, he'd just be weird."

Bellamy actually had no idea what she was talking about, and maybe thought she was a tiny bit bitter.

He stopped at home with his mom to drop off his plaque and get out of his uniform into something more comfortable, and for a moment, he got caught up in his excitement of getting the first spot, as he rambled to his mother excitedly.

"-And Clarke's setting up this whole party, they'll be food and cool stuff and I just-,"

"Sounds like a blast." Octavia said dryly from where he sat, bouncing a ball against the ceiling, "Another party I'll never get to attend."

"Octavia," Their mother said sharply, "Let your brother have this moment and be happy."

"He would have been happy as a teacher, you know. But he chose the guard for me. Because that's all he does are things for me. Except, you know, take me out to see the Ark. If he really loved me-,"

"Octavia!" Their mother's voice held a warning, "There is no reason to act like a child."

Her words ruffled Bellamy the wrong way. He stood behind his mom as she lectured his sister, guilt oozing from his heart. He wished he could take her out. For a second, his need to make Octavia happy overrode his common sense, and he nearly said 'screw it' and dragged her outside before their mom could do a damn thing.

"Bellamy." His mother said, patting his shoulder, "Why don't you just go to your party? Don't let Octavia get you down, she's just a little grumpy." She tried to hold her voice steady.

"A little grumpy, sure…" She muttered. He almost protested, but his mom had shoved him outside and locked the door before he could make an excuse not to go. He patted his shirt and realized his spare key was inside.

He was in pretty low moods when he arrived at the party, and almost just turned around to sulk in some corner, until Clarke appeared at his side, grinning. Her smile was infectious.

Moments before, Clarke had been having a half-hearted conversation with Sterling and Fox, but her eyes were always scanning the doorways, waiting for Bellamy to appear. What was taking him so long? She hoped he didn't stay in, because while this party was for 'everyone', if she was being honest, it was mostly for him. She saw him appear, and start to turn around, and she almost threw herself through the crowd to stop him.

"Bell! Miller told me you're first in your class! I'm so proud of you!" She nearly went in to hug him, but hung back at the last second, very aware of a couple people looking at them.

"I'm a little surprised, to be honest." He said, "I thought I wasn't going to get a bid for sure." He chuckled.

"And I've been telling him he's crazy." Ana seemed to appear from nowhere, "Like seriously, Bellamy? I didn't think he'd get first, but he's good."

Clarke's grin faltered a bit, but she quickly regained it. In truth she was a little jealous that there was someone else that seemed to know him so well, which was ridiculous, because she should be glad he had made friends in his job. She was being crazy, and this made her force her smile back. And why should she care that she didn't have a monopoly on knowing him?

"I know, I know…you both told me." That small acknowledgement made her feel better, "So…there's food here?"

Clarke's smile was genuine as she led him to the food table.

"Sorry, all the finger sandwiches are gone. Blame Jasper." She said, pointing to where Jasper had most of them in his shirt, stuffing them into his mouth every couple seconds.

"It's okay." Bellamy said, and she often forgot that even the smallest of things was impressive to him, "These are good enough." He assured, grabbing a cookie.

Clarke felt a tug on her shirt, and turned to see Jovana behind her. She looked happier than she'd been in a long time, since, well…

"Jo!" Clarke said happily, and went in to hug her, "I'm glad you came, really."

"You know, thought it was time to stop feeling sorry, you know? Marv would hate it if I didn't just live. And this is a safe place, with safe people." She gave a trembling smile.

Clarke stayed by Jo for a little bit, and by the time she got a chance to turn around, Bellamy was gone. She found him in a group of people his age, chatting it up, and she let it go. He looked at lot more peaceful than when he'd come in.

About two hours later, after going around and at least talking with everyone for a little bit, she thought maybe she should seek out Bellamy again, and talk to him. They'd been so busy at his job, and whenever he came over despite his best efforts he fell asleep, that she only got little snippets of his life. He'd have today and this weekend off, and she wanted to hear all about his first year of being a guard.

She couldn't find him, not at first, until she saw someone near an alcove with few people, and went to investigate. She only saw Bellamy and Stasia Huron kissing before she spun on her heels sharply and turned away. She felt as though she'd been intruding on something very private, and didn't want to stay a moment longer.

She had a weird feeling in her gut. It wasn't a broken heart, because she didn't love him like that, but it was still something she wasn't sure if she could identify. Disappointment, maybe? Betrayal? Something entirely different? She wasn't sure, but all she knew is that the image left a bad taste in her mouth, and she just wanted it gone.

But, Bellamy was a big boy, and even though he was far over the age that kids started kissing, she wasn't even sure he'd done any of that yet, and she didn't want to take away his freedom to do such. It was natural, really. Expected. He was five years older, she reminded herself, and in this moment…since she wasn't keen on kissing anyone, the age difference was obvious.

She let it go, mostly. She enjoyed herself, but her mind kept flashing to Stasia, especially when she saw her dancing with Monty near the music. Was this a thing that had been going on awhile? If it was, why didn't Bell tell her? Why did she even feel like she was supposed to know this?

"Something's biting you!" Wells yelled over the music, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." She hissed, because, really, she had thought she was doing a good job at hiding it. It wasn't 'bothering' her…okay, it was. Just not in a jealous way, but in a questioning sort of way.

She decided to avoid Bellamy and not bring it up until she'd figured out her feelings.

In the moments leading up to that spied-upon kiss, Bellamy was exchanging funny stories and complaints with other kids his age.

"If I had been told the first year of being a large animal vet was being a glorified farmer, I don't know if I would have signed up for it," Marisha sighed, rolling her wine around in her cup. Someone (name anonymous just in case) had been distilling wine in their house, just waiting for a party to use it on. Bellamy was extremely grateful that they thought this was good enough.

"What did you have to do? Put down a kitten?" Brad rolled his eyes. Bellamy knew that he was a sort of inconsiderate person (Clarke had told him; he was a doctor-he was good at his job though), but everyone kinda knew that too, so Marisha just rolled her eyes.

"No. I was just like cleaning out stalls." She scrunched her nose.

"So, you take care of the animals that we use for milk, and eggs, and most importantly meat, right?" Benny asked.

"Well, my job is to keep them healthy so they can fulfill their fullest purpose, and butchers are the ones that kill. But yes, take care of, being the key word." She said.

"So do you get free meat? Because if they'd told me that, maybe I would have applied for that vet job. Free bacon, mhh!" He nudged Bellamy, "Am I right?"

"Not all the time. I've only gotten a hand out once." Marisha shrugged. Benny gave a pfft.

"Lame."

"So how's your job, Hendrick?" Sarah asked, tilting her glass toward him, "Because I just seem to get coffee for the analysts. And I mean, we're both in science type things that are more desk jobs than Mr. Rewire the Entire Ark here," She tilted her head toward Benny.

"I thought I was the only one!" Hendrick laughed, covering his heart, "I am at the beck and call of the guys working. I mean, I don't go in a ton, and some of them do actually teach me stuff, but you know how it is." He shuffled his feet, "Being a meteorologist isn't a job that needs a lot of people, just takes up a lot of your time. Guess I should be grateful. When they decide I'm competent enough to watch the monitors instead of sending flirty messages to people's wives or girlfriends at different stations, I'll be on five 12 hour rotations a week, with only one other guy at most. I mean, sometimes there's something exciting, but usually it's not much."

"Staring at a screen for 12 hours a day?" Benny stuck out his tongue, "Sounds awful!" Tom nodded in fierce agreement.

"One day I might save the Ark." Hendrick defended his job, "From a giant meteor or something!"

"So no one's regretting their jobs, right?" Sarah asked, "Because what if you do then?"

"Do you hate your job?"

"I don't think I will when I'm actually doing work but-," She stopped short, "I dunno. I feel like I could make just as good money being a finder, but that's not a sanctioned job on the Ark."

Bellamy was about to assure her that she was going to be great, but a girl stumbled into their circle.

Ah, Stasia Huron. He didn't know her very well, just that she was a year older than Clarke and all her clothes seemed to be pretty ill fitting, as in she looked like what she was wearing was three sizes too small or it was tragically shrunk at the washer's.

"Whoa, Huron." Marisha caught her, "How much wine have you had, girl?"

"Not that much." Staisa hiccupped, "I can still talk in full sentences, right?" Everyone eyed each other and shrugged. She was, and it wasn't really a crime to drink on the Ark unless it interfered with your job. She was 13, and she didn't have that problem. Besides, someone else's stupidity wasn't Bellamy's concern, unless it was Octavia's and that very often was his concern.

"So…" She said, pointing at Bellamy, "Clarke told me to give you a message." She said.

"Oh…" Bellay furrowed his brows. She probably was looking for him. He wanted to tell her about his job, but figured they had the weekend for that, and he should try to socialize. But he did feel a little bad just wandering off, even though Benny pretty much dragged him over here.

"It's something…" She leaned in, "Private."

"It is?" He was surprised. Someone snickered, but he wasn't sure who. Benny patted him on the back.

"Oh, get off." He mumbled, "I'm sure it's not like that." He rolled his eyes. Benny had a one-track mind.

"Come over here." Stasia led him away from the group. He followed her, a little confused. She brought him over to an alcove, which he thought was really out of the way, even for a 'private' message.

"So…the message?"

"You know, men in uniforms are kinda sexy."

"Cool." Bellamy furrowed his brow, "I'm not currently in uniform, though." He looked down at his plain blue shirt.

"It's just a phrase, not quite literal." She said, frowning, thinking hard.

He was about to ask if she was sure that she was fine, when she surged forward and kissed him.

His first thought was that she was far too young to be kissing anyone, and his second was that this probably wasn't her first. These happened at rapid fire, and he shoved her away as soon as these traced through his brain.

"What the heck?" He demanded.

"I find you attractive. Don't you find me attractive?" She asked with wide, innocent eyes that in reality were not so innocent. He frowned, and looked at her. Well, yeah, he supposed she was what some called attractive, but he hadn't really ever noticed himself before. Despite this realization, it didn't make him any more okay with the situation.

"That doesn't matter, okay?" He growled, "You can't just…you…"

"Oh my stars!" Her eyes widened with an odd glimmer of triumph, "That was your first kiss?"

"What?" He said.

"That's why your upset, you feel like I took away some 'choice'." She said, waving her hand.

"I'm leaving." He grumbled, walking away. Maybe she was right, but he wasn't ever going to admit it to her. Benny came up, holding up his hand for a high-five.

"I saw that lip lock with Stasia. C'mon, dude! She's hot! Think you could hook me up?" He asked.

"She's thirteen!" Bellamy growled.

"For now! Everyone grows up eventually. Don't leave my hanging! And I mean, one day she'll be real catch and it won't be as creepy. Gotta keep that option open for yourself, right?"

Bellamy gave him a look that roughly translated somewhere in between 'what the hell' and 'you really need to stop talking', and Benny sighed and lowered his hand and didn't talk about it the rest of the night. He didn't see Clarke until the party was long over, and he helped her back to her house, carrying one of the heavy boxes of supplies. She was acting a little jumpy, never fully meeting his eyes. He thought that she wasn't going to bring it up, whatever it was that was eating her, but on second though, he knew Clarke better than that.

He started timing it. It took Clarke an hour to finally decide to say something, after her parents were asleep.

"I saw you. Kissing…Stasia." She winced. Bellamy wanted to hit his head against a brick wall. Of course Clarke saw that, because the world just couldn't give him a break. Then, he had to pause a moment, considering why it upset him that Clarke saw. Probably because she took it totally the wrong way. She probably thought this was something he did regularly, because if she'd been there to see him push her away, she likely wouldn't have been mad.

In fact, he'd done a damn good job of not thinking about it the whole night, because his sister could ruin his night, but no one else had that sort of authority. So he'd compartmentalized it, boxing it up and shoving it to the back of his mind. In truth, he just wanted to pretend his first kiss had never happened, not with a girl he hardly knew that didn't even ask if he wanted it.

"You know, you can date or kiss or fuck whoever you want," Clarke's tone was a little too airy for her to just be 'okay' with it, and he winced at her swear, "But I wish you'd just tell me. Not who you sleep with," She amended, "But I just wish I'd known."

He drew his hands over his face.

"Clarke…it wasn't…I didn't ask her to kiss me. She kind of just accosted me." He admitted, blushing because of course he should have seen it coming! Benny probably had wet dreams imagining that sort of crazy scenario occurring, and he had just followed blindly, really believing that Clarke had given Stasia-a girl she hardly talked to- a message for him when Raven, Jasper, Monty, or anyone else would have made more sense.

"Oh." Clarke's eyes widened, and she seemed more at ease. Her back relaxed, and she smiled.  
"I didn't know what was going to happen next." Bellamy said, mortified, and relayed what happened to her. He wasn't even offended when she started laughing so hard she was crying.

"Anyone could have told you Stasia was…well, forward with guys! She's been kissing them since 11, and doing more than that since six months ago. I'm surprised you, a teenage guy, really didn't see that coming?"

"I had no idea." Bellamy was shocked, "I…I never noticed she was really all that hot…and really, she's already sleeping with guys? Jesus…" He dove into that 'protective older brother' mode, even if this had been about the girl that attacked him with her mouth. Clarke quirked an eyebrow.

"Yeah. Totally gross." She agreed, "She can't get a chip because she doesn't have her period yet, but it can't be far off. Murphy thinks she'll end up pregnant one of those times."

"Has she been with Murphy?" Bellamy was almost afraid to ask.

"She tried. He just was a little more observant that you." She teased, pushing his shoulder, "I won't tell anyone, since you're red as a tomato, but I reserve all rights to tease you for eternity."

"I hope your first kiss is just as bad then." Bellamy declared.

"And if it is, would I tell you? Make us even? Give you blackmail material? No way, dream on." She said. He felt a little sigh of relief that she hadn't had her first kiss yet. Maybe it was because she was so young, but it was a stronger relief than if he imagined his sister kissing someone (which made no sense, because if she was kissing someone, it meant she was out of the room, which should terrify him…but it didn't. Not as much).

"I think I should probably get home." He stood, feeling much better about the events that had happened, "It must be like what, four AM?"

"You're coming over for lunch though, right?" She asked, standing too.

"Wouldn't miss it." He assured. He was at the door when Clarke stopped him.

"Oh Bellamy?" She asked. He turned, tilting his head; "I have an urgent private message for you…"

"You do? What-oh, goddamit Clarke!" He said, almost falling for it. She giggled, and gave him a quick hug.

"Rest of eternity!" She reminded him, "Night Bell."

He felt a stupid grin on his face, rolling his eyes. "Night, Princess."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aww, Bell had his first kiss! Although...not the first kiss he was quite expecting...
> 
> So, I have quite a few things to talk about here!
> 
> 1) bellarkefanfiction on Tumblr is currently holding their annual fanfiction awards! It's a huge deal and would really put my stuff out there to get nominated (Not even won, just nominated would be awesome). So please, go and vote for me on there :) I need at least 4 nominations on any one story to be considered eligible. They have a category for Ark AU's specifically, and while this story would fit into others, I think that's the safest bet! Two of my other Bellarke fanfictions are also able to be nominated, 'Cant Touch my Poker Face' and 'Prota' (The Hades/Persephone AU) and also I could be voted for Best Author. So, if you really like this story or any other ones I've written, please go nominate me!
> 
> 2) A couple people have inquired about an Instagram account to see my pics from Italy! I just got one! My username is FrostedGemstones22
> 
> 3) The photobucket for this story has been updated with the earliest set of kid's jobs, and will now be continually updated for each year that goes by/when kids start getting married and having kids. If you don't have the url on hand, here it is 
> 
>  http://s61.photobucket.com/user/frostedgemstones22/Project%20Iphigenia/story
> 
> 4) Still accepting kid's names, up until the first kidlet is born, or I say otherwise :)


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updating because my class is ending soon, so it will be hectic obviously. My family is also flying in to see my art show, and I don't want to take time away from them :)

Eight Years after Start of Project

Bellamy set his lunch down on the table with a 'thwump', although no one much looked up. It seemed like eons since the new year had started that he'd had an afternoon off, and he chose to spend it here.

Some might find it odd, thinking maybe he'd want to be taking the time to nap, or at home without his mom there, but he didn't want to be anywhere near that place.

Octavia had apologized to him soon after the party, and they'd gone back to being the fun brother-sister duo he recalled from their childhood. She was usually in a happy mood, and all seemed well…until she got her period three months ago. Usually, when a women got their period, they went to the health services immediately to get the implant, which shortened if not took away periods entirely. If you did have a period and cramps, you could also go to get medication, for even basic pain relievers were closely monitored. The implant wasn't 100% effective (cough, Octavia, cough) but it was good enough, and most women hardly noticed their periods anymore. But Octavia could not use either of those services, since she technically did not exist.

It wasn't even the idea of a 'period' that freaked Bellamy out. After watching your mother give birth to an illegal sister at the young age of five, nothing was off the table for being 'too private' or 'too girly'.

It was because Octavia was a bloody monster on her period… figuratively and literally. Not only was their mother constantly trying to find extra scraps to keep her clean, but also she was a ball of unstable emotions. And he wanted to be nowhere near her ticking time bomb.

"Bell! What happened to your arm?" Clarke said, noticing his arrival and a gash on his arm. She immediately came around the table to examine it.

"Eh, tripped in my room." He shrugged. In reality, Octavia had thrown her sewing scissors (and to be fair, it wasn't aimed at him, he just got in the way) in a fit of anger when she realized that she'd been the one to eat the last piece of chocolate mom had saved up for her and then immediately started bawling afterwards when she saw the blood and apologized through sobs. Her mood swings were going to be the death of him one of these times.

"You haven't been here in awhile." Murphy said, "Finally though you'd grace us with your presence again?"

"Yeah, because ever since Bellamy got a job, we're not good enough for him." Jasper agreed, elbowing Bellamy's other side.

"You know that's not…I have a job and-," He began to falter, his temperature rising.

"Oh, lay off it." Raven rolled her eyes, "They know that work has been a bitch to ya."

It really had. They were required to hold more responsibility now, and while they weren't out of training, they did hold five steady half-length shifts a week at the same time, and Bellamy's just so happened to be from 2 pm-6pm. Right over the time when everyone chilled in the room.

In other years, apparently, the second-year guards only needed three shift a week, because the first year guards held the rest of it. But there weren't a lot of people that chose to be in the guard this year, no one from their class he had realized sadly, and they needed to pick up the extra slack. It wasn't uncommon for a large year to be followed by a small year, but Bellamy didn't like how it made his job harder.

"So, what's new?" He asked jokingly.

"Well…" Raven started, her eyes sparkling.

"Don't." Clarke said, frowning, "I swear to god, if you say one thing-,"

"Clarke had her first kiss!" Raven said loudly, and everyone at the table looked at Clarke. Clarke looked at Bellamy.

"I was going to tell you tonight." She sighed, "It just happened. But Raven apparently felt the need to tell everyone. Why am I so special? Jasper had his, and no one's making a deal about that?"

"I dunno." Raven shrugged, "But see, everyone looked at you. Clearly they all care."

"It's not that big of a deal." Clarke's face was as red as the blood she was wiping away from Bellamy's arm. She didn't look at the table as she handed Bellamy a water bottle.

"Who was it?" Monty asked, leaning in.

Clarke gave Bellamy an evil little smile and a smirk before saying, "Stasia Huron." Bellamy nearly spit out the water he was drinking.

Everyone around the table leaned back, frowning as the thought about it. Bellamy glared at her. Stasia apparently wasn't the sort of 'kiss and tell' person, so she never told anyone about attacking Bellamy with a kiss. Bellamy made Benny swear to never tell a soul by threatening to never talk to him again, and Clarke had held her promise, so no one knew that Bellamy's first kiss had been with that she-devil.

But, no one seemed surprised at Clarke's name she'd given. Bellamy knew from her smirk it wasn't true.

"So…did you?" Raven said, "Really?"

"No! I can't believe y'all believed I'd kiss her." Clarke laughed, throwing her head back.

"I mean, she's made it around every guy that she could at the rate she was going, at least I'd think." Harper put in, "I could see her switching to girls if she doesn't want to repeat people."

"No," Clarke rolled her eyes, "It wasn't. Just wanted to see your reactions."

"So who was it…be honest!" Monroe squealed, "I'm dying to know! Was it you, Wells?"

Wells, who had previous been talking to Bree at just another table over, perked up.

"Did I do what?"

"Kiss Clarke! She had her first kiss!"

If he was surprised, he didn't show it. And Bellamy saw an emotion like 'I wish I had' cross his face, but he squashed it quickly.  
"No…why would you think it was me?" He questioned.

"Well, you're like besties." Harper said. If that was the rule they were going by, Bellamy was a little offended no one had asked him!

"Just come out with it." Murphy groaned, "Let's not play 20 questions, okay?"

"Fine." Clarke bit the inside of her cheek, seeing as though no one was going to give it up, "It was with Kieran." From the slight blush that graced her cheeks, Bellamy could tell this was real.

"Ohh! She's hot!" Jasper said, "High five!"

Everyone made a couple comments, but no one seemed to be asking the one big thing that seemed to be screaming in Bellamy's head. He didn't mean to ask it, but it sort of came out before he could stop it.

"You're a lesbian?"

The whole table turned to him, Miller most confused at his tone. Being gay or whatever wasn't a big deal on the Ark, not like it had supposedly been down on earth. Because of that, Bellamy didn't give a rat's ass about who you liked, and in fact Miller- who had come out to everyone a month ago- was one of his best friends.

He supposed, maybe, the idea that Clarke would only be kissing girls upset him in a way that he didn't expect. It was different than the upset feeling he'd experienced when he realized Clarke had seen him kissing Stasia, something deeper and more profound. It was like something inside of his heart just…died.

"No, I'm bi." Clarke said, staring intently at him, "Oh!" She seemed to have a realization; "Right…we-the group- had this conversation like three weeks ago, so everyone sorta knows now…"

"And you weren't going to tell me about it?" He asked, a little hurt.

"I meant to. I thought I had. I don't know, it's just not that big of a deal to me, so it wasn't like an imperative secret. It's just…me."

"Of course, of course." He backtracked, now feeling like a total idiot, "I was just…taken off guard. You just had really only said things about guys before."

"I'm not offended." Clarke said, patting his shoulder reassuringly, "Just was a slip up."

He luckily didn't put his foot in his mouth the rest of the night, mostly because he was trying to work through his feelings, with little success. Everyone was talking about their first kisses, and Bellamy made up a story that he'd kissed a girl a year above him and no one knew her anyway, so it wasn't like they were going to fact-check his story. No one seemed surprised or had anything much to ask about it, because he was 18 now and he was pretty sure everyone thought he'd had sex already as it were. Not that he'd had, but let them think whatever the hell they wanted to think, right?

After everyone left, Bellamy apologized profusely again, but Clarke stopped him.

"Look, I get it. I haven't really expressed any sort of indication I would like girls. But I do…I just hadn't found one in particular that I wanted to do much with. I only got to thinking kissing was something I wanted to do like a year and a half ago." She laughed.

"So how did it happen?" He was genuinely interested, because Clarke was his friend.

"We started talking, ya know. We both 'came out' after Miller, she's full on lesbian though, and I'm for sure bi. I guess I started seeing her as a bit more attractive, she thought I was cute, and we hung out two weekends ago and kissed at the end." Clarke sounded so detached from the story, as though she was re-telling about someone else.

"So are you two…" He almost didn't want to ask, "A thing now?"

"Naw." Clarke shook her head, "Kieran's not into that, and I don't think we'd work as a couple. I wouldn't be opposed to kiss her again, though." She added, and that same clenching feeling entered Bellamy's chest. He tried to push it down, but it wouldn't leave.

They had reached Clarke's house. Her parents were home today, her mother laughing at something her father said as he cooked them dinner. Bellamy wished that his family were like that, sometimes. Then again, if it were like that, they might not have Octavia. Maybe the father would have gone to the council and his mother would have had to abort? Or maybe he wouldn't have had to give up so much, with two people being able to support her from day one instead of just his mom.

"Hi guys!" Clarke said, grinning, "Ohh…" She said, trying to snatch a lick of the sauce her father was making, but he swatted her away with his spatula.

"C'mon, kid. Dinner will be ready soon enough. Hello, Bellamy. Are you staying for dinner?" He asked, turning to Bellamy.

"If you'll have me." Bellamy answered; worried his stomach would growl to reveal just how hungry he was.

"Bellamy, your arm!"

Noting got by the Griffin women, apparently.

"Just scratched it on the table in my house." He said, grimacing, and giving the same answer he'd said to Clarke.

"I tried to wipe it off, but I didn't think he needed stitches or anything." Clarke said.

"No, he doesn't." Abby grabbed his arm, looking at it, "But we should probably wrap it."

She went to a cabinet he'd never seen her open, and flung the doors open. Bellamy's eyes nearly popped out of his head when he saw rows of medical equipment, lined up so nicely…more than he'd ever seen one person possess at once. Then again, Abby was the Chief of Medicine, so it wasn't too wild to think she'd have her own stash.

She had a small tube of antiseptic and a roll of gauze.

"I don't think it's infected," She said, "but we should do this just in case. How does your arm feel?" She asked.

"It stings, but it doesn't hurt bad, at least…I don't really notice the pain." He watched as she wrapped it carefully.

"If it does hurt, come back immediately. We wouldn't want an infection left unchecked. For now, take these." She handed him a bottle of pills.

"All…of…them?" He asked, looking at the tiny little circles clanking around, "But don't you need the rest of them?"

"Little known secret, we have more than enough simple medications to go around, since they're not hard to make for our chemists. They're only monitored because non-medicinally trained citizens tend to overdose if they're left to their own devices. When I was a kid here, we let everyone buy bottles and we had lots of cases of kids overdosing thinking the more pain pills they'd take the better they'd feel or adults taking more than they should because they didn't feel the effects right away. But you, Bellamy, have always struck me as someone who wouldn't use something like this irresponsibly." She said, "Clarke tells me that often you come home feelings sore or bruised from training. These should help with that."

"I…I don't know how I can repay you." Bellamy stared at the bottle, knowing that black-market medicine was very in demand and a bottle like this was the most expensive thing he owned. But the actual use of it was far more valuable than what they could sell it for, and he didn't want to betray the Griffin's trust by selling this off.

"Repay us?" Jake chuckled, "There's no need, Bellamy. We'd be insulted if you did." He said, and handed him a plate, "Now sit down. Dinner's nearly ready."

When he returned home that night, he felt jitters all the way to his room. Could people tell that he had a very expensive pill bottle under his jacket? Could they tell that he felt like he was going to get mugged for it at any second? He gave an audible sigh of relief when he locked his door behind him.

"Here, O." He sighed when he got a second to catch his breath, "For your cramps."

Octavia gave him a weird look, but her eyes widened when she realized what was in her hand.

"Oh my god, Bell! Who did you kill to get this?" She looked at him suspiciously.

"No one, geeze." He rolled his eyes, sitting by her, "The Griffins gave it to me." He said, holding up his bandaged arm, "It's for all of us, but I figured you'd enjoy it most right now."

"No kidding." Octavia swallowed two pills, and screwed the cap on, settling it behind her pillow, "I'm sorry, by the way. I think I overreacted."

"You think?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Hey, shuddup. I'm apologizing, aren't I?"

"You are…that you are." He frowned, suddenly recalling Clarke's kiss again. And it was still bothering him.

"What?" Octavia asked, and he groaned, looking at her.

"Clarke had her first kiss, and it wasn't me. It was with a girl, not that I care if she's into girls- and she's into guys apparently to, she told me, but it's really bothering me. I mean, I can't figure it out; O. It's eating at me. I feel sort of sick when I think about it, almost disappointed, just…" He flexed his fingers, "Weird."

When he looked at his sister, she was wearing a smile as wide as her face.

"Well, it's obvious! You have a crush on Clarke!"

"What?" Bellamy reeled, "She's like your age! That would be weird."

"You told me that Mr. and Mrs. Collins have a ten year age gap, and they're perfectly happy. She's only five."

"No, I mean, she's so young." Bellamy felt his face turn red, "I feel like a creep." He put his hands in his face.

"She had her first kiss, it's not like she's a kid anymore. Or, she's starting not to be. She's a teenager, like you, albeit at the beginning." Octavia pointed out, "I mean, little weird now, I guess, but in like two or three years it won't be that weird. Besides, everyone's an adult when they turn 17 anyway. Have you noticed how you haven't actually denied it?"

He realized he hadn't, and he swore under his breath.

"What do I do?" He asked, turning toward his sister.

"Just wait, I guess." She shrugged, "You're best friends. Either the feeling will stay or it will go, but there's not really a rush to it now, is there?"

"No…" Bellamy relaxed, realizing that his sister was right, "That's…true." He felt much better, and the clarity of the situation began to settle upon him. To Octavia's credit, she didn't bother him too much about it, and didn't tell his mother right away when she returned. Maybe she realized this was something that, if he ever even felt like telling his mom, would have to happen on his own time.

He thought his sister wasn't going to say anything about it again, but that night, Octavia tapped his shoulder. He turned, and she was grinning like an idiot again.

"You know, from the way you talk about it, everything you've told me about the person she is, it's crazy to imagine you wouldn't have eventually fallen for her." Octavia whispered, "Hell, I've never meet her and I could have fallen in love with her. I don't think it's weird, even if you are 'so old', it just seems, I dunno, natural."

"Thanks, O." Bellamy whispered back, "But like you said, I don't think I can or should do anything about it now. Hopefully you're right and it's natural, if the time ever comes."

"It will." Octavia said confidently, "I just know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember that you can still nominate me and my stories today for bellarkefanfiction's awards on tumblr today! It closes at midnight. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, take a look at last chapter's AN!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello ya'll! I'm stilly abroad right now, in Venice (My favorite Italian city...I am obsessed with Venetian Masks!) but we leave in two days. I can't believe my adventure abroad is nearly done :'( But it will be really good to get home...have chai lattes again...and Dr. Pepper...

Eight Years After Start of Program

“Stop it Bell, you’re doing it again!” Clarke sighed in exasperation, catching his eyes and Bellamy frowned.  
“Doing what?” He asked, confused. Clarke set down her pencil, setting aside her booklet and spun around to face him directly.  
“Looking at me with those weird looks, it’s totally throwing me off.” Bellamy seemed to not know what to say. Ever since, oh, three months ago, he’d been giving her strange looks. At first, she’d just chalked it up to him being Bellamy. He was a weird guy, granted. And she didn’t want to say anything because it wasn’t that big of a problem. But at times like now, when she was very intently trying to draw an intricate picture of the after-school group, his glance was distracting.  
“I…I’m not giving you weird looks.” He mumbled, but seemed a little unsure of himself, and that’s when she realized he had no clue.  
“Well, you are.” She poked him with her pencil, “So, now you know.” She went back to her drawing, but when she looked up again, he was staring at his hands with a very embarrassed look on his face; cheeks flushed bright red, “What now?”   
“It’s nothing.” Bellamy said, waving her away, and it seemed like he was trying to will his embarrassment away.  
“It’s clearly something!” Clarke said, “How can I help?”  
“You can’t help.” Bellamy’s voice sounded a little strangled, “It’s something I need to deal with on my own, okay? Can you just trust me?” He said, his voice reaching a panicked tone.  
“Uh…fine?” Clarke didn’t understand what the big deal was, mostly because he seemingly refused to tell her, but clearly this was getting his knickers in a twist and her inquisitions were making it worse. If there was one good thing that came out of her friendship with Murphy, it was learning that sometimes the best way to help people was to leave them alone with their problems. Wells was the sort of guy who secretly wanted you to help him, but needed prodding, and Murphy was exactly on the other end of the spectrum. Bellamy today fell somewhere near Murphy.  
She went back to her drawing, and his shoulders relaxed.  
Clarke looked at her picture, realizing that she needed a break from it, and turned to a scrap page where she had been doodling something for a while now. It was just sort of a collection of hard lines, but Raven had pointed out that if you squinted, it almost looked at two people holding hands. That had given her the idea, and now there were about twelve revisions of her original doodle.  
“What’s that?” Bellamy’s voice questioned softly.  
“It’s nothing much right now,” Clarke said, running her fingers through her hair, “I’m not even sure if it will ever be anything, but it’s sort of like…a symbol or something. For the class.”  
This seemed to pique his interest, for he leaned forward over her shoulder.  
“What are you going to do with it?” He asked.  
“I don’t know, it would be really cool to be able to put it on a banner or something. But I mean by this point, we’re basically a club or a society or something. Everyone’s still here by his or her own volition, if you think about it. And even if you adults are busy with work, everyone still makes time to come around once and awhile. I just…” She chewed on her eraser, “I just think often how lucky I was to be put into this group, you know? One where we all have such a bond.”  
She spared a glance at Bellamy, terrified he would burst out laughing, thinking her explanation was cheesy or predictable. Instead, he was nodding while grinning.  
“We’re all really something, that’s for sure. Maybe you could add like eight dots or something to represent the eight stations?” He said, and Clarke nodded enthusiastically.  
“Great idea! I wouldn’t have thought of that.” It was so nice to have someone to, on occasion, bounce ideas off of. They worked on the design a bit longer, and then put it away and soon Clarke worked on other things. It wasn’t for a while longer that she recalled making it.  
Many people got tattoos designed by Clarke as the years wore on, and Clarke wasn’t even sure who was the first to ask for one (although Sarah would be a decent guess), all she knew is that somewhere around the eighth year of the project, people began to realize that she was pretty good at her artwork and that it might be pretty enough to have on their skin. Plus, it was around the age lots of kids and young adults were going through rebellions, and tattoos were as good as any way to do that.  
Soon, she was open for business, having people come up at least once a week inquiring about it. It was mostly people in her group, although she did give three or four to friends who’d seen her designs on others. But she felt safest doing it on the ones in the after school group, because there was an untold agreement between them all of how to act about certain things.  
Her sketchbook, filled with her own doodles and one-hour challenges, became a popular place for people who wanted to get a tattoo but didn’t know of what. That became the standard; that they’d pick one of Clarke’s deigns. It was nice to have something to go off of when she was painstakingly putting it on someone’s skin. Most didn’t deviate from the design, and she hadn’t felt like she had done something really special, at least not until halfway through the year. It was when Sarah came back around for her third tattoo that she found the design for the group she’d put in the back of her mind, and frankly forgotten about until that moment.  
“What’s this?” Sarah asked, holding up her most recent version of it to examine the finer details.  
So Clarke told her.  
“This one, then. Of course.” Sarah didn’t even hesitate, “It’s really well done, you know?” She said, and perhaps no compliment had ever made Clarke feel brighter.   
After Sarah came Hendrick Horn, wanting the same tattoo for the same reason.  
“This group save me, you know? I had no friends, I was pretty miserable. Then bam, I get sent here and I don’t know what would have happened without it.”  
It was about the fifth person to ask about the group tattoo in a row that made Clarke realize that it wasn’t only her that had these touchy-feely emotions about the group, but almost everyone else did too. They all felt a kinship to it, a connection, and a pride that they shared with forty-four others.  
The idea that came from this pride didn’t even have a singular owner, it somehow was a communal thought that was voiced soon enough; maybe everyone in the group should get the tattoo?  
It was met with less resistance than Clarke anticipated. While some were a little afraid of the pain, others were quick to assure them they could get small or in places it wouldn’t hurt as much, and Clarke was truly a good person to trust to do it. Clarke, not only thrilled by the idea that all her best friends would wear her design, but also warmed by the solidarity of it all, did her own the night the idea was announced, and proudly showed it off the next morning. While she only ever tattooed herself twice in her life, and the other would come much later, this was one she felt she was meant to wear.  
The after-school group turned into her own personal tattoo parlor. People generously got whatever they could from their houses to help her- needles and lighters and rubbing alcohol and ink. Raven was first in line, and Murphy was second and at first acted like it was Raven’s doing, but actually seemed much prouder of his tattoo than anyone else, even though they were all getting the same one. Monty as next, and then was Jasper and it was only five people later that it hit her that he wasn’t even officially part of the group in the beginning, but he certainly deserved the mark just like anyone else.  
“What’s the saying, you can’t choose your family, but you can choose your friends? It might not have been true for you, I guess, but that’s pretty accurate for me. And I mean, you guys kind of are my family.” Jasper said, rubbing lotion on his new tattoo on his shoulder, when Clarke inquired about the happening.  
“So what am I? The artsy older sister?” She asked with a grin. Jasper grimaced.  
“More like the mother of the group,” He said, but when he saw her frown, “But that’s a good thing!”  
“Then who’s the dad?” She asked, rolling her eyes.  
“Bellamy, obviously.”  
Clarke didn’t think it was obvious.  
It took almost a year to get the tattoo on everyone, for some people were hard to pin down, even if they wanted it. She learned a lot about people by tattooing them; Bree didn’t flinch at all during the entire experience, instead chatted with Felice about their astronomy class together like she was getting her nails done instead of having a sharp nail with ink on it constantly pricking her skin. Clarke had a much greater appreciation for her after that, and Wells was grinning like a proud parent, and everyone else was just sort of shocked. On the other hand, Tom Haggar nearly fainted during his and Brad-who was built like a mountain and had quite the intimidating presence-actually cried.  
Everyone wanted Clarke to do theirs a little differently; some wanted it in a place they could easily cover, some wanted it in a place that out and about couldn’t be mistaken. Some wanted it big; some wanted it like a secret on their skin. She took no offence to someone wanting any combination, since it was going on his or her skin for all of eternity. And it did make it very personalized, and she got to know everyone a little better since even the smallest one she did on Keshawn took nearly three hours. Roma got the biggest one, almost the size of a plate across her back, situated between her shoulder blades.  
Clarke was glad everyone liked the design as much as she had, and similarly liked this group so much. She wondered why this wasn’t made common before she’d started school? You had your station, but a lot of people below Hydra station weren’t all too keen on being proud of where they came from. You eventually had a job, and hopefully you loved it, but that was a different sort of loyalty. But to have something like this, a group to cling to, a network of people so different from each other but yet all united by a common thought was something special. She could always find answers from people here if she was having a problem, because she had so many different views and pools of knowledge between them. So, when she would be in class and see the edge of a tattoo peeking out from underneath someone’s sleeve, or the quickest flash of a corner when a girl put their hair up, revealing one behind their ear, she couldn’t help but feel stupidly happy.  
Somewhere in between when there were about 20 kids left to do, Murphy approached her at a time specifically when she was alone.  
“Hey! Have you seen Laz? I can’t seem to pin him down, and I want to get going on his next.” She asked.  
“He’s usually at the food station in Mecha. I’ll bring it up to him when I see him next. But I’m here because…” Murphy twitched where he was sitting, twirling his thumbs, “I remember you did the picture of my dad, alright? You’re obviously a good artist. I want you to design a tattoo for me…not just a doodle that you put on me, but something just for me. No one else.” He said.  
“Okay.” Clarke took out her sketchbook, “What are you thinking of?”  
“I’ll let you figure that out, Princess. I’m interested to see what you make.” Murphy said, getting up, leaving Clarke a little stupefied. For a long time she just watched him leave, totally unsure of what to make for him.  
“Really, he asked you for a tattoo?” Bellamy guffawed when he heard, “He has a heart! Alert the press!”  
“Don’t be mean!” Clarke shoved him; “It was probably a big deal for him. I mean, he trusts me, I think. Because of his dad.”  
Bellamy instantly sobered.  
“He doesn’t trust many…just Raven, really. Maybe me, on a good day. Jasper, I think, but he won’t admit it. Finn? No, he might just tolerate Finn…” Bellamy said.  
“It hasn’t been easy for him. But he’s still here, and that’s saying a lot. He likes…okay, Raven…his dad…being sarcastic…oh, stars!” Clarke slumped back on the couch, “What the heck am I going to do? I can’t let him down.”  
“Maybe don’t start with him…start with someone easier. If you were designing a tattoo for Raven, what would you do?” Bellamy asked.  
“Easy, a raven something. I mean it’s her name.”  
“Fine, if that was so easy…Monty?”  
Clarke paused, chuckling. “Space and the stars and earth. His favorite place is the space window…he goes there all the time. I know everyone likes to dream about going down to earth one day, but Monty…it’s special to him.”  
“Jasper.”  
“A fox. Something about those creatures, in every video I’ve seen that the Ark has, reminds me of him.”  
“Miller?”  
“Are we going through everyone?” Clarke asked, giving Bellamy a sharp look, not that she didn’t enjoy it, but she didn’t know if she had the energy to think of individual tattoos for 45 people. He gave a ‘guilty’ motion with his hands.  
“I’m just curious now. And just our friend group, not the entire group.” He assured, “So…Miller. Something with the guard?”  
“I’m not sure. I mean, his dad is the chief, and he wants to be one…but I don’t know if that’s ‘him’. Probably something to do with stars though. He likes Shakespeare plays, the classics, too. A hand holding a skull-that’s from Hamlet.”  
“I know Clarke. We all read the same books for English.” Bellamy said, “And I read it three times.” He admitted after a second, “It’s a good read.”  
“I could hardly get through it once.” Clarke winced, “I don’t know, not that Miller is like Hamlet, I just know he has half the thing memorized and he likes to monologue from time to time.”  
“Something with Hamlet and stars; got it. Bree?”  
“A key and a locked box. There’s defiantly more to here that I don’t know, that maybe none of us know. I think she’ll surprise us one day.”  
“I agree. I heard her rapping the other day, you know?”  
“You’re lying!” Clarke sat up on her knees, “No way. I’m totally asking Wells about that! And, before you ask, for Wells I’d give him a lion.”  
“Because his dad is ‘King of the Jungle’?” Bellamy scoffed, because Wells was still not his favorite person.  
“No!” Clarke scowled, “If that were true, I’d be giving myself a lioness or something! It’s just because lions are strong and powerful and yet have just an air of regal calmness to them. Plus,” Her eyes lit up, “His favorite movie is The Lion King. When he was five, it was the only movie on the Ark he’d watch. He still tears up when Mufasa dies…and I probably shouldn’t have told you that.” She realized when Bellamy got a smirk on his face.  
“What?”  
“If you use it against him, I will end you, Bellamy Blake.”  
Bellamy pouted, “You take the fun out of everything. And for such a small girl, you’re so violent. So…any more ideas for Murphy?”  
“A few.” Clarke nodded cautiously, looking at her sketchbook, “I think I can make him something really great.”  
“I’m looking forward to seeing it too, I have to go. I have the Dinner shift tonight. See you later?” He asked. Clarke nodded absently, already scribbling away.  
She instead ended sketching all of the designs for the rest of the group before she got to Murphy’s. Not because she didn’t care about his, but because she didn’t want to lose the ideas she had for everyone else, even if they’d never know. And she really wanted to be able to focus all her energy onto him.  
Really what he enjoyed was his dad, but she didn’t think he wanted a memorial to his father otherwise he might have just asked. He might be testing her to see if she really knew him as a friend, and this just made Clarke all the more determined to wow him. What she knew of him was although put up a barrier, he cared about those he trusted and could be relied on in a pinch. He was aware and courteous of the fact that people like Bellamy, Jasper, and Raven had done much for him in his life, and he repaid it by being almost friendly, but she knew that he did appreciate their friendship, because Raven had told her. She was fairly sure he would do anything for Raven at this point, even go against everything he pretended to everyone else he was, and that said a lot about him to Clarke.  
In the end, she ended up sketching a badger for him. The animal came to her as she was leafing through an old magazine called National Geographic, and something about the creature called to Clarke as being perfect for him. She did it in the style of an ink brush painting; not too obvious or realistically a badger, but more the essence of the creature, which Clarke thought him to possess. In the end, it ended up being one of her most favorite tattoos she had ever designed.  
When Murphy saw it the next day, she read the quirk of a smile, the closet she’d ever seen him come without Raven around to make him happy. This was a colossal win for Clarke.  
“Color me shocked, Griffin.”  
“So you like it?”  
“Yeah, it will do.” He said, acting nonchalant about it, but she saw him keep glancing at it, his smile breaking a little bigger each time, “Where were you thinking this would go?”  
“When I drew it, I envisioned it like this…” She said, touching a little near his shoulder on one of his arms, and then down around it to his back in an inverted ‘L’ shape, “It will look natural, I promise.”   
“I like it, don’t worry. I’m not taking my business elsewhere…not that I know of anyone else doing this. So, rest assured on that count.” He said, smirking at her hasty assurance.  
“Oh, geeze…you just know how to speak to a women, don’t you?” Clarke said, but she was grinning a bit, “We can start today, if you’d like?”  
“Let me just check my non-existent calendar. Good news, I’m free.”  
Clarke rolled her eyes.  
So that’s how it became for the next few months. On the days Bellamy was working late and Wells was busy, she’d go over and work on Murphy’s tattoo. They’d do it in Raven’s house because her mom was hardly there anyway, and they could be freer there than anywhere else. Finn often came too to keep Clarke company since Murphy didn’t talk to anyone besides Raven. He wasn’t a huge talker though, and mostly kept her company in spirit while he bended his little metal animals.  
Maybe that’s what attracted Clarke to him from the start. Maybe she recognized the artistic flicker of light that lived within her too. She could appreciate that; conceptualize it more than Raven talking about mechanical stuff or gravity logic or Murphy talking with Bellamy about gun training. But Finn talking about the struggles of getting a leg just right or not accidently chopping off a fragile head of an animal? She understood that.  
It was fascinating to watch Finn work on one of those things. He would scour the Ark for draws or photos of animals, and then spend the next three months perfecting the craft of making one. His skills had greatly improved since the first one she’d seen him with.  
When he did talk, she found him to be an interesting fellow. Philosophically, he was a great conversationalist. He had opinions and thoughts that were different than Clarke’s own, but not so far removed she found him impossible to reason with. Quite on the contrary, he was always up for a good debate and seemed to really think through her arguments through before either rejecting or accepting them. She didn’t talk with Bellamy about such things; it had just never come up. Maybe, and she wasn’t going to say it out loud, it was easier to speak with Finn because he was her age. She wondered if she were to talk about these things with Bellamy if he’d have different experiences, more experiences to say, and everything she said would be invalid?  
While she loved going and drawing as a detoxifier, she was a little embarrassed to realize just how excited she got before these sessions and how crestfallen she was when Finn had something else going on and couldn’t make it. So what, maybe she had a tiny crush on him. She wasn’t going to say anything about it. She was determined to continue being his friend.  
“Have you ever sold one of those?” She asked him one day while watching him make a little lizard, “I’m sure you could make a lot off them. Someone somewhere has to think they’re awesome.” Secretly, she might be that person, but she wasn’t going to be so forthright to straight up ask him.  
“No, just I keep my little zoo.” He said, as though the idea of selling or even giving them away hadn’t occurred to him.  
“Do you think you’ll ever?”  
“I don’t know. It’s such a long time to make one, I get attached, you know?” He said, looking down at the metal in his hand, “And it takes so long to find scrap pieces or a new animal, and it’s just a process. Right now I think I’m still learning. Who would want a practice piece?” He laughed.  
“I still think they’re cool. I get attached to my work too, but it’s usually sort of attached to someone.” She said, patting Murphy’s shoulder.  
“Huh?” He asked, tuning into the conversation. He and Raven had been playing an intense game of Risk between just the two of them. Clarke had tried to play once, but she’d been kicked out of everywhere within five turns. As it seems, she wasn’t great at strategy. Murphy was, and he and Raven would sometimes just sit for minutes before a turn, staring at the board. It was a good way for Murphy to focus on something besides the pain, although he’d never once complained. Raven and Murphy tuned out basically everything around them while in a game, so Clarke felt like she could speak freely to Finn while a game was in session.  
“Nothing, go back to taking over continents.” She assured, and he nodded absently, settling back on his pillow and flexing his arms just a bit before Clarke continued sketching over his back.  
“Yeah, guess it would be hard to take that sort of stuff with you. You have nice tablets in Alpha station though, right? Couldn’t you just take a picture of it?”  
“We do…” Clarke sighed, “But not for frivolous things like this. I don’t even know what my mom would say if she found out I was doing things like this. I mean, it’s not illegal, but it’s also not…oh, well you know.”  
“I don’t understand the big deal. Art is a form of expression, and this is just the form this happens to take. It’s not hurting anyone.”  
“It has though.” Clarke corrected, “Infections and all.”  
“But you haven’t had anyone get an infection from you, though?” Finn said, looking slightly worried.  
“As if! I’m nothing but cautious with my materials.” Clarke said, a little offended he would even think that. Besides, the second someone got infected was the moment someone like her mom found out and she’d be stopped. She had more tattoos and art and happiness to give. She wasn’t about to let that happen.  
“Still…” He shrugged, “I think the fuss about it is silly. The fuss the council makes about a lot of things is silly.” He spoke without thinking, then glanced quickly at Clarke, “I mean, unless you-“  
“It’s fine. I wouldn’t be angry at you for having an opinion,” She thought of Bellamy’s friend Ana who had a lot of opinions, all much worse than what Finn was saying now. She’d done a lot of biting of her tongue the first time they’d hung out formally, instead of knowing each other peripherally through the group.  
“I just…you and Wells…”  
“I don’t agree with everything the council does,” Without meaning to, she glanced at Murphy but was glad Raven didn’t notice. Finn seemed to, and made a grunt of understanding, “I believe that a lot of times they have to make a totally shitty choice either way. Sometimes I believe they don’t do that, and they pick the easy way. I could just never be a politician.”  
“See, and you’d be good at it. The people who should be leader rarely are.” He said. Clarke felt her face go hot at being complimented, and let out a very surprising giggle. Shit, was it obvious she liked him?  
“So,” He questioned, not put off at all by her giggle, “How much do I have to pay you to get one of these?” He asked.  
“I don’t take payment.” Clarke said, “I do it because I enjoy it. Happiness is my payment.” She said.  
“Really? Even this, which you’ve been working more than 30 hours on?”  
“30 hours of me drawing and making someone else happy.” Clarke corrected, “I get to hang out with two of my friends, and I’ve gotten to know you better. What else should I want?”  
“Money? Rations? Something?” Finn began, but then frowned, “Although, you live in Alpha…I suppose you don’t it.”  
As temped as Clarke was to argue that even if she weren’t she still wouldn’t require payment, she couldn’t know that for sure. Yes, it was tempting to act so high and mighty when anything she wanted she basically had. She was quiet for a long while.  
“That was a mean thing to say,” Finn sighed, “I didn’t…I don’t think you’re a bad person. I didn’t mean to hold your station above you.”  
“It’s okay. People do it all the time and usually mean it.” Clarke said.  
“They shouldn’t. Really. I’ve met more shitty people in lower levels than I’ve met in the Alpha station. And you? How could anyone ever think badly of you?” He questioned.  
Clarke averted her eyes.  
“I think I might be able to do something small. Not a thirty hour project like this one,” She nodded to Murphy’s back, “But…like something here.” She showed him her Group tattoo. His whole face lit up.  
“And you’ll design it, right?”  
“Do you want me to?”  
“Of course! Your work is impeccable.”  
Somewhere in between finishing Murphy’s tattoo and the days he couldn’t make it and Bellamy wasn’t free (a rare clashing of dates), she gave Finn his favorite animal, a deer, just below his ribs. While he’d never outright told her, she’d picked up on how many little herds of deer he’d made over the years, and it wasn’t just because they were easily made. Mice were easily made, but she only saw a couple of those on his shelf. But whenever he was in a rut for creativity, a deer usually was what ended up in his fingers.  
“I didn’t…how did you…”  
“I’m perceptive.” She said quietly, giving him a hesitant smile.  
“It’s great.” He said, turning in the mirror to see it better.  
The next time they saw each other, he gave her a little metal tiger, the first one he’d ever given away.  
“I said I don’t accept payment.” Clarke told him, raising an eyebrow.  
“It’s a thank you.” He said; although the time and excess metal spent on this far outweighed the puny tattoo she’d given him. She didn’t say this, though, and accepted it.  
After finishing Murphy’s tattoo, it wasn’t long until everyone was coming to her, asking for his or her own personal one. Murphy showed it off every chance he got, preening that he was the first to get one from her, a ‘Clarke Original’ as they called it. Raven was directly after, and had came to Clarke with a poem book Bellamy had shown her of a particular fellow named Poe, reading out loud a long poem titled ‘The Raven’. After hearing it, inspiration struck Clarke and she re-did her initial design to have the words melting into a raven form. Raven and Murphy together did all the advertising on their own, despite that she never asked them to.  
Some she declined, some (years later, as it went on) she’d take on if she was feeling up to it, and some she had already prepared, such as when Jasper came up three years later, or Monty five. By the time they were all married with children, she’d done all of the tattoos on their respective owners that she’d done with Bellamy that night. Yet that time was far away from now, and in the weeks after Murphy and Raven’s, there was one particular person who had yet to inquire much of anything about the tattoos.  
Bellamy.  
He was always more than interested to see when she drew up a new one, or any art she had done really, but he had never once questioned about his own personal tattoo ideas she had. Nor had he ever seemed to want one, which was perfectly fine, but she wished he’d make a statement about it, and then she’d really know.  
“You’ve never asked about ‘your’ tattoo.” Clarke said one day, as he was lazily flipping through her sketchbook.  
“I have a tattoo?” He asked, looking up, “Which one?”  
“It’s…here.” She said, going to her shelf and very carefully taking out a folded paper away from the rest, “Just…why haven’t you? Do you not want one? I mean, it’s fine if you don’t-,” She realized she was beginning to ramble and shut up quickly.  
“No! You just were so busy with other’s that I thought you might want a rest.” He said. Clarke scrutinized him.  
“So…you do want one?” She said.  
“Your tattoos are…they can’t be described with words, Clarke. Anyone would be lucky to have one, especially one designed just for me. And apparently one that’s hidden away…” He coughed, looking down.  
“Well, it’s just, it’s special.” She admitted, and he looked up with an expression she couldn’t place, “I mean, it’s for you. You’re my best friend.”  
“I…” Bellamy was a little lost for words for a couple moments, “What about Raven? Or Wells? They just have theirs in here.” He nudged the sketchbook with his foot.  
“It’s different.” She sat across from him on her bed, “You also never asked what I’d do if I were to make you one.”  
“I don’t need to ask!” Bellamy let out a bellow of laughter, “Anything you make I’m okay with. I don’t need to see it to know it will be good.”  
“I’m putting this on your back, though. For life. And you don’t want to see it at all?” She said, jaw hanging.  
“Not until it’s done.” He said.  
Clarke let out a wide smile and a half-laugh, something he found to be ridiculously beautiful on her. She was rolling her eyes and tapping her fingers, but he saw that this excited her…the idea that she could do absolutely anything she wanted. Not that anyone had ever denied anything she’d made before, of course.  
As she set the paper back carefully, his gaze caught what was the weight on top of it.  
“What’s that?” He tried to sound casual, and Clarke followed his gaze. She narrowed her eyes, and they both knew he’d been over at Murphy’s far too many times to not recognize the handiwork.  
“Finn gave it to me. For giving him a tattoo.” She said, taking it down, tossing it back and forth gingerly between her fingers.  
“I thought you didn’t take payment?” Bellamy said, feeling a little better about it after all. If it was just a simple exchange, then there was nothing for him to suddenly feel worried about.  
“I don’t.” She said, and her cheeks reddened, “But he insisted.”  
Bellamy let his feeling of disappointment ooze over him before saying something else, something he’d regret when it wasn’t the right timing at all. He stifled it.  
“So? You like him?” He asked, eyes never leaving the tiny animal. Clarke looked surprised. Even though they’d been pretty transparent about their first kisses, since then they hadn’t really spoken of crushes or other dalliances, mostly because neither had had any. But now…faced with this…it felt odd to be discussing this with Bellamy, she decided. There was a small voice that wanted her to deny it to him, not because she wanted to lie, but because of something else she couldn’t place.  
But Bellamy was her best friend and he deserved the truth.  
“Yeah, I think, at least.” She said, “I’ve…well, I’ve never really had a crush up until now, you know?”  
“You should go for it.” Bellamy said, holding back the urge to kick himself. He had meant it wholeheartedly though. Clarke gave a tentative smile at his tone.  
“Really?”  
“Yeah, why not? Maybe it will be something great?” He said.  
“Well…” Her blush deepened, “Maybe.” She agreed, “But hey, we were talking about you, and this.” She touched the edge of the paper.  
“Of course. When can we start?” He asked.  
“How about next week? I want to be sure of the design before I begin.” She said.  
Bellamy gave thumbs up.  
Later that night, back in his own home, he tried not to let the idea of Finn and Clarke together bother him too much. Maybe, if it had been anyone else…he gave a loud groan. He really didn’t like Finn to begin with.  
“You’ve been groaning practically all night!” Octavia finally snapped when their mother had left the room, “Spit it out, Bell!”  
“Clarke likes someone.” He said in a rush and Octavia’s eyebrows quirked.  
“And from your pained expression, not you.” She surmised. Bellamy frowned, looking at his hands.  
“I don’t even think she sees me like that at all. I think I’m a brother, her best friend. It’s different.” He said, answering Octavia’s question without saying much, “I told her to go for it. Ask him out or something.” He admitted. Octavia gave a low whistle.  
“So, I guess you’re sort of kicking yourself right now then, huh?”  
“Clarke is giving me another tattoo.” Bellamy said. Octavia guffawed.  
“Man, you have it bad. You hate needles. I’m honestly shocked you didn’t pass out while getting this one, and it’s pathetically small.” She said, grabbing his wrist.  
“Clarke’s making it…how could I ever refuse anything she’s making special, for me?” He asked. Octavia frowned.  
“You avoided my question, you know? Tactfully, but I’m not stupid.” She said, “You regret telling her to go for it.”  
“No, not at all.” Bellamy looked up, giving Octavia a surprised glance, “I think she should, really. She’s thirteen, I’m not…it wouldn’t even…” he made a motion with his hands that showed he didn’t even know his next words, but yet Octavia understood exactly what he was trying to convey, “She should have her silly teenage romances with guys around her age…fall in and out of love. I don’t want her to miss out on that…” He trailed off, although the implication was ‘like I did’ was tacked onto the end of that. In between worrying about Octavia, he’d just never had time.  
“And what if she doesn’t fall out of this love? What if this is her ‘soul mate’?” Octavia raised her eyebrows.  
Bellamy tried to hold in his laugher, but he simply couldn’t. “Oh, I’m not at all worried about that. They’re not compatible at all…”  
So, some notes :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, someone on Tumblr said with like five points that Miller seemed really into plays/dramas and I juST JUMPED ON THAT HEADCANNON! I love the idea he's into memorizing monologues :) 
> 
> As for some other explanations for other tattoos (especially the animal ones, sans Raven...that should be rather obvious) I'm really into Native American animal totems or the whole spirit animal idea. I love the concept and I very strongly identify with my own, which is a fox like Jasper's. If you're not very well versed, here's what each of the animals mean (and you'll see why I think it fit with the person)
> 
> -Fox: 
> 
> cunning  
> strategy  
> quick-thinking  
> adaptability  
> cleverness  
> wisdom  
> trickster figure  
> -Badger:
> 
> Determination  
> Eagerness  
> Strong will  
> Focus  
> Strategy  
> Tenacity  
> Defense  
> Protection  
> Independence  
> Confidence  
> -Deer: 
> 
> Gentleness  
> Ability to move through life and obstacles with grace  
> Being in touch with inner child, innocence  
> Being sensitive and intuitive  
> Vigilance, ability to change directions quickly  
> Magical ability to regenerate, being in touch with life’s mysteries  
> SDCC is going on right now, much excitement for me! I can't really research the news of it all properly because my wifi is pretty sucky right now, but I did see an interview from JRoth that Jasper actually was supposed to kill himself at the end of s3 but he thought it was too dark. This upsets me greatly, for a lot of reasons. Not only is he my favorite character, I just feel like that would have been very out of character for him. If you want to hear my full rant, I won't post it here, but you can ask...and I will rant XD
> 
> Also, very exciting, I have been nominated on the Bellarkefanfiction awards on tumblr! I mean, this is like so awesome to me! It's literally such an honor, even if I didn't win (but winning would be pretty awesome...) Anyone can vote, and voting closes on the 28th, so you still have some time to cast your votes! There's a lot of great fanfics in the running in different categories too, and there's one against me that I actually have on my totally favorite list, so if I had to hand over my win to that one, I'd be very happy! Even if you don't plan on voting for me, I encourage you to vote for other fanfics anyway because it's a great way to give back to these Bellarke writers that write for nothing in return :) Go to bellarkefanfictionawards on tumblr and under 'links' click on 'vote'. There's a TON Of fanfics nominated, I've been binge reading them all the last couple days :) 
> 
> So remember to review and vote!


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I do realize it's been more than a week, but ever since I returned from Italy it has been family time, job searching, and trying to figure out some kinks in my class schedule for next year. Talk about a fun time, right?

Nine Years after Start of Program

As it turns out, Bellamy was correct. Finn and Clarke weren't compatible. They went on a few dates, if you could even truly call it that, but it ended almost as quickly as it began. Clarke realized that whenever she wasn't looking, and she hoped he was looking at her like she was the sun, he was instead looking at Raven that way…and he didn't even know he was doing it. Although she was young, she already knew she wasn't going to be second place to anyone, and she promptly ended it.

In the time since then, six or something months, she'd had two more kisses; one guy and one girl, although she'd argue the girl didn't count since it was during Truth or Dare. And, she told Bellamy about all of them, since they were friends and she felt it to be fair. She also told Wells, because she hadn't been and if her reasoning for telling Bellamy was because they were best friends, logically she told Wells too?

Nothing had stuck though. The one other kiss with the guy hadn't lasted farther than her and Finn had, and truth be told, she wasn't actively looking for a 'relationship' at all. She was nearing fourteen, and her mother still thought she was too young to be liking guys at all, and she seemingly always got a lecture from her about it. Her father was a little less severe, but he did encourage Clarke not to get attached to anyone. She wasn't looking for her future husband right now, for star's sake!

But some were. It was obvious that in their little group, people were eighteen and almost nineteen, almost two years past age of adulthood and therefore eligible for marriage. Some had relationships outside of the group that she knew of and while she didn't talk with the people that old often, she knew a couple was actually beginning to consider such things. It was crazy to think that while Bree was next to her just turning thirteen there were people in her same group considering marrying someone and having their kid. It was frankly mind-boggling to Clarke.

The trouble came mid-September, when Clarke and Wells were walking to group with a plate of apple pies they'd made before hand. Yet, as soon as Wells turned the corner into the room, he froze and began to backtrack.

"I'm sick today, Clarke." He said frantically, trying to cover himself behind Clarke's back.

"What? You're perfectly fine, Wells."

"No, that's what you'll tell them. I got to go." He said, trying to make a run for it. Clarke grabbed him by the back of his shirt collar, and shoved him to the side, out of view of the room.

"What is going on? Do you owe someone money? Did you get in trouble? Is there something going on I should know about?" She questioned. Wells gave her a deadpanned look.

"Jesus, Clarke, no. I just…" He groaned, cradling his head in his hands, "Look in there discreetly…you'll see Marisha has a letter in her hands." He said. Clarke darted her head around the threshold to see Marisha sobbing and clutching a paper.

"Yes…?" She said, still trying to understand how this connected him to anything.

"It has the Chancellor's seal on it. Whatever the hell was in there isn't good news, obviously. Whenever shit goes wrong and my dad signed off on something, I'm the one everyone comes to, like I seriously have any power on him." He groaned, "I've seen that look one too many times before."

"Really?" Clarke questioned, stepping back, "What do they think you can do?"

"Exactly!" He said a little too loudly, and leaned back, hitting his head against the metal walls, "Just…I don't want to deal with it. I don't want to have to come back to another person and give them the same bad news all over again." He said, and Clarke felt sorry for him.

"You're sick. You have a bad case of the flu, nothing contagious or serious, just felt a little under the weather." Clarke said and Wells threw her a relieved smile.

"You're literally the best, Clarke."

"I'll see what it's about. Maybe it's nothing anyone could have ever changed anyway?" She said. Wells scoffed.

"It usually is. But somehow they still…never mind. I'm just going to head home now, see you later." He gave a little wave, going back toward their station with a quick trot.

Clarke stacked his plate of pie on her own, and went into the meeting room.

"Clarke!" A teary voice said before she'd gotten a food in. Clarke withheld a sigh, turning to see Marisha behind her. How did Wells know this was going to happen? Clarke was fairly sure the girl wasn't here to try her mother's famous Cinnamon Apple Crumble Pie.

"Yeah?" Clarke was almost afraid to ask.

"Where's your friend, Wells?" Marisha questioned, wringing her hands, "When will he get here? I really need to talk to him." She said, wiping her nose and trying not to start crying all over.

"Erm…he's feeling a little sick today. He won't be coming in." She said. By now, people had stopped pretending to continue what they were doing while listening in, instead turning toward the two females with curious expressions.

"But it's really important." Marisha clutched the paper tighter. Clarke forced a smile.

"Perhaps you can tell me, and then I'll tell him?" She offered. Marisha seemed a little dubious, but in the end gave a vacant nod.

"Okay…" She coughed a little, and unwrinkled the paper she had, offering it out to Clarke with shaking hands. Clarke took it, looking down. It was a marriage request, and across it was a big fat 'Denied' stamp.

"It says on the form that we weren't suited for it-," Marisha began, and Clarke winced.

"Maybe?"

"No! Clarke, we…we were ready! My boyfriend, Harry…he's…we're…" She composed herself, "We've been dating since we were both fourteen. He's from my station so it's not like we'd be making an upset of things, you know? We're both in perfect health and have jobs that we're both doing very well at, according to our employers. We want this so badly. How could this make us unsuitable?" She questioned, and Clarke didn't know how to answer. By all means, she was correct.

"I'll talk to Wells." She whispered, licking her lips, "Sometimes…they're mistakes." She said hopefully, because on occasion, there has been known that there was. Relief flooded Marisha's eyes, and she nodded, pushing the paper to Clarke.

"Take it…so he can see it. I just don't understand, I just don't understand."

"I'll make sure he looks into it." Clarke said, and looked up. Everyone who had once been paying obnoxiously close attention went back to whatever they had pretended to be doing. Clarke gave Marisha an awkward pat on the back, and folded he paper into her pocket.

She sat down at her table by her friends, moaning into her arm and putting her head on the cool metal.

"That's a rough verdict." Monty said, looking back at her, "Poor M…"

"Do you think there's actually anything that could be done?" Raven asked, raising a skeptical eyebrow.

"I wasn't lying. Jaha has made mistakes, you know…late at night he does these…" Clarke swallowed, but didn't say the rest of her thought, that it was so rare that it was silly to think so.

"There could be something else, you know? Maybe her blood work showed something." Jasper offered up.

"Why wouldn't they just write that down, then?" Harper said, "It's not like they've ever been fearful of hurting feelings, especially if there was a legitimate reason."

"Maybe dear old Harry didn't really want it, and he went and intervened." Murphy suggested, ever the pessimist.

"Why couldn't he just be honest, if that were it? That doesn't make a good relationship to lie to someone…" Monty frowned.

"Well, if he's avoiding marriage I don't think they have a great relationship at all." Murphy laughed.

"This is all just speculation." Clarke reminded them, "I'm sure there is a perfectly logical reason behind it." She said, but no one looked convinced and truthfully, she didn't think so either. But Marisha looked so relieved now, almost happy, and for a moment she understood why Wells had reacted so violently against dealing with this. If she had to do this all the time…she frowned, at least she knew she'd never be right at politics.

Bellamy appeared a little later, just dropping by between shifts to scarf down some bread and cheese, and by this time Marisha was still lightly sobbing in a corner.

"What's wrong with Mar?" He asked, beginning to abandon his lunch to comfort her, despite having precious time before he was due back.

"Oh, her." Benny hardly looked up from the book he was reading, "Marriage application was rejected."

"What?" Bellamy startled, "Her and Harry didn't get accepted? That's…crazy!"

Benny finally looked up, dog-earing his page (which made Bellamy flinch inwardly) and giving a sympathetic look in her direction.

"I know. Makes me concerned when anyone else wants to try. Not that I'm shacking up yet-,"

"You kind of need a girlfriend, or a boyfriend for that." Bellamy interrupted with a grin and Benny flipped him off.

"Shut up. But as I was saying, they're like…the poster child for good marriage, pretty kids. If they didn't get accepted, is there hope for any of us?"

"Maybe it's just because they're young?" Bellamy offered. Marisha was his age, and he couldn't imagine settling down with someone now at all, despite the fact he didn't have someone to do such things with. Even if he did, he couldn't imagine in his right mind wanting to tie the knot with so much life left…

"I was down near the wedding hall yesterday fixing a flickering light and there was a girl who was 17 and getting hitched. Age isn't an issue. Besides, you know what they say, a marriage makes you more 'responsible' and they'd just love to yank my childhood right out from under me as soon as possible."

"Then what?" Bellamy said, still staring at her, "Why could this have happened?"

"Beats me." Benny took a piece of his cheese; "She gave the notice to your BFFL Clarke, though."

"We're not…whatever the heck that is. Just friends." Bellamy rolled his eyes, correcting Benny on his relationship with Clarke for the umpteenth time.

"I'm pretty sure you like her more than you like me." Benny said, which of course was true, but in a very different way then Benny understood currently, "Which makes you BFFLs- Best Friends for Life."

"Where'd you pick that one up?" Bellamy guffawed, "That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard."

"An old slang book from early 2000s." Benny chuckled, "I like it. So, do you think she knows what's up or has a say? Maybe I should become better friend with her…it sure must be nice to have friends in high places…"

"I can't imagine. But, maybe." Bellamy said, and saw the time. He had to get back, and therefore any questioning of Clarke's involvement in Marisha's denied application was put aside.

Clarke, who stayed just long enough to be socially acceptable, carefully tucked the document in her jacket pocket and pounded on Wells door.

Wells answered, looking a little embarrassed.

"So I take it I was right to hide?" He asked.

"Maybe." Clarke said, waltzing in and noticed Bree sitting on the couch, "What are you doing here?"

"Apparently you really convinced them. Bree came by to see if I needed anything."

Clarke gave a smile. She was glad that Wells had found another really good friend, someone that had the thought to come to an Alpha to see if he needed something else. In a way, it reminded her of Bellamy, except Bree was much quieter, unless they were in solitary situations like now.

"You could have told your friends he was fine." Bree said, looking red and not turning back to pale anytime soon.

"And risked someone overhearing? I didn't think much of it, anyway." Clarke admitted after a second, "It was a nice thought though."

"Yeah, and now I look like the total idiot." She face-palmed, "I might as well get back."

"Oh, don't leave on my account." Clarke said but she gave a shake of her head anyway.

"I told my mom I'd help prepare dinner. See you tomorrow, Wells!" She waved and he gave a lighthearted smile.

"See ya, Bree."

Once the door closed behind her, he turned, raising an eyebrow.

"It was about a marriage application. Marisha…she and Harry, well you've seen them! She just wants to know if there's any chance at all that maybe there was a mistake or…" Clarke was fishing the paper from her pocket when Wells interrupted her.

"Marisha? From our group?"

"Yeah, her. You know her, Wells."

"It wasn't." He said a little too quickly for Clarke to believe that he didn't know something.

Once she pointed this out, his face went stricken, but he recovered quickly, "I just…I heard my dad debating with some of the council about whether to approve her. I mean, I sort of tune in whenever someone I know is being discussed…I don't always mean to."

"And you didn't think to warn her?" The paper fell on the coffee table, forgotten, "And she had to get that today and she's hardly holding it together!"

"I wasn't sure what they'd choose! And what would it do? A sobbing girl won't change my dad's mind. He has a heart, but his decisions aren't to be questioned."

Clarke studied him. She wasn't sure if she believed his tale that he'd heard his father accidentally, because Thelonius Jaha had been careful about such matters since his son could understand what he was saying to keep it behind closed doors, but on the other hand why would Wells have motive to lie? He seemed sincere, the way he forlornly looked at the paper, and Wells had never been known to be malicious in his entire life. To destroy someone's whole future just didn't make sense. Likelihood is that he did overhear his dad.

"You look like you're going to think yourself to death," Wells teased.

"I'm just…" She waved her hand, "I believe you, Wells. Now I have to go back and give her more bad news." Clarke fell backward onto the couch.

Wells sat next to her.

"I can. She'll believe it more from me. I could say I asked my dad, say he thought about it. People like to think that it could have been different, that their matters are cared about. It's a lie, which I don't always endorse, but it might make her feel better." His voice was loaded with something akin to guilt.

"I agree. It's kinder to say those things. Maybe it will deter her from going after your dad to demand he re-check her form." Clarke sucked on her lip, "I hope it doesn't stop them from trying again. People have a better chance if they apply again like two or three years, right?"

"Yeah, sure." Wells seemed a little far away with his answer. Clarke nudged him, "Hmm?"

When Wells looked up, Clarke had a mischievous smile on her lips. He didn't like that look. "What?"

"Bree, huh?"

"What do you mean?" He asked, frowning.

"Oh, come on! She came over with soup, Wells." She said, pushing his arm.

"And?" He craned his neck, "Am I missing something?"

"Yes! She's cute, you know."

Wells gave her an aggravated glance. "Are you saying that as the Clarke that likes guys or the Clarke that likes girls?"

"Both! I mean, she's not my girl type, but I could see what guys would think is adorable about her. On the other hand, I think she's sort of like a kitten."

"It's not like that Clarke." Wells said softly.

"Well, maybe not for you. But I mean, she wouldn't be awful as a girlfriend…Wells, I've just never seen you date anyone. I sort of got excited! Have you even had your first kiss?"

Wells shook his head slowly.

"Exactly! You don't have to marry Bree, but maybe a date or two with her wouldn't hurt?" When he didn't say anything, Clarke continued, "You're young! You should be out dating around, finding that one person or whatever that people croon on about, you know? And-,"

"Drop it, Clarke." His sharp tone scared Clarke. She'd only ever heard him use that tone with his father or when he was arguing with Murphy, but never had he used it on her.  
"I'm sorry." Her voice was small, "I just…" She felt tears welling in her eyes. She was so ashamed she was crying over this, but he'd never spoken to her like this and she didn't know how to respond.

"Oh, shit." Wells swore under his breath, "I just…I like someone else, okay? Bree is nice, really, but I just don't…I can't like her like that now."

"Why don't you try to ask this other girl, then?" Clarke found her voice, hoping it was less teary, "Worst she'll say no, and then maybe you can move on."

Wells gave a wry smile.

"I wouldn't even try. She already has someone else." He said.

"Wells, I'm so sorry." Clarke's eyebrows knit, "Maybe they'll break up?"

Wells gave a short laugh, "They're going to end up together. I just know." He said, meeting her gaze. Of course, at this time Clarke had little idea he was speaking about her and Bellamy, and wouldn't realize until years later, and currently assumed he was speaking of general gut feeling instead of insider knowledge about her impending marriage. In this moment, though, Clarke clenched her fits, ready to beat up whoever (even unwittingly) hurt her second best friend so much.

"Who is she?"

"I'm not going to have you harassing her!" Wells threw up his hands, "I know you would, Clarke. It's fine, I'm fine."

"If you're sure…"

"I am." There was a quite moment, "Do you really think Bree might like me?" He sounded a little relieved, although Clarke couldn't imagine why if he didn't have an interest in her. She shoved it aside, though, because perhaps he was warming up to her as well.

"For sure! Casual friends don't just bring sick friends soup, you know."

"I didn't," He said, sounding amused, "But thank you for informing me. Since you are such a relationship expert, and all." He nudged her good-naturedly.

"I never claimed to be an expert, but I do have you on kisses and dates. You need to catch up, bud."

Wells rolled his eyes, "Sure, Clarke. Whatever."

Clarke chuckled. A week later, Wells asked Bree out. To no surprise of Clarke, she happily accepted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, obviously I didn't win in the Bellarke fanfiction awards. I was just happy to be nominated though. I also now have a list of Bellarke fanfiction to read about a mile long... XD
> 
> Remember to review


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi y'all. Just got back from camping...I recall now why I much prefer the indoors XD We went hiking though, at the campsite, and it was totally beautiful but the actual sleeping in tents part? Ehh...I like my own spider-free, totally dry bed!

9 Years After Start of the Program

"Happy Unity Day! Or almost…Unity Day." Jasper sang, dancing around the table.

Everyone chimed in with a half-hearted response, except for Murphy, who made a retching noise.

"What? What could possibly annoy you about a day we get off from school and get free food?" Miller asked, running his hand over his face.

"Long ago, when the Earth was on fire, 12 stations floated through space, all alone. Then one day, Mir floated by Shenzhen and they realized life would be better together. They other stations saw this, and they wanted to be together too." Murphy began to recite in a faux-child's voice, mockingly. It was the words that every child pretty much knew by heart by their fifth unity day, for it was the annual re-telling of the cause of celebration. Every year, 12 six year olds were chosen to recite the speech.

Wells and Clarke had been chosen, actually. At first, it was just going to be Wells. Usually, the children were picked via lottery, but the Chancellor's son turning six was a huge deal. The previous three chancellors were all without children, so Wells was as close to royalty as they would ever get. But Wells got stage fright and told his dad he wouldn't do it unless Clarke was up there with him. Clarke, of course, had zero fear and happily recited her own part, a huge smile on her face the whole time.

"It's bullshit, you know." Murphy continued, dropping the voice, "They seem to forget that it began by blowing a thirteenth station out of the sky."

"Well, it's not like we want small children saying that part." Monty mumbled.

"And what's it to you anyway?" Monroe frowned, "I didn't think you cared about people, and it's obviously not like any of us are descendants of Polaris."

"I just think it's hypocritical."

"So what?" Raven said, raising her voice, "You're just going to go in there and pop all the children's balloons while telling them we're all descendants of murderers?" She questioned. Murphy backed down, Raven the only one allowed to speak to him like that.

"Well," He muttered as an afterthought, "It was really only Alpha station that did them in." He said, glaring at Miller and Clarke.

"Oh, whatever." Clarke rolled her eyes, "You could have some alpha nationality in you too, you know? The people that lived on those ships live all over, not just on Alpha by this point. Interbreeding and such. I might descend from what the Factory station is made from, who knows?" She pointed out logically.

"Ew." Murphy made a retching sound, "I think I'd know if I had some-,"

"John." Raven warned with a single syllable. He bit back whatever he was going to say. Clarke just sighed. Murphy's antics didn't offend her anymore. He clearly woke upon the wrong side of the Ark this morning. Didn't get his sniff of coffee, or something.

"Anyone know the party that's happening this year? Last year it was a movie for the children, and I mean anyone else, but maybe I'm sorta looking forward to a teen thing? Just maybe?" Harper said, coughing.

"Why? Have a girl or guy you're trying to impress?" Jasper waggled his eyebrows.

"If so, what's it to you?"

"I make it a point to be in everyone's business, you know that. Especially romances."

"It's because you don't have any of your own." Murphy grumbled. Instead of getting offended, Jasper let out a loud laugh and nodded.

"Extremely true."

"Though not for lack of girls trying." Monty nudged his friend, "If I had the game you had…man, I wouldn't be single."

"None of them interest me." Jasper gave a casual shrug, sounding very non-concerned, "They're all low-hanging fruits."

"And what? You're waiting for the golden apple?" Raven chortled behind her fingers.

"Just maybe, Reyes."

"Speaking of settling…" Murphy coughed loudly.

"No one was speaking of settling, Murphy." Monroe corrected him. He gave her a hard glare.

Clarke followed where his gaze had meant to bring all of them, and gave a soft smile. It was Bree and Wells, enjoying lunch together and laughing together. She was incredibly happy that Wells seemed so at ease.

"He's the chancellor's son." Clarke said, turning back to Murphy with a steely resolution, ready to defend one of her best friends, "He wouldn't have to 'settle' for anyone. He could get any girl he wants. He chose Bree, he's very happy."

"Almost any girl." Murphy corrected, giving Clarke a meaningful look. She didn't like the way it made her stomach twist, and ignored it. She'd always wondered if Wells liked her a little more than just in a best friend way, but she'd never seen him like that, and the thought of their friendship being ruined by, well that, it made her uncomfortable. So she didn't acknowledge his jeer. Besides, half of what Murphy said was bullshit anyway.

"Wells!" Raven stood on the table, waving them over, which was silly since they sat in the same place everyday and could very easily find them if they had wanted to. They didn't seem upset about bringing their meal to their friends, though, and eased into the quiet chatter.

"So do you know what the Unity Day plans are?" Harper asked Wells.

"Nothing exciting for us, if that's what you're asking." Wells moved his noodles around on the plate, "Senior citizens year, according to my dad."

Almost everyone at the table gave a sigh of regret. Murphy was likely about to make a snotty comment, but Raven whacked him so hard on the back that he began to choke a little on a noodle he'd taken from Wells' plate.

"But hey…" Wells said, noting the despondent looks around him now, "I mean, we can stay for the food and the speech and all, but I'm sure my dad would be fine with letting me have something at my place for you guys."

"Great idea." Miller said, "My dad just inherited a new board game. I'll bring that over."

"My parents would happily provide anything we don't have." Clarke added.

"This sounds like a great alternative." Bree said, although she seemed a little uncomfortable at the idea of a big group. Clarke knew she hated lots of people, even if she knew all of them very well at this point.

"Hey…" Wells said, taking her hand and pulling them into a private moment, as though the group of people around them didn't exist, "I'll be there with you…and if you don't think you can-,"

"Nonsense. You should throw the party. I will be fine. I know you'll be there."

"Clarke?"

Clarke jumped around in her seat a little, seeing Bellamy standing behind her and the table, beginning to take off his guard's uniform.

"You have a dreamy smile on your face." He teased, sitting next to her. Wells and Bree were facing each other on the bench still, completely overtaken by each other's words. The rest of her friends had lost interest and gone on to discussing other topics. Still, she talked quietly.

"I just…I knew he'd be a good boyfriend. And they way they look at each other…I know he wasn't in love with her to begin with, but this might be the real thing." She turned to Bellamy, wonder in her eyes.

"Doesn't it scare you that you might lose him to her then?"

"No, of course not. This is Wells. I want him to be as happy as he can be. And if it's for love…" She gave a quiet chuckle, "I just…I want someone to look like me like that and for me to look at them back. Not even today…just, someday."

"I'm sure someone will." Bellamy assured, awkwardly patting her back. It wouldn't have been awkward, but she noticed that he almost didn't- there was a slight pause as though he was contemplating whether he should touch her or not-before he got over it.

"What about you?" Clarke chose not to over analyze that pat, "Is that what you're worried about?" She raised an eyebrow. Bellamy took a second too long to answer.

"Naw, not really. Just heart a guy on the force saying something like that today…kind of thought it was a weird concern. I mean, don't have to worry about it with you guys…you're all too young. Ana…she's great with getting guys to sleep with her, not so great at keeping them around. Honestly, I think they're terrified she'll eat them after. And Benny? Imagining him settling down? That's…" He gave a bark of laugher, "It wouldn't be his choice, let's just say. He enjoys being single far too much."

"I think that it's silly the guy you overheard is even worrying about it. If you were friends before, there's no reason you can't be friend after. Look at my mom, my dad, and Chancellor Jaha? They became friends when they were all 12."

Bellamy grunted, shaking out his hair from the helmet-shape it had come to resemble.

"So, do you have to work the Senior's Unity Day Party?" Monty asked Bellamy from across the table.

Bellamy groaned.

"I am all for respecting elders," He began, wincing, "But I really hope not. I worked the one last year, so maybe I'll get a break? There's a lot of new recruits to help the senior citizens play bingo or get them back home safely."

"Good! Because Wells is having an awesome party for us at his place." Miller said, on the same thought line as Monty.

"That sounds great." Bellamy gave a genuine grin, "Now I really hope I don't have to work! Do you mind if I invite-" He began, likely to ask about Ana and Benny.

"No problem." Wells answered, seemingly rejoining the group instead of staring with doe-eyes at Bree, "Ask whoever…I mean, within reason. My dad's place isn't built to fit all forty of the group."

October 1st seemed to come quickly after that, and it wasn't long until Clarke was crammed into Wells' apartment with almost twenty-five other people. And, for the first time in her life, she was incredibly aware of her singleness. Not that she'd been looking for a partner right now, but seeing almost everyone else with someone else…it was, admittedly exhausting.

Wells was curled up with Bree on the couch, throwing popcorn to for each other to catch in their mouths, being almost too cute to handle. Marisha and Harry were chatting with some of the kids their age, still going strong despite the rejection of their marriage application. Harper seemed to be getting cozy to a guy Clarke didn't recognize, but was quite the catch. Jasper, who wasn't interested in dating anyone, had a gaggle of girls giggling around him. Raven was watching one of the movies in Wells collection with Murphy sitting on one side and Finn on the other, watching Raven more than the movie although she hardly looked at him. They were at that age, she supposed, but it didn't make it any harder to watch.

At first, her singular consolation that she wasn't alone had been Monty was flying solo tonight as well, but she just ended up feeling shitty for him when his smile dropped off his face the moment Miller walked in holding hands with a kid named Bryan. But his sadness and loneliness didn't last long, because Monroe came up and shyly asked him to dance. And thus he left Clarke, sitting with a glass of Sprite and wondering when everyone started coupling up? And how she'd missed it?

Of course, not everyone was with someone, but all her best friends were and that left her in a position that she wasn't sure she liked. She didn't mind talking with some of the other people in her group, but they were usually older or younger so she always felt a little out of the loop of inside jokes.

"Where's Bellamy?" She complained to Benny, wishing he'd get here sooner. If there was one thing she could count on him for, it was that he never seemed to get close to girls. She always thought it strange, but tonight, she was banking on this.

"He got stuck having to supervise the party. One of the new recruits accidently burned off all his hair in a tragic training accident. I'm surprised you didn't hear about it."

"Oh, yeah." Clarke vaguely remembered her mother trying not to laugh about the poor boy's misfortune today. She hadn't thought it would make Bellamy have to fill in, though.

"They drew sticks." Benny said, as though reading her mind, "It was just a shitty day for him, I guess."

Wells front door slid open, and Clarke saw the familiar unruly patch of dark hair being greeted, and practically shot off the sofa. She was so relieved.

"Thank god you're here!" She said, throwing herself at him. He tensed when she hugged him, which was highly unusual, and she was about to ask about it, until she noticed a girl trailing in behind him that she didn't know.

She'd seen her around in the couple times she'd been down to the Factory Station, and she did seem to be about Bellamy's age. It wasn't like she happened to be coming in at the same time as him either because when she looked down, she saw their hands were intertwined.

"Oh…" She said faintly. Her eye movement was not unnoticed by Bellamy or the girl.

"You must be Clarke. Bellamy tells me how good of friends you are. I'm Gina Martin." She unraveled her hand to shake Clarke's. Clarke swallowed, nodding to her.

"You didn't tell me you were, uh, bringing someone." She tried to keep her tone casual. In all honesty, she felt hurt. She'd been telling him this entire time about her kisses and dates and he hadn't been doing the same. Maybe he thought her to be immature or far to flippant, or maybe he didn't want her knowing this part of his life.

"I tried to ask yesterday, but Wells assumed it was Ana or Benny." His face was pretty flushed, "I didn't think I'd have to work an extra shift today either and I could introduce you two before all this."

At least he'd intended that, Clarke thought to herself.

"Well," She wasn't totally satisfied, "I feel like an idiot. I didn't even know you liked someone!" She decided to let it go, be a friend about it. She couldn't expect to be privy to everything in his life, she figured.

"Oh, don't be so shocked!" Gina laughed, "I've been flirting with him for what seems like years and he's been surprisingly unobservant. I had to finally ask him out, and even then I was terrified that it seemed I would be coming out of left field. When I finally gathered the courage two days ago, he said yes but he seemed surprised I had interested in him."

This made Clarke feel infinitely better. Besides, she wanted Bellamy to date and be happy. But the idea that he hadn't been lusting after her this whole time but instead had been approached made her feel much more at ease. All her negative feelings whooshed away. She gave a devilish grin.

"Guys are about as perceptive as spoons, especially this one." She teased, gaining a full smile from Gina.

"Hey!" Bellamy protested.

"My god, she could have had a neon sign saying 'I like Bellamy Blake' hanging over her head, and you would have still gotten that deer-in-headlights look when she asked you."

"I'm going to go get some drinks instead of sitting here being abused," Bellamy interjected, but he was grinning, "Want something?"

"Sure." Clarke said at the same time Gina replied 'yes'. Clarke almost kicked herself. He'd come with a date, of course he wasn't asking her. He didn't seem to be perturbed by her faux pas and gave thumbs up to both of them.

"So he really is best friends with the Alpha Princess." Gina mused when he left, although not unkindly, just more with wonder.

"Yeah," Clarke rubbed her arms, "Our parents kinda always pushed us together, stars know why. You're lucky. He's a great guy." Clarke said.

"Oh, don't I know? I'm utterly surprised he wasn't already taken. I think everyone else is crazy not to think he's perfect."

Although Clarke wholeheartedly agreed, she felt weird being in accord with Gina in this way.

She maneuvered Gina to where there were three open bar stools at the breakfast bar, occasionally pointing out people in her and Bellamy's friend group. Bellamy seemed to have talked quite a bit about his friends in the day since they'd begun dating, because she seemed to have a good grip on each of them in small blips (Raven; "the really smart one", Miller; "gay and second-best guy friend", Benny; "best guy friend, say away from him or he'll try to hook up with you", Monty; "totally gay for Miller, wont say anything about it ever though", Murphy; "Our trash friend, but we love him" and so on).

"So what's he said about me then?" Clarke asked raising an eyebrow.

"Do you have like four hours? Because that's how much he talks about you."

This made Clarke smile like an idiot.

She saw Bellamy returning, balancing three drinks with him.

"And he won't shut up about your artistic skills! I didn't know I believed him- I mean he was comparing you to Monet or Picasso, but then I saw your tattoo that you're doing for him."

The smile slid off Clarke's face.

"You…you've seen his tattoo?"

It wasn't unrealistic to expect that if they were dating they would eventually do what people who dated did. But if they'd only known each other for two days, at least in a closer way…

Also, something about Bellay's tattoo was incredibly personal to her. Even though it had been nearly a year since she'd started it, she still wasn't done. It was by far the biggest tattoo she'd ever done, spanning across his entire upper side of his back and the tips of his arms, so it naturally took a very long time. They also found far less times to be alone to work on it, so they maybe got a chance to do it every two weeks or so. She found she enjoyed these sessions a thousand times more than when she'd done Murphy's and had that thing with Finn, and she thought that was as happy as she could have ever been. She'd also figured out by herself that Bellamy hated needles around their second time working on it, but he'd never asked for her to stop doing it. Although he still refused to find out what it was, she'd informed him that it would be very large, and yet he still powered through. She didn't want to force him to too much needle in one day though.

"Yeah, but he says he doesn't want to know what it is until it's completely done, so don't worry-I didn't tell him. It's totally incredible, though! He showed it to me just to prove that you were that good."

"It wasn't like we were doing anything." Bellamy was quick to add.

Clarke tried not to let it bother her; tattoos were meant to be seen, unfinished or not.

And, as the night progressed, she couldn't hate Gina if she tried. She was funny, intelligent, kind, and adored Bellamy. She couldn't ask for a better person for him to date. She also seemed to have zero problems with his friendship with Clarke, and in fact encouraged them to keep close even if she would be taking up a bit more of his time now.

She had to leave before the party finished because she worked a very early morning shift, finally leaving Clarke with her friend. They eventually migrated to one of the couches, sitting with drinks and handfuls of chips.

"So…do you like her?" Bellamy asked, catching Clarke's eye.

"Why does it matter?" She shrugged, "If you like her, everyone else's opinions shouldn't change much."

"But I want you to like her." Bellamy pressed, "I couldn't date someone you thought was awful, ever. You're the ultimate veto."

"So, if I said I hated her, you'd break up with her tomorrow?" Clarke raised an unbelieving eyebrow.

"Yes." There wasn't a doubt of uncertainty in his voice, and she was shocked at his resolve.

"Rest assured, she's wonderful." Clarke said, and she did see him completely relax.

"I thought you two might get on. I mean, if we do date awhile, I guess you'll be seeing her a bit." He said.

"What, on awkward dates with me third wheeling?" She chuckled, and from Bellamy's face, perhaps it wasn't too far from what he was thinking.

"Well, not all the time. Maybe you could find someone and we could double date?" He said.

"Maybe." Clarke shrugged. She didn't currently have her eye on anyone, but maybe she'd start looking harder, "Everyone is kind of hooking up. I don't know whose left for me to date. Haven't you noticed?" She said, motioning to all the couples around them.

Bellamy did a quick look around, "My god, you're right. How strange."

As thought to prove her point even more, the song changed to a much quieter tempo, and people began coupling up for a slow dance. Bellamy and Clarke looked at each other, as though both considering suggesting they go out for one friends dance, but then both snorted, thinking better of it.

"Poor Monty." Bellamy commented, seeing Miller dancing with Bryan.

"Maybe not." Clarke said, nodding him and nodding where he was dancing with Monroe, and she had leaned up to kiss him, and he wasn't objecting.

"So he bats for both teams?" Bellamy asked, because Monty had never really come forward and confirmed either way.

"Suppose so." Clarke said.

"Wells looks really happy. From the way you talked about it, he didn't seem so keen on dating Bree." Bellamy said to, looking at where Bree was laying her head on his shoulder.

"Sometimes I guess someone just has to point it out."

"And Finn looks like a kicked puppy."

"What?" Clarke asked, then saw his forlorn expression as he sat alone, "Oh, you're right. Look why!" She giggled behind her hand. Raven had dragged Murphy out to the dance floor and he seemed to be fighting it every step of the way, until about thirty seconds after when it seemed no one was paying attention to them (but to their significant others) and he actually looked…happy?

"My god, are they dating already?" Bellamy said in exasperation.

"I don't think so. We'd know." Clarke said, "But seriously, they need to just kiss and get it out of the way."

"Agreed! How can two people who are so clearly meant to be act so oblivious about it? It's like they're punishing all of us that see their sexual tension by pretending it doesn't exist." Bellamy waved a hand.

"For real. It's like everyone else can see it and Raven and Murphy are choosing to be blind. They must have some idea. I can't ever imagine being that way with someone, could you?" She turned toward Bellamy. He looked at her hard for a second, before cracking a smile and shaking his head.

"Absolutely unthinkable, I agree." He nodded, "Meant to be…" He trailed off quietly.

She settled back into his chest, taking his drink from his hand because hers was empty and downed it, clicking her tongue.

"Some people…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOT LONG UNTIL THEY ACTUALLY GET TOGETHER! I PROMISE IT'S COMING!
> 
> Btw, thank you to the reviewer that a long time ago suggusted that I do a Unity day chapter! This turned out to be quite the chapter, eh?
> 
> Remember to review :)


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah, pretty early update. Mostly because a) I'm bored here before school starts, finding a job has been pretty unsuccessful (b) I'm really far ahead anyway with this story, like by seven chapters, so I'm in a pretty happy spot and (c) this chapter turned out to be far longer than I thought it was when I went back to proof-read it, so it will be a two part chapter with the second part coming out within the next 3-5 days.

Ten Years after Start of Program

"Yeah, Gina sound great…but honestly, I'd rather meet Clarke if given the chance." Octavia informed Bellamy, cutting him off as he was in the middle of regaling his latest date with his girlfriend to his sister.

"Well, you're not going to get either." He grumbled, a little annoyed that his sister seemed perpetually bored with his stories of Gina, and only perked up when Clarke was involved. Obviously if he could date Clarke he wouldn't be opposed, but Clarke didn't like him that way and he was pretty happy in his nearly six-month relationship with Gina.

"I'm just saying." Octavia held up her hands in a 'surrender' motion.

"I think you're just sour because you can't have a boyfriend." He said, and sort of regretted it the moment he said it.

"You're right. I am." Octavia turned around sharply, and curled herself in the blanket, "Thanks for reminding me."

Bellamy rubbed his hands over his face. He'd been totally insensitive. God, that was just a jackass comment.

"O…"

"What does mom expect me to do, Bell?" She finally looked up at her older brother, biting her lip and trying not to cry, "I'm fifteen. I want to fall in love, have a family. I want what you have. And that's even too much to ask."

In reality, he was pretty sure his mother hadn't even imagined they'd make it this far with Octavia. As far as he knew, this was the longest anyone had ever successfully hid a second child, unless there was some 18-year-old out there somewhere (which, there very well could be, because no one would know) but he sort of wished he could because maybe then they'd ask him or her how they dealt with adulthood.

She wasn't a child anymore. It was silly to expect her to be satisfied with ragdolls and ribbons. Was life worth living if you never got to amount to anything? Never got to love another person beside your family? Never got to make friends? It was very philosophical questions Bellamy had always been afraid to really think too hard about, for Octavia's sake.

"I don't know." He sat besides her, giving a long sigh.

"I figured." She sniffled, wiping away her tears.

"One day, I'll figure something out." He murmured, "One day maybe I'll be high enough to be able to pardon you and mom from your crimes. One day is better than nothing."

"Unless it's built on false hope." Octavia replied, twiddling her thumbs, "I don't think too much about it. It's just hard to hear about you and Gina. I'm happy for you, really."

"Thanks O." He checked his watch, "Speaking of which, I'm meeting her to have dinner with the gang. Want me to try to bring stuff back?"

"Uh, duh!" Octavia rolled her eyes, "Especially if it's bacon. Don't even eat it for yourself, just bring the whole pan back here." She teased, forcing a grin on her face.

"I'll make up some lie that the meat was contaminated…or something." He agreed, playing along, "Confiscate it…for their safety."

He tipped his head to her, and locked their door behind him.

News traveled obnoxiously fast here, even if you weren't on the Guard. Since Bellamy was, however, he heard about every incident within a day of anything happening, from locker-room gossip or to official meetings with Shumway and Miller to explain what the procedure would be. So, it was very uncommon for something to happen without Bellamy knowing about it first.

Yet he realized that must be the case, for when he walked into the hangout place, there was no happy chatter or playful teasing between anyone. It was just silent and morbid.

"Who died?" He whispered in complete seriousness as he sat down next to Clarke. Gina hadn't arrived yet.

"It's Simon." Clarke said evenly, and he panicked for a moment when he couldn't see the brown-haired boy. It was painful to imagine losing anyone in the group, "They…his parents…" He stared at Clarke, gathering it wasn't Simon who was dead but someone else (or at least, he assumed a death still at this point).

"They found out he has a younger sister." Jasper cut in, speaking the words of which she had been unable to say.

It was like someone poured a bucket of ice water down his back. There hadn't been a child found since Octavia's birth.

"She's nine. Her name is Charlotte. They found her last night…she was so young. They decided not to punish Simon since he didn't ask for a younger sister and they understand why he hid her, but the parents are to be floated." Miller said with a grimace, "There's going to be a meeting for the guards today, soon." He met Bellamy's eyes.

"And the girl?" He was almost afraid to ask. It wasn't common these children were found, so there wasn't a set guide of how to deal with them, and he'd checked the rulebook a thousand times.

"She's only nine. She's so young. They can't kill her." Harper was crying a little.

"They very well can." Miller's voice was grave, "My dad is going to vote against it, I know he will. He was crying about it too last night. Such a damn shame."

"Bell?" Clarke was waving a hand in front of his face, "Are you okay? You're really pale?"

"I just…I can't imagine it." He mumbled, and it was like everything was a dream sequence. Nothing seemed real to him anymore. It was all too bright or too dark in places, and voices were becoming jumbled together. God, this had to be a dream.

He pinched himself. It wasn't.

"I…I have to go. I should report to the guard station." He made a quick excuse. In reality, he had no intention of going there right away. He just felt like he was suffocating and he needed to leave before he fainted.

On the way out, he spotted Simon sitting against a wall, his face buried at his knees. Murphy was sitting next to him, talking.

"What are you doing?" Bellamy asked. Murphy looked up, a little surprised to see Bellamy.

"Welcoming him to the orphan's club. Although, since he's above age, he's in a much better position than me. Won't have to deal with adoptions or worse options." Murphy replied dryly.

"Gee, thanks." Simon lifted his head, glaring at Murphy. His eyes were puffy and red and his voice was quivering.

"Leave him alone, alright?" Bellamy said, grabbing Murphy's arm.

"Hey! I was just giving my condolences. Really!" Although Murphy sounded sincere, he wasn't the most comforting of people and Bellamy defiantly could understand how Simon might not want him hanging around.

"Really Murphy, beat it." Bellamy growled.

"Whatever man." Murphy pffed, sticking his hands in his pocket, "I was just trying to be nice."

Bellamy did feel a bit guilty for hurting Murphy's feelings, but he couldn't think about that now, not as he stared at Simon's face and realized with startling certainty that this could be him one day.

"Hey…" Bellamy sat beside him, a little unsure of how to start. They'd never really…talked. Until now, they hadn't really had a common factor, and Simon didn't even know what they shared.

As expected, Simon seemed mildly surprised.

"Before you ask how I'm holding up, it's shitty." Simon said, "It's all everyone's been asking since they found out. My mom and dad are being executed today and I have no idea what's going to happen to my sister. What do they expect?"

"I wasn't." Bellamy said, "I…" He almost told him. He almost said he knew exactly what Simon was feeling, although he prayed this day would never come for him. He almost said that he recognized that look of failure in his eyes, because like him, his sister was his responsibility and she'd been found out.

But in the end, he couldn't say any of that. He couldn't because this was a warning of what could happen, what he would never let happen, as long as he could help it.

"I can't say I know what you're going through, of course. But I'm a good listener and I hate to see anyone in so much anguish. If you need to talk…I'm here."

Simon seemed taken aback by his offer.

"You're the first person to offer that, you know. All my parents friends are shunning us for it, all my own friends are hurt I never told them, and everyone else treats me like I have the plague." Simon raked his fingers through his hair, "I love her. She's my sister. No one understands, because until you have a sibling it's not…it's not the same as a best friend. It's almost like having a kid, but you're allowed to hate them more sometimes. She always wants to prove she's an adult, but sometimes she's so naive…but that's almost endearing about her. She just wants to make people happy." He bit his arm to keep from crying.

"She sounds like a great person." Bellamy whispered.

"She is. And they might kill her too and I'll be the only person left alive to have known." As much as he tries, he couldn't stop from crying now. He made no apologizes, and Bellamy never expected one.

"How did they find her?" Bellamy found the courage to ask after a long time.

"I don't even know. No one will tell me anything. I just came to hang out with her today and the whole place was just turned upside down…and she was gone. I haven't even been able to see her since. Or my parents…I won't until today when they…oh, shit." He turned away again, "I hate that they're being punished for being too moral to kill a kid. My mom…she didn't even realize she was pregnant with Charlotte until it was almost time for her to be born. Her periods were always irregular, according to my dad, and she kept in really good shape. No symptoms, nothing. By the time they knew…how could the rightly kill something already so alive?"

Bellamy nodded. It hadn't even been an accident for his mom. He always was told the moment she missed her period, the moment she thought maybe she was pregnant; aborting it like women were meant to do was never an option for it. It was obviously an uncommon thought, but growing up with Octavia, Bellamy couldn't imagine life without her…even if it might be easier.

After that, it's like Simon just couldn't stop talking. Stories upon stories spilled from his mouth, and he just couldn't stop it, even though he was crying most of the time.

Bellamy's pager rung, and he ignored it. He got calls, he ignored it. Eventually, he just turned it all off.

At first, he thought he may be obligated to come merely because of the connection the two had, and that's why he'd offered up his ear. He did fully mean it, but he was surprised that Simon had taken him up on it so quickly…and perhaps Simon was a little surprised too.

But he stayed and ignored his summons because he realized how shatteringly alone Simon seemed, how desperately he needed to talk about his sister to someone else. And now, even if his sister was floated, Bellamy felt as though he knew her too.

It was hours that it took until Simon seemed to dry up of his tales, his musings, and his thoughts. Bellamy was surprised none of Simon's friends had come for him, although perhaps he didn't have as many friends as Bellamy had. It was understandable. Had Clarke Griffin not broke down the wall of his life, he wouldn't have any of the friends he had now, but would have likely isolated himself to keep Octavia safe. It was understandable Simon would have done the same…he loved his sister just as passionately as Bellamy loved his.

"It's been three hours." Simon realized with chagrin, "Don't you have a job I'm keeping you from?"

"Don't you have one?" Bellamy replied back, tilting his head.

"Electric engineer…and not today, or tomorrow, or the next. My boss told me to take off as much time as I need, but I know the real reason why I was told not to come back for a week…I can see it in all their faces. I'm a pariah. A scorn on society now."

"Yeah." Bellamy gave a humorous laugh, "Shitty feeling…"

"How do I go back to anything now?" Simon asked honestly, "My life…it's so different. Do I try to adopt my sister? Is that even legal?"

"I…I wish I knew. The guard hasn't had to deal with an illegal child in twenty years."

Simon gave a click of his tongue as he thought, "We were so careful. Not enough, apparently. Maybe it's for the best. Charlotte was getting restless and I hated seeing her like that." He said, and Bellamy closed his eyes. Oh, god how he could relate.

"I should go, check in. I'm sure the guard has ways they want to handle this…I'll try to keep things in your favor and hers. I don't know if I can do much, of course."

"Thanks." Simon said, and he still looked so lonesome.

"Hey…if you still need to talk, at any time, I'll come talk to you. Two AM, five AM, noon…I'll make the time." Bellamy said.

"Why are you doing this? We've never talked before." Simon asked, a reasonable question.

"Because…" Bellamy paused for a long time, trying to decide if he should tell him or not, "Because we're part of something bigger, all of us." He showed his group tattoo, "And that means something to me. We're all family, in a way."

Simon looked down at his own tattoo, on the inside of his arm. He just nodded thoughtfully.

Bellamy arrived at the guard station, an embarrassingly late entrance to when he was summoned. As expected, the meeting was long done.

"Blake." Shumway's sharp voice made him wince. This would be his first mark against him, the first time he'd ever gotten in real trouble, "You didn't arrive for the mandatory meeting. My office." He said. He was glad to see Miller's father stand to follow, although his usual preferred superior didn't look any happier with him.

On the way to the office, Bellamy looked at his pager. Thirty new pages. Yep, he was in deep waters now. He didn't regret it, though.

He sat across from both of them, their faces long and frowning.

"I assume you've heard the news by now, Cadet Blake." Miller began first, "It's a circumstance I'm glad to say we encounter so infrequently that most people don't know what to do. Care to explain what you thought was so important as to skip the protocol meeting for this event?"

"I…I was with Simon. The older child." Bellamy unconsciously rubbed the spot under his shirt where his tattoo was, "He's in my after school group, or was when we were children."

"And you thought your work time would be better spent with the boy we're looking into? That harbored a secret sister for ten whole years?" Shumway asked evenly.

"Sir, with all due respect…he's lost everything. His parents are being floated today and who knows what will happen with his sister. He's an absolute mess, and I can't blame him. You've already freed him of any blame, but even if you hadn't and he was going to be floated or locked away it doesn't negate his status as a member of the Ark. He is until the moment he dies. I made a pact when I joined to protect and help every single member…I believe that includes him."

There was a moment of quiet as his supervisors considered his words. He was surprised when Shumway gave an actual smile, almost warm (keyword; almost).

"That is a very convincing speech, Cadet Blake." David Miller stated, and although he couldn't see it, Bellamy saw he was proud.

"Quite articulate, I agree. There wasn't much to say at the meeting anyway, we're no closer to deciding on what to do with the girl." Shumway sighed, "I will write down that you were not here, but I will take no further punishment against you. Your shift starts in half an hour, but you'll start now anyway to make up for it. Your punishment is what your job is going to be tonight…we need you and two other guards to go down and clear out her parent's house and take the thing to the redistribution center. As you can imagine, no one is jumping to take it."

"Yeah," Bellamy frowned, "Can't be a popular job." He didn't really want to do it either. But he was glad to get off with a smack on the wrists, as it were, and he wasn't the type to disobey a direct order like this.

"Some are superstitious, some just don't like to be reminded of the harder parts of policing people." Shumway shrugged, "Either way, you don't have much of a say in it, Blake. Wait in the training area for the other guards that will be joining you."

"Yes sir." Bellamy bowed out, and took a seat where he was directed to wait. It was a long while before anyone else came over, and that gave him ample time to think…something he wasn't too happy about, because it brought up a lot of demons.

"Hey, Bellamy." Ana slid into the seat across from him in full guard gear.

"You coming with me?" He asked, a little hopeful.

"I offered. You looked so pathetic over here, alone, sad. Hope you didn't get yelled at too much." She said.

Bellamy licked his lips. She figured he looked depressed because his bosses had just chewed him out. In reality, he was really taking the time to think about everything and how numb the whole situation felt. He was thinking about how it just as easily could have been his sister being carted away, his mother being floated. He was thinking about how Simon must feel, and how Charlotte must feel too. He was thinking about Octavia and how worried he was, because he was sure they'd be checking everywhere now for other illegal children. He hoped his mother had caught wind and she was safely under the floorboards right now.

This was all things he couldn't tell Ana.

"Just a bit, but no one likes getting in trouble." He said, shrugging and trying to look not as sad.

It wasn't long before two other guards showed up and they began making their way to Power Station. It was a mid-level living situation, much bigger rooms than he and his mother and Octavia shared, and as they made their way over he wondered how in the world they got caught if they had so many more luxuries?

When they arrived there, a little girl was sitting outside, face red and blotchy. She was wearing her ashy blonde hair in two plaits down her back and although her physical characteristics didn't look much like Simon, it was her face and her eyes that told Bellamy right away who she was.

"Frickin…" Ana whispered under her breath, recognizing her as well.

"Why is she here?" Bellamy questioned the guard on duty outside the door.

"We didn't know where else to take her. And even if we tried, she uh…wouldn't leave." The cadet, a new one this year, admitted. One of the older guards with Bellamy rolled his eyes.

"She's ten, McFarland." He reminded, "Just pick her up."

"And take her where?" Ana asked, putting her hands on her hips, "At least here we know where she is."

The older guards grunted in agreement, and relieved the two people that had been keeping watch.

"Have you ever cleaned out a room?" One of the older guards, Paul, asked Bellamy and Ana.

They shook their heads. It was a rare circumstance that rooms needed to be cleared. If a person died of old age, and was still living in a singular room, most of their belongings were given to their child or grandchild. It was only in extreme situations like this where both people were being floated and the last person alive wasn't old enough to inherit much of anything. Simon had already been by to take a few items, but he'd moved out two years ago into a male dorm system so anything he'd wanted he probably already had. The last time Bellamy personally remembered people cleaning a room out was with Murphy's room.

"Start with the small things. Take it to the redistribution center, hand it off to the person in charge there. I believe its Beverly today. Nothing much else, pretty easy. For the big furniture that's not standard set, don't try to be a hero, ask each other to help carry it. We can't afford to be breaking things around here." Paul instructed.

"Does Charlotte get anything?" Bellamy asked, aware of her eyes on the back of them the entire time they stood there. She was watching and doing so very closely.

Paul and his friend looked uncomfortable.

"We don't even know where she's going, you know? She might just end up in the Sky Box. She can't have anything there."

"You heard Shumway, she's like ten. They're leaning more toward something other than the Sky Box." Ana said, obviously something Bellamy missed from the meeting.

"Is there anything you'd like to take?" Bellamy turned around, asking Charlotte before anyone could stop him.

She stayed silent though, never moving from the doorway, her eyes as big as saucers and eyes still leaking.

Paul shrugged, "C'mon. Let's start working."

It went okay for the first hour. Charlotte stayed out of their way; just watching them take away her life. Bellamy found where her section was fairly quickly, but found little evidence of a secret hiding place for her. Then again, perhaps they didn't have to hide her like they did Octavia. He was pretty sure Clarke had never gotten a random inspection done to her cabin in her life, so maybe Power Station people were high enough up so all they had to do was keep her inside?

It was eerie, digging through someone else's lives like this. Touching their clothes, their books, their small trinkets…it almost felt as though he knew them.

The trouble came when Paul led Bellamy into the master bedroom to have him start clear that area out and handed him extremely intimate things in the sense that Bellamy felt like he'd walked into something too quiet for him. It was wedding rings, nice jewelry, a baby blanket in blue, a holographic frame with Charlotte and Simon's parents on their wedding day, a worn rabbit stuffed animal…things that were more than just objects to own.

He walked outside, and made the mistake of slowing as he passed Charlotte, and she saw what was in his hands.

"Don't take those!" She cried, springing toward him. He was shocked at her movement and her speech, and stumbled back, tripping over his own feet.

"Give them back!" She screamed at him, reaching for it.

"Charlotte…I'm sorry…I can't…" Bellamy said, and was shocked when she shoved him back when he tried to stand, her little hands grappling for the objects.

Bellamy wanted more than anything to just let her have it. She deserved something of her parents, didn't she? He reached forward to pick up the rabbit off the ground with the intention of handing it over to her, but her face was wild with anger and anguish.

"Get away from me!" Her voice echoed off the metal walls of the Ark. She began hitting him with her fists and kicking out, surprisingly hard for a girl her age, pushing him away. One blow hit his face and he winced.

"Charlotte, please stop." He said, reaching a hand out, "I promise I'm not trying to hurt you."

But she didn't exactly feel the same, because he felt a flash of pain and looked down to see a sharpened piece of metal in his side that she'd clearly had up her sleeve. Blood dripped onto the floor, and she yanked it out, even seemingly surprised at her own actions.

There were three clicks, and everyone's guns were at her head.

"For fucks sake!" Bellamy stood, "Put your guns down, she's ten!"

"And she just assaulted an officer." Paul replied, but even he seemed unsure. Yet, as Bellamy pressed his hand to his wound, no one could deny or ignore what had happened. His eyes were still on Charlotte, who was still holding onto her handmade knife like her life depended on it. In what kind of messed up world did they live that a ten-year-old felt the need to protect herself like this, he wondered.

"Bell…you're bleeding all over." Ana said, "We need to take you to medical." She took a careful step forward and then snatched the knife from Charlotte's hands in a swift movement. Paul and the other guard stepped in, each grabbing an arm and leg.

"You need to get to medical." Paul said.

"What about Charlotte?" Bellamy questioned. Paul was looking at him like he was crazy to even wonder.

"We'll hold a meeting and her fate will be decided."

"Don't start until I get there." Bellamy said firmly, wincing as he moved. Paul gave him an amused snort.

"You just got stabbed by her. I think you have the right to ask that of us." He said, "Get cleaned up. Guard W, go with him."

"Of course."

Before they left, Bellamy snatched the rabbit from the ground and stuffed it into his bag. Ana didn't question.

By the time they made it to medical, Bellamy was covered in a film of sweat and it was excruciating to move. His whole hand was covered in blood and his guard's uniform was pretty much ruined.

"Bellamy!" Abby said, eyes widening as soon as she saw him. She swiftly diverted all her other tasks to the other doctors, and cleared a bed for him, "What happened?"

"We had a little problem clearing out the Dibdin house. Charlotte went a little bat shit crazy. Stabbed him with this homemade knife." Ana explained, showing her the object in question.

"She was upset." Bellamy objected through gritted teeth, about to say more, but winced.

"Don't try to talk. Let's pray to god that wasn't infected in any sort of way." Abby said, "Thank you, Ana. You can head back."

She stripped off his jacket and pushed up his shirt to see where Charlotte had gotten him on his side. It was pretty ugly, Bellamy could admit to himself.

"It's not clean, that's for sure. As in precision, not infection." Abby assured when Bellamy's eyes widened, "But it didn't hurt anything important, but you are bleeding quiet a bit. I'm going to need to stitch it up." She looked apologetic.

"That's a big needle…" He commented, trying to joke when he saw the size of the thing, also trying to distract his own thoughts.

"I know, I'm sorry. Clarke told me you hate them." She said. At any other time, he may dwell on the fact Clarke had figured out how much they freaked him out and be embarrassed, but that was pretty much the farthest thing from his mind.

She gave him something to bite down on as she cleaned it and sewed it up. Halfway through the procedure, Clarke burst into the room.

"Clarke." He said, so relieved to see her. At her heels was Gina, who he was a little ashamed to admit he hadn't even thought until now.

"As soon as I heard I got Gina." Clarke said, and sounded out of breath.

"Oh my god, are you okay?" Gina said, grabbing his hand.

"He will be." Abby said, "But he'll have a nasty scar to show for it." She said, frowning.

"I think scars are cute." Gina said, smiling down at him.

"Well thank god, then." He managed to smile back.

He noticed Clarke grimacing at their PDA in the background. He knew it wasn't the blood that was making her make such a face; that was for sure.

By the time all was said and done and fixed up, he realized he'd spent his entire shift here. He was free by any means to go home…but he couldn't, not yet.

"Have they decided Charlotte's fate?" He asked Abby. He needed to defend her.

"No, I'm required to be there. And you wanted to be there?" She said, motioning for him to follow.

"To speak on her behalf."

Abby's eyebrows rose in surprise, but she didn't comment.

"We'll wait out here." Clarke said, and Gina nodded in agreement when they reached the doors.

Inside, everyone was talking over each other. Simon jumped up, right by the door.

"Shit, she stabbed you. It's true." He said, staring at where Bellamy's light gray shit was stained with blood. He didn't sound shocked as much as angry. Assaulting an officer even if you were a lawful citizen usually never ended well…they'd have even less guilt about killing a kid. At least, not if Bellamy could help it.

"No harm, really." Bellamy said. Simon didn't seem to hear him. He kicked a chair, pulling at his hair. He realized why the boy was frustrated, his sister hadn't done herself any favors with this action.

Bellamy was pulled away before he could say anything more, but saw Simon was being allowed to stay. Charlotte was up by Jaha, looking completely terrified. She shrunk when she saw Bellamy.

The meeting and the members seemed mostly in agreement, although she was young, she had committed a crime and stabbed a guardsmemember and this made her unpredictable. Even if she weren't an illegal child, this would still be a heavy allegation. Bellamy feared he'd never be able to say anything for her, but right at the end, Jaha turned to him.

"We do have the guard she assaulted today, and I believe he wishes to speak? Cadet Blake?" He said, and Bellamy stood.

"Sir, I'd like to speak on her behalf." The whispers followed him because this was not something anyone expected.

"So…she stabbed you and you want to defend her, is that what you're saying?" Diana Sydney questioned.

"Yes." Bellamy shifted on his feet; "She is losing her mom and her dad and her whole life in one singular day. She only got to see her brother a moment ago, and ever so briefly. She's also ten, and young." He swallowed, remembering that Murphy wasn't much younger when he nearly got himself locked away either, "And no one told her how to act in this situation. No one did much about her at all, except gossip. She didn't ask to be born, that is on her parents. She's never gotten a chance to be anywhere, go anywhere because she couldn't. Those four walls is all she's ever known…are we really so surprised the thought of losing that terrifies her?" He swallowed, "I know we can't ignore this," He motioned to his blotchy shirt, "But we can be compassionate beings and elect not to float her." He sat down, wondering if he'd said enough. Jaha, though, was nodding with a deeply thoughtful look on his face.

"We will decide and come back." He announced, and the council got up one by one.

This was the up there with some of the most excruciating moments of his life, in terms of having to wait.

When he came back, no one spoke.

"We have elected that because the person she attacked advocated for her so strongly, could find in his heart to forgive her, that she will not be floated. She will, though, have to pay for her crime and will put into the Sky Box."

Bellamy felt half a weight lift off his chest. This was great, by any means, but he wasn't sure what he'd been expecting to happen.

He made sure to meet Simon at the door.

"I can't repay you enough…I don't know…I guess it's a miracle I only have to watch my parents being floated now, instead of a sister as well. That's thanks to you. She stabbed you." He still sounded flabbergasted. He looked fatigued though.

"Hey, Sky Box…not awful. You'll be able to get visitation in two years and who knows after that." He said, patting his back.

"It's a nice thought, but that's all it is after that." Simon sighed in resignation, "You heard the words they used for her; violent, unpredictable, problematic. Why would they let an illegal child out with that many problems on her 18th birthday, even if she were a perfect angel until then? She'll always be remembered as the illegal kid that went rouge and stabbed someone." He stuck his hands in his pockets, "I gotta go. Thanks, Bellamy. Really."

Clarke and Gina both jumped up the moment he left. It was only now that he realized how exhausted he felt; it was heaviness in his bones and his heart.

"So?"

"She's going to the Sky Box." Bellamy grunted.

"That's good, right?" Gina stepped forward, putting her hands on his waist, but careful not to touch his wound. He gently took them off.

"Yeah, suppose. I'm, uh, really tired." He said.

"Of course!" Gina looked embarrassed, "You should go sleep." She rubbed his back.

"I will. I'll see you both tomorrow." He said, excusing himself before someone could offer to walk him back. He needed the time between here and his house, alone.

He got three steps out of their sightline when he felt a rush of rage, sadness, and fear hit him all at the same time. He pressed his palms into the sockets of his eyes, as though pressing back the tears, at least until he made it home.

"Where's O?" He demanded as soon as he locked the door behind him, not seeing her anywhere. If she were caught, he would have known, right?

"I heard today." His mother's voice was choked with tears, "I hid her right away. They've came by twice…I don't trust them thought. We're not safe, not yet."

"I need to see her." He said, pushing back the table, "Octavia…" His voice broke when he saw her long frame curled up on the floor, her stuffed toy against her chest. She hadn't held it like that since she was young.

"I thought today was the end. I thought I'd never get to see you again." He said, grabbing her up into a tight hug. Her body quivered against his, and he cried into her hair.

"I thought so too." Her voice was weak, quiet.

"Bellamy! You're bleeding." For the first time, his mother noticed his bloodstained clothes.

"It's nothing. I'm fine. I got stitched up, see?" He said, lifting his shirt.

"Bell…what happened?" Octavia's eyes were like liquid chocolate.

"It doesn't matter. All that matters is that you're safe." He insisted, but he couldn't help but think of Simon…watching his parents being floated as they spoke. He couldn't help thinking of Charlotte either, with her doe-like stare as they threw her in a cold and unforgiving cell in the Sky Box. These thoughts made him break down more. As thankful as he was his family was still safe in this very moment how could he be happy?

That night, he fell asleep clutching his sister's body tightly. He refused to let go. She curled into him just as much, his larger body protecting hers. To think either of them got more than a couple hours of sleep was a silly thought. But their wakeless nights were not filled with quiet discussion, but instead a deafening silence. It was as though they were afraid to talk because they feared someone on the outside might hear them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! (Small) Story time because I've been waiting for this chapter for a long time.
> 
> In the beginning of writing this story, I was lazy and for the OCs I used a random face-claim generator thing to make up my characters. Iwan Rheon was one of the face-claims, and this is Simon.
> 
> Long ago, three years ago, I was obsessed with this British TV show called 'Misfits'. It's seriously amazing; if you haven't seen it, go watch it. There's superheros and teenagers and literally the most goddamn sad but best star-crossed lovers story line I've ever seen. It still makes me tear up to think about it, it's so well written and deserves a whole lot more fame than it has.
> 
> One of the characters is played by Iwan Rheon (or, you might know him better as the guy who played Ramsey Bolton on GoT) but on this show he's this totally awkward, geeky, introverted kid that always looks startled named Simon Bellamy.
> 
> Fast forward to when I started watching the 100, first time I ever heard Bellamy's name, I thought of the show Misfits, and because of that I've always associated Iwan Rheon and Bellamy on the 100 to be linked somehow. I had to add him in...he's one of my favorite actors. Someone that can go from playing a meek, unsure zero-woman-prowess nerd to a sexy superhero to a sadistic ruler has mad acting chops.
> 
> So, hope you enjoyed my little story time. Remember to review :)


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here I am, back with part 2 of the previous chapter :) It delves a little bit more into this whole other-illegal-child matter and the aftermath in short. People seemed to really like this, which I'm happy about. I wasn't sure; I personally really like this installment, but others may feel as though it's too far away from Bellarke and their general arc, but actually it was quite well received :)

Ten Years After Start of Project (Con't of last chapter)

Clarke rolled over the morning after the kid was found illegally, getting just as few hours of sleep as Bellamy had. She had spent the whole night tossing and turning, worrying about him. He'd come out like he'd seen a ghost; pale and wrought with darkness she hadn't seen. And while Bellamy wasn't clingy or didn't enjoy time alone, to not want her or Gina to accompany him back, even for a walk, was unlike him.

He had the entire world on his shoulders but he couldn't let anyone else share it. She didn't think it was merely his pride, as sometimes it was, but something deeper…a reason he couldn't tell them.

Her mother had raved about how brave and strong he was when he came in after getting stabbed, but she had voiced her concerns that he seemed preoccupied and distant unless he was defending Charlotte.

"He's a good kid." Jake had mused softly, "Not many people could turn around and forgive someone for dong that."

"She had a makeshift knife. She's hardly ten…" Clarke murmured, recalling how her entire body had frozen the moment she'd heard Bellamy had been hurt. The way it felt like she couldn't breathe and all she thought she was going to hear next was that it was fatal, and how terrifying a thought that could have been. She couldn't imagine a life without Bellamy.

"How did the manage to hide her for so long?" Jake questioned, "I think nine is the oldest one we've found…the last one was only a couple months old."

"I don't know." Abby said, "They only found out because her mother was a lab technician and they were updating the data scanners. A co-worker took a hair from her coat to log into the computer, but when they ran it against her last DNA sample, they realized while it was similar…it wasn't hers, nor was her husband or son's. Obviously, they were suspicious." Abby said.

"How awful." Jake looked sick.

"Well, we don't have the means or the airspace to entertain more than one child per couple." Abby's voice was stern, "But…I never thought death was an appropriate path for her." She softened.

"I know, I know." Jake sighed, "We have rules that are not meant to be broken, for our own safety." Clarke knew this too. She didn't disagree with the one-child law, but times like this made it gray and the line started to disappear.

"And how could you expect your own sibling to turn you in? I don't blame Simon for never saying anything…" Clarke wondered if she'd ever look at Simon the same? She'd forever think about every interaction they had, and look it differently knowing he had a secret sister. Of course, a lot of what they'd done wouldn't change- casual conversations about school or work- but to think he'd held this within him this entire time…that he knew what it was like to be a brother or have a sister…

Clarke was jealous, if she was being honest. He'd lost his mother and father for the mistake, and his sister was found out, but at least he'd known what that sort of bond was like. She'd read in books from before that it was one of the strongest bonds there was, but obviously she could only go so far as visualizing it.

"They should have never put him in that position." Jake said, a little angry, "I think that's why the council voted that he keep his job and life…it wasn't as though he asked for a sibling. And even if he did, it wasn't his doing."

"It's a tough situation." Abby agreed, "I just hope he doesn't let it haunt him forever."

That was the end of the conversation the previous night.

The next morning, she woke up at around 9 am, even though she was so tired her eyelids were drooping. It was a weekend and since both her parents still had work, she was free to sleep and nap as long as she wanted. Today she couldn't afford to do that; also she was pretty sure if she tried to sleep she'd just lay awake anyway.

She threw on some clothes, brushed through her hair and teeth, and walked with purpose. She was going to find Bellamy; she had to know he was okay.

She first checked the meeting room. He wasn't there, and neither was Simon. She didn't find this totally unreasonable, but apparently others did. Nearly everyone made one throwaway comment about how he shouldn't be alone or that he should be here, but no one made a move to find him. Murphy was the only who stayed silent, up until Brad made too casual a comment about dead parents and an off color joke.

"He just lost both his parents. Had to watch them die. I wouldn't want to show up either. Really, go float yourself." Murphy finally snapped, a sign the reminders of his parent's own demises were still heavy on his mind. Clarke put 'find Simon' on her list of things to do today as well. It was only fair she check up on him too. She first had to shove help separate Murphy and Brad, because Murphy's last comment had incited a fistfight. She wasn't really upset at Murphy…honestly; Brad deserved a good punch in the face sometimes.

She nearly ran into Bellamy on the way to his house in the Factory Station.

"Bellamy, what are you doing?"

"I'm going to work, Clarke." He said, his voice holding back a yawn. He had bags under his eyes and swayed a little on his feet.

"You should be at home, sleeping! Someone that tired can't be allowed to have a gun. Plus, you were stabbed yesterday." She pointed out. He looked down, as though he'd forgotten about it.

"Ah, well. Another day on the force." He stated, as though incidents like these were a casual thing. Sometimes a civilian would get rowdy, yes, but stabbing or physical injury like he'd sustained were not common at all.

"I'm going to come with you then and argue that you should get the day off." Clarke decided, because there was something else to his expression than just the want to go to bed. It was the look of someone trying to shove his life back together and miserably failing, a dangerous look. She wanted to keep an eye on him.

"Really?" He threw her an aggravated look, "Is that necessary?"

"Yes!" She declared firmly, walking past him, "As the daughter of the Medical Chief, I'm going to declare you unfit for work."

Bellamy's jaw clenched but he knew better than to argue with Clarke once she set her mind to something. Yeah, maybe it was a little humiliating for a girl five years his junior to be declaring such things, but she would do the same if she saw anyone in the state Bellamy was in. She didn't understand why he couldn't just call in a sick day. She was surprised her mother didn't write him a note that he was required to stay home, too. Then again, last night everyone had been thinking other things and she figured it was just a simple slip of thought.

As it turned out, Clarke didn't even have to argue her case. As soon as David Miller saw him enter, his eyes widened.

"Blake, what do you think you're doing here?"

"Reporting for my shift, sir?" Bellamy frowned, looking unsure.

"You got stitched back up yesterday and do you know how much blood we had to give you? You should be lying down. And did you get more than an hour of sleep last night? You look like a breeze could push you over." He said, staring at Bellamy incredulously, "I didn't think we needed to say that you are exempt from work specifically. Abby recommended at least a week."

"A week?" Bellamy balked, "But sir, I know I'm fine-,"

"Go home, Bellamy." David sounded fatherly now, "Please, take care of him, Clarke." He said.

She straightened her back. "I intend to."

Bellamy grumbled, but didn't fight his time off work. Outside, he shuffled his feet.

"What now?"

"You should go home and sleep. Or come back to my place and sleep. I'm going to go find Simon." She said decisively.

"Simon…" Bellamy's brows furrowed, "I should come too. He wasn't looking too hot last night."

"You don't look too hot either." Clarke said, only half-teasing.

"I…I think I got through to him, a little." Bellamy said, "Let me come." There was hardness to his voice, a piece of that mystery that Clarke so desperately wanted to know that against better judgment, she nodded.

"Okay, he lives in Power Station?"

"Did. He lives in a bunking house at Arrow with like four other guys. It's this way."

Bellamy navigated them through the zigzag of the Ark, and Clarke was indeed glad he was with them. She would have gone back to the house that, as she recalled after a belated moment, Bellamy was clearing yesterday when he got stabbed. Of course he wouldn't be there.

When Bellamy knocked on the door, a tall lanky kid around Simon's age answered. The medium sized room looked exactly like Clarke expected a place where five young adult men lived… chaotic.

"We're looking for Simon."

"Ah, him." The guy seemed uncomfortable at his name, "He's not here."

"Well…where is he?"

"Look, I don't really care." He said, "We have a criminal living with us now…" He muttered under his breath.

"That's not fair!" Bellamy suddenly flared up, "He was dropped of all charges. You can't expect him to have given up-,"

"Look, save your nasty judgment." Clarke stepped in before Bellamy punched the guy. She wasn't in the mood for breaking up a second fight today. She stepped through the door, to the surprise of both Bellamy and the guy that opened the door. She looked at the three remaining guys, who were staring at her with wide eyes.

"Does anyone know where he is?" She said, and from her tone it was clear she wasn't asking nicely.

There was a long silence before one of the guys said, "Well, he said something about working on a project he was assigned, near Geo/Sci."

"You're so helpful." Clarke rolled her eyes, pulling Bellamy away and hearing the door lock behind her.

Halfway there, they ran into Uma Lambie. Bellamy and Clarke shared nervous looks, and tried to backtrack but Uma had already seen them.

Uma was a perfectly nice person, but she had the tendency to cling to people. She abhorred being alone, so she often attached herself to whoever was available; even if it was obvious she was overstaying her welcome. Clarke always wondered if there were darker demons she was facing that made her so adamant about never being left to her own devices, so she was always nice when Uma tagged along. On a mission like this, however, they both understood that it was a delicate matter that not too many people should be privy to.

"Bellamy, Clarke!" She waved to them. She seemed more twitchy than usual.

"Hi, Uma. We're sort of on a mission right now…so as much as I'd love to invite you…" Clarke spoke softly, trying to turn her away as gently as possible. Uma's eyes widened.

"I'm on a mission too. I'm looking for Simon…you were the last one to see him last night, weren't you Bellamy?" She said.

"We're…we're looking for him too." Bellamy said, frowning at her, "I'm sorry, but why are you looking for him?"

"We were friends…once a long time ago…our mothers must have known each other in a different life or something, but we were playmates in our childhood…it's been years since we talked, and I guess I know why now. I saw his face yesterday. I'm worried about him."

"That's kind of you, Uma." Clarke was surprised, but Uma's concern made her even more anxious to find him. Uma wasn't dumb, but she wasn't smart either. To notice something about someone else meant he might be really badly off.

"Well, I guess you can come with us then." Bellamy spoke first, and she looked relieved.

"Maybe you'll be farther along than I am. I already went back to his parent's old place, and also tried to look at the places we used to hide as children on the ark. He's not at either." She said, biting her lip.

"We heard from one of his roomies that he was working on a project near Geo/Sci." Clarke said. Uma gave a quiet laugh.

"That sounds like him. He always throws himself into work when he's upset, or he did…" She stuck her hands in her pocket, "I guess it's nice to know he didn't change too much, yeah?"

"What happened between you two, if you were best friends?" Bellamy asked.

"I wish I knew?" Uma shrugged, "Maybe it was our age difference, maybe it was because our mothers stopped our forced play dates…maybe he grew tired of a child following him around everywhere. Maybe he…" She seemed about to say more, but zipped her lips after a moment of re-thought.

"We kissed once," She said finally, "I thought there was something there. Guess he didn't?" She gave a laugh, but Clarke could see she was anywhere from wanting to laugh about it.

They reached the Geo/Sci area of the Ark, and found a guy working on some wiring near a door that was apparently jamming.

"Hey, you work with Simon, right?" Clarke tapped his shoulder.

"What's it to you?"

"We're looking for him." Uma stepped up, her face hard and resolved, "Someone said he might be around here."

The guy shrugged.

"I haven't seen him. And I wish he were already here, maybe he could fix all these problems that suddenly cropped up. Lots of doors that shouldn't be opening, now open." He grumbled.

Clarke turned, and Bellamy's eyes were looking at the wires the man held.

"Those look expertly cut."

"I guess." The guy shrugged, "Work for me either way." Bellamy pulled Clarke and Uma just out of earshot of the man.

"What is it?" Clarke asked.

"These doors…Clarke, you do realize where this passage way eventually leads to, right?" His face was pale.

"No?"

"It's nowhere good." He said, grabbing Clarke's arm, who grabbed Uma's arm and pushed through the crack of the door.

"Hey! You can't go in there!" The guy said, putting a hand on Clarke's shoulder.

"I'm Clarke Griffin, I live on Alpha Station and I'm best friends with Chancellor Jaha's family. Tell me again where I can't go?" She said, narrowing her eyes. The guy backed off at once.

"Way to go, Clarke!" Uma cheered her.

"I hate using the rank card." She said, blowing out a long breath, "Where does this lead us, Bellamy?"

"A place you hope you never have to be." He said, and Clarke began to recognize the pathways. It was a memory from when she was younger.

"Care to fill me in?" Uma said, stumbling behind them.

"It's where they float people." Bellamy's voice was hard, "I don't think it's an accident at all those cables were cut."

"You don't think-," Uma stopped walking, eyes wide.

"We do." Clarke finished with a grim frown.

They all hurried a little quicker.

As expected, they found two more doors with the same wires cut with expert precision. By they time they reached the area Clarke had watched Murphy's father die, Simon had rigged the area so he'd be able to press a button on the inside and go quietly.

"Simon!" Uma threw herself against the door, pressing the open button, but it wouldn't budge. Simon jumped, turning around, eyes wide.

"What are you doing here?"

"Saving you, clearly."

His eyes darkened, "I don't want to be saved."

"Simon, this isn't the way to go." Clarke stepped forward, wringing her hands.

"Isn't it? I have nothing, haven't you heard! I woke up today to tell my mom about this dream I had, and I realized she's never coming back. My dad wasn't making pancakes just in case I stopped by to say hello. Charlotte is locked away from everyone in solitary, and it would be a fucking miracle if she ever made it out alive. I was told I might never get to see her again. I don't have anything left." He said, his whole body just breaking down in front of them.

"What about your friends?" Uma pressed her hands against the glass.

"What friends?" He gave an angry scoff, "None of them will talk to me. Not now, not that I'm basically a criminal."

"What about me?" Her voice broke, and Clarke watched her eyes well with tears. This made Simon pause, "I know we haven't talked in eons, and I know I fucked it all up by kissing you all those years ago, but Simon…I still love you. I can love you as a friend, I'm perfectly fine like that, but please…don't leave me alone here. I need you, please. I've always needed you just…alive. That was enough to keep me happy."

"Uma…" Simon's voice came out strained, "You don't understand…"

"I think you're so brave, you know? For not ever telling anyone. For standing alone because it was what was best for you. I can't spend two seconds alone, but you were always willing to be without a playmate, without a confidant, without anyone because you always have had someone."

"I'm not brave." He said, sinking down to her level, meeting her eyes, "And you didn't mess up what we had. I did. That's always been on me. I was afraid to let you in, because Charlotte might have been found out. I liked you too much to not tell you. I thought it would be easier to keep you an arm's length away." He said.

"Simon, please, then. It's all out in the open. You're not alone, you never will be, and I'll make sure of that." She gave a throaty laugh, "Don't do this."

"I'm sorry." He whispered, and leaned down, to pick up the button, but when he pressed it, nothing happened. Instead, the doors to the safety of the Ark opened in front of them. Clarke spun around to see Bellamy, who hadn't spoken at all during this, had somehow managed to reroute the wires.

"Let me go, please." He said, turning to Bellamy.

"I can't let you do that." Bellamy said, looking shaky.

"Give it a chance. A month…let me give you a month to prove it's worth it." Uma said, grabbing his cheeks, "Please."

After the longest wait of Clarke's life, she saw him nod.

"I'll get Benny to come fix this all up. He's discreet when it matters." He assured Clarke.

"I didn't know you knew how to do that?" She said, motioning to the pile of wires.

"I've picked up a couple odd skills here and there." He said, giving the tiniest of smiles, which was fair under such heavy circumstances.

"Do you think Simon will really be alright?" Clarke asked tentatively, "Maybe I should tell my mom…she'd be able to help him, maybe…"

"He has to be." Bellamy sounded already made up, "There's nothing else to it. I'll make sure he is."

"Good." Clarke turned, looking at him, "I don't want to lose anyone."

At first, it was difficult for Bellamy to think of how to make Simon better. Uma tried her best, but that plagued look of loss stayed with him. He, once against his better judgment, had Murphy sit with him to talk about his father's death. It wasn't the worst thing, and it made things a smidgen better.

It wasn't until two weeks later Bellamy truly felt as though he was making an impact. He'd asked a week after Simon's incident to be switched to the Sky Box. Since he was still a cadet- waiting for a teacher to die or retire so he could take over, even though he was far past his years of needing to remain a cadet- and practically no one offered to work at the Sky Box, no one really questioned it.

Charlotte's cell was easy to find. She was currently the only one in solitary. He waited until he was alone and the cameras were spinning the other way and slipped her the stuffed rabbit with some paper and a pen, tacked to a note: Write a letter to your brother Simon, he needs it badly.

Three days later, when he passed her cell again to give her food, two pieces of paper carefully folded were under her bowl.

"What's this?" Simon questioned, looking at the paper dumbly.

"You know exactly what it is." Bellamy said, sitting beside him, "Go on, read it."

Simon looked at him with a frown, but started reading. Bellamy never looked at what she wrote, or what he would write back, but this singular note brought Simon to tears.

"You gotta stay alive now, she's expecting an answer back, I'd assume." Bellamy said with a small, hopeful smile.

"You bastard." Simon said, but he was laughing a little.

Bellamy gave a shrug, smirking.

And that was part of what perhaps kept Simon alive. Bellamy would carry out their correspondence as long as he was a guard, and once he wasn't anymore and began teaching years later, he entrusted Harper to continue.

The other thing was something Bellamy hadn't known he was doing until it was happening. It wasn't a conscious thought, nor was it a plan well though through. It was just a feeling that about three weeks later, Bellamy felt as though he should.

He invited Simon to his place. He unlocked the door, and Octavia watched with wide, scared eyes as Simon saw her.

There was a terrible moment when Bellamy wondered if he'd made a huge mistake. If Simon would be jealous that he still had his illegal sister and be petty, tell on them. If this was not making things better like his instincts had told him, but worse. He was known to be wrong on some occasions.

"This is Octavia," He introduced slowly, trying to gauge Simon's next move, "My sister."

There was a moment of stunned silence, before Octavia cocked her head.

"You're Simon, I'm guessing. I can't imagine why Bellamy would show anyone else." She gave Bellamy a sharp glare.

"Another one…" Simon mumbled numbly, turning toward Bellamy, and Bellamy knew that this kid would never look him at the same again.

"Care to sit? You look a little faint." Octavia frowned.

"How…how have you survived?" Simon finally managed to ask, "You're years older than Char!"

"Hole in floor?" Octavia tapped aside her hiding place, "Bell being in the guard helps too. Bell, what were you thinking, no offence Simon." She asked angrily, but he could tell she was scared.

"I should be rightly mad." Simon said, "That you still have her, a mum…and I have nothing more than letters every few weeks from my sister. I should want to tell on you…but I don't? Seeing you, it makes it better. I guess you do understand my problems." He said to Bellamy.

"But you couldn't have known." Bellamy said, sitting on one of the metal chairs.

"What made you decide to do this?" Simon finally asked, "Show…me?"

"I don't even know. I just…it was spur of the moment. I'm not usually nearly as reckless, but I more than anyone understand that losing her could happen at any time. And that it would be awful. But Simon, the way you…" Bellamy couldn't even finish, "That's not the solution."

"I don't really think it is anymore." Simon admitted, "I regret it. I was not in my right mind. I was angry no one was there to make sure I wasn't going to do something stupid. I think, secretly, I wanted someone to come along."

There was a moment of silent reflection.

"Thank god, you know? Ugg, it was getting so boring only taking to mom and Bellamy. All mom ever talks about is me being 'smart' or 'responsible' and all Bellamy ever talks about is Clarke." Octavia complained.

"I talk about Gina too!" Bellamy objected, not wanting Simon to think he was unfaithful to his girlfriend. Octavia waved a hand.

"I zone out when you say her name. But now I have a new person to talk to. I expect you to be over here pretty often!" She said, poking Simon, "You hear?"

"Uh, o…kay?" Simon looked a little afraid of the headstrong girl, terrified to say no and incite her wrath.

Octavia's determined face morphed into a cherubic smile.

"Perfect." She gave a little giggle, Simon raised an eyebrow, and Bellamy groaned into his hand. Secretly, though, he was pretty relieved to be able to have someone hang at his house without having to make a harebrained excuse.

And that is how Bellamy told the first person about Octavia, although not to be the last, and both Blake siblings made a new friend. True to his word, and possible so not as to set an angry Octavia upon himself, Simon came over at least once a week. In hindsight, Bellamy would think, it's odd to think of how the truest of friends are made, but he supposed that's the way the world was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's the first person to find out about Octavia (but not the last of course). Tell me what you thought of the finishing of the last chapter? Review for a faster update of the next chapter...we start intersecting with actual events that happened in the show...will they go the same or differently? I guess you'll just have to see ;)


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello wonderful people :) Here's an update for a chapter ALOT of you have been curious/asking about, in more ways than one! This is the chapter where the story intersects the events of the show in truth. I hope you enjoy it!

_11 Years after Start of Program_  
"Bye Simon! See you later!" Octavia said, waving goodbye as Bellamy shoved his friend from the room and locked the door.

"Ugg…" Bellamy rolled his eyes, "I don't know how you put up with her sometimes." He grunted.

"Well, she's just bored and cooped up. I guess if I had to spend every moment at home with her like you, I'd go crazy too." He pointed out, giving a little smile, "I do feel bad for her though. I guess I always feared what we'd do with Charlotte if she ever got to around this age…"

Bellamy gave a nod. Telling Simon about his sister was the best choice he'd ever made, even if he thought it was for slightly selfish reasons. Now, there was someone he could drag home when he really needed a break to keep his sister occupied. And it wasn't a secret his sister had a slight crush on Simon, although that might be because it was the only guy she'd ever met that wasn't related to her.

If Simon even had a smidgen of attraction to his sister, Bellamy couldn't tell. Him and Uma were happily 'together' (although, they didn't use words like 'dating' or such) and this was for the best anyway. If Simon and Octavia did get together and then had an awful break up, Bellamy would once again be the only person for her to talk to. A good, non-threatening friend to bring around was exactly how this needed to stay.

He wondered if Simon even noticed the way Octavia batted her eyes and giggled around him. He was terrified to even ask because maybe Simon didn't see her that way at all and it would make things awkward.

Simon's pager beeped on his side. He looked at it, and groaned.

"It's your friend Benny." He said, putting it back, "Give that kid an inch, and he'll make a bright, sparkling, gaudy mile."

"You're referring to the Unity Masquerade, then?"

Benny had recently been given his first break; to organize the electronic aspects of the teen's Unity Day dance this year. Simon was assigned as one of his workers, and this was the fifth time Bellamy had been around his friend when he'd be summoned yet again to go execute some wild idea.

"Hey, you can't hate his enthusiasm." Bellamy shrugged.

"Sure I can, especially when he expects you to make a gigantic light-up gazebo."

"Well…don't you have places to be?" Bellamy asked when his friend just shut off his beeper casually.

"Oh, I'll go in a bit." Simon said, "Let some other lackie answer his call. By the way, do you know if you'll be supervising it?"

"It's three days away. Of course I know." Bellamy scoffed, "What kind of deal do you thinks us guards run? That we're always disorganized?"

"Well-,"

"Shut up. But yeah, I am." Bellamy couldn't let his grin slip out.

"Geeze, most people I've talked to are moaning the fact they have to watch a bunch of horny teenagers with masks practically make out in the dark." Simon said.

Bellamy glanced around furtively, then pushed Simon into a crevice.

"I asked." He said, which made Simon's eyebrows rise in surprise, "I think I'm going to try to take Octavia."

"What?" Simon all but yelled. Bellamy slapped his hand over his mouth, glaring.

"Be quiet, okay? I don't want anyone to hear." He lectured.

"You're crazy! What in the world are you fucking thinking?" Simon hissed in a low whisper.

"It's a masquerade dance. No one will know. I'll take Octavia home; pretend she's sick, before midnight happens. She's dying in there, man. I don't know if she'll ever get this chance again."

Simon was shaking his head.

"No, no, no. Too risky. You could lose it all. I can't believe you'd be so reckless." Simon threw Bellamy away from him, stalking away.

"She'll have a mask. Clarke's making an extra. She doesn't know it's for my sister, but you said it yourself…she's going to go postal if she sits around any longer, hearing about our wonderful days over and over. She's never even seen what Earth looks like."

Simon turned back, his face sour.

"I just think it's really dangerous." He said in a level tone, "And I can't…I can't back you on this. It's a little too close to home."

"I know." Bellamy said softly, "I guess I got so excited I didn't realize how you'd think of it. But if you could have had the chance, wouldn't you have?"

"Before all this? I guess so. I think I just know better now." Simon said. He sighed, looking at his pager, "I better get going. I sure hope you know what you're doing."

"Of course. This plan is foolproof. I'll be there to protect her, always."

Bellamy began heading toward Clarke's house, eager to check the progress of the mask for his sister. He'd asked her under the guise of just having an extra on hand, because who knew what he might need on duty?

He almost ran into Leslie Hettrick, who was carrying a bag of food and about a thousand sheets of paper and a couple textbooks.

"Hey, you okay?" He asked, picking up the books. She'd ended up taking the teaching job he'd been so torn between, albeit a year later. Leslie was an excellent teacher and he was glad it went to someone he knew. Usually, she was cool as a cucumber with her students, but today she looked about ready to stab someone.

"Fine." She snapped, and then shook her head, "Well, not really."

"Yeah. I can tell." Bellamy chuckled, and the look she sent shut him up.

"I'm just ready for Unity Day to come and go. Students are so antsy around it; it's impossible to teach them anything! And two of my students got into a fistfight over the semantics of World War Two of all the stupid things, and one got a bloody nose all over the room. I have to go to a teacher briefing about it now and explain what the hell happened, during my lunch hour, but I promised I'd bring Hendrick his lunch but I don't even think I'll make it there in time." She pushed her bangs from her face, giving a huff.

"I'm on my break right now. If he's working right now, I can drop this off." He said, picking up the bag lunch.

"Really?" Leslie sounded so relieved, "Oh, thank you so much. I'd so much rather be eating lunch with him than dealing with this, but…" She let out a long sigh.

"Yeah, I understand." Bellamy said, grimacing, "Have…fun?" He offered up half jokingly, and Leslie just grumbled in response.

Since Hendrick was a meteorologist working at the Geo/Sci station, it was just a hop over from the Alpha station where Clarke was. He enjoyed Hendrick's company, so it wasn't too big of an imposition for him to do this favor. Even if he'd hated the guy, Leslie seemed so frazzled he couldn't help feeling sorry for her and would have offered even then.

"Knock, knock?" He asked when he reached the monitoring station. Hendrick was sitting with another guy, and they both looked up.

"Blake? What are you doing here?" Hendrick asked, taking his large headphones off.

"Leslie couldn't come with food today. Something about parents, Hitler, and broken noses…you know, just another average day of teaching. I offered to bring this over." He said, raising the bag.

"Oh, thank god. I've been starving. Can I go on my lunch break, Dan?"

"Have at it. Half an hour."

He led Bellamy over to a little room with a ratty couch and a table. Bellamy had his own lunch, and had been planning at eating at Clarke's, but he still had a long break left anyway.

"How have you been?" Bellamy questioned, seeing as though he didn't cross paths with Hendrick a lot.

"It's been good, man. My job's a lot better than just getting coffee now." He laughed.

"Really? Staring at a screen all day, listening to static?" Bellamy shook his head, "Sounds boring as hell."

"Naw, it's cool. Once you know how to read things…it just opens up so much about the world." Hendrick assured, totally serious. Bellamy gave a shrug. They needed people for every job, he guessed, so it was a good think Hendrick wanted this job, "What about you? You've been promoted, right?"

"Not yet." Bellamy said, "Although, not for lack of skill. I'm just waiting to take over for one of the teachers, but they sort of have to keep me at Cadet status until that happens. Miller's dad keeps assuring me it will be within a year or two."

"So you're still working shit jobs?"

"Well, yeah and no. I mean, being the oldest cadet right now gives me a lot of perks. I think Shumway feels bad for me… it's pretty much unheard of him having feelings, but he lets me pick where and when I want to work. I won't have that sort of freedom when I take over a teaching position. But you're right, nothing's all too glamorous." He winced, "You going to be celebrating Unity Day at the party?"

"The masquerade? In case you've forgotten, we're twenty…exactly one year above being a 'teen' and therefore unable to join." Hendrick rose an eyebrow "I thought guards had to be okay at math."

"I know that. I'm talking about the party Stasia is throwing after that all goes down. I'm working the Masquerade anyway, so even if I were of age, I couldn't participate."

"Stasia…hmm?" Hendrick clearly hadn't heard, "I hear her place is pretty dope. Probably not as nice as Clarke's or Wells', but she's still in Alpha." His face fell, "Sadly, I'm tied to the chair all night."

"What? That blows." Bellamy scoffed, "You don't even get a night off?"

"We do…except for me. I'm the youngest recruit, you know?"

"And you can't just leave the box for like a night? We haven't had an incident in years!"

"Exactly." Hendrick now looked a little unsure, nervous, "In previous years, we might have been fine to do that, but now?" He sighed, "We've been getting a lot of funky readings from the sun. We predict some pretty nasty solar flares coming in the next three days. My boss wants to cancel the Unity Day celebrations, but the Chancellor doesn't think it's an issue. I get it, they're not extremely dangerous usually, just bothersome in most cases- not like a meteor or something, and there's only a 40% chance it would happen during the parties or general reading, but I dunno."

"Solar flares…during the party." Bellamy repeated, his mouth going dry.

"I'm not sure what I believe. It'd be cool to see one come up on the radar, but I get why my boss is so concerned. It will just be bedlam to sort it out if it happens during the party. A big one could shut off the lights and talkies and such. I think it's bound to happen, really."

"You're sure." Bellamy repeated, his voice going firm and louder. Hendrick gave him a weird look, "I'm working the party. I just want to know what I should be prepared for." He covered.

"Well, I'd be expecting it to be cut short. I don't know when, but probabilities and all. Shitty coincidence it has to happen on the one party day of the year, huh?"

"Yeah, totally." Bellamy said softly, swallowing the urge to cry a little. He'd never felt so deflated in his life. As soon as Hendrick said solar flares, he just knew he couldn't bring his sister.

He'd been looking forward to it almost as much as she would have if she'd known.

The rest of Hendrick's lunch break, he stuck around and they talked about other things, but Bellamy was always a little preoccupied…but he was glad he hadn't told Octavia yet. The worst thing would have been going back to her and saying that she couldn't.

He eventually bid Hendrick goodbye, and found himself wandering the ark. He was too upset to see Clarke; she'd want to know what was up, and like always, he wouldn't be able to tell her. This secret between them was growing increasingly frustrating to him. Although Clarke had no idea what he was holding back, it wasn't just a thing anymore that he could brush aside. This was the biggest part of his life, and every time he had to tell her something besides the truth, it felt like he was stabbing his heart.

He found himself wandering to where the party would be held. It looked incredible. He wished Octavia had been able to see it.

"Bellamy!" Simon looked confused; climbing down from a ridiculous looking wooden structure he was staple-gunning light to, "You look like your dog just died."

"Solar flares." Was all Bellamy could muster. Simon cocked his head, "Solar flares…during Unity Day. Hendrick just told me. You know what happens when solar flares happen."

"Ah, ID chips shown and faces clear. Masks would have to come off, Octavia obviously isn't registered." Simon looked genuinely upset that Bellamy's plans had fallen apart, "Hendrick's sure?"

"40%. I might have said 'fuck it' before, but I would hate myself If I didn't take this as an incredible warning…I couldn't…I can't risk that." Bellamy ground his teeth.

"Maybe it's not the worst thing in the world. Could you imagine what would have happened if you didn't know and still tried to take her?"

"Yeah, I know. I'd end up…" Bellamy couldn't even finish. Simon did though, scowling.

"Like me."

"Yeah."

There was silence.

"I'm going to get going. Get back to…whatever this is." Bellamy waved his hand at the contraption that pretty much looked like it might murder someone instead of give them a pretty backdrop for a dance.

"Bellamy…are you going to be okay?" Simon asked, stopping him for a moment. Bellamy's jaw moved, but he couldn't speak. He wasn't actually sure. It wasn't often someone asked him…he usually felt as though he was the one asking. He didn't mind taking care of everyone else, but to be treated with the same respect?

"Of course." He finally said, although he wasn't sure if he would or not, "See you later."

Clarke tapped her foot impatiently. She looked at her tattered history textbook, and realized she'd read the same sentence about five times already. Finally, she just pushed it away. She was still a whole year away from finishing school and starting her job, which she already knew would be as doctor, and doing things like memorizing dates seemed utterly pointless. She was more schooled than most of the kids that came in, fresh and new. Yes, soon they'd be doing rounds, which Clarke also found equally as pointless. She just sort of wanted to get on with her life.

She glanced up and saw the extra mask for Bellamy sitting a little ways away from her. She'd finished it this morning. It made a weird feeling lodge in her stomach, one she didn't want to think about. She focused harder on her History.

Bellamy knocked on the door, and Clarke was almost too gleeful to answer it, and not just so she could shove the textbook in her book bag as an excuse.

"You're late, mister." She teased, "I thought you said you'd be over like two hours ago."

"Shit came up." Bellamy said, sighing. Clarke's playful mood vanished.

"Anything bad?" Yet, from his tone, she knew it was.

"Nothing I couldn't deal with." He assured. He smiled brightly at her, and she felt her face go hot.

"Oh! I finished this." She said, grabbing the mask, eager to switch the conversations. His expression darkened for a moment, then vanished as he admired her handiwork.

"It's beautiful." He seemed a little choked up.

"It's plain, really." She shrugged, "A backup, right?"

"Yeah." He nodded faintly, "So yours is even more extravagant?" He asked, curious.

"You'll just have to wait to see." She winked, and he gave her a lopsided grin that made her whole body flame up.

"I look forward to it."

Instantly, the dreams she'd been having lately of Bellamy pretty much unclothed and doing things with her entered her mind without warning. If it were only one singular dream, because she'd pretty much had an accidental sex dream was almost everyone in the group, it would be one thing. The fact that they were recurring was what concerned her.

"So." She said, trying to not think of his tanned chest she'd seen during sleep and wondering if that's how it looked in real life, "Before Unity Day my parents are having a picnic lunch thing. They want you to come, and you should bring Gina." She went to her glass of water, hoping it would calm her down.

"Oh." His brows furrowed, "Gina and I broke up?"

"What?" She tried to say, but because she was drinking water, it came out as more of her coughing it up ungracefully. Bellamy moved to help her, but she threw an arm out.

"I'm fine," She croaked, "You and Gina broke up? When? Why am I just hearing about this now?" She demanded. This revelation brought on a whole slew of emotions to her.

"Just yesterday. That's what I was coming over to tell you. It was really a mutual thing. We're still friends, we just realized it wasn't going to end in anything more than casual. We always knew that." Bellamy didn't seem half as upset as Clarke was.

She was upset; she'd really liked Gina. She thought she was pretty awesome and if someone had to take her best friend and treat him right, she trusted her.

She was more upset that they weren't dating now and what that was going to do with the dreams and such. And, if she were being honest, it wasn't just dreams…it was conscious thoughts about him, like all the time. Wondering about what he was doing in a more than just friendly way. Wondering if he thought she was pretty. She was scared of how much she was falling for him, and up until this very moment, Gina had been the safety buffer. She wasn't a home wrecker, which meant she wasn't going to flirt with a taken guy. And also, because she wasn't given that option, she could shove her confusing feelings under the rug.

She couldn't really do that now. He was free. And this meant she had to confront how she felt about him. She knew with her personality she wasn't going to be able to stop herself from flirting if she tried. It just wasn't in her DNA to let crushes go by unannounced.

And she was suddenly extremely aware of the fact they were alone.

Okay, so you like him. He's your best friend; at least you know what he's like. Maybe you should say something? Something sexy? Something cute? Fuuuck…

"Clarke?" Bellamy waved a hand in front of her, "You're staring off with a scowl."

"It's nothing." She pushed the little voice back. This was going fast for her. She needed to consider all the options about this. Saying something could ruin their relationship, like it had in the beginning with Uma and Simon. Sure, they were great now, but she wasn't going to put her feelings on the line if it killed what they had right now. She couldn't risk that.

She was almost desperate enough to make up an excuse to make him leave, when he saw the time and groaned.

"Duty calls." He sighed, looking sad, "I'll see you later okay? Maybe not until the Unity Day dance. I'll be monitoring it."

"Great." She said, forcing a smile. Of course he'd be there. But, that was three days from now, which gave her ample time to think.

The next day, she happened to run into Gina near the Factory Station. She had been in the area because Grennon had asked her to come take a look at his mother's cough. She knew Health Care in the lower sections were especially lacking, so when someone asked, she could hardly refuse. She did take a big effort to not go near where Bellamy lived.

"You and Bellamy broke up." She blurted, unsure of what else to say.

"Yeah." She said, no hint of anger or sadness, just agreement of a fact.

"Why?"

It's not like she didn't trust Bellamy's side of the story, but she was morbidly curious.

"It was always just casual. I'm not looking for a husband; he wasn't looking for a wife when we met. We just knew it was time to move on and such. He's a great guy, obviously, but I think he might be looking for something serious. I'm not even close to being ready, and even if I were, I don't think I'm meant to be with him. We both just agreed to have fun while we were together, you know? I'm glad we were on the same page. I want to remain close to him."

"He said sort of the same thing, but not admitting he wants to settle soon." The information rolled around in Clarke's head.

"It was more of something I read between the lines. I don't know if he's realized it yet." Gina chuckled.

"I'm upset you two broke up." Clarke said, "I think you were really great for him, at the time."

"He was good for me." Gina agreed, "And he'll be good for someone else."

Unity Day rolled around and Clarke still hadn't really made a choice either way of what to do about her very real feelings for Bellamy. But in a way, choosing nothing was choosing something.

She skipped the Unity Day speech, opting to spend the time before the dance with her friends, and then they'd all be going to Stasia's after.

She was excited to see the masks they'd come up with. Miller had a hand-me down mask all the way from the far off and very much ancient society of Venice, Italy. Monty's was sort of just a glorified piece of cardboard. Raven's was impressive; she said someone had been repairing a pillow and she'd snatched all the extra feathers and made something like a bird mask. Monroe and Harper had bargained and borrowed for one from the last Masquerade. Murphy's was made of fabric. Wells had the second most official looking one, and she was pretty sure it had been made especially for him, and Bree (since she was still dating him) had something similar in beauty and taste.

Then there was Jasper.

"Where's your mask?" She questioned, frowning.

He snapped his goggles onto his face, pointing at them, "Here!"

"That's not a mask!" Clarke said, "And it's terribly obvious whose underneath it. Isn't the point of a masquerade to be all secret?" She pointed out with frustration.

"Like people really can't tell whose underneath masks." Jasper gave a 'pfft' sound, "Want some?" He held up a roll of weed. He passed it to Monty, who passed it to Murphy.

Wells looked frowned.  
"If you get caught with that, you're totally screwed. I doubt any of you have your medical card to be allowed to have that." He lectured.

"Oh, give it a rest." Murphy rolled his eyes, "What happens between friends, stays between friends, eh?" He asked with a slightly sharp question.

"I'm not a snitch, if that's what you're asking." Wells stiffened, "I'm just warning you that this is dangerous to be fooling around with."

"Lighten up! I think you, of everyone, for sure need this." Jasper dangled it in front of his face.

He handed it off to Clarke. Wells gave her a wide-eyed look.

"Even you?"

"Uh huh." She said. In truth, she was terribly anxious. So anxious she felt like she might puke or pass out. Bellamy would be there and he would be single. She wanted to kind of jump him and shove him against a wall but also avoid him the entire night. She hoped that this made her calm down a bit more.

"Look, we only have this one roll, and if everyone takes a huff, it's hardly enough for anyone to feel anything. Quit your worrying." Jasper pointed out.

"You don't have any more?" Murphy grumbled.

"No, the season wasn't too great. In fact-shit! Monty, did we remember to replace it?" He asked, jumping to his feet.

"Damn it." Monty face-palmed, "Here." He got up, handing the roll off to Raven, "We gotta take care of something before the dance. See you all then!"

"Don't get caught! Be safe. Arg." Wells called after them, his whole body tensed, "Fine, maybe hand that over."

Outside his room, Bellamy paced. He stared at the mask Clarke had made him, feeling as though it was the physical representation of everything Octavia wouldn't get to do. He'd even gone as far as to see if perhaps things had changed with the solar flare situation, but when he'd came to the monitoring station, everyone had been glued to their screens, muttering something about the 'sun' and that pretty much confirmed it.

He finally checked his watch, seeing that he was due at the masquerade in ten minutes, and opened the door. Octavia hardly glanced up from what she was mending.

"Hey, O." His voice was sullen. She glanced up, hearing his tone.

"What is it?" She questioned, "A surprise room check? I wouldn't be surprised they'd pull this shit on Unity Day. I get under the floor." She said with a sigh, standing.

"No, it's fine." He stopped, her sitting and bringing out the mask.

"What's that?" She stared at it.

"It was meant to be for you." He began, feeling as though he had to tell her. She titled her head in question.

"The ball is a masquerade this year. I thought just maybe it would be a way to get out you out of there…I'd be there, Simon would be there…I thought I could have you see the Ark, be a teen for once…" He slid the mask to her, "But there's going to be solar flares tonight. I'm one of the only ones that know, so I can't take you. You'll be safe under the floors like always, but…" He bit his lip to keep from crying in front of his sister.

"Oh, Bell." She delicately touched it, "It's so pretty." She put it on, "How do I look?"

"Mysterious." He decided, but his voice was dry and hard, because he just wanted to take her out of here…and he couldn't.

"I'm glad you told me." Octavia said, taking it off, "And if there's a chance now, they'll be another one…one day." She seemed more confident than she let on. They both knew that there probably wouldn't be.

"It would have been wonderful…" She gave a sad smile, her fingers tapping on the metal table, "But we can't risk it. As much as I want to go out there, I get it. I know what happened to Simon and his family." She said, looking away.

"Exactly." Bellamy agreed. His watch beeped.

"Do you have to go to work now?" She asked. He nodded.

"I'll be fine here, I always am. And even though I can't go out, I have this now…and I can imagine it in my head. Not nearly as much fun, but it will have to do, right?" She said.

"God, O. You're such a trooper." He shook his head, giving the smallest of smiles.

"Hey," She punched his arm in a sisterly manner, "One of us has to be."

By the time Clarke arrived, they party had already started. Her and Wells were waiting anxiously by the entrance for Monty and Jasper.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid…" He was muttering. He was just as worried about them as she was.

"What are you two doing out here?" Murphy stumbled out, frowning, his eyes adjusting from the sudden change from light to dark.

"Waiting for Jasper and Monty." Clarke answered. She was also sort of avoiding Bellamy…she was sure he was in there.

"Ah, worried about them. Guess it would be a shame for them to get busted. I've come to expect their produce. Don't know where else I'd get it." He said, sliding up on the wall next to them. Wells gave him a dark glare.

Luckily, it wasn't a long wait until the pair came loping down the hall. Wells gave a very audible and relieved sigh.

"Did you take care of it?" Clarke asked.

"Yeah, all sorted out." Monty assured.

"What was it?" Wells asked, and then shook his head, "Never mind. I don't want to know. Plausible deniablity." He said, shaking his head, "I'm just glad it was figured out. Please, don't give me heart attacks like this again."

"Sorry dad." Jasper rolled his eyes, and Wells went into the party.

"I, for one, am curious." Murphy said, "What were you two off doing?"

"Well…" Jasper looked around, and saw no one; "We have our own stash, growing in the walls." He dropped his voice to an extremely low whisper, "But you know, this year growing in bulk was so shitty ours obviously didn't fair much better. So we took some from the original group, just to get ours going, you know? But they do the plant count tonight, so we had to take one our ours and replant it where we took it from."

"I am so mad we almost forgot." Monty said, shaking his head, "Can you imagine if we hadn't?"

"Yep, the Sky Box." Jasper said and both of them shuddered in unison.

"So there'll be more?" Murphy said hopefully.

"Yeah. No one should ever know. Let's go party now, without that weight on our shoulders." He said, clapping Murphy on the back.

Clarke was relived too that they had recalled because she wasn't about to lose a friend or two, tonight or ever.

She spotted Bellamy standing by a wall and was glad the lights were dim and she had a mask on, because she instantly blushed. She pretty much stopped right in the middle of the floor, just gawking at him. It wasn't until someone bumped her shoulder that she realized what's she'd been doing…and was so glad no one was around to see.

She didn't get courage to do anything until about an hour later. Eventually, though, she couldn't keep away. And if there was one thing Clarke had rather mastered in all her small dalliances, it was how to flirt appropriately.

"Enjoying yourself?"

Bellamy jumped a foot in the air, as she'd snuck up behind him.

"Clarke?" He squinted at her. She bowed.

"The one and only."

"I don't think I'm supposed to know it's you until midnight. This might be cheating." He said, giving a wide grin.

"Then in that case, no…I'm not Clarke."

"Okay, Not Clarke." He hummed.

"You know, for a guard, you jumped pretty high there. Aren't you supposed to be on high alert at all times? I could have snuck up with a knife right now and stabbed you. And you kind of made a girly squeak." She informed him.

He gave a long roll of his eyes, "Oh, okay. Because there's so many dangerous humans here right now…" He wave his hand at everyone, "And for your information, I am very manly."

I bet you are, Her naughty side purred. Her sane side slapped her naughty side, Bad Clarke. Mind out of the gutter.

"And besides, there's a lot of guard material to get through before they'd hit my body." He added. Oh, god, there went her naughty side again. She tried to squash it down.

"Hmm? Is that so?" Her hands went to his vest. He stiffed at her unexpected touch, and she stayed there motionless for a moment, surprised at her own actions. But then he relaxed into her touch, swallowing and gave a nod.

"Yep."

He could have, at any time, pushed her off or shown he was uncomfortable. But instead he didn't, so Clarke felt a little more emboldened.

"There's that, and underneath?" A finger slid under his vest, feeling along the gap between his shirt and his pants.

"Nothing much at all then." His voice sounded very gravely, like he'd lost his voice all of a sudden. She noticed they'd slowly moved to a position where they were nearly observed by some weird gazebo thing, but most importantly out of the view of everyone else.

"And your face. How tragic…not even a helmet today. Wouldn't want to ruin that." She said, reaching up to cup his cheek.

There was a strained moment between the two of them when the world slowed down and they just didn't move. Then, ever so slowly, she lifted herself to her tiptoes to reach Bellamy's face, leaning in and-

"Solar flare alert!" The blaring automated warning sirens blasted through the area, causing them to stumble away from each other as though they'd been burned. Clarke stumbled into the main area, and Bellamy left a second later as not to be suspicious. No one was looking at them anyway. Clarke was glad she could still keep her mask on for a little bit longer, because it hid her very red cheeks. Bellamy couldn't hide his as much.

"An x-class solar flare has begun on the starboard side of the Ark…" The voice continued to talk, and it took Clarke a moment to catch up. X-Classes were especially dangerous, and she looked around, trying to catch sight of her friends. They'd be herded to the safe places soon, and she wanted them all to stay together.

The lights flickered on and she saw Shumway come in from the entrance.

"Okay everyone, masks off, ID chips off." Standard procedure for emergencies, just to make sure everyone was accounted for.

Clarke dropped her mask around her neck and rolled up her sleeve. Raven appeared on her left side, making a look of distain.

"Suppose this means that Stasia's party is a bust." She grumbled.

"You think?" Clarke said as someone came around to scan the chip in his or her arms.

They were shoved to the side when they were scanned to a line monitored closely by the guards as they were instructed to go to the nearest safety zone. They were nearest the Power Station, and entered the windowless room, already crammed with people. Cots were being set up, because these dangers could take hours or whole nights.

"Earth had floods and earthquakes, we have stupid solar flares." Monroe groaned, finding them. Their group of friends grabbed four cots between them. There was never enough room for everyone to have one, and this meant shaking up with someone for the night. Luckily, Clarke liked everyone enough here to not mind it, especially because she was going to get tired soon. An X-Class Solar Flare was sure to take nearly the whole night until they were safe.

Truthfully, she would have liked to share a cot with Bellamy, if even innocently. But as a guard, he would likely be on high alert the whole night, unable to go to sleep. It was probably for the better.

They stayed up talking until about three AM, but when there was no sign of anything being resolved soon (and Shumway told them with an apologetic tone it would likely be another six hours of immediate danger) people began to drift off to sleep on the cots.

Wells and Bree took one, Murphy and Raven on another. Clarke ended up sleeping between Jasper and Monroe because as Monty and Jasper both proclaimed 'guys didn't sleep next to each other' and so she picked the two skinniest people, and then Harper and Monty took the last cot. But that wasn't working out too well, so the new idea was for them to push the cots together like one huge bed and for Clarke to sleep at the ends of their feet, because the cots were usually quite long. This worked out much better for everyone.

"Like one big sleepover!" Jasper said, "Isn't this cute?"

"No." Murphy grumbled.

Clarke fell asleep much faster than she thought she would. It wasn't long until everyone in the safety room was snoring.

Bellamy made it to the room a little past 3 AM. It was bedlam trying to figure this out, as Hendrick had warned. They had to track down a lot of very drunk people that didn't respond to the warnings because they were too smashed out of their minds to realize what was going on. They also had to turn off or unplug any and all light or power sources that weren't in use, because it wasn't sustainable to leave it running all night. Then they had to fill out their reports and get assignments for the rest of the emergency, and Miller and Shumway were scrambling to figure out the schedule for the next few days as everyone would be totally exhausted after working all night. And on occasion, someone had to run off to take a call from someone who was concerned about this or that.

They all had to do this while avoiding the corridors with windows, which took every journey like ten minutes longer.

Bellamy was finally assigned to the Power Station room, where he knew Clarke was, and this gave him great relief. He was handed a stack of extra pillows and blankets they kept on hand, very few, but so that some people that were squished could have some relief. He knew he was supposed to be giving it out to people on the floors who didn't even get a cot, but when he saw Clarke curled up at the end of a bed without either, he didn't even hesitate slipping a pillow under her head and throwing a blanket on her.

When he finished, he sat about six yards away, keeping watch.

At around 5 AM, he was relieved of duty and told he could go back to sleep in his own room if he wanted because there were no windows in his room and it was in an inner corridor. It would be difficult to do this sort of delegating for everyone on the ark, but the guardsmen could easily keep track of their own, and it was perks like these that made him happy he was a guard.

If he were a single child, he likely would have opted to stay and watch Clarke. But he had to think of Octavia, so he nodded and left for home.

"O?" He asked, and she lifted her tile.

"Can I sleep up here? The floor is killing my back." She moaned.

"Yeah, we're in the clear-ish area now. Be glad you're not a citizen legally, or you'd be sleeping on really uncomfortable cots." He said, grinning.

"Jeeze, let me just add that to the very small list that are perks of being an illegal child." She said, rolling her eyes, "How was the rest of the night?"

He closed his eyes, Clarke flashing back to him. The way her touch on his bare skin, ever brief, ignited a fire within him that he'd never felt around Gina, or anyone else for that matter. How his whole body responded to just a tease, everything yearning to pull toward her, like gravity.

"Well…Clarke almost kissed me. Or I almost kissed her. I'm not sure who started." He admitted.

"Oh my god!" Octavia yelled, and he glared, "Sorry, I'm just so excited! Oh. My. God!"

"Yeah, I get that. But then the damn solar flare thing went off and…it didn't happen." He said. He'd been in a painful state of attraction and arousal for like an hour after it, and they hadn't even done anything. Oh, stars, this girl was going to be the death of him.

"Huh." Octavia pouted, turning off the light to sleep and yawned. She took mom's bed since they both knew she wouldn't be back that night. Bellamy curled up on his own, "Guess the solar flare fucked up both of our nights and all your plans then?" She asked with a dry laugh.

Bellamy let the memories wash over him, wishing he could have been curled up next to Clarke on a cot instead of here. He recalled her coy smile behind that beautifully made mask, her confident teasing that nearly sent him over the edge, and how her voice was once again the most attractive thing in the world to him, "You have no idea."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D That's all I'm really going to say about the events of this chapter, because I'm DYING to hear your response!
> 
> On more technical notes, though, i do have some. Obviously, this happens a year before Season 1 starts, as we saw in the flashbacks. Quite a few people's lives were altered in this version, for the better of course. I found it hard to believe that between the first flashback of Bellamy becoming a cadet and the dance that he was still a Cadet (Octavia aged at least like four years between there, probably more) and so the only feasible reason I could see (because Shumway admitted Bellamy was a great guard) is if he was waiting for a better, more special job. I just can't see how he WOULDN'T have been a guard that many years past, and mostly I think it's something the show writers fucked up a bit. I also inferred that a solar flare of 'X' magnitude seemed to be a pretty big deal, not just an average problem. A solar flare, btw, if you were unaware, is a burst of radiation basically and while the Arkers are pretty used to it, this much radiation at once is pretty dangerous- as it said, can hurt people and shut down all communications, and I figure there'd be smaller ones and bigger ones.
> 
> Finally, I am going to be participating in a totally crazy challenge over on tumblr...in which I write or post something EVERY DAY for a whole year. I'm doing an OC 30 day challenge 12 times...because I have 12 characters. These are characters for a story I began ivisionign back when I was in 5th grade, so they've very dear to me. If you're curious at all about it, want to see what I do outside of fandom, follow me there! My name is frostedgemstones22 and I will be starting September 1st!
> 
> So the picture at the start of this...I've been obsessed with creating 'moodboards' lately (is that what they're called? If I'm wrong, please correct me!) and making ones for all my fanfics. This is the one for Project Iphigenia. Hope y'all like it


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to update, y'all. This weekend before school, I went back to my hometown because it was hosting my my college football first game of the season and then went and spent some time with my little brother before he leaves for his first year of college. Then school AND my new job started so I've literally fallen asleep the moment I get home every single night, maybe staying up an extra hour for hw. Luckily tomorrow I have no school, so I can stay up a little bit later and not accidentally sleep through my classes (which I did today...sigh, dropping the ball only 3 days into the new semester...bad Lexie).
> 
>  
> 
> This chapter is the culmination of possibly the two most asked for things since this story began...so very much enjoy ;)

11 Years after Start of Program

And then, to the increasing frustration of both Simon and Octavia, neither Clarke nor Bellamy made any move. Both worried that it was a mistake on their part, and both were adamant not to say or confirm their feelings until the other had first.

And, what Octavia figured out fairly quickly, was apparently Clarke was equally as stubborn and equally an idiot as her brother.

She'd told Simon, of course. Bellamy wasn't exactly planning on telling anyone else about their near kiss, but he didn't mind Simon knowing in the beginning. That is, until he started pestering him to just 'shove her against a wall, fulfill your fantasies, and get it goddamn over with'.

Octavia was even more annoying. She asked every day if he'd stopped being 'a little pussy' and just told Clarke how he felt, and when he answered with an increasingly annoyed 'no' she began responding with aggravated hand gestures and sounds that were just strained grunts and noise without actually being anything of substance. Simon clearly understood this odd language of hers because he would roll his eyes and agree with her.

Finally, after weeks of this going on with both Bellamy and Clarke trying to remain friends and maybe act like that near kiss never happened, Bellamy lost his fuse.

"Why does it matter to you both anyway?" He demanded to Octavia and Simon, "Why is my life suddenly so worth your time? Back off, okay?"

"Look, let me have this. I have little else to interest myself while I'm trapped here, so allow me to have this pleasure." She got right up in his face, "Or displeasure, because you're stupid and too cowardly to do anything."

He glared, his nostrils flaring.

"Fine." He spat out, "Fair. And you?" He spun on Simon.

"Well, to admit your both going to bone each other eventually and stop this sexual tension that's so obviously there is the smart thing to do. Besides, if you do it soon, I win some money. Everyone's betting on it. We can all see it…It's so obvious, except for apparently you two."

Bellamy felt his whole body grow hot with embarrassment, "Everyone…that's an exaggeration, right?" He winced.

"No," Simon held his gaze, "Literally. Everyone."

Bellamy groaned, running his hand over his face.

"When, exactly, did people start deciding we were meant to be together?" Bellamy was almost afraid of the answer.

"Somewhere around when you started dating Gina." Simon shrugged, "Apparently only Clarke ever thought it was going to work out."

"Gina is perfectly nice!" Bellamy blubbered, "What was wrong with her?"

"Nothing. And guess what- she's in on the betting pool too." Simon said, a wicked grin on his face.

As life often goes, soon there were more worrisome things for people to occupy their time with other than the trivial love affairs of two people locked in a stalwart against each other.

Time predicted, as it had time and time again, that it was about due for another Breakout. This one was hardly life threatening, luckily it was something the doctors had a cure for on hand, it wasn't terribly hard to make. It brought a lot of problems though, as patients had to be bed-rested for a week after getting the treatment to avoid a reoccurrence of it. Lots of work schedules and school lessons went haywire, as half of the Ark was continually sick. And, if couldn't just go away in one fell swoop, but Clarke's mom told everyone the last bout of this had taken about a month or so to edge away. Luckily, once someone got the cure and passed the week mark, they couldn't get it again. It was passed through coughing and air particles, which held everyone on high alert. The worst part of it was there was no vaccine, nothing to prevent it until it happened. It was the waiting that made everyone skittish.

Bellamy, more so than anyone else, was extremely careful. To bring it home to his sister would be awful. Everyone was given a facemask and he was practically religious about wearing it, even when other people began getting lax with it.

It also meant, unfortunately, he wasn't spending much time around Clarke. Maybe it was okay, because they'd been so awkward around each other lately…

Clarke, idealistic as ever, realized about six months ago the health care on the Factory Station in particular was severely lacking. It was a long trek to get to the Med Bay near the Alpha Station, and even if they did go, they were often told to wait until the better off citizens were checked over. Only Abby Griffin didn't apply to this rule, but whoever was in line next. Many other doctors were not as considerate.

So Clarke started doing the next best thing. She wasn't allowed to be a 'doctor' yet, and her mother probably knew what she was doing but just turned a blind eye. She would hang around the Factory Station, waiting for someone to find her and say their relative had begun showing the early symptoms, and she'd go into cure them. The people loved her around here. She was absolutely fearless and had done so much good. She spent almost all her free time in the area. In her off times, she'd go searching for the orphans that led a ghost-like existence on the Ark, searching them out and caring for them. They rarely let her, and as one pre-teen orphan boy told her it was merely because she hadn't earned their trust yet. It might be years. She was, after all a daughter of two very important people that could potentially make an orphan's life worse even if they had the best intentions. This annoyed her, only because she knew these children needed help sometimes, but she found she had many other patients in the lower stations to occupy her time.

The only thing that some people had grips about was her strict and unwavering decision to keep her notes of patients, like they did in the Med Bay, with a meticulous thoroughness. A lot of the Factory Station residents were distrustful of government or having their personal information logged onto the database. As much as Clarke was there to help, she insisted upon doing it this way, or else she would turn around and leave. No one wanted to be dead, because this Breakout had been known to be fatal in bad cases or cases went untreated, so they begrudging agreed.

Besides, as she'd defended to Bellamy when he questioned her absoluteness on this caveat; it was always helpful to have someone's histories. The sickness could manifest in different ways depending on a whole slew of things, and she needed to be able to know or check back in case the medication wasn't doing it's job so she could fix it. And, they were obligated to report that they had the sickness, like everyone else.

"If I'm going behind some of the rules of being a doctor, which is to treat in the clinic, I have to uphold others. If we have no rules, everything falls to shit." That was the last she said upon the topic. Bellamy didn't disagree; he obviously liked a good set structure, being in the guard and all.

Overall, though, really no one had many complaints about the near constant presence of Alpha Princess Clarke Griffin down in their dingy quarters.

Simon's visits were temporarily stopped, at least until the sickness passed. His mother attempted to re-route her business to a quieter level and did all of her sewing in a main area, because Octavia might come in contact with a garment someone coughed on, and it could be all over. They were very alert of their own actions.

But apparently, not enough so.

It was probably picked up from someone in the after-school group. Lots of people had it, and some didn't realize they did until it got worse. Plenty of time to transfer it to Bellamy. Some people were naturally immune, but still could be carriers.

Bellamy had worked an extremely long shift (30 hours) the day before he got home to find the worst. Half the guard was sick, seeing as though they were as likely as the doctors to become ill with all the people they encountered- and they were horribly understaffed. He understood in times of crisis he couldn't just mentally check out. Plus, he figured the longer he was away from his sister; the less chances he got to infect her, right? His mother also had hardly been home that day, if at all. Food was an expensive commodity right now, with everyone trying to find extra nutrients. His mom wanted it to keep Octavia healthy, so she even had a smidgen of a chance to keep the sickness away. To do that, she was doing favors in people's rooms more frequently than she often did.

He was so tired when he got home. He could hardly stand. He opened the door, and yawned. Octavia was curled up on the bed, which was strange, since even though he might take a nap, it was almost 3 in the afternoon. Usually she was pacing or doing sit-ups or something.

"O?" He asked, frowning, but there was no answer. The hair rose on the back of his neck and all his sleepiness vanished when he realized something was wrong.

He slammed the door behind him, skidding to the bed where she lay. He turned her over, and his whole body froze. His heart stopped beating, it felt like. Octavia's skin was clammy and cold, and her lips were loosely hanging open, with a small dribble of saliva hanging from her lips. Her eyes were unresponsive when he pushed back the lids, and her limbs gave slight spasms every so often.

This was not good. It was far past the beginning stages of the sickness, it was getting bad. At this point, patients were usually sent to the Medical Bay, regardless of station, and this is the point the sickness tipped and got dangerous. He'd been present as a guard in enough of these situations to know that it could go horribly, horribly wrong.

He got up, running out the door.

"Clarke? Where's Clarke?" He ran into Dax, grabbed his arms and shook him, "Do you know where Clarke is?"

"She's helping Mrs. O'Leary. Dude, you're hurting me." Dax said, squirming. Bellamy threw him off and ran as fast as he could, racing from one end of the station to the other.

"Clarke." He was breathless when he reached her, "Please, come now."

Clarke looked up, surprised to see Bellamy standing in her doorway. She had just finished giving Elaine O'Leary a treatment of the cure, and she was about to tell Bellamy to just give her a moment. Then, she looked up and saw the absolute terror in his eyes, the darkness. She'd never seen him look like this before, so unhinged and broken.

She quickly murmured a couple closing hints to the daughter, not nearly as specific as she usually was.

"Bellamy, sit down. What's wrong?"

"We can't stop. I need you, now." He grabbed her arm, dragging her at a fast pace back through the Factory Station. To her great surprise, he led her to his door. She was about to ask what this was about, wondering if it had to do with him and the almost kiss and maybe her mind switched to the gutter for a second-

-Until he opened the door and she saw a young girl far past the stage of relative safety with the sickness.

"Oh my god." She said, "I don't…"

She hadn't healed anyone with the sickness this progressed before. She'd always sent them to her mother. The sickness would have caused infectious masses in her system that, if left in, would kill her in less than a week. She could feel the bumps near her stomach and determined that there were only five, but five more than she'd ever taken out of anyone.

"Can you save her?" Bellamy demanded. Clarke didn't even have time to question who this girl was or why she was in Bellamy's room, because her entire mind switched to Doctor mode.

She checked her pulse. It was weak. The entire girl's body was convulsing, and very feeble.

"I don't know." Clarke answered honestly and Bellamy's whole face just shattered, "I'll try. She's too dangerous to move right now, I'll have to do it here. My mom's in a surgery…oh my god." She took a deep inhale. She'd seen her mother do the procedure for this Stage Two about fifty times now, even if she hadn't done it personally. Bellamy looked about ready to fall to pieces; she couldn't be in that state as well. She needed to be brave, for him, for this poor girl. She took a deep breath, anchoring herself to the need.

"Okay, Bellamy. Get a washcloth wet to put on her head. You'll do whatever I tell you to do, got it?"

He nodded, scampering off. Clarke did everything out of order; usually she logged the patient number into a database, read over to see if there was usual information, and then took general tests and asked a few questions. She didn't have time for that right now, and started checking the pulse and responsiveness right off the bat.

It wasn't until Bellamy got back that she'd finished. He put the washcloth on her forehead so tenderly, his bottom lip quivering. He almost looked ready to cry.

Clarke pulled her pale left arm up, taking out her scanner. She ran it over the arm, but nothing came up. After three tires of a blank screen, Clarke pushed her finger over the girl's skin…and there was nothing there. No scar for an entry chip, the bump to indicate one, or an ugly one that seemed to say that she tried to take it out. Just unblemished skin.

That's when it hit her…this girl was an illegal child.

She didn't have more time to consider what this meant, or question anything about it at all really, other than the medical note that this girl was probably reacting so violently because she'd never been vaccinated before, and therefore had no fighters in her body to beat back some of the illness.

"Tell me everything you know about her medical history, anything that might be relevant." She said, unsure if Bellamy would know anything about her. Her first thought, and she didn't spend much time on thinking about it either, was that he'd found her and brought her into his room.

He was a mess, and could only mumble out a couple things, nothing much helpful.

She opened her medical bag, took a deep breath and took out her scalpel and the necessary injections and other tools, and begun.

"Stop hovering." She growled to Bellamy when he was practically leaning over her shoulder, "Find something else to do."

"Like what?" He snapped. It was the meanest tone he'd ever used with her. She frowned; an emotional response? Then, she looked up and saw the bags under his eyes and recalled Ana complaining about the long hours everyone who wasn't sick had to work.

"Like sleep. You're obviously exhausted." She said tenderly, and would have touched his cheek, had both her hands not been covered in this girl's blood.

"I can't." He sounded hollowed out, "Not right now."

He didn't hover the rest of the time, but he didn't sleep either. He just sat on a chair, looking far older than he was in this moment, staring intensely at Clarke at the girl. It was unnerving and heartbreaking at the same time.

After the longest three hours of Clarke's life, she finished the stitches on the girl, and gave her the last injection, she turned to Bellamy.

"All we can do is wait now. I need to go back to get some more injections for her, I don't carry them around with me much. Most of the people I see aren't this far off." She said. Also, she was going to get some vaccines for her when she was down there too. She hoped she got all the pieces. Maybe when the girl was better, Clarke could take her to get a scan? But, then again, if she was getting better it would mean they were gone, and if she got worse Clarke will have failed and missed some and it would be more dangerous to move her. All they could really do was wait and hope.

"I'll come with you." He said, frowning.

The girl was no longer in pain or passed out, but instead sleeping. Clarke had given her some medicine to make her stay asleep through the procedure so the pain wouldn't bother her, if she happened to come around. There was nothing she could do now…she would either get better or start her decay of death. The injections could hopefully break apart any small pieces left, but it couldn't be given until exactly two hours after the surgery or her heart might stop. She hoped the girl would remain in good condition until then.

"Good. We should let her sleep in here. We don't want to wake her…she needs it to recover. Should you leave your mom a note…?"

"No…she'll understand." Bellamy said, incredibly blasé about having a stranger sleeping his room. His mother was incredibly caring though, so perhaps he knew she'd be able to tell what had happened and wouldn't mind.

The walk back to the Alpha Station was silent, and her mind was finally thinking not in medical terms. She wanted to wait until they were safe in her house to muster the courage to say what was on her mind, but somehow it slipped out anyway in the quietest whisper.

"She was an illegal kid." She said. She looked at Bellamy. He hardly responded, except for a clenching of his jaw. As a guard, shouldn't this upset him? What was he going to do? It was after a moment she realized that he wasn't even surprised to know this.

Clarke needed to talk to him about this.

She got the things she needed, and steered him toward her house. Both her parents were tied up with the whole Breakout, so she knew they could talk freely.

She had hardly locked the door when Bellamy was speaking. Well, he was more rambling and his composure was completely gone.

"I know that you're a Griffin, an Alpha, and this comes with certain kinds of responsibilities…expectations. I know that you play by the rules, it's your life, it's what you do… to hide something is asking a lot but please, please Clarke…don't tell them about my sister. Without Octavia, I'm nothing. I can't do anything now because you know, but please, I'm begging you."

Sister…

Her mouth went completely dry. She stared at Bellamy, still rambling on, getting more worried by the second and tears leaking from his face while her mind tried to play catch up with this information thrown at her. He apparently thought she'd already figured it out.

She recalled the way their noses both curved, the line of the jaw, the galaxy of freckles so light upon their cheeks, the shape of the face…and she couldn't believe she hadn't made the connection there. Maybe she didn't want to admit it, acknowledge it as truth.

Now she realized why he was so terrified, so intent on keeping Simon alive…because he saw himself in that boy's predicament, if things went wrong. Why he was always so withdrawn, why no one had been to his house…so many things clicked.

And as much as one side of her meagerly pointed out what she should do is report it-more of a knee jerk reaction than anything else, she realized that the idea of reporting the girl-Octavia- from the moment she knew she was illegal physically disgusted her. And now, standing in front of Bellamy pleading for his life and knowing whom it was? That it was his sister? Now the thought felt like poison in her mind.

And she thought of Simon. She thought of how he nearly killed himself because he lost them all and how Bellamy looked so terrified because he had to wonder if this would be him someday? She thought of all the shit Simon went through and how Charlotte stabbed someone in her fear and how Bellamy felt this experience so personally and she didn't even know it but it was like a warning, and even if a smidgen of her had ever considered saying anything, she knew better now because of Simon. She couldn't.

She thought of Uma and Simon too, how he said that he'd kept a girl that he possibly loved an arm's length away so that his sister could be safe. She thought of how Bellamy hadn't done that and she didn't think it was because he loved his sister any less than Simon…it just meant that she meant so much more to him. The severity of this realization made her whole mouth go dry, for him choosing to be her friend and let her in almost all parts of his life while knowing the risks and not knowing how she'd react was like he was already saying he loved her without ever admitting he liked her. This gave Clarke a warm courage she hadn't ever felt before, one that made words form in her lips.

"I could never tell them. I couldn't do that, not to you, your mom, your…sister." The word rolled off her tongue like a foreign phrase. She, despite hardly meeting her, already loved her. Because, if Bellamy loved someone so passionately Clarke was sure she would too.

And that's when she realized, truly, the thought of turning them in had never even crossed her mind and never would have. It was only when Bellamy brought it up that the idea could exist to be firmly booted out of her mind.

Bellamy stopped talking mid-sentence, staring at her.

"Really?" She understood his hesitation, his fear. His whole life was in her hands, so precariously, and she wasn't offended that he worried she might drop it. She had zero intention of doing so, in fact she would much rather hug it close to her forever. She took a step toward him, so they were inches apart, so he understood her honesty.

"I swear on my life, I'll never tell a soul. I'm not capable of hurting you like that, ever. I'd only hurt myself in the process." She said sincerely. Bellamy wiped the tears on the back of his hand, although now she wondered if they were not tears of fear and uncertainty but of relief and happiness. He was staring at her like she was a goddess. He seemed to not know what to say, so she just continued.

"Bellamy, I'd take your secret to my grave-,"

Before she knew what was happening next, his lips had collided with hers, cutting off her promise midsentence. One hand weaved itself into her hair; the other pulled her against him. It was fair, she supposed, since maybe she'd been the one to make the first move all those weeks ago that he did this now. She was so glad that he finally had. She could still taste the salty residue of his tears drying on his cheeks, the taste mingled on his lips.

She didn't hesitate for a moment to grab onto both sides of his face to reaffirm her feelings back toward him.

Her legs hit the back of the couch, and she pulled him down on top of her as she sat down, his legs straddled on either side of hers.  
"Clarke…I…" He pulled away, everything he wanted to say in her name already. It was gratitude, need, relief, affection, and laughter all in one.

"I know, Bell, stars, I know." She replied, pulling him back in for another kiss.

As much as she wanted to stay like this forever, reality sank back in, and he realized it too. There was much to talk about between them.

"Tell me everything about her." She said after a moment when they'd detangled themselves.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. It was killing me not to be able to let you know."

"I understand," Her brows furrowed, "I'm not upset. If you had told me, I'd still understand. I wish the circumstances were better, of course."

"Everything I've ever done is to protect her. It's my responsibility to keep her safe." He sat, staring at the ground, twiddling his thumbs.

"That's why you took the guard job…over the teaching position?" Clarke said, it dawning on her. He gave her a slow nod, "Why you always insisted on boxing up some food at dinner here…"

"I'd do anything for her." He said quietly.

"I will too now." She said. He jerked his head up.

"Clarke, we just kissed…and I know you're my best friend, but I don't expect you to-,"

"You can't say no." She said, grinning, "She's going to be like my sister too, and family sticks together. I'm not just going to passively let her live; I'm going to do whatever I can to make her life awesome. I have a lot of ways to help her, living in Alpha." Bellamy knew this to be true. He gave a laugh of disbelief, wiping the back of his hand across his eyes.

"Here I thought it was all going to end today. Seeing her like that…I've never been so terrified in my life. She was going to die or we were going to get caught…Have you ever had a choice so impossible, Clarke? This was one of those times. And yet…it's like a freaking fairy tale ending. Seems impossible." He said, shaking his head in quiet amazement.

"Everyone deserves a happy ending." Clarke assured him, scooting closer to him.

"Yeah, guess so." He gave a smirk, leaning back in to kiss Clarke again. He pushed her down onto the couch so he was above her, but he held himself quietly to her wishes. He wasn't going to force her into anything she didn't want to do. While she'd told him about her kisses, he wasn't sure if she'd done more 'adult' things. It was something he couldn't blame her for not telling him when they were just 'friends' because he hadn't told Clarke as far as he'd gotten.

"Mhh, as much as I love this, and totally want to continue it at a later date, we need to get back to check on your sister." She said. Bellamy sat up straight away, nodding in agreement. She scribbled a quick note to her parents, and took off back toward the Factory Station with Bellamy.

As she left, she considers the way Bellamy's mind single-handedly switched between her and his sister (which is still the oddest concept to wrap her mind around). She realizes that at the center of everything Bellamy is, it's always been his sister. That she might never be first in his life, even if they've only ever had one kiss and such, that she'll always be second to Octavia and she's okay with that. It makes her heart thump a little faster when she looks at him, knowing in her heart he's so devoted and that he has such a capacity to love…

When they get back to his room, Octavia is still in the same medicinal induced sleep that Clarke left her in.

"Should she be up?" Bellamy is nervous.

"This is okay. I don't think she's in any pain, but still, she can stay like this." Clarke checks to make sure she's out of the woods, and sighs with relief. She gets up, checking the time, and looking around.

"So…when is your mom going to get back?" She asks, looking around the small room, really taking in that this is the first time she's ever seen her best friend's house. It's homey. She can see stitched blankets all over the chairs and beds, little pieces from every scrap his mother has ever had. Her work things strewn across one half of the table, and things for Octavia across the other. Bellamy's things are nicely packed in the back shelves. The bathroom is tiny, but functional. She spots the painkillers her parents gave him a while back sitting on the shelf, alone. There are just a couple of emptied out bottles of female products next to it, but it's been long used up.

"Is it Tuesday?" Bellamy asks, "So…she won't be home until tomorrow." He answers. There's a darker tone beneath his quiet answer, something that she can tell bothers him but he doesn't want to tell her. He's shared enough for one day; she won't badger him about it now.

"Well," She says, refocusing herself to him, biting her lip, "It would be unprofessional of me to leave a patient in the middle of the night, unable to monitor them…especially after what she went through." She says.

"What…what about your parents?" He frowns.

"I told them I'd be staying the night at Raven's." She shrugs, "It's not like that, I'm serious, Bell." She says, "I should stay with her."

"I know, I know. I'm not asking anything of you. We only just kissed, of course." His voice is quiet, throaty.

"So…" She looks at the two beds. Octavia is sprawled out on the bigger one, and she figures Bellamy must sleep there with her. It leaves the smaller bed- usually for the child in a family- and Bellamy is already climbing up there. He makes a motion and she throws off her outer layer until she's just in her leggings and tank top.

It's small, meant for one person, so she has to scoot close to Bellamy so no one falls off. She can't imagine how this night could have gone so horribly on one hand, but perfectly on the other…how she could end up pressed up against him like this, his breath hot on her neck. He reaches over and switches off the light, and it's dark sans a tiny nightlight in the corner of the room.

"I've wanted to kiss you for ages." He whispers into her hair.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I'd sound creepy if I told you how long it's been since I began liking you." He chuckles, and Clarke sucks in.  
"It would be creepy if I told you the sort of dreams I've been having about you," She fires back, feeling brave.

"Good ones, I hope." He says, his voice sleepy.

"The best." She agrees, but her cheeks still stain red as she thinks of them.

It's not long until they're both asleep.

Clarke wakes up to an unfamiliar voice.

"Bell? Bell? I feel weird…Bell, can you get me some water?"

Clarke frowns, looking around, wondering where she is. It isn't until she feels someone shifting beside her, and she turns to see Bellamy blearily getting up, that everything rushes back to her.

Bellamy shimmies down to his sister, grabbing a cup and filling it in the sink.

"Hey?" He says, "How do you feel?"

"Shitty." She replies, "What the hell happened to me?"

"You got sick. Really bad." He says, and Clarke figures now is a good as time as any to treat her patient. Octavia is up and talking. This is great. It means that she got all the masses out. It's still a long journey until she's better, but she's basically out of trouble of getting worse now, if she is able to continue to get medicine (Clarke will make sure of that, even if she has to lie on some medical forms). She steps down, and finds herself at the foot of the bed of the girl. Now that Octavia is feeling a bit better, Clarke is stunned by how much she resembles Bellamy, but how much more feminine she is. She looks great, even though she just woke up from a heavy sleep. It's simply not fair. She also seems to be Clarke's age. She thinks that in another life, one where she was always in Clarke's grade, they would have been awesome friends from the start. She just knows.

Octavia is silent for a moment, and the water cup slips from her fingers. Her eyes widen, and her mouth sags.

"Er…Hi? I'm-,"

"Clarke!" Octavia finishes in a near shout, her whole face lighting up "Shit, Bell, she is beautiful."

Clarke quirks an eyebrow at Bellamy, who groans loudly and runs his fingers over his face.

"Octavia, please…" He mutters.

"I'm so sorry we have to meet like this, with me feeling like death warmed over." Octavia hardly heard her brother, "I promise, I don't always look so awful…but, you know I guess I almost died?" She frowns, thinking, "That's probably how we met, really. Bell got you to save me from whatever happened. It must have been bad." She realized, looking at her brother.

"It was." He pressed his lips together, "I always wanted to tell you…I would have, eventually." Clarke realized he was speaking to her now.

"It's fine." She can to stand beside Bellamy, "So, Octavia…what are you feeling right now?" She asked, lapsing into doctor mode.

Although Octavia was still weak and needed to be on bed rest for a couple days, her exuberance to meet the 'famed Clarke' was a little amusing. Bellamy just got redder and redder the more Octavia talked, and Clarke truly understood for the first time just how much Bellamy might actually like her. She also got a bunch of embarrassing Bellamy stories all at once, and she threw in her own that he might have not wanted to share with his sister (apparently, he hadn't, and he soon left to get breakfast, fed up with the two females in his house).

"God, I just…wow." Octavia finally murmured, as Clarke began to give her the vaccines that she'd never had the chance to have.

"I know." Clarke agreed, "Think of it from me. I only figured out like 12 hours ago you existed." She said.

"So, you kissed him first, right?" Octavia questioned.

"How…how did you know we kissed?" Clarke frowned at her.

"I've had a literal lifetime of studying the subtle art of Bellamy Blake. He's ecstatic right now. Unless you accidently flashed him, the only other logical explanation is you two kissed." She said.

"Well, actually he kissed me." Clarke said.

"What?" Octavia coughed, "Didn't expect that one." She commented dryly, "There were times I literally thought you'd go on and get married and he'd just stand, watching you, pathetically."

"That's not very nice." Clarke couldn't help but laugh a little though. Octavia flashed her a cheesy grin.

"We're siblings."

Clarke was momentarily taken aback, as her find perhaps finally caught up with the events of the day, as she realized that she only knew what that phrase meant by her cheeky smile. The word sibling was like knowledge, not a feeling. She had no idea what being a sibling was, not really. Raven claimed to have siblings in all their friends, but to truly be related to someone around your age? It was such a novel idea to Clarke, one that she contemplated deeply.

There was noise outside the door.

"Ah, Bellamy! How nice of you to get all three of us dinner."

It was their mother. Clarke and Octavia shared quiet looks. She would find out that Clarke knew, eventually.

"Where do you usually hide?" Clarke asked with a hint of humor.

"Floorboards." Octavia nodded to a place where now that there'd been attention drawn to it, she could see a place where one floorboard was not as crafted as the other, had a couple more dents, looked worn.

"Don't think I'll have enough time." Clarke said regretfully. Octavia chuckled. "I hardly fit, I'm just used to it. You'd be really uncomfortable." She said, "Might as well stay here. I want mom to know…I want you coming around more often, you know?"

"Ah, hey mom…before you open the door, actually I'd like to talk to you about something…" Bellamy tried to keep her outside for a moment, but the door was already opening.

"I'm sure anything we have to talk about we can inside…" She trailed off, looking between the two girls sitting there. Bellamy looked pale and terrified, which was a reasonable reaction, balancing three meals as he shut the door behind him quickly.

"Clarke…Octavia…" Aurora commented, looking at them, trying to understand what was going on. Bellamy and Clarke both tried to think of a good way to begin this, and then Octavia said possibly one of the worst openings she could have.

"Guess what mom, I almost died!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OCTAVIA MEETS CLARKE AND BELLARKE GET TOGETHER?! It's Christmas in September!
> 
> So, because this week was so busy and I only foresee it getting worse, this story will be updated every week (or every 7 days) now instead of 4/5. It's sad I have to switch for that, but I don't wan't yall waiting around for a chapter that's probably always going to be pushed to this sort of thursday update.
> 
> In other news, I have become OBSESSED with the Tv show Stranger Things on Netflix. I watched it in one day. I haven't felt so empty when it ended since, well the 100 which I discovered almost two years ago. That's a big deal for me...probably means Stranger Things fanfictions are coming...I am IN LOVE with Jonathan/Nancy, although I'm not upset they didn't get together. I don't actually hate Steve...because, well, he isn't a jerk. He's a regular teen. I think the Duffer bros made the teens in the show very rounded and not flat at all, which only adds to it. If I have any other Stranger Things fans in my readers, holla at me!
> 
> So, remember to review with how happy you are that they FINALLY got over themselves and got together ;) I'm so excited to see y'alls reactions!


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is basically all fluff. It has a tiny bit of plot, but a lot of it is just Bellarke being adorable together (which, after the heavy stuff we've had and some heavy stuff coming, we totally need).

11 Years after Start of Program

"…And Wilson, Holmes…take Factory Station today. Dismissed."

Bellamy looked around in confusion as the cadets nodded and went about on their way, while he remained sitting. His name, an assignment, hadn't been called.

"Sir?" He questioned, thinking that perhaps David had accidentally skipped over his name while reading it, but the older guardsmen was looking at Bellamy with a childlike smile.

"Bellamy, come here." He said and Bellamy approached him, "Good news- at the end of this season, you'll take over as the newest instructor."

"What?" Bellamy coughed, laughing a bit, "Are you serious?" He'd been waiting what seemed like eons to become a teacher, and lately he'd been thinking it might never happen. It was like he let out a long sigh of relief he'd been holding almost three years.

"I know. You'll report to Lt. Swan, she'll be retiring soon. You'll watch classes and how she does it for the next couple months, perhaps help a day or two, and eventually take over."

"Do you think I'll be ready to be teaching new cadets in just a few months?" Bellamy asked, concerned. David gave a laugh.

"Bellamy," He put a hand on his shoulder, "It's not often that we get the number one Cadet in his class wanting to go on teaching. Most want blood, gore, battles…all totally unrealistic things upon the Ark. You could probably take the class over today and do just fine."

"Your confidence in me is overstated, I think, sir." Bellamy felt his face redden from the compliment.

"Hardly." David said. Bellamy bowed, with every intention to find his new teacher until David stopped him. Bellamy turned, and David looked even more pleased yet.

"It would be unfitting for you to remain a Cadet at this point, you would have graduated years beyond it if you were any normal case. Because of this, you are no longer Cadet Blake but Sergeant Blake."

"S…Sergeant?" Bellamy nearly fell over, "That's higher than anyone in my class currently." He felt a little faint.

"As it should be. You demand the respect of the people you will be teaching. It's more than fair. I actually railed for you to become Lieutenant Blake, but Shumway thought that perhaps we should give you a couple months to fill your new large shoes before shoving you up the ladder."

"I…oh my gosh." Bellamy leaned on the wall for support.

"There will be an official rank-change meeting, per usual." David said, stepping forward, "But there's no reason we can't do this now…" He said, unpinning the 'Cadet Blake' patch from his jacket and reattaching a new, shiner tag. Bellamy felt his breath leave him just looking at it.

He looked up at David with a sly grin.

"I guess this makes us even, Sergeant Miller?" He teased.

"Ah, I guess it would…except, you know, I'm the Chief of the Guards. Representing all of us on the council. Except for that, I guess so." He replied back with just as much mirth.

"Why aren't you higher ranked?" Bellamy asked, finding it curious he was still merely a Sergeant. David shrugged.

"I am not here to climb the ladder. I am content in my job, in my place. If Shumway ever thinks I am deserving of something more, I would happily accept it, but I don't feel the need to rise higher in this moment." He paused, "Perhaps one day."

"Thank you, sir." Bellamy said, still star struck at how his life had changed so much in a singular instant.

"Now, get to work. Swan's expecting you."

As Bellamy walked around the training area, through the locker room and off area, people were patting him on the back and congratulating him. Good new must travel fast, he thought with a wide grin.

Lt. Swan was waiting for him. He recalled liking her the best out of the people that he was trained by. She was tough, but not unreasonable. Firm, but giving in times of need. Understanding, but not a fool.

"Blake!" She barked when he came into view, "Just in time…"

"What are you doing here, Cadet?" Murphy sniggered, lounging on the chairs. It was so odd to see Murphy here, but obviously he was 17 now and Bellamy knew he was one that had chosen the guard as his chosen path. He liked to think maybe it was because of him. Either way, he didn't spend much time with the cadets being taught, and he hadn't really considered the fact he'd now be in charge of him until now.

"Murphy! That is no way to speak to your new teacher, Sergeant Blake." Swan snapped. Murphy jumped to attention, eyes wide, almost happy.

"Oh shit!" Miller said, and snapped his hand over his mouth far too late. He was already one of the best in the class, apparently, no surprise to anyone since his father was so well trained.

"Cadet Miller, language." Swan said, but even her eyes glimmered with laugher.

"You'll just have to get used to me bossing you all around." Bellamy said, grinning.

"We get that from Clarke enough already. You too now? Ug, it's like you're already married." Murphy rolled his eyes.

It had been nearly two months since he'd started dating Clarke, and it was by far the happiest two months of his life.

His mother had been thrilled because she did like Clarke. She was hardly mad Clarke knew about Octavia (what with her saving her life and all). It was frustrating now because Octavia constantly wanted her over, and sometimes Bellamy just wanted a quiet moment alone to make out with his girlfriend.

Clarke's parents were also thrilled, which neither was expecting. Bellamy had been there on at least two occasions where her mother had given her the 'don't get attached' talk when she liked a new gal or guy, but her parents had just grinned stupidly and not said a word when Clarke told them. It was unnerving to both of them.

Everyone in the group had replied with varying responses of 'finally' or 'about time'. No one thought they shouldn't be dating, which was majorly comforting to Bellamy. Not that he would have cared, but it gave him more hope to that tiny dream he had that this would be his last relationship…that he'd marry her one day.

He hadn't told Clarke this yet, no reason to scare her off, but when he saw her…she was it. There was no more. She was the one.

The first day, Bellamy merely observed. He was given his own Holopad, which all higher-ranking officers received to keep up to date on what was happening, and he supposed that was almost he now, and also so he had a notepad. A small look through made his spine tingle; he had private information about when any and all random room inspections would occur along with other information. With this, his mother never would have to trade sex for information again. He could only glance at it, though, for he had information to gather.

He took painstakingly detailed notes on how Swan commanded the Cadets-in-training, how she explained certain ideas, how she diffused a situation. Watching Swan teach was like watching artist paint. His heart swelled with excitement when he realized this would be him very soon.

He acted nonchalant about the whole deal when he went to the break room for lunch. Ana, Keith, and Marc all eyed him with varying degrees of emotion as he approached. He pretended he had no idea why they were looking at him like that, and leaned back in his chair, covering his new nametag by crossing his arms over his chest.

"It's true, ain't it?" Marc asked, sounding angry and jealous- he was only Guardsmen Scarlett, and the only reason he wasn't still a Cadet is because unless it was a case like Bellamy's, he was made a guard with the rest of their class.

"What's true?" He asked, raising his eyebrow, leaning over carefully to take a bite of his chili. Oh, it was hot. He better let it sit a moment still.

"Oh, come off it. You know exactly what we're talking about." Guardsmen Keith Hazer said, sounding passive about it, just curious instead of angry or happy. He was a good Guardsman, and Bellamy was sure he was indifferent about the whole affair because he'd be moving up in the ceremony as well, likely to an Inspector.

"Nope." Bellamy was enjoying this.

"So the rumor that you haven't been shoved above us all isn't true, then?" Ana- Inspector Woloschuck (Or, Inspector W as everyone else called her) asked, raising an eyebrow. She'd only been made Inspector a half-season ago, a little bit after Charlotte was found.

"Ah, that. Well…" Bellamy made an elaborate motion of stretching his arms over his head, uncovering his new title with a smug grin.

"No way! Arg, you bastard!" Ana said, punching him, but from her grin he knew she was happy for him.

"Congrats, buddy." Keith said, nodding, "You really deserve it."

"Fucking hell." Marc kicked a chair across from him, his expression sour. Bellamy thought that he might have only liked Bellamy because he was lower in rank than him.

"It's long overdue." Ana said finally, "I'm surprised they didn't just up and make you Commander."

"Well, that would have to mean Shumway was leaving…" Bellamy pointed out.

"Yeah, wouldn't be the worst thing." Ana said, snorting.

"Maybe one day." Bellamy gave a shrug, "I'm just happy to be here."

He nearly skipped back to his room when he was dismissed for the day, a handful of change jingling in his pocket. This change in status meant a change in his credit-stipend, and he'd go from still having to carefully spread his salary with his mother to having something left over nearly every month.

"Mom, O, you'll never guess what happened! I got promoted!" He said, before they even had time to guess, "Look at this!" He threw the money on the table, as they'd given him a promotion bonus that day. It was only a week's worth of what he'd be given, but it was almost more than he and his mother ever had, combined.

"Oh my god…I've never seen this much credit in one place…" Octavia mumbled, eyes widening.  
"This is just a week's worth." Bellamy said with a wide grin, "Can you imagine? We might actually get three full meals now. And…and mom can afford to find you some new fabric for clothes!"

"Bellamy, this is…" His mother had tears in her eyes.

"That's not all." Bellamy said, flipping out his holotablet, "Look!" He pulled up the Inspector schedule, "We're due for a 'random' inspection on the…" He scrolled to their name, "30th of September."

His mother clapped a hand over her open mouth, speechless. He looked at his mother gently.

"You know what all this means now, don't you mom? You'll never have to-,"

"No," The were tears in her eyes, "Never again…" She whispered, understanding his words. For the last 15 years, she'd been giving away pieces of herself to keep her family together and safe. It must be odd for her to think she'd never have to prepare herself to do such work again…that she could finally be free of it.

"We should have a feast tonight. Turkey, a whole one! Or…or steak!" He said, swiping it up and running the coins between his fingers.

"Or," Octavia said, looking at their mom with a smile, "Maybe you should use it to take Clarke on a date?"

"Yes! Please, do that." His mother agreed, "You'll have more money coming to you, and we'll have that feast another night."

Bellamy hardly had to be told twice. In another word, with another girlfriend, he might have fought it. But with Clarke? He was a little angry he hadn't thought of it first himself. She deserved the best.

"You're right." He kissed both of them on the cheek, "I'll see you later tonight."

He made a couple stops along the way to Clarke's house; first to the food market, and then to the trade store. He even had some credit left over when he was finished, a feeling he'd never had before.

He knocked on Clarke's door, setting his basket of things outside.

"Bell! Hey," Clarke said, grinning, pulling him inside. He grabbed the basket, setting it near the door. She leaned up to kiss him, and he smiled, pulling himself around her. He'd never get tired of this.

"I made plans for us tonight. We're going on a date." He said.

Clarke pulled back, frowning.

"A date? Where? Why?"

"Can't I just want to spend time with my girlfriend?" He asked, rolling his eyes, "Sides, you got something better to do?"

"Well, my plans were to just re-read Breaking Dawn on one of the hololibraries here, so no…not really." She said, laughing,

"Urg, yeah, my plan is much better." He said, wincing. His sister also loved those ridiculous classical vampire books from like a million years ago.

"Do we have some time before we go?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Why?" He asked, looking around.

"Well, because my mom and dad are both working late tonight…It will be at least another half our before either of them get back." She said. She was leading him over to the couch.

"Yeah, we have some time." He said, all to happy to oblige.

She kissed him hard, shoving off his jacket, which was usually the first thing to go. Her hands ran up his chest, under his shirt, doing the usual exploring. Bellamy kept his hands on her hips, always waiting for her to make the first move.

She looked up at him, eyes sly.

"So, was my little Cadet a good boy today or a bad boy?" She questioned, dragging her teethed own his jaw. Even if they hadn't gotten to anything past intense kissing, one thing Bellamy already realized was Clarke was kinky as hell. He was going to enjoy where this took him; that was for sure. He was respectful of her pace, of course, but it didn't mean he wasn't absolutely excited for the rest of their sexual relationship.

She'd maneuvered them to her bed, pushed him down onto the mattress. She crawled on top of him, legs on either side of his body. She liked being in control. But today, excited by his new position, he flipped them around so she was underneath him.

"Cadet Blake!" She cried in faux anger, "What a-,"

"Princess, it's rude to mis-rank a Guardsmen. It's Sergeant Blake now." He said, leaning down to kiss her.

Clarke, slack jawed, shoved him off her. Her whole face split into a grin and she shook her head.

"No way." She said, "No way!" Her voice grew louder and squeakier.

"Uh huh." He said, grinning, "Aren't you going to congratulate me?" He asked cheekily.

"I have every intention…" She said, pulling him back on top of her, placing his hands a little lower than her hips, while her own traveled down his back.

They kissed like this until they heard the front door clicking. They both jumped up, and situated themselves on the couch. They'd gotten quite good at that. Not that he thought that parents weren't totally aware of what their children did in relationships, but he wasn't ready to be found in a compromising position yet.

"Mom, dad!" Clarke leapt up, "Did you hear? Bellamy's a sergeant now!"

"I did." Jake said, "David was beaming about it all day. He's just as happy about it as you are."

"Are you two going to celebrate?" Abby asked.

Bellamy resisted the dirty thoughts of what he wanted to do with Clarke that would be a proper celebration. Instead, he nodded to the basket by the door.

"A date, ma'am." He said.

"Ah, sounds great!" Jake said, clapping his hands together, "Just have her back sometime, Bellamy." He said.

"Of course, sir."

They were always relaxed about Clarke going anywhere with Bellamy. He could have told them they were going out to have wild sex on the Chancellor's chair, and he was relatively certain they'd just say, 'Well, be careful!'

It was already darkening in the halls when they went out. Bellamy knew exactly where he was taking her.

"It's beautiful tonight…" Clarke said, as they approached one of the viewing windows of Earth. Tonight, down there, there were few clouds, which led to a magnificent view of the cerulean blue seas and the forest green earth.

He, meanwhile, got everything set up while Clarke was enchanted.

He coughed, and she turned. Her whole face lit up. In front of them was a picnic.

"Where in the world…"

"I got a bonus for moving up, wanted to spend it on you." He said meekly, shoving his hands in his pockets, "Do you like it?"

"Like it? Bellamy, I love it." She breathed, "But you shouldn't have."

"Of course I should have. You're my girlfriend. You deserve this." He assured her, "Now, c'mon, Princes. Fancy some champagne?"

"We are getting fancy." She laughed, sitting on the old blanket, "How are you sure someone won't come by and yell at us for this?" She asked.

"Because I have this." Bellamy took out his holopad, "Seems as though this area isn't due for a round until about 2 am tonight, and I doubt we'll still be here."

Clarke chuckled, "I think you're abusing that power, Blake." She teased.

He shrugged.

"I'm sure everyone who has one of these does, once and awhile. I'm doing something harmless here."

"Wow, Bellamy Blake breaking rules. What have I turned you into?" Clarke wondered out loud.

"It's only for you." He rolled his eyes. She smiled.

"I'm glad I'm such a bad influence."

They ate for awhile, Bellamy sharing stories of his first day as a teacher-in-training, and Clarke about her stories of doing her rounds at the jobs, even though everyone pretty much knew she was going to be a doctor like her mother. Because of that, she was given either ridiculously hard jobs to do as a rounder, or laughably easy ones.

Soon, Clarke looked at Bellamy, and raised her glass with a smirk.

"We should play truth or dare. Or, well, just truth, I guess." She said.

Bellamy raised an eyebrow.

"And talk about what? We know everything about each other." He said.

"Not everything." Clarke never had a shy moment, not even now, "Like…are you a virgin?"

Bellamy tried not to choke on the piece of meat he'd been enjoying. They hadn't talked about this, not truly yet. He guessed he didn't know either.

"You're rather casual about this." He wondered if it was because she did this often, this talk. She seemed to be able to read him right away.

"Oh, get that look off your face. No, I haven't done this talk with any other of my significant others. I do it with you because I do see us going somewhere." She said, looking at him, "I wouldn't have threatened our friendship by dating you if I didn't think we weren't going to end up together, in some way. Not today or tomorrow or anywhere soon, but someday."

His whole body felt as though it was being lifted up. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"But, you haven't answered my question." She said, artfully taking them away from the declaration she'd just made.

"Oh, well…yeah." He said. Clarke actually looked shocked.

"Really? Not with Gina?"

Bellamy shook his head, "You?"

"What kind a girl do you think I am, Blake?" She threw a French fry at him, "Not yet. How far have you gone?"

"Third base." He shrugged. Clarke looked confused.

"Bases…?" She said, frowning.

"Old slang. Ana wrote me up a whole chart." He said, looking embarrassed, "It's a better way to talk about it without being obvious." He said.

"Do you have it on you?"

"Ahh…" Bellamy rubbed the back of his neck. Clarke guffawed.

"You actually have it on you."

"Yeah, well, Ana uses the terms all the time, and so does Benny and Simon and I need it just as a dictionary!" He groaned, handing the sheet to Clarke. She'd watched more than a few old recordings of baseball games with her father and Wells, so she knew what it was referring to.

"Oh. Now I'm going to have to reevaluate anytime I ever heard someone talking about baseball, if they were actually talking about the game or…this." She said, rolling her eyes, "There's just a term for everything, isn't there?"

"Uh huh."

"Hmm, so third base?" She said, eyeing him, "Did you give or receive third base?"

"Receive." He said, looking less embarrassed than she thought he would, "Gina. We broke up before I had time to return the favor. Not that I'm against giving it." He assured her.

"Ah. Well, I guess I'm up to second base then. Sorta; it wasn't underneath my clothes. A guy I kissed got very handsy around here," She motioned to her breasts, "But he was only a good kisser. I think he didn't know what he was doing up here." She laughed.

"I assure you, I'm not so uneducated."

"With who?" Clarke scoffed, "You've only kissed Stasia and Gina."

"Ah, about that…" He winced, "I may have kissed a couple other girls, but I didn't tell you because it was more about the things other than kissing that it was about…and most of them were one-time things."

"Hmm." Was all Clarke said.

"I thought you'd be upset I didn't tell you?"

"What? Tell my poor virgin ears that you got a hand job from a girl somewhere? Yeah, I really wanted to hear that." She rolled her eyes, totally sarcastic, "Besides, I like a guy with some experience." She winked.

"Not that much." He said, hoping she wasn't getting her expectations up for a lot of things he hadn't done.

They continued with their 20-questions game, as it was more like that than Truth or Dare, with a list given to Clarke from Raven, pretty much all about sex or things close to it. A lot of the questions they couldn't answer yet because neither of them had the experience to answer it.

"So, if you got this from Raven…does that mean her and Murphy are doing it behind our backs?"

"We all wish." Clarke sighed, "No, Raven is just as much a virgin as us. She got the list from Sarah Helm."

"Sarah's for sure had some." Bellamy agreed, and Clarke hummed in agreement. The conversation turned into guessing which of their group members had or had not done things yet, and if so, how far.

"Well, Marisha for sure." Clarke announced.

"For sure? Why for sure?" He asked.

"She applied for a marriage license." She said like it was obvious.

"Maybe she's catholic and waiting until marriage?" Bellamy pointed out. Clarke made a sound behind her hands.

"Not trying out the merchandise before you buy it?" Clarke frowned, "Okay…that sounds fake, but okay…"

There were some the unequivocally agreed on, mostly because they knew or could easily guess that they had made a 'home run' which included Stasia, Ana, Benny, Sarah, Kieran, Atom, and Roma. There were some they were absolutely sure maybe hadn't even made first base, and that was Al, Fox, and Felice. Everyone else they couldn't tell or were at odds about.

"Raven has for sure kissed Finn, or Finn has kissed her." Clarke argued, "And he goes right for tongue- first base right there."

"No, way. She's obviously in love with Murphy. Unless you heard it firsthand from her, I'm not gunna believe it."

"Doesn't mean she wanted it! If Finn kissed me, I'd want to hide it too…" Clarke argued, "Now I mean, not when we were…dating, or whatever it was."

"Well, Wells and Bree for sure haven't French kissed."

"They've been dating like two years."

"Ugg, ew. No. I don't want to believe it."

"Just because it grosses you out doesn't mean it hasn't happened."

"So you think they've done it?"

Clarke frowned, "Let's not get crazy now."

"Where do you think people would put us?" Bellamy asked, "If they were doing this?"

"I don't know." Clarke frowned.

"Well, you had thought I'd 'done it'." Bellamy pointed out.

"Did you think I had?" She asked.

"Well, maybe a little…" He admitted.

Clarke considered this. "I'd rather be in the home run category, I think, than no bases." She decided, "Shows that people at least think I'm interesting or enticing enough to get some."

"What a funny way to look at the world. Dessert?" He asked, taking out two popsicles.

"My god, I haven't had these since I was little." Clarke laughed, nodding.

"I remember. We got them on your eighth birthday. It was the first time I'd tried them either."

"Yeah…lordy, we've known each other a long time." She mused, leaning back into him, watching earth outside of them.

"Yeah, I suppose we have."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mean, yeah, looking back on it now...these two have been 'engaged/promised to each other' (unknowingly) for a dang long time...XD
> 
> So, in case you're totally like 'wtf are bases' or 'what are they exactly' (Because I do know that they differ from person to person) i used this chart I found on-where else- but UrbanDictonary dot com. I think it's particularly thorough, and although MOST of these I didn't talk about within the story, it's interesting none the less (and who knows? It might show up later!) I like to think the teens of the Ark are pretty much exactly how the teens of today are...
> 
> Going up to bat: Attempting  
> Bullpen: Foreplay  
> 1st base: French kissing  
> 2nd base: Above the waist  
> 3rd base: Below the waist  
> Home Run: Sex  
> Grand Slam: Four times in twelve hours  
> Foul Ball: Ass sex  
> Strike out: Not getting it up  
> Line Drive: One night stand  
> 10 Run Rule: Finishing on your own  
> Pop fly: Stealing virginity  
> Bunt: Pre-mature ejaculation  
> Gapper: Easy lay  
> Bases loaded: Threesome  
> Third base coach: The person who's filmming  
> Stealing bases: Rape (rape is bad)  
> Double/Triple play: Multiple Orgasms  
> Cup: condom  
> Steroids: Birth control  
> Error: No Orgasm  
> Broken Bat: Broken dick  
> Extra Innings: Four times in a row  
> Bench Warmer: Peeping Tom  
> Bat boy: Fluffer  
> Field: Heartshaped bed  
> Dugout: Back seat of a car
> 
> So there you have it! More about the sexual terms of baseball than you ever likely wanted to know...Next week I might be late to update (until Friday) because next Thursday is my 21st birthday (whoot woot) and my mom is coming down to celebrate with me (totally sad, I don't have any of age friends yet...sigh, I'm the adult in my friend group) and who knows where then night will go! Actually, it won't go that far. I'm not a HUGE fan of drinking other than a nice glass of wine...


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, I am SO SORRY for the late update. It's been a busy couple of days...on Thursday, when I usually update, was my 21st birthday (woo drinking) but I happened to get really sick but I was goddamn determined to have a good time...so I got really drunk while I was really sick and yeah. I'm sure you can guess the rest of it. Then I pretty much slept through all of Friday and most of today, which is why the update is so late XD
> 
> This chapter answers the question people have been asking about a certain event that sends a certain number of people down to the earth...

11 Years after Start of the Project

Clarke opens one eye and listens carefully before she leaves the bedroom. It's morning and she knows she'll be late for (admittedly rather useless) rounds, and while she wouldn't mind a reason to skip it, she doesn't want to let anyone know why she was late. That would be worse.

There are no sounds in the living room, which is a good sign. She slowly creeps out of bed, throws on some clothes, and grabs her backpack before she intrudes on something she was never meant to hear.

Her parents have been fighting, like a lot lately. It's been getting worse and worse as time passes. She can never hear exactly what it's about, but it's something they haven't come to a conclusion on how to fix yet, and this scares her. What scares her more is the constant state of disappointment both are in with each other.

Clarke once walked in on a fight, it didn't go well.

She thinks, sometimes, maybe she'll just listen in. She's horribly curious, as is expected. But then again, maybe it's something she doesn't want to know at all. Maybe it wouldn't make things better if she knew why they were fighting because it's something that they can't get over. And then what?

She contemplates her parents' relationships a lot. They used to fight over stupid minor things when she was a kid; her dad let her ride her skateboard in the halls and she got a cut, her mom let her have an extra piece of cake while she was sick even though she bared it up, her dad forgot to leave the toilet seat down yet again, her mom worked late and forgot to tell him. It was minor things like that where they'd spend the day sulking around each other and eventually kiss and make up.

But now?

Now, it's all different and Clarke is terrified by what this change means.

Her dad loves Clarke, her mom loves Clarke…this much is obvious. Her parents' love toward her is infinite, like the stars outside the Ark. They would throw down their lives for their daughter; Clarke knows this. She's sure once, years and years ago, they loved each other this passionately too. She once imagined that there was no greater couple than her parents, as every child really hopes.

She's less sure of that now.

Maybe their love for each other had an expiration date and now they're picking fights. Maybe they both realized that this was something neither would budge on, whatever this fight is, and now it's the 'what now' answer that leaves them both miserable. Whatever it is, Clarke wonders if two people can be right for each other at one time, and wrong at the other.

She doesn't think Bellamy could ever be wrong for her. He's steadfast, consistent. They're opposite in a lot of ways, but never to the extreme her mother and father were.

Clarke can't tell her parents this. It would only add to their misery. As much as Clarke wants them to just goddmamn figure it out and start being happy again, she also doesn't want them to continue denying what might be the inevitable…they're no longer perfect for each other. If they'd be happier apart who is she to deny them of such happiness? She really hopes they're not forcing each other together for her sake.

Divorce isn't uncommon on the Ark, it happens. It's not as abundant as it might have been on Earth, but people usually don't judge. It's too small of a world, she supposes. But perhaps it would be too scandalous for a Councilwoman/Chief of Medicine and Chief of Environmental Engineering to split. What would that say, she supposed?

Bellamy has obviously noticed her thoughts slipping back to her parents, ever since it started about two months ago. She's not sure how to tell him. It feels selfish, to complain about her two parents that are still-at the moment-here while he as only one and never knew the other.

Clarke could almost pinpoint the day it had begun; her, her father, Jaha, Wells, Bree, and Bellamy were watching a soccer match from give or take 100 years back. Clarke knew how it would end, as did her father, but the rest of the participants were screaming for whatever team they preferred.

Her mother came in, kissed her father on the cheek. They were happy then, before that moment. She said that Bennet- the guy directly underneath her father- had a 'systems analysis' that her father has asked for. Being the chief of Resources and Chief of Environmental Engineering rarely had crisis, so most things could wait. This, apparently, could not as her father left immediately. Clarke knew it was weird, and so did her mother. That moment is when it really began.

She returned that night to hear her parents arguing at the door. Their words were muffled. It was one of the worst fights she'd heard. Bellamy looked properly embarrassed, returning from their date to hear this.

"I take it this is what's been bothering you?" He rasped.

"Yeah, a little." She said, trying not to let on that it was really, really bugging her.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?" Bellamy questioned, touching her arm gently.

"Yeah, of course. I just…I'm not sure how I feel about this." She waved her hand weakly toward the door, "I guess you're lucky. You never had to realize you're parents don't love each other anymore."

"I'm sure that's not it." Bellamy said, and Clarke's whole expression fell.

"But it is. The fighting…it's so shitty. And my mom, she's been confiding in Kane a lot lately." Clarke said angrily.

"So, he's a friend. A councilmember, if I recall." Bellamy frowned in confusion.

"She hates him." Clarke said, "Like really hates him. His name is like a swear word in our house. Suddenly, she's telling him all these things."

Clarke looks at Bellamy, impulsive, fired up. She grabs the handle to her door before Bellamy can stop her.

"If you do this, I won't be able to stop you." Abby says as Clarke opens the door. Bellamy moans behind his hand as both her parents stop, staring at her with wide eyes.

"Clarke…" Her father says carefully.

"Stop what?" Clarke frowns, eyes tearing up. She's about ready to not care, to ask, to say everything she's been feeling or not feeling.

"It's nothing you should worry yourself about." Abby assures quietly, and notices Bellamy, "Are you staying for dinner, Bellamy?" She asks.

"Uh….sure?"

"Good, you can take my place."

"Where are you going, Abby?" Jake has a hard tone in his voice, something that's deeper than just a question.

"Just to clear my head on a walk. You promise, Jake?" She asks, turning around, "Really promise?" There's a question there that Clarke doesn't know, but her father does. He looks at Clarke, and he hangs his head.

"Yeah." He says quietly, defeated. Her whole mother's body shudders in relief and she lets out a long sigh. Clarke and her mother have known her father well enough to be able to tell when he's agreeing to placate her, and this isn't one of those times. He's sincere in whatever he's promising. If her mother was about to go out angry and do something rash, something Clarke had been known to do, she isn't anymore.

"Good. I just want to walk around, still. Maybe I'll go by Callie's house." She says warmly, her anger ebbing away toward her father, and fear too, now that Clarke has had time to recognize it. Whatever she was afraid of, she isn't anymore.

"That's a good plan. You haven't been able to talk to her in ages." Her father agreed, "I'm going to get dinner started. Sure you don't want anything?"

"Maybe, save me some." She agrees.

Dinner is quiet, Bellamy trying not to overstep any lines and kicking Clarke to keep her from asking something really stupid. Clarke is doing her best to not blurt out a question her father will get mad about and is glad Bellamy is there to kick her shin when she opens her mouth.

"Clarke, Bellamy," Her father suddenly says, "Between the two of you, you know pretty much all the kids on the Ark, right?"

"Yeah, likely." Clarke said and Bellamy nodded in agreement.

"Well, who's the smartest? Really, someone or some group of kids that if you needed to fix something really important, you'd go to them."

Clarke and Bellamy exchanged looks.

"This has something to do about the fight." Clarke deduced quietly, "That you and mom have been having."

"Clarke…" Her father's tone was a warning, "Just…who?"

"Raven." Clarke and Bellamy answered in unison.

"Raven Reyes…" Her father was rubbing his chin.

"Oh, Jasper too. Monty as well." Clarke added.

"Are you just saying that because they are basically a package deal?" Her father asked, chuckling.

"No, those two really are the next two most intelligent kids I know. They compliment each other, fill in what the other doesn't know."

Her father nodded, pushing around his peas. "Thanks."

Two days later, Raven jumped up to sit on the table ledge, legs swinging over the end right in Clarke's face.

"So…do you know what this secret project your dad wants me to work on is?" She asks.

"No clue." Clarke says, "But it's something big. My mom and dad have been fighting about it non stop." Clarke bites the end of her pencil.

"Coolio. Not about the fighting, about it being big." Raven says, grinning. It's times like this the mad scientist in her best friend really started coming out, "I figured it's big. It was big enough to get me cleared from work for the next two months and Japer and Monty out of rounds. That has to be big. I'm excited."

"I hope you can fix whatever's wrong." Clarke is less enthused, "I think the Ark might depend on it."

"You're so dramatic, Griffin." Raven ruffles her hair, "Seriously, not everything is life or death." She chuckles hopping away, "Bye! Maybe I'll get to blow something up!"

The next day, Raven is significantly more sullen.

"Hey, did you get to blow something up?" Clarke asks, still happy. Raven moaned into her hands, hitting her head on the table.

"I hate it when you're right." She mutters.

"About what? Life and death?" Clarke is still mostly joking now, but the look Raven gives her is confirmation enough. She had a feeling, a really awful one.

"Well…what is it?" Clarke asks softly, her voice shaking.

"Can't tell you." Raven seems pained, "It was a big ordeal…me, Jasper, Monty…we had to sign something and the chancellor was there. If we tell anyone, we're floated. Well, Monty and Jasper go to Skybox and then they're floated." She said softly, twiddling her thumbs.

Clarke was shocked.

"Well…you can fix it, the problem, right?" Clarke asked weakly. Raven looked at her, such an angry and pained look in her eyes that Clarke was sorry she ever offered her friend up in the first place. Knowledge was pain.

"We have to, otherwise I suppose the contract doesn't really matter." She got up, "I should go…I need to do some calculations for this…like yesterday."

Clarke bit the inside of her cheek. She wished she could know what was going on, but knew why she couldn't. It ate her, and Bellamy once she told him, away for weeks to come.

They all figured Jasper would slip up once, say something he wasn't supposed to, and they could deduce it from there…but he was the most tightlipped about it and yet the most optimistic.

"I know we can fix it. We're simply the best. Not being arrogant, just truthful. I guess I have to think that, because if we can't fix it, man we're really in the shithole then." That was the most he said about it. Monty just never said anything about it.

To get her mind off it, she spends a lot of time with Bellamy. One of these times is down to the SkyBox with Bellamy, who said it would be his last time going.

She's never been here before, despite it being right under her nose the entire time. It's literally steps away from her station, and she's closer than most Alpha residents, but she's never had reason or been able to visit.

"Sergeant Blake." A guardsmen salutes as he enters, "And…Miss Griffin?" Clarke is still getting used to him being 'sergeant' now, after years of him being Cadet Blake.

"My plus one today." Bellamy says, using his thumbprint to sign in. He motions for Clarke to do the same.

"We're going to miss you around here, now that you've moved on…" The guy sighs. In two weeks is the end of the season, and Bellamy will become a full-fledged teacher. Up until this point, Clarke knew he had insisted on keeping his shifts at the Sky Box, "It's not often we get good guys. We just get psychos that think this is an opportunity to push people around without consequence."

"I'm sorry to be leaving too…I hope to be replacing myself with someone good though, soon." He assures.

Clarke steps into the dingy halls. She imagines that this is where Monty and Jasper could end up if either of them says something wrong about this 'project' they've been losing sleep over.

The entire place is just depressing.

People call out to her through the bars in lewd manners, and she sees Bellamy's fingers grip the nightstick protectively. She rolls her eyes and ignores them. They're just looking for a rise out of a guardsman, of course.

"What is it that you do here?" She asks quietly.

"Feeding time. Wanna help?" he asks, "You can help me sort the plates."

She's led to a small supply room where there are nearly expired boxes and already expired fruits. It's not good food, that's for sure. There are nearly 90 trays stacked up, all with names taped to the side of them. Some have notes on them, like Prisoner 212 (or Mbege comma John) was allergic to nuts.

"At least they're nice enough to write this." She comments dryly.

"Ah, well, they're not trying to kill them…yet." Bellamy's voice is just as dry.

They make quick work of putting the trays together, and then putting them onto six different carts, one for each floor of the Sky Box.

"You take these three, I'll take those three." Bellamy says, "The quicker we get this done, the more time we have back at your place." He says with a smirk, pulling her body close to his with a clear intention. Clarke giggles, and whacks him on his arm.

"Am I going to get in trouble for doing this?"

"Unlikely. Hardly anyone wants to work the Sky Box, so it's always understaffed. Those of us with feelings feel bad for these kids, and so we're pretty lax with most of the ones that just fucked up once. So, there will be a little place to slide the food through on the bottom of each cage. For your safety, use the stick here to poke it in…don't want someone grabbing your arm. For those in solitary, push the food in, then press the green button to let their inner door open. They'll come get it." He said.

"Okay…I got it." She said, "See you after this."

He gave her a quick peck on the cheek, nodding and left to do his own work.

Clarke made a point to look into the faces of everyone she served food to. On a chalkboard next to the cages there was the person's name, crime, and date they turned 18. She was shocked to see how many children under the age of 10 were imprisoned, but a little pleased to see that some were allowed things like nice pillows or favorite stuffed animals. Many of the kids thanked her, or asked her about what was going on outside. She saw Bellamy laughing with a couple in a casual manner, and so for those that were brave enough to talk she answered. It was easy to forget outside the walls of the Sky Box that these were merely children, not criminals, in here.

Well, not all. She did pass through several isolation chambers. She understood why people like this were locked up; kids nearing adulthood with crimes like rape, murder, and torturing of other citizens. She didn't want to look at any of their faces and resisted the urge to spit in their food at each one.

One of the last isolation chambers she reached was unlike the others. The chart read-

Charlotte Dibdin

Illegal Child

August 1st, 2154

Clarke's first thought was that it could be Octavia's name there, in another much worse life. Her second was that this was Simon's sister, the person who stabbed Bellamy and yet he cried that she was locked up, that she'd never actually seen.

This was the one person that she waited to see the face of when she pressed the button. She noticed Bellamy had put extra fruit on there and a little glob of peanut butter from his own house, since no one else got that. She realized he favored her. Maybe he felt responsible.

Charlotte came from the darkness quietly. Clarke let out a quiet sound as she stepped into the light. It was Simon, but female, weaker looking.

"You're not Bellamy." Charlotte said, perturbed, "Bellamy always comes on Wednesdays."

"I'm Clarke." Clarke lowered herself to the floor, "I'm dating Bell." She said softly, looking at the tiny twelve year old who seemed more about 10 or nine. It was hard to imagine this tiny thing could have ever stabbed Bellamy. With what? Cuteness?

"Why are you in isolation?" Clarke asked, frowning.

"I'm different." Charlotte answered honestly, "They're all legal, and I'm not. Things that are different scare the council and I'm hard to understand." She answered wisely.

"Yes, that sounds like the council." Clarke agreed.

"Peanut butter!" The little girl's face lit up as she noticed it.

"From Bellamy?" Clarke asked.

"From Simon…" Charlotte answered, "It's always been my favorite. He's still trying to care for me, that idiot." She sighed, "He probably gave it to Bellamy to give to me." She answered Clarke's next question.

"Do you…see him?" Clarke asked.

"I was supposed to be put up for possible visiting this year," Charlotte said, rubbing her finger over the peanut butter to get it all, "But I still scare them so they put another two year wait on it."

"I'm so sorry." Clarke's eyebrows knit.

"Yeah, whatever." Charlotte seemed less upset than Clarke thought she'd be about it, "I'll see him again. Bellamy promises me." She looked at Clarke's full cart, "Other people are probably hungry you know. I'll be fine…you can leave me."

"Are you sure?" Clarke asked, "How often do you actually get to talk to another human?"

"Wednesdays, when Bellamy comes. But it's fine; I don't mind the loneliness. I get books this year." Her face lit up, "Do you have a favorite book, Clarke?"

"The Giver is a good one." Clarke said, standing, "Or…Harry Potter series."

"Simon liked the Harry Potter series. I've never read the Giver. I'll read it if I get it on my pad." She said, "Bye Clarke!"

The rest of the handouts went quickly after that. Bellamy intersected her for a moment, telling her she could chill in the food prep room while he took care of some paperwork like things and he'd be back with trays later. He decided to do the pick up himself since that was a bit harder as one had to make sure no one was attempting to keep any objects.

She was deep in thought; thinking of all she'd seen anyway, so it was a good thing Bellamy handled that.

True to his word, he came back half an hour later, wheeling in the carts with emptied plates.

"Compost things here, recycle things here, trash bin here…you get the idea. Stack plates in numbered order. Utensils in this tray." He said, holding up a bin. Clarke nodded and they set to work. She noticed that he specifically went to Charlotte's tray and she didn't miss that he slipped something from under it into his pocket.

"You're ferrying notes between Charlotte and Simon." Clarke said bluntly. Bellamy hadn't been attempting to obscure his actions, but he still seemed surprised Clarke noticed.

"Yeah. I think it keeps them both sane." He said.

Clarke nodded thoughtfully, "I think you're doing a good thing. What will you do now that you're leaving though?" She asked. He let out a long breath.

"I don't know. I'll figure it out." He said, "What did you think of her?" He asked quietly, clearly anxious to hear her opinion. She got the feeling he thought very highly of the girl or he felt protective toward her.

"She's clever, perceptive, more subdued now." Clarke decided, thinking back to her small face, "If the Ark saw this person instead of the one that stabbed you, they would no doubt find her to be a member of society that they want." She said.

"I'm hoping that stays true." Bellamy agreed, "She has to be pardoned at 18 or else I'll…" He frowned, sighing.

"I was surprised to see so many children under ten here." Clarke offered up, diverting the subject.

"Yeah," He rubbed the back of his neck, "It's a slippery slope, you know? Kids so young sometimes haven't learned the difference between right and wrong, but we can't make exceptions or else we'd have to give everyone an exception. Good thing is that it's rare they're floated at 18 because they are just kids and they did act out of stupidity or ignorance. It's harder to defend your actions when you get older, try to convince the council that a kid thrown in here at 16 who knocked a guard unconscious while stealing isn't going to be a future threat."

"That's good, I guess. Except the whole, you know, loss of childhood." Clarke said bitterly.

"They usually also get better treatment. Games, a holopad sometimes, decent beds…" He began, but Clarke gave him a dark look, "Of course they'd be better out there, but I'm just pointing out that we don't try to be monsters."

"I know…" Clarke went through the cells she'd seen, "Bellamy?"

"Hmm?" He said, looking up from clearing off trays.

"There's familiar last names in there…Edl, Woodley, Bogdanovic, and Trebenski…are they related to our kids with those last names? Do people like Benny or Atom know kids in here?"

Bellamy shook his head, "Unlikely, or I'm sure one of them would have brought it up to me now. It's just last names from when the Ark didn't have the 1 kid rule and parents had multiple kids to split the family name. It's uncommon now, but it still happens."

"I figured. Just gave me little heart attacks when I saw those names." She said. Bellamy gave an understanding smile.

"Yeah, it would be awful to have any one of them end up here. We've had some close calls." He admitted.

"Too close." Clarke agreed.

They finished their job quickly and signed out. Clarke thought about her visit to the Sky Box for many days afterwards. It had been eye-opening to say the least.

About a week after that, she entered her house and padded into the kitchen for a glass of water. She was greeted with the entire counter top filled with food.

"Stars, dad! Are we feeding the entire guard?" She asked, seeing her father leaning over a steak.

"Clarke!" He said, and then looked back at his ensemble of food, laughing, "No, no." He seemed to be in a much happier mood than he had in a long time.

"Then what's up?"

"Well, it's a celebration. When I ran into Bellamy to invite him tonight, and told him what it was for, he said I better buy a lot of food because Jasper eats for himself and three invisible people." He said.

"Ah, well, yeah. Jasper could eat you out of house and home. Raven too if you challenge her… I'm assuming she's invited, with Monty, because you guys made a breakthrough on whatever the hell you're working on?"

"Not just a breakthrough, a solution!" He said, stirring a sauce and holding it out to Clarke to taste, "We fixed the problem for at least another fifteen, maybe twenty years!"

"Not forever?" Clarke raised an eyebrow, "And can you tell me what it is."

"It was never forever. This time we have now is really all we need. Now, want to help me finish this?"

She sighed. He still hadn't answered her question. Clarke nodded, rolling up her sleeves, "Sure dad. What do you need me to do?"

That night, the Griffin house was filled with smiles and sighs of relief all around. Her mother and father seemed more at ease with each other than they had in a long time. Clarke and Bellamy got to enjoy a great meal with Raven, Monty, and Jasper. Murphy arrived as Raven's 'plus one', and it was fine since Jake had food left over for even if Jasper ate to his heart's desire. Jaha and Wells were invited too, because obviously Clarke hoped Jaha was aware of what they'd been doing.

"A toast!" Jake raised his glass, "To Raven, Monty, and Jasper…the three goddamn smartest kids I've ever met. If you weren't around…who knows where we'd be now."

"Agreed." Jaha said, standing, "Of course, the Ark will never truly know the instrumental part you've given to saving it's life, at least at the moment. I know not all of you know," He nodded to his own son, Clarke, Bellamy, and Murphy, "And even if we wish not to share the finer details yet, be very proud of your friends. They managed to do what no seasoned Ark member could."

"Aww, thanks, man." Jasper said, "You're making me blush."

Jaha gave a quirked smile of amusement; "You are in my debt forever. If you ever require anything, need anything, I am at your service." He said, giving a bow.

Monty's eyes widened and Raven nodded back. This was a huge honor. Jasper fist-pumped, a little less subtle about his excitement.

"So what now?" Clarke asked them, "Going back to your boring lives and boring jobs filled with zero stress?" She teased.

"Almost…I mean, I still really want to pass my Zero-G mechanic's test within the next couple years, but I might have a side job…" Raven looked at her two work-mates for the past couple months.

"Yeah, not completely." Monty said, looking at Jaha for permission, "We've been asked to stay on…as a consulting job for the secondary part of what this job entailed…" He said, "I know that sounds like a whole lot of nothing, but it's actually quite the new project we're working on."

"Classified?" Murphy rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, but trust me…this one is beyond exciting. You literally couldn't guess it if we gave you the chance." Jasper said, cracking his knuckles.

"Will we ever find out?" Bellamy said, shifting in his seat. Clarke knew it was bothering him he didn't know what was going on.

"One day. Maybe like seven years from now." Raven assured with a snigger. Bellamy sighed, rolling his eyes.

"Gee, something to look forward to. Only seven years away."

"Yeah, you know in scientist time, that's like instant." Monty pointed out.

"If only we were all scientists then, because seven years is a long ass time, Green." Murphy replied, "Now I'm all curious. Damn you all."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, in my version of this timeline, I've just...delayed the earth problems and the air concern as such. They're still going down to the earth, of course, but just not now. Because let's be honest, if Raven, Monty, and Jasper were on the case it totally would have been handled better XD
> 
> Also, my life is pretty much complete. There's pictures cropping up everwhere of Tom Felton and Bob Morely hanging out together being best buds. Literally my two favorite people of all time (Tom Felton especially, he's my bday buddy!) I just can't even express to you how much I screamed when I saw those pictures! I mean, let me put it to you like this: my three OTPs that have never changed and likely never will change are Dramione, Bellarke, and Zutara...and two thirds of the men of my OTP are friends in real life. God is real. Life is good XD
> 
> Remember to leave a review!


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so I decided to upload this Friday instead of Thursday because I uploaded the last chapter so late, so I wanted to allow readers a little extra time. The next chapter will continue on time.

12 Years after Start of Program

"Clarke, can you take this blood and run it to the lab? And then wait until it's done?" Clarke looked up, put on a fake sweet smile and nodded.

"Of course, Neil. What ever else would I be doing right now other than filling out your paperwork requests?" She said, trying not to let her tone be overly sarcastic. Even if he picked up on it, her co-worker gave her thumbs up and went back to what he was doing.

"Clarke, do you have my history for the patient in room 8?" Another doctor paused her as she began to leave.

"You know you can just look it up yourself with like two clicks on the pad, right?" She groaned in frustration.

"Well, sure. But it's more fun and time efficient to have the newbies do it." The doctor replied, blinking blankly at Clarke.

"Time efficient how?" Clarke fired back, and then grumbled, "It's sitting on the table."

"Thanks Clarke." The second doctor patted her back as she went on to treat her patient.

She was nearly out the door with the blood of Neil's patient when- "Clarke are you going out?" She looked up to see Brad getting up from where he sat.

"No."

"Good, because while you're out, I need you to take care of these medications from the Farm station. Also, go check on Mrs. Brooks. She was released yesterday but she was still a little ill. Make sure she's taking her medication and all."

"Brad, these are lackey's jobs." Clarke growled in anger, "Like an assistant. I'm not that! I'm here to become a doctor." She felt safe fighting back with Brad only because she knew him more personally than other doctors here.

"And you will…duh." Brad said, "But this is what every new recruit here does. I had to do it." He pointed out. He punched Keshawn, who was working near him.

"Yeah, me too." Keshawn agreed, going back to his patient he was dealing with.

"See?" Brad raised his eyebrow.

"Then why is Elizabeth over there helping Jackson put an IV in?" Clarke demanded.

"Because she, unlike you, doesn't know how to do it." Keshawn said irritably, "I don't get why this bothers you so much."

"Because I'm above this." Clarke said, "I don't mean to sound bratty, but you both know that I'm at least as good as the doctors who started three years ago, if not better."

"In all confidence, Clarke, everyone knows that. It's why people single you out to do their grunt work. They're jealous. They want to pretend like you're not a medical prodigy and they have some semblance of skill within them." He sniffed, "They're doing it because you're too good." He said.

Clarke frowned, "Wow…that was actually nice of you, Brad."

"I'm not an ass all the time. Geeze…" He rolled his eyes, "But hey, don't forget to do what I asked you while you're out. Any jobs for her Keshawn?"

"No." Keshawn grumped, annoyed to be continually interrupted, "Just let her get on before someone asks her to go get coffee for them…everyone will want something then."

"Coffee?" One of the nurses across the room perked up, "Did I hear coffee?"

Clarke practically ran out of the room before she could be summoned to bring the entire working Doctor's team the pick-me-up beverage.

She'd been working here for three months. She'd been so eager to start diagnosing people, helping them, figuring out the clues to what was the matter with them. She'd been elated at the idea of stitching up wounds, poking her finger in bloody stuff, and helping new mothers deliver their only child. Instead, she was doing chores like an errand boy.

It was humiliating.

Her mother wasn't much help. She'd pretty much said what Keshawn and Brad had told her…it was normal for the new doctors. She obviously knew Clarke was gifted, but she claimed she couldn't show favoritism. In life or death situations, though, Clarke thought that her mother would want the best with her? Apparently, not.

She figured it would ease away soon enough; that the novelty of making the Alpha Princess sort old files would quickly lose the humor it must held. She held her tongue for the first two months. Now on the third she wasn't going to stay so quiet.

She finished her first two things quickly; dropping off blood to be tested never took long (and she was now on a first name basis with the guy that was always working there, and that helped) and Mrs. Brooks had a son that was watching her carefully, so there was little need to worry.

She was on her way to the Farm station, glancing at the list of things written on the pad, when a closet door opened suddenly. An arm reached out and yanked her in and closed the door in a second's time.

She squinted in the darkness, trying to see.

"Bellamy?" She questioned, seeing a tall lanky figure in front of her.

"Of course it's me! Do you have other men dragging you into closets?" He sounded almost offended.

"Do you make a point of lurking in closets?" Clarke replied back, to which he merely chuckled.

"Ah, not always. But they are extremely convenient." He said.

"For what?" Her eyes had adjusted slightly more and she saw he was in his guard's uniform.

"This, of course." He replied, grabbing her waist and pushing her against a wall of the closet, lips greedily on hers and his fingers squeezing her waist. One of his legs slipped between her thighs, pressing up against her.

Clarke went along with it for a second, until she paused, pulling back. Bellamy gave a sound of displeasure.

"What are you doing? Aren't you supposed to be working right now?" She motioned to his guard's office, "And seriously, do you just wait in random closets hoping I'll walk by?"

"No." He scoffed, "Brad uploaded the request to for the drugs to the data base, since we keep that stuff on record too in case the Farm Drug station tries to claim someone stole stuff, and since I know everyone loves to pick on you, it would be you walking by this way soon." He said logically.

"And work?"

"I made the cadets go on a puzzle-scavenger hunt around the Ark today. For ingenuity…or something. Anyway, they're supposed to buzz me when they've finished, and no one has. If they were smart, at least one would have already buzzed me. Since they're not, it won't be any time soon they finish, so I know I have at least two hours."

"Wow, a whole elaborate plot to get with me in a closet. How romantic." Clarke scoffed.

"Awe, c'mon. I hardly see you." He said, pouting. He wasn't wrong. Their schedules were now directly opposite each other, most days at least. When they weren't, they obviously couldn't get any privacy at Bellamy's house (he had told her repeatedly his mother worked from home and she got easily mad, best not to risk it) and it seemed that now her parents were always inexplicably homes at the time she wanted to be alone with her boyfriend. They hadn't had time to make out at all in like two weeks.

"You're sure you have two hours?" She asked.

"I don't plan to keep you that long, sadly." Bellamy gave a long sigh, "Someone will notice you've taken an exceptionally long time to do some simple tasks. But I do plan to keep you here for a bit."

"How do you know no one will come by here for extra cleaning supplies?" She asked.

"Well, first off, this is a guard closet…so, secondly, I know exactly when people should be coming in here. Perks of this." He tapped his holopad.

"I would remind you again about abusing that power…but at the same time I don't really care." She said, grabbing him by his shirt and pulling him back over her.

They were just starting to get somewhere, Bellamy's fingers were pushing up her shirt little by little as he grew the courage to have her take it off all together and Clarke was beginning to consider doing it herself, when the door swung open.

"Aw, fuck. Get a room…a real one."

"Murphy…" Bellamy groaned, sliding away from Clarke as Murphy bent over, making retching sounds.

"What are you doing here?" Clarke snapped, shoving her shirt back down.

"Yeah." Bellamy agreed, "What are you doing here…" He took out his pad, wondering how he could have missed that someone was due to come to the closet…

"Wait, so do you two have sex in closets often?"

"We weren't having sex!" Clarke objected, hissing it under her breath.

"If we were, why'd you care?" Bellamy stood in front of Clarke, slightly protectively. She shoved him to the side, glowering at Murphy.

"I want to know so that I can knock next time…stars!"

"You still didn't answer my question, Cadet Murphy." Bellamy said, lowering his voice and pulling his rank.

"New helmet." Murphy answered, holding up his old one, which had a massive crack on it, "Said it would take days to repair…sent me to that closet to get a new one."

"Oh." Bellamy mumbled, obviously as this was a scenario he couldn't have foreseen.

"Let me just…" Murphy slid between them, grabbing his size of a shelf behind them, "Yep…thanks." He looked back, about to say something, but perhaps thought better of it and merely shook his head, walking away.

"I should continue on." Clarke sighed, "They'll notice if I'm gone any longer. Maybe his interruption wasn't too bad for timing." She said.

"I guess." Bellamy scowled, "I'll see you tonight, maybe?"

"Yeah, hopefully." Clarke leaned up to kiss him, "Do you think Murphy will…tell anyone?" She asked cautiously. She didn't want the rumor that she had sex in closets getting back to her parents, even if that's not what had been happening at all.

"I'll make sure he doesn't. Maybe bring it up to Raven, though. She's always known how to talk logically to him. And, she'll tease you mercilessly, but always in private." He pointed out.

Clarke agreed, waving at him goodbye, and finished her jobs quickly. No one seemed to care if she'd been gone longer than expected, and in fact someone said something to the effect of 'wow, you get things done quickly'. She could have spent more time with Bellamy, she realized angrily.

The doctors on mostly out of mindless jobs to give her, plus the fact her mother had just strolled in, gave her the job of checking up on a few of the longer-term patients in here, such as those recovering from surgeries or having treatment for long-term illnesses. She ran her arm under the scanner to the closed off room, and spent the rest of her shift writing messages to give to family members, fetching glasses of water or extra pillows, or enjoying herself by catching up with a few patients she found pleasant.

As she was removing a holopad from a patient's limp hands to set next to them on the nightstand so they could sleep more comfortably, a name caught her eye.

She paused, glancing back down at the pad and realized it was a page for the obituaries. Marv Bannon.

She frowned, unable to recall why it was familiar. It wasn't a name that was familiar in the sense that she'd read it while flipping through patient files, but that it had once held a more significant meaning to her. Maybe not all that significant because she was drawing a blank on whom this was, and his obituary was fairly short, described his station and his parents and that had died last night at the age of 18. Not much else was said.

She didn't know why this was bothering her so much. She packed up and went home, and as much as she tried to convince herself the guy was someone insignificant, her subconscious won't let it go, constantly running through different faces, trying desperately to connect it. Perhaps it was a lot of things, like the fact that his death was so quietly announced. It didn't' say how he died, and barely had anything about what sort of kid he was.

Bellamy did manage to make it back over to her house for a quiet interlude between teaching, and Clarke was still running thoughts around Marv.

"Marv Bannon." Bellamy's face darkened instantly when he heard the name, "He was in lock-up. Talked to him most days. I thought for sure he'd be let out..but…" He looked down, unable to finish.

"Why was he in there?" Clarke asked quietly.

"I'm not sure. His label said 'stealing'. He swore up and down he never did, though. Most kids…they eventually come to terms with their imprisonment, get honest about what they did. He always told me it was something bigger, but he couldn't say. And kids usually are let free at 18, or earlier, if it was just stealing. I guess that concretes it. Whatever it was…it must have been bad." Bellamy said, considering it.

"Jovana!" Clarke said suddenly, her mind making the connection it had been working at all night, "That's why…wasn't she upset because a friend of hers named Marv got put there like forever ago?" She asked.

"Stars…you're right." Bellamy said, eyes widening, "I'd forgotten by the time I took that job. I wonder how she's holding up." He added a second later, looking deflated.

"Probably shitty."

Bellamy gave a grave nod. He licked his lips, thinking.

"You know, Marv was in there 7 years. He had some personal belongings. Usually, it takes three or four days to process someone's stuff after they're floated. I can't go, I'm too busy, but you could go today and collect it. Give to Jo and his parents. I'm sure they'd like that."

"And the other guards won't care if I just steal what they'd probably sell back?" She questioned, "Wouldn't they notice me walking out with a mountain of stuff?"

"They'll turn a blind eye. I used to, and I learned from seeing other guards do it. He was there 7 years. I'd say probably every guard knows him personally. They won't say a thing. I'll tell them you're coming over…when?"

"Now. I can go now." Clarke said decisively, glad to be put on a mission to avert her thoughts of his awful death. She was tired after her shift but she couldn't imagine not going there. No wonder they hadn't said how he'd died, they'd floated him. And of course there wasn't much about his childhood; he'd spent it entirely in lock up.

Bellamy gave her the thumbs up before he left, and Clarke wrote a swift note to her parents.

The guard on duty recognized her from last year, and gave her a quiet smile.

Bellamy had written Marv's cell number on her hand, and she found it quickly. The door was thrown open, his name and number hastily smeared away, but some remnants of the chalk still remained on the board.

His cell was…lived in.

She collected everything she could that wasn't standard prison issue. She had brought along her own pillowcase for the task. It felt so odd going through his things, like she didn't belong her. She kept having to remind herself firmly that Marv wasn't coming back, and that very thought made her want to vomit.

He was only a year older than her. Thoughts like that really sobered and grounded a person.

There was a stuffed animal, worn away, and handmade. Perhaps he'd brought it in with him at the young age of 11? There were notes from his parents; he'd kept every single one of them. He had a blanket with his named stitched on it, and she recognized Aurora Blake's handiwork. There was a holopicture leaned against the wall of him with Jovana, hardly older than 7 with a heart necklace curled around it. Inside was a little note in her handwriting, but Clarke didn't take the time to read it. There were some things to leave to the dead and this was one of them.

She finished clearing it all out, and left, looking back one last time, trying to imagine that just two days ago Marv sat against that bed, reading a book or looking at the locket. Did he know he was going to be floated? Did he think there was a possibility he'd get out? Which one was more heartbreaking to imagine?

At the door, the guard stopped her.

"Hey, sorry. Can you write down where you were? Won't get in trouble, we don't care if you take that stuff, but just so the cameras match up in case anyone ever looks."

"Oh, yeah, of course. Sorry."

Clarke nodded, flipping in the little book to the page for Marv. Over the years he'd had many visits from both his parents and Jovana, but it was the name right before her own that made her pause.

Wells had visited Marv's cell a day before he'd been floated.

She was sure they didn't know each other, and he'd never visited before ever.

She finished and signed her name, and nodded absentmindedly to the guard.

Her feet knew where she was going before her mind caught up to her, outside of Wells' door.

"Wells! Open up! You have some answering to do." She said, buzzing the ringer incessantly. Half-way through her eight ring, Wells opened the door.

"Stars, Clarke! It's like 2 am."

She glared at him, arms across her chest, "Why did you visit Marv's cell?" She demanded, in no mood to beat around the bush.

Wells feigned innocence.

"What? Who?"

"Marv Bannon. You know him; he was that boy Jovana was crying about getting thrown years ago. I saw your name on the visit list and he was floated yesterday. What is going on, Wells?"

The inside of Wells' cheek twitched. He yanked her inside and began to pace. She only now took the time to see if anyone was home and was glad there wasn't.

"I went to see what his crime really was. I thought if he told me, I could present a better case to my father and the council. They had decided on his verdict seemingly long before his trial case ever came up." He said angrily, "I've been watching him for years." He admitted.

"Because of Jo?"

"Partly. I just remember what she was saying when he got thrown in there…that he'd found something about the Ark or about us or something." He said.

"So you didn't buy the 'stealing' either." Clarke said dryly.

"No, of course not. It went against every pre-existing idea about how they deal with children that stole at such a young age. I began to get suspicious when he didn't even have meetings at sixteen or seventeen."

"Did you ever find out?"

Wells paused for a long moment, looking pained. "No." He finally answered, but it seemed to come to slow, "Really, Clarke." He added, seeing her disbelief.

"Fine." She sighed, "I guess you have no reason to lie…and Bellamy could never get the truth out of him either." She added, "Guess it didn't do much for the council meeting then." She added quietly.

"Yeah." Wells looked like the death of Marv was his responsibility, as though he'd been the one to push the button even though he hadn't.

"You tried, at least. Jo will be happy that you tried." She pointed out.

"Or she'll be mad I failed." He countered.

They were quiet for a moment.

"Sorry I barged over here like this. I saw you visited him and I didn't know what to think." She admitted.

"Did you think I went and teased him about dying?" Wells sent her an offended look.

"No." She punched his arm, "Like I said, I didn't know what to think. I'll let you get back to sleep now." She said sheepishly, noticing he was in his night robes.

"Thanks." He replied sarcastically.

At the door, Clarke paused, frowning, "What do you think it was?" She questioned.

"Huh?" He replied, turning back around.

"Why he was in there?" She said.

"Oh, I couldn't even guess." He dismissed her question rather simply, "There could be a thousand stupid reasons."

"Do you think it was because he knew something he shouldn't? And the thought he might…tell someone?" Clarke asked.

Wells expression hardened, and he sighed. "Not everything is a conspiracy, Clarke. Maybe he was just a really bad prisoner?" He said, but she could tell he didn't even really believe his own words, any of it.

She scowled, as he wasn't in the habit of lying to her.

"Fine. Whatever." She muttered, leaving sharply, "Don't tell me then!"

"Clarke! Clarke, wait." She heard Wells calling her, but she ignored him. She wasn't sure what frightened her more…that the council had killed someone over knowing something or that Wells knew and straight up lied to her. Both situations unsettled her.

She recalled a situation that was similar to this, faintly, years ago…it was like a forgotten whisper coming back to her. She'd been so ready to believe him then, so eager to let her suspicions go because they were young and there had to be infinitely more things that perhaps he did know in comparison to her. But that was a long time ago, and they'd ceased to be children for a while now…and maybe Clarke finally knew a little better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, there are certain instances I feel are just bound to happen whatever life, in different ways, and this mirrors when Clarke had her falling out with Wells. Obviously in the show she believes it's for something much worse, but Clarke here hates lies as much as anything else so it's still a pretty big blow for her.
> 
> I hope you liked that little bit of Bellarke fluff. They're just trying to make it work the best they can right now XD
> 
> If you can't also tell, everything is starting to roll toward the marriages and finding out so rest assured that WILL be happening soon! If our characters had hindsight, this is the moment they'd look back and go 'yeah, that's when it began to start'.
> 
> Remember to review! Happy Halloween Month!


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is a day (almost two) days late but I was sick and I think I pretty much slept the last two days away...I mean, I sorta do it to myself with such a busy schedule, almost no sleep, little food, tons of stress...so...yeah. I'm hoping literally sleeping for like 18 hours will have fixed that!

12 Years after the Start of the Project

"Can't you two just apologize?" Bellamy asked, looking across the room where Wells sat.

"Bellamy, encouraging forgiveness with Wells Jaha." Clarke scoffed, "That's new."

"I just hate this, it's frustrating." He said, "You two are best friends."

"Were." She corrected, still licking her wounds, "Look, it's been two months. You don't see him apologizing any more than I do." She said firmly. Bellamy gave a defeated sigh. When Clarke Griffin decided something, it was nearly impossible to sway her otherwise, even if she was being completely bone-headed, like now.

"Why are you sure he as lying?" Bellamy asked for the umpteenth time.

"Because he was my best friend." Clarke said softly, a little more hurt than upset, "I could tell a lie from you in a second." She added, her tone growing hard again.

"Okay, he lied. He might have a good reason, you know?" Bellamy said, understanding the delicate world of secrets now that he was higher up in the world. He had learned quite a few as his time as a guard that he hadn't told Clarke, mostly because he wasn't allowed to. They weren't secrets she might want to know anyway, but they were secrets nonetheless. There were certain realities of life that needed to be kept away from the majority, or it would incite panic. Even Ana was starting to realize such things, and coming from an anarchist personality like her, this was a huge step of maturity.

The truth of the matter was there were certain ideas that not everyone was ready to hear.

"I'm one of his best friends. He can tell me." She said, "I can take it."

"He hasn't told Bree though yet, it seems, and she's not nearly as upset and I daresay she's closer to him than you are now." He pointed out.

Clarke had not so subtly questioned Bree about Wells trip to the Sky Box and she hadn't even known he'd gone. While Bree still didn't emote much, she was the sort of person that wore her heart on her sleeve. Truth, love, and integrity was easy to glean from her.

"She's madly in love with him. It's easy to sacrifice angers to keep things good between two people." She said wisely, seeing it in her mother and father still today. She wasn't totally convinced they continued to love each other, even with the great 'crisis' of last year averted.

"So are there things you've compromised with me then?" Bellamy asked, eyeing her meaningfully, "Or things you think I've done with you?" He asked.

Clarke's gaze snapped toward him.

"Do you…love me?" She asked quietly. It wasn't the situation he'd imagined telling her in, not here among all their friends in the after school room, but it did change the subject and it just slipped out, the meaning behind his question like a slimy fish that happened to land in his lap now.

Of course he loved her, he felt like he'd loved her since far too young of an age to like someone so much younger than him. Being with Clarke now only six months didn't feel like such a short time for him. He'd been with Gina much longer, but he'd never loved her. It wasn't being mean; she'd never 'loved' him either, though they still cared for each other. Truth of the matter is there had never been anyone but Clarke he loved.

She wasn't ready to hear all that, not now. One day, he imagined like a thirteen-year-old girl, maybe at their wedding.

He tried to read Clarke's face for signs of her folding back into herself, afraid of him to say that, any sign she wasn't ready. It was hard to tell right now, which was unusual for him. Out of anyone in a room, he could usually tell exactly what Clarke was thinking about. But now he was lost.

So, he cautiously took her hand, swallowing a bit, "Would it be so awful for me to say yes?" He asked quietly so no one around them could hear it.

Clarke thought for a moment, and then shook her head. He let out a sigh of relief and glee.

"But not here…don't say it here." She said, glancing around.

"What? This room isn't romantic?" He teased; glad the bulk of everything was off his chest.

"Considering Stasia accosted you right there, not really." She pointed out, a memory he'd almost successfully forgotten until Clarke brought it up.

"Yeah." He grumbled.

"And it might just feel slightly odd, you know…here…with everyone…?"

Even though at this point the entire group was now in a job and has stopped being children or being in school about a month ago, everyone had petitioned to Jaha to let them continue to keep this room. Bellamy figured that the guy was so overwhelmed and warmed by their gathered request that he couldn't say no. Everyone made a point to come back here, even with his or her busy lives and tiring jobs, just to see what was going on.

"Yeah, good call." Bellamy said with a sly grin.

Clarke finally seemed able to let Wells go for the moment, and returned to her sketchbook. She'd been diligently drawing something for the past half-hour, but he wasn't really focused on it. He'd been doing his own work, making the next few months training regime. A year in now, he'd begun to learn the tricks of the trade he hadn't picked up from Swan and was trying to implement them into his new group of kids, which happened to include Dax this year. He wasn't thrilled to have that kid, since even though he knew him rather personally through the group he still didn't like him, but he was glad he was in a position of power over him. Although, he shouldn't be prejudiced, because Dax was a very good guard so far.

He'd been pleased he'd been able to convince Monroe to take over his job as the Sky Box ferry for Simon and Charlotte at the end of her year. He hadn't even had to do much pleading; she'd almost chosen it on her own. It was a good set up this way. Although Charlotte was now thirteen, he would always see her as that terrified ten-year-old.

Jasper swaggered into the room, dramatically sitting down and yawning to the point of ridiculousness.

"We get it, you're tired." Raven snapped.

"Long day at work, ya know." He said, and she rolled her eyes. They still couldn't tell anyone what this 'secret project' was, but it seemed to sap a lot of their time. Although it wasn't as high risk as their first covert project, it still captured their thoughts during most of the day, it seemed. Raven was known to be in the middle of a conversation with someone and just bolt off to run an equation, leaving the person standing there confused. Monty had a holopad with a folder filled with notes that no normal person could ever decipher, and he always had it on him. He was a little more polite when genius struck him, but still would be clearly itching to jot down a strange phrase or send it to Raven or Jasper with a lot of exclamation marks and both seemed to understand exactly what he meant.

Jasper…Jasper didn't have much in the way of proving he was doing much, for he didn't have those moments like the other two, although Bellamy was assured by Mr. Griffin that Jasper was pulling his own weight, if not more, than the other two. So, usually Jasper made a point to show that he was working both jobs and beat when he came into the room. Bellamy was absolutely dying to know what this project was, especially since some people in the guard like Shumway or Miller knew, and he was just far enough away to have the answer slip through his fingers.

Jasper stretched his back by pulling his fingers above his head, twisting like a cat left and right. His eyes caught whatever Clarke was working on, and they zeroed in. Bellamy looked up with interest, curious about what piqued his attention so suddenly.

"Whose that?" He asked, now leaning over her to see the work. Bellamy peered over the top of the binder, and he nearly choked on his own breath. She'd been drawing Octavia.

It was expected, he supposed. They'd been spending a lot of time together, much to his chagrin and Octavia's glee. They got a long swimmingly, to the point that Clarke admitted she was steadily becoming a friend as close as Raven was to her, and Raven was her best girl friend. He was so pleased they got along and didn't even mind sacrificing nights with her to keep his sister happy.

"Just, you know, drawing. No one really." Clarke didn't even blink at the question, and Bellamy relaxed. She seemed surprised where her hands had lead her with this drawing, but wasn't so unprepared she dropped the ball.

"Really?" Jasper seemed unconvinced, "I've just never seen you draw something from your imagination…you just seem to really like drawing people from the Ark, you know." He said, seemingly a little dispirited.

"Why do you care?" Bellamy cut in, raising an eyebrow.

"Honestly?" He said, and his face turned a pink, "She's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. I guess maybe I hoped she was on the Ark and I don't know…" He said, shaking his head, "Stupid thoughts."

"Oh, well…yeah, no one I actually know. I'm sorry." Clarke sounded totally apologetic, and maybe she was. Jasper had been with some girls, but he hadn't really dated any. Everyone was almost settling, or getting closer to that point, and Jasper just wasn't tempted by much of anyone. Bellamy knew she didn't want him to one day just settle because he did ever feel compelled to settle for someone just because he thought that's what he should do, even if he didn't feel a spark with them.

As much as Bellamy too felt this, he obviously knew that his sister was a bad choice and pretty much impossible. Plus, his brotherly instincts kicked him and Clarke had to kick him under the table to keep him from glaring at Jasper.

Jasper did his best to brush off the thought of the picture, but even after Clarke had put her journal away, he still was looking to his left every few seconds, as though forgetting the drawing was long gone.

Clarke thought it was adorable, Bellamy thought he was out of line, although he really had no reason other than being protective to think that.

They didn't tell Octavia about it. There was little reason to, she'd never get to meet him and why maker her excited about something that couldn't come to fruition?

So, for a while, they forgot about it and Jasper stopped trying to look at Clarke's journal to find the girl's picture.

About a month or two later, Clarke came over to a worried Bellamy who summoned her at freaking three A.M. of all times.

"Look at her side!" Bellamy said, pulling up her shirt to reveal a puss-covered and infected looking area.

"Does it hurt?" Clarke asked, her tiredness vanishing as she went into Doctor-Mode.

"Of course it hurts!" Bellamy snapped, and Octavia gave him a firm shove away.

"I can answer for myself, ding-bat." She snapped, and then rolled her eyes, "It's uncomfortable, but it doesn't hurt-ow!" Her true feelings betrayed herself when Clarke started to touch the area around it, not even getting closer to the real bad part.

"O…" Bellamy growled, pinching the bridge of his nose angrily, "Let your pride go for one goddamn second…"

"He's right," Clarke sighed, "I can't help you if you're not honest." She said.

"Fine…" Octavia sighed, frowning, "Yeah, it really hurts. I've been taking the pain pills up there, but it's only taking a little bit of the edge off." She admitted.

"Yeah, with something like this, it wouldn't do much." Clarke said, "You'd need something much stronger."

She stood, pacing, considering what to do.

"What's wrong with her?" Bellamy asked, and Octavia tugged her shirt down, crossing her arms over her chest a little nervously.

"Unfortunately, the birth control implant I put in her has become infected." Clarke sighed.

"Did you do it wrong?" Bellamy demanded, and Clarke narrowed her eyes.

"Hey, tone there buddy." She said, because he always took Octavia's side, but she couldn't blame him. Didn't mean she liked the sort of voice he got, that accusational tone with her. She'd managed to snag an extra implant last month from the Medical Wing, one that had been made by mistake because there was a error in the number of girls that needed one this year. It of course worked out in Clarke's error, and she'd bribed the supply man to give it to her and make it disappear. He hadn't questioned much, he did a lot of shady business with people and was known for being discreet and gossip-free.

"No, sometimes the body has an adverse reaction to the materials." Clarke said, "Not everyone's body likes having a chunk of metal and copper shoved into them. Plus, the older you get when you have one, the more likely this is to happen…" Clarke scowled, "I probably could have fixed this easily when it first cropped up."

"First?" Bellamy said icily, glaring now at Octavia.

"Yeah, she's probably had this thing bothering her since like two days after she got it. I could have just given her some medication to help her body adjust to the influx of minerals and medicine, but now…"

"Octavia!" Bellamy thundered, "What the hell? Why didn't you tell me that it was bothering you?"

"I didn't want to be an inconvenience." She snapped before she could stop herself, "I mean, Clarke went to all that trouble to get it for me when I don't even really need it for what it's meant for, just so that my periods wouldn't be so bad and I didn't want to have her take it out."

Clarke softened, "Look, you couldn't have known. I forgot to tell you about it, but only a small percent ever react, so I did forget. That's on me."

"What now, then?" Bellamy said, "You said you could have fixed it before. You can't now?" He asked, afraid.

"It's complicated." Clarke sat on the table, pushing her fingers up her scalp, deep in thought, "You see, by this point, we need to take it out. We can't salvage the medicine; her body's been adverse to it for too long. Even if I gave her the coping medication, it likely won't work. And she needs real anesthesia to take it out now, its imbedded and gotten infected so it will hurt like hell. Plus, the area around it might need to be cauterized and the dead stuff cut away, otherwise it could spread to other parts of her body. All this can be extremely stressful to a body that already is weakened without the usual vitamins of the ark and I should have you hooked up to a machine to monitor your medical levels, so I know if I need to stop something. Plus, if it makes your heart give out, which it did happen in one case like this, I could bring you back, but only with the proper equipment near by." She finished to the sallow white faces of both Bellamy and Octavia.

Octavia's eyes filled with tears and Bellamy spun around, kicking the wall a couple times.

"So now what?" He demanded, throwing himself back toward Clarke, "Now what?" He seemed unable to say much else.

"Oh my god, I'm going to die in pain or die in pain." Octavia sniffled, looking at the option of keeping it in or thinking of Clarke trying to remove it her without anything, "I'm so…suh…sorry that I di…didn't tell you Bell." She started to stutter in between sobs.

"You couldn't have known." Clarke sighed from the table. She was grown up with the unspoken encouragement that unless her limb was literally chopped off or she was dying to quietly endure because there wasn't much they could do.

"Or I take her in." Clarke said quietly. Octavia was so shocked she stopped crying and Bellamy spun, anger in his eyes he'd never seen.

"Are you fucking nuts?" He snarled, "Great idea. Just great."

"Bell…" Octavia said softly, "I mean, it's either me or mom at this point…and I'm sorry, I really don't want to die." She said. Bellamy's face grew anguished.

"I'm not stupid Bellamy." Clarke said, a little offended he'd think that she was even suggesting that. The promise she made to him the day they first kissed still stood.

"I'm confused." Bellamy frowned, "But you said-,"

"It's three A.M. Do you know who the doctor is technically on call right now? Me. We really don't get a lot of cases at three A.M., but we have to be there, in case. There's one other doctor there right now, and I can easily get rid of him. He's left me before at night shifts like this, and just put his pager on in case something comes in. He's not supposed to do that, but thank god he does. The only reason he's there now is because he sent me to respond to this distress call, and luckily he's lazy as hell. If I go back, tell him it was someone stupid who stubbed his or her toe and pointed out the time, I'm sure he'd get up and go. Then we carefully sneak Octavia there, you have the guard schedules and all so you can avoid people. I fix her up, and she's back in here by five-thirty/six A.M when people start to stir."

There was a moment of silence.

"Well, maybe that could work…" Bellamy said softly, "If it's our only option…"

"Whoo! I get to see the Ark!" Octavia whooped, and then winced in pain, "Ow…"

"Okay, I'll get rid of my partner. Stay put you two." She said and nodded to them before streaking back to the Med Bay.

As predicted, after she made up some story about someone getting a paper cut and freaking out (it had been known to happen) and then casually yawning, the older more douchy doctor suddenly realized that even if he wasn't tired that he deserved to be at home the rest of his shift and did his usual fleeing of his post, leaving Clarke alone. Most nights she hated when he did that, but tonight, she was so glad he was predictable.

Now, the time she'd be gone to get Octavia was a problem time, because she was going against every rule by leaving the Med Bay unmanned, but she was fairly confident no one would come in…no one ever did. No one ever checked, either. Her mother especially just wanted to sleep when she could. Plus, Clarke was the perfect one. Why assume the Alpha Princess was doing anything but her job?

They made quick work of getting her out the door. Octavia was slow moving, eyes widening at every step. Clarke understood this was her first time literally ever leaving her room, and it was under poor circumstances where they didn't have time for her to sit and gawk or admire something. It was shame, truly. Plus, they were taking all sorts of hurried odd connections to avoid guard members lurking about on duty this time of night, with Bellamy's face almost glued to his screen and Clarke tugging Octavia along.

Halfway there, Octavia just sort of stumbled a couple steps before falling to the side. Luckily, Bellamy's reflexes were seasoned and he managed to throw Clarke the holopad and catch his sister the moment she fell.

"Shit, shit." He muttered, quietly tapping her face, "O! Wake up!"

She just moaned quietly, and he ground his teeth.

"It's a lot of exertion to get there. More than she'd do just walking around the room." Clarke pointed out, realizing the girl had likely never needed to walk this far. She knew Octavia worked out, doing sit ups and push ups, but running wasn't an option in their tiny room. Also, her infection was quite nasty.

"Can you drag her?" She asked.

"Do you know how to read that?" He pointed to the complicated looking mess of scribbles on the holoscreen, "I don't have time to give you a crash course of it right now."

"I don't think I can drag her." Clarke said, her eyebrows knitting with worry.

"Shit." Bellamy said again.

What would happen next was serendipity, kinsmit, fated…all those words that were more feelings than words could express about something so radically improbable of occurring someone could only describe it as 'meant to be'. At least, that's what Jasper would confide to Clarke years after this, in those words exactly.

As Clarke and Bellamy were trying to revive Octavia, painfully aware that each moment that slipped past put them in more danger and Octavia was slipping more and more into unconsciousness, a secret entrance door opened to their left.

They were all over the Ark, secret passageways and such. The guard knew them all by heart, because it was helpful in high-risk situations to be able to skip through stations without running through them. Children might find one or two in their lives by accident, if they were prosperous. And, in all things considered, Bellamy wasn't surprised at all that Jasper Jordan would seem to know about it so casually, and he had an inkling that he knew where every single one was.

Yet, no one was expecting anyone to walk through that door and Jasper was also not expecting anyone on to be on the other side, since it was past curfew and only doctors, guards, or other emergency personal had reason to be out.

The three all regarded each other for a moment, eyes wide. Jasper stuffed a bag of weed frantically into his pocket, before realizing whom it was and relaxing.

"What are you guys doing out here?"

"I could ask you the same thing." Bellamy said, standing in front of Octavia, glaring at him. But it was too late. Jasper saw her, his eyes widening and staring at Clarke as a light bulb went off in his head.

"She is real!" He said, recognizing Octavia immediately. It took longer for him to process she was on the ground, unmoving, "Oh my god…what's wrong with her?" He said, coming to her side before Bellamy could shove him back.

"We need to get her to the med bay." Clarke said, and Bellamy sent her a totally wild and frantic look over Jasper's head.

"Is she okay? My god, she's out cold. I should get someone-,"

"No!" Both Clarke and Bellamy said a little too loudly, a little too quickly. He jumped, looking at the oddly.

"I mean, we just need to get her there. Can you help Bellamy carry her?" She asked sweetly, seeing a solution to their immediate problem. The aftermath she wasn't thinking all the way through, but one thing at a time.

"Of course." Jasper said instantly, helping Bellamy pull her up, slinging her arm over his shoulders. She made a faint sound, and his whole face broke into a deeply concerned look.

"What happened?"

"Infected Birth Control Implant." Clarke answered honestly, "It's bad. We need to get her to the Med Bay so I can hopefully fix it."

"Okay, of course."

Jasper didn't question anything on the way there, much unlike his usual personality. He didn't ask why Bellamy was looking at a screen and making them take sudden and odd turns, he didn't ask why Clarke lied about her being real, he didn't question the fact that both Clarke and Bellamy had been so adverse to having him fetch help. Instead, he talked soft words of encouragement to Octavia, who was coming to slightly, a girl he didn't even know.

"Put her here." Clarke said when they reached the Med Bay, motioning to an empty bed in the empty room.

"Where's…the other doctor."

"On a house call." Clarke lied, "Or call in someone else?"

"Shouldn't we wait?"

"I can do it, I know what I'm doing." Clarke said, already flitting around the room to gather materials, slipping an IV under Octavia's skin, and instructing Bellamy to do things while also standing guard. Yes, some medical help would be nice, but she couldn't afford that.

"I didn't think…" Jasper frowned, "I just…she'll be okay, though?"

"Of course." Clarke said, because she did believe that she could fix this now. Jasper at first looked awkward, now that his chore was done. He didn't want to overstay his welcome here, and Clarke hadn't asked him to do anything yet, mostly because she wasn't sure the extent of medical knowledge. She knew Bellamy had to learn basic first Aid for his job, but did chemists have to know that too?

He almost left until Octavia's hand reached out and grabbed his wrist.

"Do you mind…staying? I know it sounds silly…but Bell has to guard door the door and Clarke isn't exactly comforting while she's poking me with needles…God, I sound so pathetic." She chuckled softly. Bellamy whipped around so fast it looked like it hurt.

He was about to protest when Clarke shoved him into a corner.

"No. He's too far in now." He said, shaking his head violently.

"Exactly! He's already seen her…and something about him makes her feel calm already. You need to be standing guard; she should have someone else with her during the procedure. Besides, can't you tell he's practically smitten with her?" She asked, nodding back to them.

Bellamy's jaw locked. It was the 'smitten' part he obviously had a problem with, but in the end he caved.

Clarke went back and saw he'd pulled up a chair. Octavia was blinking into the light of the Med Bay, looking much more with it than even a couple seconds ago. Jasper had parked himself on a chair next to her, and she glanced at him with a faint blush on her cheeks- Clarke wasn't sure if it was she found him attractive too or she didn't like admitting weakness. She figured it was a combination of both.

"Hey…you sort of passed out on the way here. Jasper here helped us carry you." Clarke said, grinning at her, trying to keep her calm.

"Jasper?" Octavia said, turning to look at him fully now. Her hand was still tucked into his. He noticed and dropped it quickly, trying not to overstep anything.

"Yeah, that's me. Jasper Jordan, at your service." He gave a silly bow. She grinned.

"I've heard about you." She said, laughing, "From Bellamy. I didn't think you'd be so…" She struggled to find the word.

"Devilishly handsome?" He teased. She just grinned back, and perhaps she had been thinking somewhere along those lines.

"Charming." She finally agreed on. Clarke listened half way as she got a clean knife out and hooked some numbing medicine into Octavia's IV, giving her cues as she went along, "They always sort of described you as just the jokester…I mean, a really intelligent one, not in a bad way…" Octavia blushed, but Jasper shrugged it off. Not much offended him.

"Not the worst epithet in the world. So you know Bellamy…and Clarke." Clarke could see Jasper trying to work it all out. There was a question in his statement.

"Yeah." She said, and even she realized how delicate this situation was.

Clarke cut into the wound, and even though she'd been giving numbing medicine, she couldn't be put under so it still probably hurt like the dickens. Octavia reflectively reached out for his hand, gripping it tightly, screwing her eyes shut.

"You have got a strong grip, girl." He laughed weakly, "Wow…"

"Sorry," She winced, starting to soften her vice like finger hold, but he shook his head.

"Look, do what you got to do." One eye was watching with horror as Clarke deftly cut into her side, blood running down her skin onto the pad beneath her.

"Thanks." Octavia said, wincing again as Clarke began to finger carefully around for the device. She began to wheeze, and Clarke worriedly checked her stats and saw her oxygen dropping.

"Jasper, grab that mask there. Hand it to her." Clarke said, not wanting her to slip away right now, when she didn't have anyone on hand to help. She was terrified at the thought of having to use the shock pads or Bellamy's response if he heard a flat-line.

Jasper responded swiftly, placing the mask over her face.

"You know, I still don't know your name."

"Octavia." She breathed behind the mask, and then shot a scared look to Clarke, wondering if perhaps she'd said too much. Clarke just gave a small shake of her head. At this point, she pretty much knew what she was going to have to do with the end of this situation.

"Octavia…really unique." Jasper repeated it, savoring the name of the girl he'd been thinking about for months, despite only seeing a reproduction of her, "Clarke drew a picture of you. It really doesn't do you justice."

Gone was his usual flirty tone, the tone he used when he was intentionally trying to woo a girl. It was replaced with awe and sincerity. Octavia recognized this and smiled.

"I like that picture too." She agreed.

They chatted quietly during the rest of Clarke's work. She was glad, it kept her distracted from the painful procedure Clarke was doing behind the scenes, both so Octavia wasn't focusing on the pain and also so she had someone to look instead of watching the knife in her skin or the hot metal Clarke was readying to fix the gaping hole in her side, since sewing something that large together was out.

"Hey, last bit. This…this is really going to hurt. Here, bite onto this." She said, handing her a rolled up towel.

"I'm stronger than that." Octavia pffted, rolling her eyes.

"Octavia…just take it." Clarke sighed in resignation, and Octavia begrudgingly took it.

"You're going to put that…on her skin! It will leave a scar, won't it?" Jasper's eyes nearly bugged out of his head.

"Yeah, unfortunately. I don't have a lot of other options. She had a lot of infected skin." Clarke said, frowning.

"Just another scar to add to my collection." Octavia laughed, and began pointing out various scars to Jasper that she got from this or that. He chuckled at it, relaxing back into the chair. He seemed more jumpy about it than Octavia did.

"On three…one, two…three." Octavia began to make a loud sound, and quickly shoved the towel in her mouth, biting down hard and muffling her cry. Bellamy poked his head back in, eyes worried. Octavia saw him from the door way, rolling her eyes.

"My god, I'm fine!" She said, huffing. His eyes narrowed in on her hand in Jasper's, and there merely narrowed before he slid back behind the wall.

"There, done." Clarke said, putting some anti-septic things on it and making her sit so she could wrap a fluffy white gauze bandage around it. Octavia watched it go around with a sigh.

"So, what now?" She asked, poking her bloody device sitting next to you. Clarke finished, wiping sweat from her brow and going to wash off.

"Usually, we'd fill a manual prescription for birth control for those that are adverse to everything there. It's not one hundred percent effective and it's a pain to take on everyday, so we don't use it often. But with you…" Clarke didn't know what to do.

"Yeah." Octavia agreed, understanding the predicament. Jasper didn't ask, but she could see that he was adding another anomaly to the long list of things that defined Octavia. He was smart, he would figure it out sooner or later…if not today, tomorrow. Clarke knew he was working it all out as they spoke, so she found little reason to continue lying to him. She just hoped he was trustworthy with this.

"Is O fine now?" Bellamy called in, "How's she doing?" He sounded incredibly worried.

"Fine, you Nervous Nancy! I think you'd hear it if I died." Octavia pointed out.

"That's not nice. I was really worried, you know." He said.

"Yeah, I know."

"Go back to your shift. We're not done yet, Blake." Clarke called from the sink.

"So…Bellamy…being worried…I'm going to assume you're not in some weird threesome relationship with Bellamy and Clarke," Jasper said, totally joking which incited a wide grin from Octavia, "Because Bellamy…he looks like you, and he acts like a father figure. I mean, who knows, he might be into that daddy kink and all.."

Clarke gave him a nasty glare and he took that as a 'no'. But then Clarke watched him after that for a different reason; she saw the way it was all coming together slowly for him.

Of course, Jasper- growing up a single child like most-wouldn't necessarily recognize what a sibling relationship looked like. She didn't even know, not really, until she met the Blakes. Yes, by most means, it might seem like a parent sort of bond.

"I really hope he's not your dad. That would be totally fucked up, right? You're like what, my age? 17? 18?"

"17." Octavia confirmed, "And yeah, not my dad…totally creepy. Besides, you think Bellamy would really be able to hide an extremely young daughter?"

"True, true." Jasper chuckled, making a faux relieved face, "I guess that leaves one guess…" His eyes narrowed, and Octavia winced.

"I think I know what it is." She said, all joking aside. He nodded. There was a small pause, then he nudged her.

"You know, if you two didn't look alike and I had to guess just on personalities, I would be clueless. You're so much manlier than Bellamy…in a very feminine amazing way." He added hastily, but Octavia seemed to know what he was referring to. She beamed.

"Hey!" Bellamy objected from outside, "I'm very manly…"

"Hey, Jasper? Can you help me with this stuff?" Clarke asked, motioning to the pile of dirty materials they needed to sanitized and put away before anyone saw it.

"Yep! Will you be okay here, Octavia?" He asked, turning toward her.

"Course." She snorted. He nodded, following Clarke. She led him to a small sanitation room, showing him how to clean the first instrument.

"So…it goes without saying but you can't tell a soul about her. Not Raven, not Miller, not even Monty. I don't care how close you are. This is a risk letting you know, but at this point…" Clarke gave a long sigh, "Her life, Bellamy's…her mother's lives, and they're all at risk right now." She said.

"I understand." Jasper said, sobering completely, "Clarke…I mean, it sounds totally crazy. I've only known her a night, but you got to understand, I'd go to hell and back for her. I can't describe it, but there's something there between us." He said softly, "I hope maybe she feels it too…"

"Good, we're in understanding then." She said. He shook his head.

"I won't ever tell a soul. She's worth that and more. She's incredible…" He got a dreamy look on his face.

"She's pretty awesome." Clarke agreed.

"How long have you known?" He asked.

"Only about six months. She contracted that nasty thing going around last year and it got bad. Bellamy only told me because she was dying at home. Luckily, I was able to treat her there…tonight, we weren't so lucky." Clarke said, washing Octavia's blood of the small scalpel.

"I can't imagine what it must be like." Jasper murmured, drying things off.

"Having a sibling?" She said, looking at him.

"No, I sorta feel like Monty's my bro, you know? I mean, living as an…well, what she is." He said. Clarke nodded.

"It's lonely. She doesn't get a lot of food, or didn't. Bellamy's promotion has helped a lot. She hid in the floor, and still has to sometimes. She has never seen the Ark except tonight and I don't know if she'll ever again…" Clarke looked at him pointedly, "I know how you feel about her, but I don't see how this is going to work, Jasper. She can't be like a normal girlfriend. She's confined to her house forever, literally."

"I realize." Jasper snapped, then shook his head, "Look, love and caring is about making sacrifices, right? I just want to enjoy now with her, if I can. I don't know what we'd do in the future, if we ever got there, if she even feels that way about me. I want to try though." He said.

"You'll have to talk to Bellamy about it." Clarke said, "I think that's not bad, but he's the big man…good luck." She said, patting his back, and he winced.

"Yeah…he seemingly has developed an aversion toward me spontaneously. Is it how I'm dressed?" He joked, "Maybe how my hair is styled today…"

Clarke noticed the time. It would still be a bit before her shift was up and her mother or Jackson would come to relieve her, and the lazy doctor would show up as though he was here the whole time, but she wanted to get Octavia home so that in case anything happened between here and there she could fix it. Clarke alerted Bellamy to this observation.

"Agreed." Bellamy said, "You can go now, Jasper."

"Don't be such an ass, Bellamy." Octavia swung her legs over the table, sitting up and winced hard, "You need to be looking at your magic pad for guards, I'm still hurting and Clarke can't drag me back there. Besides, I like this kid."

Jasper's whole face lit up.

"Let's just go, okay? Jasper isn't going to tell anyone." Clarke said, looking hard at Bellamy.

"Anyone?" Bellamy got up in Jasper's face, inches away and stood taller, trying to make himself intimidating. Jasper squared his shoulders, shaking his head.

"Not a soul."

They stared at each other for a couple seconds before Bellamy nodded, not happy, but convinced.

"Fine, let's go then."

The trip back to their place was luckily uneventful. Octavia tried to just keep her head down, knowing that she couldn't get caught up in looking around because she couldn't stop to examine things or come back. Jasper told her really awful jokes the whole time, but she couldn't stop laughing and at one point, Clarke was concerned she'd re-open her wound and had to make Jasper stop it.

At their house, Bellamy pushed all three inside and locked the door quickly, moments before Keith and another guard strolled by, chatting about the weather inside the ark (the air conditioner was broken; it was hotter than most often and was a topic of all the small talk of late.)

"Shit," Jasper looked at his watch, "I have to go. Work soon." He looked regretfully at Octavia. Octavia looked back at Bellamy.

"Can you give us a moment?" She said with a pointed look.

"Have you seen the size of this room? There is no 'private'." Bellamy said, and Clarke thought he was trying to be as annoying as possible about the whole thing. She shoved him to the farthest corner away from them, but even she could still hear their quiet conversation.

"Will you be back?"

"Do you want me to be back?" He asked.

"Yeah, I do. I like talking to you. I like your humor. I like a lot." She said, sounding a little unsure of herself, and Clarke looked back to see her with her arms crossed. Octavia was rarely the sort of girl that had trouble expressing exactly what she wanted, but she seemed timid in this moment, "But I have a question…when did you know? Really?"

"Honestly?" Jasper gave a small laugh, "Early on. Wasn't hard to figure out."

Clarke looked at Bellamy with a slightly raised eyebrow. She hadn't known he was on the secret so quick. She thought for sure it wasn't until the end that it all was clicking. He was good at hiding it, though. Bellamy seemed shocked too. Then again, despite his carefree nature, Clarke many a times had to remind herself that Jasper was incredibly intelligent, defiantly within the top 10% of IQs within their group.

"So what? You were just trying to see if it was worth it to turn me in, then?" Octavia asked, hurt.

"No! Of course not. I was trying to decide if I could just go on with my life, pretend I never met you. It would be easier for you this way, I know another person in on the secret just puts you one step closer to danger-,"

"Got that right…" Bellamy muttered under his breath, and Clarke nudged him in the side sharply. She put a finger to her lip. She was unabashedly listening into their conversation.

"-But by the end, I knew I couldn't. I feel selfish, but I saw Clarke's picture of you once and I never stopped thinking about it. You're better in person. I just know if I were to walk away now, do the right thing, I couldn't…" He broke off, "But maybe I should be thinking about you. You're the one with everything to lose. If you ask me to walk away today, I will."

"No, of course not. I don't want you to. You were brave, helping me, deciding to keep this secret…honorable. It's not all that selfish. I guess if I were really thinking of my safety, I'd send you away. I don't know if I want that, though."

"Good." He whispered so quietly that Clarke had to lean back to hear it.

"Bravery should always be rewarded, you know?" Octavia said carefully, and then there wasn't an answer from either. Bellamy and Clarke both turned around to see Octavia had stood on her toes and leaned up to kiss him.

Bellamy tensed up, and Clarke put an arm in front of him to stop it. He was glaring.

"I just don't want her to get her hopes up, Clarke." He hissed under his breath, "This is so dangerous…"

"I know, but doesn't she deserve this moment?" Clarke questioned, to which Bellamy couldn't find a reason to disagree with that.

"Well, at least it's Jasper." Bellamy said, starting to come down a little bit, "Could be worse. Could be Dax." He reasoned with himself.

"Jasper is a great guy. You know he'll respect her." Clarke pointed out, and Bellamy gave a reluctant nod. She saw the time.

"I have to go." She announced loudly, and told Octavia how to care for her wound and to let Bellamy know immediately if she felt really bad pain. She turned to Jasper, "You coming?"

"Yeah." He said, his hand slipping from Octavia's, "I can come back, right?"

"I'd be sad if you didn't." She said, more confident and leaned up to give him a final kiss. It almost seemed familiar, as though they'd been together weeks instead of just meeting that night.

"Come on, you two. Seriously…" Bellamy reminded his sister he was sitting there.

"I've had to watch you and Clarke suck face more times than I want, even if I do love her to death. So watch this." She said, grabbing him by the back of the neck and pulling him down in the most passionate display they'd done yet, instead of just chaste cute kisses.

She winked as she let Jasper go and held up her hand for a high five. He enthusiastically slapped her raised hand. They both snickered at Bellamy's absolutely horrified face. Clarke realized they had the exact same humor in many was, Jasper and Octavia, so it wasn't too far of a stretch to imagine that they could start to falling love even after one night.

"This…this is going to be fun, isn't it, Bellamy?" He asked, looking at Bellamy who was halfway between looking disgusted and halfway between furious.

"Fun." Bellamy said, shaking his head and using the most sarcastic tone he could muster, "Just loads."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHH JACTAVIA! I've been planning this since day one :) It's why Jasper wasn't in the original grouping list at all for the Project...so this could happen...
> 
> I seriously fell in love with them in season 1 and they're one of my OTPs for the ship. I think I could write an essay on all the reasons they'd actually be really awesome together, and still would be. I liked Lincoln a lot, don't get me wrong, and if he and Octavia had stayed together forever I wouldn't have been upset in the least, wishing she were with Jasper, but if I had to choose, I do like this ship a teeny bit more...As for Jasper's romances...well, I never really liked Maya (i seriously don't know why, always just meh) and we I thought that grounder in Luna's camp could turn out to be awesome but we didn't really know her enough for me to form more of an opinion and all.
> 
> So just, yeah. Because Octavia deserves some goodness too :)


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! I'm sorry this is a week late, but I took a week off for midterms and such and really had no way to tell you :( But luckily for you all, this is a two-part chapter so the next part of the chapter will come out sometime this weekend :) Yay!

12 Years after Start of Program-Pt 1

"Doctor Griffin? Doctor Griffin? Hey, you…"

Clarke didn't even notice the small brunette calling her name until she felt the tug on her shirt. She still wasn't used to the idea that people would be calling her Doctor Griffin soon, because she associated that name with her mother.

"You can call me Doctor Clarke, please." She winced, turning to look at the child. She was dirt-stained and smelly, and Clarke quickly deduced she was an orphan. It was regular seeing these children around, especially because she was helping around medically in the Factor Station. They came to her tentatively, and once they realized she wasn't going to turn them in, they came with infected cuts, bad vision, stomach aches, and every other ailment that Clarke could think of. They were usually young, under twenty-five, since the older they got, the harder it was to hide from the members of the Ark and keep themselves alive. She knew there were a few adults lurking around, still technically orphans, but they were much more distrustful and more like memories than people. These children, though, were skittish, as though they expected at any moment they'd be turned in, betrayed by the kind doctor with gentle eyes. They always came and found her and never showed her their hiding spots, usually scurrying back into the darkness of the Ark once Clarke declared that she had done all that she could.

It was heartbreaking.

Most of these orphans were victims of negligent parents, parents that were floated early on, or parents that died in a Breakout. There were the rare few that Clarke couldn't find much of any information on, even if she were to have scanned their tracker.

In theory, since none she'd come across were illegal and therefore had the implanted chip, no child should be left alone. Yet children from the lower stations that were put in difficult situations often just slipped through the cracks became literal ghosts upon the ship, never to be heard from again. Chances were few people cared about them besides their parents and no one wanted to take extra effort to find a kid that didn't want to be found. Clarke had thought about making a campaign do so something about all these orphans on the Ark, since there were many more than she could have ever imagined, but they were so distrustful of most authority figures she wondered what would be the use? Where would they go? Who would offer to feed them when most families hardly could feed themselves?

So, Clarke made a special effort do anything she could when an orphan approached her; give them an old shirt, hand them some food, use any means to make them better.

They were easy to spot; Clarke knew what to look for at this point.

She crouched down by the girl, hardly older than eight.

"What's your name?" She asked with a quiet tone, putting up a slow hand to wipe away some dried blood from a cut underneath her eye. The girl didn't reply, so Clarke moved on, "What's the problem, dear? Where does it hurt?"

"It's not me. I found someone, I think they're really bad." The girl said, her eyes widening in fear.

"Show me." Clarke said, making a metal note to look over the girl after this mission anyway, but from the girl's terrified tone knew that this would take priority. The girl lead to Clarke through a small hole to a world Clarke had never seen before…the place where orphans on the Ark gathered. It was behind the nicer looking walls, where power lines hung cut and empty, pipes steamed at intervals, and there was the constant echo of dripping water.

She spotted eyes watching her from darkness, groups of children looking at her with distrust and wariness, retreating further with their ratty blankets and broken bowls.

The small girl held Clarke's hand firmly, leading her to the back, nearer to Mecha station than to Power Station, or at least, Clarke figured.

"In there…" The girl said, pointing to an alcove with broken electrical lines hanging down like vines and an old towel pinned up as a doorway. There was a noxious smell emanating from the room, like carrion, and the ground was sticky.

Clarke turned to ask the girl something, but she had vanished. This didn't surprise Clarke, but she was still disappointed.

She put one hand over her mouth to try to breath in as little as possible, and used the other to push aside the towel.

There was a figure crumpled up on a mattress, and Clarke had the feeling wonder of where they acquired an old bed. It was put to rest swiftly because she realized the lump wasn't moving at all.

Yes, the girl was right…this was bad.

Clarke had a sinking suspicion about what she was going to find before she even turned the person around. She did so, and stumbled back so violently that she tripped and landed on her butt. She breathed heavily for a couple moments, eyes wide.

For a second, she'd thought the girl laying there wide a blank, dead stare was Octavia.

It wasn't weird to think that people looked alike on the Ark, what with so little DNA lines to pass around, and the fact that everyone was likely related somehow. Most people had their 'twin' somewhere, or someone that although they didn't obviously share a last name or any family ties, probably came from the same descendant line.

Clarke's 'double' was thirteen and lived in Power station. Bellamy's was a middle-aged man that they found a picture of in the files, and he was a carpenter in Aero. Her mother's was an old lady who died a year ago from Hydra, and her mother attended the funeral and was mistaken for her daughter by more than one mourner. Some looked more alike than others. Some were almost clones, the genes of two people mixing in oddly the same right way to create someone that looked the same.

And this girl? She was almost a dead ringer for Octavia.

Of course, upon closer look, there were differences. Her chin was much more pronounced, her hair chopped short and close to her ears, and her build was shorter and less muscular compared to Octavia's. Now that she knew it wasn't Octavia, she could see that this was someone else, but there was the odd feeling on the back of her head that it was almost close enough to be her, like she was looking at Octavia from a different life.

The girl had been dead for days, hence the smell. She had a foot that was black, in a full state of necrosis, and she guessed the infection had spread to her heart. She was glad that the girl had found her; Clarke obviously couldn't do anything for her now, but she couldn't be left here to rot. She was momentarily glad the young child hadn't realized she'd come across death…no need for these small ones to be traumatized more than they already were.

This was the first dead one Clarke had ever come across.

Clarke picked up her impossibly skinny arm and took out her pad, scanning the chip.

The girl's name had been Melody Byers. She had been born in Power Station to a mother that was an engineer and a father that was a low-rung technician. They'd had her early; both were hardly 20. The father's parents had died young, and the mother's father was still alive, but had Alzheimer's. Melody's parents had died in the Breakout that had occurred when Clarke was a toddler. Melody was 23, although Clarke would have never guessed that with how thin and sickly she looked. She apparently vanished about three days after she got the news that her parents died, and her grandmother searched for a couple days but they all assumed she'd perished without anyone taking care of her. She was declared officially dead around twelve years ago.

Clarke put the pad away, feeling sick and stumbled out to where the air was fresher, trying to decide what to do. She deserved to be somewhere else, not waste away to a skeleton in the back places of the Ark. Shouldn't her grandfather be informed? Would he even remember her? How awful to be just a no one. Even if Clarke brought her body forth, would anyone come to a funeral for her? Did anyone think of her, ever? She'd been nearly six when she vanished…that was a long time ago.

And she couldn't get over how much she looked like Octavia. Maybe she could get Bellamy to come, but maybe not. Maybe he'd look at it and all he'd see was his sister. Wouldn't that be just awful?

She sat for a long time, just contemplating all her options. She kept getting side tracked, thinking about Octavia and Melody. Melody and Octavia. If Octavia was allowed to be out, she would come to Melody's funeral, since it was just sort of common practice that you came to your double's funeral, even if you never knew them. Of course, she couldn't, because she was illegal. The funny thing was that Melody wasn't and yet she lived her whole life like she was, and what did it even amount to? She was dead. She could have been anything she wanted, married and had children…it was unfair. She had the chance to go out and live, and yet she hid away from the world. Clarke was unfairly angry at this dead girl, who had been too young to know what to do, on behalf of Octavia.

And then…in a moment…the craziest thought Clarke had ever had slammed into her.

She fumbled in her medical bag for a scalpel and a plastic bag. She took a couple pictures on her pad of the girl, from all angles. Then, she took the girl's arm with the chip, laying it across her lap, and then she paused.

What she was about to do, what she was thinking of doing, was possibly a thousand different ways unethical and gave no respect to her dead body and life. But yet, on the polar opposite of her thoughts, perhaps Melody's death didn't have to be meaningless? What if she could be used for something undeniably good? Melody, like anyone, might want that.

Clarke didn't think a second longer, she deftly cut along the old scar where they'd put in the chip and fished it out. She put it in her bag, and stuck it in her pocket.

Next, she went back to the place where her parents had lived, and asked around about Melody to the few friends that were listed by the parent's name; or people that had expressed deep sadness at their passing. She first visited the grandfather, and he had no recollection whatsoever of a granddaughter or a daughter. It was sad, but not bad for Clarke's plans.

She learned from the few people she could track down that Melody's parents were loners in school, and loners in adult life. Their 'friends' were more people that didn't mind them. Melody had been an accident. They didn't recall much about, and when Clarke showed them some pictures of a couple kids around Melody's age (including a recent picture of Octavia) saying that they'd gotten a 'tip' about a possible Melody and asked them which picture might be of her, and most people guessed that if she were to look like anything, it would be Octavia's picture. So, at least, twenty people could buy this helter-skelter plan of Clarke's. No one expressed too much of a remembrance of her, though, so Octavia was close enough to be good enough.

This was a risky deal, but Clarke only felt confident as she left. She went back, wrapped up the body in the towel, and dragged it to the nearest Air Lock. Because of her plan, Melody couldn't have a wide funeral, so Clarke did the motions herself, wishing her a safe journey to the ground. She shed a tear, and thanked Melody for what she'd be doing (even if she didn't know it) and pressed the red button, watching the body float away.

Well, she was too far into this plan now to give up.

She strode confidently find Bellamy, and found him in the after-school room. She summoned him, and picked Jasper up and dragged him away. Her expression must have been slightly intimidating, because no one questioned pulling them both back to her room.

She paced when they reached there.

Since Jasper had found out about Octavia, the pair had been together. It had been three months, and they were both head over heels for each other. He came when no one else was there to keep her company (and, likely to make out) and Clarke had never seen her happier. Bellamy grudgingly confirmed she hadn't been. He had brought up the protests that she only fell in love with him because he was the first guy outside him or Simon that was free, but then Clarke pointed out that he'd apparently been smitten with her since they were children and she was the first girl he ever liked.

He couldn't judge their relationship after that, and Clarke just said 'like brother, like sister'. And, Jasper was good to her. Incredibly good.

"Clarke, you're scaring me. You look like you're going to pace through the floor." Bellamy finally jolted her from her thoughts.

"Why am I here…?" Jasper asked cautiously, "I'm confused."

"I don't know either." Bellamy gave a baffled look to Jasper. Since accepting his relationship with his sister, they'd went back to being friends.

"I have a crazy, bat-shit crazy plan. It's so insane I think it might work." Clarke finally said, and both boys just continued staring at her blankly.

"About what?"

"Octavia." She said. Bellamy leaned forward.

"Clarke…" He said sternly, a warning.

"No, just…listen. Hear me out." She said, and tapped up the screen to the pictures she'd taken of Melody. She held it out and both Bellamy and Jasper jumped up.

"It's not Octavia," She hurried to say, "But I thought that too when I saw her."

"Bull." Jasper snapped, on edge, "Who is that then?" He seemed ready to run all the way to Octavia's house to make sure she was okay.

"Meet Melody Byers. Orphaned at age six, ran away at age seven, declared 'dead' at age ten, actually died probably a week ago." She said.

Both boys relaxed a little, still looking at Clarke with clueless expressions.

"So, you found Octavia's look-alike." Bellamy said, not understanding, "Cool?"

"Very cool. This girl, Melody, its like she didn't exist. But the glory of it is that she did. She is documented and all. Hardly anyone remembers her, but she is the uncanny match for Octavia, or what Melody would look like if she were to grow up and survive all those years as an orphan. She's twenty three and free."

Clarke paused, feeling her heart beat before giving the big reveal, setting down her pad and taking out the small bag, "And…before I gave her a funeral today and sent her to earth, I took out her chip."

She threw it on the table and waited for the light bulb to click on.

Jasper reached it first.

"Oh my god…" He whispered, staring at the bloody chip like it was the most glorious thing he'd ever seen, "You don't think we could…"

"Make her Melody?" Bellamy finished, a second behind Jasper, his whole face between awe and fear, "Could we even pull it off?"

"An adult orphan has ever resurfaced before, not like this. It would be tricky, but I've been thinking it through all day. We put the chip in Octavia. I go in and do a blood test and switch Octavia's test in Melody's file so on the off chance someone tests her blood, it's a match. Make sure their blood types are saying the same thing on the page."

"That's illegal, I'm sure." Bellamy said, not in a disapproving tone but a questioning tone.

"I'd be willing to do that for her." Clarke said, 110% positive she was willing to take the risk.

"Holy shit…" That's really all Bellamy could manage to say. It was overwhelming, to say the least. It was almost so unbelievable that it could be mistaken as a dream, but this was real.

"She can get out of the room?" Jasper was grinning ear to ear, "Clarke…you'd be her hero, forever."

"It's not done yet, this plan." Clarke winced at about what she was about to say next, "Jasper…this is where you come in."

"Me?"

"Well, here's the problem. Although she's of age, 23, she's never learned to do a job. She couldn't go into anything. Her family room was given to a new family and her grandfather is in a care facility, so she'd have nowhere to go. We could chance it, say she wants to live with Bellamy, but there could be whole other problems that arise from that we can't foresee. People looking too close into your house, realizing someone's been living there for years…maybe someone connecting the dots about a sudden reappearance. No, we can't have anyone studying your house in particular too closely. She has to go somewhere else. Melody has no means, her family wasn't rich and her grandfather doesn't have anything to bequeath to her. Octavia gets her freedom…but why can't she have it all. But if a pair gets married, you've given a suitable new house by the board and she would have money and security and all the safety that comes with a marriage certificate…" Clarke licked her lips, watching Jasper's reaction closely.

"Oh." Bellamy said, frowning. She half expected him to be livid, threatening Jasper's life and manhood at this point. Instead, he looked deep in thought.

"You want me to marry Octavia." Jasper said quietly, but not shocked or disgusted, but extremely pensive.

"Marry Melody." Clarke reminded with a meaningful wink, "Outside of us, of me, you, Simon, Bellamy, and her mom…she's Melody Byers. You could have met her on the Ark, fallen in love. Everyone loves a good love story like that." Clarke said dryly.

"I love her, and I'd love to marry her." Jasper said without missing a beat, "But I won't force her into it. She's giving up a lot, even if she is gaining a lot. She would be giving up not only her last name but also her first. She'd be giving up her relation to her real family."

"But it's worth it." Bellamy said, surprisingly on board with it, "To become Melody Byers, or…" He only gave a slight pause and long sigh, "Melody Jordan…she'd get a whole new life."

"You're okay with this?" Jasper asked, trying to gauge his real feelings.

"About Octavia getting married at the age of 17 to a guy she's only been seeing for three months?"

"When you put it like that…" Jasper muttered, his expression falling.

"Look, it's not ideal. But it's more than I could have ever expected for her. She should get to marry someone, have a family, and have a life. We only have this chance, because of the similarities between the two. This is a godsend. This wouldn't work any other way. I think for me to reject this because I have to be the protective older brother is selfish of me. I give you my blessing." He finished.

"We should probably consult the person this whole thing is about." Clarke reminded them.

"Yes, yes, of course." Jasper nodded enthusiastically, "Do you guys know any places where I can get a ring?" He asked, and Clarke couldn't help but break into a smile.

"Take this." Bellamy reached into his pocket, fishing out some coins, "It was my payday today. Consider it an early wedding gift. I'm sure you can find something nice and worthwhile at the commissary with that." He said.

"I can't accept this, Blake." Jasper shook his head.

"I'm forcing you to. You marry my sister, you do it right."

"Yes sir." He turned, "You go explain it to her, I go find a ring?" He asked.

"We'll see you back at the house." Bellamy agreed.

The jog back to the Blake house was filled with tension and an exhilarating anticipation. It seemed surreal that this could actually be happening.

Octavia was alone, humming along to the Ark radio when they entered.

"Yo." She greeted them, giving them a salute. She did a double-take, "What is with those ridiculous looking grins?" She demanded, raising an eyebrow.

"Octavia…" Bellamy coughed, "We…we have a plan."

Clarke quickly went through the whole first part of the plan to Octavia, watching the girl's eyes widen with each passing second. Tears grew in her eyes, and she was openly sobbing by the time Clarke finished.

"You're lying, this isn't for real." She said, her whole body shaking at she hid her thousand-watt smile behind her hands.

"It's for real." Bellamy assured and Clarke looked behind her to see he was crying too. He didn't even try to hide it. She felt herself tear up. She loved Octavia like a sister. This was a dream come true. It was a fairytale.

"Wait…wait…" Octavia was laughing now, holding up a hand, "Why do I get the feeling that there's more? Y'all both still have those smiles on your faces…I recognize it…it's the conniving smile mom and I had the first day you came home raving about Clarke, Bell. It was the day, although you denied it, we knew you two would end up together."

There was a knock on the door and Jasper's voice.

"Right on time…" Bellamy said, opening it, "We just got finished telling her part A of Clark's plan." He said meaningfully.

"Course, course."

"Jasper!" She squealed, throwing her at him, "Can you believe it? We get to be together, for real! Outside of this."

"You're not going to leave me now that you can move on to better things?" He teased, although Clarke knew he was a little concerned about it as it was. It was a fear that maybe she would realize she didn't really love him once she met other guys, or that she was just settling for now. She shook her head, hitting him in the arm.

"Don't be stupid. You are the best there is out there, seriously. You were with me when it really mattered. I'm sticking with ya, sorry, bud." She assured.

"Sorry, Octavia…" He chuckled, shaking his head, "Don't ever be sorry for being with me." He looked at Clarke, "Part 2?"

"Yes, part 2….for it to fully work, we think you should marry Jasper." There was a small silence. Octavia didn't look upset, nor angry or scared, but just sort of stupefied. Clarke explained her thoughts, and Octavia nodded with understanding. Bellamy watched carefully for her expression for any sign of doubt or that she didn't want this. He saw none.

Clarke finished, and before Octavia could say anything, Jasper tapped her shoulder. She turned, and he got down on a knee.

"So…hey." He said.  
"Hey." Octavia replied, her eyes watering again. Clarke was pretty sure she'd never seen Octavia cry so much, ever, but she was glad it was tears of joy.

"Look, don't think I'm marrying you because of this whole thing. I'm marrying you, saying yes to this, because I goddman want it. I know in my heart that I would have made this work, married you, one day. So does it matter if it's tomorrow or a year or three years? I'm marrying you because I want to be married to you, not just for show or to get you out of here…although that is a great bonus. I want it to be as real as I feel for you." He said, holding out a delicate and simple gold ring. It wasn't ostentatious, and no diamond or gems, but it was simple and perfect. He held it out to her.

She was nodding before she could find the words.

"Yes, yes." She finally said, "I want you to know I'm not settling with you so I can get out of here. I'm doing it because I love you. You gotta know I wouldn't do it for anything less." She fisted his shirt, pulling him toward her for a teary kiss.

"Yeah," Jasper agreed, standing back and sliding the ring on, "If there's one thing I've learned about Octavia Blake it's that you don't do anything because someone tells you to or because it's the way it should be done. You can be brutally honest about how you feel in a situation." He winced but smiled, and Bellamy gave a grunt of agreement.

"Oh my god…I'm getting married." Octavia whispered, staring at her finger.

"So…" Clarke interrupted their happy moment, "Tonight, I'll put in the tracker. I know my mom is developing this ultra-healing scar stuff, and it's been working in a couple cases. I can try it on you, so it looks like the scar was there for years already. Then, soon, we'll make Melody's miraculous re-entrance to society. You and Jasper can go apply for a marriage license. Bellamy and I can pretend that you two met a while ago, and we have gotten to know you as a person over these last few months and can vouch for your relationship with Jasper. Convince him to send it through. Then…well, the rest is happily ever after."

"I always thought those words were reserved for fairy tales only." Octavia said, shaking her head in still mild disbelief, "God, I keep expecting like I'm going to wake up and it will have all been a really shitty dream because it's not real."

"Nope, real life." Bellamy said, leaning over to pinch her. She swatted his hand away.

"You ready?" Clarke asked, holding up the bag with the chip.

"What about mom?" Octavia asked Bellamy suddenly, "What will she say?"

"You're seventeen, you're legally an adult. After this you'll really be an adult. I guess she could say no, but we might never get this chance again."

"Do you want to talk to her first?" Clarke asked, a little embarrassed she didn't think of that, but Octavia shook her head.

"Ask for forgiveness, not permission." She said, holding her arm out. Her other hand snaked to find Jasper's for strength.

Clarke looked at her own wrist to see how far down and how big the incision was. There was no hesitation as she put the knife into Octavia's skin. Octavia whimpered, and Clarke turned the implant into her arm, scanning side up. It latched onto her arm, and Clarke sewed her arm together. When she ran the scanner over Octavia's now bloody wrist, Melody's tracker number came up.

"There's a sight I thought I'd never see…Octavia getting scanned." Bellamy whispered, shaking his head.

"Let's try this…" Clarke whispered more to herself, putting the gel onto Octavia's scar. It burned, but when Clarke wiped it away, her scar appeared older…like it hadn't been made today.

"Usually, my mom would do three or so more coats of it, make the scar vanish, but this is good."

Clarke looked over to see Bellamy deep in thought.

"I think we need more people to pull this off." He said, which was possibly the most surprising thing he'd ever said or that Clarke could have ever thought he would say. If she were to write down a sentence she thought he would never utter, it might have been close to that.

"What?" Octavia sputtered.

"Well, Clarke doesn't know how to hack into a doctor's file. And also, what makes things believable is alibis…back ups, truth. At this point, the more people we bring in on this, the more people Jaha has to look at to believe she is Melody and she did fall in love with Jasper."

"Who are you thinking?" Clarke questioned.

"Monty." Jasper answered immediately, sighing, "I'd really like to tell Monty. Obviously, we can keep a secret. Your dad's secret project."

"Miller." Bellamy answered right away too.

"He's a guard…his dad is Chief of Guard. Are you sure?" Jasper wrung his hands.

"He's good. His dad is an awesome guy. He sides with light instead of the law, love instead of war. If he knew about this, I think he'd approve. And Miller? He's dependable. I trust him with my life."

"Okay, so there are two." Clarke nodded.

"Simon, Raven, for two more. Murphy? Raven will want to bring him. Can we trust him?"

"We can." Jasper said, "We're buds. He's not bad, just grumpy. I trust him, if that counts."

"It does." Clarke agreed, "Wells and Bree."

"What? Bring the chancellor's kid in?"

"Wells ain't no snitch." Clarke said firmly.

"Aren't you two still fighting?" Bellamy questioned.

"We made up…I just realized I have secrets I don't tell him either. Like Octavia, until now. I don't want to fight with him my whole life. He's my other best friend." She said, "He knows how to convince his dad of stuff. Also, if I point out that she's taking the place of someone- and therefore consuming no extra food or oxygen- he might be more willing."

"I don't know, Clarke." He frowned, "I think it's too risky to tell him."

"In the end, it's Octavia's choice to include him or not." Clarke decided, "it's her big, master plan we're doing this for." She pointed out.

"I trust both of you equally." Octavia moaned, "And I don't even know the guy. You can't expect me to choose. Jasper?" She looked at her fiancée to answer.

"Bree, we can trust her, but she's more tied to Wells than our friend group. Wells…I get the feeling he's often torn between living up to the expectation of being a son of a Chancellor and making his own moral choices." Jasper observed wisely, "In the end, he would be a good piece to have on our side. And he won't tell." He said with a decided nod.

"You sound so sure…" Octavia said, questioning.

"Because Clarke will ask him not to, and he won't." Jasper said as though it was common knowledge, "Because as much as I'm sure he loves Bree, he loves Clarke more. He always has."

Clarke let out a guffaw.

"What?" She nearly choked on her own laughter, "He does not."

"He has since you guys were like this big." Jasper made a motion with his hands, and it was hardly more than an inch apart, "And he never had the guts to tell you. We all know, except you, but we never said anything or pushed it because you were clearly meant to be with Bellamy." Jasper said, "I really thought you knew." He frowned, adding the last part as more of a pensive afterthought.

"He is." Bellamy agreed sourly, "Why do you think I was so ready to fight him all the time when we were younger? We were always both fighting for your affections and preference?" He pointed out.

"I just thought you were both idiots…" Clarke said faintly. Octavia apparently wasn't the only one with a revelation today. Wells was in love with her? This whole time?

"I guess I forgot about that. Yeah, if Clarke approaches him, he wouldn't dare make her mad and tell on her. We can trust him."

Clarke frowned, "I suddenly am not happy with where this went. I don't' feel right using him like that, using his feelings for this." She bemoaned.

"Well, you might as well put his useless pining to use." Bellamy said, which elicited a very angry look from Clarke.

"If you guys really think we should have him, I'll ask him. But I'm not manipulating him." She hissed.

"Okay." Bellamy agreed, nodding, but she wasn't sure if he believed her, "I think Monroe and Harper deserve to be in on it too. Gina…if you're alright with that." He said, looking at Clarke.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Clarke frowned, "You're friends. I'm friends with her…she's really sweet. I agree."

"That's it, then." Jasper was nodding, "That makes Monty, Raven, Murphy, Miller, Wells, Simon, Bree, Monroe, and Harper…" He was rubbing his hands, "This could, no… this will work."

"You know what that means, right O?" Bellamy asked, and she sent him a tilted stare and he couldn't help it but his whole face broke out in a wide grin, "You're meeting the gang."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And you all thought I didn't have a plan for Octavia or I'd send her to the SkyBox-no such plans!
> 
> So, remember, part two of this is coming this weekend, but the quicker you all review the more inclined I'll be to post it... ;)
> 
> So, in my world, I just found out they're making a Warrior Cats Movie. I want to be guarded, because it could go HORRIBLY, but I just can't help it :) Now I get the hype for like Lemony Snickets (never read it as a child) but the Warriors series is the start of everything for me- it's where my pen name originates from and I couldn't change it just because I like remembering where my writing started. It's been YEARS since I read it, but I feel like a kid again and I can just remember those long nights reading with the light of a flashlight (pre phones) when I was supposed to be sleeping to get to the next chapter...ahh...any other Warrior fans out there?
> 
> In worse news, I'm in the TV Show pit...as in I just finished watching all of House MD on Netflix and I don't know what to do with my life. I didn't think I would love it as much as I did. And I truly think that House/Wilson are soulmates...the best example out there. I don't even ship them romantically and I think this is a great example of a TV show that shows that soulmates can just be best friends.
> 
> Anyway, remember to review!


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are awesome ;) So many reviews. Gah! I just love it :) And just think, you'll get this new chapter and then in four days you'll get another chapter. Ain't life just dandy now?  
> I want to throw in a special THANKS to the folks on AO3 because I think you guys actually managed to leave MORE reviews than the readers over on ff.net which is so incredible and you all are beautiful people :)

12 Years After Start of Project (part 2)

Bellamy woke up early the next morning, his whole mind whirling with fears and hopes for his sister. He found her sitting up against the wall, staring blankly ahead, her expression almost upset.

"Octavia?" He whispered, as to not wake his mother. She'd come in late that night. They'd made the quiet choice to not tell her, not yet. How would they even begin? Octavia brought up the fact that maybe it was best to not even tell her until it had already happened…she couldn't stop it then.

He came and sat by her, twirling his fingers.

"Look, if you're having second thoughts about this…if you don't want to get married, don't want to do this…no one will blame you." He said, spying the way her free hand twirled the ring around her finger.

"It's not that. I want this. I want it all so badly it hurts." She said honestly, "I want to get out, I want to marry Jasper. I know you have your opinions about me marrying him." She added with a narrowed stare.

"I just…he's the first guy you've ever been with. How would you even know he was 'the one'? There are other guys out there. Jasper is awesome, I do love the kid…I just don't want you jumping into this."

Octavia gave a wry smile. "I'm sure, you don't need to father me." She rolled her eyes, "Let me remind you that you basically fell in love with Clarke and you never looked back, even if you did date others. All it told you was that you weren't meant to be with anyone else. Why can't I feel the same?" She questioned, and Bellamy realized he didn't have an argument for that. Perhaps in some ways, they were truly similar people.

"Also," She added, "He's giving up a lot too. He must feel the same way or this wouldn't be worth it. He has to be absolutely sure. This, in every way, is more beneficial for me. We never talked about marriage because it seemed impossible. We're still young. Adults get married right at 17, yeah, but most of everyone else isn't nearly ready for that yet, or hasn't met the right person. I know imprisonment, I've been dealing with it my whole life. I couldn't ever force someone else into that sort of feeling ever…I made damn sure this is 100% what he wanted. He's banking his whole life on me too." She stared fondly at the ring, "That's enough for me. It takes two to make something work."

"You look upset, though." Bellamy said, concerned.

Octavia hesitated, then looked at Bellamy and squared her shoulders a little.

"I want you to teach me how to fight." She said firmly, "Hand-to-hand combat, no weapons."

"What?" Bellamy hissed, "Why would you want that?"

"I don't know any skills, Bellamy, except sewing. I don't want to take away mom's business, obviously. I'm useless out there. I should know how to protect myself if I ever need to. Also, it will give me motivation to stay in shape. Doing like a thousand pushups after awhile just doesn't do it." She said.

"Protect yourself? From what?" Bellamy was baffled.

"That's the point. I won't know. But truth of the matter is…" She chose her next words carefully, "I'm going to a place you can't protect me anymore." The words sent chills up his spine, and she was right. He wouldn't be able to check on her 24/7 or shield her in the way he'd done up until this moment. Life was changing, and logically, so must she.

"There are other skills I'm sure I can teach you, the others can." He said, tilting his head.

"I'll want to learn those, or what I can." She agreed, "But I want to learn how to spar too." She said.

Finally, Bellamy relented.

"Fine. I'll teach you what I teach the new cadets." He agreed. Her whole face lit up.

"Awesome. Night, big bro." She said, ruffling his hair, clearly the thing keeping her up now resolved.

"Night…" He echoed faintly.

He stayed up awhile though, trying not to imagine every thing that could go wrong with this plan. Bellamy had been told he was known to over think things. This was one of these times.

Then the plan was stalled for a bit. It was hard to try to find a time where everyone could come together, what with people having jobs and other responsibilities now. It wasn't until about two weeks after Clarke had hatched her crazy idea that everyone managed to be able to squish themselves into Bellamy's tiny home. Finn somehow managed to squish himself into the group before anyone realized it, and then there was a hushed and quick argument outside the door between Jasper, Bellamy, and Clarke if he should stay.

Clarke vouched for him, Jasper was indifferent, and Bellamy was against it. In the end, Bellamy and Clarke played rock-paper-scissors, which, in hindsight, was an awful way to make monumental choices like this. Clarke won.

"You know, I've never actually been in here." Murphy had made himself comfortable on one of the chairs, "It's uh…snug." He probably was going to say something mean, but then thought better of it.

"Why are we here?" Miller asked, standing with his arms crossed against his chest, "What's with all the cloak and dagger?"

Jasper, Bellamy, and Clarke looked at each other. They'd been so preoccupied with trying to get everyone here that they realized they didn't know how to start this sort of conversation at all.

"Uh, well…" Jasper said, coughing and taking the plunge, "I guess the first thing I should tell you all is I'm engaged."

There was a moment of silence.

"So, this is what? A meeting for the wedding group? A co-ed bachelor party planning committee?" Raven raised an eyebrow, "I'm just as foggy about this whole thing as Miller."

"Who is this girl?" There was a hurt tone in Monty's voice, "I…I didn't even know you were seeing someone."

"I wanted to tell you. But, it's complicated…" Jasper said apologetically. There was a shocked gasp in the back of the room, and everyone turned to see Simon slapping a hand over his mouth. He muttered a little 'sorry' but Clarke and Bellamy both realized he'd figured it out, at least, whom Jasper was engaged to.

"Which is why you're here." Clarke decided to take over, "We…we bring you here because you are all our friends. People we trust implicitly. This was not an easy choice, but we need your help. But most of all, we need you're promise that no matter what happens, you'll stay loyal and most of all…quiet." She said.

"Yes." Bellamy agreed, "If anyone has any problems with doing something a little illegal, sort of, leave now." He said sternly. Clarke couldn't help it, but she threw her gaze desperately to Wells. She hopped he didn't leave. She saw Miller lean forward, but didn't move. Everyone sort of looked at each other with curious looks, but didn't leave because everyone had done something a little illegal at least once.

Wells did look to Clarke, and she felt Bellamy's eyes on the back of her head. She sent a silent plea to him to stay, to not say anything, and he finally gave a slow nod. He seemed to understand, even if he didn't know, that whatever this was meant a great deal to Clarke.

"Well…great." Bellamy seemed genuinely surprised, "So…erm, everyone meet Octavia…" He said, and Octavia exited the bathroom where she'd been waiting. She was shaking, and her eyes ranked over the group, "This is…my sister."

There was just a silence. An awful, agonizing silence where half of the people stood (to do what, no one was sure), and then some looked at Simon as though maybe this almost had something to do with him, and the others just looked between Jasper, Bellamy, and Octavia who indeed had a small ring on her finger.

Then, out of the silence was a cackling laugher. "Oh shit! This just got juicy." Murphy snorted, slapping the table in total amusement.

"That's Murphy, right?" Octavia guessed instantaneously, "Ohh…I like him."

"She's almost as pretty as you, Blake." Murphy teased with a friendly leer.

"Oh, shut it." Bellamy muttered.

This broke the dam and everyone was asking questions at once. Bellamy tried to get them to quiet down, but was failing. Jasper had migrated over to Octavia and slipped his hand in hers. Clarke finally got fed up and wolf whistled. This quieted the crowd.

"We have a plan and we need your help." She said firmly, and then regaled her findings of Melody and her idea for the third time.

"So you need us…to back it up." Gina realized, nodding, "To make the invisible girl real."

"Exactly." Bellamy looked relived, "But more than that...we need some of your help specifically in other places." He admitted, "Like Raven and Wells." He said, surprising Wells to hear his name.

"This is nuts." Wells whispered, still trying to wrap his head around it.

"But you won't tell, will you?" It was Bree that turned to him fearfully, "You can't tell on her!" Bellamy was surprised with the fervor she expressed.

"I…" Wells seemed caged, "This is…" He couldn't find the words.

"If you tell on her, Wells Regulus Jaha…I swear on my mother I will break up with you and never speak to you again!"

Somewhere in the back of the room, Murphy began to whisper 'ohh burn' before at least three people hit him.

Wells stumbled back at her words, and Clarke felt a gentle nudge in her side from Bellamy, who looked at her and tilted his head. She scowled, but saw his indecision still and sighed.

"Please, Wells." Clarke broke in, and he turned to her, his whole face contorted with conflict, "Why punish her when she's already here? She never asked to be born. And her mom…Aurora, she's like the nicest person ever and she's been punished enough by having an illegal child. What she has to do, the people she has to do it with-," She saw Bellamy flinch out of the corner of her eye. He didn't like admitting what his mother did to keep them fed when they were younger, but Clarke knew that pointing out Aurora's sacrifices might sway him, "To keep them alive is almost punishment enough. But taking her away? That's just cruel. Melody is dead. She has been for three weeks. She has a whole life that's just…waiting, untouched. The ark is about using the resources wisely. This would be a wise use of that life. I'm not saying we should be flippant about all illegal children and that rules are meant to be broken. I'm just saying that out of everything we'll ever do, this is maybe one of the most pure and good things we could."

Everyone's eyes were on Wells, and he knew it. Clarke watched him carefully. He finally forced himself to look at Octavia, something he'd been avoiding. Clark knew his fight was over the moment he truly saw her as a person.

"I won't tell." He said, "The council is not always right." He said and then let out a long breath, "I guess you want me to appeal for the marriage application to go through quickly and without problems?" He said.

"If it should arise. We anticipate a girl coming back from the shadow lands will be like a soap opera. People will want to see her get married. It's what people live for on here." Bellamy pointed out.

"And I need you Raven to hack into the medical records and switch out Melody's blood DNA with Octavia, in the case anyone checks." Clarke said.

"Easy." Raven beamed, "I mean, not that I've hacked into any medical records before…" She backtracked, looking at not only Wells but also the multiple guards around the room.

"Like we don't know you've almost been in every mainframe of the Ark." Wells sighed, "And after this…?" He waved at Octavia, "Nothing you could say would be surprising or as incriminating…"

"So if I told you I killed a man…" Murphy began.

"Almost nothing." Wells revisited, then scowled, "Wait…have you?"

"Pff, no. What kinda guy do you think I am?" Murphy rolled his eyes.

"So…what's her back-story? The sordid love affair you'll tell the world?" Harper asked, excitement and curiosity gleaming in her eyes.

"We thought we'd leave it up to all of you." Octavia said, "You're the ones that will have to back it. Collectively, Jasper and I thought we'd make it up together, so no one is confused about anything. Being consistent is key." Octavia said.

"You know…" Finn coughed in the back of the room, "I read somewhere in a psych book about lying that the easiest way to assure something is consistent is to go off what is reality…with minor changes. That way you don't have to memorize a whole other set of rules to a life."

"I heard that too." Miller agreed.

"I feel a brainstorm coming…" Monty said, looking a little less upset that he hadn't been informed, "Octavia, want to sit by me while we do this? I'm dying to meet the girl that got Jasper to settle down."

In the end, Melody's story was an odd combination of Octavia's life as well as the real Melody.

The story was mutually agreed upon to be this: A year ago, Clarke had a young orphan summon her with the fear another older orphan might be dead. Clarke dutifully went to check on her, and found Melody very much alive but severely starved and dehydrated. Being the good Samaritan Clarke was, she dragged Melody back to the nearest place she could think of; her new boyfriend's place (the Blake's). As Melody began to return back to health, both Clarke and Bellamy became close to her and were sad to see her go. She was, admittedly, a little unsure about spending time with these two people, but try as she might, she couldn't resist the idea of friends. Not long after her rescue, she met Jasper and it was rather all downhill from there.

She met the rest of the group at varying points of time. The reason it took a year for her to return to being declared 'alive' was because despite it all, she was still the scared child that ran away after her parents were killed. Taking in the Ark, in all it has to offer, is a scary new thing. But she was so in love with Jasper that she made the effort to slowly rejoin society and now she feels as though she's ready to take the full plunge.

For the next five days, the entire group helped out in varying ways, avoiding Aurora's work schedule (Octavia nor Bellamy had found the right words to tell her yet) and preparing Octavia or 'Melody' for the life outside these four walls.

Raven, as Clarke requested, hacked into the medical files in a time frame that made Wells have to bite his tongue as he watched, and made Raven casually suggest better firewalls.

Miller drew out a painstakingly accurate floor plan of the Ark. Even if Melody were an orphan, she would know her way around and he quizzed Octavia relentlessly upon aspects of the Ark and it's floors.

Murphy, Harper, and Monroe helped Bellamy out by being sparring partners with Octavia as he taught her hand-to-hand combat. She picked up on it with ease that terrified Bellamy. Murphy's lamenting about how good of a guard she could have been verified the fact that his sister was a born warrior.

Everyone else schooled Octavia on basic facts, cut-and-dry lessons of their own trade, and things someone who grew up 'free' on the Ark would just know.

And then the day came.

Bellamy didn't know how to feel. He recalled looking into the mirror of his house that day, years ago, that he went to pick his life's career. How he felt that it was so monumental and life-changing that when he looked at himself again, he would be different. And now nothing in the world at that moment could match how strange it felt to be leaving one life and going into the next.

That had nothing on this day.

And perhaps, like him, Octavia was reflecting on the different sort of person she was going to become today too. She also looked longingly into the mirror, and whether it was mourning a bit for this life she was leaving (as awful as it was, it had kept her alive) or she was preparing for the worst-case scenario he wasn't sure. One thing was for sure…Bellamy, on getting a job, stayed pretty much the same. It wasn't truly as big as a metamorphosis as he had thought. Octavia though? Everything was going to shift now.

She was nervous, playing with her ring on her finger as the Blake siblings sat together at their table. They were waiting for their mother to return home. Then, after, in an hour, Clarke, Simon, and Jasper would be by to take her out for the first time ever (lucid, at least) and announce Melody's miraculous re-discovery to the world.

The door opened, and Aurora arrived back, carting her large satchel of scrap fabrics and other sewing supplies with her.

"Hey, sweeties." She greeted, kissing both of them on the forehead. Then she frowned, stepping back and noticing Octavia's hair done up and the slightest powdering of makeup Clarke had borrowed to her, "What's going on."

"Mom…" Octavia blurted, but found the rest of the words caught in her throat. Her engagement ring was clasp tightly in her fist, and he saw her quickly glance down at it. It gave her strength, but she still paused, unsure of what to begin first.

"I have something to tell you. I just want you to be quite until I'm finished. It will be easier that way." She finally decided, her forehead crinkling. Aurora frowned, looking at Bellamy and he just gave a small nod. His fingertips drummed on the table, as nervous as Octavia.

"I'm engaged." Octavia said first, which wasn't what he would have begun with, but it seemed to calm his sister now that she could finally wear it without having to quickly take it off whenever her mother was around, "His name is Jasper and he's…so amazing. I can't even find the words to describe him but he's no one I ever thought I'd work with, the kind of guy if I could date I would, and I think that's why we work. We've been together awhile now. It was an accident he found out about me, but nothing I regret. I know you're concerned about how this will work obviously but Clarke figured out a way to place me back into society. As this dead girl, who was an orphan…Melody." Octavia placed the holotablet on her mother's lap, with the dead girl's final pictures, her own photo, and a picture of Melody as a child all together. The three looked like they belonged.

"We've been planning my return for awhile now…as Melody. I'm not asking permission mom, I'm telling you what's going to happen. I'm going to go out there today and take her name and her life, which is free for me right now, and god willing I'm going to marry Jasper. And I'm going to be so happy." Bellamy saw tears gathering in his sister's eyes, but tears of relief and a sense of relief. She'd been fighting against her imprisonment her entire life, despite that's what kept her alive. Now, for the first time ever, it was as though she just dropped all that stress and knew she'd never have to pick it back up, "Octavia Blake-who wasn't supposed to exist in the first place- now is just a memory."

There was just silence for a moment. His mother had only made a couple protesting sounds during her speech, but Octavia had been so high strung that she just kept talking, never giving her mother a chance to really interject.

"I…" Her mother mouthed words silently, but seemed shocked, "Octavia…"

"It's Melody. Or, it will be from now on." She gave her brother a quick glance, for reassurance and he gave a small grin. It had been hard, but slowly he'd been easing himself into calling her Melody, as painful as it was. When he was out in public there could be no hesitation to call her that. It was a necessary sacrifice.

"I knew it. You'd hate it." Octavia's face soured.

"I'm just concerned." Aurora put delicately, "What about-,"

"I assure you, we've thought of it." Octavia answered before she could finish. Their mother spent the next couple minuets grilling Octavia on every plan B, every scapegoat option, every possible way this could implode upon them. At each question either Bellamy or Octavia had an answer.

"We've thought this through, mom. We've been working on it for days now, non-stop. We're not stupid." Octavia finally stressed, "Once again, whether you want this or not, it's happening. I have a chip now, my blood is in the system as Melody's and there is literally nothing stopping me from walking out that door right now. The only thing that could fuck up things is if you were to claim me as your illegal second child, but hell…we both know you won't do that."

Octavia stood, "I think I'm ready to go out there, Bell." She said, turning to her brother.

"Octavia, or Melody…" Their mother frowned, using the name. It was a start, "I just want what's best for you. Don't you think I've imaged this sort of possibly in my every dream? This life for you? Understand though why I'm scared."

Octavia's face softened as her mother gently touched her scar on the inside of her arm, now no different than the ones her brother and mom had.

"I do." She said quietly, "I'm fucking terrified, honestly." She gave a sharp laugh, "But I'm done living like I live here. I'm ready to move on. And I'm not leaving yet…obviously I'm living here until I get married."

Aurora's eyes misted as she glanced at the sparkling ring on Octavia's finger.

"When this is done today, invite him to dinner. I think I should get to meet him before you get properly married, don't you think?" In her own quiet way, this was their mother's blessing. Bellamy understood if she said much more she might not be able to find words to speak again.

"Of course. You'll love him." Octavia promised.

There was a rap on the door. Bellamy stood, and realized he was still shaking from the intense confrontation, and opened the door to Clarke.

"Hey, O." She said, "We all good?"

"Yeah. We are." Octavia's face split into a grin. She, for the first time ever, yanked the door open fully so that she could see into the long hallway expanse of the Ark outside their door.

"Mrs. Blake…" Clarke nodded respectfully to their mother. Aurora pulled Clarke into a tight hug, quite unexpectedly.

"I always knew you were brilliant. But without you and your discovery of Melody…" Aurora pulled back, looking Clarke in the eye to truly convey her sincerity and gratitude, "You will give my daughter a gift that is the most precious thing in the world, and something I could never give…I am forever grateful."

"I love Octavia, but you know that." Clarke said, "And she deserves this."

"Come on!" Octavia now hopped impatiently by the door, "We have the entire world to see!" She said, grabbing Clarke's hand, who grabbed Bellamy's and pulled them out the door. There was only a moment's hesitation when she passed the threshold, but then she was flying free.

Aurora waved at her children with one hand, holding her other hand over her lips in disbelief and awe. The door shut behind them.

Octavia's eyes were full of wonder at literally everything they passed. She whispered under her breath where each shoot led, Miller's A plus teaching and maps proving their worth.

At the entrance to the Factory Station, Simon and Jasper were waiting. She squealed, running up and embracing Jasper.

"You're actually out." He said, gripping her tightly and pushing his nose into her hair, "Incredible."

"My mom wants to have you over for dinner tonight." She said, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

"So it went well?" Jasper gave a grin.

"Surprisingly, yeah." She nodded, "This is so…beautiful." She breathed, spinning in a circle.

"It's really not," Simon gave a 'pfft', "They don't clean it as much as they should and there's dust all over here. Plus the rust and-,"

"Have you seen the inside of my house before? This is like…this is so much better." Octavia pointed out.

"I think it's so cute how you see the Ark. Reminds us of exactly what we forget to be thankful for." Jasper said, loping an arm around her shoulder, "Now come this way…I want to be the first to show you something."

He led her to the sky window, and Octavia took a few tentative steps toward it. She pressed her face against the glass like a child, breathing out hard as she looked at the moon and the earth for the first time.

"We came from there…" She whispered faintly, "Unbelievable!"

"One day, our kid or grandkid or something, will go back." Jasper point out, and she turned to him, grinning wildly. Bellamy's face went red. Sure, he'd known that Octavia was getting married for a while now but it wasn't until that moment that he realized one of the prime resultants of married couples…babies. The idea that his sister could be having children within a short time made him feel uncomfortable. The fact he could be an Uncle soon felt even stranger to him.

"There's a lot more to do today, c'mon." Clarke beckoned, and Octavia practically danced in front of her, Jasper hurrying to catch up.

Simon fell beside Bellamy, his face guarded. He looked a little sad.

"This must be hard for you." Bellamy said, "I'm sorry."

"I didn't have to come today. I want to see this for her." Simon said, stuffing his hands in his coat pockets, "I'm actually really happy for her." His voice was a bit raw, as though maybe he'd cried a little today.

"But you think of Charlotte."

"How can I not?" Simon questioned, turning toward Bellamy, "How can I not see a happier ending for her, if maybe I was as lucky as you? But I'm not jealous. I realize the situation this happened was incredibly coincidental at best and it's not something we could have done for her anyway. I still want to hope and stay that way that she'll get released when she's 18."

"If you were upset, I wouldn't blame you." Bellamy said quietly. Simon shook his head resolutely.

"No. There is literally no bitterness. I have come-and I'm not trying to replace my sister, let me assure you- come to love Octavia, like family. You want the very best for your family." Simon said.

"I've come to care for Charlotte in the same way." Bellamy agreed, thinking back to the long hours he'd spend off duty sitting with her at her cell and how he'd really taken to her and worried about her like a family member.

"Do you love me too?" Simon teased cheekily, smirking at Bellamy. He responded by shoving him into the nearest wall.

"I think they'd get on great, our sisters." Bellamy said, rolling his eyes at his best friend.

"I think they will too."

Bellamy didn't miss his use of the future, so certain. Bellamy wished he could be as confident, but he knew the corruptness of the Ark's system that sometimes killed happy endings. He would fight with everything he had to let that not happen, though.

They rounded on the Alpha station of the Ark, and Bellamy couldn't wait to see her reaction. It was cleaner here, more beautiful. Before they reached it, Octavia gave a sound of surprise and ran to hug three figures waiting for her.

"Guys!" She said, bringing Monty, Raven, and Murphy into a large three-way-hug, "What are you doing here?"

"Clearly, waiting for you." Murphy said, shrugging casually.

"How is it, O?" Monty asked, searching her face.

"So incredible." Octavia replied.

"Raven…you know you'll see here again soon enough, if this goes well with Jaha."

"Oh, it was John here that insisted we see you guys on your way, even if just for a moment." Raven chided, and John's whole faced flushed tomato red, something Bellamy had never seen before. He didn't disagree with her statement, though.

"Thanks, really, dude." Jasper said, nodding to him.

"Yeah, course." Murphy tried to sound flippant, but couldn't if he tried. Bellamy realized that he'd formed strong bonds with Jasper over the years and Octavia over a few short days. To see Murphy caring for people, other than Raven, was such a concept and so vastly different from the boy Bellamy knew once that he found himself so incredibly glad that he was now in their lives and vice versa.

"Good luck." Monty hugged Jasper, "We're all obviously counting on this." He grinned.

The group of four left the group of three and continued on. They reached Jaha's door finally, and Octavia let out a couple nervous breaths. The idea of the chancellor was always a boogieman to Octavia as a child, so confronting him now was like staring your biggest fear in the face.

"I'm not Octavia, but Melody Byers and I'm back from the dead…and I am stronger that that." She whispered to herself and then gave a firm nod, "I'm ready."

Clarke knocked on the door. Wells answered, expecting them, but feigned surprise. He gave a soft supportive smile Octavia's way. He'd never expressed doubt about this plan after truly meeting Octavia. He'd confided to Clarke a day earlier that when he met her he couldn't deny the good of this plan, the purity. It was easier to push aside laws and regulations and his prior disputes when it was something so…transcendent of those laws.

"It's Clarke, dad. She says she has something to talk to you about." He called back into the living room.

"Ah, Clarke!" Bellamy heard his booming voice, "Come on in." He grabbed his sister's other hand and the four went in.

"Jasper, Bellamy…nice to see you too." Jaha was always in a good mood when Clarke was around. His eyes settled on Octavia and he frowned, "Whose this?" Though the large number of people upon the Ark, Jaha made it a point to at least recognize each member, maybe even know their names.

"Mr. Jaha…it's my pleasure to introduce you to Melody Byers. She's an orphan and up until a year ago, she was presumed to be dead." Clarke said, getting straight to the point.

Jaha tilted his head, "Why don't we sit. I think this might take some explaining. Wells…get something for us to eat?"

"Sure, dad." He agreed, nodding, and returned with some bowls of potato chips.

Octavia stared at them like it was a gift from god. Even as an orphan, she probably wouldn't see many of these so it was a reasonable reaction. She'd been schooled in reacting properly to things, hours of Inmprov Theater with Gina, who directed the Ark's thespian group, giving her all sorts of situations and activities to make her think like an orphan and not an illegal child. As similar as they were in some ways, they were vastly different in others.

"Did you know about this?" Jaha asked his son.

"I've only been in on it for a couple months. But yeah, we knew…Bree and I." Wells confirmed.

"I see. Why am I just learning of this now?" Jaha questioned, no anger in his voice, but just an even tone. He was trying to work it all out.

"Well, the world here is scary. Why didn't I return six years ago, or eight, or ten?" Octavia shrugged, "It's easier to be unseen sometimes, after something so awful. But then I was near death, and Clarke found me. I started making friends, to my horror, and I fell in love with one of them." She joked and Jasper lightly pushed her shoulder. She reached out for Jasper's hand, "He proposed to me a couple days ago. It terrifies me to return, but I want to marry him more than anything in the world. And, after all this time, it would be nice to belong somewhere again."

Bellamy tried not to grin like an idiot. His sister was a natural born actress! Then again, most of her emotions and feelings derived from reality, it was just the semantics that changed slightly.

"But it's a bit hard to fill out a marriage application with someone who's apparently dead." Jasper said, putting in his humor to ease the situation. Jaha cracked a smile.  
"I suppose it would be. Who else knows of you?"

Octavia rattled off the names, and Jaha continued to nod. There were many questions, and a blood test, which he apologized for but he did want to be sure, which of course (thanks to Raven) came back as a match. He even pulled up the pictures of Melody as a child and seemed to believe it. Octavia gave her story with such heart that it was hard to think it could be a whole big lie.

"There's no procedure for this. It's never been done before…I feel ashamed that I didn't find you sooner, and it makes me wonder…" He gave a shake of his head, "But is providence that Clarke found you. I want to be the first to formally welcome you back as a member of the Ark."

And that was how Melody Byers came back from the dead.

The next couple days were a whirlwind. Jaha tested Octavia on different skills to try to find her a suitable position within society, since she was over 17. The news got out quickly, as most things did, and every holotablet was plastered with stories of Melody coming home.

Octavia had many people coming up to her and hugging her without warning, usually followed by a comment such as 'you are the spitting image of your father' or 'You really got your mom's eyes.' It was a little unnerving for her, but after the first incident, she came to expect it. Not a singular person questioned anything. The only person that Clarke thought might stir up some trouble was Kane, because when he first saw her he stopped and just…stared at her for what seemed like an hour. In the end, he just shook his head, as though he was shaking away a thought, and moved on…saying not a single word. It was…strange, overall.

Jaha and others periodically questioned the people that supposedly knew about her, trying to imagine how they missed a person being alive all these years. Everyone stuck to the story. No one tripped up. It was too important.

Octavia, in the next few days, just took long walks along the Ark. She always had a companion, usually Jasper, but sometimes another person. She started learning the names of the rest of the people from their after school group, because they were all clambering to meet the girl that had returned. Some claimed to remember her in their classes as a child. Octavia, for the first time in her life, walked freely without a fear in the world.

It wasn't surprising at all their marriage application was expedited. When they got the news they were approved, Jasper picked Octavia up and swung her around, foreheads touching and both fighting back tears.

"It's happening, holy shit." Japer whispered.

"Cold feet?" Octavia questioned. He shook his head.

"Never."

The wedding took place two weeks from announcing her return to life. Bellamy, Clarke, Simon, Monty, Raven, Murphy, Aurora, Jasper's parents (who had met Octavia the day she returned and loved her immediately) and Clarke's parents along with the Jaha's were in attendance. They had to keep it small because everyone wanted to be there. It was possibly the most well attended wedding as it was. Aurora was given a roll of nice lace by Jaha and made a beautiful wedding dress for her daughter, but of course he didn't know the underlying connection. He just knew that Aurora had been kind enough to keep her with her while she was recovering and even commented the sort of mother-daughter bond that had occurred.

Bellamy cried when his sister said 'I Do'. He knew Clarke would probably tease him for being a wuss later, but he couldn't find the will to care. Clarke wasn't going to tease him at all, but found his emotion towards his sisters as always the most endearing thing about him.

Jasper and Melody Jordan, the names on their marriage certificate, were now official. Quietly, Bellamy heard Jasper murmuring 'Octavia Jordan' under his breath and saw his sister smiling stupidly, more tenderly at him than he'd ever seen her look at anyone.

They were given an apartment in Geo/Sci station, a step up for Jasper and far above anything Octavia could ever hope to have lived in. It was near royalty. This was Jaha's official wedding gift to them, since he said Melody deserved something nice after years of sleeping in drafty moldy areas.

They didn't have to worry about things to fill the space with. People, random stranger, sent them coins and furniture alike, wishing them well. As Clarke reiterated to a shocked Bellamy, everyone loved a good love story.

That day, after everything was moved in, Octavia returned to her house she'd only seen the inside of for nearly 18 years. She had few items of her own; the mask Clarke made for her, her childhood blanket and stuffed animal, a couple sets of clothing…and that was mostly it.

For a last moment, the Blake family was together again.

He saw his sister open the hatch to the hole in the ground for the last time.

"Started from the bottom, now we're here." He said, reciting a classical line of song lyrics from the archive. She turned to him, grinning with mirth.

"I suppose that is extremely appropriate." She agreed. She looked back at the hole, "Damn, so glad to never have to see the inside of that again."

"So…now you're going on to something bigger and better, huh?" He asked.

She bit her lip. "I sure as hell hope so." She paused, "Hey, want to help me carry my stuff?" He voice was quiet. She could easily carry it in one trip, no help. But he understood she wasn't really asking him to help lug things all the way to her new house.

"Of course." He agreed, and together they crossed over the door a final time, Aurora hugging her and making her promise she'd still return to visit, and moving toward something bigger than both of them.

The apartment was mostly moved in. Their bed was recently restored and they had more than one room, which was like the best thing Bellamy could imagine.

Jasper was out, getting his childhood things from his room as well. Bellamy placed the scarce items he had in his fingers on a shelf, looking around.

"This is it then, Melody." He said. He'd gotten quite used to calling her that, and it didn't upset him as much as it once had because this was so much better than it was before.

"Please, call me Octavia…one last time?" She requested in such a small voice that it made him emotional.

"Of course. Octavia…O…" He whispered, throwing his arms around her, "God, I love you."

"You'll always be my insufferable big brother, no matter what people call me now. Remember that." She said, "Now go on…you'll still see me. Let me get settled." She said, and he understood.

"I'll see you around." He agreed returning to the house.

He was fine until the night. Then, he turned to look at his sister on their bed and she was gone and it all came crashing down on him. It was so empty in their house, something so painfully missing. His whole body ached at the hollowness, but underneath it all, it was a good sort of pain.

At 4 am, he couldn't stand the loneliness anymore.

He found himself at Clarke's door, and she didn't seem surprised at all he was here. She seemed to be expecting him. Without saying a word, he knew she understood and it was moments like this he was truly grateful she was dating him. Their connection was quiet and profound.

They snuck back into her bedroom in the darkness, and she curled up with him clutching her close.

In the blackness surrounding them, he murmured the words he'd wanted to say for ages now, really put the meaning into it that it deserved.

"I love you, Clarke." He said to the dimness.

She turned, also clearly expecting something of the sort-this sort of declaration, but she was smiling now, "I know. I love you too, Bell." Even if she was expecting it, her whole face turned pink and an infectious smile filled her features.

With Clarke, the emptiness vanished until his whole heart was filled with ease and the simplicity of loving something and being loved in return. There wasn't a better feeling he could imagine experiencing as her heartbeat and soft hand curled around his lulled him to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I was reading back through and realized I'd never really had Bellamy say 'I Love You' in a big way to Clarke...? So I'm sure he has by this point, but I thought it was important that he say it. It's not like his first time, but it's still a big deal because I think now he's saying it within a different sort of mind view, as they have just seen two people they love very much getting married.
> 
> So, please review! The next chapter is a big one, or should I say THE big one, so hopefully that will be encouragement enough to review ;)


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I think this is the chapter everyone was wondering when it was coming up, since it is, you know, the basis of the story ;) I hope you enjoy it! It's pretty long, but I'm sure NO ONE is complaining about that, because I really needed to explore different reactions properly.

12 Years after Start of Project

Everyone's world basically came crashing down on the first of August of that year.

It started out innocently enough; Bellamy got home from his work shift, showered and got dressed in comfortable clothes. It had been months since Octavia had been married and gone, but you couldn't erase 17 years with someone and so he still- on occasion- turned to joke about something with her or panicked a bit when he didn't see her dark brown mop of hair somewhere in the room.

He was getting more used to it though, but Octavia moving out had for sure made him consider some options that had been under the radar for most of his life, along with how his relationship with his sister would work now that they weren't in each other's faces literally every moment of every day.

He still got to see her plenty; she'd been put in a Guard's position cautiously. While she'd excelled at apparently many things, nothing spoke to her more than the Guards position. While it was unusual for a supposed 23-year-old to enter the guard (it was, actually, strange for a 23-year-old to be entering anything) they had put her in a cadet class temporarily just to test out the water, see if she could adjust. So far, no problems. He enjoyed teaching his sister, although she wasn't too happy about that, or so she joked. It was strange that he called her 'Cadet Jordan', but as all things, he was getting more accustomed. In reality, she was becoming a fast favorite with the guardsmen there, Murphy and Miller taking her under their wing and watching out for her when Bellamy wasn't around, although not like she needed it. While Bellamy was perfect for the guard's position because of his strict adherence to rules and leadership qualities, Octavia was perfect due to her raw bravery and agility. Where he fell flat, she picked up the pieces. As siblings, he found this to be an interesting dichotomy.

In addition, she- along with Clarke- was trying to make the orphans more accessible to Ark provisions. It haunted Jaha that there was a kid unmonitored, thought dead for years, and he just missed it. Even if Octavia wasn't missed, Melody was. He was determined to try to make life easier for orphans, although ideas were slim and every good one had problems that took them eight steps back, or had someone on the council shooting it down. And, as everything was in politics, doing anything at all took forever with government parties.

His sister was continually happy for the first time in her life; he realized. She felt accomplished, even in just a couple months. She had a job, an organization helping people, a husband, a house…all things she thought she'd never get unless they made it to earth. Every day he saw her, she still looked like she had been given a million credits. He thought everyone should wake up with that much awe of life.

Octavia's sudden life changes also made him start to finally think of marriage in a real, true sense.

This relationship with Clarke…this was the end of dating for him. He wanted to marry her; he wanted to have everything his sister had with Jasper, but with Clarke. He wanted them to decorate their house in all of Clarke's drawings, re-vamp old furniture to make it their own, decorate their little space exactly how they wanted it. He wanted to be able to make Clarke a comforting meal after a long day of doctoring and make her feel better when she lost a patient. He wanted to come home to find her with sweets for him after an aggravating day of teaching bone-headed cadets. He wanted to be able to fall asleep every night and wake up in her arms.

He'd brought the idea of marriage up to Clarke once, just to see where her thoughts laid. She hardly thought about it for a second before she was nodding.

"Yeah, I imagine myself marrying you too one day. And not just in a 'my wildest fantasies' way, but like, it's something inevitable." She agreed. But, she didn't want to get married now or in at least a couple years, because she was still young so he could respect that and she pointed out if they were really meant to be that getting married three or five years from now wouldn't make much of a difference.

If Clarke came to him though, and said that she wanted to marry him tomorrow, he wouldn't hesitate for a second. He would respect her wishes, though. She was still hardly an adult and just learning to navigate and find her place in this world. He should give her time.

After changing, he went to find Clarke, like he usually did after work nowadays, since he didn't have to keep Octavia occupied anymore. Clarke was on break at the Med Bay, her hair frizzy and her forehead sweat-stained, but her smile was wide and glowing.

"I just got to sit in on a six-hour surgery!" She beamed at him, so exited to tell him that she talked with her mouth full of sandwich. She'd made one for him too, since she had just come to expect him to show up sometime and he was always famished.

She was in the midst of giving him all the gory details of the procedure when there was a figure appeared in front of them.

"Hey, Sarah." Clarke greeted, wiping crumbs from the edges of her lips, "What brings you over here?"

"I'm trying to gather everyone at the after-school room." Sarah said curtly, her dark curtain of hair obscuring most of her face. She seemed incredibly on edge, "When are you all free? Can you make it there tonight at 11 pm?"

"Yeah, that works for me." Bellamy frowned, looking to Clarke, who also nodded.

"You okay, Sarah?" Clarke questioned.

"Fine." She snapped curtly, "Do you know if Brad and Keshawn can make it?" She asked Clarke.

"Erm," She pulled out a minitablet, "Neither are scheduled to be here, but I'm not sure if they already have plans. I can pass it along to them. What's going on?"

"I don't…just be there, alright?" Sarah started out uncertainly, but switched to the defense quickly. Bellamy just frowned, studying her posture to her dilated eyes all the way down to her quivering foot. It was part of his job, as a proper guard, to see things in people before they went bad. He didn't think Sarah was going to do anything dangerous, but her attitude made him deeply concerned what this meeting was about.

"Is it really so important?" Clarke said, sounding a little dubious. Sarah looked at her squarely, and dropped her crossed arms.

"Fucking life-changing. For everyone." She said, no quiver in her voice. Clarke nodded slowly, understanding that whatever this was, it was huge.

As she began to leave, a thought hit Bellamy and he stood.

"Oh! Happy birthday, Sarah!" He remembered at the last moment. He prided himself on recalling the birthdays of everyone in their group.

Sarah turned, looking halfway between tears and halfway between unbridled anger. She gave a disgusted shake of her head. When she spoke, she sounded terrified and trapped.

"Go float yourself, Blake."

Then she was gone.

Bellamy sat back, frowning at her strange response to his birthday wish. She was known for being surly and quick to snap, but this went beyond any logical response. Also, it was uncharacteristic of her-she'd never had such a knee-jerk response against her birthday before, at least not that he could remember. What made this birthday so unpleasant that it made Sarah Helm, arguably one of the steeliest girls he knew, look venerable and scared?

"We defiantly need to be at that meeting tonight." Clarke decided after Sarah's response, eyes wide and confused. Bellamy gave a firm nod back.

They finished their sandwiches and found the two other doctors she'd questioned about.

Brad agreed to come quicker than they thought he would, since he was known to be a little insensitive at the best of times. He seemed sobered at her name, though, and frowned.

"She's been acting odd all day." He was a good friend with her, "I went to drop off her birthday gift, but she wasn't there. Her mom was all quiet about it. When I found her, I thought she was going to shove me through a wall when I gave it to her." He rubbed the back of his neck, "She's a bitch-I say that in a loving way, but not like this."

Keshawn took a little more convincing, since he'd planned to spend his one night off relaxing and catching up on sleep.

"You should have seen her, though!" Clarke argued, "She nearly cried when she told Bellamy to go float himself."

"Cry? Sarah Helm?" Keshawn scoffed, "I'm sure it was a trick of the lights."

"No, seriously." Bellamy said, "Something is really wrong."

Finally, Keshawn relented.

"Fine. But if this is stupid as hell, I expect you to take one of my shifts to make up for lost time, Clarke." He said.

"Deal." Clarke agreed without pausing, nodding, "Besides, don't you want to be there for her? What if it's something really bad?" Clarke whispered under her breath. Keshawn's sour look softened.

"I hope not." He murmured, "Hopefully she's just being dramatic."

That night, at 11 pm, everyone was sitting at the tables like they had as children, wondering what the hell this was about.

For once, no one had a good enough guess to what was happening, because even everyone's usually crazy and left-felid ones seemed almost plausible. It was more the idea she conveyed to them all, and Tom too since he'd been gathering people as well, that this would change all their lives completely. It was fine and dandy to joke about someone else's possible misfortune when your own wasn't tied to it.

Almost everyone had been able to attend, with a couple missing. Wells was going to be late, Dax got a late shift at the guard and Bellamy couldn't rearrange it, and Armin's mother was in the hospital so on one really expected him to attend.

The tension in the room only grew as the minutes ticked by and Sarah wasn't there. Neither was Tom.

"How much do you want to bet they're actually off banging somewhere?" Murphy snickered.

The conversation ceased as Sarah walked in to the room, looking a lot more composed than Bellamy had seen her mid-day. Underneath it all was anger and betrayal; it was written all over her face. Tom followed behind her, his expression unreadable.

Sarah got up on a table. She unfurled a piece of paper from her pocket and looked a little ill. Everyone was rapt with attention at this point, the room so quiet someone could hear a pin drop.

She took a deep breath, and then began to read. As she spoke, her voice quivered, almost close to tears.

"Project Iphigenia- Chartered Law by Chancellor Thelonius Jaha in the year 2136.

A matchmaking endeavor with pairs carefully chosen to fit the best needs of each child, chosen at ages ten and under and in different stations, to be betrothed and one day wed. Wedding will occur on the 22st birthday of the youngest of the pair. The pair will be given a house in the higher of the two stations, along with a stipend for their services to the Ark and two weeks paid leave from their jobs.

Due to pushing the wedding date back 5 years after the age of maturity, it is with the hope the couples have found stable footing within their individual careers and mental state. Because of this, each couple married will be required to produce a child within two years of this union and failure to do so will be thoroughly investigated by medical officials and, unless there is a medical problem, is open to severe punishment. This will concrete the union of the stations.

Divorce is strictly forbidden, unless one of the pair can prove that their partner is mentally unsuitable or abusive. These pairs were chosen over a long period of time with many psychological factors considered so we are confident your match will be beneficial and appropriate."

Sarah bit her lip, finishing, and re-rolled the paper. There was a quiet silence while people absorbed this strange law that seemingly no one had ever heard of before. And how hadn't they, most people wondered? It was something unsual, something that at least people would have talked about…but no one had.

Toby Mos looked up with a dawning of realization, switching his gaze between Sarah and Tom- who were both 22, Tom having turned in the start of the year.

"You two got hitched…you were…betrothed." He said the word slowly, like it was a wicked bug.

"Yeah, what a wake-up call today." Tom agreed, not even denying the fact. Bellamy tilted his head. They'd always been good friends and there had always been a rumor going around that they were getting it on underneath everyone's noses…yet, he couldn't imagine (even if they had) being pressured into this and not even given a choice.

"I'm married." Sarah repeated slowly, shaking her head, "Me and Tom…we're supposed to have a kid. I didn't even want kids."

"Can't you get this repealed?" Teal questioned, "This seems wrong!"

"It's iron-clad." Tom said grimly, "Don't you think we tried? It seems like the entire adult population of the Ark has known about this…everyone's wired in. It's not just Jaha." He said.

"I'm not following." Murphy piped up from the back, "Did you gather us all here to celebrate your nuptials? I mean, yeah, I guess someone in the group getting hitched is big but…" He trailed off. Other people murmured in agreement.

"You guys don't understand." Sarah slammed her fists on the table, "This affects all of us."

She was met with blank stares. She pinched the bridge of her nose, breathing in slowly. She turned around, giving a long sigh.

"Okay, remember like 12 years ago? How like all those uprisings started and then suddenly they just vanished? And like no one has a good explanation for it at all?"

A few people around her age or slightly younger nodded. Clarke had zero recollection of it other than what she'd heard. Most people swept the whole incident under the rug. Yet, she knew from being close with Jaha that those turbulent times had been the darkest times of his leadership, and her father had once made the reference that Jaha almost hadn't been sure he'd be able to fix it. He was shushed quickly and no one talked about it again, which in hindsight, should have been red flags for Clarke.

"And how we had a break from school, which has literally never happened in the entirety of the Ark's history and we've never had another again? And how after, all these strange after school groups popped up and teachers were religious about kids staying in the group they were assigned?" She said, "Just…look at this."

She went to a whiteboard and popped off the cap, quickly scribbling down everyone's name on the board- girls on one side, boys on the other.

"What about Jasper?" Someone called out when she finished, and everyone's gazes swung to Jasper. His eyes were wide, and he shook his head.

"You all forget he wasn't here originally. He snuck in and we just sort of let it happen. He's not really part of this group. He'll be thankful in a moment." She added dryly.

She stood back, and let people look over the list, waiting for the light bulb to go on.

Slowly, like a wave, a connection was made amongst the group. But no one wanted to utter it out loud, until Simon gathered the courage to say it.

"There are 44 and an even number of boys and girls. 22 pairs." He grimaced, "We're all part of it."

This sent the world into bedlam. People were shouting over each other, people were getting up to argue against this logic despite it being sound, people were crying.

Bellamy looked at Clarke and for a second, it's like the entire world slowed down. Everyone around them shouting and clambering just vanished as they held each other's stupefied gazes, both reaching the exact realization at the exact moment. Bellamy thought of their parents shoving them together not so subtlety and how strange it had all been. They just knew, without speaking, that they were one of the matched pairs. He watched the way her lips parted into a gentle 'oh' shape and in the back of her shock and fear a tiny glimmer of relief it was he and not anyone else, a feeling he mirrored as well. Then, someone shoved Bellamy while heading to the door accidentally and he was snapped out of his daze.

Bellamy was trying to control a feeling of glee, despite the circumstances. He imagined how awful it might have been if it wasn't her. How he didn't think he could go on without Clarke.

He tried to gauge her reaction now, because he knew she processed things quickly. Now she looked pissed. A second later, thinking it through and how it had been 12 years and no one had ever told them, he felt it too.

Wells walked into the situation at exactly the wrong time. His glee vanished in an instant as he came to a conclusion of his own, looking at the dark-skinned boy.

Bellamy was up out of his seat before he knew what was really happening. In a swift motion, he shoved Wells up against a wall and punched him…hard. Blood spurted between Wells nose and Bellamy shook his fist from the sting of the impact.

"Bellamy Blake!" Clarke's sharp voice brought him back to reality, and everyone was staring at them with unhinged jaws. That had shut everyone up.

Wells looked around, saw everyone's names portioned on the board and Sarah and Tom and the way his eyes widened confirmed it. Bellamy thought back to that hazy memory of the first time Wells had a party he was invited to and the knocking over of the drinks and Wells slipping into his father's office and denying that he'd found anything.

"He's known!" Bellamy found his voice, rough and deceived, "He's known since he was eight and he's never told any of us."

"Is that true?" Clarke's voice wavered. Wells looked at the ground with guilt.

"We had a right, Jaha!" Ana's irate voice carried to him, "Just like your father, should have guessed." She spat in his direction. Everyone else was looking at him with the same distrust.

Wells, instead of accepting it, snapped his head up and his eyes were burning with a fire Bellamy hadn't ever seen within him. He shoved Bellamy away from him with more force than Bellamy knew he had, so hard that he almost fell backwards.

"I'm part of this damn program too, you know?" He said, his whole body shaking, "I'm a sacrificial lamb. Do you think my dad ever asked me if I wanted to be betrothed? If I wanted this? Do you think even after I knew I didn't try to get it thrown out? I could have been anything, but I chose to be a politician with the hopes of making this all vanish before this day." He asked, and people seemed to believe him.

"Whose your match then?" Someone asked. He licked his lips, and then wiped away a bit of blood dripping onto his chin.

"Bree." He admitted softly, and his girlfriend in the room rose quietly.

"So you decided to settle for me…because you could never have her. " Bree said, not a question but a fact.

"It's not like that." His voice lowered a couple octaves, "Really, Bree…I learned to…I do love you."

He reached for her, and she backed away.

"I just need some time, please." She said, her voice breaking and she backed tracked from the room. Wells tried to go after her, but was yanked back by Marisha who was sobbing.

"That's why Harry's and I's marriage proposal was denied…twice. I can never marry him. And you…you knew and you just let me believe like an idiot we had a chance somehow."

"I'm sorry." Wells said, looking genuinely upset, "But it wasn't my secret to tell."

"That's a coward's response…" Marisha sniffled, shaking her head.

"And Marv…" Clarke connected the dots, "He found out about this. That's why he was floated." She said. Jo stiffened at the name of her ex-best friend, ex-almost lover. She turned toward Wells like a statue, shaking her head quietly, refusing to believe it. Bellamy was stunned. As he said, he'd always known there was more than what his reason said he was locked up.

"Yeah, there were other reasons, but mostly this." Wells agreed, "I tried to save him. You have to believe that. And that's why maybe I thought I couldn't tell you. If he was locked up and floating for telling, what would happen to all of you…and of you, if I were to have told?"

This placated some people, but others were still glaring hard at him.

"So cough it up, Jaha. Who are our happily ever after pairs?" Harper sneered, a dark cloud settling over her.

"I don't know everyone's. I only know a few. Tom and Sarah, because they would have been the first. My own. Bellamy and Clarke…" He shook his head, "That's all I know right now."

"Well, you'd better get on it then. You owe us that." Teal pointed out. Wells agreed.

The anger had settled into just quiet seething now, everyone quieting to contemplate his or her own futures as it was.

Clarke was stony faced, staring down at her hands. He wanted to talk to her, but not with everyone here. Miller was wiping secret tears from his eyes, trying not to be obvious about it. He and Bryan were extremely serious and now he-like many others, was facing the hard fact that they'd never be able to get married. And, he was going to be forced to be with a girl and have a kid with them, when he didn't swing like that at all. He wasn't the only one in the group facing this problem. It sickened Bellamy.

"I guess I'm getting married too, then." Monty quietly laughed to Jasper, really the only response he could think to make. Jasper gave him a sympathetic nod, but underneath it all Bellamy could see he was indeed elated to have never been an official part of the group. That would have majorly put a wrench in their plans to get Octavia out and about, had his marriage application been denied because of this.

Harper had up and left a while ago, and Monroe had followed her.

Murphy wasn't making any wise remarks or shitty comments for once. He couldn't even find a wise-guy commentary on the situation, because it hit really close to home. Bellamy would bet his life that Raven and Murphy were matched together, and they must have realized it too because Murphy couldn't even manage to make eye contact with Raven. Raven was twisting a piece of wire around and around her finger, deep in thought.

Bellamy wondered which way her mind was going; was she thinking of Murphy or of Finn, who obviously wasn't in the group? Was her response relived or heartbroken by this news? She cast a careful look at Murphy, who was just looking at his lap, and then her eyes met Bellamy's as she noticed he was watching her. She looked down again after a moment, answering none of his questions.

He turned around to see how Benny, Simon, and Ana were handling it. Ana was gone too, and he was more concerned about her since she'd had such a violent response about it. Benny looked stunned, like his whole world was crashing down around him. His days of being a carefree bachelor were, in theory, over. He was 22 and he could be getting married as soon as this year, if his match was his own age.

Simon and Uma were in the corner, heads tougher. Bellamy got up; seeing Clarke was still in the same position and knowing he had some time to check up on some of the others, to move to them.

"You two okay?" He asked softly, kneeling down by them. Uma's eyes filled with warmth at his concern.

"Are you two?" Simon motioned toward Clarke.

"We haven't talked yet. I'm letting her think." Bellamy settled down beside them, "Sorry if I'm interrupting."

"It's okay." Uma softly whispered, "At least you know. We're terrified because we don't. What if we're just imaging our childhood friendship and being pushed toward each other? What if we're matched with someone else in here?"

"How could I not hate that guy?" Simon gave a long sigh, running his hand over his face, "How could she not hate the girl? These are our friends, goddamit it, and this is pitting us against each other even before it's begun."

"We're trying to agree not to hate our matches, if it isn't us, and remain friends." Uma said, trying to put a fake smile on her face.

"It's hard to even theoretically agree to that." Simon mumbled.

Across the room, Clarke stood. Bellamy got up, and then looked back.

"We'll be okay. Worry about yourself, go." Simon made a 'shoo' motion.

Bellamy ran after Clarke.

"Hey," He caught up with her, "Are you-,"

"Fine? Are you?" Clarke finished, asking him angrily. He stood back a bit, rubbing his arms.

"Nothing much has changed between us." He pointed out, "We're still going to be together, and it's not like we're slated to get married tomorrow. It will still be at least five years, which is what you wanted." He pointed out.

"It changes a lot!" Clarke yelled, spinning on him, "I wanted to marry you, yes, and don't get me wrong- fuck, I love you Bellamy but they've taken away my choice." She started to retreat into herself, "And I just hate that so much. I can't stand it. I can't stand to look at you, think of it."

"Clarke…" Bellamy's voice broke, "Oh, Clarke…Maybe we should just go back to your place? Watch a movie on the screen and not think of anything the rest of the night?" He suggested.

"Bellamy, I just…I don't really want to be around anyone from the group right now." She scrunched up her nose, "I need time to think about this whole thing."

"Oh…" His heart dropped to the bottom of his chest. He was angry about it too, but more on other people's behalves. He was just relieved it had worked out in his favor and he hoped they could just sort of move past this, but apparently that was going to be more difficult. He felt like kicking a wall; they'd been doing so good as a couple, so happy.

"Really, it's not you. I still love you just the same." She assured, "Just…I'll see you later." She said, waving awkwardly, like they no longer knew how to act around each other, and started to retreat. Her voice didn't quite match her sentiments, though, and she hadn't kissed him.

"Clarke?" He called after her, "We're still okay…aren't we?" He asked nervously. She gave him an almost blank look, as though she was feeling too many emotions and just switched it all off. That's what terrified him the most.

"We have to be. Don't you remember, we're betrothed now."

As he walked home, Bellamy became a little bitterer about it. He thought the name of the program was horrendous, since Iphigenia was a Greek Myth about a girl who was sacrificed by her parents. She had agreed to it, thinking it was a marriage to the savvy warrior Achilles, but it wasn't until it was too late that she realized it and nothing could be done. He didn't think it meant this wasn't real, but more so what he garnered from naming it this was the idea of sacrificing one for the greater good, something that seemed to come up a lot. So it didn't bode well with how Jaha wanted it to go, if titles were meaningful at all and Bellamy liked to think so. Or Jaha just wanted a cool name and hardly knew the story. Bellamy, as a nerd, wasn't sure which infuriated him more.

When he got home, he wasn't certain what he was going to say to his mother. This was something they needed to talk about, obviously, but should he be angry at her? Happy? He wondered what Octavia would think of all this, since no doubt her husband would return home and tell her everything.

Bellamy was a little upset by the time he reached his door; all those years he spent, worrying about if he'd end up with Clarke, and that could have been so easily avoided. Moreso, he thought they were the sort of family that didn't keep secrets from each other, at least not for 12 years! When you kept big secrets like Octavia, you needed to be truthful everywhere else. That assurance was sacred to him. It was a slap in the face his mom didn't think like that.

His mom was home when he opened the door.

"What now?" She sighed, seeing Bellamy's rigid posture and his arms crossed over his chest defensively, "And should I even ask why you were out until 1 am?" She questioned.

"You know mom, actually, I think you should be congratulating me…since I'm apparently betrothed to Clarke and all."

There was a tense moment that hung in the air until his mother finally sighed, shaking her head.

"How'd you figure it out?" She asked.

Before Bellamy could answer, the door sung open and Octavia stormed through the house like a hurricane, Jasper following behind her.

"Is this serious? You agreed to marry him off to Clarke and I never knew about it?"

Bellamy threw her a confused look.

"Why would you think you would know if I didn't?" He asked. She gave a small shrug.

"Dunno, probably because mom likes me better. You didn't see her hitching me away to some random kid!"

"You know, except the fact you were, you know." Bellamy growled, looking around, "Jasper, for god's sake, shut the door."

"I'm sorry." He murmured to Bellamy, "I didn't think she'd literally run here after I told her."

"She would have found out eventually." Bellamy grimaced. In some ways, he was relived his sister was here.

Jasper closed the door and sat on the lower bunk bed. Their mother sat. Octavia paced. Bellamy sat on one of the chairs. For a moment, no one knew what to say.

"I did it because of you." Aurora finally spoke.

"For me? Or for Bell?" Octavia turned, raising an eyebrow, "Mom…when have you done something that wasn't for me? I mean, Jasper looked up the Project. It was guaranteed Bellamy would be paired with someone better than us, since we're the lowest of the low, if he was chosen. That right there was a good incentive to hopefully make our lives easier with me." She crossed her arms.

"I was thinking of him, though the added benefit of a friend in higher places wasn't not on my mind." She admitted and Bellamy clenched his jaw. He didn't like his mother admitting she was considering using this Project to get something out of someone higher up than he.

"Explain."

"If I never did this, you'd be tied to Octavia your whole life. I wanted to give you a chance at love…with someone. Give you a reason to move on with your life."

"Well, you sort of backed him into that wall…making him take care of me. How could he have left, ever, without him feeling guilty?" Octavia scoffed, seemingly more upset on his behalf than he was. He was just feeling a lot of things right now.

"I didn't want that for him. Love is the strongest form of change." She insisted, "I expected much from you, perhaps too much. I had hoped…" She frowned, "I turned out alright…"

"Except Clarke's pissed." Bellamy groaned, "I'm not surprised, but it's for sure not helping. I'm not mad, not really." He let his shoulders drop, "I just…where do we go from here now?"

"Well, I'd guess to an alter." Octavia threw out casually, which gained two hard glares and one half-choking laugh from her husband, "Kidding! Geeze…"

Across the Ark, Clarke was livid. She was shaking so hard by the time she got back to her house that she couldn't even open the lock on the door. Her tears blinded her sight, and she hadn't meant to cry, but she was so overwhelmed with angry emotions.

She slammed her door open, making an audible bang that echoed around the house. Her parents appeared quickly, taking in her red-eyed and tear streaked face, and Abby jumped toward her.

"What's wrong? Did Bellamy do something?"

Clarke was even more upset her mother had the audacity to think Bellamy would ever hurt her.

"Something's wrong, and it's you." Clarke spat, "How could you?"

Immediately, her parents realized what was going on. There wasn't any pretend that they weren't aware of what had happened today or how Clarke may have the means to figure it all out.

"Clarke, you have to understand what it was like years ago…the Ark, and it's inhabitants, they were tearing each other apart. We needed a solution."

"That solution was your children? You couldn't just figure it out like intelligent people? You had to sign away my life, my choice?" She demanded.

"I was against it from the start." Jake muttered, and Clarke almost gave him a happy look. Deep down, she knew it was more her mother's doing than her fathers.

"Oh, great, Jake. I'm the bad guy now, huh?" She turned toward him, tapping her foot, "Blame it all on me."

"It doesn't matter who did it." Clarke said, drawing her attention back, "It matters that you did."

"Clarke, we had to…for the good of the Ark, like we've always discussed. We needed to show Jaha our support and you-,"

"Me? The prettiest dog in the show or something? The prized poodle? Why me?" She asked in a strangled tone.

"Because of who we are, and thusly, who you are." Jake said quietly, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, it all worked you. You love Bellamy." Abby said, rolling her shoulders, "I don't see why you're so worked up about this when this changes nothing about it."

"Changes nothing?" Clarke stared at her, uncomprehending her words, "How can you be so…dense? Why does some government get to decide who I marry and when? That's bullshit!" She snapped, "What if we were going to break up? What if we had a huge falling out or I realized I'm really in love with Raven-oh wait, she's probably in the damn program too!" Clarke snapped.

"You had a way out." Her dad revealed with a long sigh, "If things went south…if you guys never fell in love…Jaha would break the contract, I made him promise. Only you, though."

Clarke scoffed, "Great…so I'm the pretentious princess everything thinks I am, really. I get the special treatment, how kind of you all, while all my friends are stuck in loveless unions with people they could never like. What about Miller, huh? How can his dad not feel like an awful person for making him marry a woman?" She demanded.

"Clarke, please." Abby said firmly, "You can't have it both ways. Why don't you start being an adult about this?" She questioned.

"I don't want it both ways. I wanted to be left out of this to begin with. I wanted to be asked. And, if I were an adult, I could change this whole situation, because adults have a choice. Apparently, I'm not even that anymore." Clarke raised her chin against her mother, squaring off.

"We thought at the time it was for the best. When you're a mother, you'll understand." Abby said softly.

"Oh yes, please remind me about how I'm forced to have a kid, whether I want one or not." In reality, Clarke had always wanted one, but she didn't need her mom to know that. She hoped they felt guilty, and she was glad when they both sent her slightly unprepared looks, but it was her father who looked like he got the wind knocked out of him when the words finally clicked in his head.

"What?" Her father's question was as sharp as a whip snapping in mid air, "A child…?"

"Did you not know?" Clarke asked, almost horrified but now feeling a bit relieved and hoping maybe her father would side with her, "I'm required to produce a kid within two years of my marriage."

"He can't…you don't…Abby?" Jake asked in a strangled tone, looking to his wife who seemingly was not surprised.

"Well, you didn't think it would be married and done, Jake. Even if I didn't know everything, I figured enough." She seemed impassive about it, which infuriated Clarke.

"I'm your daughter." Clarke said, tears streaming down her face, "Don't I get to chose when I want a kid, even?" She said.

"Abby, she's right…" Jake said now looking angrily at the older woman.

"It's a way to ensure these good ties remain. I thought you didn't want to be special, Clarke. I admit it's frustrating, yes, and I wish there were another way, but there's simply no better way. History has proved such." She sounded so…detached. As though Clarke wasn't her daughter but a random person, "It's for the good-,"

"Of the fucking Ark, don't I know?" Clarke shook her head, "You're disgusting."

"Clarke…" Her mother seemed to be at her wits end, "Look at it this way. Bellamy would have always been put into the program. He was too good of a kid not to mach with anyone. If it hadn't been you we put in, he would be marrying someone else right now. He wouldn't ever be yours. Perhaps you should be grateful."

This hit a particular chord within Clarke, and she felt nauseous. It was a low blow, bringing her feelings for Bellamy into this. She hated her mother was right, that the idea of Bellamy being with anyone else made her feel physically ill. She didn't want that. Instead of saying these things, giving her mother satisfaction, she swallowed hard.

"If I wasn't in this, I might have never known him at all." It was hard to admit that without tearing up, thinking she might have gone her entire life on the Ark without hearing one of his stupid jokes or having him teach her about a new constellation history or kissing him, but it was the truth.

"So are you saying you'd give your freedom in trade of Bellamy?" Her mother asked with cunning smile, knowing this was an argument she'd nearly won because Clarke wouldn't be able to answer it. That question was despicable to Clarke, personally, and she couldn't believe her mother would even ask that.

"Go float yourself." Clarke hissed before locking herself in her room, despite her mother demanding she come back and apologize and her father yelling after her.

Bellamy left his house, maybe to find Simon or Benny but maybe just to move around. He wandered near the meeting area house, but was surprised to find a figure sitting hunched over near the Earth Window alone.

He noticed it was Wells.

In one hand, the dark-skinned boy had a packet of ice, which he was pressing against his face, and in the other was a bottle of home made wine that he took deep gulps from. He turned, hearing Bellamy's footsteps. They regarded each other for a moment, neither saying a word. It was his lack of speech that made Bellamy feel as though it as an invitation to sit.

He leaned up against the viewing chair, glancing over at Wells who was staring a head.

"Didn't know you drank." He commented. Wells shot him a dark look. He realized perhaps that was merely circumstantial and all, "Ah, well, I would too." He said, shrugging.

Wells gave him a scathing look, lowering his ice pack from his bruising skin. His nose was cleaned up now, no blood left.

"I don't know what I expected to go differently, walking in there today, realizing what was happening. I sort of knew when Sarah told me to come." He sighed, looking at Bellamy's bloodied knuckles. Bellamy nodded.

"I don't regret punching you." He informed him.

"I figured."

There was a quiet silence. Bellamy eyed the wine.

"Were you going to offer me any of that?" He asked. Wells scoffed.

"Wasn't planning on it." He said, but then after a moment, tilted the bottle toward Bellamy because he was just a nice guy. Bellamy wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

"Was that punch for Clarke's honor or your own?" Wells questioned, raising an eyebrow. In reality, Bellamy hadn't taken the time to think through whom he was punching Wells for.

"I think it was for everyone in the group." He decided, which Wells seemed to accept.

"It's shitty, I know. This situation. But they were right; they do deserve to know whom they're meant to be with before hand, even if their parents weren't going to tell them. We're all legal adults now. They might as well know so maybe they can try to figure something out, at least be civil by the time they're married…"

"Like you did with Bree?" Bellamy surmised sarcastically, recalling how destroyed she looked when she realized her whole relationship might be built on scam and settling.

"Look," Wells said in a firm tone, "When I found out, I had a choice. Pine for Clarke for the rest of my life or choose to be happy. I chose the latter. You can fall in love with anyone if you set your mind to it. My feelings for Bree are real. Who cares where they started from?" He seemed as though this was a mantra he'd been telling himself all day. Perhaps he did believe the last bit. Bellamy didn't argue that you could care about anyone, maybe not love- that one was a stretch to him- but he also did think how things begun mattered. He knew he wasn't the only one who thought that way, after Bree's icy leaving today.

"I think she does." Bellamy winced, "Are you broken up now?"

"Well, that would make things difficult, since we have to get married anyway." Wells neither denied nor agreed, "You and Clarke? You didn't seem like two peas in a pod, despite that you're already dating."

"She has a right to be angry." Bellamy defended her, "And we're fine." Even if they weren't, he sure as hell wasn't going to let Wells know that.

"You would have won even without this." Wells said so softly Bellamy thought it was almost a mistake it was said out loud.

Bellamy locked his jaw.

"Clarke isn't a prize to be 'won'." He muttered.

"You would always win her over, I'm saying." Wells amended, "Perhaps I always disliked you so much because it's so obvious…it doesn't matter where or when, but you and Clarke end up together. And any life I exist in competition with you, it's hopeless."

"Well, if the theory is out there is that there's a parallel universe out there…there's bound to be one where I was killed early on or I was just never created or…who knows." Bellamy said, considering Wells words.

He gave a grim smile.

"A lot of times, I wish I was there."

They sat in silence the rest of the time.

Clarke could feel her parents lurking outside her bedroom door, their anxiety as palpable as a heavy fog. In between waiting, she could hear sharp whispers- but not actual words- of her parents, both fighting furiously among the two of them. She felt a little pleased, but then felt bad all over again because she used to hate when they fought so much. Even so, she didn't hear any grand apologies from her father or moves to fix this, so her hopes dropped a little.

Maybe they were waiting for her to realize that they were the adults, and thusly smarter than she, and although she was nearly 18 she was actually just a child who'd thrown a tantrum.

She scoffed. That wasn't going to happen.

Fed up with hearing them scuffle quietly past her door, she slammed it open and stalked toward the hall.

"Where do you think you're going, Clarke?" Her mother demanded.

Clarke turned with a petulant frown. "Out." She spat angrily.

She heard the screech of her mom's chair as she stood, but they didn't stop her.

She didn't know where she was going but running into Finn was possibly the last thing she expected, since he wasn't tied up in this at all. For the first time, she envied him. He was free to chose when and who to marry. He was devoid of knowing his parents sold his future like a common good.

But he looked upset.

He lived with Murphy, best friends with Raven…it was silly to imagine he wouldn't know.

"How are you doing?" He asked, seeing her face. Whether he'd heard back about her and Bellamy or he was good at reading people, he at least asked.

"Shitty. I'm angry." She answered honestly.

"Well, at least it's Bellamy." He said, frowning.

"Small miracles." She gave a dry laugh.

She looked at him. He seemed equally as upset too.

"You?" She asked. He looked up, and she sort of knew.

"I could never marry Raven." He whispered, pained, finally admitting his feelings for her Clarke had known he'd had all along "Her and Murphy…at least one of my parent's sons get to marry her." He muttered bitterly, "She won't talk to either of us. I want to tell her how I feel."

"To what cause?" Clarke asked logically, "For her to feel torn her whole life? For her to mourn what she can't have?"

"But doesn't she deserve to know?" Finn questioned, his bottom lip trembling, "Don't I deserve to know if she feels the same? A small consolation if I get nothing else?"

It was utterly selfish of him, but Clarke understood. She wanted to convince him against it, but Finn wasn't a bad guy. He was good, actually, really good. Good guys supposedly won, right? And if he wasn't, he should get something? But Clarke wasn't sure how Raven felt about him. She'd never asked because Raven never offered it. She wasn't sure Raven knew how she felt about him.

"So you're parents knew about Raven in the program?" Clarke asked, feeling bitter. Did everyone on the damn Ark know except them?

"Know?" Finn gave a harsh laugh, "They signed her up. Forced her mom to hold a pen long enough to sign and well, the rest is history. I get it through. I think they were worried one day maybe they might not be around either. At least with this, she'd be protected." He said.

"But they didn't put you in?" Clarke questioned, "Even though they knew that you and Raven might one day…" She trailed off.

Finn gave her a hard look. Because, perhaps like his parents might have foreseen, they both knew that although no one wanted to say it, maybe he wouldn't have even been matched with Raven because they weren't compatible together. He seemed to be frantically denying this fact himself.

"It doesn't matter." He murmured. At least his parents gave him freedom. He couldn't have Raven, but he could have nearly anyone else of his choice. If his parents had signed him up with the far away dream he'd be with Raven, and then he wasn't, he would have been trapped too.

"Are you going to be okay?" Clarke asked him. He gave her a strange look.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" He questioned.

"I'm probably going to be, so, you know…no need to ask." She waved a dismissive hand, "Griffins are resilient." She paused for a moment, "I should go. I think I need to find Bellamy."

Finn gave a long sigh.

"Yeah, good luck." He looked like a kicked puppy, "It's just a lot to take in tonight." He said softly.

Clarke chuckled.

"You got that right."

She found Bellamy in one of the most unbelievable of places; sitting next to Wells, passing a beer between them. Wells saw Clarke and got up.

"Clarke." He said, nodding quietly to her. She bit her lip. She wasn't sure if she was upset with him or not. She was a bit relieved when he made himself disappear quickly and she didn't have to decide.

She sat next to Bellamy.

"What do you and Wells have to talk about all of a sudden?"

"Take a wild guess." Bellamy said dryly, "I mean, he's going through it, just like us…"

There was a quiet moment, and Clarke twiddled her fingers.

"I'm surprised you came to find me, you know." Bellamy commented, "Usually it takes you days to work through anger."

"I'm still upset, but it was never with you. There's no reason I should avoid you." Clarke said, "It's more my parents. My mother is being an unbelievable ass about the whole thing."

"I'm sorry."

"Well, I didn't quite expect differently…" Clarke clicked her tongue, "Your family?"

"Octavia is ecstatic, understandably. Gloating a little, I'm sure. My mom is…well, she's just dealing. I think she feels guilty about not telling me…" He trailed off, furrowing his forehead.

"We'll make it through this, right?" Clarke asked softly, turning to him with her eyes low and scared.

"Of course we will. There's no reason we can't." He said, and this calmed Clarke. She leaned into him and watched earth before them. She wondered if they were on the ground if things would have been simpler?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was this what you expected? Didn't expect? Tell me you thoughts! Obviously we're pulling some strings of memories back to FARRR back chapters, huh? The entirety of it is coming together. As expected, next chapter will deal with reactions and pairs. I know sometimes I gloss over things but this is obviously too important NOT TO and I had some fun with it. You'll also obviously get to know the OCs a little better.
> 
> Also, have a Happy Halloween everyone!


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is the longest chapter I've ever posted on fanfiction for literally ANY fanfiction...just over 30 pgs. I guess I could have split it in half but it's everyone finding out about who they're getting married to in short little snippets so it's something you can easily stop at certain places...and it just didn't feel right cutting it off anywhere since certain snippets tie into each other and without it you might be TOTALLY confused or wondering where someone came from or whatever. So, yeah, here you all go...over 15,000 words of a chapter XD
> 
> Obviously this chapter has A LOT of characters thrown at you. I'm gunna try to post the link for the Photobucket here again riiiigh at the start of the chapter
> 
> This was an interesting chapter to write, mostly because I feel it's like those episodes in like Scrubs for example where the main character disappears and you get this episode completely from the POV of other characters...I felt like this was on a sitcom while I was writing this...hehe...

Project Iphiginia Photobucket Link

_13 Years after Start of Program_

It took Wells five months to convince his father to let him procure the couple's and who they were matched with. Some already had a fair inkling of it, demanding their parents told them. Some kids already knew, and apparently had known for years- Cadence, Al, Atom, and Karl.

"We were told it was like the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus…" Karl said quietly after the harsh backlash of realizing some people had known, "Although we knew the truth it wasn't fair to ruin it for others."

"But it's not like we knew everyone here was in on it. We just knew there were other kids somewhere on the Ark that were in the same boat as us." Cadence said and the other three nodded in agreement, which made everyone, feel a tiny bit better.

Al and Cadence hadn't even known their matches. Their parents had just told them that they were betrothed to someone and when they were 'old enough to know' they'd find out. Cadence said her parents were waiting for Jaha to drop the bomb on her wedding day. Al was pretty sure his parents just forgot to tell him one day.

Karl had known he was promised to Felice since he was eight. He hadn't told her, and she was a little upset, but they were hardly friends- even if he had known- so it wasn't like they had previously spent a whole lot of time together. Even now they were still jilted and awkward around one another, unsure of what to say or how to start a friendship built on eventual marriage.

Atom had known he was going to marry Roma since he was thirteen. He'd accidentally told her when they were both 14. She'd kept her mouth shut for a couple more years, but like most, she couldn't have guessed the faces she saw everyday were all a part of it.

The group tattoo now held a whole new meaning. To some, it was a reminder of a burden and they did the best to hide it. To some, it was a comfort that no matter how shitty they felt their situation was, there were 44 other kids going through the exact same thing.

When Wells did get the pairs, he was careful to put them all in individual envelopes and write the names of the recipient across the top. Clarke wondered about all the secrecy since everyone was getting matched to someone anyway, but Wells persisted.

"They at least should get a macron of privacy. The couples should be allowed to tell everyone on their own terms. Some of them might be hard to swallow." He said, frowning. Clarke bit back a nasty comment that he just liked being the only one that knew it all, that politicians thrived on power. She knew he wasn't like that, but she almost said it anyway.

So, he gathered everyone and handed out those envelopes one by one. Clarke had never felt such an anxiety looming in the air.

Some people tore at it like crazed animals, some did it carefully as though there was poisons inside that if they didn't open it right would sprout up and kill them, and some refused to look inside at all.

Bellamy and Clarke didn't get one. They already knew. They'd been dealing with it.

Wells didn't give one to Bree. They were still on rough terms.

Sarah and Tom obviously didn't get one. Sarah had almost come to terms with it.

"You know, he's been my best friend forever. I never looked at him in a sexual way, I guess, but if I had to marry someone from the group…or anyone, I'm glad it's him. Maybe they do know what they were doing. Inexplicably, we really work as a couple." She said, "So…when you guys find out, give it a chance." Many spat at her words.

And lastly, Brad and Zahira didn't get an envelope either since Zahira's birthday had been only two months after Sarah's and Brad's had happened early in the year and they were unceremoniously hitched just like their friends. They seemed to be doing just fine, but who really knew anything, Clarke considered.

"Maybe we should leave." Bellamy offered with a long sigh, "We can't do much here. If people need us, they know where to find us. Besides, Jasper and Octavia invited us over to dinner. Apparently, they have something to tell us." He said.

Clarke tore her gaze away from the faces of her friends. She nodded. She, more than anyone, understood that sometimes with this sort of news you needed to be alone.

_Wells and Bree_

Wells finished handing out the envelopes. He cautiously approached Bree, sitting alone. She looked almost longingly out onto the group, but longing for what he didn't know. He'd only just been learning how to read her shutout looks but they hadn't been 'a couple' since the news. They were two people that knew each other and knew they would be something in the future, and it was a rough place for him.

"I'm sorry." He whispered again, and he would for the thousandth time if it made her believe him.

"You'll need to say it just a thousand more times. Then I'll consider looking at you." She said stiffly. She'd grown so much from the terrified, shivering doe like girl his father had introduced him too all those years ago. She was still quiet, but there was strongness underneath it, a secret and violent current running through her body that made her formidable. When she fixed her chocolate gaze on you and scowled, it was hard not to give a shiver.

"I love you, really. I've never lied about that."

Was it so crazy for her to imagine that despite it all he had fallen in love with her? He loved the way she wrung her curls around her fingers when she worked on a project. He loved the way her nose crinkled when someone said someone stupid and she was trying to be too nice to say anything. He loved how when she slept she looked sort of like an ogre, because most of the time she was so perfectly put together (he'd never tell her that one though, he wasn't stupid).

Did he still love Clarke?

He wasn't sure. He still yearned for her, his heart still hurt when she smiled or when he saw her kiss Bellamy. If she one day broke up with him or came to him asking for a friend or a friends with benefits- and Bree was still acting like such- it would be hard to deny her.

What he felt for Bree was so much more though and he didn't know how he could get her to understand that.

"Don't say that now." Bree turned, her eyes smoldering, "Even if it is true, you don't get to say that now." She said sharply. He nodded in understanding.

"When?"

"When I decide." She said cagily, and pointedly turned away from him. He gave a long sigh but he knew he'd just have to keep trying.

_Miller and Harper_

Miller sat with his head in his hands. Until now, he'd almost wanted to not believe it. He'd put himself in a box, pretending like this was a really bad and long dream and he wasn't going to have to marry a girl and make a kid with her when the thought turned him off like nothing else. He pretended that he wasn't going to have to tell Bryan about it and they could still get married just like they'd always planned and would adopt some orphan and be parents like that. He pretended he wasn't so betrayed that his father and mother could have ever considered this since apparently they knew he was gay since he was 6.

There were a lot of truths he didn't want to face today, but was.

The envelope lay unopened on his desk.

Someone porously came and sat next to him; Harper. It didn't take a rocket scientist to put the two together about why she'd sat next to him.

"So, it's you." He said numbly. He took the paper and opened it, almost half-hoping it wouldn't say her name and it would at least be another guy. It wasn't.

He didn't dislike Harper, on the contrary, he found her to be within his close circle of friends. She was rough around the edges, took no shit from any guy, and had a ridiculous laugh that always made him laugh too. But she was almost like one of the guys- and not in a way he could fall in love with- and now he looked upon her face and all he could see was 'wife' stamped across her forehead.

"I'm really sorry." Harper fidgeted, almost looking like she wanted to reach out and touch his shoulder, "What does Bryan think?"

"He doesn't know." Miller muttered sourly, "I've…I haven't found the words to tell him. I have to now."

"Or not really." Harper said bluntly, "Look…I get it. You like the D where I have a V. It's an uncomfortable situation. I don't expect you to turn straight for me nor do I want to take what I know is love away from you. It never said in our contracts that we have to be one hundred percent faithful, just that we can't divorce. You can still be with Bryan, in fact, please still be with Bryan. And when it comes time to babies and that shit, well we know Clarke and of course there's way for artificial insemination…we'd never even have to…ugh, this is so bad." She said, cradling her head in her hands, "And I'm totally rambling."

"And I'm not really saying much of anything." Miller admitted, turning toward her. He gave a small hopeful smile, "Thanks. You're free to be with whomever you want too. I'll try to be a good husband though, whatever that means."

"I know you will." Harper gave an assuring nod, "After the moment of horror on your behalf about seeing your name, admittedly, I was relieved. You're one of the good guys." She whispered quietly.

"I still should tell Bryan. And let him decide." Miller said flipping the paper in his fingers, "Want to come with me? I could use a friend."

Harper gave a quick nod. "Yes, a friend." She agreed.

_Murphy and Raven_

"Well, it's nothing we already don't know." Raven said, flinging her paper reading 'John Murphy' across the table his way.

"Finn will be pissed." Murphy muttered under his breath. Raven didn't quite catch it. She looked up, tilting her head with question, "Nothing." He decided to sigh. Finn hadn't told Raven that he was so obviously in love with her. Maybe he would never do it now since this was so official.

"We've been dealing with it since we found out. This hardly changes things." Raven continued, playing incessantly with a piece of wire. It was little things like that to let him know how absolutely terrified about the whole thing she was.

"It changed everything, Raven." He said, feeling a little embarrassed, "We haven't spoken nearly as much since…"

He dropped off, looking away to hide his steadily reddening face. After the announcement last year, he'd been so angry. And he'd blown off steam by finding going and flirting with some hot girl from Human Resources that had been flirting with him for the past year. Raven had found them, and maybe he'd wanted her to find them, but nothing had happened between them yet. And instead of ending up with that blonde girl, him and Raven had had a fighting match ending up with sex. It wasn't hate sex, but it wasn't love sex either. It was just anger, unreleased need and steam, and a pinch of passion that both of them were denying. It had been his first but not Raven's.

And neither really knew how to talk about it after.

"Well, at least it was good. Really good." Raven said flippantly, which he thought was her way with dealing with it finally, "If we have to do that for the rest of our lives, I won't complain."

Murphy was usually the more forward sexual one, but he couldn't stop imaging Raven shoved up on that table and his mouth nipping down her neck. He was a little mad at himself that he somehow couldn't act like it was anything else. If he was being honest, it wasn't. It was _Raven._ He'd never explicitly told her, but out of everyone on the ark, she was the sole reason he was alive today in more ways than one. He didn't know how he could ever repay her for that.

"We have to face it eventually, John." Raven said sharply, "Look, I get it. It meant nothing. It didn't have to. We both needed a release."

He bit his lip. She was really wrong. It meant a whole lot to him, and not because he was sentimental about his virginity (it was, rather, an unfortunate weight previously) but because he was more than a little bit glad it hadn't happened with that blonde.

"We have years." He said quietly, "Before we are forced to get hitched." He said in a rough voice, "We can face it later rather than sooner. I just want to go back to friends. Is that too much to ask for?" he said angrily, but that wasn't the whole truth. He just wanted Raven to stop prying like this when he wasn't ready to admit things to himself. But he did want her, sexually and emotionally, but he'd be damned if he said that out loud.

Raven's face crumpled a little, but she nodded.

"I guess you're right." She echoed in a hollow tone, "We can figure it out later." She gave a forced smile, "Hey…I hear that they have red velvet cake in the cafeteria. We should go get some." She said, and got up before he could respond.

He gave an inward groan. John Murphy did again what he seemed to be really good at doing; fucking up perfectly fine situations.

_Monty and Monroe_

Monroe watched Monty sitting at the table. The envelope was open, so he obviously knew just as well as she did that they were…going to be married. The thought had a bitter taste to it, one she did not welcome. She hadn't really thought about marriage. She supposed one day she would, girl or boy, but it wasn't on the forefront of her mind. Now, quite unfortunately, it was.

He was looking with longing the spot Harper and Miller had vacated. It must be like getting the wind kicked out of you to see both the people you had a crush on being matched together. That was some kind of torture Monroe almost understood, because she loved Harper. Not enough to want to marry Harper, but enough to have her be her girl experiment back when they were younger. Harper was pretty much straight, which Monroe was okay with, because they'd never really used a label amongst themselves. Did they even need one?

She turned and left the room. Monty hadn't sought her out. He clearly needed to be alone. She did too.

She went to the guard station, laced up her fingers, and practiced her punches on the worn out punching bag.

Monty had been her guy experiment, way back when, at Wells' Unity Day Party. She had been harboring a tiny crush, but it hadn't come of anything, and she was okay with that. She'd always been rather casual with her flings, she hardly got attached.

It wasn't soon after he and Harper had started dating…hard. It was pretty secretive, only she and Jasper had ever known. They didn't want to bring it to the open, and she'd never gotten a clear answer why- maybe because Monty was still almost pining for Miller and wanted to keep that open or maybe because Harper didn't want it to be a big thing but they'd dated up until two months ago. All she'd known from Harper's side, although she was the one to break it off, was that her best friend had been devastated. How was she going to feel now that Monroe was going to marry him and have his kid.

She kicked the punching bag hard enough that her foot felt like she'd broken it.

"So, you're with Monty." Ana slid up next to her, "News travels fast. I'm curious." She said, and Monroe scowled at her. She went back to punching that bag.

"Hey! I mean, he could be worse. He's quiet but a nice guy. Real smart." Ana popped a gum bubble. Monroe wondered faintly where the hell she managed to get gum?

Monroe gave a harsh laugh, "That's like saying at least he isn't a serial killer. What a consolation." She said softly, "He's in love with my best friend, or she's in love with him."

Ana gave a low moan, "Tough break. You in love with anyone?"

"No. I'm not in love with anyone." Monroe replied testily.

"High five, girlfriend." Ana said, but Monroe didn't give one. She put it down with a scowl, "Makes things easier, then, right?"

"Makes what easier?"

Monroe and Ana whipped around to see Monty standing in the doorway, looking a little lost, "Uh…I guessed you might be here." He eyed the punching bag warily. Did he think she was going to punch him.

"I just remembered I have this totally important thing. See ya." Ana popped out, leaving them alone.

"We kissed years ago." Monty said first, spilling out.

"Uh-huh."

"It wasn't awful."

"Nope."

"But then I started dating Harper." He said after, "I didn't even ever…"

"No, I didn't want something. And she loves you."

Monty's face contorted, as though surprised. He looked so deeply wounded for a second, "Loves?" He repeated, shaking his head, "I love her too."

Monroe ran her hand over her face.

"Well isn't this a shit show?"

_Dax and Trina_

Trina scowled at the name on her paper. She wasn't even sure how to react to this news.

All she knew is that Fox was never going to let it go, and that she wasn't sure she was ready to handle.

If she was being honest with herself, she'd found Dax attractive for a couple years. Not 'in love with him' attractive, but in the sort of way she was with at least five other guys in the group and ten outside of it. If she had to marry and have a kid with someone, thank god it was a person she already had a physical attraction to.

Fox didn't like him, which was fine since she obviously wasn't matched with him. Always said there was something unnerving about him, but Trina didn't see it at all. Dax had been nothing but courteous to any of them and although he was quiet he wasn't strange. Or it he was he was good at hiding it, which at least showed that he knew he was strange and that was something Trina could work on.

So in all, her day could have gone much worse. She could have been matched with Al or with Sterling, who in her mind looked like a twelve-year-old.

She just wondered what she'd tell Pascal, her on-again-off-again boyfriend, now that there was a paper with their names together and it was sort of real and everything. Or, since he was in the Sky Box as of two weeks ago maybe she wouldn't tell him at all…and just stop visiting. It wasn't an honorable thing to do, heck it wasn't even nice. But Trina was still very much a child (she realized; she didn't care) letting the situation just gently fade away was such an easier option.

She locked eyes with Dax across the room. She let out a breath of air; this meant she probably had to talk with him, didn't it? Fox's eyes were bugging out across the room as she realized that they were matched, and she was making 'abort' signals with her hands. Trina rolled her eyes, what was the worst that could happen with him? Besides, they had to talk at some point considering they were to be wed for the rest of their lives.

Dax almost seemed shy and he waited for Trina to make the first move.

"Hey, Trina…" He nodded, "So…hi." He was unbelievably unprepared to deal with this.

"We should probably…talk." Her words came out as a little less than a hiccup. Not an encouraging way to begin.

"At some point, yeah." He agreed. She stood around for a moment more, waiting for something else. He gave a long breath and cussed, "I'm not really wooing you, am I?" He questioned.

"Well, since we're already engaged, I don't think you have to." She said, hopping on one foot, but she was pleased all the same he even thought of that part of it. She wanted to like him. She didn't want to be miserable in her marriage the rest of her life.

But they could take baby steps. They didn't interact much before, so at least now they could start that process. Maybe this was all she needed today.

"I'll see you tomorrow then, yeah?" She questioned, "Maybe have you over for dinner to meet my parents soon?"

"Yeah, that would be nice."

And that's where they left it. As she reminded herself, the greatest of love stories happened gradually.

_Fox/Sterling_

Fox watched helplessly as Trina strode confidentially across the room to greet Dax, who was undoubtedly her match.

"Tough break for Pascal, huh." Sterling commented, scaring her out of her skin.

"Jesus, Ster!" Fox hissed, "Give me a hint or something, and wear a bell."

"Wonder if she'll even tell him." Sterling said glumly. Pascal had been a good friend of his and he'd been a little down since Pascal had been caught stealing food; and not just a negligible amount, but he'd literally tried to steal an entire cow. If Sterling hadn't come down with a cold, he could have been thrown in the Sky Box too. It was a shitty plan, but Fox never claimed that any of them were smart.

"She won't. We know Trina." Fox said giving an agitated growl. She loved her best friend but often being the more mature of the two left her feeling like she was mothering her over being her friend. It was inevitable to do it a little, though.

"I came over here to ask if you wanted to open it together." He said, waving his envelope about. She hadn't touched hers either.

"What, you scared?" She teased, fingers tracing the taped edges.

"No, just wary. This is literally life-changing, don't you know." He said matter-o-factly.

"It was bound to happen for most people; the whole shebang…it's just the partner that changes." Fox pointed out, but more so that she liked to contradict Sterling whatever chance she got. It was funny to see his face turn red and his mouth gape around as he tried to form an argument.

"Kidding." She said, "It's hard for me to keep a straight face. I'm in this too." Fox admitted. The jokes only went so far, this was a little hard to deal with.

"On three? Open each others?" He said, taking hers from her hand placing his where it had been before.

"Okay…one…two-hey!" She said, because he'd already torn it open at about one and a half. She ripped his open too to catch up.

"You know I'm shit at following directions." He said and slid out the paper. She did too. She held back a snort of laughter as she read her own name. She looked up and was pleased to see the same amount of humor on Sterling's face too.

"Well, should we even be surprised we were matched?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Probably not." Fox agreed.

"The two youngest of the group. Seems right, I guess." He agreed, continuing with his 'logic' of their match.

"We get along swimmingly, you know. At least we don't hate each other."

"Other than moving in together, eventually having sex with one another, raising a kid…what really changes between us?" Fox questioned.

He realized it was half irony, but at the root of it, some of it was true. Being married didn't have to erase friendship, but hopefully made it stronger. He threw his arm around her, a familiar motion and to her credit she didn't flinch back at all, knowing now that each touch between them would start to mean a little bit more and more. But in this moment, he was glad that she took it in stride. Her nonchalant attitude made him feel a bit better, because in all honesty, what 17-year-old guy wouldn't be freaking out about this whole thing? He let out a long sigh, and even as he imagined them together- her helping their kid with his or her homework while he cooked dinner before they sat down to watch a movie and he realized he wasn't disgusted- he wasn't totally all there yet.

"You're right Fox, we don't have to change a bit."

_Atom/Roma_

Atom and Roma split pretty quickly after they got their envelopes. There wasn't even much of a need to open it. They'd been discussing it for years now, openly, with their families.

They thought about sticking around to console their friends, but then Roma pointed out after she found out the last thing she wanted was sympathy because there wasn't anything that could be done and they weren't in the mood to be punched by anyone.

"I'm glad it's not us." She sighed, looking at Atom, "That we knew."

"If I hadn't found you kissing Grennon a couple years back, it might have been."

"Yeah…" Roma winced, recalling. They'd been at the Unity Day party like 3 years ago, and it was a year after his parents had told him. He'd been focused hard on Roma after that, trying to reconcile that this was his future wife…and she was just so care free, she didn't know. They were already friends, but he hadn't really planned on telling her…until he decided that he was going to try and kiss her that night-his first kiss- and came around the corner to find her and Grennon awkwardly kissing (as all young teen kisses undeniably were).

They'd fought, he'd gotten angry, she'd asked why he cared so much that she was kissing Grennon and he'd blurted out 'because you're betrothed to me'. He was instantly horrified, of course, and Roma asked what 'betrothed' meant and Grennon unhelpfully supplied the definition while Atom just wished a hole in the ground would swallow him up.

Yeah, that was a rough start.

But at least they were past it now.

"I'm glad you told me." Roma said, as they walked the familiar paths they took often, back to her place. On one hand, neither wanted to muck up their friendship by acting hard on it, but now…from her calculated looks toward him, she seemed to be thinking he same.

"This is defiantly happening, the marriages. Two couples have already been married." He said, which of course was common knowledge, but he still felt the need to say it out loud.

"Uh huh." Roma agreed, "It's not just magically vanishing. So maybe…" She turned toward him firmly, "We're getting married and having a kid. That's for sure. So do you think-,"

"We should kiss?" Atom asked out loud and he blushed, looking away. He saw Roma seemed just as embarrassed, but not uncomfortable. More just…shy. This was a small relief to him.

"Yeah, basically. We are going to cross that bridge eventually, apparently five years from now or sooner, if we choose. We might as well…"

Atom turned toward her, taking her chin under his finger and lifting it softly as he leaned down to kiss her, gently and chastely. She'd done more, he'd witnessed her French kissing with Grennon on that fateful night, but something about this…he felt the need to do it right, it seemed. Innocently. He didn't want to make it about the fact he did think she was pretty and he wasn't dreading the idea of marrying her. He hoped she wasn't expecting something more, but luckily she leaned back, and watched as a smile grew on her face.

"That was a good start." She said decidedly and then tentatively took his hand in her own and they continued their walk.

_Sarah/Tom_

Sarah and Tom sprawled out on their ratty lawn chairs-an engagement gift from Sarah's parents and clinked their glasses of ale together with a light tap.

"To us, and not having to go through this BS all at once." Tom said, crossing his legs and chuckling.

"To an actually okay marriage so far too." Sarah agreed, and chuckled, "Are we soul mates? Don't know if I believe that anyway, but I think we're _okay_ together."

"Yeah," Tom agreed, "Maybe it will get better with time?" Sarah shrugged.

"Even if not, I think what we have is more than some people ever do."

"And, it's not like we had other choices." Tom said, "Was the last guy you dated…Tobias?" He questioned.

"Yeah, a whole three years ago. And last girl you dated…stars, I can't even remember."

"Let's get one thing straight," Tom snorted, "What I did wasn't 'dating'. It was just physical."

"Exactly. Even if we had a choice, I think, and we just had to get married by our 25th or something we might have come to the choice of choosing each other anyway." Sarah gave a dismissive wave of her hand, "By logic."

"I considered that too." Tom agreed, "Love is cool, I guess, by mutual respect and understanding goes for a lot as well, if you can't have love."

"Oh! Tom, look there." Sarah said excitedly, pointing through their sort of hidden vantage point, watching Dax leave with a giggling Trina behind him.

"Oh, well then." Tom winced.

"What? You think that match was a mistake?" Sarah questioned.

"I just don't like Trina." Tom said, scrunching her nose, "Have you ever heard her laugh? It sounds like a dying cow."

"And…?"  
"Just her laugh."

Sarah let out a breath. "I guess I've hated people on less." She said, since her and Tom had agreed to have a zero-shade relationship with each other. If one had a problem with the other, they were going to say it out right instead of doing the idiotic dancing around thing that people in love did. Also, they happened to be two judgmental people and they were going to tear apart the entire world but never each other. They'd realized that within three days that even if they were best friends it would never last if they didn't put down ground rules like that.

The biggest point of contention between the two of them, and they were still trying to work that one out, but it wasn't something that could be fixed easily if they tried, was that Sarah was agnostic and Tom was firmly planted in religion. They'd sat down and at least discussed their moral boundaries with each other, tried to find common footing between what they believed- devoid of religion- and so far this worked. But if they were going to be married and have a kid one day, they couldn't ignore it forever. But, Sarah wanted to leave that for another day, not now, when they were almost thriving in this relationship…whatever form it actually was.

"What are you two doing?" A clipped voice asked. Sarah looked up, shading her eyes as though they were sitting on a beach in the sun instead of a dingy space ship.

"Ah, hello Zahira. Where's Brad?" Tom greeted with an overly friendly tone.

"What does it look like we're doing? Watching the parade." Sarah waved a hand in front of them. Zahira gave Sarah a confused look.

"The couples or people coming out, after reading their envelopes, of course." Tom clarified, "Better than TV."

"Making judgments about the couples, how long they'll last, how long it will take them to bone…you know, normal stuff." Sarah finished.

Zahira looked caught between giving them a disapproving look and looking slightly interested.

"That's not…guys…" She gave a small whine.

"Who are we hurting? We might as well enjoy this shit show." Sarah pointed out, "And rejoice in the fact that we're past this stage. Would you have wanted to find out today, if say you were both younger, and then have your problems brushed aside because everyone else is going through it too? See, the good thing about getting our matches sprung on us is that we- and you two did as well- got oodles of sympathy and such. No one will get this now, not so many." Sarah said.

"I didn't want sympathy." Zahira sighed, and then sat between their chairs, "How do you know when a person is a couple?" She asked, watching a group of four leave at once.

"Guessing, a lot. We could be wrong on some."

"For every couple we write down and get right, we're going to spend extra money on nice meals. You know, justify it a bit." Tom said.

"How many of these couples so far do you think will last?" Zahira said, taking the list and looking over it carefully, "How much of this do you think the council might have known what they were doing?"

"Worried about your own marriage?" Sarah asked quietly, dropping her usual abrasive personality once she realized her best friend was troubled.

"A little." Zahira's lip twitched, "We knew each other as good friends before, all of us, we were a group." She pointed out, "But what if that's not enough? What if we're not all that compatible, when it comes down to it? It's like I'm just living with a roommate right now."

"Well, have you two-,"

"No!" Zahira's eyes flashed, "Why, have you two?"

Sarah and Tom looked at each other and shrugged; to them, they'd agreed to at least try each other out once before making choices. It was easier with no emotions, and they were more like extremely-close-friends-with-benefits living together.

"I think that might be part of the problem. You obviously want love in your relationship. I don't know if you two will fall in love, but you're defiantly not going to get there by holding out on each other." Tom said, "Go big or go home. Throw everything into this or none at all."

"Hey, that was actually good advice, Haggar." Sarah nudged him, "Poetic."

"I try."

"I don't know how to initiate anything. What does Brad like? You're his best friend…you must know what sort of things he finds sexy." She turned to Tom.

"You." Sarah snorted, and Zahira looked a little whiplashed, "It's not like he's been hopelessly in love with you, but I mean you're on his list of the girls in the group he finds the most attractive. I don't think I'd worry."

"Do you know how to make him fall in love?" Zahira asked, and Tom chuckled.

"If I knew how to make love magically appear," He said, looking up at Sarah, who knew where he was going and was nodding, "Don't you think we'd be trying to make that happen?"

_Felice/Karl_

"I still can't believe you never told me." Felice was angry all over again looking at that piece of paper.

"When was I supposed to do that? We don't have the same friends; you're two years younger than me. Was I supposed to weirdly approach you at the lunch table, tell you right there, 'hey-we're getting married one day' in front of everyone because your friends sure as hell wouldn't let you wander off somewhere strange with a guy who hardly talks to you? Yeah, that would have been much better." He snorted, getting real tired of being blamed when it's not like he asked for any of this.

"You could have made an effort." Felice argued, "Waited for me after class, or something or-,"

"Stalked you?" Karl gave a humorless laugh, "That would have gone over really well, sweetie."

"Don't call me sweetie." Felice said sharply, "It's obviously condescending. Childlike." She scrunched up her nose.

"You're only 16. You basically are a child." He said, running his hands down his face, "I'm a glorified babysitter right now, god damnit."

"You're only 18. Please, get off your high horse. Back on Earth you might have JUST only been an adult. And as it is, you're only newly one…if you're this arrogant all the time…" She threw her hands in front of her, "I seriously like can't do this."

Karl shuddered, "Slang is awful." He muttered.

"I don't see how we could be matched, literally." Felice said slowly, shaking her head.

"Usually, I have faith in certain things, such as I did when my parents assured me that they spent months deciding this pairs." He looked at Felice with a locked scowl, "But now I'm not so sure."

"I couldn't agree more." She said, stalking away.

"Where are you going?" He called after her with exasperation.

"The hell away from you!" She responded, and he scowled, walking away the opposite direction too. He didn't really want to talk to her either, but he was trying to be a nice future husband. Clearly, he'd just stop trying right now.

_Toby/Ana_

Ana took little ceremony in opening her package. Toby Mos. She looked across the room with an appraising gaze. If she'd been asked to pick someone out of the room to marry one day, she doubted Toby would have been on that list. She knew little about him, but then again, did anyone? He rarely spent time here as it was, after it was required, and who were his friends?

At least he wasn't a loner-loser. He just was…artistic, she decided. And he knew how to dress himself properly for a guy, which was appreciated. Well-dressed men were a plus to Ana.

She was pretty sure he did something utterly boring and safe in theories or calculations or something. What a snooze. She hoped he would be a more exciting person in reality than in his career.

She got up from the table, grabbed his arm, and drug him from the room. The first empty classroom, she pushed him in and closed the door.

She began to take her shirt off.

"What in the hell are you doing?" Toby asked, squinting at her, but didn't seem terrified of boobs or women. If she was put with a total virgin…she shuddered at the very thought. He just seemed, confused. She could work with that.

"I think it's obvious. We should have sex." She said.

"Like…now?" He looked at the chairs, "In here?"

"Well, is your house open? Mine isn't." She said, shrugging off her bra.

"No. But why?"

"Do you not want to?" She asked, raising an eyebrow, and Toby remained quiet, "Do you have abs under there?" She wondered out loud, "I mean, we're going to be married. I've never done it with you, and I want to know where we stand. Am I actually going to be satisfied the rest of my life. Girls care about this shit, obviously." She said.

"They say you're blunt." He muttered under his breath, "This is how you want to get to know each other, then?" Now there was a lilt of amusement to his voice.

"Yeah. Do I have to do everything, Mos?"

"Hey, I'm a straight guy-,"

"Thank you for confirming."

"-And no straight guy would turn down sex usually, but here? A quickie?" Toby gave her a hard look, "If you're going to be my future wife, shouldn't we do this right?"

Ana perched on a desk, scowling. "Who cares about 'right'? Ugh, don't tell me you're the emotional type."

"Hardly." Toby ran a finger across a dusty desk, "Just maybe somewhere a little less…childish."

Ana tilted her head, "What are you thinking?"

"Well, we might as well ring in a shitty situation right, I figure." He said, chuckling and showing all his teeth in an almost feral smile, "Somewhere…interesting."

"I'm all ears."

Toby turned to her, laughing. "Have you ever done it on the council table?" He questioned.

"How in the world do you suggest we do that?" Ana said, putting back on her shirt, "You're joking."

Toby shrugged. "I have friends in high places."

"Thank god, you actually do have friends." She said, "I like the way you think, Mos." She said, slapping his arm, "Tonight, then?"

"Midnight." He agreed.

"Well, as far as it's going so far, I have few complaints." Ana said, nodding to him before heading off.

_Brad/Zahira_

Later that night, the night after everyone else found their matches, Zahira watched Brad cook dinner while she tended to their many plants about the house. One of the basil plants looked like it was beginning to wilt, which upset Zahira, since it had taken years of working at her job to be allowed to take such a plant home. All her other plants were flowers-more here for their loveliness instead of actual use. A basil plant was extremely valuable, though, since it was used for cooking.

"So what? Our pasta is a little less appetizing." Brad said, seeing her concerned face.

"You know it's more than that, Bradley." Zahira groaned, having used to dealing with this less pleasant side of Brad since marrying him. She had gotten good at reading between the sings of him; such as when he really did care about something was being an ass because that's all he'd ever been or when he really didn't care about something. He might not care for her basil plant in particular, but she could tell he cared about her and her own feelings about this plant.

"Yeah." He agreed, but that's all he said. They were…working on it. Opening him up. Showing him how to use more than just nasty jabs to make connections. How to emphasize with people, something he was really not good at. She knew that he was still looking at her like she was crazy, since plants were nowhere near on his list of importance.

"It would be like if someone you were working on in the Medical Bay was dying for some unknown reason and you couldn't save them at all, even though you'd begged to be allowed to work on that case." She said finally, seeing him still furrowing his eyebrows.

He paused mid stir, and then gave a more understanding nod.

"That would really suck." He agreed.

Zahira let the plant go and sat at the table, since she saw dinner was nearly ready. She'd have to bring it into her supervisor tomorrow. She feared that it wasn't getting enough attention here since all she could afford was one small heat lamp. Perhaps she just had to realize that all the best things she wanted in her house, regarding plants, couldn't ever be there because it just wasn't the greenhouse.

"Although, you know, it's still just a plant. If it dies, meh…now a person-,"

"You were doing so well, Brad." Zahira said dryly. He winced.

"Should of kept my mouth shut?" He guessed. She nodded.

"Sarah and Tom think we should sleep together." She said casually, and watched his expression change. Unexpectedly, it hardly did. She got the feeling perhaps they'd told Brad this shortly after she left today, or maybe another day entirely, "You've heard it too."

"They think it's strange, since it has been months." He agreed, "In normal circumstances, I might agree…"

"These are not normal circumstances." Zahira finished, which had been much of her own thoughts.

"And if we did, I'd just fuck everything up." Brad said softly, and gave a smile, but she could tell from the way that his smile didn't quite reach his eyes that he was trying to swallow sadness.

"Why?"

"You know me…" For the first time ever, he looked unsure of himself, less confident, almost venerable, "I'm an ass in real life, think of how I am in the sack. There's a reason most of the girls I'd been with didn't want a repeat with me."

"What, you're selfish in bed too?" Zahira gave a little laugh, but then saw his face. Damn, that's exactly what he meant, "Couldn't you try to be, I dunno, more accommodating?"

"I wouldn't know how?" He said honestly.

"I could…stars," She ran her hand down her face, "teach you?"

There was a moment of silence before Brad let out something between a laugh and a choking sound.

"How sexy."

"So what, we're just never going to have sex because you don't want to mess…what up, exactly?"

"Our friendship." He said uncomfortably. Zahira felt a little whiplashed. _What friendship?_ They were 'friends' but only in the most basic, of senses. They'd hung out in a group of kids their age in the friend group, but until they'd been married, Zahira wouldn't have picked him to do friend things with likely ever. They were civil to each other, true, and it warmed her but still terrified her a little to think that how he was to her he considered to be so vastly different from everyone else, because as far as she was concerned he was still pretty shitty.

"We have to eventually." She finally found words, "We have to make a kid."

Brad flinched visibly.

"I'll probably fuck that up too, you know." He said, "Look…I'm going to go to bed. Can you clean up?"

"Sure." Zahira agreed, watching him leave with a frown. Well, at least she knew that he didn't hate her, which she wasn't sure about until today. Did it change much? Not really at all.

_Benny/Stasia_

"I'm very perturbed to be matched with you, you know."

That was the first thing his future wife said to him. Benny, in every situation he'd been imagining, could have never guessed that.

"Why? I've literally done nothing to make you hate me. We haven't even ever done anything." He said, raising an eyebrow. Stasia blew a strand of hair from her face.

"That's exactly why!" She said, throwing out her arms. Benny stared at her blankly. Well, not completely blankly. He was thinking that his teenage self would have been thrilled at his match. His adult self was still sort of thrilled, but it was concerning him that he wasn't as excited as he thought maybe he should be. Stasia was a bombshell, a sex goddess (according to many guys) and what sort of guy wouldn't want that? So why didn't he?

"You and Bellamy are the only two guys in this entire group I've never gotten any sexual favors from; actual sex or other things. Having two out of a number, fine, I can live with that. But obviously now I have to have sex with you and that will leave just one person I've never had and that is pretty much failure." She explained.

Benny snorted, "Does kissing him against his will count?"

Stasia threw him a hard look. "Kissing? What are you five? Obviously, no!"

"Well, I guess you'll have to learn how to deal with that, huh?" Benny smirked, "Since yeah, you'll never get him."

She simmered, "Why didn't I ever have you until now?" She asked. Benny shrugged.

"Bellamy doesn't like you much. You know that. I'm his friend. You might be hot, but you're also sort of poisonous." He said. She looked genuinely hurt.

"I don't mean to be poisonous." She said quietly.

"I guess it comes with the territory." Benny said, but felt little sympathy for her, "So what happens with you now? That you're getting married. You never seemed like the type to settle."

"Neither did you." Stasia huffed, "If we compare numbers, I'd say we're evenly matched for conquests." She pointed out, to which Benny agreed was a fair comment, "But I'm not cheater. I guess I continue up until our wedding date, and then I'm done. I have some morals."

"Well," Benny said, leaning far back on his chair, "We pretty much never interacted until now, I don't see much of a reason to continue until our impending nuptials." He said.

Stasia just raised an eyebrow.

"We continue our lives, enjoying as much of it as we have left."

"Someone who understands." Stasia muttered under her breath with a sigh of relief.

"And, a bet, maybe." Benny said, "From today on, whoever bangs more people before our marriage get to…name our kid. Whatever they want."

"I would do it just to beat you in a bet." Stasia laughed, "What counts? Does it have to be our opposite gender?"

"If you can get a girl, sure. Intercourse for a full point, hand jobs or blow jobs for half points. Can only count each person once. Deal?"

"Oh, you're so on, Edl." She said.

"Great." Benny said, standing, "Well, I'll see you at the wedding. May the sexier win."

_Armin/Jovana_

Jovana did her damn best to avoid the situation entirely, and she managed…for nearly a day and a half. But apparently Armin was determined and he actively sought her out. They clearly had two different ways of dealing with things.

She'd done a lot of thinking since she'd found his name looking back at her. That's basically all she'd done, and all she expected to do. She was the queen of over thinking situations.

Mostly, she was upset that Marv had to die…for this. This was the secret that was so awful that he was ultimately floated. It seemed so stupid. It seemed so unfair. The more she considered it, the more she got angry. The more she wanted to hit Armin (although it was just as much his fault as her own, meaning exactly zero) but she wasn't in control of her body's actions completely right now, so best if she avoid him.

In the illogical part of her mind, she hoped if she never acknowledged this again the situation would simply dissolve away.

That wasn't happening.

Her parents had been unending about it, trying to get her to open up. It was times like these she almost wished she had a dad, instead of two moms, because then at least one parent might just ignore it all and continue reading the paper instead of hovering with her feelings (that's how she thought dads were…weren't they?). Instead, she had two mothers witch meant that they both came to her alone to try to get heart to hearts, which Jovana just clearly wasn't in the mood for.

She was pretty much set with being alone forever, or at least until the wedding.

Armin had different thoughts.

"Jovana?"

She dragged a hand along her face, sighing in resignation.

"Jo." She corrected, "Call me Jo. Anyone that's close to me wouldn't call me my full name…and we're apparently pre-engaged, so…" She said.

Armin's face flushed, "Right, Jo…" He tried it out. It sounded strange, her extremely personal nickname coming out of his voice. She hoped time would smooth the jagged way it rolled out of his mouth, "I wanted to talk to you. I'm not unhappy with the match."

"Are you telling the truth?" Jo gave a harrumph, "I know what they call you- The Great Liar."

"It's unavoidable sometimes." Armin admitted, "I just lie without thinking a lot of the times."

"Well, that won't work." Jo snapped, "Not if we want to be something more than just two people together in a house, hardly speaking. You remember Marv, my best friend, who was floated?"

"Course. We were all… yeah." He said.

"Well, they warmed him not to tell me about this, about our match, about anything. He could have gone along his merry way and never spoken of it, not until this day came when we were matched, and he'd still be alive. But the truth between us was more important than his life. So if you can imagine, truth and honesty is pretty damn high on my list of what I wanted in a guy. If you can't be 100% truthful with me, then we aren't gong to ever be more than passing acquaintances." She said, holding his gaze, and then finally sighed, "A truth from me; I don't want that. I want to imagine one day we'll realize why we were matched and be happy. Do you want that."

"Yes. I swear, on my honor." He said, crossing his hands over his heart. Jo gave him a hard look, "I'm not mocking you. You'll have to trust me."

Jo scoffed.

"I want it too. I have trouble with lying, but I will try my best to not lie to you. And if you really wanted to know, which I guess is important for you since you're going to be my wife, my tell is that my jaw clenches when I lie, unconsciously. You'll always know."

"Tell me two truths and a lie." Jo demanded, studying his face. He looked at her like she'd gone crazy.

"This isn't one of those ridiculous girlfriend tests, right?" He murmured uneasily.

"No, oh," Jo realized, "Lie once, now. I want to make sure the tell wasn't a lie. Or lie on all thee. I don't know."

"Fine…I'm a Sagittarius, my mother loves me more than she loves pretty things, and if I were an animal I'd be a puma."

His jaw tensed twice.

"Not a Sagittarius?" She said, tilting her head.

"Nope, Taurus."

"And the second…?" She was almost afraid to ask. He gave a humorless laugh.

"See, this is how you'll just…know. I want to believe my mom loves me over material things. I try to make myself believe she wouldn't' sell me for a rusted, but still almost shiny, bracelet if she could. But I can't lie to what I know deep down. I said the second with every drop of sincerity I had and it wasn't enough. Convinced?" He stared her down. Jo swallowed hard, being slammed with a lot of personal stuff about him all at once, a little heavy for their first meeting.

But it had done its job. She believed him. Believing a liar was almost like believing the devil, but despite it, if she didn't she'd never be happy.

"I am." She agreed, "So…are you a virgin?"

"Of course not." Armin sneered, but his cheek twitched. She giggled and he turned red a second later. She was beginning to see the better aspects of this newfound knowledge. Maybe she could have a little harmless fun…

_Simon/Uma_

"On three?" Simon asked, turning around to face Uma, looking into her terrified eyes.

"On three." She agreed, nodding slowly. Both of them were shaking so hard you'd think the Ark was experiencing a random and impossible earthquake.

"Before we start, whoever you end up with, I'll try not to kill him. I'll tell him everything you like, all your favorite songs and silly romance novels." Simon said quietly, painfully trying to imagine anyone else listening to Uma read to them or singing along to the radio with her when her parents were being awful.

"And I'll try not to be nasty to the girl and tell her everything she needs to know about Charlotte to get her to approve because your sister is the most important thing." It equally pained him to imagine anyone else interacting with his sister outside Bellamy or Clarke in the way Uma did. She'd just gotten visitation rights this year and Uma was an instant favorite.

"You'll still have to visit her. She likes you far to much for you to just vanish." He whispered softly.

"Of course." Uma looked horrified at he thought she wouldn't, "She's my sister too now."

"On three." Simon repeated, and Uma nodded. She counted off. On three, they both ripped open their envelopes and Simon almost cried with relief when he saw Uma's name written on the sheet.

"Oh, thank god…" Uma said, using the rarely used phrase to express her utter relief, and threw herself against Simon so hard he fell backwards onto the ground.

She kissed all over his face, not even caring how much PDA they were exhibiting on the ground of the grimy meeting room, not caring that other people around them were opening these envelopes into what seemed like the end of their lives where for them it was merely the beginning.

"You, get a room." Murphy nudged them as he passed, but Simon looked up with a wide grin on his face to see Murphy nod to them, a tiny sign that he was relieved at least someone was happy. He wasn't as much of an ass as everyone thought he was after all.

"Maybe we should." Uma said in his ear, her arm snaking around his waist, "I think it's rightly appropriate…" She bit on his neck softly and Simon shivered.

His whole body went rigid at her soft touches, and he wanted nothing more than to throw her over his shoulder and carry her to the nearest empty classroom, but he resisted the urge of making such a big spectacle. Instead, he grinned, and stood while offering her his hand.

"Maybe some champagne too…This for sure calls for a celebration of the best kind."

_Kieran/Matt_

"So…K…"

"This is a bloody inconvenience!" Kieran said, reading Matt's mind before he asked the question. About how she was dealing with this, and all, "Marriage isn't exactly a great pick-up device for chicks, you know." Kieran muttered.

"We don't have to tell people we're married." Matt said comfortingly, "I don't expect you to."

"Like people won't know." Kieran sent him a scathing look, "Sorry, I don't mean to snap at you. I'm just so…arg!"

"Yeah, I feel you, K. Hey, look it at this way. We can go out and be each other's wingman…or women. Compare girls. Work as a team."

Kieran gave an emotionless chuckle. "You seem a bit more excited about it than I do."

"I'm optimistic. There are worse people I could have been put with. Even if you and I will never get along sexually, we get along everywhere else. I didn't think I'd get everything in a perfect marriage. To me, like 9/10 of the points ain't bad. And, I'll find that 10 percent I don't get other places. Did you ever think that people could be simply compatible without putting sex into the equation?" He asked, looking at Kieran, "That soul mates don't have to be romantic?"

She was giving a small, pensive smile. "I like that idea."

_Cadence/Grennon_

Four days after finding out he was matched with Cadence, Grennon was sitting through what might be the most awkward dinner of his life. He usually was under the impression that a situation wasn't awkward unless you chose to find it awkward, but then again, he'd never been where he was now.

His parents and Cadence's parents had thought a joint dinner between the two families would be a splendid idea and now the six of them sat in the cushy Alpha station apartment that Cadence lived in, eating pork chops and drinking wine.

It was uncomfortable because, firstly, he'd never seen such extravagance before. It was uncomfortable because his parents and Cadence's parents were chatting away, in their own little world, as though they've been best friends for years. It was awkward because none of their parents seemed to notice that their daughter or son had hardly spoken a word to each other and would be anywhere else- even the Sky Box- right now if given the option.

Cadence looked like she'd sucked on a lemon the entire time.

Finally, Cadence glared at him.

"I don't get it." It was the first time she'd really acknowledged he was even there. He didn't care much, he wasn't too fond of her, "We are…complete opposites. What was the council thinking? How could I ever be matched with someone like you."

He knew exactly what the 'I' and the 'you' were referring to, and it was thoughts he'd had too. Cadence was prim and strict within her rules. Her father had once been on the council, her mother currently was, and Cadence was being groomed and prepped to be a perfect little political figure one day- likely take her mother's place when she retired. She had probably never broken a rule in her life and found those who considered rules to be non-existent uncouth.

Grennon, on the other hand, was pretty much the other side of the spectrum. If there was a rule somewhere, he'd probably broken it at least once. The only reason he hadn't been caught and thrown in the Sky Box yet was because he wasn't dumb. It was like something he read in an old book once about the murders back when earth was still a thing; only the dumb murders got caught. Not that he'd murdered anyone…there were some rules that he hadn't broken, for the record. Murder, torture, rape…those things were't even rules to him, they were guidelines about being a decent human being, and so it's not like he was out to break those.

But he digressed, where Cadence was going to spend the rest of her life doling out floating or Sky Box sentences for smoking unauthorized weed or distilling moonshine and distributing it without a permit, Grennon was going to spend his free time doing exactly that. And then Cadence would have to question if it was worth it to turn in her husband, the father of her future kid, just to be 'good'.

Watching her squirm made him a little bit okay with the situation.

"I used to be a goody two shoes, you know. Back when I was like five, around the time we were matched. I was the star pupil of my class. Perhaps that's it." He said, thinking back to the days where he never turned in a late assignment, never skipped school, thought weed would kill you or lying was the worst thing you could do.

"What happened?" Cadence turned her big eyes on him, looking at him curiously now.

Grennon smirked. "I got intelligent." Cadence scowled.

"I think it's smarter to recognize that certain rules are in place for a reason and aren't suggestions." She said icily.

"Well, we both know I have the smartest IQ of my grade, and it's only slightly below Raven's- who is the smartest person in the group- and we both know she's not a perfect person either, so tell me…why would we both come to the same conclusions if we're so smart? Rules are for those that need guidance in their life. I'm not one of those people." Grennon leaned back on his chair, placing his arms crossed behind his head.

"You're delusional."

"You gunna turn me in?" Grennon mocked, looking right at her, and when she shifted uncomfortably and didn't answer, he nodded, "Of course you won't. Because if I get floated for being such a deviant then people will start to wonder how in the world you got matched with me, if it really is about compatibility, and that would ruin your political and social standings, huh?"

"I've never actually seen you break rules. I just know you do it." Cadence snapped back, but from the fire ignited in her eyes he knew he'd guessed at least along the lines of the truth.

"So you're just going to pretend it doesn't happen, or wait to catch me in the act. If that's the case, you never will." He said with assurance, "I don't fancy dying."

"Fine, if that's how we have to make this work, then whatever. You do you, but you don't let me know about it. I'd have no choice, you know, to turn you in." Cadence warned.

"You'd have a choice. You'd just be unable to keep your pride if you didn't." Grennon shook his head, correcting her, "But, deal. For all you know, I'll be the most perfect rule following little husband."

Cadence gave him a look of disbelief.

"I'll believe it when I see it…"

_Leslie/Hendrick_

"Well, hello, Soulmate." Hendrick said cheerfully, directing his comment to Leslie as he sat next to her.

"Hello, future-perfectly-curated-spouse." Leslie replied with just as much brightness. Brad, who was also at the table, made a gagging noise.

"Your adorably half-sarcastic half-happy greeting is cringe worthy, you know?"

"What?" Leslie asked with wide, innocent, and also extremely mocking eyes, "You don't greet your wife like this?"

"Shove off." Brad muttered, pushing her gently.

"Yo, hands off my love muffin."

"Thank you, Cuddlebum."

Brad made a bigger choking noise. "You've known about this for what, ten minutes?"

"Yeah, but we guessed ages ago." Leslie shrugged, "We're trying to be the most obnoxious we can be."

Brad cringed.

"Well, it's working." He said.

"Oh, come on." Hendrick said, nudging him, "You gotta laugh about it a little? Otherwise we all, what, sit here and sulk about it?"

"You won't be laughing when you're actually married next year." Brad said, "It's not a laughing matter then!"

"We have a year to figure it out." Leslie said with a shrug.

"Hey, Leslie." Fox said, leaning over from another conversation with Sterling, "What do your students think of this?"

"Oh, they're delighted, you know? Think it's funny. It's where I got the idea to take it with a grain of salt, be able to joke about it. You know, after the whole crying in my room response ended."

"Do they know its Hendrick?" Sterling asked.

"Not really, but they have a poll on the side of the board. No one guessed him, which I'm surprised since he brings me lunch once a week and I bring him another day every week. Apparently, Kane is the number one contender."

Brad nearly spit out his drink.

"Kane?" He said, shaking his head in horror.

"Well, I never claimed third-graders were intelligent, or logical, but whatever. I mean, he isn't married and theoretically if they were doing this politically…I guess it's not the worst guess. Better than one lone kid's guess of Chancellor Jaha."

"Ew…" Sterling said.

"Remember when Kane showed up like three weeks ago for his annual teacher drop ins?"

"Stars!" Leslie looked mortified, "Yeah, I had to explain to him why his name- along with Jaha's and like five other people from this group, were on the board with a percentage by it. He didn't find it quite as funny as my children did." She said dryly.

"I'd imagine. Has that guy ever even smiled?" Hendrick pondered.

"Heck if I know." Leslie said, "All I do know is that ninety-two percent of the class will very disappointed they're missing out on getting a cookie for not guessing Hendrick."

_Marten/Caylie_

Out of everyone in the whole group, Jaha did a bang up job of picking the singular person that Marten wasn't too keen on getting. It was the one person that he hadn't spoken a word to, not for a long time, and even if he did it probably wasn't anything other than a passing apology as he bumped into her. He could hardly be blamed; they called her the Ice Queen. Clichéd, obviously, but at least no one minced words with her stony exterior.

She made her intentions toward others well known; she'd never had a best friend, she scorned most away from every trying, and he's pretty sure he's never seen her crack a smile…just ominously calm.

Caylie Gottlieb…what the hell had the people making these matches been thinking? He knew she'd laughed at his nervous, shaking leg or his wandering attention more than once and that right away rubbed him the wrong way. If she had ADHD, perhaps she wouldn't be so quick to make such comments.

And she just seemed so…juvenile. He was five years her senior and although it was the same age gap between Bellamy and Clarke, Caylie just seemed infinitely younger and stupider than Clarke. He forgot all the time Clarke wasn't even all too old, and he forgot (when he took time to think of her, on a rare occasion) that Caylie wasn't all that young.

Even now, she sat, the letter tucked into her back pocket and unopened, not a care in the world. She was reading, alone, the way she supposedly liked it. No one came to ask her about her match. The only person who interacted with her regularly was Clarke, because Clarke was nice to everyone, but she and Bellamy had split pretty much right away.

He stood, trying to find the words to say to his future wife as he strode over to her. Yet, feet from her back, arm almost out to tap her shoulder, he paused. It didn't take long for him to decide to turn around and leave her sitting still alone and for him to head back home.

He couldn't find anything to say to her even if he had tried.

_Marisha/Keshawn_

Marisha pulled back her tears. She'd cried the day her marriage application was rejected, that first time. She'd cried when she found out she was going to be married off to an intangible someone, but someone here, and not Harry. She'd cried when she confronted her mom about it, who was sorry but alas nothing could be done. Her mom loved Harry; it had hurt her too to remember she'd been put through this.

She opened her letter slowly, trying to decide if she was truly ready for this.

She glanced up. About half of the people in the room were gone. Had people left without looking? Had pairs gone to discuss things? Were the people left all she had to choose from?

The letter was in her hand before she could think, and she glanced down and saw the name without even trying to read it.

She swallowed back some bile.

Keshawn Hill.

He had a good enough job, a doctor. He was intelligent. He wasn't unattractive. There wasn't an outwardly reason to dislike him, other than the fact he wasn't Harry. But she knew him. They were only a few months apart, but he was a year younger. Yet it was close enough and he had enough 'friends' within her year that she saw him at parties or other places…if he came out, ever. Usually Brad goaded him into it.

It was his…personality.

He had an air of arrogance about him, which she supposed when you were chosen to be a doctor- one of the hardest jobs- wasn't unexpected. Yet it was that he was arrogant about everything, and if someone misspoke even a little about a detail, he's swoop in from wherever he was eavesdropping with a grand, "Well…actually…" and thusly. And in general, he was sort of unfriendly. If he had a friend, the people that broke through his exterior, he was apparently a nice guy. She wasn't sure she believed it.

She sucked in her gut and walked over to him.

"Hey, Keshawn…" She started quietly. How does one talk to their match? Is it casual? Proper speak? Do you pretend like you've been married forever or like it's a first date? Would he take her on a date? Would he try to romance her at all? A thousand questions poured into her mind, ones she hadn't wondered until now.

He was working on some things for his job, and gave a small grunt; the only indication that he even acknowledged her presence. She sat down with a pout; her finger nails tapping against the table.

"We're matched." She stated, in case he wasn't aware. He nodded quietly, but he was still working on his papers. She waited a pause, "Shouldn't we talk about it?"

He finally looked up, surprise filling his eyes, also a flash of something unexpected. Clearly talking to his future wife wasn't one of the things he thought he should be doing right now.

"Is this a bad time…if you're really swamped…" She began, because she didn't want to be a nagging wife.

"Not at all. More of a menial distraction." He said, but didn't stop. His answer was curt, and she was sure that she could extract more about him from his shirt than what he was telling her verbally.

There was an extremely long pause and finally he looked up, frustrated. With her? Maybe.

"My birthday is in two weeks. Since you are older, I expect that's when we'll be married." He said, and then turned back to his work, leaving Marisha with her mouth hanging. She wanted him to comfort her about this absolute bomb of knowledge, but he seemed like he'd said what she apparently had been bothering him into saying and that was done.

It was almost three whole minutes before she realized that he wasn't going to continue talking to her, at least not today, and she had enough pride to leave before she got angry.

"I suppose I'll see you then." She said evenly. He didn't even make a notice.

Walking on unsteady legs from the meeting room, it all hit her in a tremendous rush. She was getting married to a stranger, practically, in less than a month. She was going to give up everything, give up Harry for good, in a month. It was unreal.

She sucked in a harsh sob.

"Are you okay?"

She turned, unaware someone else had come to the secluded area near the meeting room and she felt embarrassed someone had seen her in such a state, until she realized it was someone familiar.

"Want to sit?" The person asked, "I uh, my mom gave me some wine…I think it was an apology."

"Yeah, I do." Marisha said, and sat beside Benny Edl.

"Who are you matched with?" She asked.

"Stasia." Benny said, and she searched for his opinion within his singular answer. She found she couldn't find one.

"Oh, well…that's…she's…at least the sex should be good, or what I've heard." She kicked herself mentally. That was a pretty bad thing to say, but it's not like her mind could produce much else. Benny chuckled, nodding.

"Yeah, so I hope. I've never been with her. Wasn't going to. Guess the universe is intervening, or something. But it's not like I'm a virgin either." He said, turning a dark stare on her.

"I know." Marisha snorted, "Maybe putting the two most sex-crazed people together wasn't a bad thought."

"We'll see, I suppose." Benny said, "Are you okay…? Who are you with?"

"Keshawn…I feel like I'm marrying a brick wall." Marisha said, furious, "In two weeks I'm going to be marrying a guy who won't speak two words with me, and not for lack of trying. I'm being forced to give up Harry for this guy?" She threw out her hands and chugged some of the wine. Benny's eyes widened.

"But you and Harry…it never said anything about infidelity…" He sputtered, "We all love Harry."

"Harry doesn't want to be with someone who's going to be married to another, no matter if I don't love the guy. Besides, he broke up with me as soon as he learned about the project. He didn't want to be tied to someone who, as he put it, was almost like dying or something."

"Oh, geeze…"

"I gave my whole teen years to him. And in the end, he still sort of turned out to be a scumbag. I thought he really loved me. But I can't blame him. Maybe it would be too hard for me too, if we were switched."

She paused, sliding the wine bottle back to him.

"Do you want to talk about it more?"

"No, not at all. It's actually the last thing I want to think about, much less talk about." She said sternly, "By the way, I just…I never have gotten a chance to tell you, but I'm glad you stopped dying your hair. I like the red. Reminds me of my dad."

"Yeah, I think black was good for my 'self-loathing-teen' vibe, but It's expensive and so much less of a hassle…and your dad had red hair? I thought you were-,"

"Half black." Marisha rolled her eyes at him, "Mum's black, Dad's pretty much 100% Irish, or so he claimed- that's probably BS with the lines of Irish people actually left on the Ark and all- but, yeah. Recessive vs dominant genes and all."

"I didn't know that." Benny's eyebrows furrowed, "I'm sorry about him, by the way. I can tell you really loved him."

"I did." Marisha whispered, "But it's been five years since he died. I don't' even think about being sad anymore. Or, I didn't. I do wish he could be at my wedding though, whether it be to Harry or Keshawn or a three-legged monster."

"He's there, in spirit." Benny said confidently, "He wouldn't miss it for the world."

Marisha blinked back tears. "I'd really love to believe that, Benny."

_Al/Teal_

"Whatcha listening to?" Al slid up next to Teal, and she frowned before taking off her headphones.

"What?"

He looked uncertainly at his hands, tapping his feet. "I asked what you were listening to." He repeated, "You know…"

"Oh." Teal seemed a little taken aback, and almost looked like she didn't want to answer him, then figured she might as well begin to form a bond with her future spouse, "Like a Stone by AudioSlave."

Al's eyebrows furrowed, "I've never heard of it."

She gave a toothy grin. "That's why I like it. Everyone knows certain songs here on the Ark, the ones used at all the parties, the ones parents sing- like all those Beatles songs. Classics. I enjoy the eclectic things. The stuff the original grounders had on their personal ipods that not everyone enjoys."

"I guess you could say that's a mirror to your personality." Al observed, raising a knowing eyebrow.

"I know what they say about you and what they say about me." Teal stiffened, "So what do I care about what other people say. As long as your feelings don't get hurt at every comment I make, we'll get along okay."

"I know what they say about you too." Al's eyes narrowed, "And if you can stand to act like we're out of high school, I'll get along with you."

Perhaps if anyone else had said that to her, Teal might have decked them. But something about the confidence Al had going about it made her just laugh.

"So, you really had no idea it was me, but you knew." She questioned.

"My parents told me when I was five, told me I didn't need to know. Like I said, I think they just rather forgot. But I never did, I just never asked again, thought I had to reach a certain age…" He paused, frowning, "I've spent as long as I can remember, staring at every girl I passed, wondering if she was the one. It drove me mad."

"Did you ever look at me?" Teal asked.

"Every girl, Teal, literally every single one six or so year on either side of my age. Even if it wasn't long, I know I must have, at one point."

"And do I match up?"

"I wasn't expecting anything." Al threw his arms onto the table, "I couldn't even begin to. So, yeah," He chewed on her question, "I guess you do. You can, or will."

Teal nodded quietly, and then, in an act of a truce of something, or a start of a friendship offered him her headphones for just a moment.

_Jezelia/Lazurus_

Jezelia decided to make a game of it, sit back and let her soul mate come to her. Or, see how long it took. See if they did at all. If she were a responsible person, which her mom told her often she apparently was not, she might open that little letter and go seek him out herself.

She wasn't afraid, far from it. She was buzzing with anxious excitement to find out. She wasn't much into dating, but knew she wanted to settle down eventually, so this whole deal wasn't the worst thing in the world for her. She'd often wished they still had those antique dating 'sites' that the earth used to have, where you plugged in a couple things about yourself and viola, it gave you a match that apparently fit 'you'. This was that, but she hoped more precise. Honestly, it was perfect.

She watched people leave, some angry, so happy, some without emotions. She was dreadfully curious to know everyone else's couples, although she supposed soon enough they'd know. She saw her best friend, Felice, fighting with Karl to the side and tilted her head. Were they matched? She couldn't be sure. Felice wasn't read for all this yet, though, Jez knew. She was woefully immature. Luckily they were both in the youngest age group so it would still be years before they'd be forced to wed. Felice needed that time. If her spouse allowed it, Jez might be fine with marrying sooner rather than later. She enjoyed her job as a chef, creating food for the lower station masses or sometimes catering to higher station families, but it was luckily a job that could allow her to come and go, have a child soon. She wasn't all too concerned about her career as it was.

Slowly, with two hours, the room emptied. Eventually, it was just her and one other person- Laz.

She chuckled, waving to him across the room. He waved back. He was four years older than she was, but she knew him enough to have decided he was a really cool guy. He had an award-winning smile and always made the people he was with laugh. Something about him was just pulling, it always had been.

He took the initiative and sat with her.

"What are you still doing here?" He questioned.

"Sitting, waiting for my soul mate I guess." She shrugged.

"Me too. Wanted to just wait it out, I suppose." He stretched back and then mid way he almost fell out of his chair.

"What?" She frowned, "You okay?"

"You don't think…" He asked, eyeing her envelope.

"That because we both just sat here waiting for the other person that means we're matched? Maybe our significant others, both of them, just don't want to deal with us right now. Maybe they hate us."

"Well, isn't there only one way to find out?" He asked and slid his own envelope to her.

"I'd almost rather just wait."

"Too bad." He said, because he'd already taken hers from her hands and opened it. He chuckled. She frowned, leaning over, but he waved it away from her.  
"Oh, it's Keshawn." He said.

"What?" Jez almost choked. He was sort of a jerk, and not really the talkative type. That was her soul mate. She tore the his paper open to see who Laz was matched with, hoping it was equally awful, and found…her own name. His laughter lifted over the paper.

"You jerk, it says your name, doesn't it." She said, rubbing her hands over her eyes, "Why'd you give me a heart attack?"

"Couldn't help it!" He was bending over giggling at her response.

Jez took the papers from their hands, throwing them on the table. "Does this mean you're going to use an awful pick up line on me now?" She asked.

He stopped laughing, "My pick up lines are not awful." He frowned, and in that moment, she realized he truly thought they were good. It was known around the ark that Laz's lines were the worst, borderline charmless, but he had such a funny attitude the rest of the time it was forgivable.

"Eh, stars, I can't believe no one has ever told you but buddy, they suck."

_Clarke/Bellamy_

"I hope everyone's okay. Maybe we should-,"

"Clarke, just for a second stop mothering." Bellamy said, "They'll find us when they're ready. Do you remember how you didn't want to talk to anyone after we found out?" He reminded her. She frowned.

"Yeah." She sighed through her nose; "I just…I wish Wells had given me a list beforehand. Prepared me. I could have helped, done more…"

Clarke was feeling incredibly guilty about the whole affair. She'd gone right to Jaha after finding out, since she usually had a fair amount of pull with him. He often had a hard time saying no to Clarke, expect, apparently, now. While he felt terrible that some of the children, such as Miller, had developed other likings he firmly stated that he couldn't back out of such rules now, because there were factions that already thought he was a weak and spineless ruler. It told her more than he probably should have been telling a nineteen-year-old girl, but it didn't make her sympathetic. She'd tried to get around the rule in every way, such breaking her own contract (since she could) and marrying Bellamy anyway, but then felt guilty that she'd be the only one not bound to it and couldn't do that to her friends. She was only really going to go down that route if she freed everyone. She thought maybe if she bothered Jaha enough, then he'd relent. That was her next idea. So far, that had come up useless as well. It was just so awful all around and she rarely felt so helpless.

"Clarke, there's nothing you can do. If there's nothing Wells or Candice can do, there's certainly nothing you can." Bellamy's voice was pained, but accepting. He didn't like seeing one of his best mates pushed into a completely loveless marriage more than Clarke, but he understood better than Clarke did how the riots were starting up again, making ripples under the surface. He understood, although he didn't like it, how Jaha had to stand up and appear strong instead of caving. He wished things were different. He wished that more often that Clarke knew.

"And if Simon and Uma aren't together, I swear to god, I'll riot." Clarke added. Bellamy sent her a look.

"They'll be together. Thery're like you and me." He said confidently, "That much I can know."

They approached where Octavia now lived, and found her sitting in a common area chatting and laughing with a couple other girls.

"O." Clarke said, unable to call her Melody in public, but since her name was Mel _o_ dy, no one really had ever questioned it.

"I'll see you later guys, I'm hosting these lovely people tonight." Octavia waved goodbye to the girls.

"Bye Mel! Love you!"

"See you tomorrow, Jordan, have fun tonight!"

The chorus of love notes came and Bellamy couldn't help but give a wide smile.

"Who were those?" He asked as they walked back to her place.

"Oh, just some new friends. We're all brides that married at the age of 20 or younger. You know, we all understand what it's like." She shrugged casually, "Not that I don't love your friends, but these are mine alone. Plus most of yours are grumpy lately, you know, not that I can blame them."

"They got their matches today." Bellamy agreed.

"What?" Jasper heard as they opened the door, "They heard…do you know who Monty's matched with?" He asked, ringing his hands nervously.

"No, I'm sorry. We didn't stick around. He probably is just opening it now."

Jasper looked torn, and Octavia patted his shoulder. "We'll find him tomorrow. We should let him deal with it himself. Or he'll come to us tonight." She said comfortingly, "I'm worried about him too."

"If it's not Harper…" Jasper and Octavia shared concerned looks.

"Harper?" Clarke couldn't help but blurt in confusion.

"They've been dating under the radar for years. They broke up but he's still so in love with her." Jasper said.

"And she with him." Octavia jumped in, "It's obvious if you know how to look. And since it's all female/male matches, he can't have Miller, he likes Miller, you know-."

"Yeah, we knew that one." Bellamy said, "That one was clear."

"Anyway, we hoped it was Harper…" Jasper gulped and then trailed off, "Nevermind. We have an awesome dinner cooked for both of you. And we should just enjoy tonight, and all." He said. Octavia nodded enthusiastically.

"We did tell you we had news, after all." She said, "Come sit down! I made it."

"Oh, god, you made it? Thank god I have a doctor here with me." Bellamy joked. Clarke hit him.

"She's getting better." Jasper said, "I mean, I helped though…"

Octavia sent him a half-glaring, half-amused look, "Way to insult me, bud. You could have just let them think I'm actually getting better."

"You know I love you."

"The food?" Bellamy said.

Octavia held up a finger and came back from the kitchen a second later with a warm pot of gourmet mac and cheese.

"Six different kids of cheese…" Jasper sighed contently, "With bacon!"

"Yum, I'm down." Clarke said, and her stomach growled.

"You know, I think this might be one of the best meals ever." Bellamy agreed, taking a totally heaping portion. Everyone did, really, since none of them were particularly small eaters. Octavia though, was just scarfing it down.

"You're going to choke, sis." Bellamy said, "Slow down. God, that's two helpings already!"

"You're not mom." O said with her mouth full, giving him the finger, "Plus I'm eating for two."

There was a shocked silence. Bellamy froze mid bite, Clarke covered her moth with her hands, and Jasper just rolled his eyes, then Octavia burped. "Well, I was going to come out with that more tactfully, but yeah, that's the news- I'm pregnant."

"We had this whole speech." Jasper sighed, "It wasn't meant to be as…you know." He made a hand motion, wincing, "So far, you're the only two that know. Oh, besides your mom," He pointed to Clarke, "But doctor-patient confidentiality and all. We just found out yesterday, for sure."

"Oh my god!" Clarke shot out her seat, coming around to hug Octavia, "That's so exciting! Bell, you're going to be an Uncle!"

"And you an aunt, don't forget." Octavia nudged Clarke, "You're a part of the family too."

"We weren't…planning it." Jasper said, because Bellamy was staring him down like he was trying to smite him, "But we also weren't…not planning it."

"And since my birth control was faulty as fuck, well, yeah. Abby promised after this obviously they'd try a more surefire method because honestly I just forget to take the pills all time, which is sort what led to this." She pointed to her stomach. Bellamy just groaned into his hands.

"Bell, be happy for her!" Clarke chastised. He finally looked up.

"I am, I just, you're so young…." He winced.

"I'm also married, you ding-dong." She said, putting her hands on her hips, "And what, did you think we were celibate?"

"A guy can hope. Anyway, you need to be taken off the guard right away."

Octavia snorted. "No way. I'm not dying, I'm not fragile, I'm pregnant. Up until women normally leave work, I'm staying. I'm not even in real danger for a long time. This kid is like a month old at most."

"O…" Bellamy whined.

"You and Jasper are both insufferable! It's not like I'm even all that far along!" She turned to Clarke, "You're a doctor. Am I fine to continue work."

"Well, yes. But obviously try not to spar, since we don't want anyone hitting your stomach, and don't do anything reckless. And once my mom tells you to take time off, you stop working."

"Aye-aye, Doctor Clarke." She turned to her brother and husband, "See?" Both just gave half-hearted grumbles of acceptance.

"Are you excited?" Clarke asked, and Octavia nodded.

"I wasn't sure I'd ever have kids. Up until I married Jasper, I don't know if I ever contemplated it. I don't think I had contemplated it really until now. But it's coming, and I already do love it…boy or girl. And this life…it's so good. I don't feel as bad bringing a kid into it compared to if I was still in Factory Station."

Bellamy nodded in slow agreement with her statement. "I think you'll make a…interesting mother."

"Bellamy, oh geeze." Clarke rolled her eyes, "Don't listen to him. I think you'll both make great parents." She said, turning to Jasper as well.

The rest of the night was finishing the rest of the large pot, followed by chocolate cake for dessert, followed by a loud game of Clue. It was basically impossible to play a board game with both Bellamy and Octavia without them ending up screaming at each other over something stupid.

When they left, Clarke noticed that Bellamy was extremely quiet.

"What do you think, of that?" She asked.

"I'm just still reeling a little." He murmured softly, "My baby sister…pregnant. I mean I knew it might happen one day, but…it feels too soon…"

Clarke licked her lips. "Does it make you upset that we haven't…" She coughed, "And you're sister apparently as enough to make herself pregnant? You know it's not that I don't want to, stars, do I but…"  
"It's a strange situation that my sister that's so much younger is married and with a kid before me." He said, "But no. I get it. We just don't have the time, between my mom now working from home all the time and your parents never away long enough…and you said it before, you don't want your first time hurried in a broom closet."

He was quiet for a second, "If we got married, we'd have space alone. And it's going to happen anyway so…"

"No." Clarke said quickly, and then winced, "Fuck, it wasn't supposed to sound like that." She drew in a long breath, "When we marry within two years we have to get pregnant. I'm not ready to be a mom by the age of twenty, or even by twenty-two. I had a plan, Bellamy. I had my entire life all worked out before this stupid law. I was going to marry you at the age of twenty-five. I'd be far along as a doctor to be able to leave and such for a honeymoon and to be able to see you instead of getting awful hours. I was going to have a kid at twenty-six, preferably even twenty-seven. Old enjoy to feel like I might know how to raise a kid, young enough to be able to see them grow up completely, meet my grandkid and maybe great-grandkid one day. I had a plan."

"And now…" Bellamy finished for her, "We get married when you're twenty-two, latest you can have a kid is twenty-four."

"Which is a whole year before any of that was supposed to start! I would have been fine marrying you at twenty-one, I decided a while ago. Even then, I still wouldn't have wanted to try for a kid until I was twenty-five. I just don't feel…I feel so young, still. How can I had a kid when I don't even know how to deal with simple things yet?" She questioned angrily.

"I don't know." Bellamy echoed, "Hell…"

"I'm sorry." Her voice broke, "I know you want to marry me, I know that we both want more, I know that…I just…"

"Clarke, shush. Don't ever apologize for that. It's not your fault. It's fine." He pressed his lips into her hair, quietly comforting her, "Clarke, I love you, that will never change. Whether I marry you a day from now or five years, if that's what you want. And I could never force you to carry a kid before you're ready. I get it."

"We'll get there." Clarke whispered, "Just not today." Bellamy grinned wide, and seeing him smile made Clarke feel better.

"I intend to make sure of it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHEW If you read all that in one sitting I commend you and you should get a medal. Hope you enjoyed it. What couples are you liking the best? The least? Any that surprised you? Any that scare you? I'm seriously dying to hear your thoughts!
> 
> In exciting news, a reviewer wants to translate this story into French! I've never had any of my stories translated and that's a huge honor for me, so you know who you are, and you're the best :)
> 
> I've been writing A LOT lately, so for those of you that read other stories of mine I'm almost done with new chapters of Prota and Green Games.
> 
> And O is pregnant! So, I sorta have some headcannons about her and Jasper's ahem married life if you'd like to hear them, because I'm not writing it from their POV
> 
> *I think that since there's no rush to the relationship now she wouldn't have sex right away on their wedding night. She's never really been able to have a relationship before and the most her and Jasper I think could do was fondle a little bit. I also think the fact that on earth she was doing those sorts of things right away was a little unreasonable, since we can assume the first time she's even KISSED a guy was Atom when they got to earth. I can sort of excuse it because everyone thought they were dead anyway, she was sort of in rebellion against Bell, and everyone else was doing it so peer pressure a bit. But I think if she didn't have those factors she'd want to take it slower, which in no way do I think means she loves Jasper or whatever, I think it makes their relationship ultimately stronger.
> 
> *Jasper obviously never pressured her, but I don't imagine they were all giggly and hesitant around each other. When they did things, and basically everything but actual sex until probably two months before this chapter, they were both passionate about it. They're just those sorts of people
> 
> *I like to think that one day they were having a couple's dinner with Raven/Murphy and Monty/Harper and Jasper was making a joke and turned and smiled at O and she was just hit with how much she loved him and it was just surreal for her for a second that she could be here safety and her life had turned out so good and she just knew she wanted to jump him that night. She probably was a little vixen so underneath the table started running her hands up Jasper's leg to make him choke on his food and such. Monty, since this is of course his best friend, knows when his BFF is turned on and knew what O was trying to do and got very uncomfortable. Harper, Raven, Murphy had no idea and wondered why Monty suddenly looked like he wanted to dig his eyes out. O spent the rest of dinner totally casually talking and such, like nothing was up, seeing how long it would be before Jasper couldn't take it anymore and made some harebrained excuse to get them back to their room. ;) If Bellamy knew any of this, he'd vomit and eat some bleach immediately.
> 
> So, please review! Hope you liked the chapter and my little headcannons there lol.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know it's a Wed that I'm updating this but I have a few reasons
> 
> 1) Obviously, I didn't update last Thurs. I had two projects due and everything for class I was like one day behind on. I finished this chapter sometime during the weekend and then I was really going back and forth wether to post it right away but I decided to wait because I knew I couldn't produce another chapter with my time by this Thurs and I didn't want to mess up the schedule. Wish I had a way to tell you all
> 
> 2) Tomorrow I'm going to be so busy. I have an art final due that I still need to finish tonight (currently it's 3 am), another class, and I just started a new job and I got a surprise shift added on for tomorrow last minute, I have to clean my whole apartment because my fam is coming to visit on Fri and I'M GOING TO THE NEW HP MOVIE AT MIDNIGHT! So yeah, no time XD
> 
> Btw like everyone was so thrilled to see Atom last chapter? I didn't realize he was such a favorite character lol?
> 
> This is a more Murven-centric chappie. How you all like it :)

13 Years after Start of the Project

When Bellamy is between Clarke's legs, everything else in the world falls away. They steal moments like this when they can, usually at Clarke's house because at least if her parents show home early there's a door between the two half-naked teens and her parental units that will inevitably save them from a whole lot of embarrassment (she's experienced it once at Bellamy's and never again). It is difficult, because yes, if she could have it her way, she'd marry this boy. But then there's the whole child thing and she accidently set popcorn on fire two days ago and that tells her pretty definitively that she's not ready to be a mother, at least not yet.

But when Bellamy give her that smirk and slides his hands up her thighs, she thinks it's almost worth it, that maybe it would be fine and between the two of them they could manage keeping a kid alive even though they're so young because it would be worth it to just have Bellamy like this all to herself all the time with no fears of interruptions. Especially when Bellamy's in a good mood, it makes him so giving. Clarke hardly can complain. She usually pays him back later in turn. They still haven't had sex yet, but everyday Clarke grows more impatient and she knows it's inevitable.

He crawls up next to her, wrapping his arms around her. Her pants are somewhere on the ground and Bellamy's shirt has been thrown on top of her bookshelf. His belt is gone and his pants sag low on his waist, so tempting. He burrows his nose in her hair as she sits in euphoric bliss.

"Was that good?" He asks. Clarke scoffs at his question. They'd been together, how many years now? Sometimes, she lost track. And he'd had at least half of those years to figure out what Clarke liked and didn't like (and Clarke wasn't shy to tell him) yet ye always had to ask, as though he'd disappointed her. So far, that hadn't happened.

"Of course, you walnut." She rolled her eyes, "It's always amazing." She said, and yawned. Bellamy frowned, searching her face.

"But I can tell you're still…distracted. Like you were before we started." His eyes widened in horror, "You weren't thinking about someone else, where you?" His tone was more teasing now.

"No!" She swatted his arm, "Well, now I'm distracted, but of course not." She said. She'd been terrible strung up when Bellamy came over this afternoon, thus his insistence that he take care of her, and it wasn't something so easily forgotten. In reality, her mind was running a thousand places away from this bedroom, "Raven." She said when Bellamy continued to give her a blank look. His blank look became slightly more understanding, but he mostly was still trying to figure it out, "Are you not worried?" Clarke asked in amazement.

"What? No." Bellamy shook his head, "C'mon, she is the smartest person on the Ark. I don't think I'm exaggerating. We both know she'll pass that exam easily." He said, shrugging, "Why are you worried?"

"I dunno, I mean, this is her dream, Bell!" Clarke threw out her arms, "It would be like…O never getting out if she couldn't do this."

Raven was currently taking her Zero-G Mechanic's test. Traditionally, she would have done it about two years ago, but she was tied up with the secret project and all. She just hadn't the time to finish the training session properly. Normally, that would be it and done, but Jaha was fair and had allowed her to wait until she was ready and had time. He recognized that she wouldn't always be working on this super-hardcore project and she'd made a quite convincing argument back a year and a half ago about lettering her take it later. If it weren't for both Clarke's parents and Sinclair in her favor, perhaps it would have gone differently.

Raven's goal was to be the youngest Zero-G Mechanic. Since the youngest ever was 25, Raven still had time to beat the record, even if she waited even longer. But she was ready now. Clarke was a ball of nerves for her friend, for once the position switched with Bellamy, who was remarkably calm.

"Can we not think of Raven right now?" Bellamy asked, leaning over and cupping her cheeks in his hands, dragging his lips down her neck. Her toes curled in response, and she gave a small purr in the back of her throat, "I'd rather think about getting this off you too…" He said, lifting the hem of her shirt up with a wicked smile.

Clarke sighed, realizing that long spans of time like this didn't come often enough and shoved every thought she had about Raven from her mind. Even if Raven was failing, there was nothing Clarke could do about it in the present. She chuckled, and pulled Bellamy on top of her, linking her legs around his back to pull him down onto her. Nothing was going to ruin this now.

Hours later, when they were dressed and lounging out in the living room, playing chess and looking innocent so when her parents arrived home they'd be all settled (but being honest, Clarke was sure they knew the sorts of things they did) there was a knock on the door.

"Ignore it. I'm winning." Bellamy grumbled, hands making a fist and holding his chin and staring determinedly at the board.

"Clarke! I swear to god if you don't open this door right now-,"

Clarke jumped up.

"It's Raven!" She said. Even Bellamy couldn't stop her, and he sat back with an eye roll but a small grin on his face. She threw open the door, and strode into the living room.

"No Murphy?" Bellamy asked, surprised to see her alone. Raven stared at him before giving a quiet shake of her head.

"Uh, no."

As far as everyone knew, they were still 'fine'. But Clarke knew that they'd had sex and that after they officially got their paring it had all gone downhill from there. Clarke was the only one besides the two of them, and only because she'd badgered it out of Raven. Obviously, it was because the two were in love and pretending like it wasn't a big thing and they'd both said some really stupid stuff. But neither were going to admit that, and so they were in this awkward and fragile dance around each other, no longer the friends they'd once been…although, now that Clarke thought about it, they'd never been 'friends', they'd always had that sexual tension about them since they turned old enough to like boys and girls. Not that Clarke didn't think that they were meant to be; she totally did, which made this whole situation even more frustrating.

"Well, did you tell him first?" Clarke questioned, feeling guilty that she might know before Murphy. Even though he wasn't speaking to Raven all the time anymore, Bellamy said he wouldn't shut up in the guard about how he knew someone who was going to be the youngest Zero-G mechanic. If it weren't clear that he was in love with her, Bellamy would have told him to shut up a long time ago. But, Bellamy understood pining over someone and not realizing it, so he let it go, much to the annoyance of others. He once had to tackle Ana to the ground when she was going to go up and inform Murphy that he loved her, but Bellamy firmly believed these were things they needed to find out themselves otherwise they'd reject it.

"Well, he knows. I went and told him and the Collins and Finn altogether." She said, nodding. She couldn't stop the grin on her face, "I passed with flying colors!" She bounced up and down, something Clarke was pretty sure she'd never seen her do.

"Oh my god, you did it!" Clarke threw her arms around her friend.

"Like there was every any doubt." Bellamy snorted from behind them, and then enveloped Raven from behind, "But great job."

"Aww, guys…" Raven said, then pulled away, "Clarke, I want you to do my physical. You know, just a precaution and whatever. Necessary. Then I start tomorrow!" She said, placing her hands over her mouth, "I just can't believe it."

"Let's go right now." Clarke said, "You coming, Bell?"

"I was winning…" Bellamy whined. Raven took one look at the board and shook her head.

"Naw, Clarke was totally going to crush you because-,"

"On second thought, yes, let's go right now." Bellamy said and Clarke giggled with Raven.

When they got to the Med Bay, The Collins (including Murphy) and Sinclair were all sitting outside.

"You guys don't have to be here for this." Raven rolled her eyes.

"We want to be the first people to welcome you to your new job." Mrs. Collins said, her eyes shining like Raven was her own child. In a lot of ways, she was.

"And I'm here for, you know, mentor reasons." Sinclair said, shrugging although Clarke knew that he cared for Raven a lot too. Raven had no mean things to say about the man who'd taught her almost all she knew and had taken her in when no one else had believed a poor girl from Mecha station could out-pace the more 'intelligent' apprentices. They'd proven everyone wrong.

"Bellamy, you'll have to wait out here too." Clarke said apologetically, and Bellamy shrugged and sat.

Clarke went in, checking Raven in. Her mother came over, saying she was going to help Clarke through the procedure, since Clarke hadn't done one before. It wasn't often they trained new Zero-G Mechanics.

Everything was going perfectly fine up until the end, when Clarke was listening to her heart. Something…well, Clarke wasn't sure at first. She called her mother over to finish, easily making up some excuse that she forgot the last sheet of paper to sign and her mom could finish. Raven didn't buy it; she was too smart for that.

Abby heard it too, confirming Clarke's worst fears. She pulled Clarke aside and frowned.

"You know we have to report it on the sheet." Abby said, "A heart murmur could be potentially fatal in those conditions."

"But…what if it's not. It could be nothing." Clarke argued, "Mom…could this end her chances?"

Abby sighed, looking down at Clarke with forlorn eyes, "I wish I had better answers, but we both know…"

Clarke felt tears fill her eyes, as though she was hearing the news about herself.

"We could lie." She said. She knew they couldn't. It was a weak suggestion. Abby almost looked like she wanted to consider it too.

"I wish we could." She said honestly, and it was one of the first times Clarke believed her mom in a long time.

"I'll tell her." Clarke said, "I'm the one that should."

Abby agreed silently, just placing a hand on her daughter's shoulder for a sign of support. Then, she left to put it on the report and Clarke walked back, each step feeling like her heart sunk lower and lower into her stomach.

"What's wrong, doc?" Raven asked, reading her face.

"You have a heart murmur." Clarke said, because Raven wasn't someone that wanted to beat around the bush, "It could be nothing, but we have to report it. And yes, it could make them decide that you won't be able to." Clarke fell onto the chair next to her, "I'm so sorry." She said between trying not to cry in front of her patient. But this wasn't just her patient, it was her best friend.

Raven's face was unreadable. Clarke couldn't tell if she was in shock or denial or accepting it. She wished she could.

Raven didn't speak for a long time.

"I'm…I'm not going to be able to do it…" She finally said in the smallest voice Clarke had ever heard.

"This is so stupid." Clarke kicked a second chair in the room, making it skid across the examining room.

The door opened and Sinclair came in, followed by Abby. His face was grim.

"Tell it to me straight." Raven said, preparing herself and looking him in the eye.

"Well, it's not good." He looked just as devastated as Raven was, "The council will look through it, decide, but…" He shared a look with Abby, "They've never cleared someone with a heart condition."

This is when Clarke saw it really hit Raven, as thought moments before she was still clinging to the faint hope, and Raven just crumbled. Her sobs echoed around the room and it was the most haunting sound Clarke had ever heard.

She went outside and quietly explained the situation to the people waiting. Bellamy's jaw unhinged in disbelief, the Collins looked frozen and Mrs. Collins let out a little whimper, Finn got up and tried to get into the clinic and Murphy looked like someone had hit him in the gut.

"That's not fair! She's wanted this forever, Griffin." Murphy said, getting up in Clarke's face.

"You think I made this up? You think I wanted to report this?" Clarke said, her voice wavering.

"Do you know what this meant to her?" Murphy grabbed her arm and that was what did it for Bellamy. He stood and in one motion yanked him off Clarke.

"You don't get to touch her, John." He said icily.

"Bell, I'm fine." Clarke said, crossing her arms, "It's fine. We're all upset." She said, looking into the Med-Bay, "You should be with her, Murphy." She said quietly, meaningfully.

"Finns with her." Murphy said dejectedly. Clarke wanted to remind him that he was the one that had gotten to sleep with her, not Finn, although Finn had made it clear to Raven that he was extremely interested. She couldn't say it in front of Bellamy (she'd promised Raven) so she just bit her tongue in frustration.

"Still, she wants you there," She lied a little, "She always has."

"Yeah, go in there. I'll let you be late for your shift today." Bellamy said, "I'll cover for you."

"Thanks." Murphy said, but still sounded unsure. He stepped away, then disappeared through the med-bay doors.

"And they said we were idiots for the longest time." Bellamy drew a hand down his face, and kissed Clarke's cheek, "I got to go get ready for work. I'll see you later?"

"Yeah. I'll likely be with Raven." Clarke said.

Bellamy left them, went to get in his work clothes. He found Ana, Miller, Harper, Monroe, Octavia, and Dax hanging around. Everyone in the group had known how much this meant to Raven. Bellamy gave a slow shake of his head.

"She had a heart murmur, during the physical. Everything else…she was perfect." He said dejectedly.

To his utter surprise, Murphy showed up to work on time. He was about to go and chew him out, until Murphy held up a hand and motioned for Bellamy to come over to a quiet corner with him.

"Can you help me with something?" Murphy questioned, "I need to know I can trust you, Blake." He said, putting up those defensive walls even though Bellamy would do almost anything for the kid.

"Is it illegal?" Bellamy had to ask, they were guards after all. Murphy gave a snort and turned around.

"Shoulda known. Forget it."

"Wait, Murphy." Bellamy said, and Murphy turned back, obviously desperate, "I'll help you. I'm assuming it's for Raven."

"Yeah, no shit." Murphy said, "Really?"

"Yes. I owe you big time for…Melody." He said, remembering that Murphy and Raven were both no small part in setting his sister free. Murphy shook his head.

"Hey, she's cool." He said, looking to where Octavia was joking with some guards her age. She would still be fine to work for another couple months; she was hardly showing as it was, "You don't…owe me. But, I'm glad you're in."

"I don't know what I'm even in yet." Bellamy reminded him.

"I want to give Raven at least one chance in the suit outside. She deserves it, at least once. They're not going to let her out there but if you were there to make sure no one comes by and Clarke was there in case something does go wrong…I know that even if she had a heart attack, she'd want to do this."

Bellamy hardly took time to consider it. "She deserves this." He gave a swift nod, "When were you thinking?"

"Tonight, while her key card to the areas still work. She can hack almost anything, but not those scanners. They're high level stuff, man, which is probably good since it is a door to space outside…" He said, trailing off.

"I'll get Clarke to bring Raven over. She'll be with her tonight anyway." Murphy gave an awkward nod of thanks, and before he left to go on his shift, Bellamy grabbed his arm.

"Raven will love-," He was about to end with 'you for this' but then re-thought it, and finished "What you're doing for her."

"I hope." Murphy said sincerely and they didn't get another chance to talk about it until they would meet that night.

Clarke was immediately on board. She'd been partial to leaving out the info about Raven's heart murmur on the sheet, which was illegal in itself. Once you disposed of a body, put a tracker into someone else, and set them off as said person- which was pretty darn illegal- not much else seemed all too bad after that.

Murphy had swiped Raven's access card, getting an extra space suit from the repair bay. He'd written her name all-nice on a little piece of duct tape and put it on the suit, preening with pride. Bellamy thought it was pretty cute. He so desperately wanted to please Raven.

At exactly midnight, Clarke appeared with Raven, coaxing her down into the hall.

"Clarke, this has been fun, but I really want to go back to your place and watch that Mean Girls movie." Raven was sighing, looking even more let down than when they'd seen her after her physical.

"You'll like this end of the walk, I promise." Clarke said and shoved her into the hallway where Bellamy and Murphy waited. She stared at the two of them, and with the suit in Murphy's hands for a couple seconds, uncomprehending.

"Ta-da?" Murphy offered.

"I don't…guys?" Raven said, spinning and frowning at the three of them.

"You deserve a spacewalk." Bellamy said, seeing Murphy had suddenly lost all confidence to speak, "We…well, it was Murphy's idea." He said, nudging his friend. Raven's eyes snapped toward him.

"What?"

"Yeah, well, it's not fair. It's bullshit actually, so I thought I'd do something about it." He said, turning red, "I uh, stole this from a guy I know. Well, borrowed. It has your name on it and everything." He handed it to her.

"But how-,"

"Being high up in the guard has some perks. I changed some of the repair orders around today, stating that there might be some routine check-ups. There was yesterday and no one will think much of an open air lock when someone changed it so high up in power. They won't link it back to me personally, only the guard." He said, shrugging, "Hardly your level of hacking." He laughed.

"And I'm here in case anything happens. Likely not, the murmur's a million in one chance, but hey…you never know." Clarke said, patting her shoulder.

Raven clutched the suit to her chest, "Guys…" Her voice broke and she shook her head, "I can't believe you would all do this for me."

"Raven you…" Murphy began and then paused, as though he was about to say something big, but couldn't at the last second, "You deserve everything good in life." He said quietly. She pulled him into a deep hug, a motion of touch that they hadn't done casually since having sex, and he was shocked for a moment before he let himself enjoy it. She hugged Bellamy and Clarke in turn and was drunk with giddiness as she strapped herself into the suit.

"Oh my god, how do I look?" She asked, turning in a circle.

"Drop dead gorgeous." Clarke said with a thumbs up, winking.

"I'd do you in that." Bellamy teased and Raven shoved him hard. She then turned to Murphy, looking at him hopefully. All he could muster was a quiet chuckle.

"The best, Reyes."

"Okay…" Raven said, feeling confident, "Oh my gosh…I'm really doing this, aren't I?"

"You'd better! We spent a long time setting this up. Now…shoo…into the airlock." Bellamy said.

She nodded and didn't pause while she stepped over the threshold. She turned back and her eyes widened in surprise when Murphy began controlling the buttons.

"D-com system complete." He announced when the airlock hissed, shutting her inside.

"Since when do you know how to do this stuff?" She asked. He gave a casual shrug.

"I read up on some informational books, you know, not a lot." He said, downplaying it. Bellamy knew he'd spent every waking moment since his shift ended before this pouring over guide manuals so that everything went perfect.

"Now you open the re-,"

"Refresh valve." Muprhy finished for her, fingers at the device, "Already head of ya." He said. She stared at him in a way that Clarke remembered staring at Bellamy before they were together, and still sometimes did. It was the look that she couldn't believe in moments like that she had someone so lucky as Bellamy to love her. Raven was feeling the same.

With a hiss, the door to the outside opened behind her. They all watched with stupid grins as her feet slowly lifted from the floor. The look of wonder and childish glee on her face was something any of them could ever forget.

"I couldn't do that. I think I'd get sick in zero-gravity." Bellamy said.

"Not everyone can do it, Bellamy." Raven said, watching herself rise in disbelief, "It's…a weird feeling."

"What are you doing chatting with us? Go enjoy yourself!" Murphy said, rolling his eyes. She gnawed on her lip, and turned. Slowly, she floated out of the Ark.

Bellamy slung his arm around Clarke's shoulder, pulling her close to him.

"We did a good thing." Clarke whispered.

They watched Murphy's face as he pressed his nose close to the glass, his eyes wide with just as much wonder as Raven's had been. It was like he could never tire of watching her. The softest smile Bellamy had ever seen him give rested on his face, one that was only for Raven.

Bellamy leaned over and pressed the communications link open.

"How's it look out there, Raven?" He asked.

"So…freeing. Guys, it's just everywhere and so open." Her voice was breathless; "I wish I could stay out here forever."

"That lucky duck." Clarke whispered, shaking her head, "I can't even imagine how incredible it is out there." She murmured.

They all would have let her stay out there forever, had anyone and reality allowed them to break the rules for longer, but as it was, their time was slipping away and Raven's time was limited.

"I think it's time to come back." Murphy said regretfully.

Raven paused, and Bellamy wondered if she hadn't heard them or was choosing to ignore them, but then she tore her gaze away from the infinite universe to float toward the open air lock, her whole face shining like the stars she'd just witnessed.

The door closed behind her slowly, and although she was back on solid ground, the most pure expression of joy stayed on her face.

"John, I-,"

Whatever she was going to say was interrupted by an alarm warning. Her eyes snapped around in terror, and Bellamy sprang alert.

Warning; Outer door breached. Pressure failing. Initiating emergency protocol.

Raven frantically turned around, throwing her helmet off and pressing up against the air lock door to space, as though her palms could fix any leak like a Band-Aid.

"What happened?" She demanded, and Murphy fumbled with the controls helplessly. For all he had read on, this was not something he could have prepared for.

"I…I'm not…" He said, shaking his head in disbelief as he spun toward Bellamy and Clarke with pleading eyes.

Bellamy strode to his side. He could tell Murphy, who was sometimes one of the stoniest of guards, was slipping away as he watched Raven frantically try to fix it.

Pressure approaching red zone.

"What's that mean?" Clarke asked, but neither boy answered, "What's that mean?" She asked sharper.

"Nothing good, Clarke." Raven was trying desperately to stay calm and Clarke could see the wheels spinning in her mind, going over a thousand simulations to try to recall something that would help.

"I can't open the inner door!" Murphy realized with horror, stabbing at the open button over and over.

"We must have blown a seal." Raven answered immediately, "The doors won't open unless it's equalized."

Pressure now critical.

"Raven, Raven…" Bellamy banged on the door, "What do we do?" Clarke bit her nails, feeling stupid and lost. She could sew up a gaping wound, stop death, and deliver children. But she had no idea what to do in this sort of situation. She wasn't used to being left to the wayside in crisis.

Raven turned to answer, and she fell to her knees, coughing and gasping in to try to take in air. It was only when she looked up that they all saw true fear on her face, fear that this would and could kill her.

"Raven!" Murphy slammed his palms against the glass parts, "God, Raven, look at me. Hold your breath. We'll get you out, just don't…" His voice cracked.

"The door…manual…override…" She spat out hoarsely, each word bringing her closer to now oxygen left. She locked eyes with Murphy and Bellamy could see that he froze up, unable to move.

Clarke darted behind them to a panel door, ripping it off and slamming a level down. The doors between Raven and her friends opened with a slow jerk and Raven collapsed into the Ark's hallways.

"Raven." Murphy jumped down next to her, sitting her upright, "Are you okay? C'mon…" he said, shaking her a little. She made a faint groan, shaking her head.

"Shut the door…" She instructed weakly and Bellamy nodded, doing just that. Despite being safe now, her eyes were still filled with terror, which Bellamy couldn't understand. She tried to breathe normally but just coughed harder, almost hacking up her lunch on the floor.

Emergency support team to B-17 immediately.

Everyone stopped, unable to move.

"We can't be here." Bellamy was the first to spring to action, licking his lips and pacing, "Stars, no, it's a breach…all the section doors are sealed." He realized, eyes widening.

Raven nodded in somber agreement, "You should go, though. Hide. Or…I don't know…you two make out in a closet, get caught. Put Murphy's name into the perimeter night guard, something." She said to Bellamy with urgency.

"What?" Clarke shook her head, "No…we can't…"

"That was a major breech. We lost months of oxygen due to that. Plus an unauthorized space walk, even if a high member of the guard here…that's a capital crime."

Clarke swallowed loudly. She hadn't even thought of that. Even so, no one moved.

"Guys, really." Raven said, shaking her head, "Get out of here!"

"And let you take the fall?" Clarke found her voice, "No way. We set this up."

"And I would have done it myself had I thought of it. I wanted this. I wanted this more than anything else. I'll be fine." She gave a tightlipped smile. It was a lie.

"Take the suit off." Murphy said suddenly, "Take it off and give it to me."

"You're crazy! I'm not doing that." Raven said, frowning at him, "I…Murphy, I'll go down for this. I'm fine with that." She set her arms on his shoulders, "Please…"

"Raven, don't…listen to me. I should have died long ago; my number has been up since I got sick when I was a kid. If it weren't for Clarke, I'd be dead. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have someone to take me in, if it weren't for you and Bellamy, I'd be in the Skybox and floated. Let me do this. I owe all of you."

"John…" Bellamy said quietly, unsure on what to do.

"If no one is here, they'll search until we're all discovered. That's not fair. Clarke, you're a doctor. Bellamy, you're one of the few decent and uncorrupt guards, and Raven…I know you weren't supposed to tell me about your secret project but you did and we both know it's bigger than you and it's bigger than me and you need to be part of it." He said with a starting sincerity.

Clarke shared shocked looks with Bellamy; Bellamy was shocked Murphy had been able to keep it a secret for so long, and seemingly would continue until his dying breath.

"It's the best plan we have." Bellamy finally agreed and Raven spun to him, her eyes shining with tears as though she'd just stabbed him in the back, "Raven, he's under me. I might be able to make a case, say he accidentally…I don't know. But I can try to persuade them if we ditch the suit."

"You can't be considering this." Raven said, "He'll die!"

"I want to do this." Murphy said, and the sound of the guards approaching made them all pause. It was all the time Murphy needed to run toward the approaching guards members.

"Murp-," Raven began to cry out, and Bellamy grabbed her, slamming his hand over her mouth to muffle her cries. She bit him, but he still kept his hand there. With only a look to Clarke, she read his mind and she went behind and clicked his pair of handcuffs around her wrists. She fought like a caged beast as Bellamy used his other free hand to begin dragging her in the opposite direction. Clarke darted back and snatched up the suit, rolling it into a ball and kicking the helmet to Bellamy.

Clarke stabbed something into her arm and her eyes dimmed and she slumped like deadweight in Bellamy's arms. He gave Clarke a questioning look.

"Sedative. Never know when someone might go off the deep end." She whispered, "She'll come to in about 10 minutes." She whispered, "Now, let's find a broom closet." He face was grim.

The maneuvered themselves plus Raven into a cramped utility closet, listening to the sounds of the guards members arresting Murphy and waited until the doors to all the halls opened again.

"Can you wait for her to wake? I need to get to Sergeant Miller and try to do what I can." Bellamy said in a dark tone. Clarke nodded, her whole body shaking with anxiety for her friend and when he left, she couldn't help but cry.

In a couple minutes after Bellamy vanished, Raven began to stir.

"Murphy!" She shot up, looking around, "Clarke…how could you?"

"Bellamy's going to-,"

"The hell with that. They're not going to listen to him, a kid that's gotten off more times than we can count, Clarke they're going to kill him and I'm never going be able to tell-," She broke off, shoving her fist into her mouth to keep from ugly sobbing.

"Raven, we need to go talk to Jaha. He respects both of us. Maybe between the three of us…we can fix this."

"Fix this?" Raven threw open the door to the hallway, "We're fucked, Clarke, don't you see? I'm going to loose him, forever."

She stalked toward where they brought prisoners, and Clarke shoved the spacesuit into an empty box, and then scrambled to keep up with her. Sinclair was already pacing angrily outside Jaha's office when they arrived, Abby sitting on a chair.

"I know it was you, Raven." Sinclair said as soon as he saw her, "I know that Murphy claims he was just in the wrong space and accidently hit a button or some bullshit but I know he helped you get a spacewalk."

"I…" Raven found she couldn't respond, not the man who taught her everything, treated her like an equal and respected her for her intelligence.

"I'm not mad at you." He said after a long moment, shaking his head, "I get it. Totally illegal, but…" He pressed his lips, "If you all weren't so damn fixated on springing to action before thinking, If you'd waited a day none of this would have happened. Do you know you got a 100% on the entrance test? No one has ever gotten that. I've been fighting all afternoon to get your medical thrown out and their decision changed before they've made it, your heart murmur inconsequential." He said.

"What?" Raven whispered, jaw hanging slack. Even Clarke couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"Usually, it's not an issue. I can overturn basically anything within my purview. I've had troubles, though, with the deciding council." He drew a long hand over his face, "And you had to go and do this."

"Why am I different?" Raven demanded hotly, her hands on her hips, "What makes you unable to decide such things for me?"

"Because they accused him of being biased." Abby said with a wry smile.

"Because I'm a girl? Because you know, that's such-,"

"No." Sinclair said tiredly, and looked very unsure of himself and then gave a long sigh, "Because I'm your father."

Clarke felt like she was in some weird dream, and apparently Raven did too because her legs shook like jelly and she sank down to the floor.

"I wanted to tell you once you passed your test today. I didn't know until you were about eleven or so…I only was with your mom on a casual basis, we weren't even dating. When she was pregnant, I knew she'd been seeing other guys and she never told me so I just assumed it wasn't mine. The moment that you reconfigured the wiring of the classroom's lights at the age of 11, I had my suspicions, because that's something I did and it didn't take long to do some tests. And then, how could I tell you? You'd grown up without me for so long. When you came into my class as a mechanic on the road to be a zero-G mechanic, I decided I would be the best teacher I could be and one day, if it seemed you were ready, I would tell you." He laced his fingers in his hair, "Raven?" He asked after a moment, as she hadn't said a single word.

"My father…?" She still seemed to be in a bit of a trance.

"Yes. They feared I was vetting the nay not because you were qualified but because you were related to me. It's been one hell of an afternoon." He said dryly.

As though recalling what had happened, Raven snapped to attention.

"We'll talk about this later, but right now John Murphy is going to be killed for just trying to give me the best day of my life."  
"John Murphy…" Sinclair furrowed his eyebrows.  
"He's betrothed to Raven." Abby supplied.

"Ah, the Project." Sinclair realized, "I uh…you're part of that."

"Yes, and I…I care for John very much." Raven said, "And I don't know what I'll do if he's floated." She said, so much raw truth in her voice that it stirred something within all of them, "That's why I need to be in there and I need to talk to Jaha…right now."

"I'll get him." Sinclair said immediately, "If it's really this important to you."

"More than anything." Raven said and Sinclair nodded.

Raven paced, Clarke wondered how she was being so single-minded after that sort of bomb on her entire life, and Abby was just concerned.

"Clarke…" She began with a disapproving tone.  
"What was I supposed to do, mom? Raven was a wreck today. I've never seen her so sad." Clarke said hotly.

"I don't think it was an awful thing." Abby finally agreed, "I just wish…" She pulled on the loose strands of her sweater, "I just wish it hadn't gone like this."

Finally, Jaha came out with Sinclair shoving him forward.

"Chancellor Jaha." Raven said, straightening her shoulders.

"Raven, I understand that you've come to care for John, but as it is-"

"When we began our secret project and fixed that thing you thanked us and basically told us in no uncertain terms that you owed us something, anything. I'd like to use that right now and save John. No one in killed. I'll give up anything you want, do any penance for what I did, but John goes free…as does Clarke and Bellamy because you know it already that we all were a part of this." She said, reading his face.

Jaha was silent for a moment. "I did promise a singular thing to each of you…but you could have anything in the world. Are you sure this is what you wish to use that on, John spared of his sentence?" He asked.

"I could think of noting more important." She said honestly.

He gave a wise nod.

"Very well, I declare John Murphy to be freed from his crimes, as witnessed by Abby Griffin and Jacapo Sinclair. Raven, we will discuss a punishment later, but tonight you should celebrate. I hear you're our newest Zero-G mechanic."

Raven gave a long sigh of relief and collapsed on the bench, shaking her head as Jaha nodded to them all before retreating back inside.

"I didn't think that would work…oh my stars…" She said, and Clarke rubbed her back as she let out a couple gasping breaths.

"Raven!"

The four sitting there snapped their heads up to see Finn pelting toward the area, "I heard the sirens and I just knew…are you fine? Please tell me you're not going to be floated." He said, grabbing her hands and staring into her eyes.

"No, no." Raven shook her head; "John took the fall for me…"

"Oh no…" Finn murmured in horror. Clarke new he didn't hate his impromptu brother, but they didn't love each other either. She was glad to see he was appalled by the fact.

"It's fine, he's going to be fine. I saved him." Raven said, patting his hand.

"Really?" Finn paused and then licked is lips, "Raven…can I talk to you…?" He asked, the indication of 'alone' within what he didn't say.

"Sinclair, we should make sure the pressure has stabilized and there's no more chances like this, and figure out what happened in the first place." Abby said meaningfully and he looked like he didn't want to leave Raven alone with Finn, but begrudgingly followed. Clarke nodded to an alcove, exiting. Raven sent her a look, and thusly Clarke stayed close enough to hear. She peered out from where she eavesdropped (with Raven's permission) and saw the back of Finn's head.

"Raven, I meant to give you this for good luck today, but I just didn't have time…I mean, I hope it still brings you good luck." He said, and held up something.

"Oh, Finn. It's beautiful…it's a Raven." Clarke only caught a glimpse of it, but she realized it was a crafted raven on a chain, like all the animals he used to make. She gave a soft smile, it was a nice gift.

"And…I wanted to talk to you." Finn added and Raven frowned.

"Finn…" Raven whispered softly. From behind them, Murphy entered from opposite Clarke. He had the biggest grin on his face, until he spied who was in front of him. Raven's back was toward him He froze when he saw Finn glance up, not enough to make Raven realize that someone had entered in, but Finn knew he was there.

"No, let me say this. Raven…I'm in love with you. I want to be with you. I wish I had thought about what Murphy had because it was brilliant. And just know, I would have taken the fall for you. I would have died gladly for you, too. I don't care that you're going to marry someone else; you don't have to be with them in the way that you can be with me. I won't ever marry anyone else, I only want you." He said, "We can make his work. Please, say yes…"

Raven stared at him in shock, her mouth hanging open in surprise. Clarke had expected that she sort of knew where it was going, but not to this extent.

"Finn." She said quietly, "I do want to return to this topic later, but right now, we should make sure Murphy is fine. He just thought he was going to die, after all."

"I'm fine." He said from behind them, making Raven jump. Her eyes widened in fear.

"How long have you been there."

"Just came out," He lied, "I only heard you say that you were…worried about me, maybe?" He said, "I'm touched, Reyes." He said teasingly, but his smile didn't quite reach his eyes. Clarke wanted to go over there and smack him over the head. She obviously hadn't said 'yes' because she wasn't in love with Finn, but with Murphy! Stars, they all could be so dense!

Bellamy came jogging from another direction, pausing in wonderment to see the group standing there.

"Stars, it's true! Murphy, you're alive." He said, going and grabbing him into a manly hug. Murphy was surprised for a second but didn't resist, until they both realized that they had just done that, and broke apart, Bellamy coughing into his hand and Murphy rubbing the back of his neck.

"How…how'd you get out? I was in there, giving obviously a greet speech to Shumway about your release, but I got the news before I finished so it wasn't me…" Bellamy frowned, searching the boy's face.

"It was me." Raven said, speaking up, "I used my favor."

"What favor?" Finn questioned, "What sort of favor could possibly save someone from being floated?"

Raven quickly rehashed the details she could give him, and when she finished his whole face contorted into something like he'd eaten rotten food.

"So you had this…and never once did you think that you could use it to break your marriage agreement? You could be free to marry anyone if you had done that!" The unspoken words he didn't add, but Clarke knew he was thinking- as well as everyone else- were 'like me'. Raven looked down, not guiltily, but trying to find the right words.  
For as much as people hated the project, there were others who didn't. People like Sarah or Tom who made them realize that they would have ended up together eventually or people like Uma and Simon that had already been dating. There were others like Trina who had crushed on Dax her whole life without ever expecting something from it, or kids who looked at those couples that were flourishing and had begun to think that maybe the council knew what they were doing for once. Raven, Clarke thought, was one of those. She couldn't answer, because if she were honest, she would tell Finn she didn't want to break the contract.

Instead, she said, "Well, I used for this. What's done is done and it's illogical to think of how it could have been used differently. It was the right thing to do."

Finn still looked deeply troubled.

"We should probably be getting home. It's nearly three AM." Murphy said, giving a tiny quirk of a smile, "And after nearly dying, it can really make a guy tired."

"Agreed, we all still have work tomorrow." Bellamy said, nodding, "Speaking of, congrats Raven…Shumway also officially cleared you for Zero-G as I was coming to find you all."

Raven's whole face lit up, and she covered her hands with her mouth. "Holy stars…" She whispered.

"Raven! That's great." Finn said, slinging his arm around her. She looked at it, and slightly shrugged out from under it without trying to hurt his feelings. She looked back at Murphy, "You coming too?" She asked softly.

"Of course. You go on though, I just…need a moment." He said. She nodded quietly and her and Finn began to leave. Clarke saw Bellamy nudge him and whisper something frantically to him and Murphy whispered something curtly back to him. Bellamy looked ready to pull his hair out, but gave a begrudging nod before coming over to Clarke to walk her home.

"What was that about?" She asked when they were out of earshot.

"I told him that clearly Raven was wanting him with her and he should go up and admit his feelings for her. He said something about overhearing Finn tell her he loves her, and that Raven didn't say no or yes, and that he doesn't want to pull Raven in a direction. Doesn't want to trap her in a love triangle, and if she did love Finn, it wouldn't be his place to interfere." Bellamy ground his teeth, "Now he starts being responsible and adult-like? Freaking hell." He cussed.

"We both know she doesn't love Finn and she never could, not in the way she loves Murphy." Clarke pointed out, "We'll just have wait, I guess. People that love each other, that are meant to find each other, always do." She linked her hands within his, "Like us."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, the 'smut' in the beginning is probably about as 'smutty' as I'd ever get, just in case you all were wondering.
> 
> I hope you guys liked that I took the 'Spacewalker' episode and flipped it to be more Murven, especially because up until the end of that episode there were some huge Murven vibes.
> 
> Also, about Sinclair being Raven's dad, that had been a fan theory for awhile and Lindsey Morgan and the guy that play Sinclair got wind of it and they both commented that they believed it to be true, at least to them! So it's so sad but in the episode where Sinclair died they were both acting with the thought that he actually was her father secretly. But I find it cool that the actors have headcannons of their own too or accept fan ones!
> 
> Remember to review! And, if you're going to see the new HP tomorrow as well or soon, let me know what house you think you're in! I'm curious :) I am a Slytherin, for sure.


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS TOOK SO LONG TO UPDATE! Well, I kinda can...my computer freaked out about a month ago, deleted lots of files...basically lost forever. I had most of this chapter written and when you loose it all...sigh, you just keep comparing it, thinking the old one was so much better even though you'll never see it again. Make this be a lesson, kiddies, BACK UP YOUR FILES.
> 
> I also just got hit with plot bunny after plot bunny. So although i feel like I'm writing all the time (I am) it's all things you guys haven't and won't see yet XD But the next chapter should be out soon, hoping within a week or two...it's one that I've been basically looking forward to writing since the beginning. More on that in the author's notes below. And bewarned, the warning has changed. I wrote a lime scene in the beginning. I can't say they'll happen all the time, but it just...came over me XD I don't think many of y'all will be complaining though.

The news that Jasper and Monty had 'get-out-of-jail-free' favor cards, strong enough to save a guy from the death penalty, caused quite the stir…which is what Bellamy expected and why he encouraged the people that knew not to spread it around.

But it was hard to explain how Murphy had survived and somehow word got out, Bellamy suspected Finn, and before he knew it Jasper and Monty were cornered with anxious questions from the group.

Jasper shut down all requests quickly.

"I'm going to be a father soon," He said firmly, shoving away from the pleading cries, "I need this. You never know what might happen…my family comes first." Bellamy was pleased to hear this, because a tiny part of him feared that they might go the same route, as Octavia had been an illegal second child. She was never good with birth control and fertility clearly ran in their family and she'd often talked about how despite being locked away most her life she would never trade the experience of getting to have a sibling for anything else. Obviously no one planned these sorts of things but Jasper had a damn good trick up his sleeve if it happened. Or anything else, for that matter. He could save himself, Bellamy considered as he looked at Murphy, and not have to leave his kid without a father. He knew Murphy would have killed to get to have his dad around longer.

Monty could quash people's questions and requests quite as easily. It had been looked into, but his favor could save one singular pair from the forced arrangement, but not everyone. This favor could do nearly anything, and it was saying a lot that it could do anything. Jaha didn't need to give them this. Bellamy understood there had to be rules with it or else it would just result in chaos and mutiny.

And did Monty even want to use it? And if he did, whom would he use it on? From the way he looked at Miller and Harper, all misty-eyed and depressed, it was obvious where his heart lay. If he got himself out, both of his objects of affection would still be tied up. If he broke up their marriage, he couldn't even really be with either and it would be difficult to play favorites so obviously.

And, just as with the way that Raven had saved hers, one never knew what worse things might come their way. As impossible as it was to imagine something worse than being tied to someone you couldn't love no matter how hard you tried, Bellamy knew there were worst things in life.

The whole matter was a hot topic for a couple weeks; people either trying to sweet-talk or bribe the two boys or just sending betrayed glances at either of them. When it was clear neither were budging, though, people lost interest in trying to aggravate them into using it stupidly.

As Octavia grew larger and Jasper grew more mature in his preparation, Bellamy couldn't help but look on to them with a growing sense of longing. Not even a kid, although he was looking forward to being a father, but just their togetherness in general. The way their house was filled with weird inside jokes between the two of them, how they got to share a bed every night and make food together, how they disappeared into the sanctuary of something theirs after hard days.

If Clarke was a little more distant, a little firmer in her resolutions that she'd previously voiced, it might not be so hard. As it was, though, both of them were finding it harder and harder to keep their hands away from each other. He didn't know what had changed in Clarke, from wanting to be slow about it and attempt to make it easier since she was sure they couldn't get married soon, but he was torn between hating it and loving it. Hating it because he wanted everything about her so badly and got teasing tastes of it just for a couple seconds here and there but loving it because he'd never get tired of anything about Clarke.

She was becoming more adventurous too, unable to wait until the rare moments her parents were gone and Bellamy was free to fool around. They were finding themselves in odder and odder spots on the ark, hands sliding over bodies and lips bruised from passionate kissing.

In fact, today Clarke had gotten a wicked glint in her eyes, one that Bellamy recognized extremely well, and she dragged him to the Med Bay into an isolation room, locking the door and turning the blinds over the window behind them. No one would disturb them, if they didn't make too much noise.

Bellamy was a gentleman in many ways; such as he wasn't going to force Clarke into things she didn't want to do until she was ready. But with things he already knew she liked or they had done before…he was greedy. Before she'd even turned the blinds down all the way, he'd come up behind her, one hand slinking down her side until it reached her waist, pulling her hard against him, the other brushing the hair from her neck to trail light nips on her exposed milky skin. She let out a quiet moan, her hips bucking instinctually into his. She took the hand that had been gripping her waist and led it to her breasts, encouraging Bellamy to delve underneath her shirt.

He did one better, and in a swift motion, took it off her body, leaving her in just her bra, which she discarded not long after.

She turned around, staring into his dark eyes, which mirrored her own need, and leaned up to kiss him, fisting her fingers in his hair. He pulled her closer, desperate for their bodies to be as close as possible, grabbing her ass and grinding her closer to him. She gave a small gasp, aligning herself so she fit between his legs and unashamedly gyrated against the area of his pants that was beginning to tent. Bellamy's fingers tightened on his grip on her, almost pushing her feet off the floor to find more contact with her body. She stepped back, and he almost whined, until her hand trailed downwards. She shoved him back on the tiny space of the free wall, and the coolness of the metal behind him seeped through his shirt. She broke the kiss, grinning happily, and sank to her knees, unbuckling his belt and tugging down his bottom half in one take.

Even though this wasn't their first time doing this activity, the moment Clarke's lips curled around him, Bellamy saw stars exploding behind his eyelids. He didn't think that would ever change.

He thanked her after by turning her around, leaning her nearly over the bed in the room, pushing up her skirt to around her waist and realized she wasn't wearing underwear. His entire face blushed like a teenage virgin and she turned, the most devious smirk on her face. He wondered if she hadn't been wearing any all day? He wondered if she did this often? All these questions left him almost in a worst state than it did good, just because he knew it would be almost impossible to not shove her against a wall every time he saw her in this damn skirt now, or any dress for that matter.

"Are you going to do something or just stare all day?" Clarke questioned. Bellamy didn't pause to delve his fingers into her wetness and by the time he was done there were bite marks on his other hand from Clarke to muffle her cries as he brought her to completion.

There was a moment, somewhere in there, when she turned and he almost saw the question on her lips, but thought better of it. He was almost glad; as much as he did want to consummate their relationship in the most traditional way, and couldn't have been able to resist Clarke's request, the part of him that wasn't horney 24/7 didn't want to be their first time like this, rough and need for a release.

But they were getting there. Indeed, Bellamy wasn't sure how much longer either of them could continue pretending as though having actual sex wasn't looming over them, just waiting to happen.

"You guys should have," Murphy argued to him when they were both on watch later that night, "You should have just done it because I'm going to stab my eyes out with a fork if Clarke continues to eye-fuck you like she's been doing. Just get it over with, geeze…"

"Yeah, because going at it like rabbits worked so well for you and Raven," Bellamy snapped back. It was a low blow, and Bellamy instantly regretted it, but Murphy just sighed.

"I'm glad we did." He said finally, "But you're right, it did mess it all up. I guess the difference is that you two are already dating. It's not going to be as complicated." It was one of the more calm things Bellamy had ever heard Murphy confess. When it came to Raven, if she weren't in danger at the moment, Murphy became his best.

"What happened with that anyway?" Bellamy said.

"She's…well, I don't know. But I know what I did wrong last time is trying to make something out of nothing. I like being her friend. I need her, man. I don't want to lose that so I'll wait until she feels like she wants me like that."

She already does, you idiot. Bellamy just raised an eyebrow, and said no more. He wasn't going to interfere. They'd get there, he had to hope. It seemed like now they were trying to rebuild a relationship from where it had dropped too after months of not talking. As much as he wanted them to just be happy together the best of relationships came from friends first. He and Clarke were prime examples of that.

Bellamy's holopad jingled and he absent-mindedly checked the message. He gave a quiet chuckle and John looked his way questioningly.

"Today Hendrick and Leslie get married," he said quietly, "I programmed all the dates in here. I just thought…" He ran his fingers through his hair, "I thought I should be aware."

The last marriage was between Keshawn and Marisha and that was an awkward one to say the least. They didn't like each other and Bellamy personally thought Keshawn wasn't going to make an effort to make her like him. He felt terrible for Marisha.

"Out of the twenty-two couples, Jaha was bound to actually get some right. That's one of them." Murphy said, shrugging, "Good for them." Bellamy recalled back to the day that he learned about the solar flare, when he'd brought Keshawn lunch that Leslie had been en route to deliver. He hadn't seen it until now, but they were always together in the way he and Clarke were.

He grinned widely, "Yeah. I suppose that's true."

"So…the project?" Bellamy coughed. Murphy rolled his head toward him, sending him a nasty glare. This was approximately the twentieth time Bellamy had tried to goad Murphy into telling him what the big project was that Raven, Jasper, and Monty were working on.

"Not going to happen, man." Murphy said with a slow shake of his head, "I'd get floated. Raven would get floated." He said with more meaning.

"Well, you already aren't supposed to know and I can keep a secret, so-,"

"Bullshit, you'd tell Clarke."

"Well, Clarke can keep a secret too." Bellamy defended her, "Not even a clue?"

"Nope." Murphy said, popping out the 'p' with a smirk on his face, "You're just going to have to wait like everyone else. You'll like it, I swear." He assured, patting Bellamy's shoulder in a jokingly-condescending way.

"That's what makes it so hard to not know." Bellamy groaned. He had a thousand guesses to what this could possibly be, what could be so important about it, but none of them seemed to fulfill that 'wow' factor he was sure was clinging to it. Murphy just had to be a good guy when it came to this, didn't he?

Screw it; Murphy wasn't a bad guy at all, despite what he thought of himself. But still, screw him for not telling him. Bellamy had tried to get it out of Octavia; before it was clear Octavia had no idea what he was talking about. Then he'd gone after Jasper, claiming it as a brother-in-law tax. That had proved fruitless too. This damn secret was driving him batty, especially because now he was acutely aware to the whispers about it of the really high-ups, and sometimes he's almost get on a page before it would boot him off. He was so close to being 'intheknow' without being there. It was like he could stand on his tip toes and reach up and he'd touch that line.

Murphy's watch beeped.

"Our times up. Better get to the room, I think Roma's making a wedding party meal. Lord knows I don't want to miss that." He said and Bellamy chuckled, agreeing. Roma's food was pretty much to die for.

They passed their replacements, putting their guns and outfits in their lockers, and clicked out. Bellamy wasn't often on rotation like this, but he'd switched so he could go to the wedding and all, since Hendrick had asked him to be there.

The room was already buzzing with people by the time he and Murphy arrived. Not many people had been so excited for the other weddings, Marisha's in fact had came and gone without so much of a word and had Bellamy not had it in his calendar or Benny mentioned it to him he might have forgotten. And when he tried to talk to Marisha about it, not even congratulate her for they all knew how it was, she'd just given him this look that shut him up about it completely. People would have been at Tom's and Sarah's, had it been more known, since they were like the Uncle and Aunt of the group that gave bad advice and got everyone drunk and there was a respect there, but it had all happened so fast.

So, this was the first wedding anyone was celebrating.

On one hand, Bellamy wondered if it's that people were accepting this now, how this life was.

But, on the other, these two were liked individually and as a couple, which was a rare occasion. And he liked to think that they would have ended up married anyway, if this law were never around, as he'd told Murphy. A small part of Bellamy wondered if the reason that so many people had hated their matches so quickly is because Jaha actually might have guessed better than they ever could have?

Bellamy trusted science and fact. He knew for a fact they'd used science to match up people. Some were bound to fail, like in every experiment, but he stood by the uncommon opinion that there should be more hits than misses here, and that most of these people would actually end up…dare he say it…happy.

Hendrick and Leslie were in a corner, laughing with Benny who was telling them a story with large hand motions. It was probably all completely made up, if he knew one of his best friends, but he loved to hear these wild tales nonetheless.

"Hey buddy, what's up!" Benny saw Bellamy out of the corner of his eye, waving him over.

"Congrats." Bellamy tipped his head toward the couple.

"Well we're not married yet," Leslie giggled, "Something could go horribly wrong."

"Yeah, Jaha could call us down and reveal he made a mistake and you're actually betrothed to Kane." Hendrick agreed and the pair giggled about an inside joke, clearly.

"So I gotta ask…whose name are ya taking?" Benny said, raising an eyebrow.

"His last name, of course." Leslie said, which Bellamy could have guessed. She was a traditional type of girl. Benny gave a long sigh of relief and put his hand over his chest.

"Thank god! Could you imagine how awful your name would sound if you took her last name? Hendrick Hettrick? It's a mouthful and more than that it sounds like someone accidently misspelled your first name and re-wrote it."

"Benny!" Bellamy hit Benny's side, but he figured the pair wouldn't' be offended. Everyone knew at this point that Benny-in addition to having a dirty mouth- also just said whatever came out of it.

"Oh god," Leslie covered her face with her hand, "I've never even thought of that." She shook her head.

"I had," Hendrick winced, "I'm glad you liked my last name. I will pretty much do whatever you ask of me but I might have argued at that point." He said.

Someone poked him in his side unexpectedly and Bellamy jumped like a foot in the air. Leslie snorted so badly she spit out some of her drink and Benny began laughing so hard he cried.

"Who would have thought a guardsmen would be so prone to jumping and squealing like a little girl!" Hendrick said, smirking at him.

"I did not squeal." Bellamy objected, glaring at Clarke who looked at him innocently. He noticed she was still wearing that skirt, which all he could think about was the sin associated with it, and he felt all his blood rush to one spot.

"You defiantly made a gasping noise I wouldn't associate with Bellamy Blake." Leslie said, "Great move, Clarke."

"It's just so easy to get him." Clarke teased, and from her tone he knew that she was also referring to the fact she knew he was getting turned on by the fact she had chosen not to change out of her skirt. He wondered what she was wearing underneath and-

No, now was not the time to be thinking that.

"Are you all ready for the wedding, Leslie?" Clarke asked, holding out a glass of wine to her.

"I think?" Leslie laughed, "There's not much to get ready for, you know! Well, except I wanted to do that old tradition-something old, something new, you know?"

"Oh, how cute!" Clarke crooned, "Why aren't you?"

"Well, I got something old- this necklace was my grandma's," Leslie touched a simple pendant around her neck with a singular stone dangling on her collar bone, a diamond perhaps, Bellamy thought, "And something is, well," She gave Clarke a quiet wink and put her hands on her hips and it took Bellamy a moment but then he realized that she must mean lingerie of some sort. Hendrick must have come to that conclusion to because he looked practically giddy, "And I got the blue because Zahira painted my nails today. I just don't know what I'd use for borrowed, which is like the easiest of them all, though!" She said.

Clarke paused for a moment, and then chuckled. "I think I have just the thing…" She said, grabbing Leslie's hand and dragging her over to a cabinet in the room. Bellamy, Benny, and Hendrick followed, confused.

Clarke reached up and pulled out a box and Leslie began to laugh. Bellamy saw what it was and shook his head, wondering how no one had thought of that.

Years and years ago, people's stuff just began to vanish from the room and from backpacks. Really stupid stuff, mostly, like extra pens or a singular sticker or apples…people were of course upset until it came to a dramatic reveal (at least, dramatic for most people who were twelve and under) that Leslie was a kleptomaniac. For little kid terms, she took things and she couldn't control it. She had all the papers from the doctors to prove she wasn't pulling their leg. It wasn't even like she wanted people's extra pens or their apples, she just couldn't control it.

So, in their youth when they were always together, they'd made the Leslie Box. Hendrick or Zahira- who were two of Leslie's closest friends at the time- would go into her room once a month and collect anything that wasn't hers. People got into labeling their stuff pretty quickly. Then, at the end of the month you'd just go thought the box and find what was missing. Everyone was happy, no one ever got mad at her, and it worked. As they'd phased out of being here all the time, the Leslie Box got less and less popular. Bellamy honestly couldn't recall the last time they'd had a need for it. Leslie was older now, more able to control it, but she still slipped up…but mostly it wasn't them anymore, but her co-workers. Bellamy hoped they were as nice to her as they had been. Leslie was a literal lamb; she couldn't steal something on purpose if her life depended on it.

"Well, I don't think anyone would mind you taking from here, huh?" Clarke said. Leslie shook her head gently, not disagreeing, but lost in thoughts.

"I remember thinking I'd never have friends because of that, but look at me now…" She gazed around the room, "I'm about to get married. I have all these people here, supporting me. I know some hate Jaha's project but it saved me."

"It saved a lot of people." Bellamy agreed, and his eyes gazed the room, settling on people like Murphy or Uma.

"I think this would be perfect," Clarke said, fishing out a hair barrette that on the back had 'CANDENCE' written on it with sharpie. It was made out of little stones like her necklace, and as soon as Clarke clipped it onto her hair…she looked complete.

It was perfect timing because not ten minutes later, Bellamy was sitting and watching as they became Mr and Mrs Horn. The party afterward was swinging and the cake was to die for. Hendrick pulled out his sweet moves on the dance floor, and then had the cutest ballroom first dance with his wife, at least according to Clarke. Bellamy's own feet were stumbling while dancing at best and he hoped Clarke wouldn't hold him to that sort of expectation; Hendrick had been dancing since he was young.

No one saw much of them in the days that followed, which was probably a good thing, as they were enjoying their days off of work as a newly married couple in a beautiful space in the Geo-Sci station.

Their marriage couldn't have come at a better time, Bellamy thought, since it was nearly Christmas. Christmas wasn't like it used to be on earth, or how he'd heard stories. Gone was any sort of religion tied to it, since the biggest religion on the ship was based around that stupid tree that Kane's mother was so obsessed with. Some small family groups celebrated individual religions, but other than that, it was few and far in between. Instead, Christmas in general was a couple weeks associated with giving and celebrating the end of another year they were alive. The council hung Christmas lights around the Ark and everyone got a ration for Christmas cookies, how much depending on how much was saved that year. It was just a gleeful happy time.

And Bellamy had no idea what to give Clarke at all.

He went to find his sister and Jasper, wondering if they had any ideas, but also to see how she was doing. She was three days overdue now. Abby said this was normal; all first time mothers often went over. Bellamy still worried incessantly. They weren't at their house, where he expected to find them, but instead caught up with them at Raven's place.

"We're trying to walk this baby out!" Octavia groaned, patting her stomach, "Abby doesn't want to induce me, damn her, and wants me to wait. I've been having contractions all day but nothing worth going in for. It's hell."

"Yeah, so we're viding everyone and trying to walk the length of the Ark at least once. We've pretty much done everything else that people have told us to go into labor."

"No kidding, spicy food? Check. Pineapple? Check. Red raspberry leaf tea-which do you know how hard that was to get? And nothing! Caster oil-,"

"Sex," Jasper interjected with a wicked grin. Bellamy gave a low moan in the back of his throat. Octavia purred back to Jasper, a sound Bellamy didn't want to hear in his entire life.

"We get it, you've done it all." He cut them off before they went into details. His body gave a shudder.

"Yeah, so, point is we're at our last straw. I just want this baby out, I can't sleep, I'm in pain…god, being pregnant sucks." She lowered her voice so only her husband and her brother could hear, "I have no idea how mom did it twice."

"They say that when you have the kid you forget all the bad stuff yada, yada, yada." Jasper waved a hand, "At least, that's what my mom claims. She was in labor with me for three whole days." He sounded strangely proud of that.

"If your kid stays in me for three more days, I swear to god, Jordan," Octavia growled.

"Luckily, M's delivery was pretty quick." They'd taken to referring to their mother around each other as 'M' as not to raise suspicion, "I remembered it, you know."

"M is a mess while trying not to be a mess." Octavia said, rolling her eyes, "I'm perfectly fine."

They were moving through houses not at a quick rate but not at a slow one either. Bellamy was so caught up within trying to still figure out a Christmas present for Clarke, which Jasper and Octavia had been equally unhelpful about he'd found out, he didn't notice until about the sixth person that they'd visited they were being quite…methodical about it. It took him until eight house that he caught on to what they were doing…one would talk to the host, ask for food or sympathy for Octavia's state, something, while the other would walk around and slowly turn up or down things in their house-the heat, the holopad, music, alarms.

He confronted them about it right after they left one of Octavia's new friends house, who by their leaving had asked them if it felt really cold in there to them. They'd both widened their eyes innocently and denied feeling anything.

"Are you even really trying to go into labor?"

"Do you think I'd freaking lie about that?" Octavia gave him a dark look; "Contractions are still only about an hour apart. I'm miserable."

"So what?"

"Well, we didn't want to just be boring and walk around the Ark like old people," Jasper frowned, "So Octavia suggested we visit people and see how much we can turn up or down things without them noticing. Most unobservant is Bryan, by the way. We turned his heat up to like ninety degrees and he didn't feel a thing!"

"I was sweating in there, whew!" Octavia fanned herself. Bellamy stared between the two of them with a sense of frank disbelief.

"What?" Octavia frowned at him.

"You're adults! You're married and about to become parents and you're doing childish stuff like that?" He gaped at them.

"Well, geeze Bell, if I knew getting married meant throwing away anything fun, I don't think I would have done it. No offence, O." He said, throwing an arm around her.

"None taken. I agree. We can still be cool, Bell. Getting married and having a kid doesn't mean you automatically turn into grumpy old geezers. We can be responsible and be awesome parents. Your kid will have a stick-in-the mud for a father, our kid will be telling his friends how incredibly awesome we are." Octavia poked Bellamy in the stomach, "We plan to teach our kid the art of pranking very young."

"No wonder Clarke hasn't slept with you yet," Jasper clicked his tongue jokingly. Bellamy felt his face turn red.

"I…I can be fun." He argued, "I'm lots of fun!"

Octavia and Jasper looked thoroughly unconvinced.

"You two don't know what you're talking about, I'm a load of fun! I have fun spewing from me! We're just sensible and-,"

"Oh, yay, sensible. Exactly what every kid wants to have in their life." Octavia teased him, "But seriously, Bell. You don't have to be so adulty all the time. You're only twenty-three, remember? Most kids your age are still falling in and out of love and making mistakes and doing stupid stuff and hoping they won't get caught, despite having jobs. And you never really had time to be a kid with me and, whew, I didn't meant to have all this come out today but I dunno just think about it. I know you have the capability to be fun, but I think you've shut it out." She leaned in to hug her older brother and whispered in his ear, "Unlock the fun, the whimsical, the kid-like."

"She's right, you know," Jasper was grinning wide, "C'mon, let's get that baby to come out. I think we should visit Murphy waaaaaay on the other side of the Ark. He's fun to annoy."

Bellamy stood a little frozen, watching them leave. And, despite feeling upset with them for their antics moments before, he had the overwhelming relief of relief as he realized they ere going to be great parents.

He shook his head, continuing the other direction. Despite his min-revelation that maybe he was a little full of seriousness of late, it still didn't help him figure out a gift for Clarke. The weeks of Christmas technically started in two days.

It wasn't until he got to work that night for a late shift that he got an idea. And moreso, the idea was handed to him on a silver platter.

"Hey, Bellamy, Miller told me to find you." Ana said, jogging up to him.

"Mhh?"

"Well, you know how you were going to teach that class tomorrow in room eight? Well, Shumway decided to give everyone a night off, so that room is pretty much open to anything. Miller- old Miller- still has it down as occupied that night and under your name. You know, if you have anything to use it for." She said, staring at him.

"Erm, cool?"

"C'mon! You can't think of a single use for that empty, sound-proofed room?" Ana said with a wide-eyed look.

"Awe, c'mon," Bellamy winced, "Is everyone seemingly more interested in Clarke's and my sex life than we apparently are?" He asked, throwing out his hands, "Sergeant Miller too?"

"It's not like that, not exactly. I mean, I don't think that's what he thought of exactly when he did that. But we all know that you guys aren't married and still with parents and that it's hard to enjoy time alone with each other and all like that, unmarried and apparently years away from it." Ana patted his arm, "I wouldn't hurt myself thinking too hard about it. Just say thanks and move on." She shrugged.

"Thanks," Bellamy said after a long moment, "And pass that along to Miller when you see him."

After she'd left, as Bellamy patrolled the halls in silence, he was already brainstorming what he could do. He knew what he hoped would happen, of course, but despite that he wanted a perfect night free of the expectation that those sorts of things would happen. By the time he was done, he had a list of materials in his mind and a plan in his head.

He couldn't find it all, since some of it was fantastical ideas of what he would do if they had everything in the world at their disposal, but he managed to do a pretty bang-up job if he said so himself. He enlisted Octavia to help him with a couple smaller things since she was officially on bed-rest now and bored out of her mind.

The rest of the day was spent ferrying large objects to the empty room and trying to make sure people kept Clarke out of whatever hallway he was lugging something through. He didn't want the surprise to be ruined before he could make his grand reveal. Jake saw him at one point, and merely raised his eyebrows and nodded in acknowledgement to Bellamy. His whole face blushed to realize that Clarke's father certainly had ideas about what this whole plan was, or what most people would think it was, but at least he wasn't running after him with a shotgun.

Finally, it was all done.

He collected Clarke from her house and put his hands over her eyes, navigating her to the Guard's station where only a couple lone cadets were stationed, since it was the first day of 'Christmas Season' and most people were off with loved ones.

"I'm going to trip and die, Bell, can I open my eyes?" Clarke complained jokingly as he swerved her away from hitting a wall.

"Nope." He said, chuckling, "We're nearly there…I promise."

"Is this a Christmas gift? I'm not ready, I don't have-,"

"Clarke, relax. It is, but…I don't need anything from you." Bellamy said sincerely, "I'm more excited to see your response to this." Clarke grumbled under her breath.

"I'm still going to get you a gift." She insisted.

Once they had made it through the maze of rooms, Bellamy used his keycard to unlock the door.

"Okay…open…" He said. Clarke opened her eyes slowly and he watched the most beautiful grin spread completely over her face. In front of her in the room was what Bellamy gleaned to have been Christmas back on earth. On the ground he'd gone to Abby to have her help him acquire some bedding in the process of being re-made into new items, and it was on loan and currently all over the ground as snow. He'd gone to his mother and gotten some white and silver strands of fabric and hung them all around. On the walls, he'd done his best to draw a pine tree and a chimney with some stubs of charcoal he'd dug up. Hanging from the ceiling were a couple paper snowflakes, what Octavia had helped him create. In the middle of the room was their larger mattress from his room with blankets and a picnic for them. Dotted sporadically were lit candles.

"Wow…" She whispered quietly.

"I know I'm not the best artist," Bellamy said, rubbing the back of his neck. Clarke spun, placing a finger to his lips before.

"It's perfect!" She said. She walked slowly around the room, pausing at something tacked to his drawn chimney.

"Stockings?" She asked, pointing at the two pairs of socks he'd hung.

"Sorta," He winced, "Best I could do." He paused, nodding at her reaction, "I just…I know you really love all those sappy Christmas movies and your eyes always linger on the snow scenes or the family tradition scenes…I don't even think it's about the plot for you. And…I took your sketchbook. I've seen your drawings, I swear someone would be shocked to know you've never seen snow in your life."

"I feel like any gift I could come up with would be so stupid in comparison." Clarke laughed, coming to the bed, "This is just so…how did you manage it all?"

"Help." He shrugged, "It was nothing." From the way her eyes gazed up him he felt a blush coming on.

"You are the most adorably romantic person I've ever met." She informed him, turning around and biting her lip. She beckoned for him to join her on the mattress. He opened one of the bowls to reveal pomegranate seeds.

"They're in season," He informed her. She took a couple and shoved his shoulder.

"Everything's in season on the ARK, you dolt. Seasons don't exist." She rolled her eyes.

"No, Clarke. We're on the ground, a hundred years before the world ended and pomegranates are most defiantly in season right now." He said, waving his hand to their surroundings.

Clarke laughed, rolling her eyes and began opening the other bins, and "My parents wouldn't let me eat I'm starved! She said. She came to a tiny one and opened it, finding a piece of paper. She frowned, picking it up between two fingers and turning to him. When she opened it, it was just a small drawing.

"I'm confused." She said.

"Well," Bellamy took the paper from her, "If we were any other people, if this was any other life, there would probably be a ring under there, you know. But I know that you don't want to get married yet and I can't blame you. But to me there are other ways to show that I'm just yours. This is one of them to me." He handed the sheet back to her, letting her examine it more fully. It was two crowns, joined together as though they had been made fused as a chain link, unbreakable. One was clearly more feminine in nature, full of jewels and the other was simple but still looked regal, "I drew that. Like I said, I'm not a great artist, but I want a tattoo of it. It's us. If you're a princess, that makes me your prince, you know?"

There was a long moment of silence and Bellamy began to think that maybe the whole idea was stupid. Clarke just stared at it for a long time.

"You want another tattoo?" The squeak of surprise that came from her lips made Bellamy laugh. While it was true she'd only finished the large scale tattoo on his back a year or so ago, mostly because she was a perfectionist and she kept finding things she wanted to fix, she had likely been under the impression that he'd never want to go under the needle again. He'd thought that too…until he'd thought of this.

And it made so much more sense to him. Rings could break, rings could be lost. A tattoo though? That was forever. The idea of having her, having his love for her, forever on his skin didn't scare him at all. He knew this would be someone he couldn't ever stop loving, even if she one day didn't love him back.

"Well, I liked the first one." He said, raising an eyebrow. Her nitpicking had paid off. It was, without a doubt, the most breathtaking thing Bellamy had seen her create (Although, he might have been a smidgen biased). It was a falcon, spread across his whole body. It's beak and head just up his neck and the wings of the bird lying from one elbow to the other, like he had the bird on his back guiding him. The feathers of the bird melted into a scene of forests with a meticulous recreation of the Milky Way and all his favorite constellations represented. The years it took were well worth it.

"You'll have three this means, right?" Clarke's eyes flickered to the group tattoo on his inner arm, "You must be in love." She laughed, "I'll get it too."

"Really?" He said.

"God, you sound so surprised! After that big declaration did you really think I'd just let you be the only one? It goes both ways, you know?"

"Well…maybe you should re-design it then." Bellamy felt very self-conscious about having something he drew, when stick figures were an achievement for him- on Clarke's skin. It felt unworthy.

"Not a chance! I want it there because you designed it. Don't you notice I only have the group tattoo?" She pointed out, "My tattoos…they aren't meant for me to enjoy, they're meant for others. It never felt right to put one of my own designs, besides this one, on me. Where do you want it?" She asked.

He held out his wrist, "So that it's always in my sight." He said.

"Okay…I'll start, well, whenever you want." She said, "God…I haven't tattooed in forever. I'm really excited now. Look at you, like twenty-million points for Bellamy and zero for me." She shook her head. Suddenly, her eyes snapped up and looked around the room and a grin slid onto her face, "But I think I have a way to even the score. This room is soundproof, right…Sergeant Blake?"

It took a minuet for his mind to catch up with his body, which reacted almost immediately.

"Are you-,"

"If you ask me if I'm sure I'm going to ask who it is that I've been nearly attacking in empty rooms these past few weeks, because you know that of course I am." She said sharply.

"Isn't it a little clichéd…doing this on Christmas?" He asked, frowning.

"Bellamy, almost everything about us is clichéd. Doesn't bother me if it doesn't bother you. Does it?" She asked, frowning at him.

"Your mad if you think it does." He said, and leaned in, both hands on her cheeks to pull her down onto the mattress. And there weren't words left to say.

It was two hours later when someone burst into the room. Luckily everything had been said and done, otherwise Bellamy was pretty sure Clarke would have killed anyone who dared interrupt them, and they were just lying together and giggling in the afterglow. At the door slamming open, Clarke made a small squeak and Bellamy threw the blanket over them completely, glaring up.

"Oh, ho, ho, finally!" God, it was Murphy, of course it was Murphy. He gave them a slow clap from the door.

"Murphy, if you don't scram within the next three seconds I'm going to give you the worst shifts for the next year," Bellamy began to threaten.

"Slow down there, buddy. Lord knows I wouldn't come here unless it was important. We all know what's happening in here. It's Octavia." He said. In an instant, Bellamy was finding his discarded clothes by the mattress and struggling into them. Clarke fished for her bra too, worry clutching her. Their medical team here was good, but not perfect. Pregnancies still went wrong sometimes.

"Is she okay?" Bellamy demanded, finishing buckling his belt.

"She's having the baby like right now. She made me promise not to bug you guys until it was really time for it. She wants you in there, Clarke, and your mom requested you too." Murphy said, "And she wants you waiting out there, Bellamy." He said.

"Enough said." Clarke said, running her fingers through her hair, "Do I look…decent?" She asked Bellamy.

He winced.

"I don't think Octavia is going to care if you're wearing makeup or look like you just rolled out of a garbage can, Griffin." Murphy pointed out.

"I'm not asking for her sake," Clarke huffed, not wanting to endure her mother's smirk when she walked in there. But she put that aside. Excitement bubbled in her stomach and worry at the same time. She'd done a few births since training, but no one she knew yet. This would be all the much more nerve-wracking.

There was quite a crowd outside the maternity wing of the hospital. Raven was there, and nodded to Clarke as she whizzed past. Monty, Harper, Monroe, Bryan, and Miller were all sitting, waiting. Simon stood at Bellamy's arrival and patted him on the shoulder. Clarke sent Bellamy one last look over her shoulder as he sat down. There were two of Octavia's friends that she'd made since coming back as Mel, nervously looking at the door. As Bellamy opened his mouth to ask a question, he heard her scream from inside.

"She'll be fine, I'll be in there." She said, and then she vanished behind the door.

"Jasper in there?" Bellamy asked, nodding.

"Yeah, he's a real trooper. I wouldn't put it past Mel to break his hand, accidentally." One of Octavia's friends said, wincing.

"I punched my husband and threaten to castrate him when I was in labor," The other friend said and the two sniggered together. Murphy muttered something, likely offensive, under his breath and Raven nudged him not so gently in the side.

"How long will it be?" Bellamy asked, "How long has she been in there?"

"Who knows? Everyone's different." The first girl said, shrugging, "Could be a long time. But I think it will be soon. She didn't want to get you and Clarke until it was nearly time for her to push." The girl looked at Bellamy with teary eyes, "She thinks of you like a brother, you know? I mean, I don't think any of us can express how much you do for her, a girl that was a stranger to you when Clarke first found her. It means a lot. She doesn't say things like that, but we know."

The other girl nodded enthusiastically in agreement. Bellamy wasn't sure what to say and hoped he didn't look too taken aback and arouse suspicion so he just managed a sharp nod. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Murphy biting his hand to keep from laughing out loud.

It wasn't long at all until there wasn't any more screaming and a cry of a baby pierced the air. Bellamy, who had been slouching and nearly asleep, shot straight up. It was only a minute or so later when Clarke came out, looking frazzled but grinning widely.

"It's a boy!" She announced and there were various replies from around the room, "She wants you all to see him, of course, but Bellamy first. Then the rest of you can battle it out."

"Awww, how sweet!" The second girl crooned. Bellamy tried not to look at them as he passed. The fear of still being found out evaporated as soon as he walked into the delivery room and saw the little bundle in his sister's arms. He remembered loving his sister from the moment she was born, the moment he held her small figure in his hands. He loved this little kid the moment he saw him too.

"I'm a dad, you guys." Jasper said excitedly, "Look! God, he's just…obviously perfect, like his father…and mother, too."

"Is she doing okay?" Bellamy turned to Abby, the last doctor besides Clarke still remaining.

"Both mother and son are doing so good. She was a perfect patient, no problems at all." She patted Octavia's arm, "I'll be back in soon for some more procedural things, but I'll give you all a moment alone while I go and log this into the computers." She said.

When she left, Bellamy could tell a weight lifted of his sister's shoulders. Abby didn't know that she was a Blake instead of Byers, and now she could be more open with him.

"We named him Sebastian. Sebastian Augustus Jordan." Bellamy startled.

"O, you don't…you don't have to do that." He whispered quietly.

"If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be here…with him." Octavia leaned down to nuzzle Sebastian's nose, "I owe everything to you. Don't you understand?" She said, holding him out for him to take. He didn't hesitate to pick up the small thing, "My brother," She said out loud, and he had never felt like his sister loved him more until this moment, when she realized that she had everything she had always wanted and he was lucky enough to have helped her have that, " You have a nephew."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there wasn't an actual sex scene for their first time (but it did happen, in case ya missed that) because I just need to feel it to write one and I didn't but if anyone else is so inspired to do one, be my guest XD
> 
> And we finally know what Bellamy's tatoo is! And it goes back to in that chapter where I say Clarke only has two tatoos she gets, yep, this will be her second and last one :) I think it's really cute! The matching tattoo ideas is sorta inspired by my parents- they have matching tattoos (of dragons, not like a couply thing) but I really like it. Bellamy is also sorta inspired by my father who despite being really terrified of needles has TWO tattoos.
> 
> The 'klepto bin' was also inspired by my mom. Back in college, she was in a sorority and one of the members was a kelptomaniac and told everyone right off the bat and this is how they fixed it. I always thought it was a rather ingenious idea and when one of my random picks when I was making characters came up as a klepto, I knew I HAD to use this!
> 
> Like I said in the above author's note, I am writing a lot, but all unpublished stuff. I'm close to the end with some of my current fics and I was afraid I'd have nothing to continue writing but then like eight plot bunnies hit me at once XD One of them is a long one-shot that's SeamusxHermione and that one actually should be out soon.
> 
> As for the other...well, I- in between updating this story last time and this time- watched ALL 7 SEASONS THAT ARE OUT of the Walking Dead. I'm obsessed. And I started thinking, ya know, a 100 TWD au would be cool and before I knew it whoops i'm like 30 pages in already. i dont' want to post it until I'm done with one of the two current Bellarke stories I'm doing, but that's coming right after. Something to look forward to.
> 
> So, the next chapter is one that really is a biggie. I like it, but we'll see what you guys think. What I will say is that I do think there are certain 'fixed points' in any story that no matter what AU I write it, usually that will happen. Like in any re-telling of Pride and Prejudice we all know that Elizabeth will meet Darcy, he'll be a jerk, she'll hate him, he'll help save her or her family in some way, they end up happy and all that. Well, that's happened in this story in a few ways, y'all have noticed. This next chapter takes care of two or three big ones. If you guys have any guesses on what that is, I'd love to know ;) And, just to get it out of the way, it's not going to earth...it's more...character based.


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHH! Yes, big chapter. Really big chapter :) So, this is a 2-parter. It was getting on to about 40 pages so I decided to cut it in half XD This chapter has a LOT of POVs that aren't just Bell and Clarke, mostly because if I didn't have them, it would be a lot of Bellamy or Clarke recounting what others said and that would be literally really boring. So, other POVs, yay! And, this is an interesting one, because it's non-linear, so it switches between the present and future, so you only get little bits at one time or another. It's so fun to write this way ;)

_NOW (14 Years After Start of Program)_

After the dust had settled, after the terrified masses had been quaintly assured by the calm and even voice of Thelonius Jaha, after everyone that would make it through was stabilized, and after Jaha had a moment in his private room where he could have punched the wall or vomited or cried and Wells saw him, and he had to admit to his son he wasn't sure how to fix this, Jaha stood with Abby at the site of the attack.

People were working to take away the rubble and the metal bent out of shape, searching through for anything re-usable, anything to further evidence to use against those that had done such horrid things. His gaze fell upon the seven bodies under a white tarp, their status inescapable. Abby was looking at them too…soon, someone would be by to perform their last rites before they made their final journey to the ground. It was looking at that last impossibly small shape underneath the tarp that made him feel murderous and sick all at the same time.

"I recall you telling me that next time we wouldn't be so lucky," Abby's voice was strained and tired, "I think our luck has run out."

"People are scared, dad." Jaha hadn't even realized his son was there. He brushed off his pants, taking off his gloves, "How did we not see this? How did I not see this?"

Although the official information on who perpetrated this crime was not yet released, certain individuals like his son knew. He saw how heavily this weighed upon his son's shoulders.

"You could not have stopped this. People that make plans like this are masterminds. No one could have." Jaha said firmly, setting his hands on Wells' shoulders, but Wells still looked unconvinced.

"I was with them everyday for years…I…I…"

"Wells," Abby broke in, "Please, that's not your job. No one is holding you responsible here. No one would ever think that."

Wells gaze rested upon the third body in, eyes misting, "She could still be here if I'd been more perceptive."

Abby and Jaha exchanged looks.

"Wells, why don't you go home for the night? There are plenty of others to help-,"

"No. I'm going to stay." Wells wrenched himself from his dad's hand, "I need this."  
Jaha hesitated for a moment before nodding. Abby pressed his arm softly.

"We have other places to be," She reminded gently. Jaha gave a jerking nod before leaving, throwing one last sad glance at his son who sorted through the things with other members of his group, the group Jaha had insisted he went in.

Halfway back to the guard's station, they came across Bree whose eyes were rimmed red and whose cheeks were flushed.

"Have you seen Wells?" She asked breathlessly. Jaha was a bit surprised, he knew his son and his girlfriend had been on the rocks recently but the urgency in her voice told him that she was terrified for him, "No one will tell me anything and I-,"

"He's fine, Bree. He's in the back, helping clean things. He needs you right now, he's taking it badly." Jaha said, eyes softening at her.

"Will all due respect, sir, we all are." She said stiffly, biting her lip, "Doctor Griffin, how are my friends? I can't…they won't let me into the medical ward since I'm not related to any of them."

"All that were admitted are okay, so far. We've done the best we can, the rest is up to them. I'll make sure that you are kept updated on any changes." She said sympathetically. Brees nodded before scurrying away to find Wells, brushing away tears with the back of her eyes.

In the interrogation room, Diana Sydney sat as though she had been invited to a tea brunch by the Chancellor and was not being investigated for orchestrating one of the most horrifying attacks on the Ark since it began.

"Jaha, I've been waiting a long time. Can you please tell me why, exactly, I'm here? It's not nice to keep a lady waiting for hours." She said. From the door, where Sergeant Miller stood with another high-ranking official to keep watch, Jaha saw his jaw tighten. Jaha felt his mood all too well, but knew he had to be smart about this. He hadn't realized it until now, but this was a deeply deceptive and dangerous woman sitting in front of him.

"Well, I think we both know. You are being charged with setting off a bomb and killing seven citizens, injuring even more." Jaha said. Diana Sydney had the audacity to look shocked.

"Me?" She sputtered, "It's a tragedy and I understand that you, as the Chancellor, need to name a villain and are pointing fingers but-,"

"Diana, we both know that you are behind this," Jaha said, "So, let's cut to the chase. Who else helped you and are they still alive? You, my dear, will die either way. Everything you own will be taken away from you, anyone you ever talked to will feel sorry. But, if you speak now, your husband might get to continue his life, if he's innocent."

Jaha saw a subtle flash of something in her eyes at the mention of her husband, which lead Jaha to think he had no idea what she'd done. He couldn't blame her husband; Jaha had known her for decades and only now was he slowly building to see what sort of person she was.

"And, you're being charged with an attempt on the Chancellor's life," Abby added, glaring at her.

"Not to mention the life of our top medical official." Jaha added, glancing at Abby.

"Now, that's just grasping," Diana said with a wave of her hand. Abby's eyes darkened.

"You are very lucky perhaps that your plan didn't go as follows." She said, and pulled up something on her holoscreen, "I got a report today that in the meeting room of the Project Iphigenia children there was a stabbing. I would have gone, of course, and in most violent interactions the Chancellor goes along to see what course of actions need to be taken. The message was sent just ten minutes before the bomb went off, which would have put us directly at the place it happened as it happened. Luckily, other things intervened." Abby said, shoving the pad toward her, "I'm quite confident if we sift through the database, which we assure you our best will be doing, the faux distress call will have come from you or a different one of your followers."

"You have nothing on me but theory right now." Diana said, standing and stretching, "We both know you can't keep me here forever, so why don't you just admit right now that it's all theories and there's nothing to tie me to this and let me go. Make it easier on all of us. If you do, I won't tell…don't want to embarrass the chancellor." She said sweetly, moving to go.

"Actually, we do." Jaha said, reaching to grab something from his pocket. Before he could, the door to the room burst open.

"Mom, Jaha- Al's awake! You need to come and hear what he has to say. Right. Now." Clarke sounded out of breath, and her gaze switched to Diana and it hardened into a black fury. She ground her teeth into a snarl at the woman and turned back, "Really, c'mon!"

"Well, it seems this is getting interesting." Jaha said, "Keep her here." He told the guards. As he left, he couldn't help but to have notice the way that Diana's eyes flashed with fear at Al's name. Yes, the most certainly had their killer.

_15 YEARS AGO_

Diana felt someone grab her from a door. She stumbled as someone roughly jerked her into a room and slammed the door. It wasn't until she turned that she realized it was only Shumway, and she relaxed for a moment.

"What was all that?" Shumway demanded, "A program for the children? You said he'd step down after this attack." Shumway growled at her.

"I underestimated how…unexpected he'd be." Diana sighed, "I thought Thelonius was far less strong, and easier to crumble. As it seems, he's done it. My people are satisfied with this new Project." She said. Shumway gaped at her.

"Satisfied?" He thundered, "What about us?"

"You mean, what about me." Diana corrected him with a look of disgust, "You're only concerned about what you'll get."

"I have a right to be. I was promised things, Sydney and-,"

"Hush, keep your voice quiet. Do you want someone hearing us?" She asked, "Linking us? We'll be floated." She reminded him. Shumway quieted, although not happily.

"So what now? What's the next attack?" He asked.

"Nothing." Diana said, and held up a hand, "And before you say something else, to launch another attack right now would be unwise. It's not in the people's interest, and if we don't have their support, we have nothing."

"So what? We give up?" Shumway kicked the bed frame with his shoe.

"Hardly," Diana scoffed, "We just bide our time. Jaha will misstep soon, he is too soft to be chancellor for more than two or three years. He'll be voted out and someone will go in who is much more…pliable to our needs." She said confidently.

"And if this Project of his is a smashing hit?" Shumway countered.

"Well," Diana paused for only a moment, "Then we wait. The tides of politics are just so, one moment in and the next out, a cycle. We merely need to wait until the waves come back to us again." She said.

"That could be years," Shumway began to complain.

"Then so be it." Diana said sharply, "When we see an opportunity, we'll take it."

She turned to leave.

"Hey!" Shumway grabbed her elbow again. She slapped him away.

"Oh, really?" She turned toward him with a look of exhaustion.

"I did my part, it wasn't easy, you know." He pointed out, nervous and edgy like a jackrabbit ready to skip off.

"Well, I suppose." She agreed, "Commander Cordero will be taken care of, and as it sounds, you are in the leading polls to take his place Major Shumway. I wouldn't squander this opportunity." There was a veiled threat behind her words.  
"I assure you, once I am placed as Commander our doors will open even wider." Shumway said, a malicious grin coating his face.

Diana relinquished a small grin of her own, "That's exactly what I'm hoping you'd say."

_NOW_

Clarke sat with her head in her hands. She sniffled, and used her hand to wipe at her nose, but when she pulled it back she was dismayed to see the color of dried blood smeared into the lines in her hands and hastily used her sleeve to get the blood from her face. She hadn't even realized how much blood covered her hands until now. She hadn't a second to relax until now, she argued.

What were they going to do?

She looked up, watching people bustle around, but no one told Clarke to get up and get back to work. Instead, they sent her sympathetic glances and murmured amongst themselves.

Clarke was so tired, so beaten down. She'd worked longer shifts before but never had it been so emotional, never had she been so terrified at each and every second that she might loose one of her friends. She just wanted to find Bellamy, curl up under a blanket with him cuddling her and cry for a good long time. She also wanted to strangle whoever was responsible, but that was second to just wanting to leave this place and curl in upon herself.

From the entrance, the sound of a person she knew gradually became louder and clearer as Clarke began to listen.

"I just want to know what's happening! Can't you let me in?"

"I'm sorry ma'am, only immediate family is allowed. Last I checked you…"

Clarke got up, grabbing her holopad that she'd set next to her, and turned the corner to see Bree arguing heatedly with the guard standing watch at the entrance to the hospital. They were cutting all cases that were not an emergency today and limiting the people who came in, otherwise the whole of the Ark would be here, pressing their noses into an already stressful situation.

"Clarke!" Bree's face relaxed a millimeter when she saw her friend, "Everyone is dying," She pulled a face, scowling and shaking her head, "I mean, we just want to know what's going on? I was sent as a representative but this jerk-,"

"Hey!" The guard said, shoving her back a little, "Do I need to physically walk you away from here?" He demanded, "Bring you in?" Clarke raised an eyebrow. Never in her life did she think she'd see Bree being threatened with being written up. The girl was furious now, though.

"Let her through." Clarke said, stepping between them.

"Clarke, we can't just let every somebody off the halls walk in here." The guard said with a sneer, "She isn't related directly to anyone in the accident."

"She's family." Clarke said with a stern resolution, "Let her through."

The guard's face morphed into a half-apologic, half-condescending but totally faux smile, "I get it. You and Wells are like siblings, she's going to be marrying the little Chancellor so you all feel like you're one fucking happy family, but it doesn't work like that." He said, bringing his guards stick across his chest.

"No," Clarke said, feeling like as though her urge to punch someone would be well used on this asshat, "We're a family." She said once again with more precision in her voice, yanking Bree's arm to reveal her group tattoo on the underside of her arm and Clarke shoving up her shirt to show her own, sticking out on the skin above her waist.

"Little club tattoos hardly mean anything." The guard said, but looked more unsure, "Look, Griffin, I'm not going to just do whatever you say and then turn around and get written up. I just can't believe you."

"You know what?" Clarke said, stalking up until she was inches from his face, "I'm going to-,"

"Clarke…" Bree sighed, "You tried. Let's not send anyone else to the hospital today." She said, looking sideways at the guard.

"Yes, she's right. Wouldn't want you getting hurt." The guard agreed, looking at Clarke with a satisfied grin.

"I was talking about you." Bree said dryly, "I'm going to go find Wells. Promise me you'll let us know if anything changes?" She said, her big blue eyes shimmering.

Clarke locked her jaw, but stepped down from her challenge. She nodded to Bree.

"I'll talk to my mom. She'll listen to me." She said.

Clarke sent one last nasty glare at the guard before going back to the main area, waiting to be summoned to a room for better or worse news. She saw her mom and Jaha passing through not long after, and hurried to catch up.

"Mom!"

"Clarke, oh baby…" Abby turned, seeing the sweat and blood drying on her daughter's face and gently took both her cheeks in her hands.

"Mom, Bree was trying to get in. You gotta let us in, the group. You can't leave them in the dark. We're a family mom and you made us like this and the attack was against _us_ and you can't just let them sit there with no knowledge when their brothers and sisters are dying and-," Clarke's plea came out all in one large breath and she didn't realize she had started crying until her mother wiped her tears from her face.

"Clarke, we already saw Bree. I agree, and I'll talk to the guards about it." Abby said softly.

"I never thought you all would become so…closer…" Jaha murmured, eyebrows knitting in thought, "I am sorry for your loss." He then added after a second. Clarke accepted it with a tough nod.

"We're going to be in the interrogation room, Clarke. Will you be okay here?" Her mother asked worriedly, "You look ready to fall over."

"I'll be okay," Clarke said quietly, "I need to be here."

Her mother kissed her forehead one last time, leaving Clarke alone again. She sat back on the chair she had previously inhabited, biting the inside of her lip.

There was commotion from room eight. She jumped up, scurrying over to the room where a couple doctors and nurses were pressing to the door.

"What's going on?" She asked.

"The Asian kid is waking up." One of the doctors near her own age said and Clarke's face turned sour.

"Al," She said hotly, "His name is Al."

Using her elbow and a couple meaningful coughs, she shoved her way into the room to where Al was starting to sit up, his eyelids fluttering.

Clarke watched with a held breath as he opened his eyes all the way, alive and awake. Then, he panicked.

"Al!" Clarke was at his side immediately, "Al, it's okay. You were in an explosion, but you're fine now. You're in the hospital." She said, pressing comforting hands to his arms.

"Clarke?" Al coughed, looking at her with wide-eyed confusion, "I'm not…dead?"

"No, although you gave us quite a scare." Clarke said softly, sending a pointed look at the doctors still hovering as she pulled up a chair to sit by him.

Al's fingers instinctively traveled down to his chest, "I was shot though?" He said, looking at the wound, realization lighting up his eyes.

"Yes, we didn't think you'd be awake for a while. Do you remember at all what happened? Everyone else didn't have much to tell us." Clarke said. Al's eyes narrowed.

"Everyone else?" He repeated. Clarke was about to answer back when she saw a series of emotions flicker across his face; first just the confusion that he'd had previously, then realization, then sadness…horror…disgust. She was so enthralled that she forgot she was going to answer him.

He suddenly grabbed his hair with his hands, eyes widening as he shook his head frantically. His next words sent shivers down Clarke's spine.

"There wasn't supposed to be anyone there. No one was meant to get hurt. They promised me, they promised me. I…they tried to kill me. Oh my god, Clarke…" He muttered over and over.

"Hey!" Clarke grabbed his arm, "What are you talking about? You…you did this?" She asked, her throat going dry.

"I never meant to…It was just supposed to be a demonstration, no one was meant to be injured. I would have never thought that they were trying to do that." Al sobbed, shaking his head again.

"They?" Clarke asked, frowning.

"Yes there was A-,"

"Yes," Clarke said quickly, "We know about her." She didn't want to hear the name of the friend who had so deeply betrayed them. She couldn't dare to hear it. Not yet, not now.

"Do you know about Shumway and Diana?" He asked, turning toward her, a quiet tone in his voice. It was resignation, as the weight of his actions settled upon him.

"No…we didn't…" Clarke whispered quietly.

"It was all Diana, really, but Shumway helped too. They gave us everything. They were the ones who planned it all." He frowned.

Clarke got up abruptly.

"I'm going to get my mom and Jaha. I think they need to hear this."

_14 YEARS AGO_

Al sat playing with a bouncy ball in the Agro Station dining hall. He looked up at his mother and father who were taking their meal portions and threw the ball harder against the wall.

Today had been a really shitty day. He wasn't supposed to be using that word, or stars, even know what it was but he had heard his father use it when he was really upset about something. Al thought this qualified.

His parents had just told him he was going to have to marry a girl someday, a girl he didn't even know and they wouldn't tell him and he wasn't allowed to get a say in it. He didn't even like girls right now, at the age of 8, he thought they were giggly and sparkly and altogether too annoying for him.

Marriage was farther than the last thing on his mind. Despite his protests, his parents didn't seem to care that much.

Worse? He couldn't tell a single person.

A woman passed through the dining hall that he didn't see much. He saw her sometimes while he was walking near the upper stations, and she was passing through, but he hadn't ever seen her in his area before. He threw his ball and it bounced off the edge of a table, rolling directly to her feet.

She turned toward him and he cowered, sure that he was about to get yelled at. Her eyes were sharp for a moment before they turned softer. They weren't kind, but they weren't mean either.

She came and held out the ball to him.

"What's your name?" She questioned, tilting her head.

"Al Cozens." He whimpered, "I'm sorry."

"What are you apologizing for?" She asked, sitting down beside him.

"I dunno, I just am told to apologize a lot." He said, frowning. The woman studied him.

"Cozens…you wouldn't be the grandson of Chancellor Cozens, would you?" She asked, smiling grandly. Al nodded.

"I never knew him," He said sadly, "But my mom says he was the best. I like to think he is."

The woman grinned broadly, "He really was. I only got to see him as a young girl, but he indeed was quite a person. Caring, generous, understanding…the sort of person that deserves to be the chancellor." She said.

Al was quiet a moment, "Who are you?" He said, scrunching his nose.

The woman laughed as though he'd told her a really funny joke, "My name is Diana Sydney. I was the chancellor before Jaha." She said. Al's mouth turned into an 'o' shape.

"Wow…" He whispered.

"You seem to be having a bad day, are you okay?" Diana questioned, turning toward him.

"I found out I have to marry some girl today. Girls are yucky. I want to live by myself one day, not with her." He said before he could stop the words, "I'm not supposed to talk about it." He said after a moment, wincing.

"It's alright, I know about it." She said.

"You do?" His face brightened, "Can you tell me who I'm gunna marry? My parents won't tell me. I just want to know."

"I'm sorry, I don't know that right now." Diana said sympathetically, "But that's sad that you don't get a say in it. I'm terribly sorry. It's quiet unfair."

Al's shoulders dropped, "Yeah…" He sighed.

"Do you want to be a chancellor like your grandfather was, Al?" Diana asked suddenly, studying him.

Al shrugged, "I dunno what I like yet."

"Well, do you want to make a difference? Possibly help do something about this rule?" Diana tried again. Al thought for a long moment.

"Sure," He finally agreed, "That sounds fun." His smile brightened a bit.

"Well, how about this? I mostly talk to people in the lower stations, but it would be cool to have a smart and responsible young man up here helping me with the upper stations. You tell me what's going on in the group and I see what I can do. How about that?" She asked.

"Like a ninja or a spy?" Al bounced in his seat. Diana's mouth twitched into almost a warm smile.

"Yes, something like that." She agreed. Al nodded enthusiastically, "So, how about we meet once a month? I'll help you, you help me."

"Sure! My parents will-,"

"No, you can't tell your parents." Diana said, "Would a spy tell it's parents very secret information?" At Al's dubious look, she added, "Plus, they lied to you about your marriage. Can you trust them?" She said, sending him a look. Al thought about how upset when was that his parents had lied and signed him up for this. It made Diana seem very smart to remind him of that.

"You're right." He hissed, "They can't be trusted."

Diana's face relaxed from her taught smile, "Good, good…well, I'll see you next month. Be on the lookout for anything suspicious and let me know your group is going." She said. Al nodded dutifully. She was just leaving as his parents came back.

"Was that Diana Sydney?" His father asked, watching her leave and scratching his chin. Al opened his mouth to say yes, but then recalled he was a spy with a mission.

He tucked into his rice and gave his parents an innocent look, "Whose that?"

_THREE HOURS BEFORE THE ATTACK_

Bellamy makes a face at Sebastian, who looks at him and then grins wide and tries to mimic it. Bellamy sticks out his tongue and the baby awkwardly repeats it, sticking out it's little tongue and sucking on it for a second before becoming much more preoccupied with his mother walking back and forth with Elliot. She sees Sebastian and her grin grows wide as she comes to sit on the floor next to them.

If Aurora could be around Octavia and her grandson every second of the day, she would, but she can't without raising some sort of suspicion. So, from the day that he was born, she tasked Bellamy with being her eyes and ears, to report back practically everything he does.

Bellamy would find this annoying if it were anything else, but as it is he greatly enjoys an excuse to be around his nephew all the time. He is often struck by how much he looked like his mother and he has all these strange flashbacks to Octavia as a baby, the way he held her in his arms and how quiet she was…how different that was to now.

And he loves Sebastian. He didn't think it was possible to love a tiny human so much. On one hand, it makes him ridiculously excited for his own kids, but on the other he's happy to just be an uncle for now…whenever Sebastian gets fussy or hungry, he can just hand him back to Octavia with no stress required of him.

Octavia is completely proud of Sebastian. He never saw her as a mothering type, until she had him.

"Look at him, following us! Stars, he's so intelligent. I think he has his father's brains, don't you?" She coos, tickling Sebastian's stomach. He splits into a toothless smile and paws with his arms and legs, "Much smarter than the other babies, of course." She assures, kissing his forehead.

"As much as I agree that he's going to be a regular Einstein and appreciate the sentiment to my intelligence," Jasper says from where he works on a new design for the Ark's water filters, "I think we can't compare him to the other kids that are practically newborns still."

The 'other kids' that he referrers to are the two other children from the group that have been born in the two and a half months since Octavia had her baby. And, since it takes far longer to be re-accepted into the guard after having kids compared to going back to a desk job, Octavia has made a makeshift daycare for the little ones. Besides, no one trusts their offspring with someone other than a fellow group member. Bellamy has a feeling all twenty some kids are going to grow up like family to each other.

Octavia likes it thought, being home with Sebastian. She's never said this outright to Bellamy but he knows she had a hard time when she was forced to leave for her child's safety that it was a tough acceptance between being a mother and having a job. She acts tough about it, as though this is just something to keep her occupied while she trains and gets her body and mind back into shape, but Jasper told Bellamy that she likes having the excuse to be around Sebastian all the time. She talks about how their mother was around all the time during her life, and as much as it annoyed her to death sometimes, she was glad that she had a parent that was so present.

"No! Sebastian, ugg, spit that out." Octavia said, hurriedly handing off the kid she was holding to Bellamy- Elliot Hagger- to rush to Sebastian where he'd stuck something in his mouth.

"Yes, he's just brimming with intelligence." Bellamy chuckled as he watched Octavia fish for the object from his lips. He turned his attention to the little girl, sticking his tongue out at her. She was about two months old and looked just like her mother. Everyone had been pretty excited about Tom and Sarah's kid; they helped a lot with the whole idea. People like Bellamy and Clarke, well they would have gotten together even if they hadn't been put in this program. It helped the other participants to see people that might not have gotten together so happy and adjusted and with their kid. It gave everyone else hope.

The other kid that Jasper was holding was Keshawn and Marisha's son, Trent. People had been…less excited for that. Everyone just felt bad for Trent. Keshawn was just as awkward with children as he was with adults, it was found out. Bellay was sure (or, he hoped) that Keshawn loved his son, but he wasn't entirely sure. Trent took after his mom right now with his tanner, and most people hoped he would in personality too.

There was a knock on the door. Jasper went to open it and was greeted by a guard.

"Uh, hello?" Bellamy could hear the tone of nervousness in Jasper's tone. It was years after Octavia became Mel, but he knew that they would always worry. Bellamy still did too.

"Er, hey. I'm just looking for Bellamy." The guy said. Bellamy set Elliot down in the pack-n-play and stood. He saw the guardsman, Inspector Booth, and waved to him. Booth relaxed when he saw Bellamy, "Hey man, I just came by because I need my tablet back." He said.

"Oh," Bellamy went to his backpack. He'd had Booth's tablet to correlate a recent investigation, "I told you I'd give it back to you before your shift. It can't be that late already…" Bellamy tapped the time. It wasn't.

"Yeah, well I was asked to take over Ana's shift, it's technically already started."

"Ana?" Bellamy frowned, "Why? What's wrong?" Ana had never missed a day of work in her life, and most certainly hadn't ever left in the middle of one, as it seemed now.

"I dunno. Something about labor…" Booth shrugged, taking the tablet.

"Labor?" Octavia coughed, "Impossible. She's not even pregnant." Booth's eyes widened and he stuttered.

"I don't know. I just know I was asked to come in. I mean, I'm pretty sure that's what it is but…" He coughed, "I'll ah, see you later, Blake." He nodded.

Bellamy went straight back to his own tablet.

"Pregnant?" Jasper echoed, "But she just got married like not that long ago. Not long enough to have a kid already…"

"Well, we all know they were having sex before they got married. It's entirely possible her implant freaked." Octavia pointed out. Bellamy logged onto the medical wing, seeing those admitted within the last hour.

"So?" Jasper asked.

"Yeah, labor." Bellamy agreed, "But…there's a code here, something's wrong. I need to go find Clarke and see Ana." He murmured, worry over washing him for one of his best friends.

"Okay, tell us everything!" Octavia said as he left in a hurry. He found Clarke at Raven's house and pounded on the door.

"Whaaat?" Raven demanded, "We were girl-bonding." She said, put off.

"Clarke, Ana went into labor." Bellamy said in a rush of breath.

"What? She wasn't-," Raven began to interrupt but Bellamy shoved the tablet in her face.

"Oh no…" Clarke's face instantly turned ashen.

"Rae, I gotta go." She said, "This symbol, the baby's premature. I should be there." Clarke said.

"Of course." Raven said, sobering instantly, "We'll continue this later." She said. Clarke put a hand on her arm.

"Think about what I said, alright?" Raven looked shy and blushed, but nodded. Bellamy wasn't sure he'd ever seen her blush.

"So?" Bellamy prompted once they were out of earshot.

"Huh?" Clarke was caught up in her thoughts, "Oh, well…we were talking about Murphy. How she loves him. I told her she shouldn't wait, you know. She's still trying to figure out how to let Finn down gently."

"Well, just tell him how it is." Bellamy snorted.

"She doesn't want to hurt his feelings- can we talk about this another time? I'm worried about Ana. This could kill her, Bell."

Bellamy was told to wait outside while Clarke scrubbed in. He found Toby, looking completely white and pale.

"Did you even know?" Bellamy asked.

"Not for long. I mean, we only figured it out a week ago. We had an appointment in a couple days…what if this kills her? What if she dies?" Toby asked, his voice cracking, "Bellamy, I need her for this. I don't know how to parent alone." He said. No one brought up the fact that neither the baby nor the mother might survive.

This was far worse than when Octavia was having her kid. There wasn't the stress put on it, the worry.

Finally, Clarke came out, her hands still with some smears of blood.

"The baby's alive." She whispered, "It's a girl. We couldn't stop it, she was too close to giving birth. She's only 27 weeks, so…we need to keep her here for a couple weeks, give her more time to grow."

"Will the baby live?" Toby asked.

"We hope?" Clarke gnawed her lip, "But that's really young. Babies have survived at this stage, but it's nowhere near ideal. She might still have some developmental issues because of this."

"God," Toby managed to choke out, "And Ana?"

"She's okay, for now. I mean, she was bleeding a lot when she came in. We don't know why she went into labor so early, but we're hoping to do some tests in the coming days." Clarke said, "The important thing is for now they're both alive and that was part of the hardest fight." Clarke said reassuringly, "Would you like to see her?"

Toby gave a sharp nod. Bellamy trailed behind a little lost. He caught a glimpse of Ana lying on the hospital bed, pale and still and hoped she was merely sleeping now. She'd been his friend since the start of this crazy mess. They'd gone through everything, including jobs, together. Apart from Simon or Benny or his family of course (which he included Clarke in), he trusted her more than anyone else.

They were led to where a small pink body was placed under a heat lamp in what looked like a little glass cage.

"We can't take her out yet, I'm sorry. You'll have to wait to hold her. But you can touch her through these." Clarke said, motioning to gloves inward into the bed. Toby hesitantly put an arm in, reaching out to feel her hands. Bellamy had known babies were small but this one was a whole different level of tininess.

Clarke was looking at the kid like she already saw a tiny urn. Bellamy knew from her face that she didn't think she'd make it, but stars, she hoped.

Bellamy and Clarke watched in silence as Toby interacted with his daughter for the first time, unable to touch her, unable to properly meet her. It could have been a couple moments or half an hour, time stood still in these quiet times. Until, of course-

"Ana's missing!" One of the student nurses rushed in, out of breath.

"What?" Toby snarled, turning back, "How can you lose a severely wounded woman that just gave birth?" He demanded.

"I don't know. She asked for some water and I went to get her some and when I came back she was gone and-,"

"Hush, we have cameras. We can find her. How long ago did you leave to get some water?" Clarke asked.

"About half an hour ago."

"It takes you half an hour to get water?" Toby broke in.

"I also had to put in her blood tests. She looked she was going back to sleep, I just figured…oh god, I can't believe I lost a patient."

"Shh…" Clarke patted her back, "Look, we'll be okay, okay? We can find her, don't worry. It's not your fault." She sent a hard look back at Toby, daring him to say something. He locked his jaw but was silent.

"Come this way. I can accesses the cameras through the medical computers, just come with me." Bellamy said, grabbing the nurse's hand and leading her over to a kiosk.

As he was logging on, there was a rumbling echo first, like how he imagined thunder would feel like. It was just a shaking, enough for him to look up from the computer, just in time to hear the loudest echoing bang he'd ever heard. The lights flickered and it seemed like the entire Ark shook.

He shot Clarke a frantic look.

"What the hell was that?" She asked.

Bellamy abandoned his task of looking through the cameras, running off toward the sound of the blast despite people calling him back.

"Nothing good!" He yelled over his shoulder.

_TWO YEARS AGO_

"Arg!" Ana kicked the wall of the Ark with her foot. She instantly regretted it; stars, if she broke her toes because of this and couldn't work? Well, that would just be icing on the cake, wouldn't it.

"You okay?" Ana looked up to see a councilwoman walking past; Diana Sydney. She knew the woman to be cool and collected. Ana often got the feeling there was a lot more to her than she could see. She didn't like people who kept secrets, but she sure as hell respected them. She saw it as a challenge. Now, she hardly thought of all those things. All she could feel was the burning sensation of her toes.

"It's just a bad day, s'all," Ana muttered. Diana gave her a sympathetic look.

"Oh, darling, you must be in the Project Iphigenia." She surmised. Ana shot her a glare.

"How'd you know?"

"News travels fast around the Ark. Didn't think it would be so long for you all to find out."

"Yeah, well, the whole thing is bullshit, you know? Totally archaic, completely undermining my rights," Ana snarled at the woman, turning away.

"Oh, you must be Ana." Diana said with a quiet laugh, "One of the only female guards with quite the list of opinions…it's impossible to not hear of you." She said.

"So what if I got opinions? I can't help it everyone else is so in love with everything the chancellor does and the whole way this stupid Ark is run to say anything." Ana said crossly, locking her arms over her chest. She wasn't the tiniest bit afraid to be mouthing off someone who could make her life very bad. Diana seemed to recognize that and a wide smile grew across her face.

"I daresay we need more people opposing common thought." Diana said reassuringly. Ana's posture relaxed.

"…Yeah?" Ana asked, surprised to hear her say that.

"I wish I could help you more, get you out of this…" Diana sighed longingly.

"Well, you didn't make this stupid rule." Ana said, her anger washing away to just…emptiness.

"I take it your not a huge fan of authority. It's interesting you chose the guard." Diana said.

Ana shrugged, "Gotta stay in it to watch it." Ana said by way of explanation. Diana waited a very long moment before she asked her next words.

"Would you like to make a difference? Not change the world for the better, but instead prove that you all are not merely pawns? Remind everyone that you are people? You could be a revolutionary." Diana asked. Ana's brow creased. She tapped her foot, ow, she reminded that she had kicked it.

"I'm listening…"

_RIGHT AFTER THE ATTACK_

Clarke's head swam. Gurney after gurney of people being wheeled in, friends, people she knew and loved. Stars, she just couldn't believe it. It hadn't been long after Bellamy ran off that her mother had dispatched people to bring back any injured. She was expecting one or two. There were a lot.

She felt so torn. She wished her mother would just assign her someone to take care of, because right now she was torn between helping Fox or Matt or Brad or any of the other people that were being wheeled in. She had never felt so incapable of choosing something in her life.

"CLARKE!" Murphy's voice pierced through the bedlam. She snapped her head around to see Murphy, his shirt covered in blood, carrying Raven in. For one terrifying, heart-stopping second, Clarke was sure she was dead. Clarke was sure Murphy was bringing her in to show her. But she saw his frantic eyes and knew she had to still be alive. She knew in this instance it would be most prudent for her to push aside her personal fears and look at this medically and logically but she couldn't. Every time she tried, she saw Raven's face.

She did manage to feel Raven's pulse and it was there…but barely.

"Clarke, she's shot. I found her like this. She's going to die, isn't she?" Murphy asked in a waterfall of words, spilling out, just like the tears that spilled down his cheeks.

It took Clarke a second to gather her thoughts. She registered Murphy's words and her eyes traveled down to her legs where she could see the blood was coming from, slick and coating Murphy's hands.

"We need to stop that blood, fast, otherwise she will die." Clarke said, finding her voice, "And see about that bullet asap." Clarke turned, flagging down a bed, "I'll take care of her Murphy, I promise."

"What?" Murphy sputtered, "I have to be with her-,"

"I'm sorry, but you can't…" Clarke trailed off as Raven's lips moved. Murphy shoved his way to her side, grabbing her hand.

"Raven? Rae…can you hear me?" He whispered, grasping her hand like it was a lifeline. Clarke came up behind him, holding her breath.

"Finn…?" Raven murmured, "Finn…I need…to talk to you…" Then, she slipped back into a deep sleep. Clarke looked up at Murphy. For a second, it looked like someone had stabbed him in the gut. The look of sheer…hurt. Not anger, not at her, just agony.

"Murphy, let me-," Clarke said, knowing full well he was taking this entirely the wrong way.

Murphy shoved Clarke away, so forcefully that she stumbled back two or three steps. A guard stepped forward, but Clarke shook her head. Murphy looked shocked at his own hands.

"Just…fucking save her." He muttered, shaking his head. Clarke watched him go in despair, watching him leave. She called his name but he ignored everything, just vanishing back into the hustle of the busy hospital.

"Ms. Griffin? We need you here." A nurse pulled Clarke back into reality. She looked at Raven. She would explain it all later, if she could. She really hoped Murphy wasn't going to do something stupid, but Raven needed her right now.

_RIGHT BEFORE THE BOMB_

Raven tapped her feet anxiously in her room. She was worried about a lot of things. She was worried about her 'secret work' and that all their efforts would be for nothing, she was worried about Ana having a kid no one knew she was having…but most of all, she was worried about Finn. Not about his reaction to what she knew she had to tell him, but how to tell him. She didn't want to alienate him…he'd been her friend before she had any friends. Even before Murphy was her friend, even before Clarke. And she didn't want to hurt him. She loved him; just not in the way he wanted her to love him.

"If he's really your friend, he'll support you," Clarke had told Raven earlier today. Finn's suggestions for them to run off together behind Murphy's back despite the law were becoming more and more wanting. He'd had the whole big speech before, yeah, and then he hadn't said anything about it for a couple months…waiting for Raven to come back to him. But she knew she couldn't. She'd tried to let him down gently before, but 'gently' wasn't working. He was becoming obsessed with winning her, beating out Murphy, taking every chance to prove that he would be better.

And Murphy just let him.

She didn't think Murphy was bowing out of anything, quite the opposite. Murphy was a ball of arrogance and she knew he thought he didn't have to do anything to make his betterment shown, and in a way he was right.

At least, Raven hoped he liked her back. He'd done so much for her but hardly ever had said anything about them together as a couple, not even anger. It was just…radio silence.

But it didn't matter anymore. Even if Murphy didn't want her she couldn't imagine not wanting him. Finn just had to accept that.

She paced for hours, speaking out loud to her mirror, trying out the best ways to let Finn down explicitly but gently. Nothing seemed right. So, she went to find him. She figured in the moment it would all become clear.

She went next door, knocking on Finn's door. His mother answered.

"Sweetie, you okay? You're sweating quite a bit."

Raven rocked on the soles of her feet.

"Yeah, fine. I just…is Finn here?" She peered into the room but saw neither boys present. She wasn't sure if she wanted Murphy around or not during the whole thing. She'd have to face Murphy next, tell him that she loved him. Maybe it would be easier to get it all done with.

"No, he went out a little bit ago? I'm sure he'll be home soon; he promised his father he'd help him fix the heating in here. You can wait for him, if you'd like." She offered.

Raven frowned, "You know I could fix that heating in like two seconds, Mrs. Collins." She said.

"Of course we do, but I think they're just looking for an excuse to feel like men. Come on in." She offered again. Raven gave a firm shake of her head.

"No, it's fine. I think I'm going to go find Finn. I need to talk to him." The last thing Raven wanted, and was sure it was the last thing she wanted, was his parents there while she broke his heart, even if they seemed to love Murphy equally at this point. Still, Finn was their biological son and no mother wanted to see their kid suffer.

"Oh, well, good luck." Mrs. Collins squeezed Raven's arm. She seemed to know. Was it so obvious that Raven had been petrified and debating about this all this time? Raven managed back a forced smile.

Mrs. Collins informed Raven that Finn had gone about to the trade center. His shoes were breaking and apparently a relatively well looked after pair of sneakers had ended back up on the bartering table not long ago.

He wasn't in the barter room. The sneakers were gone, meaning he had been there, but the lady doling out objects hadn't seen where he'd gone. So, plan B-find Murphy, he usually knew where Finn was all the time these days. She passed their meeting room. She wondered if this was where Murphy was hanging out. No Murphy, no Finn.

"Hey, Raven." Fox waved to her with her bright grin, "Wanna play me in checkers? I feel like I might actually be challenged." She joked. Sterling, who was loosing badly, scowled across the table.

"Hey, if we played that trivia game, you'd be loosing." He grumbled, "Although against Raven in either she'd probably kick our assess." He laughed.

"I'm sorta on a mission. You guys seen Murphy or Finn anywhere?" She asked. Sterling and Fox looked at each other and then back at Raven and gave grand shrugs.

"Murphy?" Matt spoke up from the other end of the room. The area was pretty deserted, besides the three talking to her and Brad lounging in the corner. Matt was wrapping a gift, "Well, he was here before, but he left like twenty minutes ago. Dunno, Bellamy called him in to work."

"What are you doing?" Raven asked, examining the table he sat at, which had a couple presents and a box of food.

"It's my goddaughter's birthday," Matt grinned, "I suggested we all meet here since no one uses it much anymore, at least not at this time of day. She's turning six." He said proudly.

"Aww, how adorable!" Fox squealed from the table on the other end of the room.

"Yeah, she's pretty great." Matt chuckled.

"Well, have fun." Raven said, nodding to him, taking her leave, "I still have people to find." She gave a long sigh. Sterling looked up, nodding sagely. He somehow seemed to know what she was doing. Fox gave her a verbal goodbye, Matt waved, and Brad gave a grunt. Just as Raven left, Zoe Monroe entered, carrying a bundle of something with her.

"Hey Raven!" She greeted, "Matt, I found a table cloth…"

Raven bit her lip, turning the corner, wondering why Murphy was called into work. Well, if he were on shift it would be extremely easy to find him. Hopefully that would lead to Finn. If all else fails she would go back to his house, suffer the embarrassment of doing it in his own house, just because she didn't want to put it off any longer.

Above her, the lights flickered. Raven was instantly alert. There had been reports of faulty wiring lately and Raven knew how to fix that stuff, in a pinch. She veered to the left and found the door next to the meeting room's hallway where the fuse boxes were kept, the area right behind the main wall of the meeting room. It was wide open, and she nearly stumbled over a pair of feet.

She did a double take when she turned her attention to what had tripped her up.

"Al? Oh my stars," She said in one long breath, dropping next to him. He was unresponsive, thick blood trekking down his cheek from his temple. She pressed her ear to his chest. He was breathing, thank god. She started to lift him onto her shoulder when her eyes caught something in the fuse box.

Raven, like all teens too smart for society, pretty much knew how to make a bomb. Not that they'd ever want to actually use one, but back when they were gothic and moody teens, they all asked someone or figured it out themselves. So, Raven knew with 100% certainty that she was looking at a bomb worked into the electricity of the fuse box.

She grabbed her walkie.

"Raven!" A surprised voice startled her. She turned to see Ana, staring at her in horror.

"Ana," She breathed a sigh of relief. Thank stars a guards member had come along. She'd know how to handle this, "Someone put a bomb here. They knocked Al out too. I'm going to call this in, can you help get Al to the hospital and then get your boss?" She asked, "We need to get video surveillance of this area."

"Why don't you take Al in?" Ana frowned, stepping over him, hardly looking at him, "I can call this in."

"No, no…" Raven waved her away, "I can describe what this is to whomever shows up, probably can help find who built this…you know, who had materials and such…" Raven pulled the walkie out of her pocket, flipping it on, "Hey, Sinclair-,"

"Raven, put it down." Ana's voice was like steel behind her. Raven turned, utterly confused until she was face to face with an old-fashioned handgun, inches away from her face.

"What?" Raven managed out.

"Put the walkie down, kick it away." Ana said in a perfectly quiet voice. It was only then that Raven recalled that Ana was supposed to have been giving birth. She'd been so caught up in Al and the bomb that she hadn't even thought of that. Ana looked pretty ill, granted, but not like she had just given birth. Raven was extremely confused, "Put it down!" Ana's voice was sharper, like the grating of nails on a chalkboard, "Or else." Ana clicked the gun's safety off. There was a hint of mania in her eyes…Raven didn't doubt her threat for a second.

"Ohh…kay…" Raven said softly, "I'm putting it down, no problem…" Raven said quietly, looking for ways out. She'd done a little bit of practice combat training, but Ana was years above her in experience, sick or not.

"Kick it that way," Ana snarled. Raven was smart enough to know when not to stir up trouble. She complied.

"Oh, Raven…" Ana gave a long sigh.

"Why?" Raven asked. It was obvious now who put the bomb here. Ana didn't answer. Instead, she looked at Raven with such pity.

"You know, I actually really like you." She pouted, "But knowing this, knowing you, we can't have you fixing this problem before it happens. You know that, right?" Ana said, locking eyes with Raven. In that moment, Raven knew that she was going to kill Raven, no hesitations about it.

"Matt! Brad! Monroe!" Raven screamed, ducking away from the spot she had been, hoping someone would hear her. She threw herself across the hall into a secret passageway, managing to drag Al halfway across the hall too. She was sure now he was just a poor innocent like her that came across the wrong thing at the wrong time. She couldn't haul him into the bones of the ship, but managed to wedge herself behind the wall and close the trap door behind her. She used her hands, keeping it firmly shut.

Her heart thudded in her chest. There was an airway behind her, but far too small for her to fit through. She didn't know how this would end; she didn't know what was coming next.

She heard the click of the gun and before she could re-position herself, Ana shot right through the wall of the hall, right through the door. Raven saw the pinpricks of light before she registered the blinding pain in her side. She let out a cry and cut it off as she felt dizziness overwhelm her. She slumped to the ground, watching a red puddle ooze underneath her. Her vision was slipping in and out…

The door way opened and Ana looked in, seeing Raven dying in her own blood and gave a satisfied nod. She turned back. Raven waited until she had walked away and dragged herself from the hole. Her legs felt like they weren't even there anymore.

Ana was preoccupied with the bomb. She didn't notice Raven feebly crawling out. Just as Raven managed to lug her body out enough to grab the walkie, the bomb went off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol, so as I was writing this, I got done with this section and was like 'that would be an awesomely evil place to leave the chapter' and it just so worked this was about half-way through :) Some things just work!
> 
> So, since this is a two-parter, I'm basically done (just needs edits for part 2) so I will either update on Thursday, which is going to go back to my update day OR when I reach 15 reviews on this chapter!
> 
> There is more evilness to come, but some really good things to, so...you def want to see what happens next ;) If you can't tell, this is one of those 'fixed points' or the idea Diana will, in any story, put a bomb and rebel. There's other fixed points here and in the next chapter.
> 
> I'm pretty tempted to draw that scene with Murphy carrying Raven. Hmm...we'll see.
> 
> Remember to review! Love you all :)


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this took much longer to get out than I intended. I mean to upload it on Tuesday, but then it was Valentines day, on Wednesday I got surprise called into work, and the last few days I've been sick and basically just sleeping. So...yeah. But, the reviews were overwhelming. This is nearly 15,000 words so I think you guys will feel pretty content with the way things are tied up.

_AFTER_

Clarke sat outside, waiting for her parents to finish up with Al. She hoped it would be enough to send that despicable woman, Sydney, to her final moments before being floated. Being floated wasn't good enough for her, not by a long shot, not when she had killed her friends.

She took a lap around the patients recovering, and then another, and another. She wasn't sure if she was walking because she wanted to or because she just needed to keep moving lest she forget how to altogether. One part of her wanted to go find Murphy but the other couldn't bear to leave her friends when their lives all hung in the limbo…just waiting for them to wake up, to be okay.

She passed by where Fox and Sterling were. Luckily, they weren't as close to the blast as some others. They had been just walking near the meeting room when it happened. Fox sustained burns all along her left side and Sterling got his head bashed pretty hard against the wall when the bomb went off, but they were perhaps the least scathed… if that was even something to be happy about, in comparison.

She saw Fox stirring. They'd both been put on morphine, but decided that their wounds were minor enough to not need to be put in a medically induced coma. She first groaned, and Clarke was by her side immediately.

"Fox? Hey, it's Clarke…" Clarke said in a quiet, soothing voice, "You okay? You were in an accident, but you're fine now…" Clarke's lip quivered. She remembered there was going to be people she'd never get to say that too.

"Sterling?" Fox whispered, "Where's…Sterling?" She whispered, using all his strength to mutter his name.

"He's here, right next to you…" Clarke said, helping her turn over to face him. She reached out trying to find the space between their beds to his hand. Clarke picked up his hand, not as cold and clammy as she thought it would be, but alive and full of blood, and helped it bridge the gap.

"Sterling," Fox whispered quietly, her eyes fluttering open, hardly even concerned with anything but him.

Sterling groaned, and Clarke saw his hand tense around hers.

"F…ox?" He whispered back, "Are you okay?"

"I think so…" Fox managed back, finding her voice once again, "Are you?"

"I'm alive, aren't I?" He gave a lazy grin back, his eyes traveling up and down the gauze covering nearly her entire body.

"What the hell happened?" He asked.

"A bomb," Clarke broke in. It warmed her heart to see them rely on each other so tenderly, that kind of love couldn't be faked, best friends or lovers. It was one of the only pure things she'd seen today, "Ana help put it off. She betrayed us." Saying Ana's name, forcing it out her throat felt like spitting up tar. It hurt to say. It hurt her whole body to admit that someone she thought she knew had the ability to devastate all of them like that. She didn't say Al. She wasn't sure what his role in all this was, not yet. But they knew it was Ana. They all knew it was Ana.

"Matt's goddaughter…" Fox suddenly said, although Clarke didn't know whom she was talking about, "Adrian. She was in the room with us. She's six, is she okay?"

Clarke felt her heart drop to the bottom of her chest. All she knew was that a six-year-old hadn't been wheeled in and that there were some deceased. It was easy to put it together. She gave a slow shake of her head. Fox didn't hold back her rasping sob, and Sterling looked sick.

"Clarke! We could use you in here, your friend is going mental!" One of the older doctors called.

"Who? Monroe?" Sterling said hopefully.

"Raven," Clarke answered, "She was shot." She sent a look that promised the pair that she'd explain it later and fled back into the room Raven had been treated in.

"Clarke, what the hell is wrong with my leg?" Raven demanded when she saw Clarke, "Why can't I feel it? What happened?"

Clarke took her friend's hand gently. "Raven, I need to tell you something.

_RIGHT AFTER THE BLAST_

Bellamy thundered through the halls, running in the opposite direction of everyone streaming away from where the blast had come from. Halfway there, Bellamy felt a rock in the pit of his stomach as he realized where the smoke was coming from.

The hall leading to their meeting place was like a scene from a sci-fi movie gone wrong. It looked like a giant monster had come down and scooped out the walls, bit off the wires and threw the pieces all back. There was the smell of metal burning, like copper in his mouth, the smell of fires still flaring, and the worst thing-, which Bellamy had never smelled before but knew exactly what it was the moment the smell hit his nose- the smell of flesh burning.

He found himself standing in piles of rubble where he thought their meeting room once was. It was hard to tell, with so much destruction. It was hard to tell that this had once been anything, really.

He saw Fox near the entrance, and saw the burns that ran up her side like a crater on the earth's surface. She had been so beautiful, so dainty and perfect. Some of these burns would never heal. He leaned down, saw she was breathing and kept moving. He knew that doctors would be right on his a tail and Bellamy was on a mission. On a mission for truth, justice, or revenge…he wasn't sure right now.

As soon as Ana had been announced missing and the bomb went off, Bellamy knew that it had been her. He'd been groomed as a guardsman to make these connections and would bet anything that if he found her here it would confirm it.

And there she was, in the back, bleeding from all over…but hell, she was still alive.

Bellamy paced for a second, angry and unable to form what to do. He saw something sitting loosely in her fingers and pried it from her. It was a gun, which was a rare thing indeed.

If one could imagine, guns and a metal ball hurdling through space didn't mix well. The guard had guns, but little known fact was that they were instructed to basically never actually shoot them. They usually never had to; people could be overcome with other means. Bellamy had never actually had to shoot a person in all his years as a guard, and Sergeant Miller confirmed the same…and he'd been on the guard a helluva lot longer. Even so, he'd had years of practice before he was even allowed to carry a gun. Citizens weren't supposed to have them, not working ones, at least. It was too risky.

He saw something engraved on the side. The name made his mouth go dry and his body seize with fury.

 _"Shumway,"_ He spat. He'd always know there was something off about that guy, something weird. This must have been a family heirloom. There was pretty much only one way it was in the hands of Ana, if Shumway was working on this too. He thought back and realized that he saw someone that looked like Shumway lying dead, undeniably dead, in the wreckage but hadn't thought much of it. Bellamy didn't think Ana orchestrated this whole thing; she didn't have the means, so whoever killed Shumway was tying up loose ends.

Bellamy wasn't sad to see him go.

He checked the barrel, one single bullet left. But it had been used. He wondered whom on?

There came a quiet moan from Ana. Bellamy zeroed in on her. She came to, blinking around and shook her head.

"No…no…shit," She muttered to herself.

"What? You didn't mean to blow up a whole hallway?" Bellamy asked unkindly, fury pounding through his veins.

"Bellamy," Ana gasped, as though she was just seeing him, "No, I was meant to be a martyr. I was supposed to die with this." She said firmly. Bellamy hadn't been expecting that. He'd expected her to blubber, pretend she was innocent.

"Why?" He demanded, "And who helped you."

"You know you'll never get me to tell." Ana gave him a dark smile, "But, someone like me who wasn't going to sit here and let people with too much power make pawns out of us, Bellamy. Don't you see? You're playing into their game."

"Their?"

"The whole fucking council. God, how are you so blind?" Ana asked, looking at Bellamy for the first time ever like he was an imbecile and an unwanted bug.

"So this is your answer?" Bellamy shouted, waving the gun, "Killing people?" He asked.

"I'm a revolutionary, Bellamy." Ana said, completely convinced.

"You have a daughter, you know." Bellamy said, "Did you even look at her?" He demanded. Ana gave a stiff shrug.

"A kid I never wanted but was forced to have." Ana said, "But I'm not a monster. Hopefully my actions will maker her freer." Ana said.

"You forced yourself into labor…" It seemed so obvious now, and hell, Bellamy didn't want to know how, but it was clear. His eyes gazed around the area. It landed on a shoe, too small. He numbly walked over it and picked it up. Just beyond his gaze, under the rubble with no chance of surviving, was a hand sticking out… a child's hand. He felt his vision go red.

"Look at this!" Bellamy threw the shoe at Ana, "A kid. Hardly older than your own. Look at this, what you did and tell me that this was the right thing to do!" He yelled, so upset he felt like he might vomit.

"No one is innocent!" Ana rose her voice as much as she could, "You're all tainted."

Bellamy grabbed her face roughly, "Look me in the eyes again and tell me to my face a kindergartener deserves to die! Tell me!" He demanded.

Ana only gave him an oddly placid smile, "Of course she was. It's not her fault, it's the fault of this society, but some stains can't be washed away."

Bellamy hardly even thought as he stood and raised the gun at Ana. His lip quivered and his eyes filled with tears. Ana just…looked at him. No fear, no sadness, no anger…just nothing.

He pulled the trigger and she slumped against the wall, a circle of blood oozing from her forehead.

As he retold it to Clarke, the only person he ever admitted it to, he himself wasn't sure why he did it. A part of him admitted that yes, his anger had overcome him and people like Ana deserved to die…but she would have. She wouldn't have denied it and she would have been sentenced to death anyway. A part of him told him he still loved her as one of his best friends and it was done out of mercy, and that they wouldn't have wasted the medicine on her…a killer…and she likely would have been tortured to death long before she reached the floating hatch. And then, a smaller part of him that he didn't want to admit out loud but did, said that maybe it had been exactly what Ana wanted him to do and he played right into her hand, and Bellamy knew this and did it anyway. It was the first person he killed, but at least he was consoled by the fact that her death, and everything leading up to it and the question if what he did was right, would haunt him forever. It would have been worse if he had been like Ana and killed without feeling a damn thing.

He looked at Ana after, unable to comprehend that she was dead, even though he'd been the one to shoot her. It was…unreal. It felt like an episode of those Twilight Zone shows Clarke had shown him. He felt like he wasn't even in his body as he went to the rock and rubble that the girl lay under and slowly started to work it away.

"Bellamy…" Jaha's voice startled him. He looked up and only realized how hard he was crying when he had to wipe away his tears to see.

"It was Ana." He whispered, "She and Shumway and probably someone else. She had this." He deposited the gun into Jaha's hands.

"Bellamy…" Jaha's voice was impossibly quiet, "You don't have to do this." He said.

"There are going to be some of my friends in here, sir. This was _our_ room. I have to find them." Bellamy pointed out.

"Oh stars!"

Bellamy looked up at the doorway to see Monty, Bryan, Miller, Jasper, Murphy, Octavia and Monty's parents by the door. A couple other people trailed in behind them, although Bellamy wasn't sure if they were here to help or to gawk.

"We're here to help." Octavia was the first to find her words, "We were all getting dinner when…" She swallowed thickly.

"Ana's dead." Bellamy said, his throat tightening, "Who knows who else was here…" He trailed off.

Abby arrived shortly after with a crew of beds and people ready to help carry back those hurt and still alive. He watched as they gingerly lifted Fox onto the stretcher, Abby's face gave. He was glad Clarke wasn't here to see this.

And so, they began to dig through the remains of what once had been a happy place.

_AFTER_

Bellamy rubbed the dust from his fingertips and palms, shaking out his tears. Too many friends dead. Too many friends injured. Too much of everything.

They'd cleaned away most of the rubble, most of the debris to know that they'd found everyone that was going to be found.

The hospital was still buzzing around. He saw Fox and Sterling sitting up and breathed a deep sigh of relief.

"You're okay!" Bellamy couldn't help but hug them both, minding their injuries, "You have no idea how relived I am." He said in a long breath.

"You were digging people out, weren't you," Sterling saw the dust coating his body like a second skin, "Dude, I'm sorry."

Bellamy almost said he was okay, but then realized he wasn't, so he didn't.

"Raven woke up."

"Raven was there?" Bellamy frowned, "I didn't…"

"Murphy brought her in, I think." Fox replied, "She's over there." Bellamy gad a nod, intending to go find her. He saw Stasia and Marisha running around helping, because even though they were a dentist and veterinarian respectively it was all hands on deck. Stasia came over to help Fox when she pressed the button and as much as Bellamy usually hated her he couldn't help but feel as though they were all in solidarity now. And, Ana might have just taken her spot, as much as he felt ill to admit.

"Bell?" A croaking voice beckoned him from a room before Raven's. Bellamy backtracked to see Matt blinking at him. Bellamy breathed out; he'd found Matt at the site, "You…you took the rock off me…"

"Yeah," Bellamy said, coming into the room. Trina was there, checking his vitals. He hadn't seen Clarke, but they all had lots of things going on. He was sure any moment now he'd be called to the guard's area.

"Take it slow," Trina advised him, "You just woke up."

"How long has it been?" Matt frowned.

"Long time," Bellamy sighed, "How…are you?" He didn't know how to broach the subject delicately.

"Well, pretty shitty but…what?" Matt said, frowning, "What else?"

Trina and Bellamy shared looks. Bellamy wasn't sure how he didn't realize yet.

Slowly Trina pulled back the blanket covering his bottom half. As she did, he saw something click in Matt's mind and watched him freak out.

"Where's my freaking leg?" Matt demanded, starting to hyperventilate, "Where…what did you do to my leg?" He said, staring at the stump of his left leg, cut off right after the knee.

"We couldn't save it," Trina said, "Matt, I'm sorry-,"  
"Bullshit!" Matt said, "Sew it back on! You guys can do that, right?"

"Matt," Trina said, grimacing, "There wasn't anything left of your leg to 'sew back on'."

"Gently, Trina…" Bellamy muttered, although the sentiment was correct. There hadn't been anything at all except some bloody sinews when he'd found Matt. He'd been semi-conscious but when Bellamy took the rock off his left leg, revealing nothing, Matt had passed out. Bellamy thought perhaps he remembered.

"I can still feel it there, though." Matt murmured, staring down in shock at his leg.

"You might. Phantom aches. Your brain might not just have caught up…you okay?" Trina asked. Matt didn't answer, "Oh, gosh, he might be going into shock!"

"Well, he had to find out sometime." Bellamy pointed out.

"I don't know what to do with this!" Trina freaked out a bit, "I just started!"

"One second," Bellamy gave a long sigh. He saw Jake walking around and waved him in, "Do you know where your wife is? Matt erm, he just found out he lost his leg and I think he's going a little catatonic."

Jake nodded immediately, and found Abby who rushed them out of the room to console and help Matt.

"You look awful, kid." Jake said, handing him a rag, "You should wipe some of that grime off."

"I just watched two of my friends die." Bellamy said quietly, but accepted the rag. He was glad Jake was here. It was almost as comforting as having Clarke.

"Are you okay?" Jake asked, catching his gaze. Bellamy didn't feel as stupid or pathetic or afraid to admit to his future father-in-law the truth.

"No, and I don't know when I will be."

_BACK_

"I found Kane, he's alive!" Jasper called out.

"Kane?" Octavia frowned, "What was he doing here?" She turned to Bellamy. He watched the way Abby hastened a little quicker to him and thought about everything Clarke had told him about the pair of them. Bellamy shrugged.

"I'm glad he's alive. Maybe since he was a council member, he knows something…" He frowned, "Water?" He offered Octavia his water bottle.

"No, I think I'd just puke it back up," She answered honestly. They'd unearthed the whole of the little girl that had been killed. They'd found Matt, so bloody that they hoped it was just his one leg that was gone. They'd loaded away Fox and Sterling to the hospital, prayers on their breaths. They'd uncovered another dead body of a man who looked like the little girl…and there was still work left.

Bellamy wiped his brow, biting back a sigh.

"It's Monroe," Someone said in shock from over on the left side of the remains of the room. Bellamy stood up straight, paralyzed in fear for a moment, before hustling over there with everyone else. Finding a child, that had been hard. And finding those that he grew up with in this Project, that was hard too. But Monroe? She was part of his inner group. It felt like he was finding Ana all over again.

Bellamy threw himself to the crumpled wall, frantically brushing away rock and cut his hand in his haste.

"Abby! We got Monroe over here!" Someone called and Bellamy worked harder to free her. He gave a sigh of relief; the ceilings had formed a cocoon around her, an empty space and she hadn't been crushed as badly as others. For the most part, it seemed she had been entombed in metal.

Abby hurried over.

"Is she still alive?" She questioned. Bellamy saw the very faint moisture of breath gathering on the metal in front of her and nodded firmly.

Monroe gasped, moaning awake. Bellamy shoved a piece of metal out of the way to see her shirt bloodied and fear gripped his stomach.

"Hey, Zoe, hold on…just hold on." Monty shoved his way to the front, reaching for her hand, "Just a couple more pieces."

Monroe gave a timid nod, gripping Monty's hand firmly.

Bryan helped Bellamy grasp a heavy part of the pile that had been ceiling beams and pull, but as they were pulling, there was a terrible creaking sound above them.

"Fall back!" Bellamy said, shoving everyone behind him, "Monroe, try to get out of there!" he demanded, knowing that they'd pulled the wrong piece and it was able to fall at any moment.

"Monty, Monty!" Zoe gasped out frantically as she struggled against a sheet against her side.

The pile creaked ominously again. Bellamy grabbed Monty by the shirt but Monty wrenched himself from Bellamy's grip with a surprising strength.

"No! I have to save her!" Monty said, throwing himself at the hole, shoving at the metal with all his strength.

"Monty, please-," His mother began to say, but before she could finish there was the worst creaking sound of them all and then all the metal so precariously stacked fell forward, throwing up dust and settling on the ground with an echoing bang.

Bellamy threw his shirt over his nose, blinking away from the screen of fibers in the air, coughing. Bryan had shoved Monty's mother away, who had began to go toward the structure too. Everyone just stood in silence for a couple moments, staring through the white particles as they settled back onto the ground, looking at the collapsed pyramid of support beams and wiring.

No one spoke.

Then, there was a shuffling from one of the sides. A metal sheet clattered forward as Monty's foot kicked it, and next thing everyone knew; Zoe's tiny body was being shoved through the hole. Next came, Monty coughing up onto the ground, a gash above his forehead.

"Monty…" His mother breathed in relief and her and his father stumbled forward to help drag Monty the rest of the way out.

Zoe reached forward, curled in a ball and everyone surged forward. Monty gently pushed away his mother's worried hands, kneeling beside Monroe. Bellamy surged forward, picking underneath Monroe's armpits, Monty grabbing her legs and helping load her onto a stretcher that Abby had waved over. They set her down gently, but she had hardly touched the surface before Zoe began to cough violently, gasping in breaths of air as though her lungs no longer could hold anything.

Monty's fingers gripped around her hand tight, staring in horror as she continued to make faint wheezing sounds interrupted by brutal coughing until a dark liquid bubbled up her throat. She began to make choking sounds and although Abby immediately turned her on her side, by the time that she was facing more towards the floor, she was silent, the blood just pouring down her chin and her eyes vacant.

"Monroe, Monroe?" Bellamy said, shaking her.

"Bellamy…she's gone." Abby said quietly, setting her on her back, using two fingers to gingerly shut her eyes.

Bellamy swung toward Monty at the same time everyone else did. It was as though everyone suddenly recalled that they were betrothed.

"Monty?" His father asked quietly. Monty raised his hands, trembling over her cheeks but not quiet touching, as though in death something separated the two.

"Baby?" His mother asked in an agonized voice, "Oh, stars." Bellamy had thought he loved Harper, but looking at Monty's completely crestfallen face, the look of someone who just lost someone who might have been his everything, was heartbreaking. Finally, his hands touched her cheeks in the most reverent way. His bottom lip jutted out and his forehead feel to her chest where he let out a gasping sob.

"We…we dug her out. She's not injured anywhere…" Jasper asked in a frail voice, "Why?"

"She probably had internal bleeding. We couldn't have known…and, even if we did, it's unsure if we could have stopped it in time." Abby said quietly, pushing up her shirt a bit to show bruises blooming underneath the surface, nodding in acknowledgement of her guess.

"Gone, just like that?" Octavia echoed quietly and Abby gave her a saddened look.

And yes, just like that, another friend was dead.

_FORWARD, TWO DAYS LATER_

"Chancellor Jaha?" Bellamy knocked on the door to his office, "I'm sorry if this is a bad time sir, but-,"

"Never, come in, come in." Jaha said, trying to find a smile but Bellamy still saw taut lines of insomnia and anxiety pulled across his face.

Bellamy turned behind him, raising an eyebrow and motioning for the people following him- Simon and Murphy- to step inside. Jaha looked mildly surprise at their arrival, but nothing extremely unexpected.

"Just tell him what you told me." Bellamy said in a low sigh when neither spoke.

"You still haven't floated that bitch then?" Murphy said, glaring at Jaha.

"John!" Simon hissed, nudging him hard in the side.

"What? I have a right to be pissed, you know. Did you see what she did to our friends? To us? She would have happily killed us all if she coulda gotten us all in that room." Murphy said, "I think my language is appropriate."

"No, we haven't." Jaha said, "This is a delicate manner, a ongoing investigation. We can't be wrong." He said.

"Which is why you two could help." Bellamy said, putting his hands on their shoulders to steer them further into the office, "Al's word isn't for much, you know."

"Fine." Murphy muttered and Simon spoke first.

"Well, we heard about Al and how Diana…recruited him. I mean, it's easy to imagine it happened with Ana in a similar way, Diana knows exactly when to pick her targets. And we both realized that we think she might have tried to recruit us too." Simon said, "If this at all helps."

"Why didn't you ever say anything?" Jaha asked, not upset, but still frowning.

"Well, she came up to me…right after my dad and mom died and I tried to burn down the home of that guard, and she asked me if I'd like to get even. I thought about it, hell I did, but the Collins adopted me already and I told her I had tried to get even and it didn't work. She pushed a bit more, I don't recall much- I was pretty young- but eventually I think I told her to just go away." Murphy recounted, "I was young. I didn't remember it until now."

"Did she ever saw how to 'get even'?" Jaha asked. Murphy shrugged again.

"Like I said, I remember it happening because Mrs. Collins saw me talking to me and asked about it and they were acting strange but I don't really remember specifics."

"And you, Mr. Dibdin?" Jaha said, turning.

"I was older, so I remember." Simon said, his face turning dark, "It was right after my parents were floated and Charlotte was put in lock up. She found me at their memorial stone and told me that we could work together." Simon made a disgusted noise in the back of his throat, "Told me she could get my sister free. I didn't believe her, plus, I'm not all too into violence. Plus, I figured she was still just bitter that you beat her out for chancellor. My parents used to talk about how she pretended she was okay with it but secretly she was pissed."

"What did she want in return from you?" Jaha asked.

"Well, she first just asked me to keep an eye out on my classmates for dissent, probably to cultivate more people, and I felt weird about spying on people in the first place. Then, when she said something about 'becoming a legend' it felt…weird. I dunno, I turned her down."

"I surprised she didn't murder you in your sleep after that." Murphy scoffed.

"I told her I would think about it. I didn't want to become her enemy so I always just stayed…on the fence about it, whenever she asked." He said, "But I think she got Ana and after that she didn't need me and I stopped thinking much of why she stopped coming around. Thought she just realized I wasn't going to join." Simon finished.

Jaha was silent for a long second.

"There are likely others," Bellamy said quietly, "Other she tried to get to. Diana is smart enough to cast a wide net."

"Yes, I'm sure there is." Jaha seemed haggard by this thought, "I wish I had known this was going on, right under my nose. Think of how catastrophic this could have been if there was more, and I'm not saying that to lessen this attack. I'm just saying that it's unforgivable it ever got this far."

"Can we go?" Murphy seemed really antsy, "I need to get back to the hospital."

Jaha looked at him, a warmer smile replacing his tired one.

"Of course, I'm sorry to keep you."

_BACK; AFTER THE BOMB_

Murphy stepped outside for a second; or, he figured it would have been outside had the room still exist. It was hard to tell. But, from the scratched metal under his feet, he thought that maybe he was standing in the old hallway.

Zoe Monroe was dead. He'd just watched her choke on her own blood, grasping to Monty in her last seconds before she just went limp like a dead flower. He hadn't stayed around to see her face covered in a white sheet.

He hadn't seen Raven at all today and that freaked him out like nothing else. He thought that she, of anyone, would have been here helping. She was like that. He'd went to her house, but she hadn't been there. Mr. and Mrs. Collins had told him she went looking for Finn earlier today, which felt like a punch in the gut, but he had no reason to think Finn would be anywhere near here. So, he figured she was safe. Maybe she was helping Clarke in the hospital. Maybe she was running scenarios with Sinclair in the lab, trying to work out the damage of this bomb. Maybe she was working to identify the bomb, since he'd seen some workers in hazmat suits pick out pieces of the rubble and carry it away.

He considered the fact that they hadn't found her a very, very good sign. At this point, he didn't think there was much else for bodies to be hiding under. Soon, it would just be clearing away debris to salvage this room, or parts of it.

He turned his head left, and saw a trickle of blood dried, like someone's body had been dragged. That must have been where Al was. He was pretty banged up, one of the first discovered. A doctor theorized at the scene that he had been knocked out first and dragged away, that he'd seen too much.

He hadn't known Ana had been so capable of this disaster. Sure, she'd had a big mouth. That's what most people liked or hated about her. And she had some pretty strong theories. But she seemed to love the Ark and the people so much. Then again, in her own twisted way, maybe she had thought she was saving them.

Murphy found his feet dragging him to the source of the blood. The door to the fuse room was lying on the ground, bent in an impossible shape. His toes shifted through some bullet casings on the floor. How strange…they weren't looking toward the area of the bomb, but toward the other side of the hall. He turned to see a bullet hole in a wall, and kicked aside the remains of a table to see a line of bullet holes riddling the lining.

He backed up until he imagined where Ana would have been, raised his fingers as though he was shooting a gun, and frowned. This was deliberate. What was Ana shooting…or who?

Something hanging, snagged on a piece of the fallen Ark caught his eye. A necklace…with a raven on it.

His fingers reached toward it for a second in disbelief, before he snatched it from its perch. He began to look harder at this area. There was blood that was too much to have been from Al. He didn't think it was a strange accident that this was here, that Raven set this necklace down. She never did; Murphy always hated it because of which it was from, but in this moment, he'd never been so glad she wore it constantly.

"Raven?" He said, trying to follow the blood. He turned a corner and found Raven against the wall, out of the way. She was cut up from the blast, but the worst of it was her back, still bleeding. Her jeans were red with her blood and her shirt had begun to soak it up too.

"Raven!" He yelled frantically, shaking her, "No, no, no, god, c'mon don't leave me here. Don't be dead." He said, reaching over and pressing his fingers against her neck. For a long second, he didn't feel anything, and it was a worse feeling than when his father had died. It was unparallel to anything he ever felt.

"I don't care if you pick Finn, I don't care if our entire lives are you being married to me but loving him, but please for the love of the stars, don't die on me. I promise you can pick him, and I won't be made. If you live…I'll…I'll…" Murphy began to blubber. He had never believed in a god before, but he was desperate. He offered God the same bargain. Then, like magic, he felt the faintest beat of her heart.

He wanted to grab her tight, savor each moment before she'd chose Finn and he'd never feel her again like this, but Raven had to live. He knew he wasn't interested in a world without her in it, even one where she wasn't with him.

He picked her up, carrying her like a ragdoll to the hospital where they could save her. He'd already done his part.

_FORWARD_

"I'll…never walk again?" Raven echoed, eyes widening.

"I never said that," Clarke sighed, but gently repeated her words, "We can do the surgery to get the bullet, but since it's in your spine, so it's risky. It could still kill you."

"And if I never take it out?" Raven repeated numbly.

"You won't walk." Clarke said, frowning, "Raven, you don't need your legs here. You're a zero-G mechanic, you spend most of your time floating in space anyway." Clarke pointed out.

Raven shook her head frantically.

"No, no. I…I can't not walk. I need my legs. I'm going to need my legs." Raven amended, staring at her motionless legs intensely.  
"For what?" Clarke asked incredulously, "If you think it's about sex and all you'll all still be able to feel…all that." Clarke said awkwardly, blushing a bit but Raven continued to shake her head.

"Clarke, I need that surgery. I can't tell you why, but I need my legs."

"Is it worth possibly dying for?" Clarke asked, frowning, a little angry. She didn't think Raven was thinking rationally at the moment.

"Clarke," Raven grabbed her friend's hand, "I promise you that if I don't have use of my legs for the future I won't survive. Please, sign me up for the surgery." She begged.

"How about you think a day on it? You just woke up and you're still pretty high on pain meds. We don't have to make a choice right now."

Raven sent Clarke a desperate look but admitted momentary defeat.

"Well, fine, get me a wheelchair then." She said.

"Well we can arrange that, but-,"

"No. Right now."

"Raven." Clarke breathed out through her nose in frustration, "You can't leave."

"But I need to. I need to find Finn, Clarke. I need to talk to him." Raven said with a growing sense of impatience.

"I'm sure he'll come to you soon enough. I'm surprised he hasn't come through, knocking a guard out to see you." Clarke said a little bitterly, "And then you two can have all the time in the world for your love affair." She added a bit too harshly. In all honestly, Clarke was salty. She thought Murphy was the obvious choice for her friend, and they'd just talked a day ago about how she loved Murphy. But when she'd heard Raven murmured Finn's name…yeah, Clarke was a little confused and upset. She thought maybe at first it had just been that Raven had been looking for Finn to let him down. But the more Clarke thought about it, the more she thought that she wouldn't be murmuring Wells name if she were unconscious. She very much wanted to be wrong. She'd never seen Murphy so hurt in her whole life.

"What?" Raven stopped trying to escape for a second, staring hard at Clarke.

"Do you remember anything before waking up?" Clarke asked.

"I remember…Al and Ana and she shot me." Raven said, frowning with though, "Everything else is a blur."

"Well, Murphy brought you in-,"

"Murphy?" Raven's voice cracked, "Why isn't he here?"

"Well, you sort of said Finn's name when you were passed out." Clarke said evenly, "As you can imagine…"

"Oh no!" Raven said, covering her head with her hands, "Stars, he must be thinking about it the entirely wrong way! I…I must have been…I was looking for Finn before all this…to give my necklace back…" Raven said, staring at the Raven necklace on the table, "It wouldn't feel right wearing it when I was with Murphy." She said in a quiet voice.

"So you do pick Murphy." Clarke said, relieved.

"Of course I do." Raven said, no quiver in her voice, "I told you before, Clarke, I love him. I love him more than I could love Finn."

"I was just…ah, never mind."

"So you know why I need to find him, especially now." Raven said.

"While I admire your devotion, you really shouldn't be moving at all right now. I'll find him." Clarke said, "I'll make sure he gets in here."

"Okay…" Raven said, still biting her lip nervously, "Well! What are you waiting for, god, go!"

_NOW_

Murphy sat with his head in his hands. He'd just directed Finn to the hospital, "I uh, think Raven wanted to talk to you…" He said in a quiet voice. He didn't have to fell Finn what it was about, from his voice, Finn knew. And, he saw Finn grinning like he'd won a million credits. Bastard, one part of him thought. But, if their position were reversed, yeah, Murphy would have been grinning like an idiot too.

At least Raven was okay. She was in good hands and he would have heard about it by now if she were dead. Word traveled fast here.

"There you are!" Clarke appeared on his left, panting, "Do you know that I have been running up the whole damn ark to find you?" She demanded, catching her breath and leaning over.

"Yeah, and?" He said snidely, until he saw Clarke's lab coat, "Oh no, is Raven-,"

"That's why I'm here." Clarke said, looking up at him. She didn't look sad, though. Murphy was instantly confused. Clarke looked at where they were and laughed, "Stars, I never knew you were a romantic." She said. They were in the place that he'd given Raven her space walk. He hated how she'd seen right through him. He didn't think anyone would find him here, since the activity was all on the other side of the Ark.

"Yeah well," He spat out, "If she's okay, can you just go, Griffin? I really, really want to be alone right now." He growled, rubbing his temples.

"I'm here on Raven's behalf." Clarke said, finally breathing normally again.

Murphy gave a visible wince, "Yeah, she choose Finn. I understand, no need to send the messenger." He rasped out.

"No!" Clarke said, and that one word made him more hopeful than he'd ever felt before, "You have it all wrong, she choose you." Clarke said.

Murphy opened his mouth to speak, but all that came out was air. Finally he managed a small, "What?"

Clarke was grinning at him, and Murphy shook his head.

"But I heard her, she said Finn's name, she was looking for Finn today and-,"

"God, Murphy, just shut up for a second. She's in love with you. Raven loves you." Clarke said slowly, "Do I need to say it again? She was looking for Finn today to tell him that she can't love him and to ask him to stop bothering her."

Murphy stared at Clarke in absolute shock for a second before he began to laugh hysterically. Clarke was looking at him now like he was crazy, which in all honesty he probably was, until he caught his breath.

"I just saw Finn and sent him to Raven. He thinks she's picking him. Lordy, I mean, I think I should feel bad he's really going to be let down but, wow." He finished.

"Awe, c'mon. You were just in his shoes a second ago." Clarke said, scowling at Murphy, "Don't be mean."

"I'm sorry, I just…" Murphy shook his head. He had a grin on his face he couldn't quite keep off. It was an exhilarating feeling.

"Can you say it again?" He said after a long second.

"What?" Clarke said as they began to walk back toward the hospital wing.

"About…how Raven feels towards me." He said quietly. Clarke looked smug.

"Murphy, Raven has loved you forever. Probably longer than I have loved Bellamy. If people thought we were oblivious…jeeze."

They reached the entrance to the hospital just in time to see Finn leaving, looking like a kicked puppy. He glanced up at Clarke and Murphy, a nearly murderous look on his face that after a second was just replaced with sorrow.

"Be nice." Clarke muttered under her breath, "You two live together, you know." She added dryly.

"Finn!" Murphy called after him, and when his adopted brother turned he added, "I'm, uh, sorry man. Really."

"No, we both know you're not." Finn said, and rocked on the balls of his feet before nodding quietly to him, "But I won't contest it anymore She's not going to chose me, ever. I'll, uh, see you at home for dinner." He said awkwardly before leaving.

"That went as well as I thought it could." Clarke muttered under her breath, rolling her eyes.

She helped Murphy get past security, although anyone in the Project had been put on the list of acceptable entrances, and led him to Raven's room. For the first time ever, Murphy felt so nervous that he was going to barf. But it was a good nervous, a very good nervous.

Raven's whole face lit up the second she saw him and he didn't have a doubt in his mind that this whole thing wasn't still a big lie. He took three big glides over to the edge of the bed and before Raven could say anything, he leaned down and kissed her. And he realized…it was their first kiss. Even during that one night which felt like years ago, they'd been cautious not to kiss because a kiss said so much more than words could. He had never thought a sentiment was truer than right now, where he pressed every feeling he had into it.

"I love you too, Raven." He said when he pulled back. Raven's whole face was a wide grin and using the strength of his upper body pulled him down on top of her before kissing him again.

By the door, Clarke gave a couple long claps with her infuriating smirk on her face. But yeah, Murphy decided he and Raven probably deserved that.

_FORWARD A LITLE_

Clarke took a moment to rest to have some dinner, brought up by Jezila and Roma. Well, it wasn't food for everyone, but they brought up some specifically for their friends that had been hurt- if they had strength enough to eat- and those working tirelessly to save them. Clarke had nearly declined their offer, but seeing the boxes of food and their pleading eyes, it had been hard to resist. Plus, once she had sat down with a plate and her stomach growled she realized it had nearly been a whole day since she'd last eaten.

Salad, some fruit, plates of pasta…it was, indeed, a banquet. Roma and Jez stayed around, watching their friends eat with pleasure, glad to feel as though for once they were of use. They were currently chatting with Fox, the three girls giggling about something. Clarke gave a sad smile…Fox would never be as pretty as she once was. Ana and Diana and Shumway and even Al robbed her of that. But, she didn't seem upset. Sometimes, Clarke forgot just how strong Fox was.

"Oh…peaches." Bellamy said, sitting down next to her and Clarke's parents- who she had invited to share this meal with. They both also needed a rest; Abby running and controlling every patient here and Jake working on the damage scenarios with Sinclair of the attack.

"This is quite the meal, Clarke." Abby said as Clarke pushed a third of her plate to her mom, "Quite the meal…" She echoed softly, thinking.

Clarke knew what was behind her mom's words. This was hard to come by. Fruit was some of the more expensive treats. Salad was middling, pasta was easier to come by, but they'd dressed it with spices and a sauce so it felt like a meal fit for a chancellor.

"It's surprising how many connections you form with forty some people," Clarke said dryly, always reminding her mother firstly that she shouldn't be so surprised that, god forbid their group became close but secondly that they were indeed close and it was her second family, and there were a lot of them.

"It's nice of them to do this," Jake said, eagerly taking some, "They didn't have to. I'm sure we would have gotten fed eventually."

"Yeah, but I think we all want to feel like we're…part of something." Bellamy said, grasping for the words, "This wasn't an attack on the Ark as a whole, but on us the group of forty-four…ahem, excuse, forty-two." He said, amending his count with a blush of anger and sadness draining into his eyes.

"Dr. Griffin, Council Member Kane is starting to wake up," A guard said quietly, alerting Clarke's mother. She stood a little too quickly, her eyes a little too eager, until she looked back at the group watching her intently.

"As, um, a member of the council I should check in right away to monitor his progress." She said, trying to walk as though she wasn't itching to see him.

Bellamy looked away, feeling as though he was intruding on something incredibly private. He did, however, take a moment to watch Clarke's face. It was unreadable.

Clarke was watching her mother go. She knew far more behind her mother's words than it seemed. Her parents didn't fight anymore, and that's honestly what scared her. She felt in their older age their fights were the only indication they cared anymore. Clarke felt like she had known for a while, didn't want to admit it out loud. It was hard to see your parents fall away from each other so hard, like comets blasting in two different directions. She wanted her parents to be happy, but did she want them happy apart?

She looked at her dad, who saw Clarke's questioning expression and rubbed her head.

"Don't worry about it, kiddo. Adult stuff." He said, shrugging.

"I am an adult, dad." Clarke whispered, "I don't want you to be hurt." She said honestly. Okay, so her mom was happy. Yippie for her. But her dad? Stars, Clarke didn't think she could stand to see him depressed.

"Oh, my little princess," He sighed, putting his arm around her and pulling her in close, "I should be the one concerned about you. It's not your job to take care of me, not until I'm old and farty." He said and Clarke broke a smile, swatting him gently.

"Really, dad." She whined, "I…just…"

"Clarke, just know that whatever happens our love for you will never waver. That's all that matters." He said, thinking her upset for all the wrong reasons. And, that one statement said more about where her parents were than anything else did. It cemented something for her. It felt like an end. She didn't know what was going to come next and honestly she was really afraid.

Luckily, or unluckily she'd amend her thoughts later, she didn't have to sit with this uncomfortable knowledge long before a monitor began beeping in one of the patient rooms.

"That's Brad." Clarke sighed in relief. He was the last of their friends to wake up. He'd been closest to the bomb's blast radius, and on the other side of the wall, so he'd sustained the worst injuries.

Keshawn jumped up from his chair where he was eating too, sending Clarke a nod of acknowledgement. How these two ever became friends was sometimes beyond Clarke, but hey, they were both pretty unbearable at times.

Zahira stood, twirling her fingers nervously. She'd been trying to catch up on some sleep on one of the empty waiting room beds. Clarke had advised her as such, since she was pregnant and liable to give birth any day. In general, stress and lack of sleep wasn't good for babies. Even if they didn't love each other, they'd at least come to like each other- Zahira and Brad. Sarah hit Tom awake, who was dozing on one of the most uncomfortable hospital chairs in the whole place, a feat in itself. Their daughter was still with Octavia.

As Clarke began to look around, she realized most of their group had slowly made their way in, visiting various people, flitting around doing this and that. There were only a handful missing, ones that were probably working and would be here if they could.

Clarke and Keshawn came to the edge of the bed. Brad was blinking around, looking heavily confused. Clarke blamed it initially on the pain medication. His whole body was a mishmash of bandages and gauze, and he looked like a mummy that Bellamy had shown Clarke in one of his ancient history books.

"Hey…Brad…" Clarke began, taking a step forward, but he didn't acknowledge her. Instead, he was still swinging his head around, eyes becoming more and more agitated.

"Brad?" Keshawn asked hesitantly. Brad snapped toward him, his eyes focusing hard on Keshawn's mouth, "Buddy, are you okay?"

That's when Brad lost it.

"I can't hear! I can't hear anything. Why can't I hear anything?" He demanded, struggling against his IV. As a Doctor, he should know better, but then again, Clarke couldn't even imagine being in his position.

Keshawn and Tom surged forward, holding him onto the bed while he continued to freak out a little while longer. Clarke watched him, mouth hanging open slightly. From the way he was crying and how scared he looked, Clarke realized he'd never seemed more human, more like the rest of them. In that moment he wasn't his usual haughty, inconsiderate self but a scared boy who had just been through an intense trauma.

Finally, he seemed cooled down enough and shrugged his friends off.

"What happened to me?" He asked, starting to look over his bandages. Clarke opened his mouth to answer, but then realized he wouldn't hear. He probably wasn't going to be the greatest at reading lips yet, but she tried to make one word as clear as possible…bomb.

There was a second where he just stared at her lips, and then like a light bulb, it all hit him. He looked horrified for a second, and his fingers touched his ears. They were doctors, they knew the basics behind ear damage and bombs and other explosions, and while they didn't expect to have to know that specifically, there were plenty of other loud noises out here that could severely damage an eardrum.

"Do you think it's my ears, not damage to my brain?" He asked. Keshawn started to answer and then winced, looking a little embarrassed. He picked up his pad and clicked out a note on it.

_We think so. You were found closest to the blast. It literally went off right behind you, in the room. Chances are your eardrums are popped._

Brad read it and his face fell a little.

"Do you think it will ever come back?" He asked. Clarke and Keshawn shared unsure looks, both giving nearly imperceptible winces.

Clarke turned back, giving an apologetic shrug and Keshawn's mouth just turned into a thin frown. Brad deflated a bit, falling back against the bed. Clarke could see him trying to come to terms with his possible permanent disability.

"Excuse me, coming through." Clarke turned to see Jez shouldering her way through the crowd.

"I didn't think you and Brad knew each other all too well," Keshawn said, eyebrows turning up in surprise. Clarke sent him a glare but not before noticing the way Brad's eyes frantically followed the lips of people. It must be infuriating to have people talk, likely about you, with no way to know what they were saying.

"I know sign language. My grandfather went deaf in his old age." Jez said, "He can't have a pad at him at all times." She said, looking at the pad he had on his bed. Clarke gave a nod to that; she was right.

"And maybe you can teach us too," Zahira said, coming in. Everyone let her pass, "We should all know."

The people waiting nodded in acknowledgement. Brad was a jerk at the worst of times but he deserved this from them all. Plus, how cool to know sign language, Clarke thought.

Brad's worry softened a bit when he saw Zahira, who gave him a tight smile. His face fell, and Zahira rubbed his shoulders.

Jez came up, touching his arm to get his attention. He looked at her curiously; since they didn't interact much- Keshawn was correct about that. She took the pad and typed out her message.

_I'm going to teach you sign language._

She handed it back to him and when he looked up, processing it, she sighed something that Clarke could only assume was that message, signed out. At first, Clarke wondered how brash Brad would take a statement, not a question if he wanted to. But he ducked his head a bit, almost seeming a bit shy at it, and gave a slow nod of agreement. Maybe he was surprised to see people care enough to do such things. He was good at alienating people, like here at work. But as Jez began to do some simple movements with him, like the alphabet, Clarke could see the flash of her group tattoo under her sleeve and she could see Brad's on his neck, one of the few places he wasn't burned. They were a family, and everyone had those annoying uncles, but you would always be there for them.

"Clarke?"

Clarke turned to see Al, and he coughed, his voice rough. People looked at him with sympathy…even though most knew he'd had a part in it, once Clarke had explained to them that it seemed Diana was cultivating him from a young age they'd just seemed sad for him. He hardly noticed their looks of pity.

"Yeah?"

"Can you get your mom or Bellamy or someone? I think I remember it all now, enough to make a statement." He said, referring to his role in the bomb and leading up to getting knocked out. A lot of the finer details had been previously missing, since he'd taken a nasty blow to the head.

"Of course. I'll get someone right away."

_BEFORE_

"God, I thought you were never going to show up!" Ana hissed, seeing Al come around the corner. In all honesty, he wasn't sure if he was going to either. It had hit him, halfway here, that he wondered why he was doing this? But, he remembered how nice Diana had been to him and how logical her point had been and he shook his head, continuing on.

"Well, I'm here now." Al said, hoping he didn't sound too nervous, "Are you okay, Ana?" He said, examining her through narrowed eyes, "You don't look so hot…"

"Fine," Ana said, although he didn't think that was true. She had a sickly sheen over her body and she looked like she'd just run a marathon, the way she was sweating. Plus, she winced with every step and there was blood on her clothing. She also seemed twitchy. Maybe she was re-thinking this too? Maybe they wouldn't have to go through with this, maybe-,

"Gimme that." Ana said, grabbing his bag, "You got the stuff, right?" She said, eyeing him.

"Yeah." Al frowned, "Shumway had it all left out. But why did I have to be the one to get it again?" He asked, scowling.

"Because you're two whole stations above me. Threes and above don't get questioned when they're in places they're not supposed to be." Ana said bitterly, "Haven't you listened to anything?" She said, patting the bag meaningfully. Ah, yes, her stance on why she was doing this was clear enough to him.

Al just grunted, still nervous. He saw something flash in the waistband of her pants.

"What's that?" He asked, eyeing it nervously.

Ana flashed him a wicked grin, "A little gift for good luck, you know." She said, taking a gun from its previously half-hidden place and twirling it on her finger.

"Does it work?" Al asked, eyes widening.

"Do you think they'd give us a toy to execute this?" She scoffed, opening the barrel to show him eight bullets. He gave a gulp.

They made their way to the area where they'd be planting the bomb; their meeting room. Al felt bad about blowing it up; he'd had a lot of good memories here. Plus, it was…special in a way. He hated to see it go and had tried to get them to consider other areas. But they'd told him they were choosing this area because it was making a statement about their unrest about this Project and it's rules. It made sense, but Al was still uneasy about it.

"Take guard," Ana said sternly, putting the gun in his hands.

"What? I don't know how to use this!" Al hissed.

"You aim and shoot…not that hard." Ana said in a deadpanned tone, turning back and starting to assemble the bomb.

While watching, he began to hear voices. Worry gripped him. He set the gun down on the floor, seeing Ana was deep into her work and wouldn't notice him. He didn't want to risk putting it in his sweatshirt pocket for it to go off on him…frankly, Al didn't want to be touching this gun at all.

He crept around the side to see…people in the meeting room. Worry clutching him like a vise and a nasty rock fell to the bottom of his stomach.

"Ana!" He ran back to her, "Ana, we got to abort this mission." He said.

"Why?" Ana said, hardly taking the time to turn back to him.

"There's people in there!" He hissed angrily, "We can't…we can do it another time." He had been promised, double-pinky-swore (or, a more adult equivalent of that) by Diana that no one would be hurt by this, that they'd shut down this hallway online under the guise of a faulty vent. Maybe the signal hadn't gone through? Either way, they couldn't do it now. He was a little pleased.

He expected Ana to be equally horrified at this realization, but she just turned, pinching her nose.

"Yes, and?"

Her response disgusted him.

"We can't do that! We might hurt them, or even worse…kill them!" When Ana still looked wholly unconvinced, Al shook his head frantically, "They're our friends in there! Sterling! Matt! Fox!" He shouted, getting more frenzied by the second, yelling out their names to make Ana understand.

Ana looked upset for a second, and he gave a sigh of relief. He thought it finally came through to her, that what they were going to do today would have to wait.

"Oh, Al…stars, you're so naive. It's almost cute."

"But…I only agreed to do this because no one would get hurt…" Al said, frowning, repeating his words as though this time they would make a difference, "I didn't-,"

"Luckily, you're not needed anymore." Ana said, looking back at the bomb, almost completely finished.

Al stared at her in shock before it registered. He took off like a dart down the hallway, opening his mouth to warn everyone. Ana collided into his back, knocking him down. His chin smacked the ground hard and his teeth smashed together. He felt blood trickle down his neck and he was hauled around, Ana straddling him.

"Al, poor Al. We're meat to be martyrs, we aren't meant to come out of this alive. You'd be crucified either way, no one will believe you when you say you 'didn't know people would be hurt'," She mocked in a high-pitched voice, "You see…we're supposed to be something more because of this. We are as much of the symbol as this room. People will look back on this event one day and say this is what changed everything and those are the people that made that happen."

She looked at the gun, and Al screwed his eyes shut, thinking that she was going to shoot him and get it done with. Instead, the next thing he registered- just for a brief second- was Ana knocking him out with the butt of the gun instead.

_FORWARD; 1 DAY LATER_

Diana Sydney was found unanimously guilty, thanks to Al's accounts, and she was sentenced to be floated in the next twenty-four hours. Ana and Shumway were also found guilty of treason and attempts of harm, despite being dead. Their declarations were more for paperwork anyway, and to say it out loud was to seal it.

There were others too, who were weeded out. Al had been kept in the dark of most of Sydney's exchanges, possibly that she saw he was never 'into' the cause as much as others, but his information was still extremely valuable…and he gave them everything. There was a reason that he wasn't supposed to survive this, because he knew things that would have kept an undercurrent movement alive, even if Diana had the idea that she wouldn't walk away from this.

Al gave the names of guards he'd seen with Diana or Shumway a lot, something that other guards that were untouched agreed with in the case of Shumway. When it was looked into, Jaha realized a lot of these names suspiciously rose in rank soon after Shumway became Commander with not much reason. A whole slew of higher guards were arrested and most guilty with treason too. Then, there was the investigation into anyone that these guards were close to, their protégées, because if Diana showed them anything, it would be how to procure more soldiers.

But then came a difficult choice, much the choice that they were meeting to discuss now. What to do about those cultivated, those like Al?

The trial room was rather a mess. Pretty much all the top-tier guards were found to be in on the scheme, at least in some way if not all the way, so there was a scary amount of decent people left. It was how Bellamy found his way into such a top-secret trial, since he was now one of the most senior members left. That terrified him to no end. They even went as far as inviting back a handful of retired guards members that had been in high ranks, just to make the best choice possible.

Bellamy was glad he got the chance to attend; he had a lot to say.

He half expected to hear Shumway's snide voice when he walked into the room, something along the lines of, 'Oh, look at you, Blake. Here to protect all people, a man of the downtrodden'. So what if Bellamy had a heart and thought everyone deserved a decent trial? So shoot me, he thought.

Sergeant Miller must have seen him tense and known his thoughts because he squeezed his shoulders comfortingly.

Bellamy looked around the room. The people he'd learned from, most of them, all gone. Were they planning to undermine everything all the time? Bellamy wondered back to every interaction with him, wondering if they'd been thinking if it was worth it to try to sway him too?

Al came out, handcuffed. He didn't seem upset by it, but accepted it. Well, when you figured you were supposed to have died…nothing else really could bother you.

Bellamy believed Al. The cameras in the hallway had been damaged pretty badly, but what they'd recovered had indeed been the same story Al had told.

Clarke was shocked when she found out, "Why wouldn't they erase the tapes? Take out the cameras?" She asked.

"They probably figured everyone would be dead, it wouldn't matter." Bellamy shrugged.

"Why wasn't someone watching it? We could have seen it…" Clarke said, shaking her head angrily.

"We can't be watching every camera at every minute of the day. There's just too many, realistically speaking. They're more for the after-crimes." Bellamy said. Clarke knew that this was logical, but she still scrunched up her nose in displeasure.

Jaha grunted quietly, calling the gently murmuring people to his attention. Al sat beside him in the 'guilty chair' head hanging with shame.

"We are here to discuss what should become of Mr. Aloysius Cozens. I'm tiring of professional trials and I feel that this doesn't require such harsh measures. This is more a discussion about his proper course of action. I should make it known, and reminded, that he is more than helpful with this incident of late."

"Yes, so it may be," A guards member a year or two younger than Bellamy, "But there has to be punishment for crimes, doesn't it? He did help to commit one of the worst attacks on the Ark."

"Well, not entirely. He didn't want to hurt people."

"Oh, so he gets an award for not being quite as much of an asshole as he could have been?" The same guard fired back.

"Well, I think we should take into account he is guilty of his actions." Sergeant Miller rubbed his chin, "He has given us the names of everyone who was part of Sydney's cult. He didn't have to do that; he just as easily could have feigned ignorance, pretended he was just caught in the blast. There was nothing to indicate he was a part of it. He gave us the information willingly, not to add that outing others like Diana is dangerous. If he misses even one…" Miller trailed off. There were murmurs of agreement to his point.

"Diana doesn't like to leave loose ends." Nate Miller agreed, "No doubt she's taught her followers similar sentiments."

"But that's not enough." An older guardsmen called back said, "I knew the little girl that was killed in that attack. Had he never helped at all, this wouldn't have happened!" He pointed a finger at Al accusingly, "He still chose to do a great many things."

"If I may…" Bellamy raised his hand slightly, "I'd like to argue he was brainwashed." He paused, letting it sink into the minds of the other guards, "He was procured from a young age, whispered thoughts and manipulated his entire life. I remember once, actually, back when we were picking our jobs and such I heard Al say to someone that he was being pressured to go into politics, even if he didn't like it. I think it was Sydney, the whole time."

"But where does her actions end and his begin?"

"That's the point," Bellamy breathed out, "None of his actions were ever his own. He didn't ever have a choice to think this wasn't right. He was told from the start what to do."

"So what?" the first slightly-younger guard said, "We lock him up in the Skybox like he's still sixteen and stole a bag of chips?"

"I don't think so," Bellamy shook his head, "I think floating him is excessive. But perhaps…something still like an imprisonment?" He looked up, catching Jaha's eye.

Jaha was nodding. Al seemed numb to the whole conversation. Bellamy was sure he thought he was going to die. This was probably almost too much to hear for him.

"Perhaps he shall still regain all aspects of a citizen, but we put certain restrictions on him for varying amounts of time. Six months kept within the walls of his house, another six months where he cannot leave his station, and continue from there. If there's any indication of further criminal activity and his regrets are not as pure as we thought, we will not be as lenient. How many are in favor of this?" Jaha asked. Slowly, people around the room raised their hands. Bellamy was one of the first, along with Murphy. He knew how big Murphy was about second chances.

So, it was decided. Monty or Raven would whip up some sort of monitor for him, but as of now, Al was freed.

As people started to file out of the room, Jaha stopped them.

"I feel as though we have some more business to attend to," Jaha said, looking around the small group, "We are so small. And, there are some places needed filling."

Commander's spot, obviously, Bellamy gathered. But who? Nearly all of the Majors had been revealed to be dirty and Major Bryne wasn't a nice or good person in his opinion, but she got the job done. But still, Bellamy didn't feel good at all looking at Jaha's options.

"I put into motion that Sergeants Miller be promoted to Commander." Jaha said. Shocked whispers broke out.

"But, sir! I'm not a Major!" David began to sputter.

"Shush, dad. You deserve this," Nate said, slapping his dad's shoulder.

"Well, we all know you deserved to be promoted to Lieutenant right away and Major years ago," Jaha said with slight mirth, "And it was likely Shumway's influence that kept you from becoming so, because I think he knew that if he did, it wouldn't be long before you were replacing him. This is, obviously, not the way things are usually done…but I think we can all agree that we need a truly good person to take Shumway's place." Jaha said, "Commander Miller." He said nodding. There was a stunned silence before members of the guard began coming up, patting his back and congratulating him. He blushed with embarrassment and pride, but accepted it.

Jaha also promoted others, to try to show that the force of the guard was still very much a strong entity. That's how, despite some young ages, people found themselves being bumped up. Apparently, not falling for a crazy person's cult made you a good candidate to be in higher positions. Bellamy wasn't sure he all the way agreed, but they needed people with responsibilities more than they needed mere foot soldiers. They still had plenty of those with incoming classes and all. There would always be more children wanting to be in the guard, but you couldn't magically make guardsmen with experience appear.

Bellamy found himself as a Lieutenant, a title he hadn't thought he'd achieve until he was at least seven or so years older, maybe four or five if he showed real initiative.

Miller was promoted to a Sergeant, and merely unclipped his father's tag and put it on his own vest, since it only had title and last names. Murphy became a sergeant as well. Harper and Dax became Inspectors. Bellamy felt a sharp pang in his chest because is Ana and Monroe were still here, no doubt would they have been promoted too. Even if Ana betrayed them…the thought was still there.

He had a feeling the thought would always be there.

_FORWARD_

Bellamy was there at Diana's floating. She was the last of the insurgents to be floated, and she was forced to watch every single one of them. She was under close guard because Bellamy knew there were a couple generally good guards even that would like nothing more than to make her suffer. Floating would be a mercy.

And maybe it was almost enough, and she did show remorse for what she'd lead people to. But Bellamy didn't think it would ever be enough to take away the pain she caused.

She hadn't been allowed to be present at the funerals of those killed. Bellamy had insisted being at all of them, even Shumway's and Ana's. No one had really stepped forward to honor Shumway in any way, but a good number of the group had come to Ana's, even if it wasn't with the sort of procession the others got. But, she still deserved something, Bellamy thought. All those years of being their friends couldn't have all been a lie…the only lie was started from the moment she found out about the marriage law.

And stars, never in a million years would Bellamy had thought a traitor's-no, Ana's- funeral be so hard.

But, it was nothing compared to Zoe's. The group members had crammed themselves all the way down the hallway to see her be sent off into the cold, starry expanse. She had been nice to everyone, never really said a mean thing. She was funny and could outrun any guy and in general not the sort of person who deserved to die like this. Bellamy knew she was dead but he hoped somewhere her spirit would see how much she was loved and how much she was going to be missed.

Diana would not get a funeral. Her death would not be mourned. Not even her husband, who had thought her to be a generally decent person, seemed disgusted and pleased at her impending death. Yeah, must have been tough for him to realize he married a killer, Bellamy thought.

She was brought in and she fought against the guards that roughly handled her, though not that she was resisting or thought she'd get out of it.

"Spare me my dignity," She muttered to them.

"I think that's long gone," Murphy hissed angrily. Raven had her surgery, but there were some things that would never be completely fixed. Her left leg gave her trouble walking as it was, and Abby couldn't be sure she'd get feeling back into it. Murphy, like many others, had reason to be bitter and angry and upset.

The people to witness this death were a smaller number. Mostly only guards, along with Abby. Clarke had been upset she couldn't be there.

Jaha opened the door to the chamber, motioning for her to step in with a dark expression. She grinned at him as she passed.

"Why smile, Diana?" Abby asked evenly, "You have failed. Even if you expected yourself to fall, you thought there would be others to continue, but your entire faction of rebels have been all killed." She said, "You didn't win."

Bellamy held this to his chest, these words. She didn't win, that was enough. Diana Sydney had not won.

"Oh, my dear." Diana said, pausing before she stepped into the chamber, "But haven't I? I will be infamous and an idea can never truly die, can it? There will be always people like me. It is a tide…a cycle that never ends." She said sagely and sadistically, grinning and laughing to herself like she'd said something incredibly funny.

Jaha closed the door and Bellamy hardly heard his words of the process, only heard the snap as the doors to the outside opened and just like that, Sydney was gone.

His words haunted him…people could be killed, but ideas could not. This would trouble him for a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yes. LOTS of info there. Hope it entertained you :)
> 
> I probably won't update this week, I have two midterms. Expect an update sometime within a two week frame, maybe a little earlier. But def not by this Thursday.
> 
> In other news, tHAT NEWEST EPISODE!
> 
> (Spoilers below, if you haven't seen it, tho I won't give away much)
> 
> a) Bellamy and Clarke are so going to become a couple. It's pretty obvious by now, I think, even if you don't ship them. And I love the organic way it's coming together. Slow burn done right I think
> 
> b) Murphy and Raven literally had like eight seconds of interaction and that was enough to make my little shipper heart explode and reassemble itself shipping them hardcore again. I also cannot express how much I loved Murphy in this episode, and how well it fit into the character that he's a bad person sometimes, but deep down he's actually a really decent person trying to do the right thing when it matters (at least, I think so)


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...that took awhile...for some reason, this was just like a stone in my path of writing. Idk why, honestly. BUT THIS WHOLE SEASON HOLY F. More thoughts about that at the bottom here.
> 
> But anywho, here's the new chapter. A little shorter, I really do apologize. I'm hoping to get the next one out within 2 weeks. Goal; post a chapter every week to two weeks for this until it's done. It's nearly there, you guys!

14 Years after Start of Program

Clarke woke up with a start. She blinked at the dimmed lights of her bedroom for a moment, yawning in slight confusion and turned over to stare at the light of her clock blinking back at her. As the previous day's events tumbled back to her, she sat up, pulling her fingers through her hair. Her fingers patted around the bed for something to slip over her naked body and found Bellamy's shirt. She turned over to see Bellamy already up.

"Hey, we fell asleep…it's late." She said, laughing a bit. They'd been up talking and well, doing other things. She didn't think her parents would care all too much. She was very much an adult at this stage and they weren't in the habit of lecturing her much anymore. They had their own problems to worry about. Plus, it was Bell. It wasn't like it was some deviant boy sneaking into their daughter's bedroom. Hell, he could probably sleep here and they wouldn't care.

She stretched languidly, thinking that was one of the best naps she'd had in forever, until she realized Bellamy was staring at the wall…silent, unmoving. She scooted down the bed until she sat next to him, watching his eyes. They were just so numbed, his gaze never leaving the wall straight in front of him. Clarke didn't have to ask what he was thinking about, she had a good guess. Killing anyone, even someone who deserved it, couldn't be an easy thing to reconcile with. Especially not someone who he had considered a best friend.

In the months following the attack, Bellamy had been tight lipped about it all after admitted to Clarke that Ana wasn't already dead when he arrived, that he'd killed her. When Clarke tried to ask again, Bellamy had just shut down. So Clarke hadn't asked.

In all ways, he seemed fine at work. He was flourishing with his new responsibilities and even more determined to produce a generation of new, loyal guards men. He joked and laughed and was back to the smooth Bellamy Blake she knew and loved. But there were always bags under his eyes, and until now she had only theorized why.

"Bell?" She whispered quietly, trying to revive him from his state. He hardly answered.

She went and gently slipped her hand into his, and then mindfully pressed their wrists together. It was so much more than a simple touch; where their wrists pressed together like this was where Clarke had made their tattoos so that it brushed, like this.

Bellamy seemed to acknowledge this motion, and he stared at Clarke as though he just realized that she had sat by him.

"How long was I…" he asked softly, shaking his head.

"Dunno, I woke up and found you like this." She said, "Is this what happens when you try to sleep?"

"Yeah." He finally admitted, shoulders sagging and breath defeated, "I'll never be able to put to rest if what I did was…right." His voice broke a tiny bit. Bellamy's whole life, for the most part, was strictly guided by right and wrong. To be in such a gray area was killing him.

She knew it had been a tough blow, finding Ana a betrayer. He felt it so personally, like he felt everything. Clarke had been hurt too, but it had been easy to morph her face into a monster when she thought of Monroe. Bellamy had never been good at compartmentalizing, especially not now.

"There never will be a sufficient answer," Clarke decided to answer him honestly. This seemed to surprise him a bit. She hadn't said her opinion on it, and even now she wasn't sure if it's what she would have done or what she would have agreed to. But it had happened…they had to live with it all now.

"You see, people, if they knew, they'll twist it every which way. She was a murderer, she was a human being, you're a hero, and you're a killer…" Clarke watched his mouth press into a thin line. Clearly, nothing he hadn't thought of before, "What matters is the facts. Ana was conspiring to hurt us. She intentionally put the bomb knowing it would harm, even kill, people. She tried to kill Raven and Al. She might have believed in the cause wholeheartedly, and so ergo she thought it was right. Most people will think her actions are wrong. We can't let these things define us all the time, otherwise we'd go mad." Clarke said in one big breath, "You killed Ana. She's dead, she's gone, and you can't take it back."

Bellamy seemed minorly comforted by this, but he still looked down, "I'll never stop seeing her." He said. Clarke frowned.

"I didn't think that the lack of sleep would cause hallucinations so soon," She murmured, sitting on her knees to start to examine him.

"Not like that." Bellamy swatted her hand away, "I see her when I look at my guards uniform. I see her when I watch Matt learn to walk with one leg, when I see how far Brad has come in his sign language, when I watch Fox and Sterling refuse to leave each other's side. I see it when I walk through the old Project area, see them rebuilding it but know that it will always hold blood within the walls." He said, "She will haunt me."

"Diana Sydney did most of it, though." Clarke pointed out, "Ana was a pawn, sent to her slaughter."

"I didn't know Sydney like I knew Ana." Bellamy answered though, eyes wide and shaking his head.

"We should go back to sleep," Clarke whispered gently, rubbing her palm down his cheek.

"I can't." He said in a sharp tone, "Whenever I do I see-," he broke off, locking his jaw. Clarke's frown deepend slightly.

"Okay, no sleep. We'll just…rest. We have a big day a head of us tomorrow anyway, you know." She pointed out. Bellamy's eyes seemed to clear and he gave a small, kind smile.

"Yeah, Simon and Uma." He agreed. He let Clarke pull him back to the middle of the big bed.

"We don't have to sleep," Clarke repeated, "Just focus on me, okay?" She said, twining her fingers with his.

"Okay, Clarke." He agreed.

The morning came much quicker than Clarke expected. She, true to her promise, hadn't fallen asleep. Bellamy, however, had…much to her relief. But even when his breathing evened and she realized that he was slipping into sleep, she couldn't let herself. What if he woke up, freaking out? For now, her tiredness was worth his sanity.

He didn't say anything about it, and when he came outside, rubbing his bed head, Jake didn't even raise an eyebrow.

"Muffins, Bellamy?" He asked, using a spatula to scoop underneath the pan, "They're blueberry. We had a good blueberry harvest, as I'm sure Monty's told you all." He said.

"Sure." Bellamy said, "Can I take two?" He said, then caught himself, and frowned. Years after, and he was still in the habit of sneaking a second one for Octavia. But she didn't need him to do that anymore…she had the ability to make blueberry muffins if she wanted on her own.

Jake didn't even notice though, "Of course. I might have been a little overzealous…I mean, I just didn't want the batter to go to waste." He said, side stepping to reveal a small mountain of muffins.

"If we keep these here, you'll eat all of them." Clarke said, standing on her tiptoes and grabbing a bag from the cabinets, "We might as well bring them around to people." She said.

"Isn't it someone's wedding today? I'm sure they'd be great at the reception." Jake said.

"Yeah, Simon and Uma's." Bellamy said, nodding with a widening grin.

"You're close to the boy, aren't you?" Jake asked, scratching his head, "He's the one with the-,"

"Yep." Clarke cut her father off before he could say 'illegal sister'. She checked her refection in the gritty mirror next to the sink.

"You look fine, Clarke." Bellamy said, and she turned, sticking her tongue out.

"We're going to be late if we don't go." Clarke said, satisfied, and turning to her dad, "You'll be okay?" She asked, looking meaningfully at the bowls of empty batter.

"Yeah, yeah. I have an important meeting today anyway. Can't think of much else besides that." He said absently. Clarke looked unsure about leaving her dad, but Bellamy tugged her along.

They reached the civil marriage room right in time for the ceremony to start. There wasn't a big crowd. This was the first marriage since the bombing, and feelings were defiantly on edge. On one hand, everyone in their group had come out stronger from the tragedy, but on the other…

Sometimes it was easier to not look pain in the eye. Even so, Simon and Uma weren't the most popular people in the group (nor the least popular, Bellamy thought to add in his mind). Bellamy and Clarke were there, along with Benny and Teal. Bellamy's expression fell when he realized that's all that were there. Raven had been originally invited, but she'd been having problems with her leg and was even more invested in her 'secret project'. Monroe also likely would have been here, since her and Uma had been closer, but obviously she couldn't. But that wasn't why his frown had appeared.

Clarke noticed, and nudged him.

"We petitioned to let Charlotte out for it." He said, sighing, "I had really thought the petition would go through." He said. Clarke nodded in quiet understanding, going over to arrange the muffins artfully on the plate.

Their ceremony was short, although not lacking love. Simon was wearing his best with a tie and Uma was wearing a lacy dress that might have been white once, but time had colored it slightly tea-tinted, but the intent was still there. Their vows to each other were enough to make the least romantic person in the room tear up and Clarke was glad she was here to see this.

Afterward, Simon and Uma didn't leave each other's sides.

"I'm sorry about Char," Bellamy said, putting his hands in his pocket.

Simon's face fell a bit, "Yeah, it sucks." He agreed, "But I didn't get my hopes up too much. I couldn't." He said. He looked around, "I'm more surprised Monty didn't show up." He said.

"Monty?" Clarke asked, tilting her head.

"Uma invited him on behalf of Zoe. He said he'd be here." Simon said, looking concerned.

"He's been having a rough time, you know." Uma said, blinking with her big eyes at Clarke. She knew that he was, but she hadn't known it was so…bad.

"I should probably go check on him." Clarke murmured to Bellamy, "Later." She'd done her best to stay away, not wanting to bother him, since all her offers had come with his firm insistence he was fine and didn't want to be pitied. Clarke had believed him on the first level, but not deep down.

"Yeah. I agree. Maybe I should go with you." Bellamy said, frowning. He still felt responsible for Zoe, on some level, just as he felt responsible for Ana's death. He felt responsible for the whole thing, if Clarke was reading him right, which was stupid. Yet he was still under the impression that he should have seen the threat of her anti-government rambling sooner, taken them more seriously. If that was the case, Clarke told him, then everyone should feel responsible because no one took her monologues to heart. It was just something that was Ana and Clarke had thought by the time she was old enough to think differently it was a defining factor and she didn't want to let that slip away.

"Actually, I was wondering if you could take us to the SkyBox?" Simon said, "Unless you feel-,"

"I can handle it." Clarke said, putting a hand on Bellamy's shoulder, "He might feel more up to talk if I go alone or bring Jasper."

Bellamy gave a long exhale but agreed.

Clarke left the party a little earlier, but since she was more tied to Bellamy than to Simon or Uma didn't feel too bad. Besides, if she were getting married, she couldn't imagine she'd be able to handle a long reception when there were so many better things to be doing- in Simon's case, seeing his sister.

She tried his house first, to no avail.

"I hope you can get through to him. We've been trying, but he just shuts down." Mrs. Green said, sighing and shaking her head.

"He feels like he's lost it all, you know that." Mr. Green said. Clarke had always found Mr. Green to be more in line with his son's thoughts.

Clarke felt this. The two people he'd been in love with had been matched with each other and then the girl he had been matched with, and they'd started to love each other in a sense, had died. No wonder he was losing it, he felt like everything was slipping through his fingers. If anyone had something to be upset about concerning this project, it was Monty.

He wasn't at Jasper's and Octavia's either.

"He's not fine," Jasper said in exasperation, "Would you be fine?" He questioned Clarke.

"Well, I'm trying to help him." Clarke said, "I just want to find him."

"I've tried to help." Jasper said, "It's not something I can do more of right now. He has to want to be helped." He said, "Octavia thought of that one." He added.

"Well, has he been coming to work?" Clarke questioned worriedly.

"He's been let off for as long as he needs." Jasper waved a hand, "Besides, Raven's thrown herself into the project enough to make up for five of us." He said, but seeing Clarke's deep scowl dropped his grin.

"Do you know where he might be?" She asked.

Jasper gave a half-hearted shrug, "Someone like Monty that doesn't want to be found won't." He said unhelpfully.

"You seem awfully blasé about your best friend." Clarke bit out.

"I would do anything he asked of me," Jasper's tone grew hard, "But I can't make miracles. I can't make someone want to live who doesn't want to."

Clarke nearly choked on her own breath, "He doesn't want to live anymore?" She hissed.

"No! That came out wrong, he's not-," Jasper pinched the bridge of his nose, "Just, look, I'm not good at talking. But I don't see how you're going to do anything I couldn't." Jasper said.

"We'll just see about that!" Clarke said angrily, stalking away. She refused to believe that she was helpless in this situation.

Next, she went to Miller's place, hoping he would have more information about him. She was surprised to find Harper and Bryan with Miller, the three of them together and looking comfortable, but no Monty.

"I admit I wasn't going to go to you all at first, well…" Clarke said once she was sitting, albeit uncomfortably, between them all.

"Because of how he felt about us?" Harper raised an eyebrow, motioning between herself and Miller.

"Erm-,"

"We all knew about it. It wasn't a secret." Bryan said, and then chuckled, "I'm serious, it wasn't."

"It…wasn't?" Clarke said. She'd been under the impression that his crush on Miller was at least under the surface.

"Not since we got the names of our betrothed and all got together and had a good venting session." Harper said dryly, "We figured we would all implode if we let our feelings continue on without ever saying anything, even if it wasn't reciprocated."

"Feelings? As in…more than one of you?" She said, scrutinizing them.

"Girl, we might as well draw you a chart." Harper said, giggling.

Clarke sat up straight, "I'm a smart girl, I can follow." She insisted.

"Well, Monty loves Harper and Miller. Miller loves Bryan and Monty. Zoe loved me, but I'm completely straight. I love Monty. Bryan loves Miller and is close friends with all of us. Monty probably would have fallen in love with Zoe if they had stayed together, and vice versa. I love Miller like a best friend, because we are betrothed and we're quite compatible, except for me not being a guy." Harper said, using her hands to gesticulate between people.

"So what?" Clarke said, frowning, "You were all going to just be one big…"

"Family." Bryan interrupted, "Why make it sounder more crass than it is? I love Miller, and I'm not going to leave him because of this. We always wanted a kid, well we'd talked about it, and this fixes things."

"I was going to step down so that we could get three house units together, instead of living in Alpha. A single one for Bryan. Doubles for the four of us that are coupled. We would have lived just as one, I dunno," Miller ran his hands over his shaved head, "It's really had to explain it to someone who doesn't have a connection like this."

"Uh-huh…" Clarke said, squinting slightly.

"Zoe and Monty would have had their kid, me and Miller would have had ours. Or we talked about maybe finding a way for it to be Monty's, you know. Would they really be checking? And then Bryan was going to adopt an orphan anyway one day, because of Octavia-,"

"I won't tell anyone, I promise. She told me herself." Bryan broke in when Clarke swung her head around in horror, "And I think that even if this story of her being an orphan is bogus there are a lot of orphans on the ship and I would have the means." He said.

"And there wouldn't be any 'mother and father' in the traditional sense, but we'd all raise them." Miller finished.

Clarke frowned, looking at them. This wasn't exactly the reason she'd come, but it was interesting nonetheless.

"And now?" She asked, looking around.

"Same plan, just…" Harper swallowed thickly, "Minus Zoe I guess." She whispered.

"Yeah, it's been hard though. Even if each member didn't love each other romantically, we all did love each other." Bryan said.

"Hardest for Monty."

"He can't let it go?" Clarke whispered quietly in question.

"The opposite, he let it go too easily, I think." Harper said, "I don't think it's really hit him, not yet." She said, "He hasn't grieved yet." Her fingers dug at the cushion under her, "You know what I mean?"

Clarke thought of Bellamy. He was grieving all the time but everyday he was improving. As hard as this would be to get through, he would get through it. But you had to start somewhere.

"Yeah, I understand." She agreed.

"If you find him…just tell him to come home sometime. It's easier to get through things together," Harper said as Clarke began to stand. She gave a jerky nod and then found herself back out in the cool exterior of the Ark's hallways.

"Where are you, Monty?" She asked out loud. A memory floated through her mind, one years ago when Jasper had said that Monty's favorite place was the Sky window and Clarke had felt a bit annoyed because she felt like that was 'her' place. If she were upset, that's where she'd go.

And, low and behold, there he was…staring longingly out the great pane glass. He looked up as she approached, scowling.

"Who sent you? My mom, I bet. No-Harper," He said, guessing before she had a chance to say anything, "Probably Jasper, right? He's been insufferable…" He muttered, rolling what looked like some wires in his fingers.

"None," Clarke said, sitting on the bench, resting her elbows on her knees, "But you should be happy there's so many annoying people that love you." She pointed out.

Monty frowned, "None?"

"Can't I be nosy enough to send myself?" Clarke asked, giving a small smile. Monty opened his mouth to answer, but then let out a small chuckle.  
"Yeah, I guess I should have seen that coming." He agreed, "You are nosy, but it's the mom of the group's job, I guess."

"In reality…what really led me here, uh, Uma and Simon."

The fog in his eyes cleared for a second and his mouth hung open with shock and he shook his head, "It wasn't- I missed it?" He asked. Clarke nodded.

Monty curled into a ball, shaking his head, "Zoe would have loved to be there." He said, "Disappointed her, once again…" He gave a long sigh.

"No," Clarke cooed softly, "It's not like that at all. They weren't mad, Monty, they understood." She said. Her words hardly seemed to reach him. He pressed a palm to the window.

"I think about earth a lot…and Zoe. The connection."

"What exactly? The fact that she's down there, now?" She asked.

"I can't tell you. It's not that I can't find words, it's that I can't tell you. One day I will and you'll get it. Why this whole thing was just a shitty joke about it. She always wanted to go to earth, like most of us. It's just cruel."

His words didn't make a lot of sense to Clarke, but she'd been trained in grief tactics when becoming a doctor. She knew sometimes the best thing was to just let people talk, even if it sounded like they were crazy.

"She was so small, wouldn't have hurt anyone. She was only in the guard to protect people, but god forbid she would have ever had to hurt someone, even someone who might have deserved it…" Monty shook his head, "Out of everyone, she didn't deserve this."

"I know." Clarke said and Monty turned on her, livid.

"You don't," He said sharply, "With all respect."

Clarke paused for a second, trying to find something to say to cool him down but he continued, "That's what pisses me off about it the most. Stupid people coming up and acting like they knew her so well. Telling me these hilarious stories about a time she was helping them make cookies and they spilt the flour all over themselves or how she drew a turtle for someone on a napkin and they still have it. But no one knew her like me- not even Harper or Miller or Bryan. No one could have, you understand? I was…we were…I loved her." His voice broke, "I loved her in the purest way, not even romantically but just loved her. Everyone acts like they did too."

"They are allowed their mourning," Clarke said gently.

"But not like me. People are mad because I'm not just bouncing back…they're mostly over it, why aren't I?" He said in a deeply mocking tone. Clarke frowned…Harper and the group were off. It wasn't that Monty hadn't mourned, it was that he was in too deep mourning. He couldn't see anything past his sorrow.

"You still have Harper," Clarke pointed out weakly, "Remember the good-,"

"Harper, marrying Miller." Monty said, "I always had Jasper too, but he's married with a kid now. I feel behind everyone. I feel left out. I don't have a future wife anymore."

His words were haunting to Clarke. She finally could see a glimmer of Monty's anguish. He had a life planned out; even if it wasn't what he thought it was going to be, it was clear. He was going to marry Zoe. They were going to have a kid together. They'd figure it out. And now that was yanked away. It left him open to maybe find love again but that seemed like such an arduous task in comparison to it all, and even so, it seemed impossible to continue on, being so derailed.

"You still have that secret project, don't you?" Clarke asked suddenly. Monty gave her a confused nod, "Well, that's important, right?"

"Very," Monty agreed solemnly, "Although, I haven't…your dad has been far too kind to me." He said. Clarke knew that her father had let him have as much time as he needed before he continued back to work.

"Maybe it's time to stop neglecting that, then?" Clarke offered quietly, "It's a distraction, if nothing else."

Monty's gaze gravitated back toward the earth. He got a thoughtful look on his face.

"I hadn't…you're right." He agreed, shock and surprise breaking over his face, "Zoe would want me to continue it."

There was a pause, "I'm okay now, Clarke. If you wouldn't mind, can you give me the room? I think I'd like to tell Zoe about the project, and you can't hear it." He said. Clarke felt a grin nudging at the edges of her lips.

"Absolutely. Promise me you'll go pay your respects to Simon and Uma after?" She asked, putting her hands on her hips. Monty gave a laugh, the first that he might have done in weeks and nodded.

"Yeah, yeah I think I will."

Satisfied, Clarke decided to go home. She'd have a talk with her dad about getting Monty back into work. She had a feeling Bellamy was still going to be at the prison with Charlotte anyway. She knew his affections for the young girl.

Meanwhile, at Uma and Simon's wedding reception, he had a fine time talking to the various guests and acting as a pseudo best-man for Simon, mostly be delegating people away and making sure that the bride and groom actually got a chance to eat or made excuses when members of the Ark dropped by that very clearly bored them to death. The whole idea of a 'best man' or a 'maid of honor' was an antiquated idea, since weddings were rarely big enough to require that, but Bellamy took his self-appointed job very seriously. And, in the end when almost all the guests had wandered away to their own things and the room was nearing empty, he helped clean up.

"Bell, you don't have to…" Simon pursed his lips, "We can do that," He say, catching Bellamy with a pile of plates to wash in his hands.

"Well, I'm waiting to take you both into the prison area anyway. Might as well pass the time," Bellamy said, and then patted his friend's shoulder, "Besides…it's your wedding day. You shouldn't have to work." Simon opened his mouth to argue before he realized Bellamy had nearly cleaned up the entire space and there were just small jobs here and there to do.

"Fine, but I'm washing these," Simon said, taking them away and rolling his eyes.

"I hope I can get Simon to fight me to wash the dishes in the future," Uma giggled, putting things back into a weathered cardboard box, "But somehow, I don't think that's going to happen." Her lips curled into a demure smile, "But really, Bellamy, we couldn't ask for a better friend."

Bellamy waved her to dismiss her compliment, but internally he was very pleased to hear such praise.

After everything was set away, Bellamy took the newlyweds to the Sky Box. Simon had a mostly-smashed piece of cake smuggled into his jacket. Technically, no foreign things were allowed to be brought in without extensive approval, food being the most difficult, but who was really going to tell Simon no? The one good thing about Shumway's betrayal was it weeded out his followers with him, who happened to mostly be the assholes that followed rules only when it was convenient to them or made someone else get in trouble.

The person on duty nodded quietly to Bellamy, as they signed in, flipping through an extremely old edition of Sports Illustrated. Bellamy didn't even know what half those 'games' were, and hadn't ever really played them either, but even he once took a turn with that battered copy, smiling at the pictures of earth more than anything else.

As they passed a cell that had held a boy Bellamy remembered well, now empty and ghastly, Bellamy felt his chest constrict. He'd meant to come back, see that boy before his 18th, but he'd got caught up in his own grief after the bombing.

Mostly, he just hoped someone was there. He hoped the kid didn't have to go out alone.

Charlotte was pacing in her cell, and her whole face lit up when she saw Bellamy, Simon, and Uma turn the corner.

"Finally," She enunciated, "I've been waiting since this morning for you guys to come by!" She said excitedly. She slung her arms outside of the bars of her cage, leaning up against it. At 13, she was starting to get gangly, just like Simon was at her age. She might need a bigger cot soon, since Bellamy could imagine her legs nearly at the end of the child one she had now. He made a mental note to look into that. Also, to see what his mother could do about her clothes. Clothing the prisoners properly still wasn't a high priority, but if there was one thing Octavia always had, it was fitting clothes, and right now the ends of Charlotte's sleeves were just a little too awkwardly high.

"Can't believe you two are married now," Charlotte gave a long sigh, "Wish I coulda been there…"

"Oh, you know we tried." Uma said, reaching through the bars to press their palms together.

"I mean, the last time I attacked someone was like years ago. I think they're all terrified if I'm let out again-,"

"The bombing has gotten everyone on edge," Simon cut in bitterly, "It's not fair you're taking the blunt of it when you haven't been a problem at all."

Charlotte gave a thin smile, "I figure if I keep being good, my chances of getting out only improve." She pointed out. She twiddled her fingers, "Plus, I don't blame them. I heard about Zoe," She swiveled her eyes to Bellamy, "Harper talks about her all the time. She hasn't been around, I figure that's why."

"Harper took it pretty hard," Bellamy agreed.

"I'm apologizing to you." Charlotte corrected, "You two were friends. Ana too."

Bellamy tried to force a smile, but his fists clenched so hard that little half-moon impressions were left upon his palms from his nails, "Ana was-,"

"Hey, you don't have to talk about her," Uma said, patting Bellamy's back, "We all get it."

Bellamy looked down, swallowing hard. He was still so angry, so fucking angry about it all. Sometimes his anger towards her was overwhelming, sometimes it was his sorrow. There were many times he'd heard a really nasty and dirty joke and think 'Wonder if Ana's heard that one?' and go to tell her before realizing she's dead. And that just makes him so pissed off he can't even describe it. Because she was so stupid as to believe that Sydney could do anything for her, that she was so justified. Perhaps that was the absolute worst of it.

Ana really believed what she was doing. That she couldn't even see how many people she'd hurt.

"We brought you this," Simon trying to extract the cake from his pocket brought Bellamy back. Charlotte licked her lips.

"Oh, thank god. The food's been awful lately." She groaned, eagerly reaching her fingers out.

"What?" Bellamy asked, frowning and tilting his head.

"The food. Gone down a ton in the last couple weeks. When I asked, someone said 'insufficient qualities," She pouted, "I guess if we're going through a shit crop, yeah, we would be the first to get the axe. Sometimes it's almost molding, a lot of times it's just yuck." Charlotte made a face, "And I'm used to the food here. I mean, it was never five-star quality, but it was edible, at least and-," Charlotte continued to ramble on, but Bellamy felt something shake him to his core.

It was such an off-hand statement. Probably nothing. Charlotte seemed ready enough to just accept it and move on. But what if they were having problems with the crops? What then? And did this at all have anything to do with Jake Griffin's secret task team?

"Earth to Bell-," Simon was waving his hands in front of his face, "You okay there?"

"Huh? Oh, yes, sure." Bellamy coughed, "I'll leave you all. Now that you're in, it shouldn't be a problem being in. I have something I need to see about."

"You're so you have to leave so fast," Charlotte pouted. He realized he'd been neglecting her as much as he'd been neglecting his friends of late. While ignoring Raven or Miller because he was so caught up in things was one thing, ignoring a child that hardly had anyone ever to talk to was another.

"I promise I'll be back soon, like this week. With some better food, now that I know about this." Charlotte smiled, accepting this.

"If you could get me a mango I would seriously worship you forever!" She said, and went back to grilling Simon and Uma about their now married-life.

Bellamy felt his feet leading him to Raven's room. When he approached, he almost lost the courage to knock. Raven had been dealing with her own problems lately too, what with her surgery and leg and all. They got the bullet out, but her leg went numb from her thigh down. Bellamy didn't understand why this was so important to her, so upsetting, since she spent most of her time in zero-G anyway, but Clarke said she'd been adamant.

Anyway, her adjusting to her new life wasn't anything fun.

The door swung open.

"I thought I heard a Blake slinking about," She teased.

"How could you have possibly heard me?" He grunted, his face blushing. She motioned for him to come in and immediately the scent of a delicious dinner squeezed him. He looked up in extreme surprise to see Murphy, of all people, at her little kitchen set.

"You have a very distinct footfall and mumble when you're unsure," Murphy told him.

"You…cook?" Bellamy gawked.

"Yes," Muphy said then turned, seeing his face, "It's not like you caught me knitting!" He rolled his eyes.

"You have to try this!" Raven said, stumbling over to the kitchen area, snatching the spoon from the bowl, and gaining a swat from Murphy, "here."

Bellamy looked at it curiously, "This isn't going to kill me…?" He asked unsurely.

"You big baby," Raven said, biting off a bit, "See? I'm not dropping dead." She held it out to him. The smell of it was just too delicious to pass up. He took it, taking a bite.

"My god, Murphy- you can cook!" He manages to laugh out, "Where have you been hiding this skill?"

"Under my sarcasm, obviously." Murphy replied, "Besides…Raven burns everything she touches. If I want to actually sustain myself, one of us had to step up to the plate."

"It's true," Raven winced, "He asked me to watch over his sauce the other day while he stepped out for some rations and it…well…" She pointedly looked down and Bellamy saw a blackened smear across the ground, apparently now forever in the apartment.

And, as he was looking down, he noticed an appendage on her leg- a brace of some sort. He had been wondering how she'd been moving around, but wasn't going to just ask something like that.

"Like what you see?" Raven wiggled her leg, "It was Raven's idea."

"Oh," Bellamy crossed his arms; "So Murphy's an engineer now too?" He questioned.

"You know what Blake? You can shove it, or else you won't get a plate of this," Murphy warned, half-serious.

"No, but he did go out looking for a solution, something better than crutches. Can't do shit while on crutches. Plus, this is a long term solution."

"Took a couple tries. Enlisted the help of Wick," Murphy said. Bellamy pulled an angry face.

"Wick?" He groaned.

"Yeah, he's a grade-A asshole and sleazy dude, but he knows how to build shit like this. He only made a pass or two at Raven."

"And I shut him up very quickly," Raven said with an innocent smile, "But seriously, I mean, I owe him. This has changed my life, and I only put it on three days ago."

"She can walk now, or, hobble." He ducked as Raven went to poke him.

She turned, "So what brought you over here in the first place?" She asked as she placed a plate of whatever Murphy made in front of him, he wasn't sure what but he'd eat a whole bucket of it. His excitement for this unexpected meal left with a more somber thought.

"Well," He began, "I just came from the prison, seeing Charlotte. I have a question to ask you, and please, be honest…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this whole chapter was basically just tying up responses to the big tragedy last chapter. And, yeah, we're getting more references to the Ark dying, although only a select few know it yet. Since we have less than 10 chapters until the end and they WILL reach the ground by the end, these are going to get bigger and bigger as the time draws nearer...
> 
> I just want to let everyone here know that I now have a tumblr specifically for all my stories! Look up 'youngbloodlex22' (profile pic is a Slytherin tie). It will be a casual place where eventually I'll post all my stories, including this one, pictures and such so you guys don't have to search through links, and answer questions and stuff in a more informal way than here. I'll also post weekly updates on what I'm working on so you all know what's coming and know I'm not dead XD I also have LOTS of thoughts about the final, more than I'll post down below, so I'll probably make a post about it there! I don't have a TON there yet, I'm sorta waiting until I have like 10 people so my thoughts aren't just puffed into the oblivion XD
> 
> But, thoughts on the final and the season in general, an abridged version(spoilers below)
> 
> a) They killed of Jasper. I will forever be upset by that. He was my favorite since day 1 and I mean, I cry during TV shows when fav characters die, but I cried for days after everytime I saw a post about him. Seriously ya'll, I can't recall a time a death hit me so hard, not since Charlie on Lost.
> 
> b) MURVEN EVERYWHERE! Even if they're just friends now, I can live with that! But they're gunna be trapped together for 6 plus years! AHHH! THE POSSIBILITES!
> 
> c) My little Bellarke heart. I have LOTS of thoughts and predictions for the next season, far too many to post here...it's like a novel that I have
> 
> So, we're nearing the end of this (yes, ten chapters or so, but what's next?) Well, I'm glad you asked! I have a TON planned. I have three one-shots to post and three new multi-chaps.
> 
> 1) Seamus/Hermione (if you're a fan of Green Games, this one will make more sense) oneshot
> 
> 2) Murven one-shot set in the years on the Ark
> 
> 3) Jactavia oneshot set in a non-canon season 4
> 
> 4) Zombie!AU the 100 multichap
> 
> 5) The Selection!AU for Zutara
> 
> 6) Bughead Prince/Princess!AU (Yes, in the time between uploading this I watched Riverdale and I'm totally obsessed, mostly with Bughead). Tell me which you all are most excited to see and I'll work toward uploading that first!
> 
> Remember to review :)


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I thought for awhile I lost the notebook that had all my notes on this story, like when people get married, the names of kids, plots and all, and that left me...disheartened. You know what they say, as soon as you stop looking, you find things! Also, I really want to be writing a Jactavia story I started (more in bottom notes) but I promised myself I couldn't publish that until I finished this, so, yeah.

14 yrs After Start of Program

Clarke found she enjoyed her job. Not that she'd ever had any doubts about becoming a doctor, but there was a moment in between joining and being given intern's jobs that she did wonder if she'd ever graduate to more exciting jobs. After a couple years, yes. Other interns around her age were just learning how to put IVs in or the proper way to diagnose patients but Abbey could no longer deny that Clarke had learned it all years ago and was ready to move up in the world after the departure of some of the senior doctors in the wake of Sydney's betrayal.

"That day proved I'm too old for this," One of the doctors had told her mother with a long sigh. Even if they hadn't been part of the attempted-coup, they'd had friends that had been under her thumb and they'd never known. It seemed impossible, because the whole matter was put to rest, but months later, Sydney was still making waves in their community. Clarke hated that a dead woman had so much power of them all still, her presence lingering like a wraith in shady corners.

As sad as it was to see her predecessors and mentors go, it meant Clarke was given real responsibilities, real patients, and real opportunities to incite real change. The first thing she did, once given this responsibility, was to petition to Chancellor Jaha to help the hidden orphans on the Ark, at least medically.

Her argument, which was quite compelling if she did say so herself, was based around the fact that they wouldn't be expending any medicine more than they already would be. In fact, in general before the orphans, they were utilizing less medicine than before. Each child theoretically had a counted spot on the ARK, especially if they were born legally and it was the unfortunate product of both their parents perishing. Even if they were an illegal second child (Clarke had never heard of an illegal third) the fact they were an orphan meant that two spaces had been vacated, and so they were still within the boundaries of their estimated counts.

On another note, she was preparing to petition the way that second children were handled to begin with; the capitol punishment should still continue for the parents, but if two spaces are now open on the ARK, why should a child who never got any voice in the matter be punished, if they just overtake the space their parents filled? She hoped to have it put through before Charlotte turned 18, with the hope that she would be released.

Apparently, her argument had been compelling, because Jaha agreed to let Clarke begin to treat the orphans without having to sneak around to do it, and to try to recognize and name those that she could. There were, of course, still the problems of not enough families wanting children, but Clarke had begun a drive of food, bedding, and clothing and brought those along with her to better their lives. Part of her argument had also been that if these children had proper living conditions, they wouldn't need medical attention as frequently, so it was within their interest to give extras to them. And, children had the opportunity to go to school and get a job if they so pleased, with the hopes they could make their own money to afford food and clothing.

It wasn't perfect. There were still a lot of holes, a lot of things Clarke wished could be automatically better because they were people and they deserved basic rights, but it was a start. She would do what she could.

She worked her normal shifts, but then twice a week during the night, she'd go freely into the orphan halls and administer medicine and do check-ups. If necessary, a child could come back to the clinic, but luckily this had only occurred once in the couple months since she'd been doing this, a child that had contracted pneumonia and needed fluids and high-grade medicine.

It was nearly 5am and Clarke was just finishing up with the last kid that had come to see her tonight; an eight year old that had cut her arm open and needed a large band-aid and gauze. Since beginning, the number of people needed her had gone down significantly, and she attributed this to the fact that they were in better conditions than they'd begun. She'd been able to knock out colds, stuffy noses, and general ailments the first time, and now the population she saw was getting better, in general. She would leave the basket full right near the entrance free of things to take, and it was always empty when she returned. She hoped it was being distributed fairly, but no one seemed starving anymore, so she assumed it was. But she knew some still didn't trust her. To entice them to come forward for medicine, she gave everyone who came a cookie. Not everyone could be tempted with sugary sweets, but most could.

As she was making her way back to the doctor's area, walking through the dark halls and juggling her supplies and other items, her pad beeped. She used her knuckle to press the screen on and saw it was a reminder from Bellamy's calendar.

This made her grin; as of a week ago, they'd synced their calendars. It felt so…grown up. She was excited about it, because Bellamy was meticulous when it came to his calendars, but it also felt like a step somewhere. Not to a forced marriage but to domesticity of some sort.

Clarke was good at keeping knowledge stored; not dates, but knowledge. Ask her anything about a bone and she could rattle off at least ten facts. Bellamy, however, thought with his heart and therefore his calendar was filled with everyone's birthday, the wedding dates of everyone in the group, and the days their children were born. He was very on top of that, which Clarke was gleeful for, because she wasn't. It didn't mean that she didn't care, however, and when it came down to it Bellamy remembered the dates, Clarke found the gifts.

She saw only the main light on in the clinic, and figured it was likely a slow night. She dumped her stuff on an empty bed, stretching her arms for a moment to let them adjust to the sudden lack of weights and then clicked open the calendar app, flicking through to see what had alerted her.

"Teal and Al's wedding," She mumbled out loud, staring at the date. She felt an uncomfortable feeling rise in her chest. If not for this reminder, perhaps to everyone but themselves, their wedding would have passed by in quiet anonymity. And maybe this was for the better. The wounds of Sydney were still very fresh and very painful. Not everyone, even a few in the group, did not face Al's punishment well. They believed he deserved exactly what everyone else got; death. Clarke was…undecided. It took many great steps to commit treason, but at the same time, he was brainwashed. He was procured as a candidate as a child and molded into a soldier. She couldn't imagine what that would feel like.

Maybe she could pretend she hadn't seen it? Maybe she could distract Bellamy tomorrow and he wouldn't go? But she knew he wanted to. He was, not surprisingly, in the firm belief that Al should not be punished more than he was and that he amended for his mistakes. He'd want to go.

Al still was not allowed to leave his own room, so he'd been of course absent from the their gatherings. The room was being reconstructed, but no one felt comfortable there, as they'd once been. So many events had occurred there, perhaps it was better to leave it in the past? Teal had become a pariah, being engaged to him, and many who thought he should die also thought her engagement should be broken. Jaha did offer her this, quietly, but she refused.

"He needs someone now. It should be me. I want it to be me."

It was bold and brave words, and while Clarke was still mulling about Al she knew she liked Teal, as peculiar as she may be.

Clarke blinked, realizing she'd been standing there staring at the screen for a good couple minutes. It was then she realized that the doctor on night duty hadn't come out to say hello, or even acknowledge her presence. What if she was just a random kid, coming in here to steal pain meds to get high on? Shouldn't someone be more attentive?

She pulled up the schedule to see Keshawn on for tonight, and there was no indication he'd tried to switch with anyone or he'd had to leave early for any reason, nor were there any house calls tonight, which also could explain his absence.

Clarke tucked her screen back into her pocket and began to creep around the area, quiet and alert. She almost missed him in the back patient area, and would have if she hadn't heard the softest crying sound. She spun back around, flicking on the light to reveal Keshawn, sitting against the wall…sobbing.

"Keshawn?" The words escaped her before she could stop them. She stiffened, going hard as a board, as Keshawn snapped his eyes up. She hadn't realized Keshawn could…show emotion.

"I'll, er, leave you alone…" She mumbled awkwardly, unsure of how to handle this situation. Keshawn was older than her, and her superior, although not by much. He was a member of their group, but the hardly ever talked (Keshawn didn't talk to anyone but Brad, it seemed) and he always had an air or disinterest surrounding him. She was sure he was mortified to be caught, and would like nothing more than to vanish.

Yet, as soon as she found usage of her limbs and began to turn, she saw a flash of panic enter his eyes.

"Or…I can stay?" It came out as a question, and although he never verbally confirmed it, she saw a sense of calm trickle back into his face.

She sat next to him, although not too close, and just watched him. Was he dying? Was Brad dying? Was he going mad? Keshawn didn't show happiness so he defiantly never showed sadness.

She didn't know how to comfort him. With others, she was quite good at it. A doctor had to have a certain bedside manner, of course, but this was another doctor and someone very unusual in his social abilities. She was sure the usual things she did would only cause him to scoff at her.

He started for her, his voice quivering, and she realized that maybe he just needed someone to listen. She could do that.

"He's not mine," He whispered. Clarke blinked.

"I'm sorry?" She asked, at first wondering if Keshawn had been in the closet this entire time and they'd all failed to notice.

"Trent. He's not mine."

Oh, his son. This, of course, had a very different connotation and very different problem attached to it. Or, as he claimed, it wasn't his son?

"His red hair, it's so vibrant. And Marisha's father had red hair, so it's not unlikely. And I always just thought that maybe I had some way back too, that I just didn't know about. But he had his six month blood-test today and I shouldn't have, but I just couldn't help myself and it's not mine." He said all in one blubbering mess, throwing a sheet at Clarke, which had a set of DNA. Yes, indeed it matched Marisha's, but not Keshawn's.

"Oh stars," Clarke couldn't help but whisper, her brows knitting together "Do you know-,"

"No, not at all." Keshawn grimaced, "Harry's, maybe? Who could blame him, you know?" Keshawn said.

"I didn't think…I wasn't under the impression…" Clarke tripped through a question, one she already regretted asking the moment she started, "You are attached to him?"

"Is it so surprising I love my offspring, or one I thought was mine?" He asked tonelessly, and internally, Clarke was thinking 'yes, very', but she kept that to herself.

He was staring at something intensely on the floor, "We consummated that night, Marisha wanted to have the kid as quick as she could. And while I hadn't thought much of children before that night, I have to admit, once she came back and announced it I was…very much pleased," He said, recalling the moment and grinning like it was an inside joke. Maybe it was. Maybe the joke was that he could feel things at all.

"My mother told me I would never love anyone like I would love my own child. I thought she was overly sentimental. Yet when I held him…I was confident perhaps her comment had some merit. And it's been a joy with him, despite my internal fears. And I was weak tonight; perhaps, had I not looked it up, I could continue so blissfully ignorant." He gave a long sigh.

"So what are you going to do?" Clarke asked.

"I don't…know?" Keshawn raised his head, looking perturbed; "I had not…well, that is a question."

Clarke sighed, shaking her head, "I'm going to tell you what you're going to do, you're going to go home and forget about this."

"What?" Keshawn sounded mildly surprised, which for him was likely extremely surprised.

"Do you see another guy around rising this kid? No. It's yours, whether or not it is biologically, this is your son Keshawn. Will his smile be less bright? His first step be any less amazing? Will it be untrue when he calls you 'dada' as his first word? No, of course not. You are his father." Clarke said firmly, "Because someone who loves his kid that much deserves to have a kid back," She admitted begrudgingly.

"I hadn't thought of it that way." He admitted after a long moment, "I would hate to not be there for those moments," He agreed.

"So, yeah, there you go," Clarke said, intending to get up and leave, "You just…you know now. No need to make a deal out of anything, it's not like you two are together like that anyway, this really is just a marriage of law." She said.

"But I do love her." Keshawn said, completely serious and completely panicked. Clarke sat back down. She realized he looked…heartbroken.

"What?" She asked, squinting at him, "You're joking, right?"

"No, I would not…jokes are not within my social interactions. It would be one thing if it were just her indiscretion with that relationship, but I love her end I had to admit today she does not love me back. Brad just suggests sex, which I attempted after waiting the proper amount after the baby, but she rebuffed me and looked almost, disgusted, which is when I realized-,"

"Oh, stars," Clarke ran a hand down her face, "Have you tried to…communicate this with her? Do you talk to her? Do you two do anything together?" She asked.

"I…I found her quite attractive when she was with Harry, and I was joyed to find we were matched. I thought she may feel the same, since it is based on perfect measurements, after all. I assumed once we were married it would just be so, but it isn't…"

"Keshawn, relations don't work like that," Clarke couldn't help but chuckle, "You have to show interest. I think she'd be shocked to year you were 'joyed', since you don't really show much emotion to anyone." Clarke pointed out.

"Emotions are rather pointless, to explain at least." Keshawn argued.

"Well, but it doesn't come easy! Maybe if you asked her about her day, talked to her, you two could start something."

"I don't think she'd be interested in hearing about my day."

"You don't know until you try. And, why don't you ask her about hers first? Be interested in what she has to say?"

"I'm always interested, but Marisha does not seem to wish to share such things with me."

"It's probably because you never seemed interested, Keshawn. You have to start a relationship somewhere past assuming it's all going to fall into place! Do you see what I'm saying?"

"So…approach it like a…surgery? Take time on it?" He said, frowning and turning his head, "Take care of her?"

"Yes, you have the right ideas. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I will give you tips if you promise to actually try to do them. In addition to the things I've given you, you gotta start showing some emotion. If not to me, to your wife." She said pointedly, "I know, it's going to feel weird-,"

"Correct-,"

"But trust me, it will go a long way." She squirmed for a second, "Why don't you…go home? You're not really in any mood to be dealing with patients. Go and kiss Trent, if Marisha's up, ask her something."

"Are you sure?" Keshawn asked.

"Yeah, go, scram." Clarke blew out a long sigh, "Before I change my mind."

Keshawn got up hurriedly, and then turned at the door, "You know, despite everything bad I thought previously, I now find you to be a…good friend." He said, and then promptly left. Clarke realized she'd been complimented, insulted, and promoted to a friend all at once by Keshawn, and she wasn't really sure how to feel about it. Maybe he'd always thought of them as sorta friends, and like his supposive love, it was all becoming clear now.

Well, he had potential, Clarke thought, if he worked on it, which he did seem willing…so perhaps she could help him yet.

PROJECTIPHIGENIA

Bellamy sat pouring over documents on the Griffin's kitchen table. He bit his thumb, eyes gazing to the message Clarke had just sent via the tablet saying something came up and she'd be taking the night shift, and not to wait up, before he snapped them back to the multiple open documents on the gigantic screen he'd dragged in here. He'd do it at home, but he didn't want his mother to worry, and plus, they frankly didn't have the table space.

Here, he felt safe. Abbey was at Kane's, which meant she wouldn't be back all night and Jake was working late on a project, trying to pretend like he didn't know what was going on, or trying not to care as much. And, while he would have liked to see Clarke tonight, he was grateful because it meant he could try to figure this out longer.

Ever since his discussion with Charlotte at the SkyBox, he'd begun to look into her claims. Something about their conversation just bothered him. It was a passing comment, but it felt…significant. Luckily, as a Lieutenant now, he was granted many files he wouldn't have been able to previously, which made this a whole lot easier. He hadn't done things like this since his training module to become an Inspector. Back in the day, the first ten years of the ARK, inspectors had been those trained to seek out truth and question people, get to the bottom of mysteries. But, soon the crime and mystery faded and what was needed more were people to ransack bedrooms for contraband and so inspector became less of an honored title like his teaching job was and more of a step along the way, a step that some seemed content to stay in forever.

Slimeballs like the inspector that had been sleeping with his mother so she knew when 'random' raids were coming, for example. He had been revealed in Sydney's plot, no surprise, and was executed.

Bellamy wondered where it all went wrong? Then again, Shumway was leading things, so perhaps there was little shock in that. And he got lots of questions from people asking him how they were going to fix things now that nearly half of the guard was gone, and the majority were kids under the age of 20. Well, he always replied that they were going to do better. He was going to teach these kids right from the start that Sydney was not a hero, not a mastermind, but a traitor. She should not, under any circumstance, be revered.

They were going to be more honorable, extra honorable, following those events. They were going to actively seek out corruption, especially now that Miller was the new commander. They were going to be as truthful as they could be, as kind as they could be, and as understanding.

And stars, Bellamy wanted all that. He wanted to be all that so much it hurt him to imagine there were people that wanted to be the opposite of that. And yet, already, here he was…running into a moral conundrum.

Fact of the matter was, these files just made no sense. And by that he meant that there were…discrepancies. Holes. Flaws. Questions that someone should have been answering by no one was. And slowly, but surely, Bellamy was coming to the very real possibility everything was not alright.

There were certain documents that were censored out; even his clearance couldn't get him into those files that Jake, Raven, Jasper, and Monty were working on. But it was connected, he just knew it. And after Sydney, after all that, he wasn't going to brush it away like he was a mad conspiracy theorist, since that proved to him to let his gut guide him. It was telling him things he felt like he already knew; which was that their secret job was more important than anything else on this godforsaken floating junk of metal, and it did truly mean life or death.

He swiped his hand across the board, bringing a recent survey on the birthrates of lives animals vs stillborns and began electronically highlighting particular parts. There was a food shortage, and the SkyBox was getting the brunt of it. Soon, he knew his stations would be too. Clarke would be okay, at least for the next…two years, if he did his math right, before things started getting ugly. It was amazing what power and rations could buy someone. But this also meant that he needed to be on the lookout, since people dying meant that they'd do anything to live, including illicit deals and trades.

But it wasn't just a shortage of food, it was, a shortage of nearly everything; space, supplies, medicine…air. He couldn't pinpoint what wrong; if they had too many children and there were a whole hoard of second kids wandering around he didn't know about, if the survivors before their time had miscalculated how many diseases would wipe people out, if the since on the ark became so advanced it started saving people the grounders thought it would kill, or if they were just wrong from the start? By their predictions, they were meant to be able to survive up here for at least another couple decades. But something happened and now they were screwed.

And he didn't want to believe this. He wanted to think that he was wrong and he'd wipe his eyes and laugh because the numbers would change. So he was combing through every document, every word to make absolutely certain that he was sure this was happening before he said anything. And even when he was sure…he didn't know what he was going to do.

The door clicked open and Bellamy startled, frantically trying to close out windows. Clarke must have come home early. He didn't want to worry her, not about something they maybe couldn't even fix. Besides, maybe it was just a bummer season? Maybe this was a big over exaggeration? He only had data going back five years, so maybe this next year would be a boom of supplies and it would all be okay?

He furtively looked back to see Jake, scrutinizing him. Wordlessly, Jake came up behind him and re-opened the files Bellamy had just closed. Bellamy sat back, watching him. He could have told him to stop, but Jake was his elder in every way possible, plus his future father-in-law, and well…he could use a wise man's advice.

"It's a shitty thing to have, knowledge." Jake said, nodding as he read the title of what Bellamy had been studying. From the sound of his voice, Bellamy got the idea that maybe he'd already read these same reports himself in the same manner.

"So, it's true, then?" Bellamy asked.

Jake paused, "This conversation deserves a scotch." He muttered, going to a hinged cabinet Bellamy had never seen him open and pull out a bottle of amber liquid. He poured two glasses, a small amount. Bellamy had never tried this, much less ever heard of it, and took a long drink. That was a mistake and he found himself very awkwardly spitting half of it back into his glass and swallowing the rest, feeling like someone had just stopped on the inside of his throat.

"Small swigs," Jake said with a hint of amusement.

"Huh, yeah," Bellamy agreed, feeling stupid.

"It's true, I know in your eyes you found it." Jake sighed, rolling the liquid around the glass, "So," He shrugged.

"How long have you known?" Bellamy asked.

"Too long. It's a burden like the world on my shoulders."

"Atlas," Bellamy supplied, and when Jake gave him a quick glance Bellamy realized he was just using an idiom, not referring to the actual myth, "He…nevermind. What…how…"

"It's what your friends are working on, but I feel like you're smart enough to have guessed that." Jake said, pointing at him.

"What is it, exactly."

Jake shook his head, "I can't tell you that, legally. Unless, you figure it out of course. Then, I cannot confirm nor deny, just," He touched a finger to nose indicating he'd let Bellamy know non-verbally. But that didn't help. Bellamy didn't think for a second he could decode those censor blocks.

"But they're doing…something?" Bellamy asked.

"Yes," Jake let on, and Bellamy let out a long sigh, "We're still four years from launching their plan, and by stars I hope it works."

"Four years?" Bellamy thundered, "Have you read these? We don't have that kind of time?" He felt himself start to sweat, shaking his head.

"It's the best we have," Jake whispered, "It's the absolute closest time, trust me, we've all checked at least twenty times." He said wistfully, "Changes will have to be made, carefully, as not to alert the public of the danger."

Belllamy was quiet for a second, "You're not going to tell them?" He whispered.

"Would you?" Jake's frown deepened, "I once thought I would, Abbey and I…we had a big fight about it. But after seeing the response to Sydney's deception I'm not so sure our people would do the right thing anymore. They've terrorized that poor kid, desecrated the name of your friend, demanded blood for people that never agreed with her." He shrugged, "Imagine what they'd do if they knew about this."

Bellamy shoulders slumped, "Yeah," He agreed slowly, "It would be a bloodbath." He hated to admit the truth, especially since there wasn't even a solution. It would be like telling a person they had cancer and there was no way to fix it, they just had to sit there, know, wait to die.

Or, there was a solution, but it was nothing the populus could help with.

"Fuck," Bellamy leaned back, covering his face with his hands, hardly caring about his language right now.

"Second that," Jake snorted, "Welcome to adulthood."

Bellamy came back to his sheets, scowling heavily, "And know I just…I wanted to help, look into the food shortages. Now I'm just left feeling useless."

"You won't be, for long. Soon, you'll have to deal with certain cutbacks; food, medical allowances, everything. You'll have to monitor it to make sure that nothing underhand is being done, and that people don't riot."

"How glamorous," He drawled, angry at the situation, not necessarily at Jake.

"Being a savior never is," Jake patted Bellamy's back, "That's what we'll be." He stood, "You cannot tell Clarke."

"W…hat?" Bellamy said slowly, "But she's…I want to."

"You know her," Jake gave a sad smile, "She's idealistic. She'd want to tell everyone and that could get her in trouble. She'd be tried for treason and she's not a kid anymore. Plus, if it all works out, she'll be fine. And if it doesn't, then what's the point?" Jake asked tiredly.

"There's no Plan B?" Bellamy asked in a soft voice. Jake looked at him pityingly, as though Bellamay was about to learn more than he had wanted to.

"Oh, my boy, what we're doing is the Plan B."

PROJECTIPHIGENIA

Clarke returned home early the next morning, after taking a quick stop in to see how Toby was doing. Being a single mother was hard, she knew, from talking to Bellamy's mom. Being a single father? That must be very hard, she figured, since a mother had a natural connection (usually) to a child, through carrying them and breastfeeding them.

Irisa, despite having done nothing personally, was a pariah, just like her father. No one wanted to have to be around the mother of the girl that killed children, helped orchestrate one of the biggest attacks they'd ever seen. Toby was pretty much confined to his room. Most of the group liked Toby, and knew that he hadn't had any idea, truly, of Ana's antics, and therefore they gave him a pass. But Irisa? Stars, she looked just like her mother, already, and that made even kind people like Uma wary to hold her.

Not Clarke. She didn't think any innocent child should be punished by the sins of their parents, since she obviously thought people like Charlotte or Octavia deserved to live full, fair lives. And she was adorable.

Bellamy found it hard coming around; precisely because it looked like Ana. Not because he thought she might be like her mother, but because Ana's ghost still haunted him. Not even the bastardized ghost of her last moments, but the ghost of the friend he once had.

"Clarke, I'm so glad you're here. I think Irisa feels a little warm." Toby said as soon as he opened the door for Clarke. She could now hear little Irisa crying from her crib. She came over, putting her hand on Irisa's forehead. Toby hovered behind with a worried look on his face.

"She's not too bad yet. Just a little cold. If it gets worse, call me right away." Clarke instructed. She went into her bag and fished out the bags of breast milk. They'd run out of formula years ago on the Ark. Every woman breastfed their children, and if they had extra afterwards, were required to donate it by law to the medical center. Not every woman's milk came in right away, or ever, and some parents like Toby ended up without a mom.

"Thank you, she's eating a lot more now," Toby said, grinning with pride. Irisa had a rough couple first weeks, being so premature. Many doctors, including Abbey, had thought she wouldn't survive. But she was a fighter and now she looked like any other baby.

Toby leaned down, tickling her foot. Irisa grinned like he was the best person in the world.

If someone had told Clarke Toby would turn into an outstanding rather, she would have laughed. Nothing about him; his tendency to want to be alone, his aloofness, his lazy tendencies, his preference for nicer things in life, would have ever indicated to her that he might succeed as a parent, but here he was. Just a week ago, Clarke witnessed her spit up on his favorite pair of shoes and Toby just booped her nose and laughed it off. The Toby pre-Irisa might have stabbed someone that spilled water on them.

She didn't want to bring it up though. She didn't feel Toby was going to share emotions like that with her. Plus, she didn't need him to say it…she could see it.

It did make her feel a little maternal, because she knew Bellamy would be like this; patient, creative, wonderful, loving. But then she thought about actually carrying a baby right now and those romances were shot right out the window.

"What, why are you staring?" He asked with narrowed eyes and a suspicious tone, catching her half-gawking at him.

"Nothing, I just…you're really good with her." She admitted after a long moment.

"Is that why you come by? To make sure only one of her parents was mental?" He asked accusingly.

"No, I come by because I worry about her, about you. I'm not so petty." She assured, referring to those of their group and of the Ark that might think he was just as insane as Ana was near the end.

"I'm doing fine," Toby grumbled, going to fill a bottle for her.

"Yeah, I know. I think you are too."

Toby turned, mid-action, to stare at her, "Well, you know, one of us had to grow up to take care of her. Guess it's me since Ana's dead now."

Ah, yes, there was the biting anger she knew from him. She felt like he might have a lot of it built up. And when did he have a chance to let it out? He was pretty much here, twenty-four-seven, taking care of a baby. Babies were cute, but not good friends.

Al was one of his better friends, but he was locked up too, but for real reasons, not because people were protesting at his house…although people would, if he tried to leave. So, not much talking there. Plus, it wouldn't help to talk to someone else in the problem, they'd just be angry together.

And Matt was his other friend, so maybe-

"Why don't you and Matt go out, I can watch her for a night? You should get out." Clarke offered.

"Matt doesn't come here anymore," Toby ducked his head, staring at the tile, "Good reason too, my deceased wife blew off his leg. I wouldn't want to be around me either." He mumbled.

"Oh," Clarke's voice fell, "Well, have you tried talking to him? Maybe he just doesn't know what to say to you, either? You lost your wife and became a single dad all in a day too."

"I can't pretend to be a victim here," Toby gave a grim smile, "Not when Brad can't hear a damn thing and Matt's leg is made out of scraps from the Ark."

"Have you tried?" Clarke gave a long suppressed sigh. She knew that people joked about girls having communication issues, but stars, guys were so much worse! Look at Keshawn, who had no idea he even had to talk to his wife!

"I…I just know how it will end. Better to be alone in thoughts than alone in truth." He said, shrugging, trying to pretend like he didn't care, but Clarke could tell he did.

"You're self-hating humor is getting a little old, Toby." Clarke said, putting her hands on her hips, "We all have to get over this. I understand your situation, hell, but things are never going to change if you don't make them change!"

Toby's face hardened. He went to the door, "I think Irisa's feeling better now Clarke. I'll let someone know if she gets worse." He said pointedly. Clarke threw up her hands, heading for the door.

"Fine, but you know I'm right, or else you wouldn't be so mad." She pointed in his face. He responded by shutting the door on her. She let out a growl of annoyance before turning to see some Arkers, probably here to shot nasty names at Toby, staring at her carefully.

"My fiancé is Lieutenant Blake and I will report each and every one of you to him for harassment if you don't leave now and stay the hell away." She threatened, pointing murderously toward the hallway to the main Ark. Something in her voice must have been terrifying, or she pulled Bellamy's name- who was being quite renown in his job now- because everyone made themselves scarce.

She stomped into her house to find Bellamy snoring on the couch in her family's house, his big screen tilted by the door. He said he'd needed it because he was re-writing the lesson plans for all levels, not just the unusual level he taught, and that took lots of coordinating. She didn't doubt it; it was something that would have utterly bored her to do.

Seeing him made her frustration and anger abate, although she still felt the bitter taste in her mouth of the inability to fix things. She was a doctor, goddamit, that's what she was supposed to do!

She went and kissed Bellamy on the cheek. He woke immediately, taking in her dark circles under her eyes.

"Long night?" He asked.

"Stars, you have no idea." She moaned, and then looked around. "Are my parents home?"

"Your dad came in around 3 am, but then left back to do some work. Your mom is still gone and that… 'thing'."

"Ah yes," Clarke rolled her eyes, "The 'thing' she thinks no one here knows about." She clenched her fists momentarily. It upset her greatly what her mother was doing, despite her father's multiple attempts to assure Clarke that he wanted her to do what she wanted to do.

"I feel like you're a little keyed-up," Bellamy sat up, giving her space on the couch.

"I am," Clarke narrowed her eyes, "I just came from seeing Toby." She quickly relayed the end of their conversation with him, "I would send you or Leslie out to him, since both of you trained in psychology a little to be a teacher, but I feel like he just needs a friend to talk to!" She said.

"You're a good person, Clarke." Bellamy ruffled her hair, "We'll figure something out."

"Oh, and I think I became Keshawn's friend." Clarke added. Bellamy coughed on his breath.

"What? How?"

She went through finding him crying and explained it; Marisha first, because she could fix that, or help him. The kid, not so much.

"What if she just never loves him?" Bellamy asked, "He's not an easy guy to love."

"No, but he wouldn't ever hurt her. He's like me…we only fix people. I feel it. And I just want to help him. I can't make Marisha fall in love with him. He has to do that himself. I like to think that Jaha got more than just two or three of us right." Clarke admitted.

"I would argue with that, if we weren't currently betrothed." Bellamy rubbed the back of his neck, wincing.

Clarke gave him a 'see!' look but then frowned, "But then, there's the whole Trent isn't his thing."

"Stars, what are we on tonight, a soap opera?" Bellamy asked.

"Yeah, I know," Clarke chuckled, "So, Trent has red hair. We knew that. It's nowhere in Keshawn's bloodline, which maybe we all though. I mean, I want to figure it out. There isn't that many red-heads on the Ark, or even those with the gene! They're like unicorns compared to all us boring normal horses. So, I figure it won't be too hard to work backwards. I mean, what if Marisha's still seeing this guy? What if she's in love with him? There's nothing in the charter that says she can't sleep with another dude, but I want to know for Keshawn's sake. I'm not sending him down a wild goose chase."

A look like lighting crossed Bellamy's face.

"I'm going to go somewhere. Don't do anything about the kid problem until I get back."

"But now I'm thinking about it!" Clarke argued.

"Well…just don't. Think about how to get Matt to Toby. You're good at that; you'll figure it out. Just, I want to check something before you go knocking on the door of every red-head with a picture of Trent asking if that's their child."

Clarke narrowed her eyes, "Are you going to who you suspect the true father is?"

"…No."

"For a guard, you're a shit liar to me." Clarke leaned on the back of the sofa, giving Bellamy puppy dog eyes as he opened the door, "Can't you tell me who you think it is?"

"Not a chance. I'm not going to have you planning something before I know for sure." Bellamy clicked his tongue, "I promise once I know something, I'll let you know."

Clarke pouted, watching him go out the door. Who was it that he had an idea right away while she had no idea still?

PROGJECTIPHGENIA

Bellamy pounded on a door, feeling all-nervous. He didn't know why he was nervous; this was one of his best friends, and even if he confirmed it, he wasn't going to arrest him. Not like infidelity was illegal. But still, he was angry he hadn't seen it before. As soon as Clarke told him, he saw Trevor's little fat face and something just…clicked.

Benny opened the door, looking groggy, only in boxers and a dirty t-shirt. It was eight AM, admittedly, so Bellamy wasn't surprised his friend had been sleeping. Benny squinted into the harsh light of the hallway, yawning.

"Fucking shit, it's not Thursday already? How long was I asleep?" He asked, scratching his head, motioning for Bellamy to come in. He was referring to their twice a month man dates, as Clarke called them, usually where they just hung out and chatted. Sometimes, if Clarke was kind enough, she let them use her big TV and they'd re-watch old sports matches or play Mario Kart. Bellamy saw Benny turning his head at his wristwatch, looking confused.

"If that's how you're keeping track of time, you'll likely get real fucked up. We both know that thing hasn't ticked an inch since your gramps owned it," Bellamy teased. Benny slowly waking up and looking more and more aware grinned.

"Ah, ya got me." He held up his hands, "But…it's not Thursday….?" He added, a bit unsure.

"No, it's Monday."

"Thank god; I thought I was loosing my mind for a second. I mean, I've been so busy patching things around the Ark lately it could be possible I slept for three days, but…never mind." He shook his head, "That's just boring shit, you know?"

Bellamy held his tongue. He didn't think so; he was very sure it tied into the conversation he'd had with Jake last night. But this was not why he was here.

"So…I see you're in uniform," Benny said, crossing his arms, leaning against a post, "Am I a suspect in something?" Although his voice was light, there was a tinge of fear in his tone.

"No, no. It's a social call." Bellamy said, making a point to put his patch and his nightstick on the table, "I just have work in a couple hours."

"Oh, and it couldn't wait until Thursday?" Benny questioned, wary.

"Honestly…no."

"Mhh," Benny grunted, turning to his tiny kitchen, "I think I might have some biscuits from Roma left, lemme see…" He said, starting to clamor through his boxes.

Bellamy tapped his fingers on the table in the living room, sighing heavily, "You know, I'm your friend and I don't know how to begin this so I'm just going to come out and say it- and hell, maybe you don't even remember because you've slept with a lot of people and I'm sorta surprised there's no one here right now- but have you ever slept with Marisha?"

Benny, who had climbed on his countertop to reach a box on the tip top shelf, turned half reaching, frowning.

"What?"

"Marisha, you know, the Marisha in our group."

Benny came back down with a tin in hand, tilting his head.

"I assumed. Haven't met another one…" He set the tin down, scratching his chin, "You know? Yeah, I have." His lips turned down, "Only once though…I mean, we were both just using each other so, whatever, but it was totally consensual and-,"

"Benny, I wasn't accusing you of-," Bellamy hastily cut him off, "No. Look, do you remember when you did it?"

"Uhhh…" Benny sat down, taking a biscuit and pushing the tin toward Bellamy. Bellamy only took half of one, knowing that Benny was an average working class man, and didn't get the wage or the benefits that Clarke gave Bellamy. One day, he may with Stasia, but that was a while away. He nibbled; but oh, Roma's cooking was always good.

"You know what!" Benny clapped, "Yeah, it was two days before she married Keshawn. We got close after the names were announced of the couples, and I mean I didn't think that it was going to go anywhere, I wasn't expecting, but two days before she just showed up here and one thing led to another and," Benny rubbed his hands together, "You get it."

"Uh-huh," Bellamy said, nodding, his brain halfway somewhere else, thinking. He pulled out his tab and pulled up her medical file.

"Why?" Benny questioned.

"What?"

"Why ask me now? I mean, I thought it was a one-time thing. I liked it, I think she liked it but we haven't talked much since she had the kid. Is she interested in doing it again? I'd imagine Keshawn is as loving as a cold fish in bed, so…"

"Benny, you got her pregnant."

Benny nearly choked on his biscuit, "Fucking hell mate, don't scare a man like that!" He said angrily, wiping off bits of baked goods from his chin.

"I'm not, I'm totally serious." Bellamy grumbled, "It has red hair."

"I haven't seen it," Benny's eyes went wide, "Man, you are fucking serious."

"Yeah. She had her chip taken out right after she found out the names and her marriage, it says here. Clarke said that apparently she wanted to have her one kid as soon as possible." Bellamy said, scanning her file. He felt a little guilty, delving into this, but he was curious.

"Oh, wow," Benny wove his hands through his hair, "I'm a father, already…" He mumbled, spacing out.

"It looks like you, sometimes. That's how I knew today." Bellamy said, crossing one leg over the other, leaning back.

"She doesn't expect me to…to what?" He asked, turning his head.

"Did she say anything to make you think that she was trying to intentionally have you be the father, not Keshawn?"

"No, we didn't talk much, you know. And when she came to me it looked like she was near having a mental break. I guess, she had to have known there was a chance, but Marisha isn't a manipulative mastermind!" He argued.

"I don't think so, then. She might know, or have ideas, but I don't…I don't think she meant to. I mean, I guess I didn't think this all the way through. I don't have any suggestions on what you should do now." Bellamy shrugged helplessly.

"Maybe I should…talk to her." Benny said, his voice sounding like his mouth had suddenly gone dry, "I mean, I guess I do what to know this kid, if it is mine." He said after a moment.

"Keshawn really loves him. The kid." Bellamy added, "But two fathers are better than none," He said, looking at his hands.

"This is really messed up, man." Benny mumbled into his palms. It was a rare instance where Bellamy would have totally excused harsher language, and Benny used swear words freely, so perhaps this told Bellamy just how much this had rocked his friend to the core.

"Yeah," Bellamy reached over and patted Benny's back, "Belated congrats-and, by the way, you owe me some money."

"Huh?"

Bellamy couldn't help but give a sly grin, "Remember that bet I made with you back when you were like 16? The bet that said that you were going to get a girl accidently pregnant one of these days? We bet twenty rations on it."

"I can't believe you're holding me to that!" Benny said in faux-offence.

"I am nothing if not consistent, and c'mon, we both knew that I was going to win that bet. I mean, honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if you already had a sprog somewhere we never knew about."

"You are just mean," Benny gave a dramatic sigh, pulling out his wallet.

"I'm a best friend, you mean," Bellamy corrected as Benny handed him the coins, "C'mon, I'm going to buy you a drink with this money. You totally deserve it. According to your watch, it's six pm."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yes, as you see inching ever closer to going to the ground!
> 
> So, since i know the photobucket link was not working for a ton of you, I have uploaded pictures of the couples on my art tumblr, or tumblr just for my works and art. My name there is youngbloodlex22 and there are 12 posts with all the couples/important other characters, to help ya'll visualize :)
> 
> So, as I said, I'm working on a Jactavia fix-it fix that starts in season 4 and then goes semi-canon following the episodes into the hiatus/what happened during those six years. I thought it was going to be a oneshot. It's over 50 pages so far. Yep, not a one-shot. But I'm SUPER excited about it and I hope you guys will be too!
> 
> Remember to read and review!


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! New chapter! yay!

15 Years after Start of Program

Clarke's fist formed to knock on Keiran's door, and all at once, she was caught with a thought. She gave a mirthful smile as she recalled being here years ago, before any of the stressors that were currently in her life existed, that she was coming over to go over some math homework. Kieran had been acting nervous the last couple times they'd been hanging out, and that night- when Kieran surged forward to kiss her- Clarke knew why.

Her first kiss. It had been...nice.

"I said 6, didn't I?" Keiran asked as she opened the door, "Where is-Clarke!" Her face lit up, "Going to punch me?"

Clarke realized her hand was still balled to knock on the door, but now was at the level of Kieran's face. Clarke chuckled, putting it down.

"Just...thinking," Clarke shrugged, shucking off her outer sweater as she stepped into the temperature controlled room from the drafty halls of the Ark, "About, well…"

"Mhhh, good times." Kieran agreed, understanding instantly, "Even then I had this thought that one day Bellamy would end up with you-obviously- so if I didn't make a move, it would never happen."

"Everyone acts like we're so obvious," Clarke grumbled.

"You are," Matt said from inside, "But hey, that's a good thing. I wish there was someone that I was so obviously meant to be with."

"You mean I'm not good enough?" Kieran asked in faux-offence, gasping her chest.

Clarke shook her head at the pair. She'd been trying to figure out how to broach a conversation with Matt about Toby for awhile now- a couple months, since Matt was taking it easy from work and he and Clarke weren't friends like she was with others- but when Kieran had invited Clarke to her house for a dinner before this year's Unity Day, Clarke couldn't refuse. Plus, she liked keeping up with Kieran.

"How's the leg?" Clarke asked, her doctor side slipping out as she went to look at the hard line that separated his natural leg from his metallic leg, hobbled together from wreckage of the old room. Clarke had helped build it, along with help from Benny.

"It does sorta what a leg should," Matt shrugged, "It keeps me upright. The joint was stiff for a while but Benny managed to fix it," Matt held up his faux leg by the calf.

"Lemme see the nub," Clarke said, "C'mon, take it off." She urged when Matt gave a whiny groan.

"You get a housecall! You knew that you had to go in sooner or later, might as well get it out of the way now," Kieran lightly slapped his shoulder, "Do you want me to get down and do it myself?"

"No, no. I gottit." Matt rolled his eyes, unlatching some buttoned-fabric fasteners and setting his leg on the table, "Happy?"

"I see you've been using the salve. No sign of infection." Clarke said, lifting his stub up where it was blown off, right above the knee and using a little shake-activated light to inspect it.

"Wheeellll…" Matt drew out the word in a long breath of air, "I didn't really want to have to lose more leg, obviously?"

"You'd be shocked how few patients have that sort of logic," Clarke said dryly, "Ok, you're good to put it back on."

"But now I'm comfortable with it off," Matt scratched it, "Is it considered rude to dine with only one leg?"

"We're all friends here. I'm fine with it," Clarke said. Kieran picked up his leg.

"Yeah, but let's not put this on the table." She went over to her small kitchenette, "I'm not Roma, I know, but Matt claims my cooking to be good. Then again, he only has one leg and for awhile he was on bed-rest so my food was the only food he got." She said after a moment, tapping her chin, "Oh well!"

"What's on the menu?" Clarke asked, "I'm sure it's better than the free Unity Day meal." She pointed out.

"Anything's better than cardboard potatoes," Matt shuddered, "I feel so bad for your rents, Clarke, Bell too. They all have to sit through that awful dinner, pretending to not be gagging…"

"The downsides of great power, I suppose." Clarke lifted her plate to accept the steaming veggies.

She took one bite and gave a hum of appreciation and a thumbs up. Bellamy had commented with a dry tone she'd leapt a little too quickly and seemed a little too not-apologetic when Kieran's offer to have dinner at her place before the celebration came up, opposed to being Bellamy's oneplus. But she just gave him a wide-eyed innocent stare and shrugged and he could only roll his eyes. Secretly, she was pretty sure Bellamy was jealous he couldn't find a way to squeeze out of this commitment.

Halfway through the meal, Clarke watched as Kieran and Matt shared a look that could only be described as meaning something, but she was unsure what. So, it was no surprise when Kieran set her fork down, and took Clarke's hand.

"C, I gotta admit, this night wasn't just to catch up. Not that I hadn't wanted to, but well…" She seemed uncharacteristically nervous. Matt nudged her shoulder, giving her a supportive smile.

"What?"

"We're not getting married tomorrow or anything, but watching others get hitched and have kids, this whole law, it's been made real." Kieran said softly. Clarke, who up until this point hadn't even been thinking about that, furrowed her brow.

"Kieran, stars, I'm so sorry. I mean you-,"

"I'm fine, I'm fine," Kieran said, anticipating her next words, somewhere comparing her to Miller or likewise, "I get to have a kid, something I don't know I would have done otherwise. That's cool. I want to ask you if you'd," She winced, "Helped with that?"

"I don't understand." Clarke looked at Matt, "I get that this can't be fun for you to go through, K, but I'm not sure what I can do."

"I looked. There's nothing saying the kid has to occur naturally. I want you help inseminate me when the time comes." Kieran said, raising her chin and nodding.

"Oh," Clarke said, blinking, as that seemed like a perfectly good solution, one she was pretty sure she'd brought up to Miller before. She wasn't sure why she didn't go there originally.

But Kieran must have thought the 'oh' had a different tone, because she began to nervously talk.

"We thought you'd get it, you know? I mean, you're all good with Bellamy but I just...and I guess there are other doctors I could talk to since it's not illegal, but I wanted you." Kieran blinked, "I...we...trust you."

"Kieran! I will, of course," Clarke blinked, "I would do anything I could to make this easier for you." She said.

Matt let out a long sigh of relief that turned into a laugh.

"Good, yes. Ah, champagne! Dammit, it's back in my room-," He said as he began to get up, "I'll get it, I'll get it."

"Aren't you gunna put your leg back on?" Kieran asked as he began hobbling to the door.

"Nope! I'll be back."

"Matt! I really think-" But he'd already left. Kieran sat back, let out a pleasured sigh that turned into a laugh. She was looking after the door and if Clarke didn't know for a fact she was a lesbian, it would have reminded her of a look she gave Bellamy often.

"How are you with all of it?" Clarke asked softly, "I've already had a chance to talk to Miller, but you matter just as much and I just...it's a touchy subject."

"Well," Kieran grabbed a carrot from the pile near the sink to munch on, "I love Matt." She said simply, "He may love me in a slightly different way, but I love him...it's not like a brother, but a best friend that's so much more." She leaned back on her chair, nodding not necessarily at Clarke, but just at the expanse of space, "If this had never happened, and someone told me I could choose any dude to have a kid with, zero sex required, yeah...I woulda chosen Matt. Because when I think of everything I don't have that I want my kid to be, it's him. But in a way, this is better, because I think I'd be upset if he was just a sperm donor and didn't get a chance to be a parent too, because he's going to rock. Lordy, if he was a girl, I would have picked him and never let him go."

"He will be a good dad," Clarke said, agreeing, nodding her head, "And you two are very close."

"We've decided we're platonic soul-mates. We think in another life he was a girl or I wasn't gay or something and we were together. Raising a kid is going to be easy between us. This kid will be so loved, Clarke," Keiran gave a smile, "We can tell it we love each other and not have to lie, and one day it will have 3 moms, stars willing. Me, whoever I end up, whoever Matt ends up with. But I don't think we're even worrying about any of that anyway." She waved a hand, "We might consider doing it earlier. He wants a kid, I want a kid," She shrugged, "Why wait?"

"You have it all figured out already," Clarke gave a heaving sigh of relief.

"Well, as I started with saying...it's happening. I think a part of me held out hope it would be repelled...that's not happening. I'm not someone to sob and whimper, you know me." Kieran shrugged.

"No, I guess not," Clarke agreed, "Matt's doing ok with his leg?"

"As good as one can. I think me being around, a friend, helps. He pretends well," She added solemnly, "It was a horrific event. I know there are days he'll wake up and still think his leg will be there, and I can see it in his eyes, this disappointment."

"You wake up with him?" Clarke questioned.

"We've been considering and trying out living together, for small bits. He'll never admit it, but I think he likes me around to help with it and all. I mean, he's not an invalid-he'd sooner die than have to rely on someone completely- but if he has trouble getting the apparatus on or his leg cramps or something, well, I like being there." Keiran said.

"How goes the experiment, then?" Clarke asked. She hadn't even considered trying to live with Bellamy, as practice. Then again, they both had parents they'd have to deal with, whereas Keiran had become an orphan at the age of twenty-one, so she had her own space.

"Frustrating, on occasion. Eye-opening. Fun." Keiran finally landed on, giggling, "You learn a lot about someone. Like...Matt gets in the shower first, and then takes off his socks? Who the fuck does that? And I only know because they're always wet, and he acted like that was normal!" She shook her head, "It appalled me, a bit."

"I'm sure he has dirt on you too," Clarke teased, "And I sorta want to hear what Kieran Larson's worst traits are."

"Yeah, nevermind I brought it up. He probably has a book on me. We both know between the two of us, he's the more put-together one. That's why this leg thing upsets him some days. He used to be so...at the top of everything, all of it."

"Has he talked to Toby?" Clarke broached her own ulterior topic carefully, deciding perhaps it would be better to go through Keiran first.

"Not to my knowledge."

"Has he talked about him? About it?" Clarke pressed. Kieran narrowed her eyes.

"Why?"

"Well," Clarke laced her fingers, "I...I've been helping Toby with his daughter. He's lonely. He and Matt were best friends and Toby thinks that Matt doesn't want to see him."

"He didn't, not at first," Kerian agreed right away, "For days he was just pissed. At everyone, even me. Toby tried to contact him and they got into a screaming match that ended with Matt throwing his leg at him," Keiran rubbed her temples as though recalling it brought on a headache.

"Oh," Clarke felt her hopes draining rapidly. For a moment, she did put herself in Matt's shoes...erm, shoe. Bellamy told her once she had tunnel vision, so set on a task she couldn't' see beyond that. She'd been so on Toby's side, but looking at the metallic leg on the table, she felt her indignant die down.

"He's not angry anymore," Kerian rubbed her chin.

"Oh, what is he?"

"Surviving," Kerian said, tiling her head in thought, "He's...accepted it all, this injury. He's not healed yet, mentally, but he's stopped blaming parties that shouldn't be blamed. To be honest, he's not told me directly but I just know...he doesn't know how to talk to Toby as much as Toby would know how to talk to him."

"They're both just being stubborn idiots then, perhaps?"

"Yeah," Kerain chuckled, "That's a good way to describe Matt on occasion. We...he was friends with Ana. I mean, he's pissed at her spirit and whatever, but he just feels awkward. He doesn't really think that Toby was in on it, but how do you start a friendship again? He worries he'll say the wrong thing."

"Lots of people do blame Toby."

"They're just, arg." Kerian shook her head, "I think Matt misses him too. But he also doesn't want to take Toby away from his kid. He's an only parent. If Toby asked me, I'd love to ask her. I don't want to overstep any bounds, though."

"I think we just need to get them drunk and in a room alone." Clarke said decisively, "I did convince Toby to come to the celebration, since they have free childcare tonight."

"Awesome. We'll make sure that they both get fully intoxicated and maybe have a bro heart-to-heart." Clarke said, preening.

"You and your elaborate plans," Kerain grinned, "They're still irresistibly adorable."

Clarke felt herself blush a bit, nodding and shrugging, "So Bell says too." She raised her eyes, "Shouldn't Matt be back by now?"

"Uhh, yeah." Kerian looked at the clock on the wall, "Huh-oh, wait, he's coming."

Clarke squinted, "How do you know?"

Keiran motioned to be quiet and tilted her head. Clarke could hear the faint, but gradually loud, rhythmic thump as Matt presumably came hopping down the hall.

"I am very used to that. I feel like I can hear him all the way down that hall," Kieran said.

"He does this often?" Clarke questioned.

"He's lazy, but I do argue that hopping takes much more energy than putting on the damn leg. He's also pigheaded."

Clarke listened until he was right next to the door, and he appeared, sweating but grinning. She wondered if it was how he worked out, in a strange alternative way.

"I'm baaaack," He forcefully set the wine on the table, "Whatcha guys talk about while I was gone?" He asked, grinning.

"Girly shit," Kerian shrugged, grabbing three wine glasses from the table. She poured a generous amount in Matt's glass, handing it to him.

"Ya trying to get me drunk, woman?" He asked, "Not complaining, of course…"

"No, not that," Keiran hit his arm, "Just, well, we're going to the party soon, and we wouldn't want to waste a perfectly good bottle. Plus, you deserve the lion's share, since you hobbled all to get this." Keiran's tone sounded genuine. Matt shrugged.

"Well, cool by me."

Clarke and Keiran shared a conspiratorial look.

\--

"I swear I'm seventeen! My chip glitches," A clearly not-of-age teenager tried to Bellamy, who had confiscated their glass of alcohol.

"Geeze, I've never heard that before, must be true," Bellamy said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

The kid, very drunk and on the verge of falling over if Bellamy let go of his shoulder, looked hopefully at him, "Really?"

"No, you idiot," Bellamy said, reaching for his walkie-talkie to have him taken back to the Guard Station, "You're going to spend the night in the drunk tank, kid, and we'll talk in the morning."

"Thought you were off tonight?" Murphy said, coming up to Bellamy with a cookie, scratching his chin.

"I am, officially. I just had to wear this," Bellamy said, motioning to his uniform, "For the banquet."

"Then what are you doing with him?"

"Well...if I see it happening, I'm not just going to let it go."

Murphy chuckled, "Teenage me hated people like you."

"Teenage you wouldn't be so done to be only," Bellamy consulted his pad, snorting, "Fourteen and drinking publically. You might have come to a party drunk, but it's not like we could prove it..."

Murphy tapped his temple, "True, Blake. I'd just get it from Monty or Jasper beforehand," He nodded, examining the boy whose eyes had glazed over half-way through their conversation, "Wow."

"Yeah," Bell rolled his eyes, tapping back into his talkie to remind someone to pick up this kid, but then again, they were always filled with kids around his age at parties like this.

"Hey, kid," Murphy tapped his shoulder, "No-over here."

"What are you doing?" Bellamy asked with a frown. Murphy ignored him.

"Kid, if you can walk to me without falling over, you get set free, okay?" Murphy said, winking and taking a few steps back from Bellamy.

"You're lying," The kid craned his neck, frowning.

"Well, what does this look like to you?" Murphy pulled his badge from his pocket.

"The Guard's Seal."

"Yep, so, that means I'm telling the truth."

Bellamy shoved the kid against the wall and turned on Murphy.

"The hell are you doing? You're not on duty, and even if you were, I can easily outrank you."

"Relax, Blake," Murphy said, picking Bellamy's hand from his shoulder, "Just playing with him. He's far too drunk to take one step, let alone four. Plus, I betcha he won't remember a word of this tomorrow."

"Murphy," Bellamy growled as a warning.

"Blake," Murphy mimicked the tone, "We're supposed to be having fun here, eh? This for me is fun. Let me have a moment. We've established he's not the brightest star in the sky, let me dig around with that a little."

"No. Don't terrorize drunk children." Bellamy said in exasperation.

"Okay, Mr. Spoilsport," Murphy said in a tone that clearly said he wasn't going to listen, "Yo, kid, eyes here...you want free?"

Bellamy's eyes roved the crowd, and he gave a grin when he noticed a bob of black hair, "Oh Raven!" He called out. Murphy straightened.

"What are you doing?"

"Raven, over here," Bellamy used his free hand to motion her over, "I have something-,"

"Okay, fine, fine! Let's just not get the gf involved," Murphy said, raising his hands.

"What?" Raven asked, coming over, raising an expectant eyebrow at them, "What is going on here?"

"Nothing." Murphy said quickly.

"Just confirming a suspicion," Bellamy said, his eyes practically sparkling with the devious knowledge he now knew.

"Which is…?" Raven said, looking past him to Murphy.

"You're my secret weapon to keep Murphy in line." Bellamy said, grinning. Raven raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, you just figured that out now?" She tapped Bellamy's cheek with her palm, "That's old news."

"I'm not whipped," Murphy muttered from behind Bellamy.

"Whatever you say, John." Raven hummed.

Luckily, at that moment, one of the cadets arrived, looking flustered and already with a chain of two other drunk underaged teens, carting away Bellamy's catch. He relaxed once the kid was gone, hoping now maybe he actually could enjoy the festivities.

He saw Benny's bright red hair on the other side of the room. He was talking to Teal, using his hands to gesticulate something and Teal was laughing so hard she was crying. Then, Benny's eyes moved to the entrance, and he got a look on his face.

Bellamy followed his gaze to see Marisha and Keshawn enter, Trevor on Keshawn's shoulders.

"-Bell, you listening, like at all?" Raven snapped a finger in front of his face.

"I...gotta fix something." Bellamy murmured faintly, seeing Benny's face morph.

"What's going on?" Raven said, stepping forward and following where he was heading, "What's this about? Should we be worried?" She asked, grabbing his wrist a little too tightly. Bellamy was about to snort and brush her off for asking with such urgency, but then he caught a glimmer of metal and saw her leg brace. She had reason to be concerned, as everyone did.

"No," He said softly, "It's nothing like that. It's some stupid shit Benny's gotten himself into...it's not even really my business, but…" He trailed off.

"If you're sure," Murphy's voice took a protective tone, "Bellamy?"

"I am," Bellamy said, searching Raven's eyes and hoping she believed him. She let him go.

"Well, I'm sure we'll know soon enough. Gossip just never stays buried for long."

"It will be awhile, if I have any say," Bellamy said, "I'll catch up with you all later."

He managed to grab Benny's shoulder just before Benny took a step.

"Whatever you're thinking, it's a bad idea, bro." Bellamy warned. Benny looked back, gnawing on his lip.

"I know, but-,"

Bellamy scrutinized him, "Is this the first time you've seen them?"

"Together, uh-huh," Benny was running his fingers through his hair, "Well, I've seen 'Isha since, but like, what the hell was I supposed to say?" He made a hopeless-looking gesture with his hands, "But just her. I make it a point to not see Keshawn, you know, and when the hell would I run into a toddler?"

"Benny," Bellamy gave a long sigh.

"I wasn't even going to do anything about it. It's not my problem, if it were, Marisha would have come to me, aright? But then I just started thinking and-,"

"To what end? Do you like Marisha?" Bellamy questioned.

"I...uh, as a friend, I guess. But like that? Together? Dunno, didn't ever think about it…"

Bellamy tried to steer Benny away, knowing full well this wasn't going to end the way he thought it would, but Marisha must have seen their movements. She leaned in, saying something to Keshawn, who nodded and took Benny of his shoulders, handing him off to her and vanishing into the crowd. The pair-mother and son- nudged through the crowd until they were standing in front of the two men. Marisha's face was hard to read. She turned to Benny, and shrugged.

"So I take it you know."

\--

"What...the door's closed," Matt slurred a bit, and Keiran patted the locked utility door.

"Yes, Matty, it is."

She and Clarke shared a look and snickered. Toby had been half-way to blackout by the time they found him, since Clarke knew this was his first outing since Irisa was born. Matt wasn't entirely hard to convince, and once they got some of Monty's moonshine, it was easy. A shot of that had you on the ground, so they gave him half of a shot. Clarke knew men well enough to predict that unless both were on the edge past tipsy, neither would say a word. They needed a heart-to-heart. Preferably one that left Toby with a friend again, but Clarke just wanted some sort of resolution. And she had to admit it took much less effort to get both of them into a utility closet together and shut the door.

"Toby?" They heard Matt say, "Why...why are you in this closet too?"

"So dense," Kerian tisked, "A girl would have figured it out by now."

Her and Keiran sat with a plate of cookies and glasses of wine against the door, listening in on occasion.

"So true," Clarke agreed, clinking her glass to Keiran's. Across the way, she saw Keshawn looking for her. WHen he saw her, he gave a wave.

"Do my eyes deceive me, or is Keshawn waving at us?" Kerian asked.

"Me," Clarke corrected, "We're…" She paused, "Friends." It was the easiest way to describe it.

"Hold up! Since when?" Keiran had a look of absolute confusion on her face, "He has friends? That's what's really baffling me."

"Well, he has Brad, but I think it's been hard since he went deaf. And I...it's not for me to tell. But let's just say I'm helping him with something."

Kerian guffawed, "Clarke Griffin, you have a finger in all the pies out there, don't you?" She said breezily.

"I thought you knew me by now," Clarke pretended to sound offended, "Of course I do." She got up, patting down the dust from her jeans.

"Yeah, yeah. Go on. I'll make sure they kiss and make up," Keiran waved her away.

"Clarke! I took your advice and I made us a nice dinner tonight," Keshawn said. Clarke had steadily been giving him suggestions on how to woo, or at least be-friend, his wife. He seemed eager to learn, so she was eager to help. Plus, she'd heard from Uma that Marisha was wary at first of his surprising behavior, but was enjoying it now. Who wouldn't want just a little bit more from their husband?

"How'd it go?"

"Very excellently. Marisha regaled me with her work she's done in the past few weeks, and Trevor just adored the pasta." He held her gaze, "Thank you very generously for supplying me with the pasta sauce."

"Oh, you can just say 'thanks'." Clarke was also helping him curb his formal language and make it a bit more accessible.

"Okay, well, thank you."

It was a process.

"How has your day been?" He asked. She had been encouraging him not to think just about himself but about the other person, asking questions they could answer. She knew he wasn't dumb, but she hadn't been sure he'd make the cognitive leap that what applied to Marisha applied to everyone in general, so the first time he'd inquired about something Clarke had done, she'd been a little shocked.

"Ah, you know," Clarke shrugged, sending a quick glance back to the door, which was still closed, "Meddling in other's business, per usual."

"Clarke," Keshawn frowned, "Who is in that closet?"

Clarke gave an innocent shrug. Keshawn's eyes clearly said he knew that she was up to something, but that's about when his interest gave up.

"Hey, Keshawn. Mind taking him back, he's a little cranky," Marisha came up behind him with Trevor, who was contorting himself in every which way and making small whining noises.

"Of course, come here." Keshawn gladly took him. Marisha noticed Clarke, and she gave her more than just a passing acknowledgement glance. There was a warning in her eyes; one that said that she knew that Clarke knew and Clarke better dare not tell Keshawn. But Clarke wanted to tell her Keshawn had no interest in finding out who Benny's father was. He'd declared that since Marisha didn't seem to be cozying up to anyone and the man hadn't stepped forward, there was no reason, since he was-as Clarke had convinced him- Trevor's true father.

"I'm going to get some juice for him. Do you want anything?" She asked.

"I'm fine, dear, thanks."

"Dear." Clarke chuckled when Marisha was gone, "That's new."

"Yes, we have been using generic terms of endearment lately, and it's going okay so far. Perhaps one day they'll be more precise." He looked at Trevor, who was still squirming, "Now, come on, let's not be like that."

Just like that, Trevor stopped, nodding at his father.

He let Trevor sit on the floor and handed him a small truck from his pocket. Trevor became instantly occupied with zooming it around on the ground. At one point, he looked at Clarke and picked it up, showing it to her. Clarke got on her knees.

"That's a car, huh? Not any of those around anymore." She said, ruffling his hair. Keshawn sat on the ground with Trevor too. He pulled a second car toy from his pocket- and Clarke could only assume Sarah must have done something to find those- and made them crash into each other. Trevor squealed with delight.

Clarke felt a tap on her shoulder.

She turned, "Wells! There you are! You were supposed to be here an hour ago."

"Clarke...can we…" He motioned off to the side.

"Sure! I'll catch up with you later, okay Keshawn."

"Later," Keshawn said after a small pause, and Clarke gave him a thumbs up.

"Hey! So, tonight, watch a movie at my place? Me, you, Bree, Bell, and maybe Octavia and Jasper? I haven't seen The Breakfast Club in ages." She said.

"Clarke, I need to talk to you about something." Wells said sternly. Clarke noted a peculiar look on his face.

"No, no. That's your political face and I won't have it tonight, Wells!" Clarke said, pushing his chest gently, "C'mon, enjoy this."

"Clarke," Wells grabbed her elbow as she tried to move away, "I really think we should talk about this now. I want you to hear it from me, a friend."

Clarke paused, weighing her options. Finally, she nodded, "Fine. What's going on?"

\--

"I'm just gunna…" Bellamy said after a pregnant pause, trying to tip his hat to the pair but Marisha gave a noise between a giggle and a sigh.

"I'm sure you're the one who told him, you should stay." She said, rolling her eyes. Maybe it was because she wanted a witness, maybe it's because he was known for being a good mediator.

"I would have figured it out eventually, you know? Not many of us around." Benny said, eyes fixated on the boy, referring to his very bright hair.

"You sure you want me to stay?"

"Yes." Both Benny and Marisha said in unison.

"Did you want this?" Benny spoke first, "When you came to my house that night, you seemed pretty eager to-,"

"Not in front of the kid. Also, no swearing. Kids are like parrots." Marisha said.

"I'll try my best." Benny crossed his heart.

"And no...I didn't. I didn't think about it, that I had taken my chip out." Marisha pressed her lips together, "But I knew. I knew as soon as he was born. You just get a feel for things."

"Oh."

Bellamy stared at Benny, who was looking at Trevor. Now, placing them in front of each other, there were certainly similarities. It was almost striking and Bellamy was fearful for a second some passer-by would have those thoughts. Bellamy moved his body to try to shield this conversation.

Marisha seemed to realize this too, for she picked Trevor up, who instantly began to cry, "I'll be right back. I'm going to take him to Keshawn. Don't move." She said in a mother-like tone, but one Bellamy was rather inclined to follow.

"Man...he's like my clone…" Benny whispered softly to himself, "You ever seen a baby pic of me? Spitting image, dude."

"That's what I was afraid of," Bellamy admitted.

They saw her hand him off to Keshawn, and leave to the refreshments table.

"Keshawns' real good with him," Benny said thoughtfully, surprised, "Look at that." He said, motioning to the two of them playing with cars on the ground.

Marisha returned, her eyes too looking at the pair. Her eyes softened.

"Benny, you've always been a great friend. I want to keep it that way. But what's your goal?"

"I don't...I just...I hadn't seen him since I was told." Benny admitted, "Lord knows I'd fuck it up with a kid." He murmured quietly.

"Keshawn is his father. Trevor adores him," Marisha said, "And he'd just be devastated if he ever knew-,"

"He knows." Bellamy broke in.

"What?" Marisha's eyes were wide with panic.

"Just that it's not his biologically," Bellamy said in a rush to calm her, "He hasn't figured out who. I don't think he's looking anymore, either."

Marisha relaxed a inch, "How do you know this?"

"Benny knows because I know because Clarke knows because Keshawn knows." Bellamy counted off on his fingers, "That's it though. I haven't told, Clarke hasn't, Keshawn didn't even mean to tell Clarke, I think and Benny…"

"I haven't either," Benny said.

"Good. Let's keep it that way." Marisha said, tugging on a strand of her hair, "I don't want this to become a scandal."

"I just want to know him," Benny blurted, "I don't want to become his dad, but I'm curious? Is he like me? Will he be like me? I just...wanna know, 'Isha." He said quietly.

Marisha got quiet for a moment, "I'm willing to let you babysit on occasion, only if Bellamy or Clarke is there with you. You said it yourself...I wouldn't trust you with any kid under the age of seventeen."

"Harsh," Benny sucked in his cheeks, "But probably fair."

"Let's hope Stasia is mother material," Marisha seemed to relax down to a point she hadn't been even walking in, "Because you, Benny, really…" She shuddered. Bellamy knew the pair were good friends, or had gotten close up until the night they conceived Trevor by accident. After that, she married Keshawn and they just drifted. Bellamy didn't want them to stop being friends, because it was such a shame to lose those sorts of people.

A part of his heart reminded him of Ana, and it still fucking hurt.

"I have a couple years to figure it out. Maybe babysitting would be good for me?" He said, "I think I've got the basics down- no swearing, no alcohol, no weed."

"Yep," Marisha said sarcastically, "You're ready to start your own child care system, you have me totally convinced."

"Bell, you okay?" Benny said, mid laugh, noticing his friend's expression.

"Yeah, just...it's nothing." He rocked on the heel of his foot, "Since I think we're past the point of you two doing anything stupid, I'm going to go wander a bit. There were some people I said I'd find somewhere in the night."

"We're good," Marisha confirmed, "And thanks...I suppose."

Bellamy nodded faintly. In the end, he didn't even end up staying long at the party. Instead, something in his heart had withered away and he found himself back at Clarke's apartment. He had done a good job of not thinking about Ana for a very long time. It had been weeks since she'd crossed his mind, weeks since he woke up hearing the bang and watching her slide down the wall, a trail of blood following her skull. And now that his anger was gone, there was just an ache left. He and Ana worked the last Unity Day together. She'd been carefree then, or so he thought. They'd joked about her upcoming wedding and she'd let Bellamy in on all the scandalous places she and Toby had managed to have sex and gave Bellamy tips in case he ever wanted to try them out with Clarke. It seemed completely inconceivable to him that she could go on to blow up the meeting room just a few short months later.

Sometimes, he didn't understand much of anything at all.

\--

Clarke felt her eyes burn and she used the heel of her hand to press against her sockets, then dragged them down her face in an attempt to lash away the tears. She stumbled through the halls, hiccuping as she tried not to cry. Flashes of rage crossed her mind, and she was so angry and so upset that she fumbled on the lock of her door, taking three tries to get it right.

She saw Bellamy first thing in the door, lounging on the couch, arms folded over his chest and staring pensively up at the ceiling. At the sound of the door opening, he peer over to her, and his face immediately flashed with worry.

"Clarke, stars, what's wrong?" He said jumping up, going over to wipe away a tear from her cheek. A flash of rage so uncontainable rolled over Clarke, so much so she shoved on him hard.

"How could you?" She demanded.

Bellamy's face paled, "What?" He asked, frowning. Her shove, although not as powerful as she may have hoped, did unbalance him for a second and he teetered on his feet.

"Oh, shut up. You know exactly what I'm talking about," She snarled, throwing her arms out, "And I just want to know how you are okay with this? How you didn't even say a damn thing? These kids could have been Octavia, Bellamy!"

Bellamy, for his credit, did truly look confused.

"I'm not...following…" Bellamy said, taking a careful step forward, "Just tell me what's going on?"

"The food fund for the orphans! They're dismantling it!" Clarke cried.

\--

Bellamy felt surprise, followed by horror, followed by understanding wash over him. He stiffened, hoping his last emotion didn't slip through as he shook his head.

"Stars, Clarke...I had no idea." He didn't, but that didn't mean he didn't know why, "You have to believe me when I say I wouldn't have kept this from you." He said, holding both of her shoulders and looking at her face. She faltered, sniffling.

"You...you're allowed to read the transcripts of council meetings, though." She said, her voice small and her anger flagging at his steady expression.

"Just because I can doesn't mean I've been, of late. Unity Day takes a lot of preparation on the Guard's part. It's not something I do for leisure to begin with." Bellamy said. He turned to grab his tablet, but when he scrolled, he found little actual conversation about it.

"How did you find out?" He asked.

"Wells," Clarke collapsed on the couch, "But he says he can't tell me why! Like, fucking hell, does he not recall the last time that he withheld this stuff from us?" She said. Bellamy snorted. There was a long pause and he realized that Clarke was staring at him expectantly.

"He doesn't know anything, really. I'm sure his dad just passed it along." Bellamy said, "Don't be so quick to blame him either."

"So you know?" Clarke asked, her eyes as firm as a flintstone. He realized his wording was problematic. He shook his head, and although he hated lying to Clarke, he couldn't explain it. How could he? And from this reaction, he didn't think Clarke would keep it a secret.

He wondered about a month ago how they could continue the rations to the orphans with food dwindling already, and this was his answer. He was just constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop- or a thousand shoes and there would be a thousand more cut backs before they got to the mark of years that Raven, Monty and Jasper were scrambling toward. Clarke didn't have an inkling that the prison was the first cut, which he understood with a bitterness he hated-why give food to kids they were mostly just holding to kill later? He wondered what her response would be if she knew that too. But what could she do? Not much. This was a problem that had a solution. This wasn't Keshawn or Toby or Matt. This was something concrete, scary, and real.

He didn't like lying to Clarke, but what other choice did he have.

He put on a mask of innocence, "No. I'm just saying there's some high up files related to this meeting and I don't have access to them. If I don't, Wells certainly doesn't." He said. It wasn't a total lie. There were a few files attached to the meeting, ones he couldn't open. But they were relating to Jake's project, and therefore few could to begin with. And they did relate, he knew this without a question. But it was still stretching the whole truth.

"I just don't understand, Bellamy. It was going so well. It was doing such good."

Bellamy shut his tablet off.

"I know, I know," His sympathy was genuine as he pressed his nose to her neck, "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry I shoved you. I don't know why I'd even think you'd keep things, and something as big as this, from me." She whispered.

"You were angry, hurt. I get it." Bellamy's voice cracked, but Clarke didn't notice.

"I'll fix this. I'll go back, revise the plan. Plead to Jaha, I dunno, but I will fix this." She said, her back straightening a back as her familiar look of resolve hardened her.

"I'm sure you'll work something out," Bellamy said, smiling, but deep down his heart wasn't in his words.

Oh Clarke, he wanted to say instead, this isn't something anyone can fix…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I think I said before, the ripples of the explosion are still there, as are the ripples coming from the other side of the timeline, the one about the ark dying and them eventually going to the ground.
> 
> I think that this end bit is interesting because I think it really shows in this AU how Clarke has diverged from the character she was on the show. This is still Ark!Clarke, meaning that yeah, I think this is the reaction she would have had. But, I think in the show, she's a much more hardened character and she would have understood 'for the greater good' as she's had do do many times before. In this story, Clarke hasn't had to make all those awful choices. So she's a very different person. I think Bellamy is the more 'for the greater good' here because of his job and because of knowledge, not because of principal.
> 
> So, I'm sure a few of my readers I've turned to Jactavia shippers, or you already were to begin with. I, sometime this summer, basically had a huge burst of creativity and wrote a 100 page Jactavia AU starting from somewhere season 4ish basically in which Jasper never dies and he and Octavia actually freaking talk this season. It's been updated quite a bit already, I'm uploading chapter 7 today out of ten, but maybe go and check it out? It's in a huge need of reviews and some love :) it's called 'if you must mourn, don't do it alone'.
> 
> Since the time I uploaded the last chapter, I have basically binge-watched all of The Vampire Diaries. Not sure why I never got into it now...anywho, I'm on the last six episodes of season 8. It had spawned so many ships. If you wanna know who I ship and squeal with me, you can ask, because I'm not going to take the time to write them all here now lol.
> 
> Anyway, remember to review!


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lordy lordy has it been so long already? Uggg, in that long break from the show, I sorta just lost my inspiration to write about them, so I stepped back, worked on other stuff and kazam the show being up and running again has literally re-awakened all my feels. ESPECIALLY 5x03! BELARRRRKKEEEEE
> 
> Anywho, I went and realized I had about ten pages of the chapter written, so I decided to cut it in 'half' basically just so you guys would HAVE an update now. I mean, I hope it won't be more than like twoish weeks before the next chapter is out, and then regularly after that, but let's just take our wins and run with 'em, eh?

15 Years After Start of Project

Even in the dim, flickering light of the office, the stone still seemed brilliant to Bellamy. It wasn't anything huge, but it wasn't the smallest ring out there. It was enough, or he hoped Clarke would agree. Not that she was bound by classless opinions on such things, anyway, but he found himself doubting everything since he made this choice.

He leaned back in his chair, pushing his feet upon the top of the desk as he turned it left and right, trying to get the light to dance over it just right. His heart thudded just looking at it. Everything about this ring made it final. It was one of the last final things in his life to do, he figured. At least for him, he wasn't one of those people that were already looking for his next wife. No, he would marry Clarke for life and if she died- and impossible thought, but one he knew he had to think of, at least once- he didn't think he could ever marry again. Truth was, there was just no one like Clarke around.

Sarah had found it, not that he needed her to entirely anyway, but Sarah still found things and Bellamy still liked to recall a time that wasn't as long ago as it seemed when that would have been his only option. He recalled on their first date, Bellamy had been scrapping together portions to impress her. While it was more than he'd ever had before in terms of money, he was still acutely aware that the dinner he provided was almost a whole month's rations, after he counted out what he and his mother and Octavia would need for food. He had thought it unimaginable he'd ever get to this point; that this ring, which very well cost him triple what that first meal was, left hardly a dent in the rations he had saved up.

Between him and Clarke, he made more than her, in reality. At least for now. He knew Clarke would continue to climb up that ladder, and one day she'd take over her mother's spot. Bellamy wasn't sure how much higher he'd go. Once, Benny had asked him if he'd ever thought about being the Commander, or even the Chancellor since there was no hard or fast rule the Chancellor had to be in politics. Bellamy had admitted he hadn't thought much about either, but the question hadn't left his mind since. At least right now, he was happy where he was. The only way he'd accept either of those positions was if it was the best for the ark, for the people upon it.

In a world not so far away, with the way things were going, he could almost see it.

The top of the ring box snapped close as a pit formed in his stomach. A voice that he'd done a good job of keeping tied down leaped free and whispered in his head. How could he possibly ask Clarke to marry him when he was keeping so many secrets from her, ones that she was just inches away from finding out on her own?

He recalled how three days ago, he'd gone to Jake to formally ask permission to marry Clarke. Overall, since they were betrothed and getting married even if they had hated each other, the point was moot. Still, he was a traditional sort of guy and he wanted to prove to Jake, who he liked on most occasions better than Abby, that he was going to do right by Clarke.

Jake, of course, hadn't a reservation at all.

Somewhere during their talk, Bellamy brought up the fact he still felt uneasy about keeping this secret, one he didn't totally know everything about, from Clarke.

"If we're going to be married, I don't think I can…" He trailed off, "Jake, I just can't do it."

"You have to, Bellamy," Jake's voice was grave, "You're like a son to me, you know that. So listen to me when I tell you I'm on your side. But Clarke can't know."

Bellamy paced angrily, "She's not a child! Obviously," He snorted, "I think she is old enough to realize-,"

"Have you met my daughter?" Jake interrupted, "She's so…idealistic, which is so beautiful. The creativity that comes from that is unbounded to anything, but it makes her naive sometimes. We've seen things. We know how these things go."

Bellamy closed his eyes, drawing a shuddering sigh as his fingers twitched, as he replayed over and over the moment of shooting Ana in the head. He remembered dragging the metal off Monroe and seeing the blood spill over her lips, down her chin and the light dying from her eyes. He remembered the glint in Diana's eyes before she realized she'd lost. He remembered how many of their men they'd floated, good men, or so Bellamy had thought. He remembered how small the guard seemed afterward.

He remembered too that Clarke had seen none of it. She'd only experienced a portion, safe in the medbay, hearing things from others. He remembered how she was so insistent that Ana's death was necessary, how Bellamy couldn't possibly be bad.

But it was all gray to him. Even now, he wasn't sure it was the best thing. Ana would be killed anyway, but maybe her daughter needed her mother more and maybe he shouldn't have done that, knowing how it felt to be the child of a single parent. Maybe there was a darkness in him and maybe that's all there was.

"You know what I'm talking about," Jake whispered, and Bellamy opened his eyes.

"One day," Bellamy whispered, "She'll go through something and maybe then I can tell her."

"I'm doing it for her, Bellamy. If she tells anyone…that's treason." Jake pressed.

"Jaha couldn't float her thought," Bellamy's eyebrows shot up, "She's like practically his niece, a daughter, even!"

Jake's lips turned thin, "Years ago, I almost told the whole world about something. Before we formed the brain trust. Before a solution was found. Abby talked me out of it. I had the same thought you did; Jaha has been my best friend since I was five. But he would have. He would have floated me. I asked. He didn't lie."

The admission felt almost like a slap in Bellamy's face, "And you're still his friend? After he admitted that?"

"Things aren't so easy. I could have started a mass panic." Jake said, "And I'm sure glad I'm not in his position." He gave a wry chuckle.

"You wouldn't go around floating best friends!" Bellamy shook his head.

"Someone has to make those hard choices," Jake said, "Someone has to put the Ark before individuals, otherwise we would have all died eons ago." He turned to look at Bellamy, "I'm glad it's not me, and I never imagine for a second what weighs on his shoulders. I'm just glad it's not me."

Bellamy was utterly silent for a second. Sourly, he knew somewhere deep that Jake was right. To hell with 'for the good of the ark' though. He'd heard that so many times if he heard it once more, he felt like he'd barf. It all seemed so ominous. Still, though, for the first time, he seemed to realize what real danger Clarke could be in. He almost wished he'd never figured it out; never dug into it.

"I get it now," He murmured, shaking his head, "Damnnit."

"With any luck, in a few years, this will all be fixed and everyone will know then," Jake said, but this wasn't as comforting as Jake seemed to think it was.

"I'm a shit liar around Clarke. What if she asks the wrong questions, the ones I can't deny?"

"Practice. If you love her, and stars I know you do, you'll wait for when everyone knows or there will come a day something dark will find its way into her heart, and she'll be like us." He said, "But honestly, selfishly, I hope that day never comes."

"Bellamy-," a voice outside the door startled him from his thoughts, "You have a visitor."

The tone was teasing, and as Bellamy pulled up his holopad, he didn't notice a meeting planned for today.

"Yeah, come in." He said absently.

There was a flash of blonde hair and Bellamy threw the ring case in a drawer hastily, snapping it shut.

"Don't want me to see something?" Clarke teased.

"Confidential stuff. Boring as hell, but ugg, rules." Bellamy said, looking pointedly the other way. Clarke seemed to accept this, although he knew that it was an awful cover-up, she had something else on her mind.

"Does this door lock?" She asked slyly. Bellamy, locking the desk drawer, looked up and grinned.

"Why?" He asked, leaning back. Clarke had found the lock and was snapping it closed.

She turned, an innocent look on her face, "Oh, you know why."

She was wearing her lab coat, and he figured this must be her lunch break. Bellamy rolled his chair away from the desk, enough so that Clarke could come behind and stand almost touching his bent knees.

"You know why I'm here?" She asked.

"Work's slow?"

"Well," Clarke ran her fingers through her hair, "Yes…but no. I'm here because I missed you." She whispered. Bellamy gave her a goofy, love-struck grin.

"Clarke, I just saw you this morning."

"No, I miss you." To emphasize further, she undid her lab coat and dropped it to her ankles, revealing nothing on underneath. Not a shred of clothing.

Bellamy's mouth went dry. They hadn't been intimate in a couple days, because it seemed whenever one got a break at work the other's work would burst out with some mini problem. Thus, it had left both of them high and dry for at least twelve days. Bellamy had a feeling where this was going, but this? Well, perhaps in his wildest dreams, but yet, here Clarke was.

"Door's locked?" He confirmed.

"'Course." Clarke said, "We're blissfully alone…" She whispered, leaning forward and kissing down his neck, her fingers working to undo his belt buckle. She shoved the chair against the wall and straddled his lap, "So, Lieutenant Blake, is there a punishment for public nudity?"

"Well," Bellamy said, his hands drawing across the small of her back, "I can think of one, but it's very specialized…"

"Will it hurt?" Clarke asked as they worked to shimmy his pants down his legs.

"Actually, with any luck, you might just enjoy it," Bellamy said, and in a spur of the moment, grasped his handcuffs and clicked it onto Clarke's wrist, and then the other end onto his desk.

"Oh, Bell," Clarke purred in a low, sultry voice that made him so very glad she had chosen to do this.

And they nearly finished; Bellamy with one hand gripping her waist as he pulled her down against him, the other on her mouth to keep her from moaning, Clarke with her one free hand tugging his hair and her thighs tightening, both of them trying to find just the right movement so the chair didn't squeak too bad and both panting and sweating and so close until-

"Lieutenant? Hey? You in there?" A different voice than the one who had shuffled Clarke into his office, because anyone could probably guess what would be happening, called, "You got ah, someone here to see you."

Clarke and Bellamy paused their actions. Bellamy took his hand-bitten and bleeding- from over Clark's mouth and she shook her head, whispering, "It's locked. We're okay, just…say something."

"I'm uh," Bellamy's voice was rough, and for someone on law enforcement, Clarke thought his 'normal' voice was not that great, since if they didn't think he was having sex right now the person outside the door was probably a virgin, "I'm busy." He coughed, lowering his tone.

"Door's locked, ma'am." The guard said to whoever was apparently waiting for him. Clarke started to move again on Bellamy and his eyes tore away from the door back to her. She bit her lip and gave him a raised look, as if to ask wasn't this, the thought of being caught, sexy?

His hips bucked back into hers as he smirked. It sort of was. She began to gyrate tortuously slow on to of him, just enough to make all of Bellamy's thoughts turn to absolute nothing. Why had they stopped again?

"No problem there," The second voice responded. Ah, shit, yes. They'd stopped because of that.

The other voice on the outside hummed casually as they played with the lock, and there was a terrifying moment when Bellamy heard someone jimmingy the door. He shoved Clarke down onto the floor just at the right moment. Clarke ungracefully shoved herself the best she could under his desk, her hand still attached up front, and Bellamy grabbed a stack of papers of his desk to make his lap look mildly decent.

The door opened and the visitor took a look inside, snickered, and turned back to the guard, sending him away. She closed the door and re-locked it.

"Lieutenant Swan, this ah, couldn't wait?" Bellamy asked, looking up to his former mentor.

"Mrs. Swan, now, since I'm off the force." She reminder, her gaze taking in the papers spilled on the floor, Clarke's discarded doctor robe, Bellamy's pants pooled at his feet, "I apologize for taking you away from what looks like quite the afternoon."

Bellamy couldn't imagine his face turning any redder, "You're not going to tell Commander Miller, are you?" He moaned quietly. He was sure this little rendezvous broke a rule, if not more than one. Lieutenant Swan, because he could never imagine calling her anything else, waved a hand and scoffed.

"Please," She said chuckling, "If you don't think me and my late husband- bless his late soul- didn't do the exact same thing as soon as I was moved up to my own office…" She gave a reminiscent grin, "See those marks there? It's harder than you think for a man with one hand to be balanced with a desk, but we managed."

Bellamy's eyes flickered to the long gashes in the wood. He recalled seeing Leitant Swan's husband once or twice before he had passed; a man with a hand missing from an infection untreated and he walked around with an array of apparatuses. Bellamy wans't sure if he should be disgusted or amazed to find out where the marks had come from.

Swan picked up Clarke's only clothing.

"Bellamy, I'm going to turn around and you're going to right your trousers. And Ms. Griffin, I believe I have your clothes too. Please unlock her; that looks very uncomfortable." Swan said, setting the robe on the desk. Clarke poked her head up. Bellamy's fingers fumbled as he went to unlock the handcuffs. Then, he hastily set his own self right. Clarke tied up the strings around herself tight, sending Bellamy a sexually frustrated look. He sent one right back.

I can't take this, tonight I'm gunna jump her bones and there could be a fucking fire on the Ark for all I care, but I sure as hell won't be the one to respond to it.

Swan turned around as Clarke was attempting to fix her hair to look less suspicious. Clarke opened her mouth to say something, but thought better and merely bit her knuckle in slight aggravation and empressement before leaving.

"What a young thing you two are," Swan smiled, "It warms my heart you know. And to answer your question, no, this couldn't wait."

Bellamy had been leaning over to pick up the papers that had fluttered off his desk. At the severity of her last comment, his head came up.

"This can't wait. What's…going on?" Bellamy rolled the words over his tongue, "Is everything...okay?" He asked, worry clouding his thoughts. Although, why was Swan coming to him? Wouldn't Commander Miller be in here or calling a meeting if it was something big?

"Technically," She drew the word out, her voice so calm and cool it was eerie to hear and a shiver ran up Bellamy's spine, "No."

"Technically?" Bellamy frowned, "I'm sorry, I'm just not…"

"The Ark." Swan interrupted him.

Bellamy licked his lips, shrugging, "Yeah? About that?" He said, but his voice sounded dry.

"Oh, Blake," Swan said in a voice that was almost pitying, "We both know that you know what I'm talking about."

Bellamy's shoulders hunched and a fear gathered in his stomach. He wasn't supposed to know, not really. Jake was protecting him, and he wanted to trust Swan, but since events of late, trust was hard for him to believe in anymore.

"How do you know?" He decided to ask instead.

"I might not be in the force anymore, but that doesn't mean I stopped being perceptive when I left," Swan sniffed indignantly, "And for the files, I could still get to…" She tapped three times on his desk, "I'm just losing my eyesight. Not my mind."

"Oh," Bellamy swallowed thickly.

"And so, I went to David. He's a good boy, and I do believe he does all he does for the Ark, unlike that scum-of-the-earth Shumway. And I asked him, point-blank. Well, I'm just a little old lady. If I were to tell people, the council would have a 'crazy' sticker on me and no one would question anything I said. So, there was no harm in admitting it to me. I asked him who else knows. Besides himself, since these matters are of the guard too, he only gave me five other names- The Chancellor, the father of the girl that was under the desk, and three of your little friends. But, we looked at those files and we both realized that someone with a great mind and a natural tendency for wanting to help his fellow Arkers would have figured it out. We came to the conclusion that you, Bellamy, must know."

"So it was a guess when you came in here? And I just admitted I've been sticking my fingers into places they shouldn't be?"

"I knew it as a certainty," Swan said quietly, "I mentored you, Blake. I know you like I know my own children."

"What now?" Bellamy let out a long breath, "Now that I've been made?"

"Well, nothing bad. David is glad it's you. We surmised no one else on the force has figured anything out or been so forward to look into these discrepancies themselves. Sheep, as I told you. David told me that when you took this job, at the child's age of nearly seventeen, you told him you didn't want to be a mindless gunman. You never could be, but now, this comes with consequences."

There was a silence between them, "I don't know more than you do," Swan continued, "David doesn't know much more than you do. But I do know this, child, you are in for the day where you are going to have to make some very tough decisions, see things I wished you did not have to see."

"I…" Bellamy almost said 'I already have' but he didn't want to admit this.

"I know," Swan seemed to read his face anyway, "But worse than even that."

"Why are you here?" Bellamy felt something snap within him, a nerve or something that would have never made him so angry at someone he respected so much under different circumstances.

"Because I wanted you to know that I believe in you." She said, leaning over and taking his hand, "I know I don't give these mushy feelings often, and this might seem dramatic, but there will be a moment or worst case there will be moments, where you aren't sure what you are doing is the right thing. Two impossible choices. But I just want you to think of me and remember that I know you will be making the right ones. And, even if they are the wrong ones, I won't think any less of you. You are a king." She said, the last phrase so precisely that Bellamy had to think it meant so much more than a mere compliment.

He let out an exhale, his eyes meeting hers.

"Oh," He murmured. It was such a small sentiment, but it meant a lot between them. It meant a lot to him.

Swan's pad beeped. She checked something, her face darkening for just a swift second, and then shook her head.

"Is that…do you need to?" Bellamy fumbled around with his question.

"I do," She replied tersely and stood. But, her worried face faded as she looked at Bellamy. She smiled warmly and something about her smile made him feel okay, if even for a second.

She turned to leave.

"Swan!" He called out, her fingers on the door. Swan chuckled, turning.

"You know, Bellamy, I think at this point…you can call me by my first name. Emm."

"Emm," Bellamy tried it out, but it felt clunky to use it when he seemed still to be so much like a child. She turned when he said it and he couldn't recall how to breathe, just for a second.

"So what happens now?" He asked.

"We do what it takes to survive. We do what we've always done." Emm said and this seemed good enough to Bellamy. He nodded firmly.

"I will do what I can to protect the people of the Ark," He said, a promise.

"I know you will. I hope to the stars above you can." It seemed like such a strange parting notion, but Bellamy understood it. Sometimes, under the best of circumstances, there was little that could be done for certain things. Nevertheless, Bellamy felt renewed.

They could beat this. They had to, and Bellamy was going to do everything in his power to make sure they did. With people like Swan or Miller behind him…he couldn't fail, right?

PROJECTIPHIGENIA

"I'm sure you and Bellamy will re-initiate your private relations again," Keshawn told Clarke in what she assumed was his comforting voice.

"You can just drop it, Keshawn. I appreciate the effort, but that doesn't help me right now." She moaned. She had put back on her clothes under her robe, but she still felt itchy and uncomfortable. She'd thought about going back. But, the allure was pretty much gone now.

"Well, you look primed to disrobe the second Bellamy walks in here if he is smart enough, so-,"

"Hey, let's just…" Clarke bit her lip, "Not. I don't need reminding about this incident, alright?"

Keshawn snickered a little, and Clarke made it seem like she was very interested in the coma patient's pad.

"What about you, I mean? Aren't guys always horny?" She turned the question back to him. Keshawn seemed mostly unfazed.

"I've learned to stifle my urges. I don't want to rush things. Marisha and I had relations twice, but she learned she was with a child not much after, so there seemed to be little point. But now?" There was a grin on his face that Clarke was sure she'd never seen before, something very human, "We are…approaching something."

"What?" Clarke nearly dropped the pad, "No way!"

She pulled him outside since she still had part of their break left. She took him a hall and a half down so they could talk more in private. She knew Keshawn was a person who didn't like speaking of such things in public, but Clarke was really curious now.

"Yes…way," Kesahwn winced at her slang, "I do not mean to kiss and tell, but I suppose I already have and I know you to be of good trust, so we've…done some things. A couple nights ago. It was enjoyable for me," His eyebrows folded, "I hope for her too…"

"Well, I guess you'll only find out in the future if she liked it," Clarke said. On any other day, she might give Keshawn all the tricks of the trade to pleasing a woman in bed, but today, she was just too restless to do that. Nevertheless, she was genuinely happy for them. She wanted to believe Jaha, who she saw as an Uncle, did something right- not just her and Bell, but others too. She wanted everyone to come out of this somewhat happy, as stupid as that may seem.

Keshawn opened his mouth to reply, but it seemed instantaneously all the lights and bells went off on her pad. She flung it open, eyes scanning the red dots and turned off the little blaring noises.

"What is it?" Keshawn's voice was deep with concern. His fingers rubbed over a scar he'd gotten from helping dig people out of the rubble when the bomb went off. Clarke's fear went to the same place.

"Some kind of commotion in a meeting room," This wasn't sounding much better, "My mom sent out the call. She's there. Go back to the Med Bay, get gurneys, prepare!" Clarke commanded immediately.

"Where are you going?"

"To help my mom!" Clarke was already racing down the hallway.

She reached the commonplace, somewhere she knew many of the elders came to enjoy themselves during the day and saw bodies filling the floor like dropped flies.

"Oh my god," Clarke choked out. A moment of terror seized her, but she shook it off quickly. The first three people she checked on were already dead.

Two people down, she spotted a face she'd seen what felt like just minutes before, but she knew by her watch it had been nearly an hour since she'd left Bellamy's office.

"Lieutenant Swan," She said, scrambling over to the frail blonde woman, cradling her head in her lap. She checked her pulse, found it beating faintly and began to search for what happened.

"Clarke…" The woman's hand came up.

"It's okay, it's okay. I'm going to help you now." Clarke whispered, struggling to keep her voice even, like a good doctor.

"Don't try," Swan's voice was weak and so very silent, "The young shall inherit the earth. The old should not stand in your way."

"What?" Clarke asked, leaning down, "That…Lieutenant?" She'd gone still. She shook her a couple more times, but the woman's last breath had left her. It seemed impossible that someone that had just walked in on her and Bellamy was just…just…

Clarke looked up, and all she saw around her was a sea of the dead. No one moving, no one breathing. Just stillness.

Her mother was standing at the wall, her eyes leaking and her face deeply lined with agony.

"Mom?" Clarke's voice sounded positively childlike, broken, "I don't understand…" She whispered, her fractured question carrying over the group.

"Oh, Clarke…" Her mother came forward, trying to help her up, but Clarke just collapsed onto her. She'd seen death before, she'd seen death a lot. But this felt so different from it all, even so different from the bomb. There was just nothing here to grasp, it seemed meaningless. It seemed, at the same time, like it was done intentionally.

"I feel," She tried to speak, but found tears clogging her words and so it was more like faint gasping, "Empty. I don't get it. I just don't get it."

"Clarke, oh," Her mother was shaking too, but she rubbed Clarke's hair and hugged her tight. She might have been on the rocks with her mother lately, but she couldn't imagine a more comforting motion than this right now.

There was the sound of footfalls and squeaking wheels down the hall.

Keshawn came in first, and it seemed for a second he didn't really see.

"I got a message from your mother saying not gurneys but body ba…." He trailed off, his eyes widening as he took in the scene. Around him, doctors streamed in, but they all too paused and just stared. The silence was deafening.

"All dead?" Jackson was the first to speak.

"All of them."

PROJECTIPHEGINA

After Swan left, Bellamy pulled up files, crossed-referenced. He checked to see if anything had changed from what he knew; for better or for worse. And then, he called a meeting.

It was a small meeting, those he trusted within the already small guard. Those he had been personal with enough to trust their character beyond anything. This was not the time for assumptions, it was the time to be vetting people carefully.

Murphy already knew, in a sense. It wasn't until it was brought up that a flicker of something passed across his face, but even then, he hid it well. The rest that made up this trust of sorts was Marc, Booth, Keith, Octavia, Miller (Nate), Harper, and Dax. They all sat, squished into Bellamy's office as he recounted the meeting with Emm Swan, leaving out important bits of course.

"It's just dark times we've entered. I think we all want it to just go back to how it was before, but before was not a good place. It's always been dark. It will get darker before we come out of this, and we need to be not a guard based upon following every stupid rule but one based on helping the people of the ark."

"You're asking us to disobey orders?" Harper asked uncertainly.

"No, no," Bellamy said, "I'm just saying, that when given a choice, pick the more compassionate one. Pick the one that's for the people, not for a hunk of metal."

Murphy concealed a snort, but Bellamy wasn't sure why. He didn't have time to ask.

Their meeting was interrupted by Commander Miller bursting in. He didn't even seem to be concerned that Bellamy was having a secret meeting, perhaps even relieved, but that was all overshadowed by his next words.

"A code red at the Elder's Hall."

By the time they got there, Clarke managed to get out that the elders had been dead for at least ten minutes, if not longer.

"And, Bell…" She stopped him as the guards came to help move them out, to partition off the public, "It's…Swan."

Bellamy felt a cold hand grasp his heart. Emm's words suddenly did have a ring of a goodbye to them, one he hadn't wanted to hear before. He shook his head firmly.

"I just…we just saw her." He whispered.

"I know." Clarke replied back, her voice hollow, "I just don't get why, Bellamy. I want to get it, I want to get this all so bad it hurts." Her fingernails dug into her palms.

"We'll figure it out, bring whoever did this to justice," Bellamy promised her. But, as it turned out, there was no one to bring to justice…not, truly.

A mass suicide. The first in the history of the Ark, Jaha told the guards afterward.

"Were we not treating them with enough respect? Were their conditions not good enough? Was there something we missed?" Jaha was inconsolable about this, at least when he wasn't putting on a smiling face to the public. At this moment, Bellamy was glad he was the Chancellor. Bellamy couldn't imagine having to face the public after something like this.

97% of the elders upon the Ark had committed suicide. Over 300 people had gotten one of their former chemists to mix something, drank it, and all gone off. Bellamy couldn't imagine it was painless, but, he liked to think so. If it were a perfect world, that is.

He felt a little less sure about his crusade to save the people of the ark when he obviously couldn't tell that Swan was about to go off and do this. He felt a little hopeless. He felt a little lost.

The days after were dark for everyone, darker than he could have imagined.

"You were right," Octavia told him, "You were right about it. Damn."

He hadn't wanted to be.

Lots of people had lost their grandparents, parents, uncles. And while a very nice ceremony was held for them, it didn't help anyone understand why it was. No one left a note. And, for a long time, as far as anyone could tell, nothing was said.

Two weeks later, he found Clarke crying at night. It reminded him so much of his time after Ana. She hadn't talked at all about it, and he knew it was hard. He knew she'd found some still alive, like Swan, but had been unable to save any. That must be difficult, he understood.

"Swan told me something," She whispered against Bellamy's chest and repeated it, "I don't get it, I just don't…why?" She whispered, her sorrow turning to anger, "I wanted to help people and I couldn't help a damn one."

"They didn't want you to," Bellamy said consolingly, "There was nothing to have been done."

In the back of his mind, something was whirling. Something was clicking. Something was making sense.

When Clarke went to sleep, soothed by Bellamy's quiet assurance and warm hands rubbing her back, he stayed up, blinking into the darkness. Could it possibly…?

He felt renewed, but in a sense that weight heavily upon him. The sense that dark choices were being made for survival, and this, he felt, might only be a taste of what was to come.

Two after that was the day before Murphy turned of age, which meant he and Raven were to be married. It seemed impossible that anyone should have a happy occasion, but he was getting hitched circumstance or not. There had been talk about canceling his bachelor's party, which Bellamy and Benny had been planning for months, but now Bellamy was all the more inclined to keep it. It didn't take a whole ton of convincing. Sides, people needed somewhere to let out their emotions anyway, and Monty's moonshine was a good start.

The quest to get Murphy drunk enough to talk about Raven's brain trust wasn't even the whole thing he focused on the whole night. In fact, there was a part, at the beginning, where he made the conscious choice to let go a little. He wasn't going to get as roaring drunk as everyone else, but hell, he needed something like this. He let himself be pulled into stupid games of truth or dare (mostly, dare or dare) and talk dirty and all the other things that the boys got into.

It didn't take long for most of the boys to tire themselves out; what with the release of emotions, the drunken state, and the activity most had participated in tonight, Bellamy was hardly surprised. He was glad to see Murphy still up, though, lounging on the couch and staring at the ceiling.

"Care for another?" Bellamy teased, holding up Monty's glass of moonshine, now dangerously low.

"Whaa…? Oh, fuck no. I made Raven promise I wouldn't get too out of it and here I am. I can't have anymore," He slurred, and Bellamy felt his fluttering nerves relax. Murphy was drunk enough to maybe be loose-lipped, but not drunk enough to start telling him about aliens and ghosts and other B.S.

"I can't believe you're getting married," Bellamy said, sitting down, shaking his head, "You…"

"I know man," Murphy snorted, "Me…little ole John…" he clicked his tongue, "I want to do right by Raven. I don't know if I know how. I don't think I had the best examples."

"The Collins, what about them?"

"I guess," Murphy shrugged, "But…I dunno. I just don't want to be like my mom. Like her mom. What if we are who our parents are?"

"I don't believe that," Bellamy said firmly, "Because the fact you're even worried says so much."

"And I have you," Murphy added, uncharacteristically forward. He winced, as though realizing what he just said, "Awe, shit, not that I, I meant,"

"No…bro…it's cool." Bellamy pats his shoulder, "I get it." He did.

He paused, something telling him he had to ask soon, or else the chance would be missed entirely.

"The mass suicide. You didn't have anyone, did you?"

"Thank god, no." Murphy said, "I know Jasper did. He's taking it rough. Went and saw him yesterday, with O."

"Yeah, me the day before," Bellamy agreed. He hadn't someone in the group either, but even having someone from their after-school group lose a family member felt like they all did.

"Clarke said that Swan told her something before she died. The young will inherit the earth and the elderly shouldn't stand in their way," Bellamy frowned, struggling against his alcohol mind, "Or, something similar."

He watched the way Murphy shrugged.

"Murphy…" Bellamy said slowly. Murphy looked at him and leaned forward, putting his hands in his palms.

"No, man, don't." He warned, "I can't…I can't tell you." He said through muffled hands.

"Murphy, I need to be able to help people. I can't if I don't know what's going on. But those words?" Bellamy licked his lips, leaning forward, "John."

Murphy seemed to sober a bit, and Bellamy worried that he'd pushed too far. But then Murphy gave a long sigh.

"I'm going to tell you what you already have already figured out," Murphy whispered, looking Bellamy straight in the eye, "The ark is fucking dying." Hearing those words, that certainty took strength to hear. He'd had bits and pieces, and yes he probably could have guessed something like this, close to this, but hearing it from the source? He swallowed thickly as Murphy continued. He seemed more with it than the entirety of the night, to be honest.

"But I thought-,"

"Yeah, us too. But who knows where someone went wrong? Who fucked up? If it was a miscarried point or zero or one or whatever? Or if we just survived too well? Or if it was something no one could foresee. Thing is, this ark ain't going to take us to our projected 'okay' date."

Bellamy listened intently, cataloging this.

"Swan, she's a clever one. She figured it out too, came to Jasper, asked around. He didn't say anything damning but she trained you, she's good. And next thing we know this happened." He clapped his hands together, "We were all going to die. We'd done the numbers, crunched everything, and we were off. Our calculations. There was a setback, right at the start, and no one on the trust thought it was going to muck things up this late in but whoops, I guess." It was the least 'whoops' that Bellamy could think of, "But Swan? That little stunt? It gave us the extra three and a half months to come clean again. We don't have any extra time. But, for this one second, I have to believe we might make it."

"You…have a plan, right?"

"No way. I've said too much. You could have figured all that out by your own little pesky self. But I can't tell you anything else, no matter how drunk I get. Because if it fails…" Murphy chewed on his thumb, "Then it just fails and you don't have to carry that."

"But-,"

"We all carry things equally. That's what we do, okay, Bellamy? It's not just for you or for Princess or Miller. You have so much shit to deal with yourself. One is not to let the general public know. You get why, right?"

"Yeah, I know." He agreed. He'd known that for a long time.

"If you guess it, I guess I wouldn't have told you what the plan is," Murphy sniggered after a moment, "But honestly, I really don't think you'll guess specifics. You'd have to guess specifics."

"Noted." Bellamy's mind was already whirling. He wanted to ask right now but held it inside. A part of him didn't want to know, as much as maybe he had thought he did. For, if it wasn't great, if it was just a 'meh' plan, he'd be devastated. So, he wanted to believe that his friends would pull through. But, on the other hand, …dammit.

He let the silence hang between them.

"Murphy, do you, personally, think we'll be okay?" Bellamy asked.

"Yeah," Murphy said, "I know I haven't won awards in optimism before, but hell if anyone can do it, my future wife can." The pride emanating from his voice made Bellamy proud too.

"How long?" Bellamy asked, "Until this comes to?"

Murphy let out a long sigh, "Three years."

"Wow," Bellamy said, surprised.

"I know, not long at all! So much to do…"

In reality, Bellamy thought that was a very long time to be so concerned about something, but then, he realized that they'd already been working on this for years. So, perhaps, Murphy was right.

"Hey, Murph…if this does go south, you'd let me know before we all just ceased to exist, right?" Bellamy asked tentatively.

"Yeah," Murphy decided after a moment, "I would. Cuz if it goes south, we're dead anyway and therefore treason won't even matter."

"Is there anything I can do now?" Bellamy asked.

"Keep being you?" Murphy shrugged, "The Ark needs someone who cares about the people. This piece of metal won't matter in three years. The people will."

"Of course."

"And…"

"Yeah, Murphy?" Bellamy yawned, his limbs growing heavy.

"Don't be a freaking martyr. We've had enough of those recently."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I hope that you all liked this chapter, despite the wait. Next chapter takes place like 'right' after, since this is cut in two...so Murven wedding, plus a member of the Project goes to great lengths for her family...
> 
> This new season of the 100, y'all. I seriously think it's one of the best yet. They said that they were going to be re-mixing the first season a lot and sometimes when shows do that, it's like hardly there at all or not done well, but this? THIS? It's just masterfully well done. I could write so much on how much I'm enjoying literally everyone this season, and we've hardly begun! Even characters I wasn't too fond of last season (Jaha, Echo, Emori) I'm really loving this season! AND BELLARKE ARGHLAFLH this is a ghost updating today BECAUSE I DIED WHEN I SAW THE END OF THAT LAST EPISODE. And Murven? WTF my ships coming true? What is this? Twilight Zone? Even if they're just BROTPs, like, compared to where they were season one, I can jive with that.
> 
> On my end, what have I been doing? (in terms of fanfic, that is?)
> 
> I finished 'If you must mourn, don't do it alone', which was my Jactavia season 4 au story! I'm probably going to so a sequel, but I seriously loved writing that and some reviews on that one would be lovely :)
> 
> I started a new story, a Zuko/Katara one, that's a Selection series!AU called The Prince's Choice
> 
> I update my art/story tumblr pretty damn frequently, youngbloodlex22, and I've been doing a daily fic recommendation as well as uploading my art, so if those things interest you, check that out too!
> 
> Hope to see a review from y'all!

**Author's Note:**

> I have all the couples in my head! They will either be ones we already know, or OCs since I obviously figured there were more on the Ark than just the Sky Box kids. All the last names I took straight from the original Ark members, which you can find on their wiki, so it is grounded in some sort of canon.
> 
> Many of the couples are my own OTP couples from the show that never happened *sob sob*. I'm not even sure if I'm going to tell you whose paired with who, or let you glean that on your own. Of course, right now you don't even know whose going to be in these pairs, but ya know.
> 
> The title is very important. If you know anything about Greek Myth, it tells a lot about the story and it's meaning and the general idea about it. I'm not going to say too much, but, well, if anyone was wondering what the name meant. Go educate yourselves, read up on it a bit ;)
> 
> Please, if you enjoyed it, drop me a review! I'd love to hear your thoughts! Also, I recently participated in a drabble contest on tumblr for Bellarke. I'm only posting it on Ao3 because it's really short, but go check it out if you want. It's under my username which you can find in my profile.


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